- Joined
- Apr 6, 2019
- Messages
- 160
Thursday October 17th:
I've decided to see how well I can fare with Mystery's newbie challenge, after finding out about it.
I was initially thinking of setting a simple maintenance goal of 5-10 approaches per week, but then I heard Mystery recommends 48 approaches per week for a newbies first 2-3 months of game. He calculates this as 3 approaches per hour, 4 hours per night of game = 12 approaches per night, with 4 nights of game per week.
This would be 16 hours of gaming per week, which is quite a bit no doubt.
I've decided to take on the 48 approaches/week for as long as I deem it necessary. Maybe I will dial it back over time if it's too hard, but I will still find a number that I'm comfortable with to consistently hit as a bare minimum for hopefully the rest of my life. I'm tired of not being consistent in my social skills, just as I've taken similar commitments recently to be consistent in the gym and in progressing my business.
In order to hit the 48 approach per week mark, I'm going to have to train myself to do quick "walking by" openers in order to warm up over time and kick the rust off my game until I can actually hook sets.
This is actually a style openers that RSD Luke recommends, with basically giving the girls a quick compliment while walking by, and then if they are receptive, turning back towards them and saying "wow you guys are actually friendly".
This is a style I used to run quite a bit, so it's where I'm comfortable in right now.
However, I've also been researching other openers, and been building up a document to categorize and test various openers, even if I think they are stupid. I also eventually will begin creating random openers through my own brainstorming, to see if I can develop my own canned routine set... as I have a few strategies I'm working on.
Synopsis of Night:
Tonight I went out alone again in Austin TX. In my last report, I forgot to mention that I ran into some old friends and wings of mine, so that was a bit of comfort last time that made opening a bit easier. Although, I didn't really wing well with them, and only did like 1 or 2 sets with a wing. I did talk to them quite a bit, and made the venue much more comfortable and friendly
Tonight, however, I was 100% alone.
In order to keep up with my 48 approaches per week pace, I needed to do 7 opens tonight. That is the only reason I went out, to meet that goal, as I'm still rusty in my social confidence, so I'm setting the bar low to just hit my number and be satisfied with that alone.
I take the long route to get to the bars.... and in doing so, it was helpful. The long route allowed me to do some vocal warmups on the way, which helps build my confidence/expressiveness.
It's weird as hell, but when going out alone like this, it really helps me to practice yelling while in public as one of those gay "social freedom" exercises. It makes me feel more comfortable in a public environment, like I'm safe.
During the long walk, I thought multiple times about just going home, but my approach goal kept me just wanting to at least check things out.
I finally get to one set of bars, and they look kinda dead, so I go to Dirty 6th Street to try to see if street game is any decent on Thursday nights.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I remember that Thursday nights are actually the best time to go to Dirty 6th because it's not overcrowded, and more of a college night.... good to know that some of my knowledge is still relevant haha.
Dirty 6th is where I first developed my game, so it is a place where I'm somewhat comfortable. Still opening on the street can be a little awkward as well. It's really just the initial approach usually requires more energy/dominance to get people's attention. It's a lot of walking sets as well.
Funny, that I'm reading the mystery method recently and in it mystery say that "walking sets are extremely hard to open". I've been trained to open walking sets, so I wouldn't say they are "extremely hard".... just requires a different style. It's definitely a little harder though.
Anyways, Dirty 6th was pretty great. I got there around 12:30AM so I only had about 1.5 hours to do these approaches. I noticed some decently hot girls as I was walking there, but I didn't have the balls to open yet lol. Then, as I take a lap in the main street area, I notice an enemy of mine who I had a business falling out with. This puts me in my head a bit, as I had no idea he even went out, but thankfully I don't think he noticed me, and I don't see him for the rest of the night.
At this point though, I'm pretty in my head, and thinking "man this is crazy. I'm out here alone, and should just go home".
I even thought "man, maybe this approach goal is too hard... I should just make my goal to simply stand in a bar for 30 minutes instead..."
Then I have another thought "nah. I made it all the way fucking here. Let's just get these 7 opens really fast and be done."
To me, the time deadline I've imposed on myself that I need the 7 approaches done before 2AM is pretty motivating...
So, I finally get a lay up of an open... a stumbling drunk cute girl by herself walking towards me. I drop a quick opener - can't even remember what it was, and was instantly rejected, she was on the phone anyhow...
But, for being alone, this was a huge win to even just say something to a girl... going from 0->1 on my opens is great progress and motivated me.
Over the next 1.5 hours, I found myself looking for sets to open, and then finding bullshit reasons to not open... it was definitely an internal battle of sorts, and I found that I had slow myself down a bit. Slow down my walking pace, slow down my thoughts and ease into the moment.
This is definitely where meditation can help, as being in a meditative state while gaming is very helpful.
I also recognized at a certain point that I felt that the environment was "on top" of me, when I needed to be "on top" of it.
I finally was able to string together a few more quick opens.
In the Mystery Method, he says that it takes about 3 approaches to reach a very basic level of being socially warmed up. I actually found this to be true. As I hit 3 approaches, I felt a bit more comfortable doing approaches.
I continued, with nothing to write home about. I think my 6th approach was the only one that came close to hooking. That was actually a walking set that I noticed on a side street, and walked ahead of. Then I turned my head while walking ahead of them, and said "hey I have catch an uber, but I just wanted to ask - are you from new york?"
Girls: yes we are!
Chris: what part?
Girls: Brooklyn
Chris: You ?? YOU'RE from Brooklyn. No way
Girls: Yeah I am... ? (was a little awkward feeling like I was implying she wasn't "cool enough" or something)
Chris: Cool. I used to live in Manhattan (a lie by me)
Girls: Brooklyn is way cooler, manhattan sucks (and put an "L" handshape on their forehead)
It fizzled out hard at that point... but this was one of the better interactions.
Right after this I hit my 7th approach at 1:50AM, and man oh man... this was RELIEVING !
I felt so relieved from achieving my goal, and this put me in a fun mindset, where now I just wanted to do more approaches for my own fun/self amusement !!!
Which, is fascinating... that there is such a difference between approaches under pressure and approaches for fun/to mess with people - I should definitely think of ways to embody this even more.
I was able to get 3 additional approaches in.
The final set was the most interesting, a hot young blonde chick from LA, that was in a 4 set with 1 guy 3 girls. It's a little hard for me to explain what happened, but it was my best (and longest) set of the night by far. I tried to disqualify a lot, and hold frame, and I noticed that my overall game had been improving just because I was able to tie a few things together during this set. I didn't really get proper logistics or try to seed a pull/venue change (it was like 2:00AM). But overall was an awesome set to end on, and it really was the cherry on top of all the social momentum I built.
Overall, the night was fascinating to me, as I had to build up my confidence all alone on a lonely street... and it sucked ass at first... the first approaches I always feel such resistance/AA... but this is usually how it goes when my game is rusty.
I've never been able to consistently push through AA, it's something that for me always comes and goes with the social momentum/confidence I build. That's why this is a big point of focus for my 48 approaches/week habit, since I want to be able to consistently approach even when I feel AA. Consistency in opening + hooking is really my current focus. I want to properly dial these in since in the past I always skipped ahead.
I want to systematically build my game from the ground up, even if it takes me a year to get consistent at approaching + hooking, I'm willing to put in that work!
What went well ?
1. Made it out on a Thursday night
2. Surpassed my 7 opens goal with 10 total opens in the night !
3. successfully opened a walking set
4. opened + hooked hot blonde chick
5. used H in set
6. Pushed through to get the initial opens despite AA
7. Remembered how to ease into the night and melt into the environment/interactions
8. did vocal exercises on the way out
9. Went into 2 bars as well (was kinda scared to do so lol)
10. Lifted today (maybe helped with confidence ? idk)
11. Continued building a map type document of openers
What didn't go well ?
1. Got out late at 12:30AM - this is too late for me to get the approaches done and get home at a reasonable time
2. Felt scared to open mixed sets still/talk to dudes
3. Stayed out too late! I'm probably going to feel like shit tomorrow AM
4. Struggled with AA quite a bit, was being quite a pussy
What will I do differently next time ?
1. Prep for going out earlier... figure out how to be ready to go
2. Again, read more about tying the opening and hooking together, and how to keep an interaction going... I guess leading from hooking to venue changing ?
I've decided to see how well I can fare with Mystery's newbie challenge, after finding out about it.
I was initially thinking of setting a simple maintenance goal of 5-10 approaches per week, but then I heard Mystery recommends 48 approaches per week for a newbies first 2-3 months of game. He calculates this as 3 approaches per hour, 4 hours per night of game = 12 approaches per night, with 4 nights of game per week.
This would be 16 hours of gaming per week, which is quite a bit no doubt.
I've decided to take on the 48 approaches/week for as long as I deem it necessary. Maybe I will dial it back over time if it's too hard, but I will still find a number that I'm comfortable with to consistently hit as a bare minimum for hopefully the rest of my life. I'm tired of not being consistent in my social skills, just as I've taken similar commitments recently to be consistent in the gym and in progressing my business.
In order to hit the 48 approach per week mark, I'm going to have to train myself to do quick "walking by" openers in order to warm up over time and kick the rust off my game until I can actually hook sets.
This is actually a style openers that RSD Luke recommends, with basically giving the girls a quick compliment while walking by, and then if they are receptive, turning back towards them and saying "wow you guys are actually friendly".
This is a style I used to run quite a bit, so it's where I'm comfortable in right now.
However, I've also been researching other openers, and been building up a document to categorize and test various openers, even if I think they are stupid. I also eventually will begin creating random openers through my own brainstorming, to see if I can develop my own canned routine set... as I have a few strategies I'm working on.
Synopsis of Night:
Tonight I went out alone again in Austin TX. In my last report, I forgot to mention that I ran into some old friends and wings of mine, so that was a bit of comfort last time that made opening a bit easier. Although, I didn't really wing well with them, and only did like 1 or 2 sets with a wing. I did talk to them quite a bit, and made the venue much more comfortable and friendly
Tonight, however, I was 100% alone.
In order to keep up with my 48 approaches per week pace, I needed to do 7 opens tonight. That is the only reason I went out, to meet that goal, as I'm still rusty in my social confidence, so I'm setting the bar low to just hit my number and be satisfied with that alone.
I take the long route to get to the bars.... and in doing so, it was helpful. The long route allowed me to do some vocal warmups on the way, which helps build my confidence/expressiveness.
It's weird as hell, but when going out alone like this, it really helps me to practice yelling while in public as one of those gay "social freedom" exercises. It makes me feel more comfortable in a public environment, like I'm safe.
During the long walk, I thought multiple times about just going home, but my approach goal kept me just wanting to at least check things out.
I finally get to one set of bars, and they look kinda dead, so I go to Dirty 6th Street to try to see if street game is any decent on Thursday nights.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I remember that Thursday nights are actually the best time to go to Dirty 6th because it's not overcrowded, and more of a college night.... good to know that some of my knowledge is still relevant haha.
Dirty 6th is where I first developed my game, so it is a place where I'm somewhat comfortable. Still opening on the street can be a little awkward as well. It's really just the initial approach usually requires more energy/dominance to get people's attention. It's a lot of walking sets as well.
Funny, that I'm reading the mystery method recently and in it mystery say that "walking sets are extremely hard to open". I've been trained to open walking sets, so I wouldn't say they are "extremely hard".... just requires a different style. It's definitely a little harder though.
Anyways, Dirty 6th was pretty great. I got there around 12:30AM so I only had about 1.5 hours to do these approaches. I noticed some decently hot girls as I was walking there, but I didn't have the balls to open yet lol. Then, as I take a lap in the main street area, I notice an enemy of mine who I had a business falling out with. This puts me in my head a bit, as I had no idea he even went out, but thankfully I don't think he noticed me, and I don't see him for the rest of the night.
At this point though, I'm pretty in my head, and thinking "man this is crazy. I'm out here alone, and should just go home".
I even thought "man, maybe this approach goal is too hard... I should just make my goal to simply stand in a bar for 30 minutes instead..."
Then I have another thought "nah. I made it all the way fucking here. Let's just get these 7 opens really fast and be done."
To me, the time deadline I've imposed on myself that I need the 7 approaches done before 2AM is pretty motivating...
So, I finally get a lay up of an open... a stumbling drunk cute girl by herself walking towards me. I drop a quick opener - can't even remember what it was, and was instantly rejected, she was on the phone anyhow...
But, for being alone, this was a huge win to even just say something to a girl... going from 0->1 on my opens is great progress and motivated me.
Over the next 1.5 hours, I found myself looking for sets to open, and then finding bullshit reasons to not open... it was definitely an internal battle of sorts, and I found that I had slow myself down a bit. Slow down my walking pace, slow down my thoughts and ease into the moment.
This is definitely where meditation can help, as being in a meditative state while gaming is very helpful.
I also recognized at a certain point that I felt that the environment was "on top" of me, when I needed to be "on top" of it.
I finally was able to string together a few more quick opens.
In the Mystery Method, he says that it takes about 3 approaches to reach a very basic level of being socially warmed up. I actually found this to be true. As I hit 3 approaches, I felt a bit more comfortable doing approaches.
I continued, with nothing to write home about. I think my 6th approach was the only one that came close to hooking. That was actually a walking set that I noticed on a side street, and walked ahead of. Then I turned my head while walking ahead of them, and said "hey I have catch an uber, but I just wanted to ask - are you from new york?"
Girls: yes we are!
Chris: what part?
Girls: Brooklyn
Chris: You ?? YOU'RE from Brooklyn. No way
Girls: Yeah I am... ? (was a little awkward feeling like I was implying she wasn't "cool enough" or something)
Chris: Cool. I used to live in Manhattan (a lie by me)
Girls: Brooklyn is way cooler, manhattan sucks (and put an "L" handshape on their forehead)
It fizzled out hard at that point... but this was one of the better interactions.
Right after this I hit my 7th approach at 1:50AM, and man oh man... this was RELIEVING !
I felt so relieved from achieving my goal, and this put me in a fun mindset, where now I just wanted to do more approaches for my own fun/self amusement !!!
Which, is fascinating... that there is such a difference between approaches under pressure and approaches for fun/to mess with people - I should definitely think of ways to embody this even more.
I was able to get 3 additional approaches in.
The final set was the most interesting, a hot young blonde chick from LA, that was in a 4 set with 1 guy 3 girls. It's a little hard for me to explain what happened, but it was my best (and longest) set of the night by far. I tried to disqualify a lot, and hold frame, and I noticed that my overall game had been improving just because I was able to tie a few things together during this set. I didn't really get proper logistics or try to seed a pull/venue change (it was like 2:00AM). But overall was an awesome set to end on, and it really was the cherry on top of all the social momentum I built.
Overall, the night was fascinating to me, as I had to build up my confidence all alone on a lonely street... and it sucked ass at first... the first approaches I always feel such resistance/AA... but this is usually how it goes when my game is rusty.
I've never been able to consistently push through AA, it's something that for me always comes and goes with the social momentum/confidence I build. That's why this is a big point of focus for my 48 approaches/week habit, since I want to be able to consistently approach even when I feel AA. Consistency in opening + hooking is really my current focus. I want to properly dial these in since in the past I always skipped ahead.
I want to systematically build my game from the ground up, even if it takes me a year to get consistent at approaching + hooking, I'm willing to put in that work!
What went well ?
1. Made it out on a Thursday night
2. Surpassed my 7 opens goal with 10 total opens in the night !
3. successfully opened a walking set
4. opened + hooked hot blonde chick
5. used H in set
6. Pushed through to get the initial opens despite AA
7. Remembered how to ease into the night and melt into the environment/interactions
8. did vocal exercises on the way out
9. Went into 2 bars as well (was kinda scared to do so lol)
10. Lifted today (maybe helped with confidence ? idk)
11. Continued building a map type document of openers
What didn't go well ?
1. Got out late at 12:30AM - this is too late for me to get the approaches done and get home at a reasonable time
2. Felt scared to open mixed sets still/talk to dudes
3. Stayed out too late! I'm probably going to feel like shit tomorrow AM
4. Struggled with AA quite a bit, was being quite a pussy
What will I do differently next time ?
1. Prep for going out earlier... figure out how to be ready to go
2. Again, read more about tying the opening and hooking together, and how to keep an interaction going... I guess leading from hooking to venue changing ?
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