What are the reasons women don't like to lead?

[GeneralFap]

I would like to understand why women don't like to lead and expect men to do it. I always here women like to be led, but there's never a full explanation. What are the evolutionary/social reasons?


Thanks.

 

[Franco]

Lothario,

I think this is the article you are looking for:

• Why I Don't Tell Women to "Step it Up"

- Franco

 

[GeneralFap]

I've already read that article. it's not what I was asking.

 

[Frost]

Think about the prehistoric times. Women's main purpose was to deliver healthy children and take care of them until they can do that on their own. Men's job was to provide food, fight enemies, keep women and children safe etc... In addition to that, don't forget that women lacked the resources men had, in terms of physical strength, having followers which makes unsuitable for leadership. Imagine a women deciding to take control of the group she's in. She would have to overcome all the males and subdue them to her in order to win. And even when she does, she wouldn't be able to be a leader because she can't be pregnant and take care of children while providing for the group at the same time (even the providing by itself would be really hard).

And let's not forget the reproductive aspect. Women are the selectors in the mating process, not men. And in order to keep the man that impregnates them around afterwards, they developed a strength of their own, which is manipulation. If a women can manipulate a man, she can make sure he sticks around to provide for her and her children, but at the same time she will have some sort of access to his resources. For example (it's a very silly example but just to illustrate my point), if she happens to dislike a certain male in the group for some reason, she can easily get her man to get rid of him, either by kicking him out, or even killing him (the modern day equivalent is when a woman makes her boyfriend/husband have a fight with his best friend, with a simple sentence like "When you left the other day he started sexually harassing me").

If you ask me, I think women with their power of manipulation have a lot of power over men, and it would not make sense for them to lead. However, there are a lot of women in modern society that like to lead, they are usually the ones with a high status in their career (think famous politician, manager of a big law firm etc...).

 

[GeneralFap]

Frost, I like what you said about the groups. Being a leader is a lot of responsibility and if a woman in a position of power makes a bad decision she might be exiled or even killed by group members or just simply overthrown by others for power. So I guess they just decide to eschew all of the responsibilities of leadership and instead have indirect leadership by manipulating the man. I'm guessing it could also be that nature knows that men are the more logical of the two sexes so it encourages women to let men make the decisions.

 

[Bboy100]

The one leading is by nature, of higher social status than the follower(s). The only exception to this is artificial hierarchy's. Ex. Your boss at work might technically in a position of leadership, but he may actually exhibit behavior that is of lower social status than you.
This is also the reason why you might find it very easy to take the lead in certain situations/with certain people, but less so with others- in the former scenario, you're higher status than everyone there, in the latter, you're not.

At any rate, women seek men who are higher status than they are to mate with.
Women seek men of high status for a variety of reasons:
1. Better access to resources
2. Better suited to protect her
3. Better suited to raise her children
4. A higher chance of creating offspring which are also high status.
...and so fourth. The list goes on and on. I won't write too much about why women seek high status males here because there's a lot written on the topic all over the pickup community. So I would just be reiterating. And I get the feeling you already know this anyways.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Think about the prehistoric times.

We don't have to go back that for. The industrial revolution changed the life styles greatly. If you look back 100 years at the Native Americans they lived much as the man did 4000 years ago. Even though we ourselves don't remember this type of life it is ingrained in our DNA.

If we could look forward 100 years we might find that women no longer need men as protectors and providers due to technology and social responsibility. Women in the 1st world countries now don't need a man now to protect their physical safety. If they have a way to provide food and income for the children they really don't need a man but for sex. Look at all the single mothers raising children now. We are not too far from having socialism to raise our children instead of the traditional family. So if women are provided for by the government then they will only need men to produce children and for casual sex. Men will have to become high end value if they want to procreate since they will have not any other value to women. So this takes our scenario of friend/boyfriend/lover to just friend or lover. If you think what this site teaches is important now, when women wants you only for sex it will be paramount.

BDSC

 

[Rusty]

The reasons why women don't like to lead?

I'd ask the same thing of many men. Many men lack leadership in day-to-day situations. Even at work, most men are afraid to step up and take responsibility or break ground, take risks.

Leadership starts from the smallest decisions. I can't tell you how many men have trouble figuring out what to eat, where to take a girl on their dates, when to ask for the bill, little things like that. You have to know these things. You have to learn. Most men can't even do these right.

Whenever I go out at night, I actually see a very funny thing. As people wade through crowds, 99% of the time, I see women leading their men by the hand, and the man being dragged along... like a puppy. He's being physically moved around by a woman. That's not how it's supposed to work. You have to be the one leading, whether it's physically, mentally, emotionally. You lead the conversation down a good path. You lead her through the crowd. You take the lead.

Women don't like to lead because that's feminine nature. It doesn't mean they can't. But their innate disposition craves men who will lead them. It's too bad most men have trouble leading in their own lives.

 

[ray_zorse]

Yes, except to say that the Family Court and the Family Violence infrastructure (restraining orders and so forth) is primarily operated by and for women. This does give them a degree of independence since one woman can order that another woman use her husband's assets, control when he sees his kids etc. It's not fully certain how this situation came about but I would say that the feminist lobby with complicity from the media (which prints hundreds of stories of men going bonkers daily while ignoring the fact that statistically a larger proportion of family violence is committed by women)... is largely to blame for the erosion of men's rights and the general confusion about what it means to be male. Luckily I am no longer confused, and knowing what I know about female attraction, behaviour, communication style... I can understand and appreciate where Drexel is coming from, and agree for the most part, even if it does sound a little extreme. Don't forget that women in high pressure roles are able to adopt a male thinking and communucation style 9-5, it's expected and necessary. Chase writes that men and women will often adopt the opposite communication styles e.g. a woman chilling after work with male colleagues may still be in a more factual style whereas a man letting his hair down with close friends over drinks may adopt a more relating style.
Ray

 

[JaegerBeta92]

ya it's difficult to not sometimes feel bitter and resentful, hate girls at times because they always expect us guys to take initiative, to take the lead, it makes me feel like i'm doing all the work while she is doing nothing, this is an example of it that i hate, a guy was angry over girls not texting him first, a girl who he is currently talking to, and a guy responded to him by saying "I swear there is a question about this every week on here.
Get over it! Be the guy, initiate conversations and invite her out, the OP then said "This post is not about getting over it and being the guy. I wanna know what kind of behavior is this. and plus I couldn't find anything with search so I created this post.", and the responder said: You don't need to know why. You just need to keep moving things forward. You're focusing on a girl texting you first rather than progressing things forward. I don't see the point in that.

Some girls send messages, some just don't. There's nothing to it.

You're the man, it's on you to lead things anyway.

it means she has a vagina

many girls don't initiate, even if they like u a lot. its ur job to push stuff fwd. who cares if she initiates. thats irrelevant. call her and get her out"

Ya, and why should a guy not hate or detest having to take the lead, being the leader? why should I embrace and enjoy this gender role?

 

[HellAtlantic]

The same way you would feel weird, maybe even detest it, if she held the door open for you all the time, ordered your meals for you and paid for the bill on dates all the time, and made you sit on her lap. Those aren't female qualities and aren't qualities that men look for in a woman. Conversely females are looking for dominant leaders in men. It's why action movies are made with lead characters who are strong, confident and fearless types and not whimpy and frail men with soft voices. You have to exude manly traits the same way you expect your woman to act like a woman. They want men who will initiate and lead. That's science and evolution. The caveman who hunted dinosaurs and walked up to a woman and clubbed her over the head and dragged her by her hair was the caveman who got the girl. The caveman who stood on the sidelines picking berries from plants didn't get the girl. Embrace it and make the necessary changes in your life to succeed at it. Good luck bro!

 

[JaegerBeta92]

The same way you would feel weird, maybe even detest it, if she held the door open for you all the time, ordered your meals for you and paid for the bill on dates all the time, and made you sit on her lap. Those aren't female qualities and aren't qualities that men look for in a woman. Conversely females are looking for dominant leaders in men. It's why action movies are made with lead characters who are strong, confident and fearless types and not whimpy and frail men with soft voices. You have to exude manly traits the same way you expect your woman to act like a woman. They want men who will initiate and lead. That's science and evolution. The caveman who hunted dinosaurs and walked up to a woman and clubbed her over the head and dragged her by her hair was the caveman who got the girl. The caveman who stood on the sidelines picking berries from plants didn't get the girl. Embrace it and make the necessary changes in your life to succeed at it. Good luck bro!

same thing with always having to be the one to approach and start conversations, initiate conversations? be the one to ask out and plan, set up the dates? I know i'm not alone in this, I sometimes follow Tripp Advice, and he even said this in one of his e-mail newsletters:

"It’s tough to be a guy.
Why do we have to be the ones who ask the girls out, right? Why can’t it be the other way around?...
Damn you society… and damn your bizarre social norms..."

This video right here says it all:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91SlnIVDFso

 

[JaegerBeta92]

it's just a matter of accepting that women are passive creatures, whether we like it or not

 

[Chase]

What’s the benefit to a woman if she leads?

Women tend to take the lead when doing so is beneficial to them.

However, in women’s case, most of the time the benefits lie on the side of waiting for someone else to take the lead instead.

Chase

 

[JaegerBeta92]

ya the fact that i have to lead, take the lead, makes me hate being born male at times.