What creates urgency in her to sleep with you faster?

[Jan]

I have had few encounters recently when things went pretty well, however chicks were deliberaly slowing things down.

OR - Two identical scenarios: "I don't know you long enough"

I had two very similar scenarios, both originating from a bar pickup. Both of them were there with a friend. We had a cool conversation but they left kind of early and they gave me their phone number. We texted and set a date. In both of these situations, the girls were kind of in a rush. Not...

www.skilledseducer.com

I also recall few situations from the past, when urgency helped me to seal the deal with hot chicks real fast, because we both had a sense of urgency - I was travelling and was about to leave town next day.

But how do you create a sense of urgency to have sex with you fast when you are meeting her in your city or she also lives there? I know you can tell her that you are leaving town soon, tried that, and it didn't work. Maybe I wasn't congruent, or something, but I'm sure there is a better way.

 

[Chase]

@Jan,

But how do you create a sense of urgency to have sex with you fast when you are meeting her in your city or she also lives there?

Here's an incomplete list:

• Exit the interaction with her once or twice on low points so she knows/worries you might exit it again, esp. if you lose interest
  
  
• Create a jealousy plot line where she sees another girl is also trying to bag you that night (shotgun opening + preselection is often enough to create this on its own)
  
  
• Tell her about a 'friend' you went out with the other day and make it clear the friend is female and is angling for you
  
  
• Tell her it's so nice being single, that you usually do not stay single for long/girls are always snapping you up into relationships
  
  
• Wear a wedding ring so she believes your time is short and that sex is likely the only thing on the table with you

Chase

 

[gameboy]

 

[Jan]

@Chase Thanks a lot for the list. Looks real good.

It looks like 'fear of loss' is the the common denominator. Some people are more concerned about losing something than winning something.

So it seems like sense of urgency is the state when she feels an impulse to act now because of the fear that if she doesn't she will lose something valuable (you).

It seems like urgency is also connected with the concept of 'being willing to walk away". Knowing what you want and being willing to stick to what you want, or otherwise walk away, can be a strong foundation to apply urgency. Without this foundation, the other points may seem fake, if you know it's just a play and can't back it up with action and consequences of the action.

These days, it's much easier for me to walk away from an unfavorable situation (when she wants to slow things down), because I had many experiences when I agreed to her frame, and majority of these situations led to nothing. Just time wasting, texting back and forth.

The whole process of walking away actually became much less personal. I realized that it's not so much about me or her, as more as putting two us into unfavorable situation, when the likelihood of us getting together is going down.

I can now say: "Hey, you are a lovely girl, but what you are proposing never worked for me. I've agreed to this type of arrrangement before, and it led to nothing. No intimacy, no relationship. It was always just a waste of time. I appreciate your idea, but I just know it doesn't work for me this way. Sorry."

 

[Jan]

In sales, urgency can also be created by controlling pricing. You can set pricing based on time. You can do it either by communicating that you are going to increase price in the future, or that you are going to expire the discount on the price. In both situations - lower price now, higher price later.

I saw the first tactics applied by this guy who is selling online courses. He set a fairly low price initially but also set a timeline for this initial price. After the future date is reached the price increases.

This scheme works. I bought the course early. It was a fair price for me, and I knew that the course is good, I knew I wanted the course. But it was the pricing scheme which made me make a decision really. If it wasn't for the scheme, maybe I wouldn't have bought it, because I would have just said to myself - well, I want the course, but since I can as easily buy it later, I will just wait.

The same scheme is used by conference organizers. You can buy 'early bird' tickets at lower price and the price increases with time. The nearer to the event, the higher the price. When it comes to conferences, this is even more effective because you know that if you don't buy the ticket, you will definitely miss the conference.

This is not the case with the courses because once the course is produced, it's near zero cost for the seller to make a copy and sell it. There is obviously marketing and sales costs, but I assume this is less comparing to the cost of creating the course. There is also the sudden costs fallacy, when the seller is invested in selling the course because of the investment he made to produce it.

Therefore, you expect that either the seller will repeat the same scheme in the future, or at the worst, he will sell it regular price again. You expect that because you know that for him is a zero cost, so why not?

I'm trying to apply this analogy to seduction. What is the price for her? How can we make it lower price now, and higher price later? How can we communicate to her that this is really one time offer, and that she won't have a second chance if she doesn't act now.

 

[Skills]

Aroused physical or verbal aja second gen. Are design to Make target sleep faster with you... You can try also to set up frames pre meet, so in meet sex is implied via text or phone...

 

[Skills]

@Chase Thanks a lot for the list. Looks real good.

It looks like 'fear of loss' is the the common denominator. Some people are more concerned about losing something than winning something.

So it seems like sense of urgency is the state when she feels an impulse to act now because of the fear that if she doesn't she will lose something valuable (you).

It seems like urgency is also connected with the concept of 'being willing to walk away". Knowing what you want and being willing to stick to what you want, or otherwise walk away, can be a strong foundation to apply urgency. Without this foundation, the other points may seem fake, if you know it's just a play and can't back it up with action and consequences of the action.

These days, it's much easier for me to walk away from an unfavorable situation (when she wants to slow things down), because I had many experiences when I agreed to her frame, and majority of these situations led to nothing. Just time wasting, texting back and forth.

The whole process of walking away actually became much less personal. I realized that it's not so much about me or her, as more as putting two us into unfavorable situation, when the likelihood of us getting together is going down.

I can now say: "Hey, you are a lovely girl, but what you are proposing never worked for me. I've agreed to this type of arrrangement before, and it led to nothing. No intimacy, no relationship. It was always just a waste of time. I appreciate your idea, but I just know it doesn't work for me this way. Sorry."

I personally don't think this gun to your head taxes are that optimal, i rather get a girl to have a wet pussy and drooling mouth and she is the one that wants to have the sex with me... Jan i am trying for you to change the way you are going about viewing things ... Is not a same a boiler room sales dude that some type of lead funnel, get me?

 

[DarkKnight]

This chick who likes me and is uncompliant... I used jealousy preselection with another girl who likes me to snap her out of it. The entire aloofness dissipated and she was on high alert... am going to see her soon, I am really curious if it will help or push her into low attainability.. I really liked this broad and I know she liked me but she also started playing games becaise she indeed assumed I will be around.

This topic is really important about broads hitting the brakes.. kind of underrated subject

 

[Jan]

Jan i am trying for you to change the way you are going about viewing things

I appreciate that, and I agree with you about the 2nd gen verbals, however...

I don't think it's THIS OR THAT.

I don't think it's 2nd gen verbals OR urgency (fear of loss) tech.

These are different technique which work for different types of people.

The main difference is about PSYCHOLOGICAL REINFORCEMENT.

There are two types of reinforcements:

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT AND NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT

Positive reinforcement is: "Do this to get pleasure."
Negative reinforcement is "Do this to avoid pain (of not getting pleasure)."

2nd gen verbals and arousal techniques (physical escalation, non-verbals, etc) are all examples of positive reinforcements, designed to make her wet, and make take action for to get pleasure.

They obviously work for chicks who are motivated by imagined pleasure. But not everyone is like that. Another group of people is more motivated to do something if they imagine negative consequences. I'm like this. If I don't have a tight deadline, or I know that if I don't do something, some bad thing will happen, you can paint extraordinary pictures of success and not of, but I'm not gonna do anything. Just procrastinate.

I've tried 2nd gen verbals many times, and it very rarely worked for me. Yeah, maybe it's a matter of poor delivery, lack of experience with it, etc.

But there are also these types of girls I met who are very NO NO to any type of sex talk involved. They get very defensive, and they want to switch the topic immediately, and the more persistent with the sex talk I become, the more defensive they get.

Will it work if I become master at it, maybe, but I'm trying to explore different possibilities than sex talk.

Listen, the analogy to business or sales funnels maybe it's unfortunate on my side, but my intention was to stimulate the discussion about the underlying psychology of negative reinforcement, not to encourage anyone to think about seduction purely as a sales funnel. Even though, many people treat it this way on the forum, what is seduction process if not a type of sales/persuation funnel?

This topic is really important about broads hitting the brakes.. kind of underrated subject

Thanks man. I also think it's underrated. Hopefully, we get some traction here on this thread.

 

[Skills]

I appreciate that, and I agree with you about the 2nd gen verbals, however...

I don't think it's THIS OR THAT.

I don't think it's 2nd gen verbals OR urgency (fear of loss) tech.

These are different technique which work for different types of people.

The main difference is about PSYCHOLOGICAL REINFORCEMENT.

There are two types of reinforcements:

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT AND NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT

Positive reinforcement is: "Do this to get pleasure."
Negative reinforcement is "Do this to avoid pain (of not getting pleasure)."

2nd gen verbals and arousal techniques (physical escalation, non-verbals, etc) are all examples of positive reinforcements, designed to make her wet, and make take action for to get pleasure.

They obviously work for chicks who are motivated by imagined pleasure. But not everyone is like that. Another group of people is more motivated to do something if they imagine negative consequences. I'm like this. If I don't have a tight deadline, or I know that if I don't do something, some bad thing will happen, you can paint extraordinary pictures of success and not of, but I'm not gonna do anything. Just procrastinate.

I've tried 2nd gen verbals many times, and it very rarely worked for me. Yeah, maybe it's a matter of poor delivery, lack of experience with it, etc.

But there are also these types of girls I met who are very NO NO to any type of sex talk involved. They get very defensive, and they want to switch the topic immediately, and the more persistent with the sex talk I become, the more defensive they get.

Will it work if I become master at it, maybe, but I'm trying to explore different possibilities than sex talk.

Listen, the analogy to business or sales funnels maybe it's unfortunate on my side, but my intention was to stimulate the discussion about the underlying psychology of negative reinforcement, not to encourage anyone to think about seduction purely as a sales funnel. Even though, many people treat it this way on the forum, what is seduction process if not a type of sales/persuation funnel?


Thanks man. I also think it's underrated. Hopefully, we get some traction here on this thread.

Jan i read your link on your 2 encounters that you lost... I am trying to make the point that positive reinforcement, and no i am not talking about dtfs or greens... I am talking yellowish just like the girls in your.2 encounters... Notice per your link you don't have any idea why they left... You are assuming boyfriends which I personally doubt... It is easier to bed women from a they want to do it perspective than doing the negative complience i mentioned 2 seduction techniques... But if you want a negative re inforcement one is the withdrawal of attention take away, but is just imho sub par... Now that take away with new gen is more used kind of a shit test when a girl will denie sex to see if you will get angry, mad and lose your shit.. even in there just being chill like nah we don't need this to happen sub or verbal will pass it right away... I also have something that works with those pain in the ass yellowish towards no... But again higher odds the positive re inforcement... The old school take aways mm is just inferior in my experience with this gen and really not needed to be honest... Thos is the closest I go to negative reinforcement:

Transitions - Back to physical game: Reinforcement of NO SEXUAL act while physical/verbally escalating....

It seems that the community went through a face of verbal game, then we went through a phase of physical game, then some of the guys from nextasf brought back verbal game with the second generation stuff.... The problem is it seems that most of the guys for what i notice in the forum have...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Jan]

@Skills I like the idea of escalating and verbally agreeing with her that sex is not gonna happen. I've done this several times in the past with good success. What I took from your post is to be consistent with that during the date - repeat this several times during the escalation, even up to the almost final stage when you are rubbing her pussy with your dick. And still keep telling her that sex is not gonna happen. Hilarious

Usually, I did this sparsely - once or twice during the date. However, it seems from your post that it can be done consistently. Which makes sense - if it works, keep doing it. Thanks for that.

Yesterday, I went out to my friend's party. I met this 20 years old ex-stripper, OF chick. And the usual story repeated. Almost exact like the previous two. The only difference was that this chick told me she is dating/or is in a relationship with this Portugese dude, who is out of town currently. That was her excuse to resist my escalation. She kept repeating that she really, really enjoy talking to me, and that the conversation is very stimulating and valuable to her. She gave me her phone number, showed me her photos in lingerie, told me everything about her past (her stripping days, etc). But still resisting the pull. She was mildly compliant with physical escalation (I was probably not persistent with it though). She would let me touch her back and her thighs but she would run to bathroom or tell me that she can't do it because of this guy, everytime I tried to escalate harder. Whether the boyfriend was real or not, I don't know.

Btw,

You are assuming boyfriends which I personally doubt...

regarding this. One of the chicks from the previous report actually told me that she has someone. She said that they are in the breakout phase, but it takes time because they have things to sort out. She was very avoidant when I tried to get more details about him. Very, very avoidant. It took her secooonds to even come with any details, or just refuse to say anything. Which made me suspicious. Why is that she is not willing to share more? Is it all a lie, or is she ashamed of something?

Yesterday, I tried a light version of 2nd gen verbals. It was not really a full version as you describe. There were 4 of us, me the girl from the story and two other chicks, chatting outdoors. We were discussing sexuality, so I didn't really have to transition to the topic, one of the chicks came with it on her own. I told them 8 orgasms routine, which stimulated a further discussion about sexuality, but it didn't seem to have any effect on my girl.

 

[Skills]

@Skills I like the idea of escalating and verbally agreeing with her that sex is not gonna happen. I've done this several times in the past with good success. What I took from your post is to be consistent with that during the date - repeat this several times during the escalation, even up to the almost final stage when you are rubbing her pussy with your dick. And still keep telling her that sex is not gonna happen. Hilarious

Usually, I did this sparsely - once or twice during the date. However, it seems from your post that it can be done consistently. Which makes sense - if it works, keep doing it. Thanks for that.

Yesterday, I went out to my friend's party. I met this 20 years old ex-stripper, OF chick. And the usual story repeated. Almost exact like the previous two. The only difference was that this chick told me she is dating/or is in a relationship with this Portugese dude, who is out of town currently. That was her excuse to resist my escalation. She kept repeating that she really, really enjoy talking to me, and that the conversation is very stimulating and valuable to her. She gave me her phone number, showed me her photos in lingerie, told me everything about her past (her stripping days, etc). But still resisting the pull. She was mildly compliant with physical escalation (I was probably not persistent with it though). She would let me touch her back and her thighs but she would run to bathroom or tell me that she can't do it because of this guy, everytime I tried to escalate harder. Whether the boyfriend was real or not, I don't know.

Btw,

regarding this. One of the chicks from the previous report actually told me that she has someone. She said that they are in the breakout phase, but it takes time because they have things to sort out. She was very avoidant when I tried to get more details about him. Very, very avoidant. It took her secooonds to even come with any details, or just refuse to say anything. Which made me suspicious. Why is that she is not willing to share more? Is it all a lie, or is she ashamed of something?

Yesterday, I tried a light version of 2nd gen verbals. It was not really a full version as you describe. There were 4 of us, me the girl from the story and two other chicks, chatting outdoors. We were discussing sexuality, so I didn't really have to transition to the topic, one of the chicks came with it on her own. I told them 8 orgasms routine, which stimulated a further discussion about sexuality, but it didn't seem to have any effect on my girl.

There are ways to address girls with boyfriends and girls just out of relationships, both require a different way to go about seducing them... I will post links that apply to both:

for girls out of relationships(all of that is field testing due to privacy can't go into or post the things on main forum):

how to seduce emotionally vulnerable girls

I have been able to seduce a lot of emotionally vulnerable girls.... There was one in particular that i was like wowow, how i did this (lay report is in nextasf, tldr i made out i told boyfriend cause I thought she snitch on me, but she did not (bf i kind of knew, if i find it will post here...

www.skilledseducer.com

for girls with boyfriends, you need to make sure to screen what it is and game accordingly:

The 3 "I have a boyfriend" scenarios

1.- She really has a boyfriend and will not cheat.- This is a girl that has a boyfriend and is really happy and invested with the boyfriend, she is not really going to cheat on him ever or will not cheat (at least in this stage of a relationship, some women can cheat at final stages of a bad...

www.skilledseducer.com

@Jan you have tons of potential, i just don't want you to:

- reach faulty conclusions
-look for solutions based on faulty conclusions
-causation correlation epidemic, huge on seduction boards...

 

[Jan]

Hi @Skills

I've read the two posts, and now I'm actually little confused.

I thought that my recent problems are due to the fact that I'm not moving fast enough. But the posts suggest that I should actually move slowler - play long game

 

[KJ Francis]

Hi @Skills

I've read the two posts, and now I'm actually little confused.

I thought that my recent problems are due to the fact that I'm not moving fast enough. But the posts suggest that I should actually move slowler - play long game

I think moving fast with girls is more about hitting the escalation windows that she opens, more in a response to guys waiting three dates to make a move, not showing enough sexual intent, etc. Moving a little slower is ok if you are mirroring her interest level, or if there are complications in her situation, it's pacing her reality. Do not listen to me though... My last LR took 15 months haha.

For urgency, I like your question. I think using the VAC model of attraction, you want fast compliance, so you need sky-high lover value (though that's always a given... And the arousal component). So as an attainability question, just riffing here, but in this case, maybe you'd want clear and simple lover value that is attainable (so non-needy intent, with very low attainability for provider value). But she would need to perceive future attainability as reducing over time, right?

So if you don't want to use gun-to-head tactics, you still need to display risk of "coming off the market" and instill some level of fear of loss, right? Chase's points seem to be about risk of another buyer getting you from under her. Sounds like real estate, so maybe be like a rare awesome house listing in a great area at a price most people can afford.

Maybe this is why Alek landed on sex talk gambits. It displays lover value and implied past preselection far beyond average, and is presented in a way that is attainable, but not at all in a way that is forcing the sale. You may not jump on putting an offer on a house because of real estate agent tactics, but you might because it's simply an awesome house that everyone else on the market will obviously want. You simply know it won't last long on the market and will be getting other offers regardless.

I rent month to month right now so I don't know much about real estate either haha. Good question.

 

[KJ Francis]

Also maybe the gambit had no visible effect because two other girls were present. Talking openly about sex in a nonjudgemental way is one thing, but she still may not display any urgency to obtain it in front of other people. Just a guess.

 

[Jan]

So if you don't want to use gun-to-head tactics, you still need to display risk of "coming off the market" and instill some level of fear of loss, right? Chase's points seem to be about risk of another buyer getting you from under her. Sounds like real estate, so maybe be like a rare awesome house listing in a great area at a price most people can afford.

I like the real estate analogy. And 'coming off the market' phrasing.

You know what, I'm starting to think that urgency or fear of loss are actually about compliance, not about value or attainability.

If we compare business/real estate with VAC model, it would be something like this:

House value = Seducer value
House affordability = Attainability
House availability (is it coming of the market, or no risk of someone else taking it) = Compliance

Chase's points seem to be about risk of another buyer getting you from under her.

That's right. You can imagine there is a nice house, it's in the price you can afford, but you also know there is a great demand for the house. Other people visiting it, the real estate agent receiving calls asking for it. You like the house (value), you can afford the house (attainability) AND you know that you need to make a decision FAST, otherwise someone else will get it first (compliance).

I'm coming to the conclusion that in the context of seduction, urgency is mostly created by social proof/pre-selection. It's created by her seeing other chicks interested in you, creating this fear that they maybe just faster than her.

It's not enough that she likes you, it's not enough that she perceives you as someone she can get, she also has to be "motivated" to make a decision quick.

If she is not afraid that she may lose you, if she is not thinking about other chicks trying to snatch you, she will be thinking about either about the value aspect (examining you more thoroughly, shit-testing you) or she will be thinking about the attainability aspect (slowing things down, get to know you better, to reduce a risk of hit to her self-esteem).

I think if you create urgency, you need to have a good enough value and good enough attainability. If you don't create urgency, she will be asking for more and more value, or more attainability (kind of trying to negotiate price down).

 

[Jan]

In practical sense I can imagine this could work something like that.

It was Friday night, I met this girl in a bar, she was attracted to me, I isolated her, she wanted to spend time with me, I wanted to spend time with her. Value and attainability was there. I'm talking about the OF girl from the previous post. However, she didn't want to go home with me (not enough compliance). I think I could have done two things:

URGENCY 1 - LACK OF TIME ON MY SIDE

Tell her that I'm very busy (kudos to @Chase , for the idea of 'time poor huster's mentality').

disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend

Just read the article about disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend. I can understand that some of the single moms or 26-year-old girls who gave me a hard time screening me on a date would feel relaxed and just have sex with me, but I have a hard time imagining that a 21-year-old Angelic girl who...

www.skilledseducer.com

ME: "How do you like to spend your evenings?"
HER: "You know, normal stuff, hanging out with friends, going out, watch some good movie. How about you?"
ME: "Ah, sweet pleasures of life, haha. I also love doing these things! Unfortunately, I've been so busy last few months, really focused on my career, pushing things forward. My life's been mostly hustling day and night, and I almost forgot that spending light time with others, just chatting and enjoying can be so much fun, haha."
HER: "Haha, I see. But why don't you take a break and just enjoy yourself more often?"

Basically, the conclusion in her mind should be:
- I really like her, enjoy spending time with her, and we are NOW in this rare situation that I actually have some free time on hand to hang out (the house is on the market, but not for long)
- since I'm very busy, it's gonna be very difficult to find time for another slow date. Of course I would like to date her because I like her so much, but the problem is busy schedule (external obstacle).

URGENCY 2 - COMPETITION

ME: "I'm taking a break today! Initial plan was to go for a date, but she had to go back home for the weekend. Some family issue, I don't know. Anyways, I'm glad that I'm here. I met you and I'm having a good time."
HER: "Yeah, I'm having good time too. So this girl you were supposed to me, is she is your girlfriend?"
ME: "No, I wouldn't say so. We met like a week or two ago. We've gone on a date and things are moving fast, but we are not in a relationship yet. We are both busy, so we don't really have time to meet that often, but luckily things are getting intimate fast. If you don't meet that often, that's the way to keep the fire on, haha."
HER: "I like to take things slower, have time to meet each other better before getting intimate."
ME: "Me too, I did this a lot when I was younger, kind of teenage vibes, no worries, plenty of time on hand, just enjoying the romance in it's natural pace."
HER: "Yeah, I love that."
ME: "Unfortunately, this stage of life has passed for me. With almost zero time on hand, taking things slow means that things are dying for me. If the fire is small and burning slowly you have to add emotions more often. I tried this, trust me. It never led to anything. The fire just die down. Sad."
HER: "That's sad indeed. So these days you prefer to make things intense faster so the fire doesn't die?"
ME: "Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna see this girl when she returns, some day at the begining of next week. We will see."

At this point, she should be aware that she can lose me if she is not gonna take intense action today.

I'm gonna field test this week, and see it works

 

[topcat]

They obviously work for chicks who are motivated by imagined pleasure. But not everyone is like that. Another group of people is more motivated to do something if they imagine negative consequences. I'm like this. If I don't have a tight deadline, or I know that if I don't do something, some bad thing will happen, you can paint extraordinary pictures of success and not of, but I'm not gonna do anything. Just procrastinate.

You’re barking up the wrong tree. It’s adjacent, but still not the right one..

To engender urgency, what is that “thing” that she should fear losing?

To bring back your sales analogy, the thing a prospective customer fears losing is the imagined or assumed benefits of the product in question.

To sleep with you quickly, a woman must feel like she risks losing a good shag with you if she doesn’t act quickly.

What makes her think you’ll be a good shag?

The way you touched her leg. The way you look at her, that reminds her of the last good lay she had.

The tingle in her pussy she feels being in your presence.

What causes that?

As @Skills said, second gen, sexual frames and physical stimulation.

Girls aren’t going to feel urgency to fuck you, if they don’t feel the urge to fuck you in the first place.

Focus on creating those urges, and removing obstacles to fulfill them.

They’ll hop into bed quickly as a result.

 

[topcat]

In practical sense I can imagine this could work something like that.

It was Friday night, I met this girl in a bar, she was attracted to me, I isolated her, she wanted to spend time with me, I wanted to spend time with her. Value and attainability was there. I'm talking about the OF girl from the previous post. However, she didn't want to go home with me (not enough compliance). I think I could have done two things:

URGENCY 1 - LACK OF TIME ON MY SIDE

Tell her that I'm very busy (kudos to @Chase , for the idea of 'time poor huster's mentality').

disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend

Just read the article about disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend. I can understand that some of the single moms or 26-year-old girls who gave me a hard time screening me on a date would feel relaxed and just have sex with me, but I have a hard time imagining that a 21-year-old Angelic girl who...

www.skilledseducer.com

ME: "How do you like to spend your evenings?"
HER: "You know, normal stuff, hanging out with friends, going out, watch some good movie. How about you?"
ME: "Ah, sweet pleasures of life, haha. I also love doing these things! Unfortunately, I've been so busy last few months, really focused on my career, pushing things forward. My life's been mostly hustling day and night, and I almost forgot that spending light time with others, just chatting and enjoying can be so much fun, haha."
HER: "Haha, I see. But why don't you take a break and just enjoy yourself more often?"

Basically, the conclusion in her mind should be:
- I really like her, enjoy spending time with her, and we are NOW in this rare situation that I actually have some free time on hand to hang out (the house is on the market, but not for long)
- since I'm very busy, it's gonna be very difficult to find time for another slow date. Of course I would like to date her because I like her so much, but the problem is busy schedule (external obstacle).

URGENCY 2 - COMPETITION

ME: "I'm taking a break today! Initial plan was to go for a date, but she had to go back home for the weekend. Some family issue, I don't know. Anyways, I'm glad that I'm here. I met you and I'm having a good time."
HER: "Yeah, I'm having good time too. So this girl you were supposed to me, is she is your girlfriend?"
ME: "No, I wouldn't say so. We met like a week or two ago. We've gone on a date and things are moving fast, but we are not in a relationship yet. We are both busy, so we don't really have time to meet that often, but luckily things are getting intimate fast. If you don't meet that often, that's the way to keep the fire on, haha."
HER: "I like to take things slower, have time to meet each other better before getting intimate."
ME: "Me too, I did this a lot when I was younger, kind of teenage vibes, no worries, plenty of time on hand, just enjoying the romance in it's natural pace."
HER: "Yeah, I love that."
ME: "Unfortunately, this stage of life has passed for me. With almost zero time on hand, taking things slow means that things are dying for me. If the fire is small and burning slowly you have to add emotions more often. I tried this, trust me. It never led to anything. The fire just die down. Sad."
HER: "That's sad indeed. So these days you prefer to make things intense faster so the fire doesn't die?"
ME: "Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna see this girl when she returns, some day at the begining of next week. We will see."

At this point, she should be aware that she can lose me if she is not gonna take intense action today.

I'm gonna field test this week, and see it works

Again, where’s the sexual stimulation in this?

That’s the glaring thing missing here.

I don’t see much in these convos that make girls horny..

 

[Jan]

@topcat I'm not saying that the sexual stimulation/sexual frames/sex talk are not important. I understand that they are part of seeing my sexual value in her mind/body. And I did all of it. Not with this particular gambit but with other things.

With the OF girl I mentioned previously, the situation was like this.

We were sitting on the upper floor of that bar. Isolated. We sat next to each other, our legs were crossing and occasionally touching. I was touching her thighs. I was sitting face to face and I was looking in her eyes and smirking. I told her about the silent date idea and how it's great because it raises the tension fast. When we had a break from isolation, we were in a group of 4, we discussed sexuality and I delivered the 8 orgasms gambit. I also delivered a being present, in the moment gambit. Similar to James described in his latest lay report.

I really don't see how much more I could have done apart from kissing her. Which I usually try to avoid in public places and do it in the private location.

I'm not great at sex talk but I'm great at non-verbal, physical escalation. If I'm in a private location with a girl and she is open to sexual touch, it's like 90-95% likelihood of sex. BUT... it only works if she is sexually open at that moment. Only works if she is open to touch and to talk to sex. Sometimes I meet girls who just don't want to go this route, don't want to discuss anything sex related, etc. It's not necessarily that they are closed to these things. But they are closed in the moment. They want to wait.

Again, where’s the sexual stimulation in this?

There is no sexual stimulation in this gambit, because this gambit is not about sexual stimulation. I'm physically attractive dude and I have a very good non-verbals, touch, etc. Put simply, I stimulate her sexually in different ways and I'm not trying to make her horny with this. I'm trying to make her fear that she may lose the opportunity to get intimate/relationship with me, if she stays closed and don't comply. That's it.