What do I try to get this girl to do with me?

[randomguy125612]

*****Please read entire post*****

I went to a lecture for a class I don't even have today to try to get a girls number and it worked, sat next to a cutie, same year as me, really fun and easy to talk to, got her number halfway through our conversation (said "we should hang out sometime), smoothly kept it going from there and only stopped when the professor started talking
Said bye "her name" she said "later my name"

3ish hours later I texted her "Hey X! Glad I ran into you today -myname"
Within a few minutes she went "Me too! Thanks for putting your name haha"

We get along really great, I'm going to text her again tomorrow, and I'm going to try to fuck her on our first outing


We both go to an urban university in a city, I still live with my parents off campus so my place is a no go (plus its too far away), I don't know where she lives, either in a dorm or in an apartment or something
Its common for students here to eat in the dining hall, anyone who lives in the dorms get to eat for free, as for anyone who doesn't (lives in an apartment or something), the price of admission is 10 bucks which is about the same for an average low end price range place anyways so its not breaking the bank

I know its common for students to hang out in each others dorms, guys do it all the time, and I think guys and girls do it too

Should I ask her about getting dining hall with me (at night time) and then try to move her to her place, or should I outright ask to hang at her place from the start (during texting)?

Also should I try to say we will drink or smoke at her place? If its a dorm smoking is out of the question as its easy to get caught by cops, so we could just drink
If its not a dorm we can do either one but girls who smoke love it if you do too



So what exactly should I say?

"Hey X! Thinking we need to get together sometime soon, how's your schedule looking? (looking this week?)"
"Oh 2asfuh292215asf9 I'm free X time"
"Cool, where are you staying?"
"I'm at X"
"Do you smoke?" (If not at a dorm) (If she smokes) Lets get lit at your place
If at dorm : Let's watch X (help me think of something) and share a bottle of wine"





Thoughts? Stuff to add/remove/edit?

General tips?


Last time I went to a girls place (only time) I met her at a house show, we hit it off, she wanted to go to her place with her friend(girl) to smoke with me but her friend bailed so she drove her home, she texted me same night, we talked for a while, next day I asked when she got off work and she said she was skipping and invited me over, we drank, smoke, went to her room, I fucked up when I got last minute resistance and tried too hard combined with finally backing off afterwards, instead of being calm and unfazed, and following the tricks like putting her hand on my dick and spending more time making out and shit

How do I avoid a repeat of this?


Also I have a friend who has his own apartment that I'm really close with, I **MAY** be able to get him to let me use his place to try to fuck this girl while he leaves and goes and does something else, is bringing a girl to my own "place" always better than going to hers? If so, should I try to get him to let me?

And if its better and I get him to agree, how should I go about getting her to come over?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Random,

Don't over complicate it...

I would avoid asking her if she smokes over text. There's no point really. Use texting to set up a coffee or bite to eat and then when it goes well you go for a nightcap and smoke/drink then. You can figure out if she smokes when you're on the date.

You just need to figure out in your mind before you set up a date with her what logistics you want to plan on and then stick to the plan.

Sounds like you have two options. A) Meet her at campus and pull to her place OR B) Have her meet you close to your buddies place and pull to his place.

Perhaps inquire as to what her living situation is somehow creatively over text. Make a joke about roommates and then ask her how messy her roommates are or something so you aren't overly overt.

Also if you have a car you can escalate there... everybody likes makeout point eh?

-Rob

 

[randomguy125612]

Random,

Don't over complicate it...

I would avoid asking her if she smokes over text. There's no point really. Use texting to set up a coffee or bite to eat and then when it goes well you go for a nightcap and smoke/drink then. You can figure out if she smokes when you're on the date.

You just need to figure out in your mind before you set up a date with her what logistics you want to plan on and then stick to the plan.

Sounds like you have two options. A) Meet her at campus and pull to her place OR B) Have her meet you close to your buddies place and pull to his place.

Perhaps inquire as to what her living situation is somehow creatively over text. Make a joke about roommates and then ask her how messy her roommates are or something so you aren't overly overt.

Also if you have a car you can escalate there... everybody likes makeout point eh?

-Rob

What worries me about getting her to agree to grab dining hall food with me is that she might end up saying that she doesn't have any more time once it's done, or that her room mates will get in the way (if she is planning on hanging out with me in her place she can make sure she is free to do it and can make sure her room mates wont be there), whereas if I spring it on her while we are eating she may not have planned on doing anything beyond eating so may not actually have time (maybe she has a bunch of work or maybe her roomates are home right now and she can't really tell them to get out just out of nowhere)
One positive though is that the dining hall is literally like **RIGHT** next to the dorms, like its a 1 or 2 min walk from the dining hall so the logistics are perfect if her room mates will just not be there
If she is in her own place it wont be as close but none of the places are too far from the dining hall, honestly its just the possibility of other people being there that's a problem

At the same time I worry about asking her to hang at her place outright to start with because I'm worried I'll come on too strong

And I do have a car but I dunno what I would do with it, it seems kind of weird to ask her to go driving with me and I don't know where I would take her, I know its possible to escalate to sex in cars but I don't know if I'm skilled enough for that yet, there's no TV as an excuse, no comfy couch or bed, no readily available food, its just you and her




***edit***
I just thought of something, at my school people who are on the meal plan not only get free dining hall food, but certain stores accept the dining hall "swipes" too, one of them does easy take out
What if I try to combine eating together and hanging at her place, by suggesting we get take out and eat it at her place? This looks like it would take the edge off of suggesting we be at her place (Because we're just eating =) ), this food place is cheap if she is in her own place and free if she is in a dorm, its close to everything, and it would cause her to make time to hang at her place and make sure no one else is there?

How does this sound?


"X, hey! Let's figure out a time to hang, how’s this week looking for you?"

"12asf4qdfswqaswt5 I'm free at X time"



Cool, how's about we get some X take out and hang at your place?"


**Another edit**
Oh shit
I just realized

Earlier today she was talking about how much she loves some show, and how she watches it on netflix
I could easily go from us grabbing the food, to her place, eating and talking, and then be like "hey, what was that one show you just loved more than life itself?" (with a little bantering smirk) and she'll go "oh it was X haha" and I'll go "hey you said you got netflix right? lets watch it"

And the couch/bed is right there, we just ate, and I just seemlessly moved to netflix and chilling without even ever saying "netflix and chill"

 

[randomguy125612]

Thoughts on hand holding her on the way from the food place to her place? (We would meet at the food place)

 

[Mr.Rob]

Random,

Why not meet up with her and figure out her situation from there instead of guessing?

Grab a coffee and figure out her situation. If it looks promising propose the takeout and netflix idea. If it sounds unpromising grab a quick bite to eat and gage her interest level. If she's attracted as far as you can tell go for a car ride and try to make something happen in the car.

Worst case scenario you don't hook up and meet her for a 2nd date and seal the deal then.

-Rob

 

[Raqimus]

Robs idea is good you can go with that, I however would do things differently; I am more of a risk everything when it comes to girls. I would try to figure out logistics over text and then go from there. Text a bit and find out her situation, say something like "where are you stuck at? or where did they throw you on campus". If she is she'll say oh im at x or im not on campus. For college i don't believe you have to take girls on dates, I would go for an informal hangout. You can grab some food at the dinning hall or even see if she wants to hang and do some homework, maybe at her place. She'll get the message. But like I said it is risky.

 

[randomguy125612]

Robs idea is good you can go with that, I however would do things differently; I am more of a risk everything when it comes to girls. I would try to figure out logistics over text and then go from there. Text a bit and find out her situation, say something like "where are you stuck at? or where did they throw you on campus". If she is she'll say oh im at x or im not on campus. For college i don't believe you have to take girls on dates, I would go for an informal hangout. You can grab some food at the dinning hall or even see if she wants to hang and do some homework, maybe at her place. She'll get the message. But like I said it is risky.

I said "X, hey! Let's figure out a time to hang, how's your schedule looking this week?"
2 hours and 40 mins later she said

"Um I'm kinda busy Thursday but I think I'm free for a bit after my class on Friday around 2 I'm trying to knock out some work early in the semester before it gets out of control"

That "um" worries me

This is what I wanna say "No worries, let's grab some X take out and hang at your place, sound good?"

Other thing I've come up with is "No worries, let's grab some (dining hall food), sound good?"

 

[Raqimus]

It sounds like shes not 100% if your gonna try "No worries, let's grab some X take out and hang at your place, sound good" I would also add in something like blah blah at your place or we can do x, which do you prefer?" or "what works for your" something like that. Just to give her an out if she doesn't want to go through with it.

 

[randomguy125612]

It sounds like shes not 100% if your gonna try "No worries, let's grab some X take out and hang at your place, sound good" I would also add in something like blah blah at your place or we can do x, which do you prefer?" or "what works for your" something like that. Just to give her an out if she doesn't want to go through with it.

Well I ended up going with what I originally said and never got a response back
I have class with her tomorrow, I'm thinking of going in, being friendly and flirty, not even mentioning her not texting me back, and then asking her about getting dining hall food with me tomorrow (friday)
Thoughts?

Also, if I can't find her or I can't sit next to her because there is no room, then what should I text her?

Am I screwed by asking her what I did and not getting a response?

 

[Raqimus]

Go in and be friendly if you can, don't mention what you texted like you said but I wouldn't ask her out. I mean you just did, try again in a couple days maybe in person and do something low risk like getting food.

She was interested enough to give you her number and respond, maybe because your in the same class. Just take a step back.

Of you don't talk to her I wouldnt text her for the next couple of days id instead try to reinitiate in person and get something more concrete

 

[randomguy125612]

Go in and be friendly if you can, don't mention what you texted like you said but I wouldn't ask her out. I mean you just did, try again in a couple days maybe in person and do something low risk like getting food.

She was interested enough to give you her number and respond, maybe because your in the same class. Just take a step back.

Of you don't talk to her I wouldnt text her for the next couple of days id instead try to reinitiate in person and get something more concrete

Just woke up and got this from her
"Um I don't really feel comfortable with you coming to my place since we just met. Plus I realized I have a lot of work to do so maybe I'll take a rain check"

Do I say "No worries, how's about we just grab some food from the dining hall for like 20 minutes then you can keep working?"

Or do I show up to class and try to be all disarming and stuff like I talked about?

 

[Raqimus]

I'd go with the noworries stuff but i wouldn't push for the food, I'd just be friendly and try again another time

 

[randomguy125612]

I'd go with the noworries stuff but i wouldn't push for the food, I'd just be friendly and try again another time

Should I try to go with my talking to her in class route?

 

[randomguy125612]

So I texted "No worries!" and just left it at that

Went to class, talked to her, talked her into getting dining hall with me friday at 2

Should I play it safe and leave it at that? (I used "we'll be in and out in 20 minutes, plenty of time for you to do your work afterwards) as justification

Should I try to get her to agree to do something else afterwards like get frozen yogurt?

Should I try to move her to her place at somepoint at all in the date or just leave it?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Well done Randomguy,

You got her to agree to go out with you nonetheless.

As far as how to run the date goes.... You seem like you really want to have a set gameplan for what exactly to do when you're on the date ahead of time. I'm typically the same way as it does cut down on the mental load of having to figure things out during a date but some situations call for being able to feel out the situation during the interaction and choose from there.

You might have a bit of work cut out for you once you get on the date. Sounds like she's somewhat on the fence but willing to give you a shot due to your persistence.

I would go on the date and feel her out. Do your best to attract her (probably wouldn't hurt to be able to convey an outcome indpendent attitude) and if you're getting good signals from her keep building little compliance and take her back to her dorm. If you're not getting good signals from her (she's indifferent and not very compliant) then end the date on your terms and keep the date short (no longer than an hour).

If you end the date short I'd not pay her too much attention in class and ensure you're displaying attractive social qualities in class (i.e. social proof, dominance w/professor, and flirt with other girls in front of her face). This will ramp up attraction and get her to chase you. A long term strategy but one that has worked in my favor more than a few times.

Someone likely has another take on this but I think this is your best bet.

Good luck,

-Rob

 

[ProblemSolving]

Not much interest with this one. The fact that you had to "talk her into" meeting you for 20 minutes confirms her low interest. That's the tricky thing about arranging meet ups with girls from your social circle like work or school - she doesn't know if you're just being friendly or trying to fuck her. Arranging a quick lunch in between classes does nothing to signal that you're sexually interested. Furthermore, since you see each other regularly in class, she also can't be rude and simply ignore you if she's not interested.

There are a few ways you can subtly let her know that you're sexually interested and not just being friendly:

- ask her if she's single
- if you sit together during class, touch her and see how she responds
- if you grab lunch after class, touch her and see how she responds
- invite her to meet you in the evening after regular class hours

All of these things will let her know what you're after. Inviting her to grab drinks or coffee or whatever in the evening is really all that you need to see where this girl's interest lies. If she agrees, congratulations, she's interested. If shes doesn't agree, then she's not interested and it's time to find new girls.

 

[readjusting]

I think the quickest way to save a low-interest girl is to get investment/compliance from her.
When she invest into you, she will be more into you.
For example, a very low investment/compliance request is borrowing her pen.
Then you can up the investment/compliance request from there.
If she refuse to invest/comply, then honestly you should just move on.

 

[Average]

Hey Random. I think you moved a bit too fast when you asked her to go to her crib so soon. If the date is still happening then it would be best for you to just focus on building rapport and to spark attraction. Then after you feel her out, you'll judge whether she's horny for you or not. If not then reschedule the date for another day and feel free to try your luck then. If then she still acts as coy as she's acting now then it may be best to leave her (at your own judgement. Because there are several cases where it took a bit of time to lay the girl. If you stick it out you might get something out of her, but just know that it MIGHT be easier to just look for a new girl).

Common question, and the answer is...

PLAN ALL THE WAY TO THE END.

The entire last module of my Casanova Key course is about this topic, for this exact reason--many guys don't understand how to create a "seduction funnel" that's set up and ready to go BEFORE YOU EVER MET A NEW WOMAN.

When you have it all set up--the 3 necessary locations, how to transition from one to the next, and how to walk her through the whole thing in a way that's fun and smooth--then when you meet a new woman, all the hard thinking is already done and your ONLY JOB is to get her to the FIRST step in the funnel.

This is how you seduce many women on autopilot

Where will you ultimately have sex with her?

Where will you meet her before you move to that place?

How will you transition from one place to the next?

These are the questions to ask if you want to create a proper "seduction funnel" that will solve this problem for you forever

Yeah. Proper planning is gonna boost your confidence and help you relax and sort out all of these logistical information that need sorting out. The questions I saw you asking were pretty smart and would be easier to solve before the date rather than in the moment when you've also gotta worry about a whole bunch of stuff. Try to solve what you can without the girl on your own or through the board, but what you can't get past without her volition then either ask her before the date or during.

she doesn't know if you're just being friendly or trying to fuck her.

I wouldn't say that she's clueless though. She probably has some idea that YOU want to have sex with her. But she hasn't decided that SHE wants to have sex with you. Afterall, you did ask to come over to her crib. That's a big clue about what you want from her.

"Um I don't really feel comfortable with you coming to my place since we just met. Plus I realized I have a lot of work to do so maybe I'll take a rain check"

Which Is why I think you still got some rapport to build and some attraction to spark. All of the posts I've seen so far are pretty helpful with that. So I doubt I'll be of much use here. I just wanted to tell you that she IS fuckable because she said

"Um I don't really feel comfortable with you coming to my place since we just met".

She said that the only reason she won't bang you is because you just met! Rather than "we're just friends" or "I have a boyfriend". That's like saying "ok, we'll fuck. But not yet. Lemme get to know you first to make sure you're not a kidnapper or whatever".

Anyway, that's how I'd see it if somebody said that to me

 

[ProblemSolving]

Afterall, you did ask to come over to her crib. That's a big clue about what you want from her.

Yeah, NOW she knows. Once she knows the score, she's has to be "talked into" seeing him again.

She said that the only reason she won't bang you is because you just met! Rather than "we're just friends" or "I have a boyfriend". That's like saying "ok, we'll fuck. But not yet. Lemme get to know you first to make sure you're not a kidnapper or whatever".

If she was actually interested, arranging a meet up in the evening would be cinch.

She said that the only reason she won't bang you is because you just met! Rather than "we're just friends" or "I have a boyfriend". That's like saying "ok, we'll fuck. But not yet. Lemme get to know you first to make sure you're not a kidnapper or whatever".

Look, girls are usually pretty nice and try to avoid as much awkwardness and confrontation as possible. Since, they see each other regularly in class, she's got to be extra careful not to hurt a guy's feelings. If a girl is from your social circle, she can't just ignore you or tell you she's not interested when she's actually not interested, which is why you have to read between the lines.

 

[Average]

Ok. Good point of views there. I looked at the interaction as well but I came up with a different conclusion:

If she was actually interested, arranging a meet up in the evening would be cinch.

I thought that her being talked into it was just her anti slut defence going into action since remember, she knows he has sexual intentions and doesn't want to be deemed slutty. Which was the reason why I think she halted the date the first time (or she legitimately was busy, but I'm looking at worst case scenario).

Look, girls are usually pretty nice and try to avoid as much awkwardness and confrontation as possible. Since, they see each other regularly in class, she's got to be extra careful not to hurt a guy's feelings. If a girl is from your social circle, she can't just ignore you or tell you she's not interested when she's actually not interested, which is why you have to read between the lines.

Yeah, I get that. But I'm just wondering why she said she's uncomfortable because she "JUST MET HIM". In most cases when girls try to brush me off politely they tell me that they have a boyfriend. This seems more practical because it solidifies the fact that I can't approach her anymore for the near future because then she can just wave the boyfriend excuse in my face. And if she changes her mind then she can come back to me and say she "broke up" with him (sometimes they don't even say they broke up. I just ask again if she's dating somebody and she says she's single....As if she forgot she lied).

Now if she's saying she just met him is the only thing stopping her, then its almost like she just wants to get to know him more and then if things go well then get into a king sized bed with her king

But I read a few field reports and it seems American girls are more versatile with the English language than the South African girls I meet on average. So I really could be reading too much into things. I guess this is something up for debate. And since that's the only reason I think she's sexually attracted at this point, if I'm wrong then it'll be safe to assume she isn't and that she won't become super horny anytime soon.

But her not saying she has a boyfriend and saying something else kinda weirded me out since its such a widely used excuse here in South Africa that it could be added in the national anthem soon

Your points are quite valid and seem very likely to have happened. I just wanted everyone to get why I said what I said.