What do you tell your friends when they want to hang out but you want to practice solo?

[Beam]

Hey guys, the last few weekends I've been going out on my own on Friday/Saturday, and have been hoping that my friends (whom I love to death) wouldn't invite me out because I want to practice and don't want to have to decline their invitations to hang out. Before I would be the one to reach out and ask them what they were getting up to on the weekend but I haven't been doing that precisely because I don't want them to invite me out. Luckily they've been busy catching up with other people so it hasn't been too bad, but I caught up with a friend of mine today and he said that he's noticed I've been a bit distant lately and they haven't seen me as much and he's been asking what I've been doing, that they want to catch up more, etc.

I don't want to tell him what I've been doing since I don't think he'd understand, and also because I'm not getting results at the moment (if I was getting laid every week going out solo you bet I would be bragging about it). So I lied and said I've been catching up with some other friends of mine. Have you guys been in this situation before where you have deliberately avoided friends for this? Curious to know how you've dealt with it in a tactful way to not hurt them or make them think you don't want to hang out anymore.

 

[Velasco]

Tell them you've recently started hooking up with this one chick you met at a bar. but you can only see her on the weekends because that's the only time she's free. you didn't want to say anything earlier because she's really not that hot (if she's hot, they'll ask for pics) but pussy is pussy. They'll understand.

Questions that'll inevitably come up that you should be prepared for (these are questions I've been asked by friends inquiring about my fbs): What's her name? Where does she live? What does she do? (I would say, "I don't know I've never bothered to ask lol" because then they'll just ask further questions. And if your not a good liar, you'll get tripped up here).

 

[Zanardi]

I'd go with the honesty policy and decline their invitations, but postpone them to another date.

 

[Chrance]

I would be frank and say “I’ve been trying to pickup chicks. It’s been my thing these past few months.” This might be weird telling a coworker but if they’re your buddies they’ll understand though they may give some pushback like “wtf why don’t you invite us out?” If any question comes up about your results just say “eh it’s been a pain in the ass.” Then give a funny story of a girl you hit on who was giving you a tough time. Really, with your friends there shouldn’t be any air of posturing or showing off about girls where real ego is involved; and if they think they’re so hot themselves then entice them to show you how it’s done that weekend in a nonchalant way of course. I have close friends I go out with whenever I visit my hometown. They know the score as to why I’m busy fri/sat night and not just chilling with the boys in some backyard or porch - “I’ve got my thing tonight but y’all are welcomed to join.” Although competition around girls brings out the worst in guys so if you do go out with your buddies make sure no ego is involved.

You know, one thing I noticed going out with friends that don’t do pickup at all is that there is a very visible skill gap between us. They are literally like you when you visited a club to get bitches for the first time. Their minds are all over the place, trying to think of cool shit to say. Just like us! You may not be getting a lot of results, but assuming you’ve been sarging regularly you will see some positive differences between you and your friends.

Lastly, you can always practice with your friends. Like, they can just be told from the outset that you’re there to get bitches, not merely to party or drink. If they think that’s weird then idk, tell them it’s a lot of fun and you don’t care. “Damn y’all are fags then” is what I would say.

Another thing lol, is that it is likely you’ve spent enough time with your friends; there comes a time where you need to do your own thing without their participation or approval. Time with the boys must not last forever. It needs to end for you to become your own man. I have a buddy who couldn’t accept the fact that his best friends all went off somewhere else - to college, military, whatever. It took him a while to learn to be on his own. You going out getting bitches on your own is you being your own man.

 

[Velasco]

I would not involve my normie friends to go out with me to pick up girls. Especially if I was a noob. They're just gonna distract you. And then your gonna waste your night not doing any of the goals you set out to accomplish that night with them there. So I agree with the whole going out alone to practice.

Having guys to talk to about your hobby (to talk about what's up with your girl lately, give/ask for advice, share insights, talk about new techniques that your trying out) is great of course, because this can be a very lonely hobby, but wings (for me at least) are just distractions. I got good from going out alone, trying out what I read about from the experierenced PUAs I was learning from (mostly YaReally) and then breaking down my nights. Seeing what were the factors that determined why I failed or succeeded.

I just remembered razorjack said something similar not too long ago

Back in the day, when I was in my 5 year PU obsessed development phase, I had an internal switch that flipped when it was time to PU.

Very similar to a professional athlete / businessman. They don't socialize with friends when it is time to train, practice, compete, land that big client etc. For me it was all 100% serious business with the little PU time that I had, the last thing I needed was interference and distractions.

Your social circle will get it after a while. For me, it was usually where on a Friday, it started with an after work with colleagues but then they knew that as soon as we left the "after work" place to go to a nightclub or next venue, I was gone to do my own thing.

 

[Chrance]

@Velasco come to think of it, nearly every time I went out with friends it was never productive., but there was always this hope where I was like “man, now that I’m out with friends I’ll look better than solo and my state will be great.” Never really worked out that way

 

[Chrance]

Also, it was a bummer when Yareally left Rollos comment sections. Angels are only with us for so long lol

 

[Beam]

Appreciate the responses guys.

Tell them you've recently started hooking up with this one chick you met at a bar. but you can only see her on the weekends because that's the only time she's free. you didn't want to say anything earlier because she's really not that hot (if she's hot, they'll ask for pics) but pussy is pussy. They'll understand.

@Velasco Don't know if this one'll work for me now considering one of the topics we talked about was how I lost a chick because the sex was bad and I want a FB to get my sexual confidence back up, lol. But I'll note that down for the toolbox in the future for sure.

Although competition around girls brings out the worst in guys so if you do go out with your buddies make sure no ego is involved.

@Chrance I like your honest approach. But funny you should say this because part of the reason I want to go out alone is because I'm usually the one who gets envious, even mad when I see my friends doing better than me or when I hear their stories I can only dream about. It's a massive personality flaw of mine that I'm trying to fix. This is something I want to get better at so it's my thing, you know? Something I can finally wow them with like they've wow'd me with some of the shit they've gotten up to (like, handjobs on planes from a complete stranger, sleeping with four chicks in the space of three weeks when overseas and having them fighting over him etc). But their night game back home is terrible and they usually settle for way less than they're worth.

Another thing lol, is that it is likely you’ve spent enough time with your friends; there comes a time where you need to do your own thing without their participation or approval. Time with the boys must not last forever. It needs to end for you to become your own man. I have a buddy who couldn’t accept the fact that his best friends all went off somewhere else - to college, military, whatever. It took him a while to learn to be on his own. You going out getting bitches on your own is you being your own man.

I just remembered razorjack said something similar not too long ago

Razorjack said:
Back in the day, when I was in my 5 year PU obsessed development phase, I had an internal switch that flipped when it was time to PU.

Very similar to a professional athlete / businessman. They don't socialize with friends when it is time to train, practice, compete, land that big client etc. For me it was all 100% serious business with the little PU time that I had, the last thing I needed was interference and distractions.

Your social circle will get it after a while. For me, it was usually where on a Friday, it started with an after work with colleagues but then they knew that as soon as we left the "after work" place to go to a nightclub or next venue, I was gone to do my own thing.

I'm slowly starting to realize this and getting more comfortable with it. Before I would cling to other people but the older I get the more I realize I have to do this and that there is nothing wrong with it/ it doesn't make you a weirdo/ actually will make you 100x more attractive.

There will be situations where lying is the most pragmatic decision. But unless you're prepared to make up a new lie every weekend or create a backstory that's easy to remember and difficult to invalidate. . . I recommend being honest with your friends while revealing next to nothing.

@Bacchus I'm not prepared to lie every weekend, I prefer this approach.

 

[Beck Bass]

I very much like @Bacchus approach, though I can see why one would lie about going out solo to pickup. I've told my friends about the whole pickup thing (it took me years though) and one of them even read the entire Chase's book. He says it was really helpful and improved his life, which I'm grateful for.

But as far as taking my close friends as wings, in general they are a bit too needy and end up dragging me down quite a bit. I went out a lot with this one friend of mine that just broke off with his girlfriend and wanted to "hunt" with me, but when he would get rejected (which happened a lot 'cause his game was just bad) he would get mad and want to leave, which was super counterproductive.

I tried teaching him and said he could improve so much but he was just too lazy and entitled, thinking girls should just like him the way he is. He's the type of guy that rather settle for first average girl that gives him a chance, he chases girls since he was a young kid and just doesn't want to know any better. I feel sad for him but you really can't do anything for someone that just doesn't want to be helped. Lately he got so tired of getting rejected that he just doesn't go out with me anymore, so I'm going out solo again. I feel kinda bad, specially because of my innability to make him better, but it is what it is.