What does every man need to know about female nature?

[Zarathustra2077]

If you could go back in time and give yourself advice about girls and female nature, what would it be?
What information does every guy need to know, especially beginners?

 

[bkw]

Still tryna figure that out...

But, honestly, it's more learning about myself and confidence in myself and how women fit into that. In a lot of ways, I think I appreciate women more the older I get, in all ways, which is great. There was a time I was afraid of women, and there was a time I didn't trust women, but now it's more about appreciation, which ironically gets better the better person I become mentally, spiritually, etc. Still learning about that stuff all the time, but the trend it that I like it more and more as I get older

 

[Chase]

@Zarathustra2077,

Interesting topic!

Just to throw out a few bullets, I would say:

• It's too hard to figure out what guy is 'quality' or not rapidly on her own so women put a lot of weight on group consensus. Preselection (where she sees other attractive women are into you), social proof (you are popular / well-liked by other cool people), archetypes (where you match what she views as 'highly attractive' in a male), confidence (where your behavior conveys to her that you are comfortable and thus likely successful with other girls of her caliber) all work to allay this consensus mechanism.
  
  
• Women are constantly trying to figure out if you are for real or putting on a false face. Lots of guys tell women what they want to hear, exaggerate, lie, or omit things to try to get what they want with girls. The female defense against this is tests. If you give women reasons to suspect you may not be being truthful (i.e., you behave in ways incongruent with other things you have said or ways you have presented yourself), women will test you harder. Passing tests is all about coming across as a congruent guy who is what he seems to be. Women feel more comfortable with (and thus allow themselves to be attracted to) men they judge congruent; they are much more distrustful of men who continue to seem incongruent (i.e., men who are failing tests -- men showing them they are not being 100% truthful about who they are with the girl).
  
  
• Women have a dual need for excitement and safety. The trick is maintaining the balancing act between the two. This is the case in pickups, and it is the case in relationships, and so long as you have women around it does not ever go away. If it gets too safe for too long, she is no longer excited, gets bored, and will either start acting out (drama) to create excitement or will leave. If OTOH if gets too wild and exciting to too extreme a degree for too long, she is no longer safe, gets destabilized, and will either start acting out (drama) seeking safety or will leave. Understanding the concept of attainability helps you manage this better.
  
  
• Courtship can sometimes be shortened but rarely skipped. Guys are sometimes frustrated that they can't just go out, find a girl they like, proposition her, then have her come right home and have sex and enter a relationship. Most men need an escalation process to some degree too but it's much shorter than women's. Women generally require a more drawn out courtship/seduction before they are ready to go to bed with you. Some girls are horny or DTF and you can pick them up relatively quick; usually these girls still require an escalation process (i.e., seduction). Most seduction methods are built around taking women through this process. Mystery's M3 model, which progresses women first through attraction, then to comfort, then to seduction, then to the relationship. My SAC model revolves around balancing three factors women need in different doses as the seduction progresses (similarity, arousal, and compliance). Succeeding with women is about learning how to navigate through the courtship while progressively escalating things with a woman until she is ready to go to bed with you. After that, there is a conversion process to escalate her into an ongoing relationship, and from there there is further escalation to more serious phases of the relationship. Breakups also go through an escalation process; women don't go to bed happy with you one night and wake up resolved to ditch you the next. There is an 'investment deescalation' process they go through alongside a 'socializing re-escalation' they enter into as they prepare to make their exit. Learning to recognize this enables you to pre-empt breakups, assuming you are willing to do whatever is need to do that (such as resolving certain problems or escalating the relationship).
  
  
• Also... girls are silly and cute. They are playful. They respond well to teases and games. They have overly simplistic opinions on many things and tend to conform and follow the crowd. They're clumsier than men and often need help. They complain rather than deal with their problems often. They are goofy. You need to understand when they need something or are in emotional duress, but at the same time you need to learn to read between the lines with what they are saying rather than take everything they say or do at face value. There is pretty much always a deeper (subtextual) meaning to what a woman is saying/doing. The men who find women most frustrating are the ones who try to take women very literally. The men who find women most enjoyable are the ones who know to pretty much never take women literally, but instead listen to the emotions and subtext of what is being communicated and respond to that.

That should cover some of the more salient points!

Chase

 

[Quicknick]

Driven by emotions at all times, sums it up for me.