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- Oct 9, 2012
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A few years back @Teevster (Alek Rolstad) and I came out against a disturbing low- / no-game trend we have been seeing in a lot of newer guys approaching girls. The trend revolves around making generic looks-based direct opener compliments to girls, with basically no push-pull or flirtation whatsoever, making no attempt to hook the girl whatsoever, and basically just speed-running the phone number.
We called this approach 'neo-direct' because it is technically a form of direct game, except that it is just a newer and far crappier form of direct.
Unfortunately newer guys have been reading "neo-direct = bad" without fully understanding what kind of approach we are saying is bad, then worrying to themselves that maybe THEY are using the forbidden bad approach technique!
Then they are getting self-conscious, not approaching as much, restricting themselves from doing or saying things they want to say on approach, etc.
That is not the effect we were going for, and I don't want guys to have that happening to them, so this post is to clarify what neo-direct is & also what you should do (especially as a beginner).
WHAT IS A BAD / NEO-DIRECT APPROACH?
For an approach to qualify as 'neo-direct', I would say it has to have these parts:
Extra neo-direct bonus points if the guy:
Basically, the "feel" of neo-direct is that the guy is just nervously putting himself out there, "shooting his shot", hoping the girl will accept him basically on looks alone. "Here I am, I think you're pretty, do you also think I'm pretty and can I get your number?" --> that is basically the vibe of a neo-direct opener. Instead of "I am the prize", she is the prize. It sucks.
If you want to see what one of these approaches looks like, here's an example + a breakdown of what the guy does wrong in the thread that follows:
x.com
SCARED YOU'RE DOING NEO-DIRECT? HERE'S HOW NOT TO!
You can:
You only need to do one of those to make it not be neo-direct.
Here is the easiest way to simply never do neo-direct:
If you just do those things you will automatically be head and shoulders above all these idiots who are going onto social media posting videos of their 'rizz' (where they make these atrocious approaches and get blown out or get brush off numbers where the girl gives the guy her number just to get rid of him then never responds).
It is not hard; you do not need to be paranoid --
Just don't use generic looks-based compliments OR be super-duper enthusiastic and really MEAN it when you do AND talk to her for two minutes before you ask her out (and don't ask for numbers before you ask girls out. Don't put the cart before the horse).
That's it. That's all you have to do to not be guilty of the MORTAL SEDUCTION SIN of NEO-DIRECT.
Not too hard, right?
BUT WAIT, WHAT IF I ACCIDENTALLY DO SOME NEO-DIRECT?
Then I'm afraid we must excommunicate you from the seduction community, my son.
Henceforth you are banished to the realm of social media rizz wizards, and will forevermore be known as a 'rizzling'.
...
Nah, just jerking your chain there.
Look: if you're brand new and you're really scared and you go approach a girl and some clumsy neo-direct is all you can get out, FINE. At least you are approaching! It's a lot better than NOT approaching.
But once you have a few approaches under your belt, we just want to make sure you're getting out of ineffective approach strategies and over to more effective ones as quick as can be.
No need for you to stay stuck in 'rizz-land' bombing with girls and not knowing why any longer than you need to.
If all you can muster at first is neo-direct, then go do neo-direct.
Once your nerves are a bit under control and you're ready to start running stuff that is more likely to hook girls in and turn into contact info that turns into dates and lays, start working that neo-direct kink out of your game and shift to a better approach.
Chase
We called this approach 'neo-direct' because it is technically a form of direct game, except that it is just a newer and far crappier form of direct.
Unfortunately newer guys have been reading "neo-direct = bad" without fully understanding what kind of approach we are saying is bad, then worrying to themselves that maybe THEY are using the forbidden bad approach technique!
Then they are getting self-conscious, not approaching as much, restricting themselves from doing or saying things they want to say on approach, etc.
That is not the effect we were going for, and I don't want guys to have that happening to them, so this post is to clarify what neo-direct is & also what you should do (especially as a beginner).
WHAT IS A BAD / NEO-DIRECT APPROACH?
For an approach to qualify as 'neo-direct', I would say it has to have these parts:
- Generic looks-based compliment opener ("Excuse me but you're really beautiful/cute")
- Flat, uninspired delivery on the opener/approach (i.e., no energy, enthusiasm, vitality, excitement)
- Goes for the phone number grab in under a minute ("Can I get your number?")
Extra neo-direct bonus points if the guy:
- Compliments her (unearned) multiple times throughout the approach
- Completely skips any kind of attempt to flirt, tease, get compliance, or lead at all
- Makes no effort to create a hook point before asking the girl out
- Doesn't even actually ask her out; just goes straight for the number
Basically, the "feel" of neo-direct is that the guy is just nervously putting himself out there, "shooting his shot", hoping the girl will accept him basically on looks alone. "Here I am, I think you're pretty, do you also think I'm pretty and can I get your number?" --> that is basically the vibe of a neo-direct opener. Instead of "I am the prize", she is the prize. It sucks.
If you want to see what one of these approaches looks like, here's an example + a breakdown of what the guy does wrong in the thread that follows:
x.com
x.com
SCARED YOU'RE DOING NEO-DIRECT? HERE'S HOW NOT TO!
You can:
- Open with any non-direct opener (situational, playful-nonverbal, indirect-direct, compliance, etc.). This is NOT neo-direct.
- Create a GENUINE compliment, just for her. This is NOT neo-direct.
- Compliment her on literally anything other than her genetic looks. This is NOT neo-direct.
- Use a generic looks-based compliment opener YET come in with absolutely contagious energy and a ton of dominance. This is NOT neo-direct!
- Follow up your opener (even a generic uninspired looks-based one!) with game (push-pull, teases, flirtation, cold reads, compliance requests, etc.), which you use to reach a hook point. This is NOT neo-direct!
- Ask her out on a high point, when she is laughing and engaged and clearly feeling you, and do NOT ask for her contact info UNTIL she has agreed to the date request. This is NOT neo-direct.
You only need to do one of those to make it not be neo-direct.
Here is the easiest way to simply never do neo-direct:
- Either do not pay girls generic looks-based compliments, OR
- If you must use generic-looks based compliments, be EXTREMELY sincere and enthusiastic in your delivery, AND
- Either way, talk to her for at least two minutes before you ask her out (and make sure you ask her out first, not just go "Can I get your number?")
If you just do those things you will automatically be head and shoulders above all these idiots who are going onto social media posting videos of their 'rizz' (where they make these atrocious approaches and get blown out or get brush off numbers where the girl gives the guy her number just to get rid of him then never responds).
It is not hard; you do not need to be paranoid --
Just don't use generic looks-based compliments OR be super-duper enthusiastic and really MEAN it when you do AND talk to her for two minutes before you ask her out (and don't ask for numbers before you ask girls out. Don't put the cart before the horse).
That's it. That's all you have to do to not be guilty of the MORTAL SEDUCTION SIN of NEO-DIRECT.
Not too hard, right?
BUT WAIT, WHAT IF I ACCIDENTALLY DO SOME NEO-DIRECT?
Then I'm afraid we must excommunicate you from the seduction community, my son.
Henceforth you are banished to the realm of social media rizz wizards, and will forevermore be known as a 'rizzling'.
...
Nah, just jerking your chain there.
Look: if you're brand new and you're really scared and you go approach a girl and some clumsy neo-direct is all you can get out, FINE. At least you are approaching! It's a lot better than NOT approaching.
But once you have a few approaches under your belt, we just want to make sure you're getting out of ineffective approach strategies and over to more effective ones as quick as can be.
No need for you to stay stuck in 'rizz-land' bombing with girls and not knowing why any longer than you need to.
If all you can muster at first is neo-direct, then go do neo-direct.
Once your nerves are a bit under control and you're ready to start running stuff that is more likely to hook girls in and turn into contact info that turns into dates and lays, start working that neo-direct kink out of your game and shift to a better approach.
Chase
