What the Hell Do I Do In Social Circle?

[NotJamesBond]

Hey guys.

I just want to clarify what social circle is: does it count to use this term if the person of my interest is a friend of someone in my friend group whom my friend brought around? That is, not anyone who is a friend of mine in the group but a friend of theirs who is not usually a part of the group but joins us for whatever.

So this circle of mine (me, my buddy, our 2 female friends) hung out tonight and one of the female friends (who is super attractive) brought her friend (who is also super attractive- biggest advantage of having attractive women in your life whose friendship you genuinely enjoy) and my buddy brought his gf (irrelevant).

So I meet her (the girl my female friend brought) and she's cool but she kept wanting to just socialize with her good friend (my female friend). I mean don't get me wrong, we were playing board games and stuff (lol) and she was talking with everyone and joking around with everyone but she especially liked focusing on her friend. I understand, well, duh, of course she would because she's the only person there she really knows and on top of that she knows her well.

Just what the hell am I supposed to do with this though? I said a few things to her and she'd reply and she laughed some, but she was REALLY focused on her friend (who is also my friend). I had a hard time relaxing because I was overthinking how I was coming off. I was trying to not get in a chase mindset (I'm confident it didn't appear that way whatsoever, fake it til you make it). You know what they say...Moment you start chasing...

You're probably going "no duh that's literally the point of social circle" but why wouldn't she want to talk to me more? My friend set it up. She brought her around. She kept motioning to me asking what I thought of her, I would give a thumbs up and all that but I was confused because her friend didn't seem interested in me, so why was she asking? Lol.

This was also a social circle that was in our other female friend's basement. So it wasn't like we were out, and we were all playing one game for the most part. I can more or less navigate social circle in public (get compliance with a girl a friend brought around to teach her pool, etc), I'm talking in private. We're also college-aged by the way.

Again, I would throw some feelers out there but she didn't seem too into wanting to talk to me lol. Did I just not talk enough? I mean, it is social circle so everyone was talking with everyone. Pretty laid back environment. And I hadn't seen my buddy in like 1-2 months and I never met his girlfriend so I was talking to them, I was doing my own thing but the REASON she was there was because I asked my friend to bring her around.

So yeah, any help is appreciated if you can get through this wall of text.

I expect Seppuku to be here shortly. A preemptive thank you is due.

Keep learning
NJB

 

[NotJamesBond]

I just read Chase's article for the first time in several months if not a year or more (https://www.girlschase.com/content/socia ... d-approach, you're welcome Chase, for the views) and I think I got it figured out as to why I'm frustrated from tonight:

-The very nature of social circle is that it's slow
-Contrasted this with a couple girls I recently met who both showed interest in me and excitement at getting to know me literally right off the bat (doesn't always happen, maybe it was my fundamentals or maybe I'm just their type but still)
-Within literal moments of meeting these girls, I had gotten further than with the girl I met through social circle
-Expecting cold approach-style movement in a social circle setting
-The article goes on to show what failure in tennis does to men's testosterone levels and cortisol as opposed to success, and that's only at tennis...

Gee, no wonder.

Still, any feedback is welcomed. Still wondering a lil bit if I should have talked directly to her more. But then, I wasn't asking anyone else direct questions because we were all in the middle of a game. I guess it's just the nature of social circle...

Regardless, plenty of eggs, plenty of baskets.

NJB

 

[Fuck This]

Social Circle game builds off of Comfort.

You have some social momentum from knowing the same people.

I think the key here is to maintain a friendly demeanor and remaining approachable. But still maintain some mystery that makes your target find out more about you. If you spill your whole life story the first 15 minutes there is no reason to go out on a date with you to find out more. That initial meeting she should know your name, who you hang out with, what you do with those people, the people you know in common, and places you both are familiar with (commonalities). Also that you are a charming guy and a brilliant conversationalist, and that you would be fun to get to know better.


Some examples...
From 2011. a group I'd been a part of for 4 years.
A girl shows up to an open group run. Actually doesn't know anyone. I'm chatting while we stretch before the run. Someone calls me by name. She replies "Wait, you are Two Rocky?" Everyone turns and looks at me. She goes on. "I'm like best friends with your cousin. I went to Costa Rica with her."

So for the next 30 minutes we chat off and on as we jog . I introduce her to my single buddy (I was married at the time). Single buddy is having beers at his place later and invites the group. Invite her to go. I'm trying to position my buddy to make a connection with this chick. He pretty much fucks it up. I get her number to text her the address to my buddy's place.

So I'm being social with the whole group, not trying to attract anyone, just focusing on having a good time. I notice that this chick is trying to get my attention and makes a big show of bending over in front of me and revealing the top of a gstring panties. (Not the kind you wear to a run). I was pretty oblivious until she came up to me and said she was leaving and asked me to walk her out.

Had I been in a position to pursue her at this point, I could have asked her out or taken her home. But I think it was my non-Chasey frame of interacting with everyone, not just her demonstrated my social position. It also helped that I had more in common with her through a mutual friend than any one else. My buddy tried to push it, and creeped her out.


I guess my moral is that if you maintain a social circle based on mutual respect those friends will be proud to introduce prospects to you. If you aggressively hit on every new female that shows up you will get a reputation (like my buddy did eventually).

Postscript: Buddy met a woman and married her last August. This girl ended up getting pregnant by some guy a little more than a year ago. She still looks pretty good on FB.

 

[Average]

-The very nature of social circle is that it's slow

Social Circle game builds off of Comfort.

Gents,

I just wanted to say Thanks. This thread was helpful to me as well.