When she says yes, but you think it’s just out of politeness

[Average_dude8989]

I’ve been seeing this girl who had been my friend for a year. I finally told her that I liked her, she said that there were some concerning things about me such as knowledge of my past relationships and stuff. The evidence I got that she kinda liked me also was that after I told her, she cept contacting me. She was the one that kept texting and calling me after, not the other way. She was also concerned that she did not want to lose me as a friend. Recently we went on a spontaneous date that we did not plan, and then I asked her to go to a more formal date later on. My problem is that she might be saying yes to the more formal date out of politeness or because I was her friend and she does not want to hurt my feelings. Idk how you can tell this. This is what I want an opinion on. I can not tell if she genuinely wants to go with me or is she just giving me false hope.
Thanks.

 

[Big Daddy]

I'm assuming both of you guys are very young (possibly high school)?

I will say that saying to a girl you like her is never a good situation for you to be in. Generally the girl will lose her respect for you (because you told her that you liked expecting her to do something about it instead of making a move yourself), but sometimes they will continue hanging out of you out of politeness and/or for attention as you've correctly guessed.

For one,

I finally told her that I liked her, she said that there were some concerning things about me such as knowledge of my past relationships and stuff.

You should never talk about it rationally, as if it were some kind of contract. Also, by this point, she's probably not even thinking about fucking you, as she went straight to relationships which is also a not good situation for you to be in.

She was also concerned that she did not want to lose me as a friend.

She doesn't want to lose attention.

I asked her to go to a more formal date later on

Don't, you don't want to reinforce the idea of a bf-gf dynamic between you guys. Since you've been talking to her for a while, I assume it won't be weird if you just ask her to go to a pizza at your place. Say that you are broke and cancel the date, suggest pizza at your place. Take her and the pizza to your bedroom and touch her heavily and see how she reacts. If it's good go for the kiss and try to escalate from there.

It'll tell you if it's out of politeness or if she really wants something sexual with you.

 

[Average_dude8989]

Thank you for your advice, I will definitely learn and adjust.
However my goal is to make her my gf. I mean yes obviously I want sexual intimacy also, but my overall goal is not really just to hook up and then leave, it’s to form a relationship with her.
What I think confuses me is that I am interpreting her politness as her liking me. Now I don’t want to give up on her (persistence can go a long way) but I would not like it at all if she’s just feeding me false hope. We’re actually a lot older than hs

 

[Big Daddy]

Ignore the fuckton of typos I'm on my phone.

Even if you want a relationship with her, you should still be nom-commital about it for as long as possible. Girls are the gatekeeper to sex, and they know that, so they get guys to invest a lot before letting them fuck her. Guys on the other hand are the gatekeepers to relationships, and if you don't let HER pin you down you are going to have a hard time maintaining attraction throughout the relationship.

The way it works under a woman's mind is: this sexy mysterious guys comes along and sweep her off hers feet. They end up sleeping very fast, faster than anyone she ever has in the past. This guy is very attractive, she figures, for her to have slept with someone so fast. Then she tries to pin him down, but he's nom-commital. She continues to do things on his terms, until she finally gets him to declare monogamy to her, even if somewhat on his terms. But she's so happy; SHE was the one who tamed the bad boy!

If she feels she has too much control over your and you are not intriguing enough she'll lose interest. If you want to continue seeing her after you had sex, by all means do so. Either way your best chances of getting what you want is trying to sleep asap with this girl.

You're already in a hard position as you declared your cards way too early, so your best bet is to make a move on her. If you invite her to your place knowing that she likes you she KNOWS what's up. Even if she says otherwise no woman in the planet would discard entirely the chances of something happening while alone in a bedroom with a man attracted to her.

 

[OldGuy]

What about your past relationships upsets her?

 

[Big Daddy]

I'm not sure I understand you question. Could you expand?