Why are most guys not utterly obsessed with seduction?

[Atlas IV]

I've been brainstorming business ideas, and trying to figure out why seduction is such a micro niche in today's world. Obviously guys are more sexually frustrated now than ever, yet only a tiny subset of them join communities like this and are serious about learning truth-based seduction.

I know that what's taught by the writers of GirlsChase is the truth because I've verified it myself countless times. Any time I mess something up, it's usually because I ignored the advice here. It's not dogma, it's just the collective insights of dedicated, introspective men with far more experience at this than me.

So why are more guys not driven here by their biological urges? Men are rational beings, and by nature we seek solutions to problems. It seems logical that there should be a ton of guys here trying to solve this universally shared problem. Why are they not obsessed with it?

Out of the "three eternal industries" (health, wealth and relationships), we have here the solutions to one of these that would benefit almost every guy on the planet. Yet, truth-based seduction remains a niche that gets the least engagement.

My guess is it's one of a few things:
1. Ego - guys don't want to accept that they suck with women, it hurts their pride too much
2. Laziness - they want a quick, fast solution (like what online dating ostensibly provides), and don't want to put in the work to get better
3. They refuse to see it as a skillset that can be honed (jUsT bE yOuRseLf)
4. The mainstream media has trashed pickup so much at this point that most guys have a reflexive revulsion to it
5. They don't know that there is a solution to their pain point (never truly thought about why they're not getting the dating results they want)

Out of these five, I would like to think that it's mostly the last one. Based on my own experience, until I came across GC (through a stranger's comment on Reddit that changed my life) I had no idea about game and had never conceptualized an actionable system to improve my dating life. Had I been aware of it, I would have gone down the rabbit hole way sooner.

What are your guys thoughts on this? Is there a reason that there are so few of us obsessed with winning the dance of mating, or are we just crazy aberrations of our species?

 

[topcat]

Seduction as taught here is overkill tbh. It’s not necessary to land an ordinary girlfriend or relationship. Billions have managed without it and billions more will continue to.

This field attracts outliers, those with some particular quirk of personality that leads to obsession or a particularly high sex drive that leads to the same.

I’m learning with experience and as my skills improve that on the path of mastering this skill i’ve actually “overclocked” myself for the majority of women - it’s easy to overwhelm their experience with what i’m capable of and i often have to tone it down or bail on alot of women because I’m too much for them to manage.

Seduction is for the extremists among us.

 

[Bella304]

I think not all guys are obsessively interested in seduction because they have different priorities in life. For some, relationships are more important than seduction techniques, and others might just be content with what they have. Sometimes it’s a matter of personality and approach to life.Additionally, many people may feel overwhelmed by social pressure or expectations surrounding seduction. This can lead them to focus on other aspects of life, like hobbies or career. Everyone has their own path, and that’s perfectly fine!

 

[Stark]

Soceital brainwashing is super strong against seduction. Making money, building a body etc. are highly encouraged while anything remote to flirting or seducing women is frowned upon.

——

I’ve spoken to lotof men who wanted to improve their dating success.

When asked about their sticking point, the answer is almost the same -

They say

‘ I just don’t get to meet enough women in a dating context.

If I did, I’ll easily convert this into successful dates/lays/gf/wife.’

Hence the increasing popularity of paid social meet-ups that promise to connect singles within your city.

As usual these meet-ups turn out to be a sausage fest. Further exaggerating the problem in their minds.

—

99 % of men in society are not looking to follow the footsteps of Casanova. They would rather jump off a cliff than cold approach women. Let alone risk rejection or leading a woman.

If anything most men of today’s generation fantasise about a woman leading them all the way from meet to sex. They just don’t have it in them to step into the role of seducer & have sexual agency

 

[Wick]

Some good points here already, but I’d argue that most men ARE deeply interested in it.

Its just that most take different strategies, like looks, money, status. In a way using porn is a strategy too, obviously a poor one.

Probably because most men think whatever strategy they’re using is right for them, maybe because they think that’s the best strategy, and/or it’s “easier” than learning the scary stuff like actually facing rejection and growth.

Also I think in todays culture men are not taught how to be tenacious, bold, creative, passionate, etc. In fact the opposite is being pushed. And I’m more and more feeling that they are necessary parts of successful game and life in general.

 

[Will_V]

I've been brainstorming business ideas, and trying to figure out why seduction is such a micro niche in today's world. Obviously guys are more sexually frustrated now than ever, yet only a tiny subset of them join communities like this and are serious about learning truth-based seduction.

I know that what's taught by the writers of GirlsChase is the truth because I've verified it myself countless times. Any time I mess something up, it's usually because I ignored the advice here. It's not dogma, it's just the collective insights of dedicated, introspective men with far more experience at this than me.

So why are more guys not driven here by their biological urges? Men are rational beings, and by nature we seek solutions to problems. It seems logical that there should be a ton of guys here trying to solve this universally shared problem. Why are they not obsessed with it?

Out of the "three eternal industries" (health, wealth and relationships), we have here the solutions to one of these that would benefit almost every guy on the planet. Yet, truth-based seduction remains a niche that gets the least engagement.

My guess is it's one of a few things:
1. Ego - guys don't want to accept that they suck with women, it hurts their pride too much
2. Laziness - they want a quick, fast solution (like what online dating ostensibly provides), and don't want to put in the work to get better
3. They refuse to see it as a skillset that can be honed (jUsT bE yOuRseLf)
4. The mainstream media has trashed pickup so much at this point that most guys have a reflexive revulsion to it
5. They don't know that there is a solution to their pain point (never truly thought about why they're not getting the dating results they want)

Out of these five, I would like to think that it's mostly the last one. Based on my own experience, until I came across GC (through a stranger's comment on Reddit that changed my life) I had no idea about game and had never conceptualized an actionable system to improve my dating life. Had I been aware of it, I would have gone down the rabbit hole way sooner.

What are your guys thoughts on this? Is there a reason that there are so few of us obsessed with winning the dance of mating, or are we just crazy aberrations of our species?

There's probably multiple factors, but seduction as it's taught here and typical dating are two very different mental models.

Seduction is all about sex - seeing women as sexual creatures, creating sexual frames, having sexual adventures, and creating an end-to-end erotic experience.

Typical dating is about social convention, social status, having 'made it' in life, transacting non-sexual value from the opposite sex, having kids and getting married, etc etc.

Most guys are taught from very early on to see relationships through the second lens, and they revert to this thinking hard the more victimized they feel. So they often have not got their heads anywhere near seduction - in fact they are trying to calculate some logical, reliable framework for acquiring women based on some equation of social value and intrinsic deservingness. The idea of other guys shortcutting their way to sex and relationships, by creating intense and exciting emotional experiences for the woman, grates on them hard, and this is the psychological basis for the red pill vs. chad war.

Seduction is fundamentally a winners game, for men who believe they can have whatever they want, and desire to hold the entirety of their success in their own hands. If a man can't endure the feeling that there is only himself between where he is and both success at one end and absolute failure at the other, he's never going to be fully comfortable occupying the seducer's role.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

To me its a geography thing.
In the USA and UK countries , (and Asian countries )seduction is not so much part of the culture (at all) . Some guys learn it young . The majoritydon’t. And these countries are much more blue -pilled culturally and it’s a widespread thing the notion of dating.

Latin America, Europe and other countries it’s very much part of the culture and guys learn about it when very young.

in the Latin cultures it would be taught through dancing and common in film and music.

same with African cultures and African American culture. That’s why they are better at it.

my 2cents .

 

[DarkKnight]

Very interesting post and yeah topcat struck a good point about this stuff being overkill

Chase had an article about 3 kinds of mate seekers. Genetic , status and comfort. The people who go for comfort already dont care for pickup they just want a decent girl. Status you just have to fit in with a crowd I guess? And then you got guys looking for genetic superior girls. Good luck with finding those without luck and pickup skills.

I also think a big part is indeed the guys who want magic bullets which work fast but guys are also strangely viable

I also notice with some guys they always infect themselves with blue pill crap like finding it odd to talk to 18 or 19 year old girls when they are 30

I think the biggest part of all this is most guys never had a big challenge in their life which shook them up and challenged their views so they keep being stuck in their views and paradigm

btw lets not forget that pickup has a pretty high entree, most guys are afraid to death of cold approaching. approach anxiety is a real thing.

 

[POB]

Why are most guys not utterly obsessed with seduction?

Because most guys are confortable being average in this field.
As with any other endeavor, some will try, but won't get anything; some just need the basics and are done; and some must push it to the max to be happy. We all are in the last category.

I can't fathom my sex life being average, or settling down for good with an average chick.
This is not an option for me.
Sometimes it even hinders my progress in other areas of life, but it is what it is.

Takes balls, time and a lot of trial and error to get good at this.
Most will give up too soon once they realize that the climbing wall is way higher than they thought in the beginning.

 

[POB]

Latin America(.....)it’s very much part of the culture and guys learn about it when very young.

Used to be, but not anymore!
Most guys in South America are pussies too.
Even Brazil, who had a fame for exporting bold sexy guys, has become a chump's paradise.

 

[Skills]

Used to be, but not anymore!
Most guys in South America are pussies too.
Even Brazil, who had a fame for exporting bold sexy guys, has become a chump's paradise.

oh wowow! did not know was happening in Latin America.... But i can see that even here in USA... Black guys are less bold vs back in the days... the new gen...

 

[POB]

oh wowow! did not know was happening in Latin America.... But i can see that even here in USA... Black guys are less bold vs back in the days... the new gen...

Sadly it is...I see women complaining all over.

I am a sucker for reality TV, especially when it involves dating.
These days I was watching Temptation Island Mexico
What a shitshow it was from all the dudes!

One of them left with his GF, but she was already hooked up with one of the chads from the island.
Later they came back for the aftermath and his girl admited she was sleeping with another dude, with his fucking BF consensus.
(Basically a triangle)

Then that first island chad came along and said she was still texting him in the evening for booty calls...even read the texts for all to know (face palm). The dudes had ALL the chances to fuck hot chicks...and didn't (one of them did tbh, but kept complaining about his girl)...basically they spent the whole time crying and bitching about their gfs having fun on the other side.

Anyway, the whole premise is fucked up
(who wants to put his main in a paradisiac island with a bunch of horny chads walking around shirtless? lol)

 

[DarkKnight]

I think social media has created this mess where a lot of guys have become pussies. Basically they are getting the same messages everywhere.. I have also seen how in some previously rough areas in the world suddenly guys are soft as fuck...

I think it is like being "civilized" and trying to fit in with the western world.

But I really wonder if it also has to do with guys being much more distracted than before. A lot of the youngsters are using drugs. I even hear things like that drugs was not affected much by inflation , so kids these days are distracting themselves with this crap

 

[Spyce D]

More concerned about reputation among other men than to worry about women .

 

[L8D8]

I consider myself to be a typical AFC who is satisfied to have an occasional GF with periods of drought in between. We never do cold approach because of rejection and humiliation. My only resource for meeting women is online and very rarely social circle. Unlike most AFCs, I have been aware of game and GC for a few years now. I'm pretty good at getting dates from online game but don't really apply the seduction lessons learned here. I would never try to build a harem because I'd feel like I was cheating on them. However, this changed back in July when my last GF dumped me. I have been on dates with 9 women since but only slept with one (I think she only wants me as a FB). I'm kind of pissed at women now and am tempted to go on a rampage. I date two different women this weekend and will consciously try to seduce them, even though I wouldn't want either as my GF. I think that my former AFC self wouldn't do this which probably applies to 80% (WAG) of men. In summary, most men don't have the balls for game (OP #1), the motivation (OP #2), or willingness to sleep with more than one woman due to guilt.

 

[ulrich]

I agree that seduction has a high entry barrier. In order to apply it, you need to accept premises that take you far from societal conventions.

Many guys do take action to improve their odds… just not enough action to be open to fundamentally change the way they think about the world.

Also, there are many competing solutions promising similar results with lower costs (both money and effort) like dating apps or surgery.
Commercially speaking, a high effort nuanced field of study doesn’t hold a candle against a quick fix… at least not when appealing to the masses.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

I consider myself to be a typical AFC who is satisfied to have an occasional GF with periods of drought in between. We never do cold approach because of rejection and humiliation. My only resource for meeting women is online and very rarely social circle. Unlike most AFCs, I have been aware of game and GC for a few years now. I'm pretty good at getting dates from online game but don't really apply the seduction lessons learned here. I would never try to build a harem because I'd feel like I was cheating on them. However, this changed back in July when my last GF dumped me. I have been on dates with 9 women since but only slept with one (I think she only wants me as a FB). I'm kind of pissed at women now and am tempted to go on a rampage. I date two different women this weekend and will consciously try to seduce them, even though I wouldn't want either as my GF. I think that my former AFC self wouldn't do this which probably applies to 80% (WAG) of men. In summary, most men don't have the balls for game (OP #1), the motivation (OP #2), or willingness to sleep with more than one woman due to guilt.

That’s the way.
I think that’s the mental hurdle a lot of men have to get over; this idea of “cheating” on a woman by dating around and sleeping with more than one.
It’s useful to know that most women have a bit of a rotation of guys going when they are dating . And what’s good for the goose is good for the gander imo.

a lot of guys are too eager to commit for fear of losing the opportunity for ongoing sex.

 

[rockstar]

For the majority of guys, I think you have a lot of reasons that have been mentioned already like they just want to find a nice girlfriend, getting laid isn't a huge priority, lazy, ego, etc.

But I'm also still surprised it's not a bigger thing. There are still tons of guys out there being players unfamiliar with pua, even more trying to be those guys. A lot of guys put a lot of effort into looks, money, status etc to try to get laid or still try to be smooth, clever, engaging, or whatever they think might help.

3. They refuse to see it as a skillset that can be honed (jUsT bE yOuRseLf)
4. The mainstream media has trashed pickup so much at this point that most guys have a reflexive revulsion to it

I think these two keep out a lot of the types of guys who would otherwise have the motivation to put a lot of self-development work into this area. Tons of people in pua/men's dating advice space are cringe. People see advice that's way too try-hard and write off the community. People think guys like Andrew Tate are pua or something. Don't realize what potential is really there. They look at guys who are successful with women and see really attractive guys, guys with clout, guys who are just naturally cool and socially aware. So they try to emulate them.

I am also surprised it's not a bigger industry though. But I also like the idea of having resources other men don't have

 

[WierdDough]

I think it boils down to a simple few reasons:

1. It´s not socially acceptable
2. People in this community are pretty wierd (me included)

Imagine wanting help with a particular situation, and being met with nonsense talk about frame control or push pull techniques. Our talk is pretty autistic at times.

Also, being caught as someone who learns techniques to get laid is a social no no. Hence why so many guys instead try to improve themselves by means of looks, wealth, status and so on.

 

[ulrich]

Imagine wanting help with a particular situation, and being met with nonsense talk about frame control or push pull techniques. Our talk is pretty autistic at times.

This is a rather odd thing… if we were talking sales (for example) and some beginner guy came here asking how to get sales and then he got bombarded with discussions about value creation, profit margins, churn rate and product/market fit… then I am pretty sure he would be way more open to accept he is unsophisticated and commit to learn the nuances of the trade.

I think the fact that seduction puts you in a situation of trying to objectively gauge your sexual market value makes a lot of guys auto-reject.