Why do I attract "crazy" women?

[SonofHades]

Hello, Zagreus here. I lost access to my original account.

After some reflection, every girl I've been in a relationship with had similar qualities in the way they treat me.

This article has a good run down of the behavior https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-its-girl-whos-really-love

I'm not sure how quickly that behavior typically forms. For the girls I've been together with, they feel some sort of instant connection, which develops into that obsessive, in love behavior very fast. Like a few weeks tops.

Has every man had at least one girl like this in their life? My new current gf tells me the moment she met me she felt gravitated towards me. We only met once last year indirectly, until recently again, in which she divulged her feelings for me. She claims she would periodically would think about me and wish she could know what I had been up to over the course of the year. That she would fantasize about me. She ended up coming to that same spot I'm sometimes around, hoping to see me again which eventually worked for her.

She already idealizes me. Can any woman do that? None of the women I've been in relationships with had these kinds of connections with others. This one claims she's never been able to open up to anyone or feel comfortable like she does around me. She's always listing my good qualities with a smile and doe-eyes. That she's glad she found the courage to talk to me again, and that she only wished she had done so sooner.

This behavior is starting to irk me. It naturally makes me want to push their boundaries and "own" them. I haven't done it with this one. I don't want to anymore. It is no longer fulfilling to do so, and I've seen enough of what it can do to those females.

I know that on some level I am attracted to their behavior. Or perhaps it's just less effort for me? I am not very interested in women who do not hook hard. All my previous ex girlfriends had some sort of abusive or traumatic past, if that helps. They try very hard to develop unity with me. They desire for me to open up and reveal my layers to them. What do these women find in me that they don't find in others? I don't think I do anything special with them.

I'm trying my best to give my current gf space, instead she wants to close that gap. I barely grant her attention and we don't hang out much. I tell her I'm busy or I can't because of whatever reason because I don't want her feelings to spike so hard so fast. Yet, when I step back, it just makes her latch on harder. I can't temper it any better than I've been doing so far.

This is the easy part for me. After some point I know that I stop feeding off this and I get careless, which starts causing hurt feelings. Or I start getting annoyed or irritated at their behavior and snap at them. My inclination to push on their boundaries was a way for me to test what I can get them to do. I haven't done that at all with my current gf. My focus is on being healthier within my relationships. My only issue is experiencing boredom now. Before I had a tendency to hone in on the women I was with, but this time I just spend time doing other things that I enjoy and so my desire to push her boundaries or cause chaos is not there with my current one.

I enjoy this place because it forces me to be more mindful of my behavior towards others. I plan to stick around, and learn from others.

But seriously, why do I invite codependency?

 

[Xandin]

Hey there!
Out of curiosity how often do you see the girls during the initial few weeks where they are confessing their undying love for you? There is definitely a type of person that just naturally falls fast but being mindful of how to properly set the expectations up front can help to mitigate a lot of it. For instance if you only see them once every week or two and they are still developing those feelings then it's much more likely the type of individual they are.