Why do i suck with women?

[Wolfie]

So I am gonna give you a bit of a background

I am 24 and have been a kissless virgin for a long time, never had friends (and I don't intend to have many and would prefer not to, to avoid all that bullshit)

I went on 3 dates with a girl who was chubby, (I should not have gone on a date with her probably because I just wanted to smash her). But we enjoyed, we connected and she started comparing me to her bf, she herself said I am much better than her bf but I guess neediness took over me and I lost her


Before that I was in a long distance relationship with a girl and I broke up with her because of the obvious reasons it was a long distance yet after a year she texted saying I am the nicest guy she met and was lovey dovey ( and damn this girl was really cute).


When I walk around, I get stares from women, and these women are strikingly gorgeous, and one can clearly say these women are models ( since I work into modelling industry i can quickly know who is a model and which women is just putting up an act). And I bet these women are those kind of women who isn't hot but if you take the make up off they will be extremely gorgeous. Sometimes I have staring competition with these women and some average looking women with a bf will often look at me and then look down shyly


Yes I have my fundamentals nailed down, my fashion, my sexy expressions, my body language ( that still needs to be worked) I am getting jacked too, my biceps and chest often show when I wear clothes. And overall I am actually quite good looking as compared to other men. In fact I can connect with any women or men very quickly and their face just lights up while talking to me


I tried day gaming but It doesn't work in the place where I live and I suffer from extremely strong approach anxiety. Maybe I will get back to day game later in life.

When I work with models, I genuinely don't find them attractive because I clearly know what they look like without make up but I get nervous and this nervousness stims from my inability to socialise and not romanticise.

I genuinely don't know what to do, I don't know if I am on the right path on becoming a sexy guy and what should I do about this nervousness. And it seems bad since the place I work at I have an authority position and have to deal with models.

P. S. - i tried coaching with two different coaches but failed too so if you are gonna suggest coaching I had already tried that

Sorry for the long text

Thanks and ciao
Wolfie

 

[Will_V]

So I am gonna give you a bit of a background

I am 24 and have been a kissless virgin for a long time, never had friends (and I don't intend to have many and would prefer not to, to avoid all that bullshit)

I went on 3 dates with a girl who was chubby, (I should not have gone on a date with her probably because I just wanted to smash her). But we enjoyed, we connected and she started comparing me to her bf, she herself said I am much better than her bf but I guess neediness took over me and I lost her


Before that I was in a long distance relationship with a girl and I broke up with her because of the obvious reasons it was a long distance yet after a year she texted saying I am the nicest guy she met and was lovey dovey ( and damn this girl was really cute).


When I walk around, I get stares from women, and these women are strikingly gorgeous, and one can clearly say these women are models ( since I work into modelling industry i can quickly know who is a model and which women is just putting up an act). And I bet these women are those kind of women who isn't hot but if you take the make up off they will be extremely gorgeous. Sometimes I have staring competition with these women and some average looking women with a bf will often look at me and then look down shyly


Yes I have my fundamentals nailed down, my fashion, my sexy expressions, my body language ( that still needs to be worked) I am getting jacked too, my biceps and chest often show when I wear clothes. And overall I am actually quite good looking as compared to other men. In fact I can connect with any women or men very quickly and their face just lights up while talking to me


I tried day gaming but It doesn't work in the place where I live and I suffer from extremely strong approach anxiety. Maybe I will get back to day game later in life.

When I work with models, I genuinely don't find them attractive because I clearly know what they look like without make up but I get nervous and this nervousness stims from my inability to socialise and not romanticise.

I genuinely don't know what to do, I don't know if I am on the right path on becoming a sexy guy and what should I do about this nervousness. And it seems bad since the place I work at I have an authority position and have to deal with models.

P. S. - i tried coaching with two different coaches but failed too so if you are gonna suggest coaching I had already tried that

Sorry for the long text

Thanks and ciao
Wolfie

Hey Wolfie, I removed the duplicate thread.

It's hard to say why some guys get so anxious, but I can tell you as someone who had crazy 'social anxiety' for quite some time that really the only way through is to face it one step at a time, with the humility to accept the situation and not get stuck into yourself as you learn to change.

It's good you recognize the core issue, but your post shows that your ego is still attached to the identity of someone who is socially inept - you basically claim socializing is bullshit, models are ugly underneath, daygame 'doesn't work' where you live, and you 'already tried' coaching. While this feels like a good strong frame it actually makes it very hard for you to be open-minded, present and relaxed as you learn to face your fears.

If you want to be good at seduction and the social arts, you have to develop some kind of genuine interest in other people, there's no way to avoid it. What sort of steps do you think you can do to start enjoying being around other people and developing your social skills?

 

[Warped Mindless]

I am 24 and have been a kissless virgin for a long time, never had friends (and I don't intend to have many and would prefer not to, to avoid all that bullshit)

Yes I have my fundamentals nailed down

If you had your fundamentals nailed down you wouldn’t be a kiss virgin at 24.

It seems you lack self awareness to give yourself an honest self assessment. That along with some other things you have said I have a serious question for you… have you ever been checked for being on the autism spectrum?

 

[Wolfie]

If you had your fundamentals nailed down you wouldn’t be a kiss virgin at 24.

It seems you lack self awareness to give yourself an honest self assessment. That along with some other things you have said I have a serious question for you… have you ever been checked for being on the autism spectrum?

I had doubts about me suffering from autism, maybe I should get checked..

Well then I have a question for you, what does fundamentals means because GC says fundamentals are fashion, building muscles, connecting with people etc,..... That's all I am doing right now

 

[Conquistador]

connecting with people etc,..... That's all I am doing right now

never had friends (and I don't intend to have many and would prefer not to, to avoid all that bullshit)

…??

When I walk around, I get stares from women, and these women are strikingly gorgeous, and one can clearly say these women are models ( since I work into modelling industry i can quickly know who is a model and which women is just putting up an act). And I bet these women are those kind of women who isn't hot but if you take the make up off they will be extremely gorgeous. Sometimes I have staring competition with these women and some average looking women with a bf will often look at me and then look down shyly

In fact I can connect with any women or men very quickly and their face just lights up while talking to me

I tried day gaming but It doesn't work in the place where I live

Sometimes I have staring competition with these women and some average looking women with a bf will often look at me and then look down shyly

and I suffer from extremely strong approach anxiety

average looking women with a bf

[citation needed]

P. S. - i tried coaching with two different coaches but failed too

Who, what, where, how, and what did they tell you?

 

[Wolfie]

…??









[citation needed]

Who, what, where, how, and what did they tell you?

Never mind man text communication isn't the best way to understand, so you won't understand what I am trying to say just like I don't understand what you are trying to convey with these emoji

 

[StrayDog]

never had friends (and I don't intend to have many and would prefer not to, to avoid all that bullshit)

This speaks volumes. My intuition tells me it is just the tip of the iceberg of limiting beliefs and fixed attitudes around what socialisation is, what it can be, and how it can fit into your life. I wouldn't be surprised if these limiting beliefs and attitudes around something so fundamental to the human experience as friendship permeate other aspects of your life. The way you socialize with woman being one of them.

So my first question to you would be: what precisely do you mean by "all that bullshit"?

 

[Wolfie]

This speaks volumes. My intuition tells me it is just the tip of the iceberg of limiting beliefs and fixed attitudes around what socialisation is, what it can be, and how it can fit into your life. I wouldn't be surprised if these limiting beliefs and attitudes around something so fundamental to the human experience as friendship permeate other aspects of your life. The way you socialize with woman being one of them.

So my first question to you would be: what precisely do you mean by "all that bullshit"?

Well I had few friends who seemed like they were good but deep down they were only for pleasure and utilising me, also some of them would assert their dominance over me which is when I decided I would prefer not to have shallow friends because I would rather value my time spending with someone I think is worth it now that doesn't mean I come across as asshole I try to be friendly with everyone as much as I can and some with strangers too, they open up quickly when I start talking to them. Even some of the taxi drivers become quite friendly



So yes all the bullshit is nothing but friends revealing my secret to others and talking shit about me



Well all this was in the past and I decided to enjoy myself, I do get lonely but now I am habituated to enjoy my company alone.

But it's sometimes different with women, I genuinely enjoy talking to women and they seem too, I have done very less approaches around 40 or 45 put some of the conversations I had with them was really interesting, I do take interest in people in general but I don't think I have many freinds or people who I can call brothers.



Plus I have to Come a conclusion that some countries especially the Asian countries it really affects a mans capacity to socialise and game women. Which is why maybe I had posted this question "why do I suck with women?"

 

[Wolfie]

Also

Well I had few friends who seemed like they were good but deep down they were only for pleasure and utilising me, also some of them would assert their dominance over me which is when I decided I would prefer not to have shallow friends because I would rather value my time spending with someone I think is worth it now that doesn't mean I come across as asshole I try to be friendly with everyone as much as I can and some with strangers too, they open up quickly when I start talking to them. Even some of the taxi drivers become quite friendly



So yes all the bullshit is nothing but friends revealing my secret to others and talking shit about me



Well all this was in the past and I decided to enjoy myself, I do get lonely but now I am habituated to enjoy my company alone.

But it's sometimes different with women, I genuinely enjoy talking to women and they seem too, I have done very less approaches around 40 or 45 put some of the conversations I had with them was really interesting, I do take interest in people in general but I don't think I have many freinds or people who I can call brothers.



Plus I have to Come a conclusion that some countries especially the Asian countries it really affects a mans capacity to socialise and game women. Which is why maybe I had posted this question "why do I suck with women?"

This speaks volumes. My intuition tells me it is just the tip of the iceberg of limiting beliefs and fixed attitudes around what socialisation is, what it can be, and how it can fit into your life. I wouldn't be surprised if these limiting beliefs and attitudes around something so fundamental to the human experience as friendship permeate other aspects of your life. The way you socialize with woman being one of them.

So my first question to you would be: what precisely do you mean by "all that bullshit"?

Also come to think of it I am not intoverted, it look like that but sometimes I am an extrovert and then I love to talk

 

[Destiny]

I tried day gaming but It doesn't work in the place where I live and I suffer from extremely strong approach anxiety.

get nervous and this nervousness stims from my inability to socialise and not romanticise

(I should not have gone on a date with her probably because I just wanted to smash her)

These are clearly just limiting beliefs, excuses, and pure BS.

Unless you live in a country where you get beheaded for talking to a strange girl, DG works just fine if you know how to do it, Karea and Gunwitch make it work in small towns even.

If you're still suffering from "extremely strong approach anxiety", there's no way you have enough experience to say that DG doesn't work.

If you get nervous cause you can't socialize, then you need to socialize even if you don't want too.

And you went on a date with a fatty because you wanted to fuck her but you say models aren't hot? Complete BS to avoid approaching them.

Plus I have to Come a conclusion that some countries especially the Asian countries it really affects a mans capacity to socialise and game women. Which is why maybe I had posted this question "why do I suck with women?"

I'm in an Asian country too, once you take responsibility for your own life you can't blame where you grew up or where you are for your results.

I have done very less approaches around 40 or 45

This is basically the most important part. Nothing helps if you don't actually get infield experience.

If you want to get rid of approach anxiety and get better at approaching, you need to approach, no amount of fundamentals is gonna help you if you aren't actually talking to any girls.

May want to try some of these: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/body-oriented-therapy-and-its-application-to-pu.21753/

 

[Wolfie]

And you went on a date with a fatty because you wanted to fuck her but you say models aren't hot? Complete BS to avoid approaching them.

Maybe you haven't seen them without make up

 

[Wolfie]

These are clearly just limiting beliefs, excuses, and pure BS.

I used to think that too and gave it a try for a year and a half spoke to coaches from GC they themselves said this path isn't for you well if this path isn't for me then what path is? No one said that

 

[Wolfie]

Unless you live in a country where you get beheaded for talking to a strange girl

Yeah you can say that some people have been beaten to shit just for approaching girls in my country..... And the pick up community is full of creeps



Look you are projecting your reality your experiences says something else which is why you think that I have all these bull crap thoughts and I have a different reality.

I tired for a year and a half got coaches infield and did some virtual coaching too but I came to realise that day game is not for me and no one in my country let alone county my city has claimed to sleep with a girl though day game all they do is act like a clown..

We can have a debate and back and forth about how bullshit my thoughts and me refusing but I am not going to debate because all I need is some sort of solution to my problem

 

[Wolfie]

I'm in an Asian country too, once you take responsibility for your own life you can't blame

Whatever you say sounds motivating but It does not resonate with me

 

[Wolfie]

N

If you're still suffering from "extremely strong approach anxiety", there's no way you have enough experience to say that DG doesn't work

No it may work and it should but Not for me that's the difference and not in my city. It's not whining but it is the truth

 

[Will_V]

@Wolfie your attitude is very poor. You come here asking for help and then become dismissive and combative when people try to find ways to do that.

I've seen this before, I don't know whether it works intentionally or not. Someone is in a bad mental spot, presents themselves as someone wanting help from others, and then proceeds to work against any attempt to fix the problem, just hard enough that people think 'just a bit more and I'll get through'. It's partly attention seeking, partly ego trip, and always with a substantial amount of actual pain behind it that seeks validation.

Unfortunately we are not all therapists here to know how to deal with this, nor do we charge by the hour.

You know your mental model is bullshit and your statements are full of contradictions. If all the ugly girls are models, then where did the hot ones go, to work in Macdonalds? This is 'gender pay gap' level mental gymnastics. Guys are getting laid in all sorts of asian and middle eastern conservative countries simply by knowing that women are women and applying the same skills that work all over the world. You haven't provided any examples of what you've tried and what the results were, just flat out statements that it 'doesn't work' which obviously means you have scant few examples to draw from. And somehow you think pickup is all about clowning and being a creep - that's not whats taught here at all.

Motivating words don't resonate with you, day game doesn't work in your city, and all the people around you aren't worth being friends with .. see the common denominator here?

If you really want to get out of your predicament, and are willing to do anything to break free, we can help. Otherwise you'll just end up building your perfect castle of illusions as to why everything will never work out for you, and live in it alone.

I ask you again, what are you going to do to start training yourself to be a man who faces reality and learns to cultivate friends and seduce women?

 

[Wolfie]

your attitude is very poor. You come here asking for help and then become dismissive and combative when people try to find ways to do that.

Well if it came like I am sorry of course I didn't meant that on purpose. But this attitude of mine is coming from my experience someone here was saying that my thoughts are bull crap but they are not when you keep trying for a year and a half you get tired mentally, to me it has been stressful rather than fun

 

[Wolfie]

somehow you think pickup is all about clowning and being a creep - that's not whats taught here at all.

You have met guys from my country or city so I disagree with you there

 

[Wolfie]

Motivating words don't resonate with you, day game doesn't work in your city, and all the people around you aren't worth being friends with .. see the common denominator here?

Yes I agree there is something wrong with me and I did my best to change things around and they have failed.

 

[Wolfie]

Unfortunately we are not all therapists here to know how to deal with this, nor do we charge by the hour.

I agree and I understand that no is therapist here...... All I am looking for is answers whats the solution for a person like me?