Why is cheating wrong?

[Humay]

I'm not advocating cheating, nor am i saying it's not wrong. I know it's wrong, because it feels wrong in my heart. But just a feeling isn't good enough. I just want to know good reasons WHY its wrong, so i won't consider it in the future in moments of weakness.

A 'feeling' that cheating is wrong is unlikely to prevent me from getting that cute girl with big breasts and a sexy body in bed with me as my mistress, if i'm not too emotionally invested in my girlfriend (like at the start of a relationship). What my girlfriend doesn't know, can't hurt her right? And better to give two girls the nights and love of their lives than just give it to one.

Common arguments why cheating is wrong:

1. You'll give your girlfriend an STD if you sleep with a mistress and catch something.

- I'll obviously won't pick anyone to be my mistress (they need to be worth it). It'll be the beautiful, pretty young woman who isn't easy.
And since i'll always be wearing condoms as birth control, the chances of my mistress giving me something nasty is slim to none.

2. It'll break your girlfriend's heart if she finds out.

-True, but she won't find out. Like Chase said, i won't see her everyday, and she'll likely only be a 'secret lover' in the early stages of the relationship, as that's the best route to take. You'll have to be an idiot cause her to find out. (Though if she's my wife, then it's almost certain she'll find out one day as she will be with me all the time. So i won't cheat if i have a wife).

3. How would you like it if she did this to you?

-I wouldn't mind, because if she was as smart as me, i'll never find out.

4. It's morally wrong.

-Morals are subjective, and society shouldn't dictate how i live my life.


This is why, despite knowing cheating is wrong, when i see that amazing woman with the perfect body, i'll be torn. Torn between my penis and my heart. When that happens, my head is the judge. And if my head sees no rational reason to not cheat, then i will cheat.
But i don't want that. I want to know some good reasons so when i see the same woman, i can just say no.

Thank you for your help

 

[Franco]

Humay,

If you haven't given these articles a look yet, then you probably should. They should indirectly give you some insight on women, relationships, and cheating:

Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do and 7 Things NOT to Do

How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend

- Franco

 

[Thedoctor]

Humay,

I agree with you on your point regarding morals in that they are subjective. That being said I've always held a personal belief that the one of the most important parts of any interaction with people, whether social, sexual, or professional etc. is honesty. Even when I knew absolutely nothing about picking up girls, I was always a firm believer that lying to them was not the most efficient approach, as Chase has said on at least one post. So that's where I'm going with this; cheating is a form of lying. And if you have no problem with lying, then I suppose you've covered all other arguments on why it's "ok" to cheat. Not that I condone it. It's one thing that I sometimes have a hard time wrapping my head around due to the following points:

If you can't be exclusive, have an open relationship.

If you are exclusive and find yourself constantly thinking about other women, then maybe it's a sign you're not that attracted to the one you have.

If you do end up cheating, end it with her since things clearly aren't working. But be a gentleman and DON"T tell her. That will only ease your conscience and only cause her pain. No need to be selfish.

This is my personal view of it and I know it's an awfully touchy subject. But I hope sharing my perspective on the subject will help

-Doc

 

[Light]

This is really common sense stuff, but I guess I'll just have to highlight it.

Its not whether anything you do is right or wrong.

There is simply "Consequences to Every Action" that you take.

If you cheat, expect a certain consequences to follow. That is all there is.

Its not about right or wrong, or morals. Its about Cause and Effect.

 

[Humay]

But there won't be a bad consequence if she doesn't find out. And my guilt would be far outweighed by the rush of a new lover.

 

[Good Vibes]

But there won't be a bad consequence if she doesn't find out. And my guilt would be far outweighed by the rush of a new lover.

Guilt is a wasted emotion. Learn to get it out of you life completely. It will not help you improve your life in anyway.

 

[Estate]

I just feel it's about having ethics.

If you verbally commit to someone or something, they don't expect you to go back on that. That's why it's cheating, you're not living up to the agreement.

I think that's why PUAs (the good ones) advocate honesty. If you're going to be with multiple women, don't lead them on. Make them aware of your stance on a relationship at that time.

It's like when a professional athlete commits to a certain team but then the next day you find out his agent has accepted a better offer from another team. Sure, you CAN do it. You can't STOP someone from doing it. It is their free choice to go with what they feel is the option they want in that moment when presented with another opportunity... but it's about your character as a man. If you give a commitment to something, you should follow through on it, no matter what it is. And if you're not willing to give that commitment, you shouldn't do it.

That's just how I feel it is.

 

[Humay]

I think i understand. I wasn't thinking of cheating or anything, but i'll keep this in mind if the temptation arises when i'm in a relationship. I wouldn't want to cheat or ruin the relationship with the girl i love.

 

[Richard]

At this point in my life, cheating is only wrong in a committed relationship, with great emotional investment on both sides, because it is betraying a definite commitment and the whole morals, emotions argument... however, in a slow relationship, or just a whatever type of relationship, seeing other women is fine as long as you could handle it if she was doing the same. I have a lot of personal history with this, pros and cons