Women seeing themselves as the sexual prize

[DArtagnan]

Hi all,

In a recent post, @KJ Francis mentioned "That's great that your partner enjoys being told to fuck you harder. Personally I can tell you that when women have said this sort of thing to me, it is an active turnoff, same like being told to cum "for her".

This was eye-opening for me and hits home regarding my ex.

She had this attitude where she was somehow the sexual prize, a bit egotistical, a bit narcissistic even. The thing is that she also conforted me a lot sexually, and demonstrated sexual satisfaction. Because she showed both sides, it didn't look like a big problem at the time, but now I'm realizing that it did annoy me a bit, maybe more than I was conscious of.

She said things such as "cum for me", "come lick my vagina", "do you think she's beatiful" (her vagina). All of this even though I showed to her that I liked licking her vagina, non-verbally. At least I think I did.

The worst for me was when she brought her "ovulation period" in a very explicit manner, saying things such as "I'm ovulating right now, God I'm so fertile right now, God I'm such a hot woman right now, look at how my panties are covered in my ovulation liquids". These were very turn off for me.

I usually tried to handle all of this by simply ignoring it, and trying to give her a sexy time, yes, but not directly after one of these comments or requests, that is not following her lead. It didn't always work fine.

Do you also think that this was her framing her as the sexual prize, even trying to display some soft dominance towards me?

How do you guys handle this?

 

[empath]

Hi all,

In a recent post, @KJ Francis mentioned "That's great that your partner enjoys being told to fuck you harder. Personally I can tell you that when women have said this sort of thing to me, it is an active turnoff, same like being told to cum "for her".

This was eye-opening for me and hits home regarding my ex.

She had this attitude where she was somehow the sexual prize, a bit egotistical, a bit narcissistic even. The thing is that she also conforted me a lot sexually, and demonstrated sexual satisfaction. Because she showed both sides, it didn't look like a big problem at the time, but now I'm realizing that it did annoy me a bit, maybe more than I was conscious of.

She said things such as "cum for me", "come lick my vagina", "do you think she's beatiful" (her vagina). All of this even though I showed to her that I liked licking her vagina, non-verbally. At least I think I did.

The worst for me was when she brought her "ovulation period" in a very explicit manner, saying things such as "I'm ovulating right now, God I'm so fertile right now, God I'm such a hot woman right now, look at how my panties are covered in my ovulation liquids". These were very turn off for me.

I usually tried to handle all of this by simply ignoring it, and trying to give her a sexy time, yes, but not directly after one of these comments or requests, that is not following her lead. It didn't always work fine.

Do you also think that this was her framing her as the sexual prize, even trying to display some soft dominance towards me?

How do you guys handle this?

When a girl said to me I am hot like this

I smirked.

Raised my brows.

Gave a her a hard fucking.

While my hand at her mouth.

Until she was exhausted.

Shuts them for good.

She did not dare to say that again.

 

[Teevster]

Women are by default the prize - whether sexual or social. The role o the game (frame control) is to reframe the interaction and to make you the prize.

That's the swinggcat "theorem" basically. Mystery also had similar observation - in most cases women are higher value than men, and that's why you come in and DHV right? To change the dynamic.

-Teevster

 

[KJ Francis]

In my case I think it was more rooted in her self consciousness and feeling attractive. She was on the inexperienced side and I don't think she was as tuned into the dynamics of who's in charge or aware that she was setting that kind of frame verbally. I think it was more like "are you going to cum" BECAUSE of me / in response to me (not "for me") but that was just a more natural verbal phrasing.

In another case though the whole "fuck me harder" thing was preceded by "make me your bitch" right after I wall slammed her. That and some other examples seem to be more dominant and experienced women but they are wanting you to step it up a bit, not actually play into the frame of her directing. In these cases I think you need to find ways to take charge, like physically move her into different positions, and give verbal directions, like bend over things, get on her knees, etc. If she phrases a command like "put it in me", make her say please, etc.

I don't think I've ever been with someone who actively liked to be in charge.

 

[DArtagnan]

Thanks, I get it and there are some good tips here!

 

[Stark]

Women are by default the prize - whether sexual or social. The role o the game (frame control) is to reframe the interaction and to make you the prize.

That's the swinggcat "theorem" basically. Mystery also had similar observation - in most cases women are higher value than men, then that's why you come in and DHV right? To change the dynamic.

-Teevster

Often times you find the greatest piece of wisdom in a few sentences.

This a mandatory bookmark.

 

[POB]

In a recent post, @KJ Francis mentioned "That's great that your partner enjoys being told to fuck you harder. Personally I can tell you that when women have said this sort of thing to me, it is an active turnoff, same like being told to cum "for her".

My question: why do you care?

She can say whatever she likes about herself...as long as she's gagging with my cock in her mouth and screaming beaneath me while I pump the shit out of her, she knows what's up.

She said things such as "cum for me", "come lick my vagina", "do you think she's beatiful" (her vagina). All of this even though I showed to her that I liked licking her vagina, non-verbally. At least I think I did.

All this means she is really aroused by your presence...how is that a bad thing?

A lot of things you can do to keep that dynamic goin - all the while shifting the focus away from her, and putting it back into the interaction itself.
"come lick my vagina": turn her around and lick her ass instead
"do you think she's beatiful" (her vagina): "I think she is delicious"

When you are dominating her, go to her ear and whisper:
"now you'll do as you are told"...if she tries to say something back, you cover her mouth and keep fucking her harder
"who's my naughty princess that's being fucked right now?" and stuff like that, to bring together the whore and the princess she has inside her.

And in the middle of it all, you take short breaks and say stuff like "you look so beautiful when you are horny"
Women are pleasers and vanity creatures by nature...if she associates being horny with being beautiful (which is something that's probably been forbidden for her, cause for society to be a pretty woman you can't be sexually open) she will allow herself do it everytime she is with you.

You can also roleplay and put yourself as her sexual toy...it workers wonders for me.
When she decides to get on top: "so now you gonna use me? Come and fuck your whore then"
"Are you playing with your toy now? you don't even mind I'm here...you just want my cock don't you?" when she starts to play with it.

 

[KJ Francis]

That's the swinggcat "theorem" basically. Mystery also had similar observation - in most cases women are higher value than men, then that's why you come in and DHV right? To change the dynamic.

Often times you find the greatest piece of wisdom in a few sentences.

Great point! I posed a question to Mystery in his forum and mentioned Swinggcat's idea of prizing frames when referencing Teevster's sex talk gambits.

@DArtagnan if you want to read up on the girl's perception of relative social status in early game, page 157 of the Venusian Arts Handbook has a series of simple bar graphs to show the movement of your and her social status. I also like this diagram:

My question: why do you care?

She can say whatever she likes about herself...as long as she's gagging with my cock in her mouth and screaming beaneath me while I pump the shit out of her, she knows what's up.

also a good point! lots of great tips in your post I will remember. for me personally in the bedroom stage, I think it is ingrained deep in my psychology... if she says "fuck me harder" and I response directly to her compliance demand, it feels wrong without flipping the dynamic in some way. I think part of it is also learned behavior from the habit of reading the GC blog so much over the years. I am always thinking about frames and little subtle things.

Like one Chase tip is the balance of the words "I", "you", and "we". If her words are heavy on "I' statements, something is off. If the balance is tipped toward "you" in a text, it's a clue there is high interest and a possible escalation window even if the content of the words does not indicate that. So I think I might have made myself hypersensitive by building the habit of cluing into grammatical subtleties.

 

[OldGuy]

"Fuck me harder" means "You fuck me harder" with you the subject, so there is balance.

 

[POB]

also a good point! lots of great tips in your post I will remember.

No problem

for me personally in the bedroom stage, I think it is ingrained deep in my psychology... if she says "fuck me harder" and I response directly to her compliance demand, it feels wrong without flipping the dynamic in some way.

No no no...it means she is super horny and wants more!
Now you can give her more OR you can improve it by bringing her mind back to the moment
That's where you insert good dirty talk, roleplaying, teasing, etc

I think part of it is also learned behavior from the habit of reading the GC blog so much over the years. I am always thinking about frames and little subtle things.

Frames are used before bed....in bed it's just go time - with little verbal sprinkles here and there to spice things up

Like one Chase tip is the balance of the words "I", "you", and "we". If her words are heavy on "I' statements, something is off. If the balance is tipped toward "you" in a text, it's a clue there is high interest and a possible escalation window even if the content of the words does not indicate that.

For seduction.
For sex she can focus on whatever, as long as she is getting pleasure from you and acknowledging it from time to time.

So I think I might have made myself hypersensitive by building the habit of cluing into grammatical subtleties.

Snap out of it asap, it's doing you no favors.

 

[Will_V]

Women sometimes act bossy during sex to see what it'll do to you, especially when they're riding on top .. sometimes she'll grab a handful of your hair, try to give you commands, look at you intensely and start pounding down like she's fucking you and not the other way around lol.

The main thing is not to take it seriously, that means don't react or try and 'deal with it', nor go along with it (if you don't feel like it). I just chuckle and keep doing whatever I'm doing, and then at some point I'll flip her over and do whatever I want with her.

It's all part of the wonderful and curious dimensions of female nature.

PS women also tend to end up experiencing themselves as the submissive subject of their fantasies sooner or later, regardless of what role they start in .. so when she starts getting aggressive/dominant she'll usually end up being even more submissive than usual afterward, if you hold your frame.

 

[Skills]

Hi all,

In a recent post, @KJ Francis mentioned "That's great that your partner enjoys being told to fuck you harder. Personally I can tell you that when women have said this sort of thing to me, it is an active turnoff, same like being told to cum "for her".

This was eye-opening for me and hits home regarding my ex.

She had this attitude where she was somehow the sexual prize, a bit egotistical, a bit narcissistic even. The thing is that she also conforted me a lot sexually, and demonstrated sexual satisfaction. Because she showed both sides, it didn't look like a big problem at the time, but now I'm realizing that it did annoy me a bit, maybe more than I was conscious of.

She said things such as "cum for me", "come lick my vagina", "do you think she's beatiful" (her vagina). All of this even though I showed to her that I liked licking her vagina, non-verbally. At least I think I did.

The worst for me was when she brought her "ovulation period" in a very explicit manner, saying things such as "I'm ovulating right now, God I'm so fertile right now, God I'm such a hot woman right now, look at how my panties are covered in my ovulation liquids". These were very turn off for me.

I usually tried to handle all of this by simply ignoring it, and trying to give her a sexy time, yes, but not directly after one of these comments or requests, that is not following her lead. It didn't always work fine.

Do you also think that this was her framing her as the sexual prize, even trying to display some soft dominance towards me?

How do you guys handle this?

Women are sellers and men are buyers.. don't worry about being the prize (swing cat), it is a misunderstood seduction concept...and for the new environment is not even optional, new gen... anyways a woman telling what she likes and wants you to do sexually is a plus not a negative and should be encouraged.... don't worry about what other guy in the Internet sexual turned off is, worry about your own dick..