Women uncomfortable with touch

[LovelyDesires]

I went on a date with a girl who was uncomfortable with touches.

We went to play pool at a place, but it got renovated. So we took a detour to the park instead. While walking around 100 metres in and chatting about our university life and stuff,I just went to hug her. She was taken aback and had only her side facing me. My follow up line was not very good. " Cant resist myself because ur so cute". Did this another time later while we were standing beside a river near railings. By the end of the date, she was creeped out.

I fully understand that I was too aggressive.

Let us assume another scenario where I am more passive and withheld touch until I build up attraction with her near the river, where she was clearly comfortable and communicating. It would not have made a difference as the girl would still end up feeling uncomfortable. I would have creeped her out anyway.

And we all know that no touch = insufficient sexual tension (if you are a beginner)

So how do u attempt to even bed a girl without touching her? Anyway, whats a good follow up line when hugging/kissing?

 

[Skid]

Hey dude,

I don't think the issue here was that she was uncomfortable with touch its just the touch was abit calibrated :

chatting about our university life and stuff,I just went to hug her. She was taken aback and had only her side facing me.

Usually touch is associated with emotions and used to strengthen the effect of those emotions. So by my understanding were walking and having a normal conversation she doesn't have any strong emotions going on and then BLAM! you randomly try to hug her. Hugging is usually used as a method to greet someone close to you or say goodbye - or even console them if they are upset. So with that in mind its probs best if you just hug the girl at the start of a date when you say hi if you want to work on getting comfortable with hugging new people. That way you've already broken the touch barrier. But the best way to use touch is as a reward system - whenever she does or says something you like then touch her shoulder/arm and be like "oh , you're clever!"(after she tells you a story or something that implies she is clever as an example showing her you like clever girls). Doing things like this throughout the interaction will help you both become more comfortable with physical touch.

no touch = insufficient sexual tension

It's not you need touch to create sexual tension its just that when you are a beginner you need to touch early and often to :
1. Become for comfortable with touching girls in general because when you start out you literaly cannot suddeny pull a girl in and kiss her as it will be awkward due to your inexperience and lack of confidence. Touch is only awkward when you feel awkward about it.
2.Create touching between you and the girl you are currently with so you can escalate in a step by step manner

Let us assume another scenario where I am more passive and withheld touch until I build up attraction with her near the river, where she was clearly comfortable and communicating. It would not have made a difference as the girl would still end up feeling uncomfortable. I would have creeped her out anyway.

This is totally fine - what I usually do later in the date is sit somewhere quiet next to her and then ask to see her jewelry or tattoo or whatever. And escalate touch from here. The reason you think you will creep her out is because you are thinking you will creep her out. Just start small with things like touching her arm briefly early on and you'll see its totally fine. You can do things playful things with her like pinky swearing , thumb wrestling which will also help both of you feel for comfortable with physical touch.

Skid

 

[Smith]

Lovelydesires,

Firstly, touching is not the most important thing, so don't over think it. It's simple. Stand near her. If she lets you in her personal space, then touching is easy and less awkward. In my opinion, it's best not to think when and how you should touch, but I understand that if you're a beginner, you have to consciously choose to touch to make it a habit. There are a few important touches that will escalate the interaction. First one is holding her hands or caressing her hands. If she lets you do that, then you're good to escalate a bit further. The next one is intimate hugging, where you hold her by the waist when you're facing her and her body is touching yours, like what you usually see couples do. Sometimes you can skip this one and just kiss her if the moment is right. There is no set logical sequence for physical escalation. You just have to try it out and see what happens. The good thing is if you're having a good time, which is more important than anything else, then even if she resists your touch, she'll be happy that you desire her as a woman. It's in a woman's feminine nature to resist your advance and in your masculine nature to persist in a respectful way. That's a seduction dance.

Also, escalate while you're in a fun conversation. Just start holding her hand while you're sharing a story. Don't make it a big deal. Be smooth. Don't be clunky. Women love that. If at any moment, you see her eyes go "cold", just back off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBU8bFQBAto Your touch should be giving not taking. It's expressing your desire for her as a woman. If you're feeling weird and intense when you touch her, she's going to sense that. I found it best to take deep breath and stay present to the moment.

Hope this helps!