- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,055
@metalbird,
In every relationship, there is always one partner who wants to be there less than the other, even if just a bit.
Whichever partner that is is the one who dictates the flow of the relationship.
Just in general, it is my opinion that the man should always want the relationship less than the woman. If the last ember of freedom dies in a man's heart, he is no man any woman would want to hold onto.
www.girlschase.com
@Lover,
A few questions:
If your answers are NOT a.) 45+ minutes, b.) 12+ orgasms, c.) extremely hard orgasms, and d.) yes, girls often talk about how good the sex was, want to do it again, etc., especially during ovulation, then you need to read these articles:
www.girlschase.com
www.girlschase.com
www.girlschase.com
... as well as the one I linked above to Metalbird on resisting romantic taming.
Also pay attention to your fundamentals and make sure you are not "letting yourself go." Pay attention to hers as well and make sure she is also not letting herself go. If she is, you need to get on her to lose weight / dress better / act sexier with you. Make sure you are still being affection in the relationship but not chasing if she resists/rebuffs it. Etc.
There are basically three motivating factors in sex:
#s 1 and 2 are fully in your control. If the sex is really good and the woman views you as her untamed or barely tamed stallion, she will continue to want sex, generally.
If the sex is great but you are tamed, she will lose interest in sex. If you are untamed but the sex is not great, she will also lose interest in sex, though she will have more interest in mediocre sex with an untamed man than she will with great sex with a tamed man.
OTOH, if your answers are 45+ mins, 12+ orgasms, extremely hard orgasms, and she can't stop thinking about it or wants to do it again, then it isn't a performance or a taming problem, but a drive problem:
www.girlschase.com
www.girlschase.com
www.girlschase.com
The first thing to check is whether she is on hormonal birth control (pills, shots, implants, patches, hormonal IUD, etc.). These dampen women's sex drives and make them hornier for providers than lovers. They also screw up scent-based attraction (testosterone, MHC genes). If you need her to not get pregnant, use a copper IUD:
www.girlschase.com
If she the sex is great, you're clearly the untamed lover, and she's not on hormonal birth control, then you are probably just choosing women with mismatched sex drives to yours. The only thing you can do there is break up with the girl and screen for a more compatible girl next time, or else you either cannot do strict monogamy (e.g., have a mistress or girls you ONS on the side to meet unmet needs) or you will need to practice sexual transmutation / energy redirection if you really want to stay with the girl + keep it monogamous.
(another possibility is the heart-to-heart: "Baby, I'm just not getting it enough, and I am finding my eyes wandering and I think it's only a matter of time before I take another girl. I really want to just be with you but I'm just not getting it enough to satisfy my needs. What do you think we should do?" Then see what she says. But if it is due to performance or taming issues on your end, at best you'll just be able to fix it temporarily. Probably only so many times you can have that talk before she goes, "Fine, just go fuck some other girl! I don't care!" Which... well, you can do with that what you will)
Read the article on resisting romantic taming I linked earlier (heck, here's the link again). That is about avoiding totally passing the commitment point, into that "fully committed" zone.
Taming is reversible, but you are going to need a good reason for de-taming yourself. The general process is:
If you start noticeably de-taming yourself, that says to her there is a major crisis and a breakup is drawing nigh.
If I was you, I might want to start with the heart-to-heart about not being satisfied sexually, then work on de-taming any time she is still not sexually satisfying you (meanwhile hitting the brakes on that a bit when she is; don't want to punish good behavior).
Hope this helps!
Chase
In every relationship, there is always one partner who wants to be there less than the other, even if just a bit.
Whichever partner that is is the one who dictates the flow of the relationship.
Just in general, it is my opinion that the man should always want the relationship less than the woman. If the last ember of freedom dies in a man's heart, he is no man any woman would want to hold onto.
How Women Tame Men, Pt. 3: Resisting Romantic Taming
Every woman tries to tame men she’s interested in romantically. Often she’ll succeed. How do you avoid getting tamed too far by the women you want? Welcome to Part 3 in this series on how to remain untamed by women. If you’re just tuning in, ‘taming’ is a ubiquitous process women engage in with...
www.girlschase.com
@Lover,
A few questions:
- How long do you have sex for when you have it?
- How many orgasms do you give your girls?
- How hard are those orgasms?
- Do you get women telling you the sex was so good, that they can't stop thinking about last night, that they want to do it again, etc.?
If your answers are NOT a.) 45+ minutes, b.) 12+ orgasms, c.) extremely hard orgasms, and d.) yes, girls often talk about how good the sex was, want to do it again, etc., especially during ovulation, then you need to read these articles:
3 Steps to Help Her to Orgasm from Sex
In the article on actor-observer bias, a reader asks: “One thing I would like to ask is: could you by way of reply or as an article idea for the future write about how to give a girl an orgasm when she's never had them before? My girl has been with three or so guys before me and has never (not...
www.girlschase.com
Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less
I've had men ask me to write about my methods on how to make a girl orgasm since 2007, when I first mentioned the results I get with sex online... and I've always declined to write them. I didn't mind sharing what I did to pick up a girl. That's just a process. But sex... that's an experience...
www.girlschase.com
Tactics Tuesdays: Orgasm Stacking
Stack a girl’s orgasms together to enable more sexual fun. Use this tactic to help her cum in positions she often can’t… or to ratchet up sexy thrills. Want to get a girl cumming in a certain position, but you’re struggling to bring her to orgasm in that position? There’s a simple solution to...
www.girlschase.com
... as well as the one I linked above to Metalbird on resisting romantic taming.
Also pay attention to your fundamentals and make sure you are not "letting yourself go." Pay attention to hers as well and make sure she is also not letting herself go. If she is, you need to get on her to lose weight / dress better / act sexier with you. Make sure you are still being affection in the relationship but not chasing if she resists/rebuffs it. Etc.
There are basically three motivating factors in sex:
- How good the sex she expects to get is
- How sexy you are to her as a lover
- How high her sex drive is
#s 1 and 2 are fully in your control. If the sex is really good and the woman views you as her untamed or barely tamed stallion, she will continue to want sex, generally.
If the sex is great but you are tamed, she will lose interest in sex. If you are untamed but the sex is not great, she will also lose interest in sex, though she will have more interest in mediocre sex with an untamed man than she will with great sex with a tamed man.
OTOH, if your answers are 45+ mins, 12+ orgasms, extremely hard orgasms, and she can't stop thinking about it or wants to do it again, then it isn't a performance or a taming problem, but a drive problem:
Sex Drive Compatibility, Drive Collapses, & Relationship Sex Issues
You want to date someone long-term. But is she sexually compatible? Most people don't check… yet this is perhaps the #1 most important compatibility of all. I spoke recently with an experienced seducer who was having some issues with a girlfriend of his. The relationship had begun normally, with...
www.girlschase.com
How to Never Have a Sexless Relationship (the Sex Trump Card)
Over the years I've seen friends go through relationships where after a while their woman stops having sex with them. When it happens, the guy is shaken; his self-esteem slides hard. When a man needs something, and is denied it by the woman he thought was there to be his partner for that thing...
www.girlschase.com
8 Tradeoffs in Girls Men MUST Choose Between in LTRs
Choosing a partner for a long-term relationship presents tradeoffs. The more a girl is one thing, the less something else she may be. What will YOU choose? I’m a “have your cake and eat it too” type of guy. I do not like the idea of tradeoff much. If you’re having to make tradeoffs, maybe you...
www.girlschase.com
The first thing to check is whether she is on hormonal birth control (pills, shots, implants, patches, hormonal IUD, etc.). These dampen women's sex drives and make them hornier for providers than lovers. They also screw up scent-based attraction (testosterone, MHC genes). If you need her to not get pregnant, use a copper IUD:
The BEST Long-Term Contraceptives for Sexy Men
You’ve got a girl, but you don’t want to keep using condoms, and you don’t trust the pill. Use these 3 solutions to avoid an unplanned pregnancy with her. Sooner or later you’re going to get into a long-term relationship, if you’re not in one right now. When you do, you are going to run into the...
www.girlschase.com
If she the sex is great, you're clearly the untamed lover, and she's not on hormonal birth control, then you are probably just choosing women with mismatched sex drives to yours. The only thing you can do there is break up with the girl and screen for a more compatible girl next time, or else you either cannot do strict monogamy (e.g., have a mistress or girls you ONS on the side to meet unmet needs) or you will need to practice sexual transmutation / energy redirection if you really want to stay with the girl + keep it monogamous.
(another possibility is the heart-to-heart: "Baby, I'm just not getting it enough, and I am finding my eyes wandering and I think it's only a matter of time before I take another girl. I really want to just be with you but I'm just not getting it enough to satisfy my needs. What do you think we should do?" Then see what she says. But if it is due to performance or taming issues on your end, at best you'll just be able to fix it temporarily. Probably only so many times you can have that talk before she goes, "Fine, just go fuck some other girl! I don't care!" Which... well, you can do with that what you will)
Read the article on resisting romantic taming I linked earlier (heck, here's the link again). That is about avoiding totally passing the commitment point, into that "fully committed" zone.
Taming is reversible, but you are going to need a good reason for de-taming yourself. The general process is:
- Woman meets man.
- Woman tames man into relationship.
- Woman tames man into commitment.
- Man is now fully tamed.
- Man does not de-tame unless major crisis / breakup time.
If you start noticeably de-taming yourself, that says to her there is a major crisis and a breakup is drawing nigh.
If I was you, I might want to start with the heart-to-heart about not being satisfied sexually, then work on de-taming any time she is still not sexually satisfying you (meanwhile hitting the brakes on that a bit when she is; don't want to punish good behavior).
Hope this helps!
Chase
