163 girls fucked and still think of your 3 months relationship ?

[TomInHo]

Update for the passionate veterans who want to see how a playboy handles a tough situation:

I disappointed you guys. But we might not be over. Tough situation to be in as my man @TomInHo and my guy @Karea Ricardus D. Mentioned.


i met her friend and did not play to the best of my abilities. I implied (after her friend asked several times ) that I might get bored in time if the 40 year old girl banged other guys and simply leave.

this was a huge mistake and thought I was over with her but then I made her come all night long and saw her the night after to discuss.

She had texted me that she felt she could not met my expectations and that she wanted to be free, that she did not care about men and she wanted freedom.

But I had played my cards well overall during the dinner so think I am still in the game.

Keep in mind in my whole life I always had girls beg me for relationships, and had never stumble onto such an extreme case of chick. I have fucked more women than most guys will ever dream of and am VERY good with words. I have many alternatives in my life and am considered very good looking.

it’s just a tough situation to be in.

So I saw her yesterday and listened to her talking for 30 minutes applying the olive branch tactic.

Then I told her ‘ you are free to leave anytime with me and I want no gf - my goal s to keep it casual even though you and I care about each other.

Did this to lower her guard.

Ended up walking her home, and she said ‘ you mean a lot to me’.

Bullshit aside, I plan on not contacting her anymore and then if she contacts me stick to the 1:3 rule where I ask her out once every 3 times she asks me.

If she ever contacts me again, I will NEVER ever joke on her banging other guys or anything similar. I will never imply she is not 100% free

Maybe, this will work to have her ask me for fidelity in a Few months. Of course i am focused on other girls now but maybe she will come back to me texting me and want more from my time.

If she had a secure attachment style she would already be mine but since she is very avoidant and got out of a 15 years old marriage my question to the veterans is always the same.

If I do my thing and keep banging here while putting no pressure on her, will she ever come
To me and ask me for sexual exclusivity - even though she is avoidant ?

Is this doable ? I think she is as attached as she is to me but she does need to feel like she has complete freedom. As if she always had an exit door.

My doubt is , is our let her come to you
strategy going to work as well as if she had a secure attachment style to get her to chase you to become your girlfriend ? Can this strategy work with an attachment avoidant ?

I am already focused on other chicks and plan on taking the risk of leaving her space to suck other dicks, but wondering wether this has a high chance of working.

Honestly, move on. This girl is not for you

 

[topcat]

Update for the passionate veterans who want to see how a playboy handles a tough situation:

I disappointed you guys. But we might not be over. Tough situation to be in as my man @TomInHo and my guy @Karea Ricardus D. Mentioned.


i met her friend and did not play to the best of my abilities. I implied (after her friend asked several times ) that I might get bored in time if the 40 year old girl banged other guys and simply leave.

this was a huge mistake and thought I was over with her but then I made her come all night long and saw her the night after to discuss.

She had texted me that she felt she could not met my expectations and that she wanted to be free, that she did not care about men and she wanted freedom.

But I had played my cards well overall during the dinner so think I am still in the game.

Keep in mind in my whole life I always had girls beg me for relationships, and had never stumble onto such an extreme case of chick. I have fucked more women than most guys will ever dream of and am VERY good with words. I have many alternatives in my life and am considered very good looking.

it’s just a tough situation to be in.

So I saw her yesterday and listened to her talking for 30 minutes applying the olive branch tactic.

Then I told her ‘ you are free to leave anytime with me and I want no gf - my goal s to keep it casual even though you and I care about each other.

Did this to lower her guard.

Ended up walking her home, and she said ‘ you mean a lot to me’.

Bullshit aside, I plan on not contacting her anymore and then if she contacts me stick to the 1:3 rule where I ask her out once every 3 times she asks me.

If she ever contacts me again, I will NEVER ever joke on her banging other guys or anything similar. I will never imply she is not 100% free

Maybe, this will work to have her ask me for fidelity in a Few months. Of course i am focused on other girls now but maybe she will come back to me texting me and want more from my time.

If she had a secure attachment style she would already be mine but since she is very avoidant and got out of a 15 years old marriage my question to the veterans is always the same.

If I do my thing and keep banging here while putting no pressure on her, will she ever come
To me and ask me for sexual exclusivity - even though she is avoidant ?

Is this doable ? I think she is as attached as she is to me but she does need to feel like she has complete freedom. As if she always had an exit door.

My doubt is , is our let her come to you
strategy going to work as well as if she had a secure attachment style to get her to chase you to become your girlfriend ? Can this strategy work with an attachment avoidant ?

I am already focused on other chicks and plan on taking the risk of leaving her space to suck other dicks, but wondering wether this has a high chance of working.

I’m severely avoidant. I get along best with avoidant women with a slight pinch of anxious attachment which keeps them chasing.

To maintain a r’ship with an avoidant you have to give them an outstanding time in person, and make them recognize that you get them at a deeper level. Then you need to leave and give them all the space in the world. This arrangement works best if you are also avoidant as the space you give her is space you also need for yourself.

This girl’s turning you into an anxiously attached partner which will only drive her further away from you.

To win over an avoidant you need to be able to give them all the space in the world - even if that means you never see them again..

as @TomInHo says she ain’t for you. You guys are incompatible

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Keep in mind in my whole life I always had girls beg me for relationships, and had never stumble onto such an extreme case of chick.

Yup... That's why she has you by the mind and by the balls. Not cause she's so great. But because she's such a unique challenge. Great lesson here cause this works on women too. You gotta be the one guy they can't control.

I agree with TomInHoe, it's time to put 100% of your attention on new girls and let the chips fall where they may with this one. Even scheming more about her is already the wrong move at this point, because it's investing more in her while she's not doing that, and certainly not earned it.

Reminds me of the end of the movie Alfie, the 2004 version, yes? The uber player who dates models gets hung up on an older woman who's starting to get wrinkles and next thing you know she ends up breaking his heart. The game can be pretty ironic.

I think a more productive question at this point would be, you've been spinning the plates and focusing on girls you like more - not just a pure numbers game? And none of the new girls got your mind off her? In that case maybe it's time to cut contact and do the "out of sight, out of mind".

 

[nolimits]

Reminds me of the end of the movie Alfie, the 2004 version, yes? The uber player who dates models gets hung up on an older woman who's starting to get wrinkles and next thing you know she ends up breaking his heart. The game can be pretty ironic.

Funny enough my favorite movie.

 

[nolimits]

Guys just out of information:

The chick after I gave her the ‘ there ain’t no pressure speech’ and went cold turkey on her asked me to see her again.

So I met her.

the girl asked me if I want to go on a vacation with her this Christmas. She mentioned how she would also like to introduce me to her parents but won’t because they would hate me ( after she just went through a breakup and her - usually not so nice - parents appearently LOVED her ex husband

She offered to do the copywriting of a file I needed to send ( and then did it).

She told me I’m the only guy she is seeing without me asking for anything and my vibe being casual lately. Sure she might lie but that’s still better than if she did not say anything.

Keep in mind she did all of this without me acting pouty or needy. It was her idea. Not an answer to questions I asked.

So I followed chase advice and said, yeah we can do the vacation thing, why not.

So I’ll do the boyfriendy things IF she asks and if she doesn’t I’ll just act casual.

It’s funny how having a talk 2 weeks ago and simply telling her there was no pressure on her to commit and that I myself like her wasn’t sure I wanted a girlfriend on the very short term + giving her distance turned at least some of the cards around.

even if she bluffs on some of these things unless she is a manipulative person ( I don’t think that’s the case ) what is clear is that she is invested and likes me.

What I do not know is when @Chase says ‘when it’s clear that she sees you as a boyfriend, create scarcity‘ is how do you know that’s the case and how do you create scarcity.

Telling you this to say - at least we turned some of this dynamic around. I applied your strategy even if it took me a while.

Now on to apply what you guys told me from the beginning.

@Karea Ricardus D.

 

[topcat]

Guys just out of information:

The chick after I gave her the ‘ there ain’t no pressure speech’ and went cold turkey on her asked me to see her again.

So I met her.

the girl asked me if I want to go on a vacation with her this Christmas. She mentioned how she would also like to introduce me to her parents but won’t because they would hate me ( after she just went through a breakup and her - usually not so nice - parents appearently LOVED her ex husband

She offered to do the copywriting of a file I needed to send ( and then did it).

She told me I’m the only guy she is seeing without me asking for anything and my vibe being casual lately. Sure she might lie but that’s still better than if she did not say anything.

Keep in mind she did all of this without me acting pouty or needy. It was her idea. Not an answer to questions I asked.

So I followed chase advice and said, yeah we can do the vacation thing, why not.

So I’ll do the boyfriendy things IF she asks and if she doesn’t I’ll just act casual.

It’s funny how having a talk 2 weeks ago and simply telling her there was no pressure on her to commit and that I myself like her wasn’t sure I wanted a girlfriend on the very short term + giving her distance turned at least some of the cards around.

even if she bluffs on some of these things unless she is a manipulative person ( I don’t think that’s the case ) what is clear is that she is invested and likes me.

What I do not know is when @Chase says ‘when it’s clear that she sees you as a boyfriend, create scarcity‘ is how do you know that’s the case and how do you create scarcity.

Telling you this to say - at least we turned some of this dynamic around. I applied your strategy even if it took me a while.

Now on to apply what you guys told me from the beginning.

@Karea Ricardus D.

You gon’ learn the hard way bro..

 

[nolimits]

You gon’ learn the hard way bro..

Yeah might be man. Open to every possibility and of course am keeping a couple of hot chicks as FWB to get a faster rebound just in case.

But gun to my head not sure I’d say I’ll lose this one. Unless I’m completely naive and don’t know it.

Your take is she’s just lying ?

 

[Dreamer]

You gon’ learn the hard way bro..

*long thread obligatory musical intermission*

here (lyrics -> here)

now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

 

[topcat]

Yeah might be man. Open to every possibility and of course am keeping a couple of hot chicks as FWB to get a faster rebound just in case.

But gun to my head not sure I’d say I’ll lose this one. Unless I’m completely naive and don’t know it.

Your take is she’s just lying ?

Not necessarily lying, but i’d be suspicious nonetheless. You’ve made yourself out to be an easy mark thus far..

Let me explain -

She’s been wishy washy and difficult up to this point. Suddenly realizes she might be losing you(r attention) and so offers you an opportunity to prove your commitment to her. She hasn’t invested a damn thing mind you but offered one opportunity for you to invest and another backhanded wiff of an opportunity (“you should meet my parents, but you won’t cuz they won’t like you”).

This is not how an invested chick behaves.

I near guarantee you that this christmas trip will not materialize. You want it more than she does..

You should be testing her investment.

“trip sounds like a nice idea but i’ll have to have a think on it..why don’t you come over and let’s talk about it over a drink..”

If she won’t come, she’s not that into you bro.

“[parents wouldn’t want to meet you] lol you should trust their judgment”

Why are you so eager to wife this chick anyway bro? Since when do guys with abundance jump at an opportunity to go on a holiday with a half-invested, wishy washy chick?

Test her compliance, reward her compliance, or punish any lack of compliance with silent disinterest. Ruthlessly. Then you might go someway in flipping the dynamic..

Right now you’re her puppy dog.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Test her compliance, reward her compliance, or punish any lack of compliance with silent disinterest. Ruthlessly. Then you might go someway in flipping the dynamic..

Word...

 

[nolimits]

Hey guys. I’ve OFFICIALLY ended this experiment with the chick and sent her farewell.

Couldn’t stand this bullshit anymore.

And topcat was spot on on his analysis.

I was convinced that if you are a high quality man once you bang a chick a bunch of times you have her all for you. It’s always been like that for me in the past.


And in fact, with beautiful/sane girls, that’s how things work.
But then I recalled that this girl had about 15 (no exaggeration) of the Orange and red signals that chase says one should watch out for in his article on crazy girls.

And yeah - to me if a girl who’s attached to me wants to sample other cocks is simply not tolerable. I just don’t consider it healthy behavior.

So yeah - I called it a day.



Thanks to everyone who took the time to advise me. My analysis is that had the girl been mentally healthy (this one took antidepressants and Xanax and was still married to her ‘ ex ‘ husband ) I would have made it work.


But again she was NOT healthy for had she been it I would not have found myself in such a situation (where she basically ghosted me after 3 months of fun and intense ‘ realtionship’)
The lessons :



1 don’t date a girl who has red signals all over, ESPECIALLY if you’re a playboy.



You will overestimate your ability to make her change.



2 if a girl cuts you out from your life without good communication do not forgive that.



3 if you want to give a second chance to an ex girlfriend who misbehaved don’t. But if you do, she needs to come to you first - so you can strive to impose your conditions from the very beginning.



4 girls who want to be your girlfriends will show it pretty quickly from the beginning. The times in my life where that did not happen after the fourth outing always ended up terribly (and were with crazy girls )



5 a girl who wants to sample other sausages while hanging out with me, disgusts me ( not being judgmental it’s how it feels )



When I called this girl again to see why she texted me and try and get her back she told me she was on dating apps and that she LOVED it.



I should not have met her anyway, after listening to this shit.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Hey guys. I’ve OFFICIALLY ended this experiment with the chick and sent her farewell.

Couldn’t stand this bullshit anymore.

And topcat was spot on on his analysis.

I was convinced that if you are a high quality man once you bang a chick a bunch of times you have her all for you. It’s always been like that for me in the past.


And in fact, with beautiful/sane girls, that’s how things work.
But then I recalled that this girl had about 15 (no exaggeration) of the Orange and red signals that chase says one should watch out for in his article on crazy girls.

And yeah - to me if a girl who’s attached to me wants to sample other cocks is simply not tolerable. I just don’t consider it healthy behavior.

So yeah - I called it a day.



Thanks to everyone who took the time to advise me. My analysis is that had the girl been mentally healthy (this one took antidepressants and Xanax and was still married to her ‘ ex ‘ husband ) I would have made it work.


But again she was NOT healthy for had she been it I would not have found myself in such a situation (where she basically ghosted me after 3 months of fun and intense ‘ realtionship’)
The lessons :



1 don’t date a girl who has red signals all over, ESPECIALLY if you’re a playboy.



You will overestimate your ability to make her change.



2 if a girl cuts you out from your life without good communication do not forgive that.



3 if you want to give a second chance to an ex girlfriend who misbehaved don’t. But if you do, she needs to come to you first - so you can strive to impose your conditions from the very beginning.



4 girls who want to be your girlfriends will show it pretty quickly from the beginning. The times in my life where that did not happen after the fourth outing always ended up terribly (and were with crazy girls )



5 a girl who wants to sample other sausages while hanging out with me, disgusts me ( not being judgmental it’s how it feels )



When I called this girl again to see why she texted me and try and get her back she told me she was on dating apps and that she LOVED it.



I should not have met her anyway, after listening to this shit.

Great to see you reach this conclusion man. You missed a critical step though:

6. Let the girl chase the relationship at their own pace

I’d argue that if you did that right, you would of avoided a lot of the issues you faced.

Saying that as a guy who actively dates “red flag” girls

 

[nolimits]

I’d argue that if you did that right, you would of avoided a lot of the issues you faced.

yeah. Or avoided the thing altogether for the chick might not have given chase. Which is two way of winning and none of losing.

I’m pretty sure I was her rebound guy whom she chose to spend the summer together. Hard position to negotiate from.


What I’ve learn is if a girl has a pace of ‘ I still want to screw other guys for a year or two and then maybe settle with someone ‘
I don’t consider that chick super healthy’.

 

[nolimits]

Saying that as a guy who actively dates “red flag” girls

Why is that ?

 

[topcat]

What I’ve learn is if a girl has a pace of ‘ I still want to screw other guys for a year or two and then maybe settle with someone ‘
I don’t consider that chick super healthy’.

They only say this because they haven’t met the right guy yet.

The moment she runs into a dude that does it for her this mission goes out the window, and she’s trying to lock him down..

Your only problem is you wanted her exclusivity more than she wanted yours and you advertised it..

As @DoWhatWorks said, you would’ve have known a completely different girl had you made her chase the r’ship.

 

[topcat]

Why is that ?

As a fellow dater of red flag women - they’re more fun, stimulating, challenging, vexing and talented in the bedroom (and often outside of it too).. right out the box..

 

[nolimits]

Not saying the opposite. I’m saying this chick was banging other dudes and most of the girls I’ve met in the past stopped doing that way earlier into the relationship. With me acting exactly the same every single time. So there is an individual difference at play. Add to that the anti depressants this chick takes and you have a tough situation to deal with.



The other time this year where something similar happened to me was with a girl who was big on cocaine and drugs… might be a coincidence but worth keeping this in mind.



Ps in the end I would have had to accept that this girl would bang other men for quite a while, when a lot of the girls I usually meet do not have that desire. I’ll let this chick to an attachment avoidant guy. Me I can’t stand the thought of sharing for more than a month or two.

they’re more fun, stimulating, challenging, vexing and talented in the bedroom

yeah. I agree on that with you.

they are Less ideal for the fans of her being monogamous though. I know you are avoidant so might be different for ya

 

[topcat]

yeah. I agree on that with you.

they are Less ideal for the fans of her being monogamous though. I know you are avoidant so might be different for ya

100%

I’m starting to believe there are chicks we are built for and chicks we aren’t. A big part of this seduction journey is figuring out who they are..

On to the next my friend

 

[nolimits]

By reading a few chase articles, I’m realizing what was my problem with this chick and the whole reason she ghosted on me during the summer.

she had a troubled past (some abuse and a lot of negligence) and I was treating her as a normal chick.

Her husband treats her incredibly poorly. And sometimes nicely. He did not even fuck the chick.

She’s still addicted to this guy - I wasn’t willing to treating her poorly ( and did not realize that was a potential issue I was facing).


But yeah - now it’s time to hit those streets again.

 

[Vitalist]

comes down to the 3 fuck rule 0 and i mean 0 to do with place to live..

What's 3 fuck rule 0?