Altair's journey, lets give it another go, help appreciated.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I have been told by others that I haven't shown enough progress and such by going out there taking action. I also understand that I have been perhaps whining too much but guys, I had a lot of unfavorable circumstances growing up that have led to me being how I am. But I can't whine, this is a thread where I will share my daily experiences regarding women and in turn hope that experts on here help me along the way.

In past field reports I have whined a lot and they have got locked due to my whining. Right now I am in a bigger city where I have found women much more approachable and nice than the terrible college town I was in where everything was so cliquish and tight. Since I can't blame that anymore, I am going to share with you guys what I have done recently.

I think that given I am no longer in that highly cliquish college setting, this might be better for me but I feel that GC can offer me help along the way here.

Current situation:

After spending some time after college job hunting and having to deal with family drama, I have a full time job and live on my own in a big city. I am liking life a lot more now and feel happier every week but this guy being a virgin in his 20s tag has to go away.

I have set up online dating profiles on Coffee Meets Bagel, Tinder, OkCupid, and Bumble. So far, no luck at all on Tinder and Bumble (literally zero luck) but I have had some luck with Coffee Meets Bagel, got a couple messages. OkCupid has been real good to me so far, a high response rate of nearly half the girls responding but no luck in getting any of them to meet up.

Most recent approach:

Happened this afternoon as I was heading to a large gym like half a mile away from where I live, can easily walk there. I was walking into the gym as I saw this hot blonde in a white tanktop walk my way. I approached her and asked her a dumb question about how crowded the gym is looking, very indirect but I don't want to come off as the PUA creep either.

The chat was short, she seemed friendly, but I feel like I could have done so much more. She is a nurse and was my type too. She was smiling, nice, shook my hand, and was cool to chat with but I didn't want to make that jump from cool guy to chat with to a PUA.

What is getting me...

It has to be the opener and holding the convo itself.

Tough to come up with a decent opener but not just that, I feel like I don't stay in there long enough and find myself shying away from the convo as it begins. Too scared to number close right off the bat which is getting me but its good too because so many of the girls I see at the gym seem to be regulars.

Music festival coming up this weekend a couple miles away from where I live so that should give me a lot of good opportunities.

I feel like in the past couple months I am just getting into the swing of things so there is that awkwardness but I also feel more at ease since girls are so much friendlier in the city as opposed to the college town where I would get ignored right off the bat.

What I would like out of this.

I am hoping some expert on the level of Franco, Chase, or any of the senior members can guide me along.

Didn't want to put this in journals since it doesn't feel like anyone would check and I hate this to be just a dairy, I feel like I really need some guidance and this can happen...

 

[andersen09]

It's easy for anyone to say "stop being a bitch and go do something". But it's hard to have empathy for someone because most people just really don't know how to understand you. But I truly believe that every person needs to be understood of where they're coming from before being provided direction.

With that being said, here's some practical steps you can take to get yourself out of victim mentality cause it's more than 'just stop being a bitch'

1. Look for people who went through their own struggles and have become inspirations to other people.
For me it was Joseph son of Jacob's story. Joseph is the 12th youngest half brother who gets betrayed by his 11 other brothers and gets sold to slavery. And he goes through his whole life being beaten, treated unfairly, and all of those struggles.

*Eminem - the only white guy who came out of a black neighborhood. Mocked by his own white peers as a 'wigga'. (Watching 8Mile)

*I recommend 50 cent's book 50th law. In that book there's a chapter that talks about the times when 50 cent got shot 9 times and all the record labels dropped him and how he overcame that and that was the entrance to developing his character strength.

*And there are genuine guys who are seeking to improve as well.

And I want to end with this. Very few people are chosen to go through paths that no-one understands. So that you can become the few that someday leads others who may be in a similar situation as you, so that you may serve them as an inspiration.

This mentality can help you see your life as something in stages instead of seeing it as something permanent from your past.
See your past of getting ignored more of a stage as in 'this is where I was because of who I was; so let's see what this chapter is going to be in my new life' and this will take discipline. But if you have faith in the process it'll help.



Sincerely,

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Dude you still don't get it... If you want to be taken srsly, stop talking. Go approach plenty of girls, get dates, kiss, and fuck some girls. Then come and say, "ok guys, I've done this, this, and that. Where do I go from here?"

I don't think YOU get it slay, when I said experts I meant the likes of a Franco or Chase or someone on that level, you don't know shit and quite frankly for you to come into my thread causing problems shows me you don't have much else to do with your fucking life. If you have no value to offer to this thread and no advice to give, why not post? Where is your reading comprehension at? You are single handedly the most annoying user on this forum because you can't read for shit, I said on my thread that I am going to approach girls but want advice along the way.

Please get lost Slay, you don't know shit and you are simply an annoying guy. I could give less of a shit about ever being taken seriously by you, me or most on this forum, now fuck off.

 

[Raqimus]

Altair don't disregard Slay because you don't like him, he has posted field reports and lays. That being said, what are your fundamentals like? How is your posture? can you post a picture or two without your face and just your posture? Can you make a short video of how you would walk? How does your voice sound? Whats your clothing like? Maybe record a short audio clip or something?

Also, yes your giving it another go, but your still mentioning stuff you don't need to We don't care that your a 20 year old virgin, and you mention your past again, which i understand is how you explain on not doing it but no need. Good job on getting started, start recording some of these approaches in the field reports section in a journal. If you want some info on how one should look. Look at my journal or rays, or any of the other tagged ones with a lot of views to give you an idea.

I have been told by others that I haven't shown enough progress and such by going out there taking action. I also understand that I have been perhaps whining too much but guys, I had a lot of unfavorable circumstances growing up that have led to me being how I am. But I can't whine, this is a thread where I will share my daily experiences regarding women and in turn hope that experts on here help me along the way.

" Right now I am in a bigger city where I have found women much more approachable and nice than the terrible college town I was in where everything was so cliquish and tight. Since I can't blame that anymore, I am going to share with you guys what I have done recently."
Still a little bit whiney but ends positively, good your making a change.

" I had a lot of unfavorable circumstances growing up that have led to me being how I am. But I can't whine, this is a thread where I will share my daily experiences regarding women and in turn hope that experts on here help me along the way."

Still a little bit of whiney but ultimately positive in the end good, shift your mindset.

You made progress posting that interaction with the blond but try to include more details. Like actual dialouge, did she shift when you said x? Were her legs or arms crossed, was she glancing to the left or up to break eye contact? look at details like that. Read peoples FR's and FU's not just LR's.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

So I head to the gym today, saw the same blonde I saw yesterday but no luck in getting her to approach me or getting any invitations for one, she pretended like I wasn't there. I just went on and handled my business as usual instead of worrying too much about it, guess she was busy.

Came out of the gym, see athletic brunette with a pony tail and look for IOIs upon making eye contact, none there. Dick was hard and wanted to approach but didn't. Zero matches on Tinder and Bumble has been playing mind games on me, big big mind games! Weekend is rolling around, should come back with more approach info soon.

Until then, any good idea for openers? I am thinking just a good afternoon or good morning would do right?

Edit:

Raq sorry bro, I try to keep my face off of this site because I want to have my privacy in that regard.

 

[Hue]

Altair,

Great to see that you're getting yourself out there, hitting the gym, and warming up to approaching.

I've never really done much with gaming at the gym, but if you think you'll be experimenting there, read this if you haven't already.

Until then, any good idea for openers? I am thinking just a good afternoon or good morning would do right?

I've found that contextual openers feel the most natural and not as PUA, but can also be too indirect if I don't connect or move her.

Do your best with overcoming that approach anxiety bro, it will eventually go away with experience!


Hueman

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Tinder and Bumble have been depressing the fuck out of me, zero matches on both.

It just started pouring rain in my area an hour ago despite being nice and sunny all day. See no one outside but I hear the rain will clear up in like half an hour so I will go out then.

Weekend is rolling around so I hope I get something on those apps but fuck I am getting wrecked on them hard!

The weekend is nothing but nice and sunny weather so I'll be out hitting day game but for tonight, I am planning on hitting the bars with a couple of my friends to see how that goes!

 

[alleniverson]

Altair,

One thing I would stress to you is positivity and touch. Those are two things that I have thought about a lot recently that have worked wonders for my game. Tease her and maybe put her hand on her arm. Hold her hand that extra second when meeting her, and don't shake it like a business meeting but with your palm facing upward and just hold it.

I have a few friends who get ridiculous amounts of ass in part because they bring great energy and positivity to the conversation. I think if you live your overall life like this and train yourself to try to be in that mood all the time, you will get better reactions from people socially overall and it will give you momentum to get your first lay. Don't try to be Harrison Ford. Meeting a girl and ending up having sex with her can be a lighthearted process.

I say all this not having read all your posts so I'm not sure if my advice is changing something you're doing wrong, but what I'm saying cannot hurt.

Most importantly get out there and keep hitting on girls and talking to just everyone with a good mentality, and things can happen for you that you will not expect.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Altair,

I respect your effort and initiative and persistence.

But I've been through your posts, and you had a lot of very senior guys here giving you plenty of good advice. All that could be said, had been already said. Anything that could possibly be said would just be a repetition of what have already been said.

Why don't you go back through all your posts, and reread the countless advice you received. And try to learn from it.

Read and understand what you've been told here, with an open mind. Re-read relevant articles in GC. Digest the ideas and own them. And start helping yourself.

And forget about your particular circumstances. All of us here have particular circumstances. We all learned to deal with them, and eventually overcome them. Just stay positive. Ultimately it is all in the mindset.

Good luck
Seppuku

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Crazy day so far guys.

Started off with a morning jog and as I was walking around, noticed that

So I got 10 matches on Tinder today after upgrading to Tinder Plus but 3 were bots. I ended up getting a text from one of my matches (hot 25 year old brunette with blue eyes, seemed legit) when I was shopping at a Trader Joes today. So as I am doing that I accidentally bump into this cute blonde with a nice fat booty and she smiles, it was a cute little incident lol, and we chat a bit after it but I don't escalate. She seemed into it but I felt like I might have left the convo way too soon, wanna know how?

When I was walking away she kept looking back at me smiling, it was an awkward situation for me because I had just received 3 texts from 3 different matches on Tinder (2 of them were hot).

I am happy this situation happened but felt like I missed big time with the blonde I met at a Trader Joes, should have tried to close her because she seemed into it and was my type too. Nice cute face and a big fat booty to go with it, so fuckable.

If I had not had the pressure on me to respond to my Tinder matches, I would have tried to close her.

Then I realized that the hot brunette lives too far away from me so when I tried to talk to her, asking her where we should meet up, she unmatched. Classic mistake! Men LEAD!

Still chatting with one of the Tinder matches that is hot, the rest are plain looking and just not my type but I'll see what I can work out.

One of the matches is a cute redhead, also learning my local Trader Joes is a gathering spot for hot girls!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Approached a cute brunette at my apartment today and just chatted her up for a bit, she was friendly but only 19 years old. I am starting to think that to some extent, there is truth to the whole younger girls being nicer to older guys sort of deal. Make the mistake once again of leaving the interaction too early, that's my problem right now.

I get into them, chat, it goes well, but I can't continue them or push for a number close or anything. I guess I am just getting into the hang of it all.

So I leave but then there is like this wall behind the brunette, I go there, it's not a building or anything, and I could literally hear her talking on the phone saying "so I just talked to some random guy". Made me lol.

Forgot to buy a couple of grocery items at Trader Joes, heading out in a few minutes, might run into some hotties given how it is Sunday.

Until then, all advice appreciated.

A few of my Tinder matches have unmatched me and I am finding logistics to be an issue right now. I have 4 matches left, all 4 are ugly and not worth it.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Before I go,

I was going to post a separate thread about this but I been posting too many threads anyways so too late for that I guess.

Does anyone else notice a strong correlation between the amount of hot girls and the grocery store chain?

I used to shop at Walmart for my groceries and it was nothing but trailer trash, fresh off the boat immigrants, and ratchet people. Switched from there to Trader Joes, I see girls 7 and up every single time I go and they are open to being approached.

Feel free to comment!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Back from Trader Joes and I will get right to the approaches, before I do though, oh my god! Sunday night at a nice grocery, I saw so many hot girls there, counted 10, 4 were blonde bombshells.

Approach 1

See this one girl with a blonde ponytail and a Dolphins hate, total stunner. I had to make the approach like right on the spot, go up to her and ask her where I could find some tomatoes. That's right, all I could come up with was tomatoes......

Girl smiles but seemed shocked that I approached her, it was a laughing wtf kind of look, she seemed scared and I think I might have come on too strong. Short conversation because all I could do was ask her where the freaking tomatoes were, fucking tomatoes man fucking tomatoes.....

It was a short conversation, complimented her on the dolphins hat, asked her if she is from Miami, she says no she is just wearing the hat. She was smiling but once again, I leave the whole convo too soon.

10 minutes later see her heading out or about to, ask her if she is looking for the shortest line too, she laughs (says yes) and then shakes her head in a somewhat disapproving sort of way to let me know I fucked up.

Approach 2

See tall blonde with a nice tan and cute face, at least an 8, looked like Erin Heatherton and was almost my height. Go up to her and I could not come up with much to say so in a noobish way I tell her I am new to Trader Joes and if she knows where I can find the bags. She smiles, looks, grabs my bicep (not to brag or anything but I lift so I have huge biceps), and points me to the place with a smile on her face.

And like a newb, I go without actually trying to keep the approach going.

Lessons learned.....

1. Obviously, girls in big city are way more approachable than girls in a college town. Can easily get into convos instead of getting blown out 24/7 like I did in my college town for even talking to a girl.

2. I really need to stick through these and maybe go for the number close if I can, if that is doable at a grocery store, should be.

And a request for GC

If any of you know of any go to openers, please post them on this thread, I'll google some on my own too but I'd like to hear from the experts, yes, even you Hector.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Had to put this up as more of a dear dairy sort of thing.

I was wondering when that hot blonde I approached with the dolphins hat shook her head and laughed, whether she found me to be a joke at the very start. Whether she went home and told her friends that some brown skinned guy, she probably thought I was Indian, approached her and tried to talk to her and then had a fun laugh with her friends about it. Maybe she went home and told her friends "so some raghead approached me at a store!".

Comes to show that I have been reading the forum for too long and am starting to believe some of my own negative thoughts, it just kinda dawned on me in like the last hour. In some ways I am happy I got the balls to approach tonight and the second blonde that grabbed my bicep, well that was a strong IOI.

I think eventually I will get to a point with this where this crap doesn't bother me. Like I might get to a point where even if a hot blonde looks at me and says "get away, I don't like brown people", I would laugh that off and just keep on moving with my life because I have developed a good abundance mentality.

Got work very early tomorrow so night guys!

 

[Richard]

I'm genuinely curious about something, Altair, as I've been reading through some of your more recent posts. Far be it from me to determine what is good or bad for somebody but based on how you're talking about "blonde" women I think you're taking an unhealthy approach to dealing with a bigger problem. There are problems that people innately have to deal with; the two you seem to be struggling with are self-esteem and isolation/relationships.

I was wondering when that hot blonde I approached with the dolphins hat shook her head and laughed, whether she found me to be a joke at the very start. Whether she went home and told her friends that some brown skinned guy, she probably thought I was Indian, approached her and tried to talk to her and then had a fun laugh with her friends about it. Maybe she went home and told her friends "so some raghead approached me at a store!".

Nothing justifies creating a story or dialogue like that; that's rooted in a deep insecurity and it definitely seems like "I'm not good enough" and every time a blonde rejects you I'm guessing that insecurity hits home and is reinforced. Basically, you're using blonde women as a measure of your self worth, have internalized this idea that you'll never be good enough to pull blonde women, and that perpetuates this cycle of not feeling good enough; so the real question is why are you choosing to keep doing this?

You don't seem to be attracted to blonde women because they're actually attractive to you, you seem to be attracted to them because of what pulling one would do for you which is cover up your insecurities. You're relying on them to solve your problems. Those women (not blondes specifically, but all high value women) won't be attracted to you, not because you're Indian, but because you're not comfortable in your own skin and that seems to be a culturally ingrained problem for Indian men but I'm not sure why. Anyway, the solution isn't "pull these women so my problems go away" it's "demolish my problems so these women are attracted to me."

Of course, all of this would be dependent on your being able to look at yourself introspectively and decide if this is true or not; I've talked to enough people and helped enough people through their problems to have developed a sense for this and it's kind of staring at me in the face as I read what you write. Anyway, I'm not writing this to bash you in any way I'm more genuinely concerned that you're trying to take a shortcut to solving your problems and it won't happen the way I think you're going, I'd love to see you take an introspective look at yourself and realize this and develop a new appreciation for life or women.

-Richard

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I will say this before I head out to work.

Chase, as you can see, this thread was all about the actions I have taken and sure I have had some minor slips but all I asked in return was guidance along the way with the approaches themselves. Richard came in with the whole "but you need therapy" stuff instead of actually giving guidance with what was relevant, talking about how I don't even need sex or to have success with women.

All I have wanted out of this thread is relevant advice in regards to action I can take with my approaches so if this thread spirals out of control and turns into pointless bickering, then this is a post to let you and Franco know that I was not responsible for this, Richard was the first to start against talking me out of my journey and trying to sell me on therapy.

Ideally Chase, I would like it if you or Franco could simply point out errors in my approaches and lead me down the right way because I want actionable advice that is relevant to this thread, not someone trying to sell me on self-help books which once again, no offense to Richard, I have read plenty of. I don't want advice that tells me to sit in my fucking room all day to my own thoughts, read books, and talk to some shrink; I've done enough of all of that in recent years (except talking to a shrink).

I want relevant advice that deals with taking action relevant to what this thread was started for.

Richard, the shortcut is sitting through garbage therapy and reading books while being shut off in my room to my own thoughts as the days fly, I've done that enough which is why I am still a virgin in my 20s.

The right path is actually going out there and having success with this, which is the tougher thing to do and farther from a shortcut.

If you want to give advice on approaches go for it but if you want to preach to me about identity issues and pesudo-psychology and please take that somewhere else. I do not want this to turn into the typical "woe is me" thread, which is why I am hoping Chase and Franco come in to actually give relevant advice about the approaches.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Actually Richard is pretty spot on here. I've been through the same stuff. Took a lot of internal work, including therapy and massive cognitive realignment. None of the external stuff will make a difference until you figure out the internal stuff. Even if you perfect the external process the internal mindset will always cause unintented fuck ups and will further reinforce the bad mindsets. The quote Richard pulled is a perfect example.

External process is 10-15% of game. Internal mindsets are 85-90% of game, and ultimately it's the only thing women care about and test for ruthlessly, including your beloved blonde bombshells. Fix the internal stuff, and the external part will flow.

The one thing you don't seem to be doing is listening to anybody, or anybody who doesn't say what you want to hear or feel.
Case in point:

Ideally Chase, I would like it if you or Franco could simply point out errors in my approaches and lead me down the right way because I want actionable advice that is relevant to this thread,

I know your first temptation is going to be to refute or justify this, or deny, or argue against whatever i just wrote =P. We are all trying help you, man. Just listen.

 

[Richard]

Altair,

I think that your personality and perspective is pretty toxic and off-putting. You need to take a serious look at half of what you say and look at it objectively, the way you say and write things says a lot about who you are and it's not a man that women who are 8s+ want; you CAN become that man but you AREN'T that man yet.

Nowhere did I say don't have sex or succeed with women, I have no idea where you got that from. I'm saying be careful about why you want those things (every guy wants to have sex and wants to succeed with women) because if you're using women (blonde women) to cover up your insecurities then you're missing out on the women who are BEST for you, in other words, you're wasting your time on women who will never fully provide what you want.

Let me give you an example; I used to be attracted to women who were "damaged" because they would rely on me more, stick around, and that gave me a sense that I was "good enough," but those relationships eventually ripped me apart and I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on... until I took an introspective look at things and figured it out. The moment I got past that core issue of "not being good enough" I started to develop real relationships with women.

But, maybe you aren't at that point yet because you haven't had sex or enough relationships to be able to look at these things introspectively. Anyway, that was the point I'm making and, in no way was it don't approach or succeed with women; succeed with the right kind of women, the women who are best for you.

The opener I use most is "Hey, I saw you walking and thought you were cute so I had to come introduce myself" or some variation of. Beyond that I only approach women who stand out to me for some particular reason, I identify that reason and make compliment around it because it's genuine. I'm a big fan of direct day game and if you can tackle that beast then you're ready for all kinds of situations with women.

EDIT: Read through some more stuff and I get a strong sense that you have zero-minimal social calibration because it shows up, again, in how you write and respond to things. Internet forums and "Group" settings are a microcosm that reflect people's place in the world and you're very off-putting and negative and that pushes people away (especially women). When Hector goes on a tirade directed at you guys complaining about game and white women, it has a legitimate purpose that you guys are failing to see and acknowledge. The consensus I'm seeing is that you guys, at the moment, are beyond help and are so deep in the hole that there is no climbing out easily because you guys won't listen and your vision is just too narrow.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

The old me would have argued with Richard and GP in paragraphs but I think that it is time I show to Chase, Franco, and the few who do want to help me with what this thread was intended for that I am different. I understand that Richard and GP have their own plans for what they want out of my life and that conflicts with what I want out of my life. This is vaguely similar to how my ethnic parents attempted to shove down a certain path against my wishes and as a result, I had to rebel.

I also admit that I was at fault for making the post about how the blonde I approached could have been racist, that was my fault and opened up an undesirable can of worms.

This could easily turn into a thread where we all argue back and forth, eventually making Chase or Franco lock it so I will keep it very simple, the point of this thread is to help me get laid and provide me pointers along the way with my fundamentals, what matters to me is just that and taking action (in this case approaching women) is what I need in life. But this thread can go multiple paths:

1. I do score with the kinds of girls I like thanks to help of regulars here guiding me with my fundamentals and best of all, I get to share my success with the very people who have seen the picture of my depressed life in the past.

2. Pointless bickering causing Chase or Franco to lock the thread and me to not get the guidance with my goal that I need, I will do my best to keep a cool head. I'll eventually have to leave this forum and somehow find a way to luck out on my own which I am confident I will be able to eventually do.

After all some of you have been through with me, I would really like for number 1 to happen.

Even though Richard has suggested a path I am simply not open to, I would like to take this post to thank him for this:

The opener I use most is "Hey, I saw you walking and thought you were cute so I had to come introduce myself" or some variation of. Beyond that I only approach women who stand out to me for some particular reason, I identify that reason and make compliment around it because it's genuine. I'm a big fan of direct day game and if you can tackle that beast then you're ready for all kinds of situations with women.

As for the enlightenment Dalai Lama stuff that has been proposed on here, I am just not open to taking that sort of advice, seeking therapy, or any of that stuff; you can say I much rather learn that lesson the hard way so posts about that will simply fall on deaf ears, you guys are free to use all the paragraphs you want to try and convince me otherwise but lets be real, we all rather see this happen:

1. I do score with the kinds of girls I like thanks to help of regulars here guiding me with my fundamentals and best of all, I get to share my success with the very people who have seen the picture of my depressed life in the past.

 

[Franco]

Altair,

1. I do score with the kinds of girls I like thanks to help of regulars here guiding me with my fundamentals and best of all, I get to share my success with the very people who have seen the picture of my depressed life in the past.

One thing I would like to note is that #1 will be easier to achieve if you lower your standards first and start regularly sleeping with girls. Holding on to your virginity until you score the type of girl you desire most is likely what will keep you from scoring exactly the type of girl you desire most. You want to be extremely comfortable with the process of approach -> get number/date -> invite home -> sex. The only way to practice that entire process frequently is by taking the majority of the opportunities that are given to you.

No one here is going to suggest that you shag every "Frankenstein-like Whale Incarnation" that shows interest in you, but you can practice on girls that you consider to be a "6" or a "7" in your book so that you can get comfortable with the process. Once you become both comfortable with and confident in your process, getting the girls you desire becomes much easier because you know exactly what your process looks like from beginning to end, and then it just becomes about taking the girls you really desire through that entire process.

EDIT: I would read this also if you haven't, yet: Lower Your Standards (and Date Hotter Girls)

Hope this helps.

- Franco