- Joined
- Oct 26, 2020
- Messages
- 194
I'm walking down the street and this girl is whispering something to her co-worker who is a guy (restaurant) while looking at me and laughing. I look but this guy turns to look at me smirking. As I keep walking, they don't stop staring with a smirk. I go to the shop next door and come out to go back home and they're still looking as I'm walking (I'm looking back).
I stop.
Me: You got a problem? Why you keep staring?
Guy: (Speaks broken English)
Girl nearby (They work here)
I go inside my house to drop my stuff off and comeback out.
By this time the guy is standing. He's about 6ft 2 or 3 (190cm) and I'm about 175cm.
I go up to him.
Me: Ey, what did you say earlier?
Him: What are you talking bout?
Me: If you got a problem step up, let's handle this shit.
Him: No I don't got a problem. You got a problem?
Me: What the fuck did you say earlier while you were whispering?
Him: (Speaking something in local language)
There's a girl next to him that speaks English, so I tell her
Ask him in English if he understands what I'm saying.
Him: I don't need to speak English. You speak my language.
Me: I say something else
Him: (In middle of it) Finish. Finish. Get out of here. I could tell he's starting to get agitated.
For a second, I think about just clocking this dude. This guy isn't reacting and I'm in my head a bit. Also I'm in another country so I don't.
As we're going back and forth there's a crowd around us forming. And at this point, I think about what I should do. If I escalate there's no turning back.
I go to get a water from the store next door to think about it and decide to de-escalate. (Maybe I should've waited cause it might've seemed like I was complying to him)
Then I comeback decide to put out my hand.
Me: What's your name?
Him: Name
Me: I'm Davinci. I just moved here a while ago from the states. I live right here.
Him: (In local language) Take me to the states with you. (Translated by a guy that was watching in the crowd)
Me: I laugh. (For some reason I step forward and I slap his stomach a bit) It's nice to meet you. I'll see you around more often.
We kind of share a laugh and I part ways.
From my take, this guy was in a rough situation. Although he was looking at me snickering, it was this average looking girl that instigated this whole situation. I could tell he didn't really wanna do this confrontation (saying he doesn't have a problem) but at the sametime, there was a crowd forming including his co-workers so he couldn't back down either. Hence why I decided to de-escalate.
But deep down, I still feel a bit agitated and kind of think maybe I should've just punched the dude to escalate fully since they started it. I also think may be I lost a bit of frame in that confrontation. I'm not sure.
I also train MMA regularly along with sparring, so I wasn't afraid of fight, but the consequences of fighting in a different country. But I did get into my head a bit about the consequences of fighting and him not being reactive.
www.girlschase.com
Any inputs would be appreciated.
I stop.
Me: You got a problem? Why you keep staring?
Guy: (Speaks broken English)
Girl nearby (They work here)
I go inside my house to drop my stuff off and comeback out.
By this time the guy is standing. He's about 6ft 2 or 3 (190cm) and I'm about 175cm.
I go up to him.
Me: Ey, what did you say earlier?
Him: What are you talking bout?
Me: If you got a problem step up, let's handle this shit.
Him: No I don't got a problem. You got a problem?
Me: What the fuck did you say earlier while you were whispering?
Him: (Speaking something in local language)
There's a girl next to him that speaks English, so I tell her
Ask him in English if he understands what I'm saying.
Him: I don't need to speak English. You speak my language.
Me: I say something else
Him: (In middle of it) Finish. Finish. Get out of here. I could tell he's starting to get agitated.
For a second, I think about just clocking this dude. This guy isn't reacting and I'm in my head a bit. Also I'm in another country so I don't.
As we're going back and forth there's a crowd around us forming. And at this point, I think about what I should do. If I escalate there's no turning back.
I go to get a water from the store next door to think about it and decide to de-escalate. (Maybe I should've waited cause it might've seemed like I was complying to him)
Then I comeback decide to put out my hand.
Me: What's your name?
Him: Name
Me: I'm Davinci. I just moved here a while ago from the states. I live right here.
Him: (In local language) Take me to the states with you. (Translated by a guy that was watching in the crowd)
Me: I laugh. (For some reason I step forward and I slap his stomach a bit) It's nice to meet you. I'll see you around more often.
We kind of share a laugh and I part ways.
From my take, this guy was in a rough situation. Although he was looking at me snickering, it was this average looking girl that instigated this whole situation. I could tell he didn't really wanna do this confrontation (saying he doesn't have a problem) but at the sametime, there was a crowd forming including his co-workers so he couldn't back down either. Hence why I decided to de-escalate.
But deep down, I still feel a bit agitated and kind of think maybe I should've just punched the dude to escalate fully since they started it. I also think may be I lost a bit of frame in that confrontation. I'm not sure.
I also train MMA regularly along with sparring, so I wasn't afraid of fight, but the consequences of fighting in a different country. But I did get into my head a bit about the consequences of fighting and him not being reactive.

Respect Maintenance: Conflict Escalation & De-escalation
When you find yourself in a conflict, you can back down… or you can escalate. How far should you take it? How do you know what the right thing to do is? A few simple rules can guide you. I recently binge-read a series of colorful Quora answers from ex-convict Matthew Holmes. Holmes was someone...

Any inputs would be appreciated.
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