- Joined
- May 21, 2023
- Messages
- 199
17 September 2024
I've had a few nice successes recently, but tonight I had one abysmal failure that I want to write out here, not only for my own future accountability but also to show that my seductions are not always perfect.
Went on a date tonight with a girl from cold approach. Buying temperature was high with her, and we really clicked. She had a strong "independent girl" frame that I found challenging to deal with though. Initially, I was quite calibrated and clever in my responses, but as the date progressed (and I got more drunk), my calibration worsened and in the end I completely dropped the ball.
Mistakes I made:
- No plan - I originally planned to just meet her for coffee as a sort of "informational date", but she suggested we go for drinks and I went along with it. I wasn't planning or prepared for a SDL.
- Getting drunk with her - completely fucked my calibration and made me less sharp/eloquent. Alcohol can be a boost or a handicap depending on how drunk you get - I must remember to be more careful with it.
- Getting too silly - after we'd had a few drinks, at one point she mentioned that she was on her period, and I made it super awkward with a bad uncalibrated joke about how now was all I could think about. For some reason I moved the tomato sauce away thinking it would be funny. It weirded her out and just made me look like a stupid drunk ass.
- Buying into her princess frame too much - rather than teasing her for her dominant frame grabs, I jokingly bought into it, kissing her hand, etc. Doing it once as an intentional joke would have been enough, but I really went overboard thinking it would be funny (again, I think the alcohol fucked my calibration here).
- No preparation - I had NO CONDOMS. If you can't fuck her, you shouldn't pull, and if you don't pull, you shouldn't escalate. I should have kept it as a brief informational date as originally planned and ran the proper seduction at another time.
- Once we got to the bar, the date dragged out way too long (1.5+ hours), and the conversation threads turned stale. (This has happened more than once now. I need to be better at leading the date and keeping track of time relative to where the vibe is - always be moving fast)
- Had not rehearsed gambits (tried running the Eight Orgasms gambit but messed it up and it just came off awkward, then I failed to think of a topic to fractionate away with - just very basic lack of preparation)
- In the end I pulled (suggested we go to mine for drinks), and she actually agreed (unbelievable, right?). But I remembered that she was on her period and I had NO CONDOMS. Earlier on, she had suggested we could hang out tomorrow afternoon, so as we were walking away, I changed my mind and said we should hang out tomorrow instead. BOOM! VIBE KILL, instant state crash for her. Wipeout. I knew from the way she said goodbye: "It was nice meeting you". I ain't ever going to see that girl again.
The painful lessons are the ones you learn the most from, so I guess if there's a silver lining it's that these sorts of experiences make me into a better seducer. I still feel frustrated at myself that even after all this time, I still make such basic mistakes. Being an effective seducer is non-stop work: we need to be constantly tightening our calibration and fundamentals, always keep material fresh in our minds, and never stop improving our frame control.
And most importantly: ALWAYS BE PREPARED
I've had a few nice successes recently, but tonight I had one abysmal failure that I want to write out here, not only for my own future accountability but also to show that my seductions are not always perfect.
Went on a date tonight with a girl from cold approach. Buying temperature was high with her, and we really clicked. She had a strong "independent girl" frame that I found challenging to deal with though. Initially, I was quite calibrated and clever in my responses, but as the date progressed (and I got more drunk), my calibration worsened and in the end I completely dropped the ball.
Mistakes I made:
- No plan - I originally planned to just meet her for coffee as a sort of "informational date", but she suggested we go for drinks and I went along with it. I wasn't planning or prepared for a SDL.
- Getting drunk with her - completely fucked my calibration and made me less sharp/eloquent. Alcohol can be a boost or a handicap depending on how drunk you get - I must remember to be more careful with it.
- Getting too silly - after we'd had a few drinks, at one point she mentioned that she was on her period, and I made it super awkward with a bad uncalibrated joke about how now was all I could think about. For some reason I moved the tomato sauce away thinking it would be funny. It weirded her out and just made me look like a stupid drunk ass.
- Buying into her princess frame too much - rather than teasing her for her dominant frame grabs, I jokingly bought into it, kissing her hand, etc. Doing it once as an intentional joke would have been enough, but I really went overboard thinking it would be funny (again, I think the alcohol fucked my calibration here).
- No preparation - I had NO CONDOMS. If you can't fuck her, you shouldn't pull, and if you don't pull, you shouldn't escalate. I should have kept it as a brief informational date as originally planned and ran the proper seduction at another time.
- Once we got to the bar, the date dragged out way too long (1.5+ hours), and the conversation threads turned stale. (This has happened more than once now. I need to be better at leading the date and keeping track of time relative to where the vibe is - always be moving fast)
- Had not rehearsed gambits (tried running the Eight Orgasms gambit but messed it up and it just came off awkward, then I failed to think of a topic to fractionate away with - just very basic lack of preparation)
- In the end I pulled (suggested we go to mine for drinks), and she actually agreed (unbelievable, right?). But I remembered that she was on her period and I had NO CONDOMS. Earlier on, she had suggested we could hang out tomorrow afternoon, so as we were walking away, I changed my mind and said we should hang out tomorrow instead. BOOM! VIBE KILL, instant state crash for her. Wipeout. I knew from the way she said goodbye: "It was nice meeting you". I ain't ever going to see that girl again.
The painful lessons are the ones you learn the most from, so I guess if there's a silver lining it's that these sorts of experiences make me into a better seducer. I still feel frustrated at myself that even after all this time, I still make such basic mistakes. Being an effective seducer is non-stop work: we need to be constantly tightening our calibration and fundamentals, always keep material fresh in our minds, and never stop improving our frame control.
And most importantly: ALWAYS BE PREPARED
