28 April 2025
Chengdu
Pulled two more girls in a row these past couple of days, one from night game, one from day game. 21 and 19. Both cute, great personalities, great chemistry. The first was a virgin with some sexual trauma, so I was didn't push too hard for sex. The second wasn't, and I closed her with only token LMR.
Chengdu is a super fashionable city. The young people I see here are dressed generally better than anywhere else I've been. The most popular style is pretty close to the hipster Japanese and Korean fashion trends - silver jewelry, baggy pants (though actually more like teardrop boot-cut regular shape pants that are extra long and cover the shoes - often with elaborate folds, discoloring and cuts), Chinese branded designer sneakers, and loose-fitting shirts and vintage-style jackets. Hairstyles lean towards the "block cut" (K-pop style) and wolf cut with product to make it look slightly messy. Some guys even wear eyeliner and makeup (that's a bit far out for me).
These well-put-together guys still only make up less than 5% of the guys I see though. The vast majority put little to no effort into their appearance. This makes me think there's a huge premium advantage on cultivating a proper appearance.
Daygame here takes some getting used to. As I mentioned in my first LR in Changsha, the reactions I get are polarizing. For example, of the two girls I mentioned, the first girl I spotted as I was sitting and chilling on a bicycle just after midnight near the downtown bar district (and close to my hotel). I smiled, waved and said hi as she walked past with her friend. She smiled, then looked back at me multiple times. I went after her, got her WeChat, and met up with her later. This is an example of an extreme "green" girl.
The second girl I approached during the day in the busy shopping district. I was sitting in a plaza, just observing people, noticing their fashion and behaviour. Then I saw her walk past with a friend, vape in hand. She had pretty cool, very hipster style fashion that was somewhat sexy and revealing, with parts of her hair bleached silvery-white, piercings and a tattoo. I assumed she was a hipster rebellious "bad girl" type, and decided to test my thesis that I'm more close to the archetype of these types of girls.
To my surprise, she wasn't very receptive to the approach. She didn't hook or smile, and looked a little uncomfortable (partly I think because she was with a childhood friend who was visiting the city and probably in a "reputation-conscious" state of mind). I suggested we "get to know each other" and exchanged WeChat, then she excused herself and I said bye bye. I figured this was a failed approach and thought nothing more of it. But she was responsive to my texting (though still aloof and cagey). After finding out that her friend was going back to her hometown the next day, I used a tactical voice message (I'm finding voice messages to be powerful when used sparingly) to arrange a meet the next evening for tea.
After meeting her, I realized I'd completely misjudged her on two fronts. First, she wasn't really a "bad girl" rebellious hipster type, just a normal teenager who's really into hipster fashion. Second, her aloofness that day was indeed just a front to preserve face in front of her friend. She actually turned out to be really sweet, insightful and psychologically balanced. She went ahead and basically conveyed the chemistry gambit before I could even verbalize it. I was kinda baffled. Suffice to say we indeed had great chemistry even in spite of our 12 years age gap (which I delighted in telling her after the sex).
Interestingly, the token LMR I get from Chinese girls is always the same, almost word for word:
"Do you do this with every girl?" (only when there feeling/chemistry there)
"We've only known each other for a few hours!" (Yeah, this is a bit impulsive. Let's take it slow. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with *continue escalating*)
"I haven't done anything like this before." (That's okay, there's no pressure, we don't have to do anything you don't want. I just want to make you feel good.)
"I'm not that kind of girl, I don't want people to think I'm an easy/loose girl." (I don't think you're that kind of girl at all. I'm just really enjoying this time together with you, we don't have to have sex, etc etc)
When I tell girls "we don't have to have sex", I actually mean it. I am never going to force myself on a girl, and I ensure that they know that. I treat them as sweet, lovely, innocent, playful, silly little things that I want to give a positive experience to. If they really don't feel ready for sex for whatever reason (trauma, inexperienced, psychological issues), I will gently push as far as possible (continue to escalate but let her move my hand away when she's reached a limit), and if we don't get there we don't get there. Blue balls sucks, but it's better than a guilty conscience.
As a result, girls melt into me. They tell me they feel comfortable with me, like I'm a guy who respects their boundaries and they can open up to me. This also often results in diffusing their LMR and smoothing the pathway to sex. Comfort and reassurance seems to be the key with Gen Z girls - perhaps even moreso than arousal.
Anyway, back to fashion: One of the great things about cold approach is the usefulness in other areas. For instance, I've gotten into the habit of approaching guys who I find especially fashionable and asking where they bought a particular article of clothing. Usually it's from Taobao (China's Amazon) and they'll share the product page with me. I already have a list of really cool stuff to try out. The bonus is it's dirt cheap - often $5-20 per item. I plan to base myself here for a few weeks and order a bunch of this stuff to cultivate a unique hipster appearance. I'll then do an A-B split test with cold approach - one day going out in the more hipster outfit, one day in my regular (stylish but more neutral) outfits. Will be interesting to see how it affects reactions and results with different kinds of girls.
