Barry's Older Women Journal

[BarryS1]

I made a decision to keep the russian milf in my life. I don't have any female friends right now and she wants to go out a lot. Her problems become mine, if I want to keep her in my life, she needs help.

On the plus side it would be fun to play with pre-selection at social events!!

 

[BarryS1]

Ok folks, I have a confession to make. I work at a start up on the weekend, and went to the clothing store to buy a few items. It was at an outlet of a famous clothing brand.

I am a beast in a clothing store/any type of shopping area. I've done it so many times, I know how to close the distance in the right way to avoid any awkwardness/hesitation. For some reason, I was close to approaching an older girl, but didn't have the drive to.

Maybe I'm tired of approaching in the same type of locations all the time, idk. Daygame at shopping centers was how I got my start, but its not fun anymore. Any shopping venue gives me a bad vibe now.

Is there a location for me that is consistent for meeting women that isn't shopping centers? I'll have to think about it.

I KNOW! ILL CHANGE IT UP AND REPLACE SHOPPING CENTERS WITH COFFEE SHOPS. HOLLAH!

 

[BarryS1]

Life Update:

I haven't contacted the Russian Milf in a month. She kept trying to bring her kid along b/c there are no daycares w/ enough spaces in her area. She doesn't have a car/job, so she was trying to get me to take care of her. If I had more resources, I probably could of kept her along and used her for pre-selection and sex. She doesn't have anyone to turn to or network, basically free bait. *sigh* the things I could of done if I had my own place...

FR : Christmas Tree Lighting Festival

My life has been hitting shit lately, so I said FUCK IT and went out. I had absolutely nothing to loose.

Ever go out and blow so hard you feel like the town creep? haha! That’s what yesterday felt like.

I did work at a Starbucks in a new town and heard about a Christmas lighting ceremony at an elementary school. The coffeeshop had girls coming in and out, so I couldn’t get out of my seat in time b4 they left…

At the elementary school, I stood out like a sore thumb. The only guy even AROUND my age over there, plus my indirect game was terrible.

Here’s the process I’ve been following:

-Situational opener: comment, question, or update
-Screen on 3 things: Where she lives, what her lifestyle is like (she workout?), and relationship status
-Use powerful qualification: This is where I show my interest IF she impresses me
-If she asks me a Q, bait her w/ brief responses. (IDK DHV haha)

The rest is up to me depending how much time I have w/ her.

Location: Elementary school around 6pm with lots of people setting up for the festival, mostly moms.

Girl #1: I asked a question when the tree lighting was gonna be on. I couldn’t wrestle the conversation from her very well, despite that I got a lot of info from her: where she lives, she likes to run a lot, has a kid that goes there. I tried bantering about running, but she got silent. I thought about taking her go somewhere w/ me, but none of the equipment was set up.

Girl #2: Some girl approached me right after and said I looked lost. WHOOPS guess I don’t blend in well. My convo didn’t get anywhere w/ her.

Girl #3: Two other people merged w/ the girl I was talking to and started talking about the coffee cart. This mild was hot, kinda short, but tight. She hardly acknowledged me.

Girl #4: I was about to get some popcorn at the booth, but saw a hot latina mild w/ her son eating some. I walk over and asked if it was overpriced. She said $1 so I started bantering about it, but she did not give me any leeway.

As I was walking out, some guy walked towards me, turned around, and grabbed my arm. He demanded what my name was, but had a smile on his face. This kinda freaked me out, so I tugged back and walked away. He introduced himself as the head of the community, but I walked away anyway.


Overview:

I could of done better on the MILFs, but messed up talking to the guy. I am breaking old habits about not being social. That guy just wanted to meet me and saw I was being social (a good thing). I could have talked to him about future events in the town and made a new friend. I guess that’s how some girls feel, they might realize later your intentions were good, but if the process isn’t correct IT CAN BE SCARRY.

 

[BarryS1]

Topic: Reconnecting With Girls

I sent out a "checking-in" text to 6 girls that flaked on me between 10-4 months ago. As I'm writing this, one already replied back

I'm in a huge dryspell right now, its nice to have some fun over text and possibly get a date before the year ends. It was my goal to lay 8 girls this year, I'm at 7 right now. JUST ONE MORE!!!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Getting Into Shopping Game Again

I was so sexually frustrated today that working was impossible, I ran errands instead ALL DAY. I hate daygame at shopping centers, but at least it's efficient. I haven't approached for a week, so getting into it was rough. I don't know why my skill doesn't stick better -___-


Girl #1

I was at a homegoods store, but got overwhelmed by the amount of older women options there. I am ashamed to say I was in the store for 1.5 hrs. I have never done something that pathetic in almost a year...

I eventually saw a girl walk by me and raise her eyebrows. I turn around, weave through the crowd, and catch her in an aisle alone. I approach using my strong direct method, and do a great cold-read on her occupation (teacher). She went very cold after 15 sec. or so and mentioned she was married. I've been in MANY of these situations, so I just let her go.

Girl #2 Trader Joes

I saw a hot brunette girl when I walked in, but the crowd was too large to get to her. I was standing in a aisle getting fruit leathers and she was hovering near me. I did a situational question about it and she popped open. I fucked up b/c I never got to the direct part, but kept popping lame questions to get the convo rolling (she did stupid one word answers). I should of just done direct at that point. The convo got so awkward I just said goodbye.

Girl #3 Employee at Target

I was getting office shit at target and saw a hot latina employee in the food section. She approached me and I asked a situational question. She answered my cooking screening question and I qualified her saying she should work at Whole Foods. Before I could go direct she dismissed herself before I could say anything else.

Girl #4 Employee at Target - Vendor

I was getting food at the same place and saw a hot latina vendor stocking the shelves. I asked her a situational question and she responds. I made her comply by moving around away from ppl walkin in the aisle towards different foods. I screen asking if she liked healthy food. She told me she likes crackers and fine dining (something like that), so I qualified her saying that's unbelievably cute (not my normal qualification, but it works for going direct). She said she liked that b/c it was a bad day. I asked if she was single, then she said no. I bantered w/ her about not having a ring on b/c she would slice all the boxes off. She went cold right after that, so I left.

Girl #5 Hot Blonde Older Girl

I saw a really hot, tall (6 ft. plus) blonde girl w/o makeup walk by. She was so athletic, it was ridiculous. I approached her w/ my strong direct routine, but she was not receptive. Probably b/c it took awhile to chase her down and she saw me before (it was busy in the store, hard to close in).


Overview:

I don't like socializing and approaching when I am by myself, but gotta make it happen! I miss the social events from the private university

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Daygame

I work at a start-up on the weekend, so decided to run some errands before and after I work. I don't like doing daygame anymore back to back, it doesn't suit my personality. I don't like being alone hitting on girls.

I was buying a shirt at a outlet store and saw a latina MILF. I approached direct using my strong style, but she could barely understand me. She had a ring on her finger, but she didn't complain. She questioned my age, but i told her to guess. She thought 19 or 20 LOL. I've never gotten that before haha! I lied and said 26 and she said 41!

W/e I number closed her. I don't care I need a lay!

 

[mindful]

FR: My New Direct Style

I got advice from PinotNoir about trying NJ's direct opener style. I did on one girl walking at the park yesterday and it suited my style better. I am getting lazier at approaches and feel silly for going over-the-top like I used to. I transformed from sweet--->charming--->dominant. I approached the girl from behind:

Me: Wait! (Pre-open)

Girl: (Turns around)

Me: Wow! (pregnant pause) You're gorgeous.

Girl: Oh....uhhhh. (Smiling) I'm married (holding up her ring).

I did some stupid deep-diving, but the girl was acting nervous probably because she was waiting for someone to arrive. Sure enough, when I drove past the trail, she was sitting with a group in a BBQ.

Barry, I feel the same way. There really is no need to go over-the-top with openers. Just keep it calm and collected and state your interest very clearly. If you have good fundamentals, everything will take care of itself. Also, it keeps the vibe more chill and then you just easily transition into talking to her a little bit before number closing. The more I remain calm and collected when talking to girls the more it feels like being in the fucking matrix. Everything seems much more natural and it helps to relieve anxiety.

Good luck though - I feel the struggle, sometimes the down waves last longer than you'd hope.

 

[BarryS1]

Updated Direct Routine

I got a new direct style now that adds to NJ's

-Pre-open by touching on elbow and commanding to stop/hold on
-Simple compliment (You're gorgeous)
-Pregnant pause and wrinkle nose (like chase suggests)
-I just jHAD to say that, I'm Barry (after opener) and extend hand

(quick aside, I usually pick a topic and stick to it. Most of the girls I approach are wearing gym clothing, so I talk about that)

-I think more girls should wear cute pants(booty shorts, w/e she has on) like that



Beyond that, I usually screen for 3 things: relationship status, where she lives, and what her lifestyle is like (I talked about the gym w/ the above statement).

 

[BarryS1]

Life Updata

I sent 7 check-in texts, 5 responses (of these two conversations) and 1 date set up. Pretty good! I am traveling over 1hr. to see a girl at a downtown christmas festival The drive for her is about 45min, about equal investment.

FR: MALL

Girl #1 Latina Hairdresser

I numberclosed a latina hairdresser, big ass big tits at the mall. FIRST TIME DOING THIS. I stick to my indirect routine about picking the topics I wan to talk about and baiting her to ask me q's to DHV.

Girl #2 HB10 Latina

She hardly spoke english and blew me off when I situationally approached her. We tried having a convo, she kept saying she didn't know english, and stormed off. Seriously the best ass I've seen in 6 mo. WOWZA it was huge!!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: FWB Reconnects

Now my lay count for married women is two.

I haven't heard back from the Russian MILF in a month but got a text back from her. I set up a date, but there the crazy thing I found out: She's a mail-order bride from Russia. Her roommate she told me about is actually her husband, damn thats fucked up. She disappeared b/c she said she had to do some paperwork. She also said they don't sleep together or kiss - YEAH RIGHT!

I banged her anyway ;P

She went from hot to cold to hot again. I almost fucked up but recovered smoothly

Here's the series of events: I pick her up and when I start escalating in the car, she gets mad I hane't done anything romantic yet. THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME I'VE EVER SEEN HER. I suggested she give me oral, but she was adamant on getting me to finger her and caress her. I play tough love, but she went cold and started getting dressed. She told me I might be too young and it's not the right time for this. She even left my car, but I chased after her and found out what was wrong. She told me the mail-order bride story and I comforted her.

My PUA coach that I meet with on Wednesdays did a talk about investment and remembering to verbally and physically reward people. I did that with the Russian MILF saying, "It looks like you've been through a lot and didn't know you were in a bad mood. I didn't mean to offend you, you were so playful the last time we saw each other, I thought you liked that kind of stuff."

She slowly start warming up to me and we banged in my car. I came really fast b/c I didn't have sex for over 2 months. We drove again to another place and banged again

She texted me afterwards saying how happy she was. HAHA! Of course, you don't know what you want!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Disappointing Night

I had a hectic day preparing for my night out. I did a check-in text to 7 girls, two responded, and one agreed to a date. She confirmed that morning, so I drove 40 miles to the city we were gonna meet at. HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT. I haven't been on a date with a new girl in two months - my worst downslump since starting approaching over a year ago!

I changed my schedule to drive into the city at noon to avoid traffic b/c the bay area sucks I went to a public library to work and do a video conference, but got the cancelation 1.5 hrs. beforehand. She's a nurse, but her excuse was that she was on call that night. I was excited to hit the new town b/c I saw on a website there was gonna be a festival.

There wasn't a festival...

I drive in the entire town is deserted, I went to every bar and the place was packed w/ old people... I ended up doing some X-Mas shopping for family members, at least I accomplished something.


Overview:

I'm not gonna text that girl back. I need to find something fun to do before X-Mas and DEFINITELY for New Years. I don't have any friends right now b/c everyone is done w/ college and back home PLUS I can't exercise at my self-defense class b/c I am not healed from surgery yet. The only meetup.com events I see are in SF and it will cost $250 for the hotel, parking, and expenses FOR ONE NIGHT.

 

[BarryS1]

Revelation

I just had a revelation that helps me on my road for ending bitterness.

I've been with a lot of experienced women, but they all have one thing in common: they want to find "the one." Even though the admitted to having affairs, lying to guys, and even lying to me, they are still looking for complete satisfaction.

WOW THAT'S INSANE. Even the most extreme girls I've slept with said this. The drama an unsatisfied woman causes! Until I get the resources for keeping one satisfied (own place, money for a couple trips a year/events) I don't want a relationship. It's a big responsibility.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: I am in the wrong state of mind (12/22)

I did two TERRIBLE approaches yesterday, just as bad as I used to a year ago. I swear, there will be a couple times per month when my approaches will be ABSOLUTELY terrible. Today was one of them.

Girl #1

I was buying a drink at a convience store when I saw these two girls at the checkstand. I bought my drink after them and ran to them. I did a shitty direct approach and ended up breaking rapport and talking to the dog WTH!! I asked the girl her age and she was 17 turning 18 in 8 months. Damn, she was the hottest I've approached in at least a month.

Girl #2

I was buying stuff at the dollar store and saw a latina roll her cart next to me. She was hovering for a couple seconds then I popped a question about the product I was looking at. I was such a wet noodle, I could hardly carry a convo and it died fast.


Overview:
I have too many things on my mind when out approaching. I can't stop thinking about how my new boss isn't giving me new work to do and my start up job isn't paying me.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: YAWNN!!!

I went to my surgeon to check up on on my surgery healing. I drove 3 hrs. to get there, its in a large city. I went to the mall for a quick sarge, but hardly saw any hot girls I went a department store and hit on the first hot one I saw, a Latina with a large ass. She wasn't scared at my approached, but dead silent and said her husband is close by. She tried to play it off like we never spoke before. Nice cover-up by her!

Overview:

Daygame doesn't have the thrill it used to. Even though I am going through rough times, I've never been this happy. I haven't laid a new girl in almost 3 months, but still feel optimistic about everything. The inner game stuff I've been doing from my PUA mentor has helped immensly!

 

[BarryS1]

Planning 2015

Here are my plans for improving myself within the context of meeting more girls.

New goals for my older women journal:
-No more day game except for events
-Gonna try online dating
-Only night game at events relative to my interests (health, programming, and business)
-500 approach quota
-12 lay quota
-30 date quota


Techniques to work on:
-Vibe assignment due in Feb. 2015
-Stronger indirect game
-Improve my fundamentals by hiring a stylist and vocal coach as well as gaining weight.
-Gain more knowledge for interacting with people at my locations (nutrition/supplements, programming, management, psychology, and self-defense)


Results of 2014:
-300 approaches
-7 lays with 6 being on first date
-19 dates with different girls


Greatest Seduction Accomplishments:
-3 insta-dates in one day during April SF trip (I met all the girls that same day)
-Got over the girl who friendzoned me, I am not bitter anymore
-Got over my fear of approaching girls my age


Overview:
I did not meet my quota for 8 lays and 20 dates in 2014, but came close. My success really hit the can after August 2014, I felt that pick-up didn’t have any meaning. After meeting with a PUA master who now is my coach, I discovered that raising my value is a good reason for practicing pickup. I feel experienced approaching and sleeping with older women. Three of the girls I’ve layer were MILFs and the other three were older. I know how to disarm objections and the right type of methods (direct and indirect) ways of approaching.

2015 will be a year of learning more about my hobbies and the older women will be a side focus. I go to the events for content and the women are there also.


Year-to-date results:
I have done 400 cold-approaches, layed 8 girls, and dated 22 since starting seduction in August 2013.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: I'm in the gutter...

I went out of the house today but couldn't pluck up the courage to approach a girl, then got depressed. Even though I did my ritual for increased confidence, it didn't last long.

Location #1 - Store

I went to a homegood store to pick up stuff, but couldn't pluck up the courage to approach anyone. It's been over two weeks since I approached, but for some reason can't make it happen.

Location #2 - Library

I went to a new public library, but didn't have the courage to approach any girls. I felt really nervous.

Location #3 - Jogging on street

I went jogging for an hour to get my mind right, but I couldn't approach any girls jogging. I started getting really depressed.

I went to the library again, but was too horny to make a conversation. I haven't fapped in a week, so I was ready to explode. Eventually I went to the car and fapped hoping to relieve some tension, it worked but it made me depressed. I felt so bad that I decided to go home right away.

Overview:
I feel like absolute shit about myself. If I don't get a job in another week or so, I'm gonna apply to work at a convience store or something. I don't like sitting around the house. Fuck it, I'm gonna take control of my life and apply for a crappy job right now. I need something to work for, applying/interviewing for jobs the last 3 months have sapped my self-confidence.

 

[ray_zorse]

Cheer up bro, similar thing happened to me last week... and will prob happen again next week since I haven't done any approaching in a bit... what u don't use u lose it appears... a mistake I sometimes make is waiting too long to do the first approach, it seems to go better if u hit the ground running.
cheers, Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Barry,

First congratulations on your 400 cold approaches, wow. I cannot pretend to advise you on this, you're way more advanced than I am for sure.

For online dating, what works for me is
1. Fundamentals
2. Higher relative status

It's the combination of both. Girls are after high status. Now it's relative higher status because it has to be high status compared to hers, and high status compared to other guys in your area. That's what getting me dates at least, I suppose that other routes (like the californian playboy?) would work too but can't say for sure. If you go my route, you'll have to think how you're going to convey higher status and fundamentals in your profile. Not necessarily easy.

There are tons of girls who have a profile but are not active about it. It's a loss of time. But there are some actively looking. With these ones the online game will save you a lot of time because, from the start, they're looking for the same as you. It's screening for availability. It also works way better with online matches. The rest is often uphill battle but sometimes worth it.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[BarryS1]

Cheer up bro, similar thing happened to me last week... and will prob happen again next week since I haven't done any approaching in a bit... what u don't use u lose it appears... a mistake I sometimes make is waiting too long to do the first approach, it seems to go better if u hit the ground running.
cheers, Ray

Thanks Ray, its insane how these skills can fade away. I was at my all-time high a couple weeks before X-mas, now I'm here I think the main thing is being in the wrong state of mind from personal problems. When I had a job and interacted with people all the time, this never happened to me.

Hey Barry,

First congratulations on your 400 cold approaches, wow. I cannot pretend to advise you on this, you're way more advanced than I am for sure.

For online dating, what works for me is
1. Fundamentals
2. Higher relative status

It's the combination of both. Girls are after high status. Now it's relative higher status because it has to be high status compared to hers, and high status compared to other guys in your area. That's what getting me dates at least, I suppose that other routes (like the californian playboy?) would work too but can't say for sure. If you go my route, you'll have to think how you're going to convey higher status and fundamentals in your profile. Not necessarily easy.

There are tons of girls who have a profile but are not active about it. It's a loss of time. But there are some actively looking. With these ones the online game will save you a lot of time because, from the start, they're looking for the same as you. It's screening for availability. It also works way better with online matches. The rest is often uphill battle but sometimes worth it.

Cheers,
Seppuku

Thanks Seppuku, I started from absolute scratch so being a conversationalists is not natural for me. I downloaded Tinder this week and haven't gotten good results. Seems like the only girls I'm attracting are semi-hot Latinas and a few hipster white girls. I don't have any shirtless pics, mostly with groups of girls and me in cool landscape photos. More outdoorsy instead of high social status.

The high social status pics I see are girls dressed up at parties, fancy restaurants, or doing a sport. I wish I had pictures of me in my self-defense class before I quit it.

I read somewhere Franco recommended using the app for 5min. a day maximum then putting it down. It's been really addicting!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Today's a happy day

I had a great day today. I had an hour phone session with my new PUA coach. I fired the last one because he was too gamey and wanted me to do more opinion openers/DHV like crazy. He gave me a lot of great advice for forming social circles and keeping girls around, but there's a major flaw in DHVing - it gets you reacting to much to the girl, demonstrating low value. My new PUA coach pointed this out and we got TONS of material for me to practice.

Side note: I advise everyone has a mentor like this they can call periodically.

The outing:

I went to the small town to work on an online class. It was fun being in a good mood. I listened to a great screamo song on the way over: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLmyck21Bqc.

Girl #1: Street

I was in a playful mood and wanted to go indirect. I asked for directions and deep-dived well with an asian girl. When I broke rapport and touched her shoulder, she got standoffish and excused herself.

Girl #2: Coffeeshop

I went to a coffeeshop. It was EXTREMELY packed almost 20 high school kids there. I found a seat and saw a girl in her early 30s with a huge ass waiting for coffee. I followed her out of the store and tried pre-opening her but she shrugged me off. She asked "What why should I turn around?!" in a rude tone. I kept asking her to stop but she kept walking on. Older women give the most intense blowouts, gotta love the game. Usually girls my age will do a polite dissmisal.

Girl #3: Coffeeshop

A hired gun hot olderwoman was sweeping the floor when I situationally opened her about all the high schoolers. She gave many one-two word responses and after I broke rapport she walked away.

Overview:
My performance defintely depends on my mood. I am gonna have to get the lifestyle I want for my mood to be right (exercise, job I like, own place) for my state control to be absolute.


P.S.

I got laid again my the Russian Milf. If we had more time we could have gone to a wine bar and I could of used her like a wingwoman like last time!