Casual/FWB Beautiful autistic weirdo

[Swati]

This GIRL...

I'm writing this while my emotions have come to a blank, where I could use more logic and apply my knowledge about what happened.
(we were chatting, bantering, texting. Kind of out of the blue I messaged)

me: "Birthday sex"
(we continue to chat for a few days, this is planned as seed)

her: "What?"
(we continue chatting)

(couple of days later)
Her: "I was thinking about, birthday sex, I don't have clients these days I could come these 2 days"
We talked about having birthday sex.

She's around a 2 hours commute away, which makes it harder for her to see me etc.

4 days later she told me her uncle died and she said she couldn't come.
"My uncle died, and I can't come I'm sorry I have to go to X( another country) for his funeral"

My suspicion started here, thinking that she was being disingenuous, I rather have her be honest with me.

I videoed her

I called her under the suspicion of this bitch fucking another guy cause she canceled the plan last minute.

I had a bit of back and forward and ended the call. She was a bit defensive and started saying "OhhhhHH YOU LIKE ME!!!" like it was a joke and then turned serious and a bit argumentative and we ended the call.

I moved city and unfortunately, it made it inconvenient for her to come to see me.

flakes last minutes

The next day, after our 1st video call, she videos me.

(talking shit, blah blah blah)

Her: "We are not in a relationship, I'm not doing anything wrong"
Her: "We are not in a relationship
me: "If we are not in a relationship why do you care if I trust you or not"
Her: "Cause I like you and I care about you"

After that video chat, we were more on a positive note on the surface. We both kind of just faded away.

I just want to forget about it.

My NON-Pua skills come out as jealous and possessive, etc.

Discounted pretty girl, a bunch of red flags.

I wanted to play it out so that I could understand how these girls function.

Even in the beginning subconsciously I knew there wasn't a future, but I got jealous and started projecting.

Stupidly as a male we are stupid romantics. She was asking joking about getting married n shit's all BS.

Well anyway, she's gone, I know why the older heads advise against dating and getting together with these girls.

It's the end of the chapter, with this weirdo breakthrough girl.

"Guys feel in love with what they see"
100% true. The first time I saw her in person I was super excited.

"Girls fall in love with what they hear"

Anyways, my prediction is that 80%, she fucked another dude, given that I haven't heard from her for a week, I'm ghosting her too.

When a girl is fertile, compared to some girl you know wouldn't get pregnant, you care a lot less. Guys/I get more jealous about the fact they're fertile subconsciously.

(kind of a secret here I discovered)

Even if she did nothing wrong, cheating, etc, there are just too many RED FLAGs. So many problems and inconsistencies etc are unbearable in the long run, a girl is supposed to help you other than take from you.

She said she's autistic and she took a test and came back positive, weirdo, lol.

Kind of a learning process with these girls. 6-7, don't care, 8, meh, 8.5-9+, the dangerous zone you slip into the passion trap, getting jealous n, etc, when you aren't seeing other girls especially.

All stories come to an end at some point this one just happened to end pretty abruptly and unfortunately, I didn't get to keep her around longer than I wanted.

That's life.

I don't know if it's true or not, but picking a girl who you don't care to lose may be a better choice, but keep pushing the quality of course until you are able to achieve better ones, compared to the exponential bump, I don't know exactly, I'm talking shit.

Passion trap I think could only happen when they're playing games, karea mentioned that it never has the same level of attraction, and I agree. It's not so much of the attraction that you fall, I come to find out.

I've asked other guys about it, or whatever there usually are clues to it, there's isn't 100% where they could pinpoint exactly could most of them are off with their prediction and also the fact they've never met the person to give feedback. They don't call it "sneaking" around if they aren't sneaky about it.

Full disclaimer, I know fully that meeting girls from apps gets you these types of girls more often.

Meeting from online these types of girls online is kind of an interesting thing. I've had a few breakthroughs girls from online... I'm just wondering why about the fact I keep meeting these types of girls and not in real life, who are supposed to be more normal.

Anyway, this was my embarrassing story from Valentine's Day. I almost didn't want to share but it happened and it's over, lesson learned...

Feedback and comments are always welcome.

 

[Skills]

I don't understand why you escalated things and acted all reactive...

her.- my uncle die had to go for the funeral in another country, sorry i can not come...

me.- oh wow! that sucks, sorry to hear that...

^ couple of days later you ping asking how the uncle is doing?? and cont. process

done..... If is a lie (you don't know) and even if it is, you take her at her face value, if she is lying or not who cares, women flake...

no need to waste so much energy, the reason why women flake or if they lie (women lie when the lips are moving) is irrelevant , this is not your girl or a girl you are fucking she is nothing....

your goal is to meet her and fuck her sometimes, and flip the scrip after fucking her multiple times.... Women will do and cont. to do her behavior all the time autistic, not autistic, who cares.... after you are fucking them and get them invested then you flip the script... ( i had girls that flake on me and were fucking some other guy, after i flip the script and fucked them a bunch on times and i got bored of them and dump them, i got the pay back unintentionally, i don't care about revenge or pay back)

this got you nothing... You acted very reactive, no need! Being reactive, jealous, getting angry, all of those things are unattractive.... You need to control all this like a pocker player after you fuck her and she is invested, then you get your reward....

 

[Swati]

no need to waste so much energy, the reason why women flake or if they lie (women lie when the lips are moving) is irrelevant , this is not your girl or a girl you are fucking she is nothing....

your goal is to meet her and fuck her sometimes, and flip the scrip after fucking her multiple times.... Women will do and cont. to do her behavior all the time autistic, not autistic, who cares.... after you are fucking them and get them invested then you flip the script...

this is a girl I was fucking, spend about 10 days total together, fucked about 25x

 

[Skills]

this is a girl I was fucking, spend about 10 days total together, fucked about 25x

oh i see this has happened, to me, and my default is that the girl is fucking another guy, but is not always the case, i was a million percent sure it was the case, but not always the case, are you sure you think she is with another dude??? (we always default to that cause that is what we do when we act the same way, but again not always the reason}

 

[Swati]

oh i see this has happened, to me, and my default is that the girl is fucking another guy, but is not always the case, i was a million percent sure it was the case, but not always the case, are you sure you think she is with another dude??? (we always default to that cause that is what we do when we act the same way, but again not always the reason}

I actually don't think 100%, maybe 50%ish

she posted on Instagram, "in love with my ex era", not sure if she is fucking with me, referring to me, or actually her ex, btw she doesn't know I know her instagram.

but no, I don't think 100% she's fucking another dude

 

[Skills]

I actually don't think 100%, maybe 50%ish

she posted on Instagram, "in love with my ex era", not sure if she is fucking with me, referring to me, or actually her ex, btw she doesn't know I know her instagram.

but no, I don't think 100% she's fucking another dude

correct, you are projecting, i did the same.... i understand.... But she may be not and there may be another issue.... Like the same old (lack of progression) or she falling hard and scare of getting hurt and trying to stop before getting more hurt...... In my scenarios these were the issues and i was projecting "she found some other dude"... I am not saying it could not be that, but again 50% is huge lol that you don't think she is... You may be hurting a bit dude and missing her, and thinking the worst... (again happened to me a lot)

 

[Swati]

correct, you are projecting, i did the same.... i understand.... But she may be not and there may be another issue.... Like the same old (lack of progression) or she falling hard and scare of getting hurt and trying to stop before getting more hurt...... In my scenarios these were the issues and i was projecting "she found some other dude"... I am not saying it could not be that, but again 50% is huge lol that you don't think she is... You may be hurting a bit dude and missing her, and thinking the worst... (again happened to me a lot)

yes, some things she have said during our time together

"I'm getting attached to you"

"Just tell me is my problem, so I know there's no future between us"

"can you be my (xxxx)husband"

"are you going to find other girls in your (current city)"

Etc

I do miss her, not denying that at all

 

[topcat]

Bruh if you’re gunna be casual with a girl, then accept she might fuck somebody else, not that she will, but she can and that’s well within her prerogative.

Don’t like it? Wife her up, and set rules. At least if she does, then you can get out clean as the agreement was broken.

If you know you’ll get attached to a chick you don’t want a relationship with, and attachment is something you can’t stomach - don’t do relationship things with her (ie. spending ten days, and fucking her 25x).

It might sound rude but know your level and stick within it..or level up and accept the consequences.

Also, you’re allowed to be paranoid, you’re allowed to feel jealous, especially with these hoe types sometimes it’s inevitable. But making it HER problem is unacceptable. Handle it yourself and if that’s too much to manage break it off, because as you can see confronting her about it crashes the relationship beyond repair anyway. At least if you break it off yourself, you have the chance to return once your head’s right.

It’s not her fault. You chose her.

Another thing. Girls lie. Sometimes. They make excuses, sometimes. You give her the benefit of the doubt anyway, quietly take notes, and make your decision after the evidence is insurmountable. Crash out like you did, and you lose a good thing because you let your imagination run wild. Who knows, her uncle could’ve died, now you’ve gone and made it about you because you feared she was sharing the pussy.

Composure bruv..

 

[Swati]

If you know you’ll get attached to a chick you don’t want a relationship with, and attachment is something you can’t stomach - don’t do relationship things with her (ie. spending ten days, and fucking her 25x).

well obviously she was hooked too, and I couldn't help myself. easily with avg girls, you probably know most girl wouldn't be a problem

It might sound rude but know your level and stick within it..or level up and accept the consequences.

Also, you’re allowed to be paranoid, you’re allowed to feel jealous, especially with these hoe types sometimes it’s inevitable. But making it HER problem is unacceptable. Handle it yourself and if that’s too much to manage break it off, because as you can see confronting her about it crashes the relationship beyond repair anyway. At least if you break it off yourself, you have the chance to return once your head’s right.

certainty it added negativity to the momentum between us, but not sure if it's considered "crashed". If I wanted to see her I mostly like can still manage. I lost frame that's for sure, and gave her validation

You give her the benefit of the doubt anyway, quietly take notes, and make your decision after the evidence is insurmountable.

I agree with this

Composure bruv..

easier said than done with this one, but yeah I get it

 

[topcat]

easily with avg girls, you probably know most girl wouldn't be a problem

easier said then done with this one, but yeah I get it

Unpopular opinion, but oneitis is a choice.

You can feel feelings and not act on them. That isn’t beyond a normal persons abilities. Just don’t pick up the phone.

I’m not having a go at you, but there’s a prevailing myth in the community that if you’re with a girl you like, you’ll get oneitis and lose composure, it’s easier with chicks you don’t like blah blah blah.

I think this is bullshit.

I’ve been with many girls i’ve liked more than others, non monogamously but de facto monogamous on my side due to circumstances or just not caring to fuck anybody else at the time. Still maintained frame. You just have to be willing to lose her.

Just remember: there was a point in your life when you didn’t know her, and yet you were fine.
While you’re with her you are fine.
And when she’s gone, you will be fine too.

Once you accept that, then it’s pure enjoyment, because you know if things get rough, you can always go back to your default - no longer knowing her and being fine.

Being alone ain’t that bad, and if it is just fix your perspective.
Everything else is a bonus..

 

[Swati]

I’m not having a go at you, but there’s a prevailing myth in the community that if you’re with a girl you like, you’ll get oneitis and lose composure, it’s easier with chicks you don’t like blah blah blah.

not true really, couple week before this girl. I was fucking another one, which happened to be the 3rd time seeing her, I just wanted to escape. so the more beautiful a girl more likely she can hook you. sure you can yourself blah blah, don't fall for her n etc but in the end, the hormones creeps up

I think this is bullshit.

guy are stupid romantics to fault. They aren't called breakthrough girls for no reason. Chase and others wrote about the topic few times

 

[topcat]

the hormones creeps up

I think it’s in our heads. At the end of the day we choose to act on them. Nothing moves our hands or mouths but us..
I’m not talking for lack of experience.

guy are stupid romantics to fault. They aren't called breakthrough girls for no reason. Chase and others wrote about the topic few times

I highly respect Chase and the others, and I do agree that there are breakthrough girls, chicks that raise your standards and unlock certain peak experiences. But i disagree that lack of composure or oneitis with them is inevitable.

I just think it’s a boogie man we let haunt us. I used to think it too till i pushed my limits with a few ‘breakthrough chicks’ and found after everything i was fine. I think we believe oneitis is supposed to come with the “better ones” and start panicking when we feel butterflies

Oneitis is a choice. We’re in control.

 

[Skills]

Unpopular opinion, but oneitis is a choice.

You can feel feelings and not act on them. That isn’t beyond a normal persons abilities. Just don’t pick up the phone.

I’m not having a go at you, but there’s a prevailing myth in the community that if you’re with a girl you like, you’ll get oneitis and lose composure, it’s easier with chicks you don’t like blah blah blah.

I think this is bullshit.

I’ve been with many girls i’ve liked more than others, non monogamously but de facto monogamous on my side due to circumstances or just not caring to fuck anybody else at the time. Still maintained frame. You just have to be willing to lose her.

Just remember: there was a point in your life when you didn’t know her, and yet you were fine.
While you’re with her you are fine.
And when she’s gone, you will be fine too.

Once you accept that, then it’s pure enjoyment, because you know if things get rough, you can always go back to your default - no longer knowing her and being fine.

Being alone ain’t that bad, and if it is just fix your perspective.
Everything else is a bonus..

Yeah very good point the difference between guys that have tons of experience vs most guys... is that you can remain stoic during onitis, you call it composure good point! About frame i don't care about temporarily losing frame with some women (cause sometimes they are acting like this cause they have anxiety cause they like you so much)....

i disagree even if you wife them up you have boundaries, but i don't control what she does i act the same way... Tbh is good that fbs would have other dudes, so they don't get so annoying and clingy.. Most girls are not going to go bang other dudes tbh though... unless they already were banging someone before you (like a bf/hubby)...

 

[topcat]

Yeah very good point the difference between guys that have tons of experience vs most guys... is that you can remain stoic during onitis, you call it composure good point! About frame i don't care about temporarily losing frame with some women (cause sometimes they are acting like this cause they have anxiety cause they like you so much)....

and great point on temporarily losing frame. Sometimes you just let them have it to calm their nerves and get a bit of power/confidence back.

Tbh is good that fbs would have other dudes, so they don't get so annoying and clingy.. Most girls are not going to go bang other dudes tbh though... unless they already were banging someone before you (like a bf/hubby)...

Fully agree. The only real issue is breaking the terms of your agreement/disrespect and it’s you that sets where that line is. If fucking dudes is where your line is then so be it, but it’ll make casual relationships extremely tricky and short lived.

 

[KJ Francis]

She's around a 2 hours commute away

With long distance I think you will always be slotted lower priority since there's no eventual future of relationship progression. Even if she likes you way more, and maybe especially so out of her self protection (low attainability auto-rejection).

Same if she lives nearby and you are unattainable. Pair bonding to a lover type is a safety threat to the unborn kids. We didn't evolve with condoms. I think Jay Z said Beyonce miscarried cause he was cheating.

This week a girl flaked on a first date cause I had no ambiguous boyfriend potential. It was a lost cause for her from the start. She said she knows we have different goals and we were going to do a "practice date" which she liked as an excuse to dress pretty. She canceled saying that her friend died. Not sure if true.

Another example last month... auto rejection I had fucked her just one time, she said "Happy Friday! I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're truly just "the worst texter." But, I'm beginning to question your interest level..." She chased 10 more days I couldn't make it to see her then I got "Hey Francis, I appreciate getting to know you this far, but I need to be true to myself and my goal of finding a longterm relationship. Casual just isn't for me. Best of luck!"

Another example last month a girl I knew for over a year who would blow up my phone in unhinged ways to the point that I had to block her at times finally ghosted me. At one point she said she loved me and had a fantasy of living together. This was a crazy type I was careful with and maintained lots of distance. Totally flipped from chasing to ghosting.

Another example last month another girl I'd seen over a year who said she would raise my child by herself also ghosted me with no conversation. I think this one was hurting too much and knew 100% we had no future. I recently moved not super far away but my focus has shifted to going out and so I got distracted while juggling, half-accidentally dropped spinning plates, etc.

My point being the HIGHEST interest level can then flip into the LOWEST and most flaky if you do not fit her long term goals. So we get 6 month FWB timelines, 2-year drop, etc.

It seems she was teasing you for liking her and also said she liked you? Sounds like she was testing the waters for emotional connection and long term potential while teetering on auto rejection.

Another example in a different direction, kinda crazy. This is a rare kind of dynamic for me but is polar opposite of oneitis. I could never be a true poly guy letting a pair bond go wild. I think it's subconscious evolution not wanting to take care of another guy's seed (again we did not evolve with contraception). So girls like this are emotional throwaways:

Me: What are you up to today

Her: I'm tentatively scheduled to be bent over the bed and spanked and fucked later this afternoon.

Her (hours later) What are you doing?

Me: Out shopping. You want a visit?

Her: Yes, but I have a tormentor coming over in a few minutes.

Me (next day... Apparently this guy had in the past come over to do kink stuff but not fuck): I hope you finally got the dick this time!

Her: I finally did. And it was as intense as anticipated.

Me: Why's that, the long-term tension... Or being roughed up along with it?

Her: Both. And he's really good.

Me: What makes it good?

Her: His dick is very big.

Me: Lucky girl!

Her: Cliche.
Cliche' (accent mark).

Me: What is?

Her: Hope you have had some fun.
That sex is good with a big dick.

Me: If the shoe fits...
Unless she's Asian. Some can't take two fingers

Her: Yes. I'm laughing.
Oh really? That's interesting.
Do you have a cool story to go with that statement?

Me: Well it did feel pretty cool once I got her warmed up enough to penetrate!

Her: Super tight and small.
Did it seem painful for her?

Me: Not once I warmed her up and slowly stretched her out. Luckily she was very wet which helped

Her: That's so hot.

Me: Someone's horny today huh

Her: Yes I am.

(Skipping over a bunch)

Her: Either way for tomorrow. It seems I have no date this weekend. I think I do have weeknights available. The man I made a commitment with has no time recently. Or maybe he just wanted to lock me down but not really commit his time. In either case, I have decided I have the right to be with you if I want to.

Her: I'm going to make myself available for your schedule because I want to see you, cuddle with you.

Sorry for the long post but I think it's helpful to just open source the data so to speak... Casual dating multiple women with upfront expectations is something a lot of guys never see. Even then we mostly talk about the success parts and not the fallout.

 

[Skills]

With long distance I think you will always be slotted lower priority since there's no eventual future of relationship progression. Even if she likes you way more, and maybe especially so out of her self protection (low attainability auto-rejection).

Same if she lives nearby and you are unattainable. Pair bonding to a lover type is a safety threat to the unborn kids. We didn't evolve with condoms. I think Jay Z said Beyonce miscarried cause he was cheating.

This week a girl flaked on a first date cause I had no ambiguous boyfriend potential. It was a lost cause for her from the start. She said she knows we have different goals and we were going to do a "practice date" which she liked as an excuse to dress pretty. She canceled saying that her friend died. Not sure if true.

Another example last month... auto rejection I had fucked her just one time, she said "Happy Friday! I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're truly just "the worst texter." But, I'm beginning to question your interest level..." She chased 10 more days I couldn't make it to see her then I got "Hey Francis, I appreciate getting to know you this far, but I need to be true to myself and my goal of finding a longterm relationship. Casual just isn't for me. Best of luck!"

Another example last month a girl I knew for over a year who would blow up my phone in unhinged ways to the point that I had to block her at times finally ghosted me. At one point she said she loved me and had a fantasy of living together. This was a crazy type I was careful with and maintained lots of distance. Totally flipped from chasing to ghosting.

Another example last month another girl I'd seen over a year who said she would raise my child by herself also ghosted me with no conversation. I think this one was hurting too much and knew 100% we had no future. I recently moved not super far away but my focus has shifted to going out and so I got distracted while juggling, half-accidentally dropped spinning plates, etc.

My point being the HIGHEST interest level can then flip into the LOWEST and most flaky if you do not fit her long term goals. So we get 6 month FWB timelines, 2-year drop, etc.

It seems she was teasing you for liking her and also said she liked you? Sounds like she was testing the waters for emotional connection and long term potential while teetering on auto rejection.

Another example in a different direction, kinda crazy. This is a rare kind of dynamic for me but is polar opposite of oneitis. I could never be a true poly guy letting a pair bond go wild. I think it's subconscious evolution not wanting to take care of another guy's seed (again we did not evolve with contraception). So girls like this are emotional throwaways:


Sorry for the long post but I think it's helpful to just open source the data so to speak... Casual dating multiple women with upfront expectations is something a lot of guys never see. Even then we mostly talk about the success parts and not the fallout.

oh! i missed the 2 hours drive, excellent point... Those women using "death" a lit of weird.... Are you sure is not legit! the only time a girl told me her "dad died" was a hail marry post break up.... is this like a new trend?? are you guys sure is not real...

 

[Swati]

With long distance I think you will always be slotted lower priority since there's no eventual future of relationship progression. Even if she likes you way more, and maybe especially so out of her self protection (low attainability auto-rejection).

Same if she lives nearby and you are unattainable. Pair bonding to a lover type is a safety threat to the unborn kids. We didn't evolve with condoms. I think Jay Z said Beyonce miscarried cause he was cheating.

This week a girl flaked on a first date cause I had no ambiguous boyfriend potential. It was a lost cause for her from the start. She said she knows we have different goals and we were going to do a "practice date" which she liked as an excuse to dress pretty. She canceled saying that her friend died. Not sure if true.

Interesting, I mean if you've only fucked her 1x and done and left, then I don't think there's a lot of room to play with.

With mine, the amount of times I've fucked I did that on purpose and out of liking her a lot, is not common for me to be able to fuck and spend that much time, without wanting leave and losing interest. So I have a much stronger hook and impact.

But with what you said about attainability is true and with the time "deaths" happening, whether that's true or not is irreverent now. Is that where you able to get see her again and fuck her? same with mine, did she come to me and etc.

 

[Swati]

oh! i missed the 2 hours drive, excellent point... Those women using "death" a lit of weird.... Are you sure is not legit! the only time a girl told me her "dad died" was a hail marry post break up.... is this like a new trend?? are you guys sure is not real...

The death was probably real, but the fact that time pasted, the attraction and other stuff happened....

 

[Skills]

The death was probably real, but the fact that time pasted, the attraction and other stuff happened....

swati it seems you like this girl, you have 2 choices move on like chase says "i don't chase i replace" or ping and re game again like nothing happen, even though you will lose frame.... those are the only 2 choices.... I had a girls like that had to drive 3 hours to see me, and 3 hours to go back that is 6 hours, yours is 4 hours, same situation... I personally just let her be, and moved on, but i know i can get her..... I had another one that cross the line cause she was soooo pissed i flaked on her, and told me to fuck off, and then she pinged me and i ghosted.... i really liked her, but i have not re engage, cause she crossed the line and she was annoying as hell.... But i am me and you are you is what are you willing to deal with and tolerate (it is a balance between you and what you are ready to deal with, risk reward, but is extremely personal, i don't advice on people doing other guys lifestyles but their own same with risk levels of tolerance).... do you want this girl back, you can get her, but she is annoying and you will lose a bit of frame for a while till you get her again (by pinging and gaming her again) or you can move on.... done!

 

[empath]

I will say warmth might be the issue.

If you are able to get her on a call talk openly while re-sedcuing her with byronic traits it will work.

Calling her and being open helped me to re-lay her because she thought I just wanted to hook up while she does not want to be causal. (Still no need to promise to be her bf etc. just be warm)

You can still manage her expectations that while you are not expecting a relationship so soon but say you do have emotions for her/ like her etc.

You will always be able to get the frame back in person.

Just confront her insecurity for now.

See end parts of this thread.

How to know if the girl is locked in or converted

When Is a Girl "Locked In"? The consensus is that after sleeping with a girl three times, she is locked in, and you can relax a bit and shift her into chase mode. But how do you know for sure that she’s locked in, especially if she’s a "normal" girl (not a nympho, etc.)? What I Want to...

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