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Bombshell Italian Train Girl

Definitely_not_a_gymrat

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
60
Hey guys, made another approach that I would like to share, have made a bunch more, but I felt like I can learn from this the most.

To start off, I was going to class using the train, when I saw a gorgeous girl standing right next to me, a good few inches taller than me as well.

I ask her if she knows when the train is coming, since I only arrived a week ago, so I can still play the foreigner card.

It’s a bit hard to understand everything, since she isn’t fluent in English, so I did my best.

She then tells me that she doesn’t know herself, which I tease her on, and we reveal where we’re from.

While we’re waiting for the train, there is conversation followed by pauses, which she is calling her friends, who she is meeting up with.

I guessed her to ask how old I am, and she guessed 24-25, even though I am 20. She was shocked, then I mentioned that it’s probably the beard, then asked her if she likes beards, which she said yes.

We get on the train, and I finally give my name, and we do a hand clasp.

We get more deep talking about career goals, and future plans, and our motivations for our career. During this, I ask for her instagram(idk if my number would really work in a foreign country, can’t call using it, and the different area codes), and say that she should come back to visit me.

She says why not, and proceeds to follow me on instagram. During this, we continue to deep dive each other a bit, and I also complimented her on her fashion. At no point did I complement her on her looks.

Eventually, the train gets off at her stop, and we first shake hands goodbye, then I go in for a hug, which she reciprocates enthusiastically.

All in all, I think it’s a solid approach, especially considering the slight language barrier, but can anyone let me know what I could have done better.

She hasn’t accepted my follow request yet, even though she already follows me, and it’s been a few hours. Although she said she was spending the entire day with her friends, since her birthday is tomorrow, so she be too preoccupied to follow me back.
 

Skater

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 10, 2024
Messages
11
First a disclaimer: I'm woefully inexperienced. I'm just interpreting through my own minimal experience. Hope you find it at least somewhat useful.

I guessed her to ask how old I am, and she guessed 24-25, even though I am 20. She was shocked, then I mentioned that it’s probably the beard, then asked her if she likes beards, which she said yes.
I always like making them guess my age like you did. They also frequently guess older (near 27), probably due to facial hair; I've noticed when I shave down to stubble they guess much more accurately (I'm 23).
I've never thought to ask if they like it! Thanks for the idea, I'll try it next time.

At no point did I compliment her on her looks.
One huge sticking point of mine is showing intent, or making the interaction Man to Woman rather than Friend to Friend.
Whether with an aesthetically-challenged girl where it wouldn't be honest, or a hot chick where I'm terrified, I just can't seem to do it.
Little things like teasing, handshake-introduction, asking if she likes beards (obliquely referring to your own), IG-closing with future projection, non-looks-based compliments, and hugging imply intent but are not bulletproof, especially if not delivered in a Man-to-Woman way (with e.g. sexualized EC, body language, tonality).
Maybe you did, but even when I do the above things I frequently don't subcommunicate the M2W frame. One-way ticket to the friendzone.

Was watching some Todd V material recently that resonated with me on this point.
He identifies showing Intent as a subset of the ways to communicate the desired M2W frame of an interaction.
As a beginner, he says, you are best served more or less explicitly setting the frame with more or less overt displays of Intent, like looks-based compliments.
To avoid falling completely into the chaser frame, you could temper with push-pull. Maybe something like "you're pretty cute... for an Italian."

He reasons that as a beginner it is more important to gain confidence expressing yourself including your true thoughts and desires, which simultaneously forces you to adopt better subcommunications to avoid bad-vibe rejections.

Then, as you move towards advanced, you can go more indirect and purely subcommunicate M2W to the point where she starts chasing.
He says as a beginner it's fine to be a little clunky and obvious, it will still get results and train you into smoothness.
If you're not a beginner, my apologies; thinking in terms of myself here.

especially considering the slight language barrier
One thing I've heard but not had opportunity to try yet is to compliment non-native speakers on their English.
Apparently, it's supposed to encourage them to talk more and feel appreciated for trying. Just an idea.

She hasn’t accepted my follow request yet, even though she already follows me, and it’s been a few hours. Although she said she was spending the entire day with her friends, since her birthday is tomorrow, so she be too preoccupied to follow me back.
Fire and forget. Couple hours is too little, in my (limited) experience. Take your mind off it by doing something else, best is approaching more >:)

Overall, based on my (beginner/KJ) read of the situation she was at least a little attracted to talk for so long.
If you managed to cement a M2W frame, you should have increased chances of a Day 2.
And, hopefully, you can even give her the best birthday present tomorrow ;)
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Definitely_not_a_gymrat

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
60
First a disclaimer: I'm woefully inexperienced. I'm just interpreting through my own minimal experience. Hope you find it at least somewhat useful.
Appreciate the response and help brother!
I always like making them guess my age like you did. They also frequently guess older (near 27), probably due to facial hair; I've noticed when I shave down to stubble they guess much more accurately (I'm 23).
I've never thought to ask if they like it! Thanks for the idea, I'll try it next time.
Yeah, I have a beard, and get guessed for much older, fun little game I love to play.
One huge sticking point of mine is showing intent, or making the interaction Man to Woman rather than Friend to Friend.
Whether with an aesthetically-challenged girl where it wouldn't be honest, or a hot chick where I'm terrified, I just can't seem to do it.
Little things like teasing, handshake-introduction, asking if she likes beards (obliquely referring to your own), IG-closing with future projection, non-looks-based compliments, and hugging imply intent but are not bulletproof, especially if not delivered in a Man-to-Woman way (with e.g. sexualized EC, body language, tonality).
Maybe you did, but even when I do the above things I frequently don't subcommunicate the M2W frame. One-way ticket to the friendzone.
I think I was able to do that, it didn’t seem like a friendzone interaction, also this was the first time I pulled out the hug at the end of my interaction.
Was watching some Todd V material recently that resonated with me on this point.
He identifies showing Intent as a subset of the ways to communicate the desired M2W frame of an interaction.
As a beginner, he says, you are best served more or less explicitly setting the frame with more or less overt displays of Intent, like looks-based compliments.
To avoid falling completely into the chaser frame, you could temper with push-pull. Maybe something like "you're pretty cute... for an Italian."
Maybe, although I didn’t complement her on looks, instead her fashion, I don’t think I needed to complement on looks. Also Italian women are some of the hottest in the world, might work when I go back to America though.
He reasons that as a beginner it is more important to gain confidence expressing yourself including your true thoughts and desires, which simultaneously forces you to adopt better subcommunications to avoid bad-vibe rejections.

Then, as you move towards advanced, you can go more indirect and purely subcommunicate M2W to the point where she starts chasing.
He says as a beginner it's fine to be a little clunky and obvious, it will still get results and train you into smoothness.
If you're not a beginner, my apologies; thinking in terms of myself here.
Relative beginner, but just trying to get as many reference points as possible, this was just one interaction that stood out to me. I’ve had plenty of interactions in the past week.
One thing I've heard but not had opportunity to try yet is to compliment non-native speakers on their English.
Apparently, it's supposed to encourage them to talk more and feel appreciated for trying. Just an idea.
I’ll try that next time!
Fire and forget. Couple hours is too little, in my (limited) experience. Take your mind off it by doing something else, best is approaching more >:)

Overall, based on my (beginner/KJ) read of the situation she was at least a little attracted to talk for so long.
If you managed to cement a M2W frame, you should have increased chances of a Day 2.
And, hopefully, you can even give her the best birthday present tomorrow ;)
Well, she still hasn’t accepted my follow request, but she still follows me, which is very peculiar. Hopefully she accepts so I can give her the best birthday present😉.
 

Definitely_not_a_gymrat

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
60
UPDATE:

Texted her on instagram:

Me: Hi [girl] and happy birthday! How was your celebrations?

Her: Thank you
!

Me: Any travel plans?(because she’s a flight attendant)
I can also translate in Italian(said in Italian)

She hasn’t opened that message, and it’s been almost a day. She’s been posting on her story, I might try to re engage in a day or two, or even shoot her a quick call? Any advice?
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
1,308
Just turned 23
Forget about social media responses...young women forget to answer all the time.
Also remember: it was her birthday, so she is probably just enjoyng the extra attention she is getting for this week.

I would wait a bit untill that rush passes and get back to her with a new text opener, then follow the usual sequence: banther>soft close>hard close
 
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Definitely_not_a_gymrat

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
60
Forget about social media responses...young women forget to answer all the time.
Also remember: it was her birthday, so she is probably just enjoyng the extra attention she is getting for this week.

I would wait a bit untill that rush passes and get back to her with a new text opener, then follow the usual sequence: banther>soft close>hard close
Yeah, she is posting a lot about her birthday, maybe re engage her in 1-2 days. Maybe more?
 
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