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Can I pay for your Sushi?

Proper

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jan 23, 2021
Messages
93
People
Me: 5'10" Asian male, in business/investing
Her: 5'6" Norwegian blonde, fashion designer

Background
Another LR from last year, that I wasn't motivated to write about at the time. I think I was feeling somewhat hollow about it at the time. And I'm only now re-motivating myself to do more pickup.

The Meet
It was the end of a long day of cold approaching with little results. I decided to treat myself to a sushi dinner at one of my favorite restaurants nearby. I sat down where the hostess directed me to, and it happened to be near (1 empty seat between us) a platinum blonde white girl, wearing an edgy streetwear but very fashionable outfit. After I ordered, I turned to her and asked her if she's been here before, what's good here? After some chit chat, I moved one seat closer to her, and turned it into an instant date.

First Date
It turns out she's from Northern Europe, Norway, and owns a boutique fashion store here. We chatted about a lot of things, sushi, work, travel, etc. It was a pretty decent conversation, and I deep dived her successfully in many aspects. Towards the end, when it was time to pay the bill, I asked "Can I buy your dinner?". It just felt right to do so. I was doing it out of generosity and creating good vibes, and not from a place of "paying to try to be a provider". She initially didn't want to accept, but then did. Afterwards, I guess I could have tried to extend the date, but just decided to call it a night. She texted me very warmly that she had a great conversation.

I texted her back, and proposed we meet again at a wine bar next week. Until then, I kept the texting to a minimum.

Second Date
We met at a wine bar. She showed up dressed very stylishly again. Not too much to say here. The vibe continued, but it didn't really go further. I think at the time she was dealing with hangups of some family issues at the time. So I didn't feel like a pull could happen.

Third Date
We met at another sushi restaurant near my apartment this time. Had a similarly good date, and I invited her back to my place for some Japanese whiskey afterwards. She said sure.

Escalation
I showed her around, put on some music, poured her a drink. We continued talking for awhile, until I kissed her and sexualized the vibe. I mentioned BDSM which really excited her. It was pretty straightforward to sex at this point. This is when I discovered how many private tattoos and private piercings she has, which were very very cool.

After Sex
After hanging out for a bit, she decided to take an uber home.

Key Lessons
- If you've followed my prior LRs, I mostly date Asian girls. European girls have been tough to crack for me, especially blonde Europeans with tattoos + piercings. This was a pretty cool data point.
- First LR from a fellow restaurant diner. I need to be on the lookout more whenever I'm dining solo.
- At this time, I was in a sort of weird emotional state. I had a recent negative sexual experience with a girl where she became weird/clingy afterwards, and I was leery of starting something new, hence the 3+ dates it took before we got together. This made me very not needy (I literally didn't want to have sex with anyone). This made her chase me harder. I think if I had pushed for a lay on date 1, it wouldn't have happened.
 

KJ Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
773
Nice one! Did you pay for dates 2 and 3 as well? Paying for relatively more expensive outings like wine and sushi and still avoiding LMR and boyfriend expectations sounds pretty skillful.

Did you establish a sexual frame at any point before the pull? Or disqualify yourself as a boyfriend in any way?

Did you see her again after this? Or was she based in Norway and visiting one of her store locations?
 

Proper

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jan 23, 2021
Messages
93
Did you pay for dates 2 and 3 as well
She paid for date 2, I think we split date 3.
Did you establish a sexual frame at any point before the pull?
At one point she asked me to tell her a secret, and I said I'm into BDSM.

Sorry guys, I realize I probably left out some important details on this LR, given it was so long ago. I'm only remembering the details after being prodded.
Or disqualify yourself as a boyfriend in any way?
Yeah, I made it clear that I was dealing with some lingering negative energy from prior girls, and wasn't looking for something serious at the time. Also that I was seeing a different girl as a FB.
Did you see her again after this? Or was she based in Norway and visiting one of her store locations?
Yeah saw her again a few times after this. But there's a bit of an energy mismatch for this to work as a long-term thing.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

KJ Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
773
Ahh ok, thank you for the additional details! It's cool to see how you can run a classy date/seduction, but just a couple subtle comments could totally reframe her expectations in the right direction.

I've enjoyed this style in the past too, where you can see one little seed planted in her head getting her mind turning, and one little knowing glance exchanged between you leads to lots of sexual tension.
 
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