DoWhatWorks Lessons From Girls...

[DoWhatWorks]

So I often find myself re-learning old lessons when I’ve made a mistake either due to:

1) rust (as rotations can make you lazy)
2) human error
3) not recognising different forms of old patterns.
4) seeing success in spite of bad habits

Have found some of my old notes quite insightful so thought I’d share them here and it may build out to a whole on-going thread.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Most recent lesson: momentum is key

On a recent day game lay it took me 7 days and 2 meets.

In contrast I missed out on a girl I was really into recently because I saw her on a Sunday and wasn’t able to see her for 2 weeks’ as I was on holiday.

Met her via nightgame on Thursday then booked in a date on Sunday. What I should have done however is booked her in for Friday (the next day ) as she was quite keen and said she only had plans on Saturday night.

This would mean I’d have good momentum to either sleep with her 1st time on Friday, then lock her in on Sunday before I go on holiday OR follow a 2-date model at the very worst.

I went for Sunday (where we both had limited time) to not be too keen but the truth is if a girl is into you, you can skip the “rules” & ultimately give her what she wants. A top notch cool guy.

 

[DarkKnight]

It is shocking isnt it how many times we forget what made us good. How we forget basic fundamentals and start to reach with tangent goals while our base is being forgotten.

 

[James Cruse]

Most recent lesson: momentum is key

On a recent day game lay it took me 7 days and 2 meets.

In contrast I missed out on a girl I was really into recently because I saw her on a Sunday and wasn’t able to see her for 2 weeks’ as I was on holiday.

Met her via nightgame on Thursday then booked in a date on Sunday. What I should have done however is booked her in for Friday (the next day ) as she was quite keen and said she only had plans on Saturday night.

This would mean I’d have good momentum to either sleep with her 1st time on Friday, then lock her in on Sunday before I go on holiday OR follow a 2-date model at the very worst.

I went for Sunday (where we both had limited time) to not be too keen but the truth is if a girl is into you, you can skip the “rules” & ultimately give her what she wants. A top notch cool guy.

I’ve been finding this out for myself the hard way. I’ve been observing it in alot of seduction coaches aswell.

I found out how important momentum is to my life, my game and how people respond to me.
After Covid lockdowns, I found I had so much more approach anxiety going out daygaming again, where there was almost none prior to lockdowns.
I also found how rusty my game became just from atrophying during lockdowns and lack of people and mask wearing.

Lack of gym workouts also really took a toll with motivation for going back to the gym, which took a long time to get back to, with my body just rejecting regular workouts with sickness & all sorts of other stuff.

MOMENTUM IS KING!
Once that momentum is lost, you have taken several steps back and you need to start back there to return to where you were before momentum was lost.

I think the best writing about this is 60 Years of Challenge’s - Game Revision System had a very useful and inspiring section about momentum and micro-avoidances.

 

[Derek da man]

In another post I said I was open to suggestions from others on further reading/articles etc. @SunKing was kind enough to provide a short list of articles. Most of them I have read in the past, more than a year ago, but rather than think "I had read them and knew them" I took the time to read them again. WOW - there is a whole new layer I'm seeing now and I'm also seeing practical ways to apply things in them. I guess part of it is that, as you say, we forget stuff, but also I think that we all relate things to most recent life experiences based on current skill levels, both of which have changed vastly for me in the last 6 months for me. So yes, I'm uncovering new insights all the time.

 

[Rakehell]

Glad I’m not the only one who feels like they forget key things. I started bookmarking a lot of the more impactful gc articles that helped me improve. I also have some vids saved of guy’s i’ve modeled after vibe wise. Still find myself forgetting sometimes but it helps.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Positive Lesson Today: Always end things with girls on a good note

An old Au Pair FB from 3 years ago hit me up yesterday & long story short slept with me today

She went back to her home country & aside from occasional “Merry Christmas” we never spoke.

The deadly combination of:

1) Laying a significant number of girls

2) Giving them a good experience

3) Not being clingy

Means you literally can build orbiters who pop in and out of your life. Meaning you’re never without options even if you aren’t gaming.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Good stuff here! I just want to take a second to clarify some terminology... because I use the word "momentum" a lot and I mean something different from the way you use the term.

Both ways are valid, it's just one of those things where one word has two meanings... for example, the word samadhi means something very different in yoga than it does in theravada and that can lead to pretty funny debates.

You seem to be using the word momentum in the sense of "strike the iron while it's hot"... if you have too much time without furthering the interaction from the time you first met her, it can fizzle out. I call this "recency". Love systems called this "emotional momentum".

The way I use the word "momentum" is, how much sex have you had recently, how many approaches have you been doing, how much success have you been having lately.

Both are valid and very important, just clarifying that when I say momentum I usually mean "recent successes", whereas when you say momentum it sounds like you mean "strike the iron while it's hot" (which I call "recency").

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Both are valid and very important, just clarifying that when I say momentum I usually mean "recent successes", whereas when you say momentum it sounds like you mean "strike the iron while it's hot" (which I call "recency").

Ahh interesting point! I actually use both interchangeably but meant “recency” in my example above.

Agreed both are definitely important and feed into each other. E.g. Recent successes makes you a lot better at taking advantage of recency

 

[DoWhatWorks]

The difference between persisting and chasing is her investment in you

Recently locked in a girl from night game which 6 months ago I would of messed up due to bad texting.

She ignored 1 of my texts & I re-ignited by waiting 2 full days before sending a relevant meme after calling her.

After the icebreaker text conversation she took 24-48 hours to respond with blunt texts and I matched it with short yet fun messages before soft closing a few days later with “how does bumping into me sound?” When she mentioned she was free on Saturday night when going out with her girlfriends.

She ends up texting me at 2am with “you out” & the rest is history

Had she ignored my initial Ping, carrying on would of killed it but as she responded it was just about matching her investment level & escalating things at the right time

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Perform actions that have good odds, always be willing to let a girl go and never “force it”

Been getting hung up on my lower retention recently and after self reflecting it’s due to:

1. Me wanting retention so much that I’m being sloppy/ less calibrated in my game

2. Not deep diving so girls feel like I “get” them. Right now many girls I sleep with don’t feel unique or validated so I’m just a dildo lol. To gain FB’s I’ll need to increase B/buddy vibe slightly with my ONS

When I look at the girls I locked in this year, I hit both those points even though they were “harder” IE more promiscuous types who’re less likely to stick around.

Have to accept the only thing you can control is yourself and your actions. Everything after that is a fun bonus

 

[Skills]

Perform actions that have good odds, always be willing to let a girl go and never “force it”

^ this is one of the toughest most painful skills to master. You need to be stoic like, hard, icey... willing to let any girl walk super important skill.. once you master this you will not lose girls or they come back.

 

[Skjöldr]

It is shocking isnt it how many times we forget what made us good. How we forget basic fundamentals and start to reach with tangent goals while our base is being forgotten.

Incredibly good and short read.

 

[Alpha13SC]

Perform actions that have good odds, always be willing to let a girl go and never “force it”

Been getting hung up on my lower retention recently and after self reflecting it’s due to:

1. Me wanting retention so much that I’m being sloppy/ less calibrated in my game

2. Not deep diving so girls feel like I “get” them. Right now many girls I sleep with don’t feel unique or validated so I’m just a dildo lol. To gain FB’s I’ll need to increase B/buddy vibe slightly with my ONS

When I look at the girls I locked in this year, I hit both those points even though they were “harder” IE more promiscuous types who’re less likely to stick around.

Have to accept the only thing you can control is yourself and your actions. Everything after that is a fun bonus

I think this sums up your situation.

Anyway, regarding retention I saw it can be a problem if you don't fuck them good so they have a very reason to come back. I m pointing this because sometimes in my past once I was inserting my dick, it was game over, job done, another one, thinking about who will be next and didn't focus too much on the sex itself.

Also something that I experienced is using @Skills love bombing method (he has a post about how he gave about 20 orgasms to a girl in one night). Used it before, but after reading it, it confirmed my theory and focused on it much more. Whenever I used it successfully, the girl was invested as fuck. For example, did dis with last girl, 1st time date sex and she kept double texting me a lot, even if I let her on seen multiple times.

Alpha13SC

 

[Skills]

I think this sums up your situation.

Anyway, regarding retention I saw it can be a problem if you don't fuck them good so they have a very reason to come back. I m pointing this because sometimes in my past once I was inserting my dick, it was game over, job done, another one, thinking about who will be next and didn't focus too much on the sex itself.

Also something that I experienced is using @Skills love bombing method (he has a post about how he gave about 20 orgasms to a girl in one night). Used it before, but after reading it, it confirmed my theory and focused on it much more. Whenever I used it successfully, the girl was invested as fuck. For example, did dis with last girl, 1st time date sex and she kept double texting me a lot, even if I let her on seen multiple times.

Alpha13SC

Yeah the love bombardment. I forgot about it, cause is so powerful that it was causing a bunch of issues... but yeah if done right that totally would flip dynamics, i actually consider dark seduction cause you are getting emotional attachment indirectly....

 

[DoWhatWorks]

I think this sums up your situation.

Anyway, regarding retention I saw it can be a problem if you don't fuck them good so they have a very reason to come back. I m pointing this because sometimes in my past once I was inserting my dick, it was game over, job done, another one, thinking about who will be next and didn't focus too much on the sex itself.

Also something that I experienced is using @Skills love bombing method (he has a post about how he gave about 20 orgasms to a girl in one night). Used it before, but after reading it, it confirmed my theory and focused on it much more. Whenever I used it successfully, the girl was invested as fuck. For example, did dis with last girl, 1st time date sex and she kept double texting me a lot, even if I let her on seen multiple times.

Alpha13SC

Lol that DJ Khaled post made me chuckle.
Thanks for sharing the skills thing, going to be trying it on one of my more colder & hard to pin down FB’s

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Latest lesson: Be interested but not reliant (on any one girl)

The way you do that is always have multiple girls you're working on or most ideally sleeping with.

Couple cool things have happened recently:

1) Got a girl's Instagram from the subway (I usually take numbers or nothing but thought let's experiment). She was being a little hard to get so I just left her on seen and later on she told me she was free on Monday (today).

I ended up flaking anyway but was interesting to see.

2) A girl I slept with with twice with the last time being 4 months ago came out and slept with me for a 3rd time. Our last text exchange was me trying to get her out and she was being wishy washy so I left it and circled back with a low effort "roller skate emoji" ping (inside joke)

Think the reason for these experiences is girls can tell I'm interested but not reliant. If I see her again. cool. If I never see her again... Also cool.

These experiences have also made me understand why Skills was so stubborn with the "never delete a number rule". You never know when a girl will come back round so you can just give them space and low effort ping in the future.

I must say I still think that's for intermediate and above, most guys should delete numbers of girls who aren't investing back.

Overall though still feeling "bored" with girls... Focusing on other things and only pursuing ones that get me excited vs just being attractive enough

 

[Skills]

I must say I still think that's for intermediate and above, most guys should delete numbers of girls who aren't investing back.

No! there is no need to delete number beginner, intermediate or whatever... That is no a long term solution, being able to no contact and invest in a number that is a long term solution... Does not matter level, self control and being stoic is skill that is part of the path...

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Does not matter level, self control and being stoic is skill that is part of the path...

I agree but think you’re underestimating how bad (me included) beginners can be.

My results dramatically increased when I cut of girls who didn’t invest. It’s because number hoarding can give a *false* sense of abundance.

A lot of the “special girl” guys would improve far more deleting that person’s no. vs keeping it

The self-control & stoicism comes with experience.

I’ll be fair it may just be my ego hating being rejected by girls I knew better than to text lol

Comes down to the persons preference

 

[Will_V]

No! there is no need to delete number beginner, intermediate or whatever... That is no a long term solution, being able to no contact and invest in a number that is a long term solution... Does not matter level, self control and being stoic is skill that is part of the path...

Yeah I agree. It's like if you try to forget something negative that happened to you, the part of you that had trouble dealing with it never gets the chance to properly win the battle, and it stays there as an open loop.

On a similar note, I never found that barricading myself from 'addictive' elements in my life - things like youtube, video games, etc - ever worked very well. It just increased my general sense of irritation and internal division, and validated the part of me that was lacking control. The only thing that consistently works for me in these scenarios is developing the ability to calm down, become unreactive to the situation, and develop a strong sense of desire and identification toward whatever it is I want to do instead.

The only time I would suggest removing things intentionally from your life is when they actively interfere with your present reality through one of the senses, but that's certainly not the case with the numbers of girls that have ghosted.