Maybe it's your lack of understanding about psychology, but from what I wrote, it's clear that the symptoms come from trauma, not autism.
So it's CPTSD and a lot of BPD traits. These can present as autism, but they are acquired in childhood.
Ah. That makes sense then. Thanks for the correction.
I was well acquainted with a BPD seducer who'd been heavily traumatized in his youth. He was incredibly talented with girls, but he could often seem autistic-like with the long rants he'd get into, the total obliviousness to others' true motivations, and his constant suspicion of others, extreme sensitivity to any criticism whatsoever, and relentless focus on getting everyone around him to continually validate and reassure him.
Major differences between you and him: he kept it together enough to not fight with absolutely everyone all the time, he worked his ass off to master seduction and approach it methodically, and the only people who knew there was something off about him were those who got close enough. To everyone else he was just magnetic and charismatic and maybe a
little bit too girl-crazy.
(come to think of it, from the other BPD seducers I have known less well than that individual, but also gotten to see a lot, they also had behaviors that made me say, "Wait, is he autistic? How does he not know this is a
faux pas? I thought BPDs had scary social intuition?" Interesting. I guess the catch there is that BPDs like autists are both normal/high sympathy but low empathy, and struggle to understand the motives and intentions of others. Autists because they psychologically can't, or only can with great mental effort; BPDs because they're constantly in such a stress state that they have enormous trouble focusing on anything other than their own insecurity / incessant inner fear & neediness)
And the way you listed all my shortcomings here.. makes me think you (or most people here) really aren't equipped to help me (which everyone should be - we aren't trying to create an ableist society where healthy people are better off, are we?).
- You specifically asked for what behaviors were causing others to view you as looking/sounding autistic.
- You're right, we are not equipped to be your therapists. That's why I wrote this post and referred you to it last time we did this.
Anyway, from the previous CPTSD/BPD dudes melting down we have had on here, I know where this inevitably goes, and it isn't anywhere good, nor is it conducive to either you learning to be a better seducer or socializer, or anyone else on here being able to focus on what he is here to focus on or just generally exist without constant dramatic outbursts.
Therefore,
I bring down the ban hammer -- but with a parting well wish:
I hope you will investigate
dialectical behavioral therapy, if you have not already; it is the only repeatedly scientifically validated approach for resolving the difficulties you are dealing with. You can
get the handbook to self-teach, and seek out a therapist who specializes in this (it will be way, way more productive than any other therapist following any other approach).
I would also suggest you read
@Carousel's post on
trauma releasing exercises, if you have not seen that one yet.
I would cool it on the approaches for now.
Get your
basic social aptitude up first.
Accept that with BPD you are going to regularly burn down social circles due to a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy: you predict that people will leave you, so behave in ways that burn through your relationships with others, exhaust them, and force them to have to cut you off. So, until you have fixed that issue (which you will only do via DBT), you must work on your charm, which you are also lacking in right now, so that at least you can quickly get set up with new girls and new friends every time you burn a relationship out.
Sorry to ban you. I'm sure you will feel victimized. Please understand:
People with your spectrum of issues, once they go on a validation rampage like the one you're on (demanding everyone focus on them, tend to them, and set aside everything else in their lives to make the CPTSD/BPD individual the center of their universes), destroy any circle they're a part of if they are not removed, simply because other people have lives, loads of problems of their own, and limited bandwidth to devote to any individual other person -- especially if that person is not also contributing value back to them.
It is a sorry state -- and again, it is why you need
specialized help.
I hope you get it, man.
Chase
