Fear of other people

[JonnyMaddox]

Try doing the newbie challenge. My first step was just saying hi to people. Was hard enough at that point, but much easier than a full approach.

The problem with this is, that I'am kind of over this stage. A few years ago, like 7 years, i did a few approaches every now and then. But it was always women that walked alone with no people around. So very low number of contacts and I became demotivated. Today there's still this problem of the fear of what other people think. The difference is I don't like following them around anymore. I was always walking or, if short distance, running creepily behind the women to come near her and then approach her. I don't do this anymore. I think it's inappropriate and silly. I want to do it more naturally. If I'am really honest, I have fear of people or the woman calling me too old. I'am 36 (but at least some people told me I look much younger). Ok i could only approach women of my age, but that will shrink the numbers a lot. I mean of course I don't approach girls that are 18 or so anymore, or at least only indirect or something (like the one girl at the bus station).

But maybe I could start doing this "saying hi" thing when people are around or the women is near me in the city. I could try that actually. But I hope it wont destroy my earlier ability of talking to them. I had no problems approaching them alone.

Well. Still I don't know. Often I just dont concentrate and my mind is full of thoughts. Man, i have to do this, i have to force myself doing it to actually improve.

I hope it's ok that I write all this stuff here, even if only a few people comment. I just me to write my experiences down somewhere.

 

[gameboy]

I believe the appropriate thing for the forum would be to start a journal. When I started posting here it was a bit similar like you did, I wrote an outing report (about failing to approach haha), then got some feedback, and it turned into a journal so an admin moved it into the journals board at some point.

As for approaching, if you've done it but it's long ago then you're probably a bit rusty. Maybe say hi once or twice as a warmup, and then when you feel ready you can do a more elaborate approach. But anyway, these are only suggestions. Whatever works best for you.

And regarding age, well I turned 50 a few months ago so there you go. I approach women of all ages but honestly, I prefer them in their 20s and 30s. Some early-20s girls have responded quite well so far! Though I'm still a beginner. I had a lot of approach anxiety but it's getting better.