LR Fresh Off the Bus (daygame SDL)

[Atlas IV]

Writing this one down so that I don't forget it as it was a real satisfying seduction, and it gave me some useful insights that I thought worth sharing.

Pattaya, Thailand

I arrived on Monday for a couple of days to get alternative medicine for a condition I have that is flaring up recently.

Some people come to Pattaya for a beach holiday, but most come for the prostitution. The bars and cafes are lined with old white men sitting alone, spending away their pensions on cheap beer and young girls. I guess I can’t judge these men. If I had spent my whole life married unhappily (and had never learned seduction) I might have ended up the same way.

I’ve been to Pattaya a couple of times before with mates, mainly to party, and I always got the sense that this city has different sides to it depending on what you are looking for. One the one hand, there is the seedy underbelly with the "gogo bars" and strip clubs. These are mostly contained in Soi 6 and around the Walking Street.

But Pattaya is also a weekend party destination for locals who just want to let loose. The place is charged with sexual energy, and I found that even regular girls were highly receptive to cold approach. I had a hunch that it's a place ripe for SDL opportunities with regular vacationing Thai girls who are open to a quick fling, and figured it warranted a solo trip in future to test that for myself (happy to report my hunch was right).

The Approach

After getting off the bus and checking into my hotel, around 4pm I headed to the Starbucks in the nearby mall to do some work, sitting at a large shared table with high stools that has a good view of the entire place. Starbucks often has these tables, and they’re ideal for keeping an eye out for cold approach opportunities with peripheral vision.

There were indeed opportunities, though I remained patient. In the corner a spotted a pair of girls with west asian facial features, one dressed in a white mini-top with no bra and tight mini jean shorts. I considered indirectly opening her while she went to retrieve her drink, but pussied out. I have this preconceived notion (based on my own limited experience) that girls who are dressed more revealingly are less receptive to being approached (that’s a weasel excuse for not taking the shot though).

On the other side, smoking on a bench just outside, I spied two mediterranean looking girls with jet black hair, dressed in black bikini tops and tiny board shorts. They were attracting a lot of attention, and a couple of lads in tank tops and swim trunks made what looked like an attempt to chat them up, and were aloofly dismissed. I figured they were in auto-reject mode and just enjoying the spotlight effect (again, probably my limiting beliefs).

Then, out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I spotted her - the girl I would take home later that evening. A Thai girl with blond streaks in her hair, fair skin, dressed in white pants and a white blouse, a brown leather handbag, sitting alone with a large iced chocolate drawing something on her iPad. I was considering going over and sitting opposite her, but I noticed then that she was unplugging her charger and getting ready to leave.

She got up, and I got a proper glimpse of her. Cute face and a nice figure. Definitely my type. I would take this shot.

She walked out, I waited a few seconds then discreetly went out after her. As I went to catch up with her, a group of Indian dudes walked past and all looked back in unison to check her out. Somehow that actually fuelled my motivation lol

Opened with a compliment on her fashion, being sure to draw out the tension a little with pregnant pauses:

Hey, excuse me, you speak English? Cool. Listen, I saw you in the Starbucks just now and... I just had to come and tell you... I really love your outfit. It's very well put-together, clean and bold, yet low-key... You must study fashion or something, right?

I know I've been using this "fashion" opener to death recently, but it's just such an easy go-to, and it's what comes to my mind when I see a girl who has a well put-together outfit - plus it builds some similarity as I've been working on my own fashion recently (if she has a boring outfit I'll just say she looks nice).

She hooked pretty quickly, smiling bashfully. She said she studies English, is from another city and just came to intern at a hotel for a couple of weeks, and this is was her last day in town. The stars were really aligned for this one.

I asked what she was doing now, she said just going to explore a cafe (sounded like no concrete plan). I suggested we meet up later for a drink and to hang out. She looked away and went "ummm", pondering it for a moment, then said okay. Got her number and went back to work.

Texting

Texted her about 40 mins later after the icebreaker text.

Me: well I just finished my work for the day
Me: still keen to hang out later? I know a great place for bubble tea, or we could find somewhere for a cold smoothie
Her: Sure, but right now I'm at (national park viewpoint)
Me: Oh wow you arrived there very fast
Me: Alright, I'm gonna go back and drop off my laptop first. How about we meet up around 7:30pm?
Her: Sounds good! See you at 7:30pm then

I was honestly unprepared for a date so soon after arriving, so I quickly searched Google Maps for ideas and came up with a logistical plan.

The Date

I'll keep this part brief. We met at the mall, walked along the beach path to a bubble tea shop, sat there for about 30 mins where I did some light deep diving and built similarity over passion for languages and travel. Then we walked on to the Walking Street (where all the bars and strip clubs are). Upon seeing how seedy it was, and finding out that she was hungry, I suggested taking a taxi to a nice little air-conditioned pizza and deli place (conveniently across the road from my hotel) that closes late. There we sat side by side, and I did some light touch escalation and ran a couple of my go-to "sex talk lite" gambits (love languages and the chemistry gambit). After the pizza (there was still tons left over), we headed to my hotel to "put it in the fridge" and listen to some music (which I had seeded by talking about Latin America and sexy reggaeton music like Bad Bunny, which made her light up). The rest was history.

It was another fairly standard seduction for me. Rather than recount all the details step by step, I'll list some interesting takeaways that I think helped shape it:

- Restrained physical escalation. Other than occasionally brushing her arm, lightly but firmly touching her back when crossing the road, and some very light touching of her hair in an inspectional manner, I did not escalate much until we were at my place, and even then it was very gradual and natural focused on massages, with no overt displays of eagerness. I think this has a slingshot effect on the sexual tension - like the logic in @Teevster's Self Control is Sexy gambit. It leaves more to the imagination, leaves her wanting more and more.

- Deep diving fractionated with mild aloofness. The is something I've learned since watching all the infields of this Elon guy (who I realize I've mentioned incessantly recently, only because his aloof, qualifying-based game is the dimension that was lacking from mine for so long). His weakness I believe is that he doesn't deep dive effectively in the way Chase teaches (the emotional feedback technique), which I also believe contributes to the LMR he faces (he has a whole component on LMR). Anyway, the combination of Chase's emotional deep diving alternated with mild disinterest seems like dynamite for chase framing (just don't go overboard with the disinterest).

- Pattern interrupt with date choice. Most of what there is to do in Pattaya at night involves drinking, and I decided to run this date sober for a couple of reasons. One, I want to cut alcohol out of my life. Two, I knew that she would expect me to invite her out for drinks, which itself carries the anticipation of leading to sex, and I foresaw leading to possibly triggering a Female State Control reaction. I wanted to scramble her radar a little, make myself less predictable. It worked, and I got no LMR. I believe that's a powerful lever in attraction.

- Meshing into her social frame through establishing similarity. I knew that she studies English, so it was easy for me to deep dive her on languages (I speak several - though I did not mention that until she asked) and relate via some brief, meaningful stories from my travels. This pretty solidly covered the Similarity component of SAC.

- Sexual framing in subtle ways. A little tactic I remember from Tom Torero is to see if you can throw in the word "sexy" when possible, and lean into the word for impact. So, for example, she was telling me about how she had the choice between studying French and Chinese, and she chose French, I said: "why French? Oh... well I can take a guess, it is one of the sexiest sounding languages, especially compared to Chinese," which she laughed at.

And lastly, there is my appearance, which I think was kinda fashionable (for the standards of that place anyway) and matching to her style. In fact, I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent here...

--On appearance and archetypes--

On this I have to give @Spike due credit. While I find him a bit abrasive (at times) and probably judged him a bit harshly, he's brought a perspective to the forum which I think is gamechanging, and that is the idea of using your appearance to make yourself into a girl's archetype to streamline the seduction.

I realized this acutely the next day as I was waiting for my bus back to Bangkok. As I went to sit down by the coffee stall outside, an insanely hot girl dressed in distinctly hipster fashion with baggy jeans and a cool japanese hairstyle, gave me a blantant IOI. I mean stared at me twice. I gave her a smile, she turned away bashfully and put on her headphones.

A couple of minutes later, I went over to order a tea, and opened her with a compliment on her fashion. But after about 30 seconds, two guys came and sat either side of her. They were either gay friends or simps competing over her - one buying her coffee and the other carrying her handbag. They walked off together, joking and laughing, her being the focus of their attention.

Her IOI was unmistakable. But it was strange - I do not normally get that from such hot girls. But then I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and it dawned on me.

With my dark shaded John Lennon sunglasses, my long hair parted down the middle, white baggy Zara pants (and probably the afterglow of a great sexual conquest the night before), I looked like a hipster, possibly even exactly the kind of guy she fucks. She was perhaps even a bit sexually frustrated, being in Pattaya but unable to get with either of the simpy guys she was with on their trip without risk of social repercussions.

Had I been quicker at the trigger, I could have at least exchanged contacts with her before her male friends came back.

But it's experiences like this that make me aware that my appearance is super important. I would say, aside from my fundamentals, it's one of the biggest factors that's improved my results over the past year (she would not have looked at me twice if I were dressed the way I was a year ago).

So refining my appearance to match the social frame of the hottest girls I want to seduce is a new priority. I'm keeping an eye out for fashion trends (though it's hard because most guys here are horribly unfashionable). Being plugged into social media will help a lot.

--End of tangent--

Conclusion

Gonna sound a bit egotistical here, but I honestly surprise myself at what I'm capable of sometimes. Walking into that Starbucks barely a few hours after I arrived, I had really no expectations other than perhaps making some approaches and collecting a few numbers to follow up with later. This was a one-shot lay with literally the first girl I approached, who also turned out to be one of the cutest, sweetest and most fun girls I've met in the past few months.

There's still that voice in my head that tries to rationalize it: "You just got lucky meeting a super cute girl who happened to be an English major on her last day in a sexually-charged tourist town." Yeah, I guess that's true to some extent. What about all the other times these past few weeks pulling off similar stuff? I guess I get lucky a lot, huh.

Better explanation would be that I'm getting better at identifying opportunities, capitalizing on them, and all the while refining the process of seduction.

The work is paying off. Feels good

 

[Bismarck]

Thanks for this (great again but you already know that). I especially appreciate all the detail.

Could you clarify for me a couple of things:

1. What is the chemistry gambit like - if you've mentioned it before, linking will suffice. As for the love languages I suppose it's just asking her what hers are
2. What is the emotional feedback technique?
3. Regarding self-control when escalating, do you mean that you didn't start showing you're too keen by giving her too much affection before you were inside her?

A recent near brush with twat (in my latest journal post) where the girl asked me "Why me?" when we were on my bed made me consider that my deep diving (comfort, trust, making her feel special) maybe isn't on point yet.

 

[Spike]

As I went to sit down by the coffee stall outside, an insanely hot girl dressed in distinctly hipster fashion with baggy jeans and a cool japanese hairstyle, gave me a blantant IOI. I mean stared at me twice.

Yup. Welcome to a whole new reality. Your welcome

 

[Atlas IV]

Thanks for this (great again but you already know that). I especially appreciate all the detail.

Glad for it!

Could you clarify for me a couple of things:

Yes, sorry I just read over those now and it's a bit of a logical mess (and I can't edit for some reason). Guess I was still on my "alternative medicine" when I wrote that part

1. What is the chemistry gambit like - if you've mentioned it before, linking will suffice. As for the love languages I suppose it's just asking her what hers are

Here is the chemistry gambit which I found originally posted by Skjoldr. It's a gambit I read once, and stuck with me so well that I run it on almost every date. It doesn't even require transitioning into. It's emotionally stimulating and creates a "chemistry" and "feeling" hook that you can tap into later to diffuse her ASD. Super useful.

1. What is the emotional feedback technique?

Basically the described in this article on active listening. I think of it as emotional feedback, because the idea is that you listen to what she says, then feed the emotional part of it back to her so that she feels more understood by you.

1. Regarding self-control when escalating, do you mean that you didn't start showing you're too keen by giving her too much affection before you were inside her?

Yes, exactly. I think I've always made the mistake of showing too much physical affection on the date (because I'm naturally an affectionate guy), thinking that it's the best way for sexual escalation. Now, after experimenting with aloofness (and how even being too aloof can lead to LMR), I think I've hit a balance. Treating it like an electrical current - use it too much and it will lose its effect, but a jolt every now and again keeps things exciting for her while retaining enough ambiguity to keep her chasing.

A recent near brush with twat (in my latest journal post) where the girl asked me "Why me?" when we were on my bed made me consider that my deep diving (comfort, trust, making her feel special) maybe isn't on point yet.

Just read your post. I'm envious man, you approached every attractive girl you saw that day with no hesitation. I can definitely learn from that!

As for the almost-SDL with that Chinese girl looking for directions (bravo!), I think you did pretty much everything you could. Her "why me?" question is a pretty standard LMR objection (which is actually a good thing - means she's already at the decision point, just needs help getting across the line). You could have thrown every comfort gambit at her and she would still have given you that objection. The way I see it, her verbalizing the objection is a way of helping you get towards intimacy, so I'd frame it as a positive.

The biggest roadblock seems to have been the fact that she was sexually inexperienced. If it hurt her just to put your finger inside, she might be either a virgin or got some sexual repression issues. I had an almost identical experience with a girl in Wuhan that I didn't write about (she was a virgin and she was tight as an asshole - couldn't get any further than eating her out).

Also, you made her orgasm and then...

She said she didn’t like sex, and that she preferred cuddling. She said she didn’t like connecting with people. She was a bit of a contrarian, with weird viewpoints, but I just thought it was cute.

In my experience, that's often the sort of thing a girl says when she's only ever had a bad sexual experience and created a mental block around it. I've been blueballed a few times with girls like this. Still haven't figured a solution, and my theory is that its the manifestation of trauma. I try to filter them out and go for girls who are more sexually open-minded.

 

[Bismarck]

Thanks for your detailed reply! I'm going to look into your responses to my queries to optimize future seductions.

I appreciate the kudos, especially coming from someone with as much success as yourself.

Yeah, I thought that was it as well (she even told me, on Tuesday night, that she had had a bad experience, or met a bad guy or something), but now I'm a bit ambivalent about it. She hit me up last night on WhatsApp with "I need your help" and produced some story about having caught the wrong trains and needing a place to stay for one final night in the city. "Do you have a couch where I can sleep?"

I accepted albeit at the expense of another day of productive work (today) and this time she sat on my face so I would muffdive her, saying at one point something like "There is no rush, we can go bit by bit" (meaning, we don't have to have sex yet) when I was telling her I could put on a condom to her resistance to penetration.

However, again, when I had my finger inside her, she said it hurt.

Anyway, I made her cum with the dive and she fell asleep with her arms wrapped around me, which was pleasant but meant I didn't get much shut-eye FML. She wants to meet again, but I'm beginning to feel gamed, if you get my meaning. I mean, it's female game to delay giving away the chocha.

 

[Atlas IV]

Anyway, I made her cum with the dive and she fell asleep with her arms wrapped around me, which was pleasant but meant I didn't get much shut-eye FML. She wants to meet again, but I'm beginning to feel gamed, if you get my meaning. I mean, it's female game to delay giving away the chocha.

I get what you mean, though I don't think this is about delaying sex for commitment.

There are some Chinese girls who have an irrational fear of the pain of sex. This fear makes them anxious and tighten up, which makes it more painful. It's a negative feedback loop.

They'll make their boyfriend wait for months before finally working up the courage to overcome their fear.

(How do I know this? I've been that boyfriend it took months to overcome this fear with two girlfriends in my pre-seduction days. also heard about this from other girls I've slept with.)

But yeah, it sounds like your sleep is worth more than this, so I wouldn't bother with her again. Just make it clear to her that it's too frustrating sleeping together without being able to have sex.

 

[Bismarck]

Again, I appreciate your insights, especially your expertise with girls from the Middle Kingdom.

I sent her an audio basically saying that I enjoyed being with her but so far it had just been me giving her what she wants, and that unless she told me in no uncertain terms that she intends to give me what I want, that it would be best if we went our separate ways.

(I asked her to "taste me" (inspired by Wassupmypeepz (I used to tell them to "give it a little kiss")) and she said "no", which, especially in a scenario where I have already muffdived her, I consider unsportsmanlike).