- Joined
- May 21, 2023
- Messages
- 412
Writing this one down so that I don't forget it as it was a real satisfying seduction, and it gave me some useful insights that I thought worth sharing.
Pattaya, Thailand
I arrived on Monday for a couple of days to get alternative medicine for a condition I have that is flaring up recently.
Some people come to Pattaya for a beach holiday, but most come for the prostitution. The bars and cafes are lined with old white men sitting alone, spending away their pensions on cheap beer and young girls. I guess I can’t judge these men. If I had spent my whole life married unhappily (and had never learned seduction) I might have ended up the same way.
I’ve been to Pattaya a couple of times before with mates, mainly to party, and I always got the sense that this city has different sides to it depending on what you are looking for. One the one hand, there is the seedy underbelly with the "gogo bars" and strip clubs. These are mostly contained in Soi 6 and around the Walking Street.
But Pattaya is also a weekend party destination for locals who just want to let loose. The place is charged with sexual energy, and I found that even regular girls were highly receptive to cold approach. I had a hunch that it's a place ripe for SDL opportunities with regular vacationing Thai girls who are open to a quick fling, and figured it warranted a solo trip in future to test that for myself (happy to report my hunch was right).
The Approach
After getting off the bus and checking into my hotel, around 4pm I headed to the Starbucks in the nearby mall to do some work, sitting at a large shared table with high stools that has a good view of the entire place. Starbucks often has these tables, and they’re ideal for keeping an eye out for cold approach opportunities with peripheral vision.
There were indeed opportunities, though I remained patient. In the corner a spotted a pair of girls with west asian facial features, one dressed in a white mini-top with no bra and tight mini jean shorts. I considered indirectly opening her while she went to retrieve her drink, but pussied out. I have this preconceived notion (based on my own limited experience) that girls who are dressed more revealingly are less receptive to being approached (that’s a weasel excuse for not taking the shot though).
On the other side, smoking on a bench just outside, I spied two mediterranean looking girls with jet black hair, dressed in black bikini tops and tiny board shorts. They were attracting a lot of attention, and a couple of lads in tank tops and swim trunks made what looked like an attempt to chat them up, and were aloofly dismissed. I figured they were in auto-reject mode and just enjoying the spotlight effect (again, probably my limiting beliefs).
Then, out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I spotted her - the girl I would take home later that evening. A Thai girl with blond streaks in her hair, fair skin, dressed in white pants and a white blouse, a brown leather handbag, sitting alone with a large iced chocolate drawing something on her iPad. I was considering going over and sitting opposite her, but I noticed then that she was unplugging her charger and getting ready to leave.
She got up, and I got a proper glimpse of her. Cute face and a nice figure. Definitely my type. I would take this shot.
She walked out, I waited a few seconds then discreetly went out after her. As I went to catch up with her, a group of Indian dudes walked past and all looked back in unison to check her out. Somehow that actually fuelled my motivation lol
Opened with a compliment on her fashion, being sure to draw out the tension a little with pregnant pauses:
Hey, excuse me, you speak English? Cool. Listen, I saw you in the Starbucks just now and... I just had to come and tell you... I really love your outfit. It's very well put-together, clean and bold, yet low-key... You must study fashion or something, right?
I know I've been using this "fashion" opener to death recently, but it's just such an easy go-to, and it's what comes to my mind when I see a girl who has a well put-together outfit - plus it builds some similarity as I've been working on my own fashion recently (if she has a boring outfit I'll just say she looks nice).
She hooked pretty quickly, smiling bashfully. She said she studies English, is from another city and just came to intern at a hotel for a couple of weeks, and this is was her last day in town. The stars were really aligned for this one.
I asked what she was doing now, she said just going to explore a cafe (sounded like no concrete plan). I suggested we meet up later for a drink and to hang out. She looked away and went "ummm", pondering it for a moment, then said okay. Got her number and went back to work.
Texting
Texted her about 40 mins later after the icebreaker text.
I was honestly unprepared for a date so soon after arriving, so I quickly searched Google Maps for ideas and came up with a logistical plan.
The Date
I'll keep this part brief. We met at the mall, walked along the beach path to a bubble tea shop, sat there for about 30 mins where I did some light deep diving and built similarity over passion for languages and travel. Then we walked on to the Walking Street (where all the bars and strip clubs are). Upon seeing how seedy it was, and finding out that she was hungry, I suggested taking a taxi to a nice little air-conditioned pizza and deli place (conveniently across the road from my hotel) that closes late. There we sat side by side, and I did some light touch escalation and ran a couple of my go-to "sex talk lite" gambits (love languages and the chemistry gambit). After the pizza (there was still tons left over), we headed to my hotel to "put it in the fridge" and listen to some music (which I had seeded by talking about Latin America and sexy reggaeton music like Bad Bunny, which made her light up). The rest was history.
It was another fairly standard seduction for me. Rather than recount all the details step by step, I'll list some interesting takeaways that I think helped shape it:
- Restrained physical escalation. Other than occasionally brushing her arm, lightly but firmly touching her back when crossing the road, and some very light touching of her hair in an inspectional manner, I did not escalate much until we were at my place, and even then it was very gradual and natural focused on massages, with no overt displays of eagerness. I think this has a slingshot effect on the sexual tension - like the logic in @Teevster's Self Control is Sexy gambit. It leaves more to the imagination, leaves her wanting more and more.
- Deep diving fractionated with mild aloofness. The is something I've learned since watching all the infields of this Elon guy (who I realize I've mentioned incessantly recently, only because his aloof, qualifying-based game is the dimension that was lacking from mine for so long). His weakness I believe is that he doesn't deep dive effectively in the way Chase teaches (the emotional feedback technique), which I also believe contributes to the LMR he faces (he has a whole component on LMR). Anyway, the combination of Chase's emotional deep diving alternated with mild disinterest seems like dynamite for chase framing (just don't go overboard with the disinterest).
- Pattern interrupt with date choice. Most of what there is to do in Pattaya at night involves drinking, and I decided to run this date sober for a couple of reasons. One, I want to cut alcohol out of my life. Two, I knew that she would expect me to invite her out for drinks, which itself carries the anticipation of leading to sex, and I foresaw leading to possibly triggering a Female State Control reaction. I wanted to scramble her radar a little, make myself less predictable. It worked, and I got no LMR. I believe that's a powerful lever in attraction.
- Meshing into her social frame through establishing similarity. I knew that she studies English, so it was easy for me to deep dive her on languages (I speak several - though I did not mention that until she asked) and relate via some brief, meaningful stories from my travels. This pretty solidly covered the Similarity component of SAC.
- Sexual framing in subtle ways. A little tactic I remember from Tom Torero is to see if you can throw in the word "sexy" when possible, and lean into the word for impact. So, for example, she was telling me about how she had the choice between studying French and Chinese, and she chose French, I said: "why French? Oh... well I can take a guess, it is one of the sexiest sounding languages, especially compared to Chinese," which she laughed at.
And lastly, there is my appearance, which I think was kinda fashionable (for the standards of that place anyway) and matching to her style. In fact, I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent here...
--On appearance and archetypes--
On this I have to give @Spike due credit. While I find him a bit abrasive (at times) and probably judged him a bit harshly, he's brought a perspective to the forum which I think is gamechanging, and that is the idea of using your appearance to make yourself into a girl's archetype to streamline the seduction.
I realized this acutely the next day as I was waiting for my bus back to Bangkok. As I went to sit down by the coffee stall outside, an insanely hot girl dressed in distinctly hipster fashion with baggy jeans and a cool japanese hairstyle, gave me a blantant IOI. I mean stared at me twice. I gave her a smile, she turned away bashfully and put on her headphones.
A couple of minutes later, I went over to order a tea, and opened her with a compliment on her fashion. But after about 30 seconds, two guys came and sat either side of her. They were either gay friends or simps competing over her - one buying her coffee and the other carrying her handbag. They walked off together, joking and laughing, her being the focus of their attention.
Her IOI was unmistakable. But it was strange - I do not normally get that from such hot girls. But then I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and it dawned on me.
With my dark shaded John Lennon sunglasses, my long hair parted down the middle, white baggy Zara pants (and probably the afterglow of a great sexual conquest the night before), I looked like a hipster, possibly even exactly the kind of guy she fucks. She was perhaps even a bit sexually frustrated, being in Pattaya but unable to get with either of the simpy guys she was with on their trip without risk of social repercussions.
Had I been quicker at the trigger, I could have at least exchanged contacts with her before her male friends came back.
But it's experiences like this that make me aware that my appearance is super important. I would say, aside from my fundamentals, it's one of the biggest factors that's improved my results over the past year (she would not have looked at me twice if I were dressed the way I was a year ago).
So refining my appearance to match the social frame of the hottest girls I want to seduce is a new priority. I'm keeping an eye out for fashion trends (though it's hard because most guys here are horribly unfashionable). Being plugged into social media will help a lot.
--End of tangent--
Conclusion
Gonna sound a bit egotistical here, but I honestly surprise myself at what I'm capable of sometimes. Walking into that Starbucks barely a few hours after I arrived, I had really no expectations other than perhaps making some approaches and collecting a few numbers to follow up with later. This was a one-shot lay with literally the first girl I approached, who also turned out to be one of the cutest, sweetest and most fun girls I've met in the past few months.
There's still that voice in my head that tries to rationalize it: "You just got lucky meeting a super cute girl who happened to be an English major on her last day in a sexually-charged tourist town." Yeah, I guess that's true to some extent. What about all the other times these past few weeks pulling off similar stuff? I guess I get lucky a lot, huh.
Better explanation would be that I'm getting better at identifying opportunities, capitalizing on them, and all the while refining the process of seduction.
The work is paying off. Feels good
Pattaya, Thailand
I arrived on Monday for a couple of days to get alternative medicine for a condition I have that is flaring up recently.
Some people come to Pattaya for a beach holiday, but most come for the prostitution. The bars and cafes are lined with old white men sitting alone, spending away their pensions on cheap beer and young girls. I guess I can’t judge these men. If I had spent my whole life married unhappily (and had never learned seduction) I might have ended up the same way.
I’ve been to Pattaya a couple of times before with mates, mainly to party, and I always got the sense that this city has different sides to it depending on what you are looking for. One the one hand, there is the seedy underbelly with the "gogo bars" and strip clubs. These are mostly contained in Soi 6 and around the Walking Street.
But Pattaya is also a weekend party destination for locals who just want to let loose. The place is charged with sexual energy, and I found that even regular girls were highly receptive to cold approach. I had a hunch that it's a place ripe for SDL opportunities with regular vacationing Thai girls who are open to a quick fling, and figured it warranted a solo trip in future to test that for myself (happy to report my hunch was right).
The Approach
After getting off the bus and checking into my hotel, around 4pm I headed to the Starbucks in the nearby mall to do some work, sitting at a large shared table with high stools that has a good view of the entire place. Starbucks often has these tables, and they’re ideal for keeping an eye out for cold approach opportunities with peripheral vision.
There were indeed opportunities, though I remained patient. In the corner a spotted a pair of girls with west asian facial features, one dressed in a white mini-top with no bra and tight mini jean shorts. I considered indirectly opening her while she went to retrieve her drink, but pussied out. I have this preconceived notion (based on my own limited experience) that girls who are dressed more revealingly are less receptive to being approached (that’s a weasel excuse for not taking the shot though).
On the other side, smoking on a bench just outside, I spied two mediterranean looking girls with jet black hair, dressed in black bikini tops and tiny board shorts. They were attracting a lot of attention, and a couple of lads in tank tops and swim trunks made what looked like an attempt to chat them up, and were aloofly dismissed. I figured they were in auto-reject mode and just enjoying the spotlight effect (again, probably my limiting beliefs).
Then, out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I spotted her - the girl I would take home later that evening. A Thai girl with blond streaks in her hair, fair skin, dressed in white pants and a white blouse, a brown leather handbag, sitting alone with a large iced chocolate drawing something on her iPad. I was considering going over and sitting opposite her, but I noticed then that she was unplugging her charger and getting ready to leave.
She got up, and I got a proper glimpse of her. Cute face and a nice figure. Definitely my type. I would take this shot.
She walked out, I waited a few seconds then discreetly went out after her. As I went to catch up with her, a group of Indian dudes walked past and all looked back in unison to check her out. Somehow that actually fuelled my motivation lol
Opened with a compliment on her fashion, being sure to draw out the tension a little with pregnant pauses:
Hey, excuse me, you speak English? Cool. Listen, I saw you in the Starbucks just now and... I just had to come and tell you... I really love your outfit. It's very well put-together, clean and bold, yet low-key... You must study fashion or something, right?
I know I've been using this "fashion" opener to death recently, but it's just such an easy go-to, and it's what comes to my mind when I see a girl who has a well put-together outfit - plus it builds some similarity as I've been working on my own fashion recently (if she has a boring outfit I'll just say she looks nice).
She hooked pretty quickly, smiling bashfully. She said she studies English, is from another city and just came to intern at a hotel for a couple of weeks, and this is was her last day in town. The stars were really aligned for this one.
I asked what she was doing now, she said just going to explore a cafe (sounded like no concrete plan). I suggested we meet up later for a drink and to hang out. She looked away and went "ummm", pondering it for a moment, then said okay. Got her number and went back to work.
Texting
Texted her about 40 mins later after the icebreaker text.
Me: well I just finished my work for the day
Me: still keen to hang out later?
Her: Sure, but right now I'm at (national park viewpoint)
Me: Oh wow you arrived there very fast
Me: Alright, I'm gonna go back and drop off my laptop first. How about we meet up around 7:30pm?
Her: Sounds good! See you at 7:30pm then
I was honestly unprepared for a date so soon after arriving, so I quickly searched Google Maps for ideas and came up with a logistical plan.
The Date
I'll keep this part brief. We met at the mall, walked along the beach path to a bubble tea shop, sat there for about 30 mins where I did some light deep diving and built similarity over passion for languages and travel. Then we walked on to the Walking Street (where all the bars and strip clubs are). Upon seeing how seedy it was, and finding out that she was hungry, I suggested taking a taxi to a nice little air-conditioned pizza and deli place (conveniently across the road from my hotel) that closes late. There we sat side by side, and I did some light touch escalation and ran a couple of my go-to "sex talk lite" gambits (love languages and the chemistry gambit). After the pizza (there was still tons left over), we headed to my hotel to "put it in the fridge" and listen to some music (which I had seeded by talking about Latin America and sexy reggaeton music like Bad Bunny, which made her light up). The rest was history.
It was another fairly standard seduction for me. Rather than recount all the details step by step, I'll list some interesting takeaways that I think helped shape it:
- Restrained physical escalation. Other than occasionally brushing her arm, lightly but firmly touching her back when crossing the road, and some very light touching of her hair in an inspectional manner, I did not escalate much until we were at my place, and even then it was very gradual and natural focused on massages, with no overt displays of eagerness. I think this has a slingshot effect on the sexual tension - like the logic in @Teevster's Self Control is Sexy gambit. It leaves more to the imagination, leaves her wanting more and more.
- Deep diving fractionated with mild aloofness. The is something I've learned since watching all the infields of this Elon guy (who I realize I've mentioned incessantly recently, only because his aloof, qualifying-based game is the dimension that was lacking from mine for so long). His weakness I believe is that he doesn't deep dive effectively in the way Chase teaches (the emotional feedback technique), which I also believe contributes to the LMR he faces (he has a whole component on LMR). Anyway, the combination of Chase's emotional deep diving alternated with mild disinterest seems like dynamite for chase framing (just don't go overboard with the disinterest).
- Pattern interrupt with date choice. Most of what there is to do in Pattaya at night involves drinking, and I decided to run this date sober for a couple of reasons. One, I want to cut alcohol out of my life. Two, I knew that she would expect me to invite her out for drinks, which itself carries the anticipation of leading to sex, and I foresaw leading to possibly triggering a Female State Control reaction. I wanted to scramble her radar a little, make myself less predictable. It worked, and I got no LMR. I believe that's a powerful lever in attraction.
- Meshing into her social frame through establishing similarity. I knew that she studies English, so it was easy for me to deep dive her on languages (I speak several - though I did not mention that until she asked) and relate via some brief, meaningful stories from my travels. This pretty solidly covered the Similarity component of SAC.
- Sexual framing in subtle ways. A little tactic I remember from Tom Torero is to see if you can throw in the word "sexy" when possible, and lean into the word for impact. So, for example, she was telling me about how she had the choice between studying French and Chinese, and she chose French, I said: "why French? Oh... well I can take a guess, it is one of the sexiest sounding languages, especially compared to Chinese," which she laughed at.
And lastly, there is my appearance, which I think was kinda fashionable (for the standards of that place anyway) and matching to her style. In fact, I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent here...
--On appearance and archetypes--
On this I have to give @Spike due credit. While I find him a bit abrasive (at times) and probably judged him a bit harshly, he's brought a perspective to the forum which I think is gamechanging, and that is the idea of using your appearance to make yourself into a girl's archetype to streamline the seduction.
I realized this acutely the next day as I was waiting for my bus back to Bangkok. As I went to sit down by the coffee stall outside, an insanely hot girl dressed in distinctly hipster fashion with baggy jeans and a cool japanese hairstyle, gave me a blantant IOI. I mean stared at me twice. I gave her a smile, she turned away bashfully and put on her headphones.
A couple of minutes later, I went over to order a tea, and opened her with a compliment on her fashion. But after about 30 seconds, two guys came and sat either side of her. They were either gay friends or simps competing over her - one buying her coffee and the other carrying her handbag. They walked off together, joking and laughing, her being the focus of their attention.
Her IOI was unmistakable. But it was strange - I do not normally get that from such hot girls. But then I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and it dawned on me.
With my dark shaded John Lennon sunglasses, my long hair parted down the middle, white baggy Zara pants (and probably the afterglow of a great sexual conquest the night before), I looked like a hipster, possibly even exactly the kind of guy she fucks. She was perhaps even a bit sexually frustrated, being in Pattaya but unable to get with either of the simpy guys she was with on their trip without risk of social repercussions.
Had I been quicker at the trigger, I could have at least exchanged contacts with her before her male friends came back.
But it's experiences like this that make me aware that my appearance is super important. I would say, aside from my fundamentals, it's one of the biggest factors that's improved my results over the past year (she would not have looked at me twice if I were dressed the way I was a year ago).
So refining my appearance to match the social frame of the hottest girls I want to seduce is a new priority. I'm keeping an eye out for fashion trends (though it's hard because most guys here are horribly unfashionable). Being plugged into social media will help a lot.
--End of tangent--
Conclusion
Gonna sound a bit egotistical here, but I honestly surprise myself at what I'm capable of sometimes. Walking into that Starbucks barely a few hours after I arrived, I had really no expectations other than perhaps making some approaches and collecting a few numbers to follow up with later. This was a one-shot lay with literally the first girl I approached, who also turned out to be one of the cutest, sweetest and most fun girls I've met in the past few months.
There's still that voice in my head that tries to rationalize it: "You just got lucky meeting a super cute girl who happened to be an English major on her last day in a sexually-charged tourist town." Yeah, I guess that's true to some extent. What about all the other times these past few weeks pulling off similar stuff? I guess I get lucky a lot, huh.
Better explanation would be that I'm getting better at identifying opportunities, capitalizing on them, and all the while refining the process of seduction.
The work is paying off. Feels good
