GAME 101: Campus Pickup Journey

[TwoNameGame]

Hey everyone, this will be my journal for approaches on my campus (which will be most of them).

A few notes:

1. It is a very large commuter university
2. I am a student.
3. I almost only cold approach.
4. I don't care for AIs; I go for who I want.
5. I go for girly girls of any kind, regardless of looks.
6. Never had a girlfriend, just good female friends (voluntary friendzone for reasons).
7. I want a long term girlfriend and am currently too religious to go for first night lays (still tons of respect for Hector, Alex, and anyone who teaches otherwise).

All my approaches have strong, constant eye contact and a firm, deep voice. I love deep diving and wit. I know a bit about everything and can converse about almost any topic.

I appreciate any feedback or discussion since I know there is always something to learn. Hopefully, I can help others with campus game.

Spoiler: SET 1: Old Mistakes

Overview

Ethnicity: White​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Shirt, skirt, Mary Janes and socks​

Duration: 2 mins​

Result: Nothing​

Background:

I walked out of class for a while then looped around. I give up chasing a woman I saw and slow down. Suddenly, a set who was trailing me walks past.​

Notable moments:

• I open next to her slightly behind.
• Opener: "Real quick; do you know how to get to the university from here."
• She stops and turns over her shoulder a but to face me. We stand under the desert sun with high UV rays.
• She was confused because of the stupid question and asked me to repeat. I repeated, she answered "You're already on campus."
• I then smiled and said, "Actually, that was just an excuse. I thought you looked cool and I wanted to come say hi." I moved my hand as I explained, which brought her attention to it. I hold out my hand and she takes it, I squeeze it, and milk the opening. We swap names. She has an unusual name and I misheard it.
• I wonder if she is an art major, but second guess myself. "Set1, Are you an English major?" She says, "No, I'm an art major."
• I say, "Literature is artistic in its way. I could tell you were an expressive person." We high five.
• She asks me my major, I tell her, and we talk about it. She was interested. I compliment her style again and qualify her citing how I knew she had good taste.
• I try to move her. I suggest, "We should take a few steps to the side so we can talk under the shade." The shade is like 3 feet away.
• She then says, "I'm sorry, I'm in a rush." To be fair, she was headed towards the parking lot.
• We bid each other farewell.

I forgot that every time I try to move a set who was walking, she ends the interaction. Every time. Even if a few steps I don't get why considering I am convinced they'd keep talking to me standing there if I didn't say anything.

Spoiler: SET 2: Getting the hang of this! Minor victory

Overview:

Ethnicity: Latina​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Black skirt and shirt, Mary Janes, socks​

Duration: ~4 minutes​

Result: Number​

Background:

I tried to approach another set, but she started talking to her friend. I doubt my skills are ready to approach groups. I stop and stare at a poster when ANOTHER set who was trailing passes by. I catch up to this goth girl and open over her shoulder.​

Notable moments:

• Opener: "Do you know how to get to the university from here?"
• She stops and turns to face me. She is puzzled by the dumb question, but I clarify, "That was just an excuse. You look cool and I wanted to come say hi."
• Again, I moved my arm a lot as I explained and she noticed it. Her eyes were already on my hand when I offer it. We swap names, I squeeze her hand, milk the opener.
• I ask if she is an art major, but she ends up being the first computer science major I've spoken to.
• I try to analogies by explaining, "Programming something new is kinda like a 'paint by numbers'." She agreed. I qualified her, "I knew you were a creative person." High five.
• "What's your major?" "International Business." "That sounds cool. What's it like?" "You immerse yourself in something unique each day."
• We deep dive a bit about computer science. I mention I studied Java, but she apparently hasn't gotten that far. She has no real goal. She follows the money. CompSci is a stable field. I say, "You're a practical person. It's nice to meet someone honest about wanting to live a good life." Fist bump.
• She says she has to go soon. "Where are you headed?" "I'm meeting a friend at the community college. Where were you headed?"
• Normally, I'd panic and escalate but I try to reject her frame. I say, "I was getting a drink at the student center. Not many people know the water is good." "Yeah, not many people know that water is free in California." "You know what's interesting? ... This campus has so many interesting things and interesting people. But few look beyond their textbook. But you're friendly. That's cool." She smiles warmly. Fist bump again.
• I stutter a bit as I say, "It's been awesome randomly bumping into you and talking. We should meet up sometime." "How?" "We should swap numbers." "Do I give you mine or do you give me yours?" "How about you give me yours?"
• She then says, "Uh. I have an android..." I show her my cool Android flip phone and flip it open. She laughs and gives her number.
• I say, "Text me when you get home so I know you got there safe." There have been accidents and disasters nearby, so this isn't entirely random. She points out, "I don't have your number. You have mine." I immediately text her, 'Who's that handsome guy you're talking to.' No reply but it made her laugh when she read it."
• We say bye, leave in opposite directions.
• She didn't reply to that text.
• I'll try again tomorrow.

I borrowed a few lines from the previous set I got a number from. I need to work on being more contextual and avoiding scripts. It's not like we had a strong enough connection to warrant my lines regarding texting.

Spoiler: (FU) SET 3: Too Strong for her

Overview:

Ethnicity: Mixed​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Shirt, short shorts, boots, socks.​

Duration: 4 mins​

Result: Nothing​

Background:

I head to get a drink at the student center. I see her walking by and take advantage of my social momentum. She looked cute and had medium-short hair and and interesting style.​

Notable moments:

• I open next to her, "Hi, do you know how to get to the Student Center from here?"
• She's confused, I clarify, "Actually, that was just an excuse. I thought you looked cool and I wanted to say hi."
• Swap names, squeeze hand, milk. I tell her she has a cool name.
• I cold read that she is an art major and she is. I say, "I knew you knew about style and presentation."
• "What's your major?" "International Business." We talk a while about my major and she seems interested. She asks a few questions and we talk about traveling, which is what interested me in my major.
• "Do you travel a lot?" "I've been to a few places, like the 'Pearl of the West' itself." "Where is that?" "Mexico." What's your favorite place you've visited?" "Guadalajara, Mexico" (aka 'The Pearl of the West).
• We high five and fist bump throughout the exchange.
• She gets extremely nervous and asks me 4 redundant questions in a row answered by my last answer. She laughs a lot and I smile, telling her it's fine and I like her laugh. I also try to set up a chase frame, "Being absolutely sure about my travels will come in handy when you plan a trip to take me on."
• I then ask about her travel stories and she can barely answer beyond vagueness.
• I steer away from myself to help her center herself and say, "I just noticed something about you." "What?" "Going back to what you said, you travel a lot. You seem to be interested in exploring new things." "Yeah, I do." ... "I noticed your golden patterned earrings. They're cool." She laughs nervously and thanks me. She brushes her hair on the left side so I can see. "I knew you had good taste. What's the story behind them?" "They're expensive actually. But there's no story... my aunt took me out shopping and bought them for $25." We talk about what family means to us.
• I then fuck up. I ask, "Are the patterns different?" She seems unsure. I ask, "Could I get a better look at the right one?" I slowly, but hopefully not too slowly, move my hand to brush her hair away. Once I do, she gets uncomfortable.
• She stammers something about me catching her on her way to her dorm and having to meet her roommate. "I'm a lesbian."
• Not to be stereotypical, but her hair length and style do look kinda lesbian. But maybe I just butchered it.
• I take a step back and raise my palms. "I respect that." I try to defuse tension by saying, "We have so much in common!" She laughs. I ask, "Let's see if we have something else in common. You value your time?" She smiles and nods. I say, "I'll leave you to your thing. It's been nice meeting each other." We walk in opposite directions

This is the first time a set has been so nervous, so I wasn't cure how to handle it without ruining the sexual tension. My kino probably went too far at the end. I initially wanted to hold her hand but I couldn't think of a way to ease her into it. But hey, I learned a bit more about compliance and why I should chase frame earlier.

 

[TwoNameGame]

Off day for pickup as exams are coming up and I had clubs to visit. I've been low energy lately and trying out social momentum to compensate. Not good results. I feel like I'm getting worse and I hesitate to blame my lower mood since I have more confidence than ever.

I did 3 cold approaches of note.

Spoiler: SET 1: What's my age again?

Overview

Ethnicity: White​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Shirt, skirt, socks, heels.​

Duration: 2 mins​

Result: Nothing​

Background:

I had some good social momentum going and struck up random conversations with some guys from compliments without trying. But then something demoralizing happened on campus that killed my mood instantly. I then saw the set on her way to class and thought, 'she's probably low energy too.​

Notable moments:

• I open at an angle in front of her.
• Opener: "You look like you're having fun."
• She laughs and agrees.
• I ask if the seat next to her's is taken and she let's me sit (we are on different seats but close).
• I milk the opening after squeezing her hand, swap names.
• She is chatting online with her parents. I qualify her by praising the importance of family. Fist bump. I say that she doesn't look like a local, but she disagrees citing she is from a not so far city.
• I erroneously cold read her as an English major and get it wrong because she studies psychology. We talk about how psychology is about seeking understanding within the unusual, but familiar. She lights up a bit as she sees I understand her interest.
• The conversation dies and she doesn't revive it.
• I use interest bait to talk about the university experience and adventure. She tells me she is 18. I am 24, but didn't think I looked too different from when I was 18. This throws me off further.
• From adventure, we talk about her style and she tells me all about her thought process and what she wants to project. She wanted to show edge, but still be practical and not burn in the heat. I qualify her on being expressive and compliment her for her her desire to be open. She agreed. High five. I ask to see her ring and she shows it but doesn't give me a chance
• From there, we talk about music. She likes R&B from the 2000's, which frequently plays at a spot on campus. I deep dive into how she feels listening to that music and the emotion. She does indeed love the beat and energy along with how meaningful the lyrics are.
• The conversation dies again and she doesn't revive it.
• I tell her about the spot. I then try to segue into rock since that is commonly there too. I say, "You know what was one of the best parts of the 2000's? The rock. She replies, "Oh, I dressed as The Rock for Halloween." I smile at the misunderstanding and ask her to do The Rock's eye thing. She says she can't, I try it, and she laughs.
• I tell her about the nearby spot again and try to move her, but she has to leave soon.
• I go for the number and she says, "I don't just give my number. I'm 18."
• I say I understand and we part ways.

This the first time a set has mentioned her age like that. I never actually thought about it. Maybe it's my booming voice and the classic, less trendy outfit.

Spoiler: SET 2: Kryptonite

Overview

Ethnicity: White​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Shirt, skirt, socks, heels.​

Duration: 2 mins​

Result: Nothing​

Background:

I had some good social momentum going and struck up random conversations with some guys from compliments without trying. But then something demoralizing happened on campus that killed my mood instantly. I then saw the set on her way to class and thought, 'she's probably low energy too.'​

Notable moments:

• I open at an angle in front of her.
• Opener: "Real quick, do you know how to get to the university from here."
• She isn't amused and just says, "That's an interesting question..." She doesn't follow up so I say, "I was just kidding, I thought you looked cool and I wanted to come say hi."
• Name, milk intro, squeeze hand.
• I cold read that she is studying psychology but it is actually a different social science. We talk about her goals after university. I cold read that she cares about more than money, which she slightly disagreed with but I insisted and she qualified that she likes helping people.
• I ask what she does for fun and she says she is too busy for that. I ask when was the last time she did something outside of her schedule, she said she ditched class to go to an amusement park. I compliment her spontaneity.
• She gets close to the elevator so I say that we should get a coffee sometime or visit one of the on-campus events hosted by the amusement park. She then says, "I don't just give my number."
• I say I respect that as the elevator opens.
• I notice that my voice is quite loud here and there are people nearby. My naturally booming voice projects a lot and it requires effort to speak clearly and audibly, yet not have it travel down the halls. On my off day, it seems I dropped my guard.

I keep failing to number close with these 2 minute interactions. Also, I let my mood drop in spite of my attempts to be focused.

Spoiler: SET 3: What's my age again (remix)

Overview

Ethnicity: Latina​

Position: Sitting​

Outfit: Red dress, black panty hose, Black patterned socks, black high heels​

Duration: 3 mins​

Result: Nothing​

Background:

I went to a club booth at a Latino/a event when I saw her. I waited a bit because she was talking to a guy, but it turned out they didn't know each other. I abandon my conversation at the club booth and talk to her as she sits down outside the event zone. She pulls out her phone as I open.​

​

I don't remember the exact order of the interaction.​

Notable moments:

• I open at an angle in front of her.
• Opener: "Well, you look like you enjoyed the event."
• She smiles and replies that she did. I tell her my name, squeeze her hand, and milk the intro. I then asked for her name.
• She was an art major. I usually get artists, but she was different. Thus, I butchered every cold read. I failed to cold read her major, her attitude towards class, her motivations, her goal, etc.
• She was a craftsman studying art. She said she didn't draw much (like I cold read), but she did enjoy rough sketches more than seeing the finished product. I failed to cold read why.
• We do converse about things and she does ask me plenty of questions, seemingly interested in me. She played with one of bracelets throughout the interaction. Her eyes contact was poor, but she usually smiled when she looked at me.
• I kept her laughing, partially through unrestrained ashore humor. One time she told me how judgemental people can be. She said, "My art class has some snobs in it. Sometimes they can be..." After a moment I suggested, "Assholes?" She laughed and said, "I didn't want to say *that*..." "So, just kinda asshole-ish?" She laughed and didn't deny it.
• When talking about myself major, she guessed I did business, which I accepted as an answer. "Is it because I'm so good with people?" She laughed and said, "It's because you look... studious."
• She played with her bracelet again, I asked her to show it, and she did. It was rose quartz. I fail another cold read asking if she was into gemstones, but she just liked making stuff.
• During the conversation, she randomly told me she was 18 and asked my age. I reply, "24. I decided to talk to get to know people different from my usual crowd: grannies. I wanted to meet someone who uses a smartphone and not a rotary phone." She laughed. I then pepper references to the university's lesser known things to establish authority. I also said that I could've graduated early from university (true) but the pandemic derailed my plans (long, complicated story).
• She seemed a bit frustrated when I mentioned the pandemic, so I wrongly assume she had negative experiences with it. She said the pandemic was actually great. I scoot away from her and teasingly ask, "Great?" She laughs and backed also towards saying the lock down was great. I correctly guess, "Because you got to draw?"
• We talk about how good it is to meet people. She used to be cynical. She told me that a friend had a bad experience with a guy. I express sympathy and try to tell her about on-campus resources. She interrupts me by telling me about the 'Bible Cults' on campus being shady and we talk about them and how good it is that she remains vigilant.
• She asked me about if I went to the Latino/a event. Foolishly, I say that I got a marzipan candy from there but I pronounced it like an American despite us both being Mexican. My pronunciation of marzipan completely confused her. We clear it up, I insist she tries one (they are the traditional ones every Latino in SoCal has seen in stores) but she says she's fine.
• She stands up because she has to go. I suggest I call her up sometime to explore these events and she agrees but doesn't stop leaving. I suggest swapping phone numbers but she offers her Instagram. I deflect her attempt at giving me her Insta, but she says she doesn't just give her phone number either.
• She leaves.

I failed the frame conflicts and probably messed up any chance to form a connection. This is one of the few times I simply fail to understand someone.

My questions:

1. Could I realistically hope to number close in under 2 minutes if she is heading to class? Do I just need lots of intrigue bait and jokes?
2. Should I compliment outfits most often? This is what genuinely interests me but I've noticed interest plummet of I open with that.
3. Is it bad to look studious? I am well-read and can converse on just about any topic and use a wide vocabulary. I also know the campus very well. Normally, I'd consider myself more of a rocker, but it's too hot for a jacket.

 

[TwoNameGame]

Overview:

Ethnicity: Latina​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Black combat boots, dress, cardigan​

Duration: 2.5 minutes​

Result: Number + Date​

​

Background:

I was checking out a stall hosted by the health department of my university when I saw the set walking down the path away from me. I left to engage.​

Notable moments:

• I pull out my phone and open a game, walk to catch up quickly, then slow down next to her. I “notice her” and act pleasantly surprised as I open over her shoulder.
• Opener: "You have a cool outfit on, but do you have the personality to match it?"
• She was unsure.
• I use intrigue-bait before she checks out: "You know what's interesting? People usually just rush through their morning routines like it's something they just have to get done. They just put on the first thing. But you seem like you put thought into your outfit. You seem to treat fashion as a form of self-expression." She agreed.
• Name, hand clasp, milk opening.
• Overall, I maintain good eye contact, a deep voice, and talk slowly.
• She has a very distinct name and tries to tell me the story behind it but fumbles it. I subtly tease her as the fumble ends up making her sound egotistical.
• I cold read her as a bold expressive person. She agreed.
• Her vintage, somewhat punk outfit was thrifted. She excitedly talks about thrifting and how she likes it while I subtly tie it to her adventurous nature. I also use a sligh “us-against-the-world” vibe by expressing approval whereas others “don’t get it”.
• We get to her classroom door and I qualify that she has a matching personality after all.
• I ask if she is single and she is.
• I ask her out to a coffee and offer to swap numbers. She takes out her phone and wants me to put info into her phone.
• I realise I am wearing sunglasses indoors (prescription), then ask her to text me to ensure I didn’t mess it up because of the dim light and my sunglasses.
• She texts me, “Hi this is [name]”.
• I wish her the best in her class and we walk away. As I leave, I think I hear her talking to classmates…

Texting

• 2 hours later (when I assumed her class ended or went on break) I text her an icebreaker like Chase recommends.
• 2 hours later (presumably after getting home) she texts a similar response apologizing for being aloof, excusing it as preparing for midterms.
• I send a brief “no worries” text since I myself just got out of my night class, and wish her good night
• An hour later, She replies, “Awe, thank you. Hope you have a good night too!”
• A bit later, she adds a long text thanking me for being understanding and that I should feel free to talk about myself so we can know each other better. I tell her about my love of rock music and how it “keeps me going on a long night” and ask her how she feels.

• Next morning, she reveals she loves music and reveals she recently got into one of my favorite genres, asking for album recommendations. I give her 2.
• Next, I propose a date using Chase’s suggestions (consideration, relatedness, and probe for logistics to get the coffee we talked about and listen to each other’s playlists).
• We discuss logistics and bond a bit over the music, then I schedule a date in 6 days with a meetup spot (unfortunately, this is the only time we are both free)
• She agrees, “Awesome can’t wait!” and tells me to feel free to recommend more music.
• I confirm and ask her to hear those 2 albums first.
• At night, and her favorite from that first album is my personal favorite too. We discuss lyrics and themes (ambition, perseverance, loneliness, and love). She recommends a song which has some themes similar to the second album and mentions she has to go to bed. I wish her good night and replies, “Good night !”

• The next afternoon. We could have gone out just now, but I had an important day at work that ended after her freetime. I might text her. I listened to the song she recommended, which is great but has complex themes I somewhat relate to that would be better to discuss in person for a deep dive (potential red flags too, but it may just be the edgy rock I listen to too).

I doubt I have a sexual vibe, but I will still try to move fast and kiss her a few times on the first date. This is my first time getting a number after 2-3 minutes. It is also my first ever date; I've never kissed a girl. Thanks guys!

Questions:

1. How much should I keep texting? I don't want to overdo it, but we are both interested in this conversation (I actually find her more attractive for how pensive she is, and she seems to like my outlook).
2. Should I flirt more over text or let anticipation build?
3. So far, we mostly just know each other’s music tastes and some perspectives on life. Should I change the subject going forward?
4. How do I ensure I'm not friend-zoned before the date? I asked if she was single, milked the opening, complimented her clothes and personality, maintained eye contact, and asked her out. I lacked time to escalate beyond that.