Get Pussy Or Die Tryin'

[Smurf]

Yo dude the journal is lookin' good! Sorry I haven't stopped by in a while.

I like how when you're out you are on "your path" no matter what. That's definitely something I need to work on. Most guys just stick with whatever group they come with even if its detrimental to their process at night.

Super short but just thought I'd stop by real quick, your growth is incredible man!

Jake.

 

[Hue]

Smurf,

Thanks bro! It took me a while to actually become comfortable being able to say, "Hey - I'm doing [this]. Bye." because not everyone will react well to that. Now it's kind of understood that's how I roll with my closer knit groups and they almost expect it. I told my friends that I wish we would meet new people / new groups of girls to hang out with and they never gave the idea the time of day so I took in into my own hands.

As a result of me "working that muscle" I honestly feel like I could go out and make friends with total strangers for the night, though I don't necessarily want to do that just because I can. It's starting to prove helpful with dealing with or "seducing" her friends (guys/girls).

Last year when I had a coaching session from Hector (it was based on formulating Rogue King) he told me once you have enough value socially, ditching your friends is something they can't really hate you for, because ultimately they're mad at you for not giving them attention. They like you so they want you there more. I don't see it as a manipulative tool but more just a fact of the matter. I have had two friends call me out on ditching them saying it makes me a shitty friend, but we still hang out just as frequently.

 

[Hue]

Monday

My Day 1 friend who's exceptionally good looking but weird (let's call him James Franco) invited me to go out with him and I figured eh fuck it, why not? We eventually end up at a bar with a good Monday night deal and watch some sports, and lose a game of pool. There's a thicc HB6.5, and her not so good looking friend also watching the game that I spot eyeing me.

James Franco leaves kinda at random, and I'm there with one of his friends (kind of a squid). We keep watching the game a bit and then I without warning I approach the girl, kind of using the game as an excuse to sit next to her. James Franco's friend leaves immediately lol. I find out what team she's rooting for and I happen to be rooting for the other team, so I tease her about liking the wrong team. She's actually far more knowledgeable about the sport than I am which becomes apparent very quickly, but I bullshit best I can and make it more about how I'm teasing her than the factual basis of my reasoning, which worked fine.

I notice her friend's body language changes now that we've been talking for a little bit in my peripheral, so I look over at her. This was enough for my girl (let's call her Lohan because her freckles are super cute) to introduce me. I ask the friend questions confirming my teases with her, like "she knows that her team's losing the finals right?" or just confirmatory questions/teases like "is she actually 21?". This engages the friend, while keeping my girl at bay and letting me lead the conversation. I did this during times of transition of conversation to and away from her friend, as I saw needed.

We talk and I start to escalate touch more, but I was careful to temper it this time with a subtle push and pull. Like instead of say, having our legs touching, then go back to me sitting further from her, I would change it to just our knees touching as the "push" motion, or I would lean back a little more, but just a little more so that it didn't seem like I was reconsidering - but also not overly excited.

She has to go to the bathroom and I'm warm and nonchalant, letting her and her friend go up. They're obviously talking about me. I go to the other bathroom and see some girls I know. One of them is hot so I come up and keep talking to them. I engage the one I know and ask about the hot one, to find out she's going to med school. She's actually quite awkward and can't do well with eye contact, continuously looking to the friend to talk. I stall long as I can and then once something I say get's little to know response, I end the interaction and slowly make my way toward the bench we were on.

Somewhat of a crucial moment here, because now it shows if I'm waiting around for them, or if I'm doing my own thing at the bar. I sit for a second, and then get up and walk up to the bar almost at the exact same time that they leave the bathroom and go directly to the bar. I just ordered a water to go with my beer, then return to my seat, and they got beers and joined me. Had I just sat at the seat the entire time, it would have pushed me in a chasing position.

Once they come back to me I move us outside and they comply immediately. We have a lot more fun talking in a group setting this time, but at one point they started to geek out about chick flix and I was losing adequate control (I was also sitting across from them now and needed to get closer) of the conversation so I told them, "okay, I'm gonna let you get this all out while I go get my beer, I don't think you've gushed about Mean Girls yet, so have at it... brb." then go get a beer.

When I return I come around to their side and we keep talking. Now they start asking me tons of questions, basically screening me. It started with things like what child-hood tunes I watch, and I give them basic answers with a little switch up at the end saying "I was far too young and innocent at the time, but Ren and Stimpey was definitely in my catalog and shook my world", which Lohan happens to relate to. Then she asks me my biggest weakness and I make fun of her for the interview question, then tell her "I'm too pretty" and get a "ewwwww" back, so I tone it down slightly by asking what that Michael Scott answer is, "I'm too hard working or whatever", and holding strong body language the whole time to not give up my frame (to show I'm not adapting to her). Shortly after this I can't remember the question but I explain how I recently called out my friend because he was being racist and I don't put up with that shit, and don't care for that fact that he chooses to be ignorant of others (I could write more about the actual scenario but unnecessary).

It starts to come into question as to what we'll be doing, and my girl has class tomorrow morning. She asks where I live and then rubs my leg with hers (I wonder if I could have pulled right there, but there was still the friend to deal with). I suggest we go to a different bar closer to their house, and after a little bit of back and forth they let me lead them out of the bar. We walk and I get a little physical on the way there.

Once there we get the Monday deal, but I give my girl a water shot because of the recent happenings with drunk girls / to tease her. Before I can make the joke happen though this CLEAR freshman tries giving my girls shots and is being obnoxious about it. He was at the point of being like "c'mon, take my shot. Take it", and she didn't want his shot, and handed it off to me. I look him in the eye as she hands it to me and go, "she's good man" (; and he stares me down for a bit then fucks off. I give her her water shot and her friend and I take the others and sit back down.

I tell her where to sit and she does, giving me the chance to feel up her legs way more. Then she invites me up and actually buys me a shot, and before we sit back down I invite her home with me. She says she's not fucking me and I tell her we're just gonna play mario kart, and that while I'm very direct I never asked her to fuck. She says she likes how direct I am and that she'll come home with me, after hesitating a little bit.

When we sit back down her friend is asking us for relationship advice and I make a risky move by speaking from experience and saying, "I've had girls text me like that and the bombardment of texts has totally turned me off" and Lohan goes "oooh all these girrrrlllss texting meee", because it nudged my attainability out of the sweet spot. I held frame and she met me where I was at. I decide to close things down and we agree we're walking the friend home, but then RIGHT before the important turn, Lohan says she's going home with her friend now.

I almost lost frame because I was so surprised, but then just keep walking with them slightly out of my path home. They're about to head in and I ask the friend, can I talk to Lohan for a sec? loud enough for both to hear, and then pull her a little close and invite her home again. She objects to sex and I explain again I've never said that, but I like hanging out with her right now and I think she does too so we should stay along. She agrees, but wants to use the bathroom at her place first (btw she lives with 11 girls and doesn't want to have me over).

I get free pizza inside and we start walking back, it was an enjoyable, playful walk. We get back to my house and I can't get the N64 set up so we listen to music and I kiss her and ramp physicality. We end up watching a music documentary that she likes and hooking up here and there in between. There was one surge of passion where I should have started fingering her but didn't strike the iron during the appropriate moment and lost momentum.

I eventually carry her into my bed during one of our makeout sessions (and I was sucking on her tits now) and we get pretty hot and heavy but she eventually objects saying she needs to sleep because it was like 4:00 AM and she had to be home at 8:00 (no she didn't), I persist all I can, but in a very playful, nonchalant, and cool way. We had a lot of fun together, and I wasn't gonna be playing games. I through a bunch of chase frames as I escalated too, which helped. She stays the night and gets out of bed before I wake up the next morning, and I got her number and walked her out with a passionate kiss.


Tuesday

I've recently picked up Swing dancing and it's a whole lotta fun (also a goldmine for girls). Today I was having a 25 y/o HB7 with HUGE TITS and in graduate school, show me how to dance (after she was giving me shit for practicing by myself and I said "what? my partner is totally mad cute") and I invited her to teach me a bit. We'll call her Pumpkin (for a cinderella joke she made). We dance and talk (I'm still terrible) and she teaches me a new kinda schimmy I hadn't learned yet and invested a bunch. Once I got it down we just talk and talk, it didn't feel like effort at all. She's getting her N.P. at the hospital I do research at, and we both studied the same things in undergraduate.

I move her to a different part of the building and find out more things about her interests. We kinda just had natural chemistry and I was able to throw in a few sexual frame windows,

Me: "I get it you're untamable"
Her: "Mmm, yes in a number of ways"

but most of it was just playful banter. I ask if she's single and she excitedly goes "I am!! Are you??" and I go "yea, lucky you!" and she makes a little squeal. She's goofy, I like it. I actually got a halfy right after her being so receptive to me asking. If I was a better dancer I would have made us dance again, but I didn't wanna screw up the "garden" I'd just had blossom. Logistics were screwed because she's just about to leave town, but then she asked for my number and we did a phone exchange.

I dance with one more cute girl, a PhD student at my school actually, but she was super awkward, before my phone dies and I head home. Not even 30 minutes later I get a text from Pumpkin saying it was nice to meet and dance with me.

Of the whole interaction I only fumbled at the end because I couldn't smoothly get logistics set up, but I more or less have her in a chasing position right now so we should be able to work things out. I'll call her this weekend.

 

[Hue]

Wednesday

One of my jobs has us doing field research. Had a chance to dive deeper with this hot brunette earlier by asking if she was working out with her dog because she walked out of the gym (where we're researching) and I asked, "was he spotting you?". I petted him and she explained she just walks him around the court and then looked at me with a cute smile, she told me the dog's name. I should have said with as much romantic swag as possible, "and yours is?" but didn't.

I got of work early and eventually headed to a concert with Thing 1. Her friends birthday was that night and served as a constant roadblock. Whenever Thing 1 and I were talking to each other, we'd be sucked into each other's eyes. Long story short we banged. It took a lot of persistence, outcome independence, and us vs the world framing. She was a fucking freak. I'm covered in scratches, bruises, and bite marks writing this - fucking exhausted. I'll try and write a more detailed LR later... way over depleted in this moment.

She has a boyfriend, and despite my interest in banging a girl with a boyfriend - the insights on crossing that line are bitter sweet. Apparently she snap chatted him something at 4 AM, fucking yikes.

While I was out with them I had a cute indian chick approach me and get my number. Also had two girls open me on the street today. Idk if it's just coincidence or what, but pretty neat. Mmk. Back to bed.

 

[Hue]

Thursday

Took me a while to recover from staying up all night with Thing 1 so I took it easy and eventually went out to a bar. I didn't feel like pulling, but received a lot of IOI's. I saw Lohan out, used preselection with this hot chick I'm friends with and eventually went up to her. I tried to pull but she wasn't feeling it that night, and something I said came across as ultimatum of if we bang or not and she didn't comply.

Friday (Day Time)

Matched a girl on Tinder. Turns out we went to HS together but never talked. Gonna call her PIzza Girl.

LR: "Well what if I want yours?"

Yesterday I tinder matched with a HB6 brunette.

Me: (ambiance opener) sorry I don't think I can have you around me rn, you're way to cute and tempting
Her: Ugh such a shame you're missing out x)
Me: that so? well if you have good taste in drinks I may be able to compromise ;P
Her: Of course I have good taste in drinks def a beer girl, hate most wine, do't mind a few mixed drinks
Me: hmm, well lets see how you fair with margaritas, those are hands down my favorite
Her: I'd be down for a marg x) x)
Me: Okay sweet, what's your schedule looking like
Her: Nice! I'm pretty free tomorrow & saturday.. I"ll be out of town next week tho
Me: okay lets' do tomorrow around 3-4~. I actually just found out [pizza place] on [street] makes margs so lets' go there
Her: [pizza place] makes margs???? I don't believe you
Her: But yeah sure that works for me x)
Me: right x) okay sweet, I"ll message you around then
Her: Sounds good

Next day

Me: hey Pizza Girl we still on for today?
Her: Yes!
Me: okay, lets' meet at [pizza place] at 3:30. see you there
Her: Sounds good!

I roll up right at 3:30 and get my marg and a cup for water. She comes in right as I'm filling up my water and I pretend not to see her. She approaches me and goes, is it Hue or Hueman? (not really my name, but the point is [name] or [full name]). I hug her and say "hey great to see you! It's Hue, I'm not that classy".

We sit down at a round booth so touching is easy. We start by talking about superficial things and when she mentions her Mom works at my university, I assume her highschool and we went to the same one. We talk about our different schools and I find out shes' Social Chair of her sorority. I tease her about being ms. popular, when I ask her what "role" she plays at the party. She gave me a long winded answer about being social chair and after some follow up questions I explain by "role" I meant is she the "mom" character? the social butterfly? the sad girl in the corner? and get a better idea of what I'm working with.

We talked about different alcohols, music (where I brought up The Divine Feminine, she totally was into my explanation of Mac Miller's love of women, sex, and the nurturer). I made a stupid mistake and tried to pull her too early when we were half-way done with our drinks, but after she said no I changed topics, brought back similarity by talking about sport events at our highschool, and then brought up the music again to say that I should show you some of mine, then getting her to talk about her favorite, EDM. We agree to show eachother music at my house and then I change topics again to the fun aspects of work.

By now we're sitting rather close and I push & pull by going to the bathroom and giving her touch withdrawal. I come back smiling and say it's funny that she asked my actual name and it turns out we were at the same HS. We talk a little bit more about how things are different from then to now (she used to be afraid of guys) and I chase frame a bit saying that I'm an exception.

I look outside to see the weather has gotten nicer, and instead of "let's go to my house" I say, "let's walk", and we leave. I thank the bartender on the way out. We stroll to my house with good vibes, and then once on my block she says she doesn't know if she should go home with me. I say why's that and continue walking, and she says she doesnt' hook up with guys on the first date. I never said anything about hooking up, only she did, and I inform her of that lol and change subjects.

We get to my house and put on music, sit down, cuddle up, and I let the vibe build. I can't remember exactly what I said before I kissed her. I was talking about how Ariana Grande looks so wet in the music video, as if she had just had an orgasm, the pause and ask if she's ever had one... an orgasm. She says I think so and I laugh and tell her she would certainly know if she did. Her face gets red and she smiles so I pull her into me a little more, and I'm feeling up her upper legs.

We make out and I pull off and compliment her lips, then go back in in a few minutes. The escalation went rather smoothly, and she was a really good kisser. I get her in my bed and have no resistance until I start fingering her and my dick is out. Then she said that she doesn't fuck guys on the first date, and that she doesn't really know me for about 10 minutes of back and forth and making out. I said a few things along the lines of "I won't think any different of you", "I'm not really a stranger though", "we don't have to do anything you don't want to do", and a yes ladder. She was super wet which helped.

The final blow as when she said we can wait for sex, and I said if it feels right now I think we should, but I'm not telling her how to think or feel - that's up to her.

Her: How do I know you're not just gonna pump & dump me?
Me: Why, because you don't have my number? *romantic stare*
Her: Yea
Me: *slowly move head closer* Well, what if I want yours?

We start passionately making out, and the panties come off, she's stroking the fuck out of my dick and I'm finger blasting her until finally those magic words come out, "do you have a condom?". I say "yes, do you want me to fuck you?", and she says "yes.". She asks how many girl have been in this bed and I say "like 10 a day".

We bang in cowgirl and she was suuuper tight. She got really into it towards the end and once we got locked into rhythm it was really enjoyable. We spoon after and I tell her this was one of my most enjoyable tinder dates, as it was easily my most enjoyable but I didn't want to give her too much. I drive her to her car and she texts me 20 minutes later with positive vibes.

 

[Hue]

Friday Night
Went to a party, befriended everybody and was leading the squad. Got bored, and was invited to a SweetBros party so I ditched to hang with them. Didn't have a whole lotta fun when I got there because this particular group is very snobby. Also my buddy, King, (alpha of the group) has such a tight grip on everyone's attention the entire time it's hard for me in the role I play with these guys. I did have some good conversations with one of the guys there who is definitely reading the "intellectual dark web" (gah I hate that term) and should really reach out to him more.

Had a girl approach me at the bar we went to, and approached two sorority girls who were friends with the SweetBros but they got away from me with all the fratty drunk shit. Went to hang out with the guys I was with earlier but they were too drunk at that point to really converse with so after bumping into a couple other people at that bar, I approached a blondey who I invested too much with too quickly. Got bored around 1 and went home to listen to Kanye's album - pretty good imo.

I wonder what effect having sex BEFORE I go out has on this and my testosterone / sex drive being satiated.

Saturday
I have a huge hickey on my arm from Thing 1. Girls at my tables were all taking notice, and I was being flirty as fuck with all my tables. I got two numbers, and had one girl ask for my instagram. One of the girls was writing her number down in front of her dad who had just tipped me 15 cash and he looked sooo pissed.

I have strong reason to think the HB9 bartender dislikes me though - she's rather cold to me even though everyone else is nice / flirty with me. Maybe she smells something on me or I rubbed her the wrong way.

Sunday
My coworkers started to call me out about the hickey and I just said it was "a little kiss" and mainly said nothing. My manager when we were slightly more isolated (but in clear earshot) said, "what kind of shit are you doing to have a hickey on your bicep? that's for your neck!" and I just kinda gave him a blank, somewhat expressionless stare. What was I supposed to say? Maybe just very calmly and clearly say, "having rough kinky sex", and go back to work. Lol whatever.

Then there were two girls who work at a "brother" bar to ours and when they let me know I talked / flirted with them more. I was kinda a dick actually, and definitely pushed attainability too low - but they were super cool the whole time. At the end of the shift one of the girls somewhat made a development and said she was waiting for me to clock out to give me her friend's number, and asked if I was interested in her and blah blah blah. It was in front of all the other girls too - I just played it cool and said "I'm not not interested" and let her write the number down.

Afterward one girl asked me, "Hue, was that a no?", and I just went, "what? ". I clocked out then came back to grab something about 30 minutes later and this girl was being sooo bubbly with me when I came back. My intuition says she was just talking about me.

I'm at the point where I can slap the asses of my girl coworkers and they giggle, as well as play fight with them, touch them, or call them bitches. I love it. I'm trying to slowly speak more sexually with my manager - other than Jennifer Aniston, she's the one I want in this social circle. I made her laugh and complimented her in a slightly sexual way, but it's just not natural for me to be so direct with my boss.

Monday
I think this girl at the gym wanted me to open her but I didn't know how

Had a date with Pumpkin and it went very well. She is crazy fucking smart. We went to get margaritas and I slowly built touch. The hickey on my arm was dope actually because it immediately made the conversation sexual. We ended up going to my house and hooking up & talking for a long time, but she was on her period so I didn't get beyond fingering her + handjob.
I have a feeling we'll have great sexual chemistry our next date.

Couple things I did:
- was positive + nonreactive to her saying sexual shit (good & bad)
- flirted with the male bartender and acted like there was a side romance going on
- didn't tell her "I had a good time" at the end of the date or set up a second one
- was totally cool with not having sex on the 1st date despite persisting
- got her naked after initial resistance
- overall just held frame much better than usual.


I think that one of the MOST important things in seduction is learning how to hold frame - but first you need to actually understand what that frame is and why it creates the reaction/effect in people that it does. In addition, having an adaptable ability to switch frame to certain situations is very powerful and makes shit tests, persistence, and dashes of romance help you much more.

 

[Hue]

Tuesday

There was a group of black chicks at the bar and I took way too long to approach the hot one. This is annoying to her because she can probably tell that you want to approach, and when you don't it has her puzzling the pieces as to why, which never really works in your favor (even if it makes her insecure or something, that makes her less comfortable and hurts attainability).

I was getting a drink and moving through the bar-mob and apparently was rude in my movements - to which I had two of the girls in the group bitch at me. I tried to touch the hot one's arm and make light of it and got a "don't touch me!" and a stare down between two of the girls. I just gave them a "wtf?" kind of look and kept moving.

Eventually I floated over to her and said, "are you always like this?" and she gave me a huge smile and said "yes." so I felt like it was an act she was putting on for her friends. Didn't follow it up with a good question or direction (I asked where'd they'd been before this - probably nowhere) and couldn't hook.

Wednesday

Jennifer Aniston is a stripper, ex boyfriend who she still fucks is a 40 y/o sex addict. Case closed. Female player / temptress type.

Floated near a black girl at the bar and then came into her bubble and got her number after escalating touch and commenting on her awesome tits. Date this Sunday.

Thursday

I did pretty damn well going out. I used social proof and preselection with this asian chick, had an old coworker coming onto me, and positioned that to try to hook up with a girl from my HS. They were event telling me that they were watching me and commenting on what a social butterfly I was.

I literally had her wet talking to her and it was in the fucking bag - I smelled her musk sitting down with her. I was moving compliance to us playing pool and to separate her and her friend more so while getting physical / teasing - but I demanded that she use her ID to get the cue ball. She excitedly agreed and then both friends disappeared after that, so I think that her friend caught wind of my compliance tactics / thought it was douchey and they never came back. So instead I flirted with about 4 girls that were playing pool but the hot one had her boyfriend there with her.

Isolated one chick and got too romantic, though I had her investing and talking about relationships and how people need to be growing together. She was really cool. I had the idea pop in my head of using "The Shadow" concept as a gambit and plan to develop it.

Immediately after I was talking to a blondey with a BF and asked her if she was a nice girl or a bitch. She said she was nice and I called bullshit and said that everyone is both, and that she is a bitch too (this is the idea of the gambit I'm creating). She disagreed and I paused and said, "throw your drink in my face". She was shocked and a little frozen and I grinned and said "do it." She wouldn't do it so I tapped her ass and told her to do it. Still frozen (thinking about it) and so I did it again and she threw it in my face - and I'm just sitting there stone walling and smiling and ask her "how'd that feel?". All her friends are shocked and I comment I told her to. The ridiculousness of the entire thing combined with my nonreactive behavior definitely did something...

After this she was TOTALLY HOOKED, with a kind of "who is this guy??" kind of vibe so I moved us outside and had her sit down with me. Her friends ripped her off me and left the bar, probably confused as hell that she through a drink at me then left to sit down.

I sloppily approached one other group and was too drunk to make it work. Then I'm pretty sure a gay guy tried to roofie me so I got the fuck out of there. If there's ever anybody that is strongly suggesting that you drink a drink they're giving you, fucking leave. A friend of mine was roofied by a gay dude (apparently there's a fetish for banging hot straight guys) and it's something I try to be aware of.

Friday

Went on a Tinder date before work - she was not as attractive as her profile. I didn't want to be a huge douche and so I talked to her, and was really turned off by her personality (she said she's in a "fuck all men" kind of state) and made up an excuse to leave then deleted her number. Bleh.

Had the cutest woman at my table, but she was with her husband. Apparently she was asking about me to my coworkers saying I was cute with beautiful eyes, but I couldn't think of a discreet way to get her number.

Went out with my friends once I was off and was leading the group the most of the time, we had drinks at my bar then went to another down the block.

I was quickly approached by a girl from the bar on Thursday, HB7. I talked with her a little bit but her body language showed she wasn't hooked, then her other HB7 friend approached and they were hooked. I felt way more of a vibe with the second girl but they're equally beautiful. Right after they hook a girl from my HS comes up to me like "Huuuue!" and I hug her and stop talking to the other girls - I saw them transitioning inside while I was outside and motioned them to follow but they just stopped and stared at me smiling so I kept on moving.

Shortly after this I see a girl I went on a date with last year (can't rememeber her pseudoname - HB7 Indian chick with huge tits) and immediately hook. I have her leaning into me trying to kiss me within 20 seconds, she was drunk. I tell her that she's very tempting but I can't do anything because she's drunk, plus my friends are leaving and outside the bar. I start leaving and the chase frame literally has her following me. I get outside and look around for my friends, and she's standing at the railing looking at me smiling.

I go up to her and she tries to kiss me. I tell her "I'm not doing it with this rail in between us, that's no way to make out." and move around to the other side of the railing, then tell her to hop the rail and help her over. We move in between some cars and she pushes me on a van and we start making out pretty hard. Then her friend starts calling her and she pulls off to answer it and walks off. I just stand there and she comes back, and I slowly let her kiss me again, teasing the whole time, then go really hard and feel her up and she's moaning - then I break it off and leave to my friends and she yells begging me to text her lol.

Finally we got some food and went home. Fun times.

 

[Hue]

The darkest thing about this entire game of life is how quickly you can become another person.

The things that you project in your mind can become reality - a tool of humanity, a tool of infection. Very little utility grows from misunderstood repetition. As is reputation lol. Fuck I'm stoned.

Saturday
Tried to get my day one laid and his girl had LMR.

 

[Hue]

Monday I fucked Pumpkin, as per the LR: Swing Dancing & Chemistry.

Tuesday I got into some deep convos with some good friends, and got a black chicks number with a few other approaches.

Wednesday I stayed in because I had too much going on

Thursday my friends and I got fucked up and I ended up having a rad time at one of my favorite bars (literally everyone I was cool with was there), we late nighted for some real good convo, but ultimately I had a dark moment with my old roommate and behaved very negatively toward the end of the night and kicked a few people out of my house.

Friday I went to a SweetBro's party and it became very apparent that I am not respected / necessarily liked there anymore by the general consensus of the frat dudes. There are many reasons I think this dynamic came about but I don't feel the need to go into too much detail - as I truly don't care. My association with their frat as a whole is nothing more than to have access to their scene - it's a nice opportunity but I can still get what I want without being in their snobby group (that's the joke of their pseudoname anyways). When I was out with them some of my closer friends (as a joke and they love talking shit) recorded me in a set with a petite HB7 brunette and a sexy HB8 latina - their audio to my mannerisms is fucking hilarious. I'm not gonna lie, I fucking killed the set. It was one of my best. Too tired to write it up now (having just worked 18 hours straight). Ended up hooking up with the HB7 brunette but couldn't get her away from her friends - though I had an opportunity to fuck her outside the house we ubered home to for after hours and botched it (my nose started bleeding, thanks to me and my impulsive drug use). I also couldn't have done after hours because of...


FR+: Gorgeous 32 Year Old
Today (Saturday) I worked a hell-shift, and made a lot of cash. This super cool thing happened though, towards the end.
It made me think, how far can I go with this pick up shit? So this woman sits at my table, and immediately I'm attracted to her vibe and mannerisms. She's a strong HB8 in her face, with a pretty good - decent body. She gets there before her friend and is just so cute in the way she's waiting around for her and talking to me, though she's introverted.

I sat her table for almost 6 hours, basically flirting the whole time. There were multiple moments of doubt where I'd either say something that didn't land perfectly or make a risky sex joke with a sub par delivery because of how fucking exhausted I was from this hell-shift, though through most of it she was laughing or investing in conversation. She's 32 and owns her own business. There was a lot of.. what I call parallel conversation, where you describe the dynamic of something as you talk about that thing, though you're really talking about someone else. Basically extended-innuendo. It's something that Richard picked up on right away, and you used to be able to find in his older FR's. I think this is how a lot of experienced, high screening women play game, but this is kinda advanced so more on that later.

I'm so tired I can't remember everything but I will try and make it a priority to get everything down - my brain is just fucking mush right now. So basically she tells me that she goes out with herself a lot and often time stays until the bar closes, because that's when things become the most fun. I took this as a window to have fun with me, and after her friend closed out I told her that I just got cut, and we should have a drink after I'm off. She agrees, though she's quite drunk at this point (or so it appears to me). This was a major cognitive dissonance for me, but more on that later.

So I drop the check and tell her I'll only be another 15 minutes, which turned into 30. Then, I am about to clock out, and I couldn't find her. I thought that maybe she hadn't been aware I was really flirting with her until the end, and now that she did she wasn't interested and left or something. As I'm doing my final task and I'm extremely focused, someone kicks my side lightly. I put my hand up and don't even look at them, but then decide to look. It's her, smiling at me. I laugh and tell her it'll just be one more sec.

I finally clock out and am standing at the bar waiting for my drink, and then she comes up to me, having just left the strangers she was with on the patio! See, this would have fit her narrative of just talking with people by herself at the bar because it's fun, but she deliberately came up to me, to talk with me. We go back to flirting and get our drinks, then move to another part of the bar. I am confident she's drunk at this point, but can't not move things in the forward direction.

We talk about multiple things, I actually tell her a story from last week with me trying to invent the Shadow Gambit (not me trying to invent it, but some dialogue) and telling a girl to throw a drink in my face (everyone I've told this story fucking loves it), and honestly connect and share some similar histories / attitudes. I escalated with touch but her body language was only sometimes positive, so it was ambiguous as to whether things were working - I never went full out. I did caress her hair for a bit but that has to do with her profession.

Anyways, my coworker starts to complain that I'm not helping with a physically demanding task as they're still closing up (it's almost closing - gtfo time and us two are the last people in the bar as customers). I hold frame very well imo and mostly ignore her, but then she gives a really good reason why I need to help them for a few seconds and I agree. Then my girl starts to get up, and seems disappointed that I'm not moving things forward.

I tell her, in honesty, "hey you seem like a really cool person to get to know better, and here's two reasons we're gonna have to do that another time. 1). I gotta help my coworkers for a sec and 2). You're drunk. Most everything else was straight up telling me, PULL THIS CHICK HOME, but because of the recent developments with rapey / sketchy accusations, I just couldn't do it. She even said, slightly disappointedly, "another time?". She was pointing in that direction, subtley, but consistently.

Then I get her number and try to pick a day, but her phones dead so she can't actually see her schedule - a reasonable excuse not to (though I'm starting to think that high quality woman such as this simply expect high quality men to figure out logic / ways to get around these hoops). She gets up to use the bathroom and I quickly finish the tasks my coworkers need help with. Literally, right as I finish, my coworker says, "Hue, where's your girlfriend? You and [coworker] are always talking t girls, I sware..." and then she walks out of the bathroom like "what?? hahaha!" and looks at my coworker, who apologizes and says she was talking about me not her.

She just keeps walking out and I remain mostly silent. I speed walk out with her and we begin walking in the direction of my car. She's saying she's going to walk home - at 2:30 in a city. I tell her no fucking way, she's too hot for me to be okay with the idea of her doing that, and that I'm driving her home. She is hesitant and I persist and we keep talking. I make a really funny sexual joke and we start hitting it off more as we walk - I was having fun for the few minutes it lasted. We get to my car and I drive her to her temporary place (not a hotel but I'm leaving some details out, the logistics were poor just know that). I plant a kiss on her when I drop her off and she accepts it. I say, "text you?" and she says "yea I'll see you later."


I hate this because I know there could have been more from this, but because of 1). how high of quality this woman was and 2). the fact she was drunk made me operate it how I did. With everything going on, I just don't see how I could have tried to pull without breaking certain principles that I've put in place.

I'm texting her tomorrow and plan to set up a date for next Tuesday or Wednesday.


POINT BEING. I have to keep approaching, and can't lock myself in just yet. How far can I push this shit? In just a few weeks I've consistently hooked up with hotter girls, and higher quality girls, generally all independent of reputation or social influence than I ever have before. Is the reason guys get locked down once they hit a hot streak because woman can detect if a guy is "hot" and try to make him theirs? Idk. Food for thought.

 

[Hue]

Didn't go out much this week, and have been working a lot.

Wednesday I banged Pumpkin again. I came before she did the first round, then her before me the second. I do like her, but I have to admit the spark is already fleeting. Could have been my mood that day or something, though - we'll see. I'm willing to give her and I time as there's no reason not to. However, I'm not going to get into a relationship just for the sake of getting into one, I've been told that this is exactly how men hurt women and have to respect the notion of that. I'm willing to admit I'm getting ahead of myself here having only fucked her twice, but in theory her potential suffering could outweigh my sleight of hand in relationships.

Thursday the MILF flaked on me to take care of her kid but my texting game with her was solid so I'm not terribly worried. I went out with some dudes and pushed my "Rogue King" social circle dominance to it's limits and managed to lead a brand new group (other than the one, who was the alpha who I knew) after spending 3-4 hours with them. There were basically no chicks out so low on the approaches. At some points it felt pointless just to it to myself that I could, but nonetheless I got my hands on the wheel and we were all having a great time . On a less optimistic note one of my friends I'm eskimo bros with and I were talking about the girl we banged back in the day (HB5) and he (after telling me, sober, that she was "so hot naked") told me that she raped him. I called him out and told him what he soberly told me and he started backtracking, but still sticking to the story that she raped him and I called him out on being fake as fuck and that I didn't approve, then left with the other guys I was with.

Friday once I got off work I went out and tried to make a girls-sports team party but got off too late. Once I showed up to the scene everyone was at this loud, crowded bar and after dancing for a bit I didn't want to be there. There was this one girl from the last time that I was with them that was floating around me, but wouldn't engage in conversation really, but just kept floating next to me. I have a player reputation with this group despite not banging any of the girls that knew me personally (gotta love social circle) and my intuition says she wanted a taste but not at the cost of what her friends might think so she was putting on an act of some sort.

I got bored and left to a different bar with a ton of people I knew and had some great conversations. It occurred to me that people use YOU for THEIR social proof more than you think they do - which is pretty funny to me since I've been using people like that for quite some time actually. I don't take offense to it, but I know when I'm going to (easily or wanting to) get beyond a superficial level with some people, and those that you don't go beyond that with are basically only serving that utility.

At the last bar I was at I was pretty damn fucked up and I don't remember a whole lot, but after talking to this artist I'm friends with my ex girlfriend came up to me all googly eyed and excited. I just remained calm, sexy, and cool and chatted with her till her friends pulled her away.


LR: "Your Tits Are Awesome"

I walked home for the most part, but then stopped for some fried chicken on the way. There was a HB7 (though I'll admit I was slammed so this could be subject to drunk goggles) girl there with MASSIVE tits, and she opened me in line. When we exchanged names, I told her straight up, "your tits are awesome. thought you should know", because it seemed like the thing to say at the time. She got excited, but flustered, and walked out to a chair outside. Once I got my food, I tailed after her.

Slowly (now that I'm outside the joint), I walk up to her and ask if I can sit down with her. She smiles and agrees. We eat our chicken and talk about random shit. I'm not gonna lie, I was really fucked up and I can't think of ANYTHING specifically.

Lol fuck, this is hardly gonna even be a LR - I'm pretty sure I just talked to her for 5-15 minutes with good fundamentals and sexuality and then invited her to have some drinks at my house, it was around 3:00 AM at that point.

She agreed and I remember a blip of grabbing her ass on the way to my house. We got inside and almost immediately started hooking up. I told her to get on her knees and she did and sucked me well. I slipped a condom on shortly after and fucked her in adapted missionary, then switched to doggy style for a while. Didn't let her stay the night. I didn't cum, and hardly remember the sex, other than some of her moaning and the image of entering her from behind.

Oh, and that her tits were awesome.


Cheers

 

[Hue]

Have been on a two-fold vacation. The first place was a 4 day music festival that was an incredible experience with some of the kindest people I've ever met, the second was a 2 day trip to the capital to celebrate the 4th of July.

I approached more than a handle of girls at the music festival and had two hookups. I also took more than a few substances that gave me some personal / spiritual insight. First, being boomies, I learned that I'm lying to myself quite a bit - as in I'm not being honest with my thoughts. A reoccuring problem for me is to run from my thoughts that make me uncomfortable and then my emotions and stress whirlpool them into other areas and my psyche gets messy.

The only way to work around this is to take a moment and get down to the deeper issue - the original thought / principle that I accepted or at the very least placed some value in, and make an appraisal about it. So while tripping / reflecting afterwards I took time to think and examine some of the things going on in my head.

One in particular was, "nobody cares about your feelings". However, this isn't true. I'm lucky to have family and friends that do indeed care about my feelings. In addition to that there are highly empathetic people who care deeply for others despite not receiving anything in return for it, and while these people are not typically encountered for the majority of people, I've met more than a few of these caring individuals and know this to at least temporarily be true. So, theoretically, somebody cares about your feelings to some extent. And if they don't, then at least YOU care about your feelings. That's an underrated ability because it can be misconstrued by cutting other people out.

The next step in this process of self-love is to replace the unhealthy / incorrect principle with a better one. In this case, the most appropriate replacement is: "you are responsible for your own feelings", as they are internally generated. One's subjective experience is a projection of their reality and multiple truths / beliefs they have, as well as the extent they lend aspects of their reality their emotions. It is an enjoyable pleasure to allow oneself to indulge in the lower-human psyche, and the states of our animalistic ways - and allowing certain emotions must be discerned in contextual appropriation.

Another in particular was realizing that I'm taking a "can I get away with this" approach to many of my THOUGHTS (which lead to action) instead of a "is this something I can reconcile / the right thing to do?". In the case of seduction, this may sound like a way to morals getting in the way of treatment of women, but my personal critique is a matter of my indulgences VS discipline. In relation to lying to myself, that is certainly something I can get away with. Things that pump my ego and are used to satisfy my emotions short term are things I can get away with. The correct course of action is to attempt a rational and honest take on whatever issue presents it self to me - whether my feelings are in the way of that or not. By reminding myself of the long-term happiness that is bound to occur by my honesty, I am employing self love. This is easier said than done though, and requires continual revision, assessment, maintenance and mental toughness.

After the boomies, and on the last day of the festival, I took some powerful stuff that starts with MD and ends with MA. At the end of the shows I was listening to a beautiful, impromptu piano performance, and a cute girl (very innocent looking and sweet) on the same thing sat down with me. We were talking, and she said something that pierced my ego's shell. I don't remember exactly how we go there but she brought up how if someone loves themselves for things that are good about them it's great, but if they love themselves for things that are bad about them they're just a narcissist! She said it was the cutest laugh, and it made me realize I had been trying to enjoy the asshole inside of me (not the dick inside of me - that being the ability to deal with conflict, stand your ground, and fight back). And the way she approached it was just so kind, and I knew I had to keep talking to her and learn from her.

We walked through the festival together and explored some of the things on display, talking the whole time. She's a school teacher and was very kind, empathetic, and basically fit the "nurturer role". We eventually talked about relationships and I ended up kissing her. If you ever take this shit, be careful with romantic affairs, because it amplifies everything X1000. Making out is INCREDIBLE and you both mutually feel as though you're one with the other person. I'm actually glad we didn't have sex because I probably wouldn't appreciate normal sex. Maybe if two people are in love...

Eventually we snuck to some after parties at the festivals and I convinced her to sneak on top of someone's RV with me and watch the sunrise. We did and had some extremely intense hooking up (though, very slow and passionate) on the roof of it. Had the sun not come up we would have had sex. We eventually did leave to my tent and things became very close to sex, but then someone kicked it and it broke the spell we had cast upon each other (just so totally in the moment of intimacy).

Anyways, before I get lost in my emotions (as they were drug induced), I felt and believe I experienced the love of someone who I did not know and it was an amazing experience. She said it was mutual. We didn't say "I love you" or anything like that, we were talking about love in a different abstraction. It was treating each other like a human being on a deeper, empathetic level than I ever had before.

Here are my favorite things I wrote down after leaving the festival:

- Forgive yourself for the wrongs you have done to yourself and others
- Understand that putting others at expense for your benefit may also inflict self-hate
- Do not take what you can not give
- Do not attempt to argue in justification of narcissistic tendencies (I had an argument with a friend of mine about why my narcissism is better than his narcissism last month) such as self-serving bias
- Recognize that everybody has something great about them
- Remember to ask yourself questions in a calm and clear way, never allowing satisfaction until honesty & some point of closure are met
- Friends are those who allow the ego to dissipate around each other.
- Responding with hate & anger only feels good for the moment you did it, which is an effective parallel to other hedonistic tendencies, or any short-term gain, long-term loss. I truly believe that when people do this, they are slightly unsettled on a level of personal EQ, because deep, deep down they have a mental quarrel with what they just did, and unfortunately may just stuff it down further. The opposite (long-term gain, short-term loss) follows the same dynamic in the opposite direction.


Notable Mentions:
- Investigate how to deal with imposter syndrome
- Because you shouldn't expect people to take care about your feelings, you must take care of them (which will conflict with moments of self-victimization, external validation, and self-serving bias)
- Sentimental value is not as trivial as it seems (there is utility in the stronger formed connections among phenomenon, function, and concept), and listening to others sentimental values may even help you crystallize your thoughts
- Not everyone is a faker, an actor, or a performance. Just because there is some sort of self-serving intrinsic motivation, this doesn't make it malicious
- Learn to distinguish between instinct & emotional clouding
- Self-love is knowing that because you love yourself, you make yourself grow and become a better & happier person
- You must experience SOMETHING to have a reaction to that thing, which ultimately makes more reactions. This is how we learn, though introverts are better suited to learn (and learn deeply) from this phenomenon than others.
- Remember to use " I " statements rather than lecturing, it's actually a way to lead a person's attention as well as a more humble approach to material. This is especially helpful when you want to derail a person's default network mode and deep dive. Their emotional response (nonverbal) will help you gauge their general reaction to uncommon content accordingly, and is also an effective screening tool - because the person is exuding how they deal with the unknown or possibly uncomfortable content. If someone responds calm and confidently, they're more likely to be honest & strong. If they respond in a fuss, they're more likely to be avoidant. Etc.



After the festival I enjoyed a few days with my best friends. The first night we went out I approached a few groups and the moment I got the ball rolling with these girls my dudes said we had to leave the bar and effectively cock blocked me - my logistics were poor enough to have to go with them (but not impossibly bad).

The day I got back to my city I went out with a few people. I approached a 7 top to this girl who was hot but looked kinda sad and I said she shouldn't look so sad after the 4th of july, and I had to come and help her. She smiled at me in a really cute way but didn't say anything - then this gay guy I know who thinks I'm a player told me I had to leave, so I laughed it off and did. I went to a different bar and there was an HB6 who was staring the fuck out of me (cleeearly wanted to bang) and I literally just walked up to her and asked her to leave. 4 minutes walking to her house, 1 minute at her house, and 2 minutes later my dick was in her. She wanted my number but I romantically declined.

Friday I went out and had this black chick in the bag but I think eventually she didn't want to feel like a slut in front of her friends STICKING POINT and it bottomed out.


Overall, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction again

 

[Hue]

Trying to think and speak with 100% honesty is still proving to be tough, but I'm getting better. Now I strongly feel the internal conflict when I act in a way incongruent with my principles and can better identify the issue. For example I was drunk and talking to one of my friends about liking older girls and his brother made a comment about how I just can't pull younger chicks - I responded like a total douche by saying "yea but that girl who I fucked on her 18th birthday was a lot of fun though" and this is against 1). Not trying to showboat anything about myself to impress others 2). Not kissing and telling 3). Trying to treat and speak of women in a more respectable regard.

I've been SO HORNY lately lol.

Pumpkin found someone else (likely who was spending more time with her than me / willing to be monogamous) and I respect her freedom and responded immediately to her that it was cool, and when she's ready she knows where I'll be, which she liked.

Tuesday - Friday I've been consistently going out.

Monday
Got two different numbers from my tables. The first was a group of three nude models (nude photography is a very cool profession, if you aren't familiar) and I was literally half chub talking to them about sex the entirety of me serving their tables. About squirting, about weird sex stories, and them showing me their pictures. I love my fucking job.

Right after they left I was so ON from them I kept the flirting with my next table. It was a group of 3 girls from my HS and we had a good time. I was mostly flirty with the boss bitch but she has a boyfriend (who I know and he's a total pussy). One of them left their number and the next day the boss bitch added me on instagram. I'm gonna comment on her next picture and put my toe in the water before I do something more aggressive like DM her. Hopefully she'll visit me at work and I can get a drink with her once I'm off.


Tuesday
Got hooked up by a friend's bartending connections at this nice place and got some cheap, good ass alcohol to start the night, but then my friend's couldn't hold their liquor and so I ended up going out alone. The Bartender chick I hooked up with last semester was there and I talked to her for about 10 minutes before she subtly rejected me. I have to avoid talking to / monitoring her every opportunity because if I persist incorrectly it will come off as creepy which could be very bad for reputation and preselection.

I made some friends with bouncers, then went to an after party where one chick (and for the life of me I can't think of the reason) asked me to feel up her tits. I did and had one titty in my hand, then immediately her friend is like "I want Hue to feel mine too!" and put my had on her tit. So I'm sitting there with two different pairs of titties in my hands and one of the girls boyfriend walks in, and in my drunked state I call him by the wrong name and say "we're just checking some things out, [wrong name]", and he was PISSED lol. So funny.

Wednesday
I went out with my coworkers and we got hammered. Really fun time. I approached this girl who knows some of my coworkers (HB8 blonde that my homie tried to fuck and had LMR) and things were going generally well, but when I tried to move her in transition, "wait, tell me the rest of that over here" she didn't comply and then her facial expressions depressed. I imagine my delivery was off, as well as me kinda flipping the "I'll tell you if we move over here" thing - as in I don't actually have any leverage in the leading beyond my shifting interest.

There was also a HB7 brunette that I talked to with her friend but she had a boyfriend and left shortly after I opened her, smiling at me as her boyfriend walked her out (;;;;;

Thursday
Got drunk with the boys. No approaches.

Friday


I've been in such a great mood lately, I can't explain it. Just so calm and happy to talk to people. This really makes me love my job, and I try to make my tables have the best time possible, drop lots of jokes, and flirt with the girls.

I eye fuck basically every girl I serve, and this larger girl eye fucked me back, and then with little to no flirting (some joking and light touch, but that's it) this girl left her number with a note. Shortly after this there was an older woman who was on a Tinder date that the guy showed up late to. I told her that I'll sit down and pretend to be her date if he doesn't show. She also said exactly what Richard told me in a PM about how older women don't really have the option to "see where things go" and she kind of has to be sure with dates like this. I said I was excited for her. I wonder if she told me this in a way of her feeling my sexual energy and putting up a barrier as to why I wouldn't make a good candidate (or that's just my ego lol). The date didn't go great and I think she was more interested in me than him but the end of it.

THEN this girl who I've been praying I'd run into, HB9 blonde that I ran track with in HS is at my table. Gonna call her Runner Girl. She looks fucking amazing. Perfect, big & perky tits, slim waste, nice ass, and a naturally pretty face. Very nice girl too. I hug her and talk to her for a bit before I "switch back into server mode" and actually do some of my job. The thing is, she was nervous talking to me! I forgot how much my reputation carried weight in highschool in certain groups because of how well liked I was, and here is this fucking beautiful girl nervous talking to me. I qualified her for good measure, and actually became kind of nervous to her because of how attractive she was looking. I would focus on my breath and calm myself down occasionally leaving / returning to her table. At the end I was able to tease them about not finishing their pitcher, because she tried to sell herself as a "cool party chick" to me now that she'd gone to college (this is her adapting to my expectations in girls, as I was a very well known partier in high school).

I tell her that I want to see her once I'm off and she excitedly agrees. Then while eye fucking her I tell her to write her number on the tab, and to put little hearts and kissy faces on there too. She writes her number on the tab smiling. Finally as they were walking out, I come back to their table like, "okay ladies..." and she turns to me like "I'll see you later!! "

You could say I was in a good mood after that. Thanks girlschase for handing me some of the tools I needed to even begin seducing a girl like that.

Eventually I get off and my best friends came in to the bar to see me / get some drinks. We shoot the shit and I try to set up meeting Runner Girl, who had responded to my texts but started to drift. Then I also get a SM friend request from another girl I ran track with, so I contemplate they're talking about me. Problem (or, possibly preselection) with that is I've fucked two of the other girls friends

We go out to another bar and I open a 4-top and hit it off with this black chick. I start moving things in a better direction, and then the boss bitch cuts me off saying "None of us want to fuck you, so get the fuck out". I just give her a very skeptical look and don't leave. It was very uncalled for. I eventually say that I really enjoyed talking to the black chick, and get her number for another time (though I doubt anything will come of it).

Two blonde girls I had previously served's table were there and I went up to them, saw they had boyfriends, and just remained friendly and hugged / chatted with them.

There was also a ton of greek life people there and I was getting pretty touchy with this nursing girl from social circle, but nothing too far. I think she is taking strong notice of my preselection lately and in the future something will probably happen with us.

I approach another 4 top who was staring at me across the bar (actually just at their friend who I was next to, but idc it's an excuse to approach) and I tease them about flirting with me. I talk to the girl I want and she doesn't seem that interested, but her friend does. She's an older, HB6 redhead and it's getting late so I figure why the fuck not. I was really drunk at this point and don't totally remember how I went from set --> outside the bar but next thing I know we're walking down the street, and instead of trying to pull her to my house (she wasn't down I think) I say we can just go for a walk.

I pull her into an alley and push her against the wall and we start going at it. I pull off a few times and then reverse it so I'm against the wall (not cornering her) and thinks start to get really hot. Eventually (now that my hands are on her pussy) she pulls off and gets LMR. I persist for a while and she tries super hard to get my number and her friends are calling her and blah blah blah and she gives me her number. I keep persisting and we make out harder several times. At one point I was behind her with my dick on her ass kissing her neck and she said that she had to stop because she liked it so much, and was actually skeptical at me for "knowing" she liked it so much lol.

But she wants to meet tomorrow. Not worth my time, honestly sweety ;P I persist to the point where it becomes chasing, I recognize my chasing, and bail.

While walking home a gay guy is talking about the after hours scene and I start talking to him and a girl he's with invites me. They keep telling me I'm really good looking and cute like non stop. It was flattering but made me a little creeped out with the gay dude. We get pizza before we go and I invite two black chicks in line to come with us, they're clearly interested in me but ultimatley bail. Also the guy that was talking to them before I came up got the fuck out of there the moment I started to talk with them, so I guess my presence is starting to have a strong effect on lower value individuals.

We make it to the after party and it's pretty wack. I see a few people I know but generally it was a strange looking crowd. I approach a couple girls in a pretty aggressive way (immediately strong touching and talking in their ear) which they liked, but then I didn't close properly on either of them. Then it just became really hard to talk to people and it stopped being fun. Also my dance moves were starting to suffer from all the alcohol in my system by this point so I had to check out lol.

But really, what a great day

I woke up to an apology text from Runner Girl and am texting her to set up drinks as I type this.

Cheers fellas.

 

[Hue]

Tuesday
Had a solid Tinder convo with this blonde, then right as I was closing the deal she started to play games and ended up ghosting me. Got another girls snapchat because she said she'd send nudes but didn't lol. Flake central over in the dating apps.

Went out Tuesday and opened a girl with a tattoo about her tat, quickly got rejected. One bartender who's friends with that girl I hooked up with at a concert wouldn't serve me it seemed reputation can be a bitch. Opened two girls talking to a guy who's table I served (he was pretty chill and on a date with two chicks) and after I started to game a little bit he asked me to smoke a cig out side and dude-flirted with me. Didn't want to fuck up his arrangements after that so it worked lol.

Opened to other girls who were cool, but then this hotter blonde opened me mid-set and I turned to her, losing the other ones. I tried to move her and she said she has a boyfriend who's "right there" and I said "that's fine, you're not married, sit down" and she smiled and was down - then I told her maybe it's not a good idea and bailed. I just wanted to see how she'd react.


Wednesday

I was slightly not dominant enough in my texts with Running Girl and it made me overthink for a while. Then when she finally replied and we got the date arrangements rolling I felt better = external validation and lack of outcome independence. Meditation helps but I need to continue the mental weight curls to eradicate this from my psyche.

So the date went pretty well. She looked slightly less hot than when I served her table, and I'll go ahead and say she's a strong HB8, rather than an HB9. The main thing we talked about was how different she was compared from high school to now, among many other things such as psychology, partying, relationships, casual sex, funny drunk stories, and the current state of culture. She was not good at eye contact, which is one of my strongest seduction points so this hurt my game.

We started getting a drink at my usual spot, then going to play pool at another. After having such a good date with Pumpkin, it felt less than satisfying with her poor eye contact and some other oddities in her body language. She's definitely still in the "party party" faze of where she is (not to say I'm not partying, I just don't appreciate like I used to - or how she currently does). In highschool she was the hot, shy, track girl. Now (after being on her college's running teams' party scenes at a small school) she's, at least from this one date with her, the hot, outgoing, slightly awkward, athlete.

My biggest struggle was arousal. I kept up the sex talk and the light touching, but I never got around to grabbing ass or grabbing her legs in a very sexual way. At times it seemed she would pull away when I tried to become closer with her. She lives with 4 guys at school so I wonder how she sees men / knows about their advances. When we went to play pool I tried to set up the rule that loser has to kiss the other person and she wasn't down (ASD), saying she would think about it after it settled in. I invited her back to my place after a high note (I totally killed her in pool and teased her the whole time) and she said she had to get dinner with her dad (I may start doing more optimally timed dates so that windows like dinner or late night plans don't interfere). I persisted a bit but she was firm about it so I said she should drive me to my house. Not my usual move but I had to think on my feet with these hoops she was throwing me. We talked about masturbation and hormones in the car ride there and I made a point about how most guys masturbate but having sex is better for you, and made a comment about women being multiorgasmic creatures which she liked.

Once we got close to my house I tell her how to park and she does. I ask her to come in for 5 minutes and she says she told her dad she'd be home at 7:30. It's 7:24 and I tell her that she can make it home in 1 minute after staying at my house for 5 LOL. She is getting excited but then asks what we're gonna do in 5 minutes. I tell her that I want to hear this artist she's been talking about, and want to show her mine. She says that she'll play the song right there in the car and I say that I want to see the music video for my song and she finally agrees, laughing the whole time. Ohh Plausible Deniability.

We get in there and she comments on my single, not sitting down until I tell her to. She doesn't look relaxed so I tell her to and take her purse off her shoulder. The songs start to play and we're sitting close, I did a little bit of leg touching but not as much as I actually wanted to for calibration (though maybe I should have just gone for it). Finally I tell her to look at me and she gives me a beaming smile. She says that she's bad at eye contact and this isn't the first time she's had it commented on. I can't remember exactly what I said but I kissed her. She says "I knew you were going to do that!" and I make a slight error by going "No shit lol.... nah wait, what are you talking about? (; ".

She puts her song on and I make fun of her for how sad it is (she smiles like ALL THE TIME but kept bringing up how she likes sad music) and say I'm gonna cheer her up and kiss her again. She is smiling at me as I do and we pull off at the same time, but then she says she has to go and didn't know what I thought I could get done in 5 minutes. I say "yea I'm not that quick you have a decent point... maybe you are but I'm not sure." she goes "what?? " and I just say "what ? ;P " (talking about orgasm here, not being "easy" or anything)

It ended with her saying "I don't know when I'll see you again". I said, "yea neither do I". She says "you're okay with that?" and I casually say "yeah" with a slight shrug and a casual, slight smile. Then something about her dad getting on her and I tell her to not get lost on the way to her car and to take care.

Will make a FR++ out of this.

I honestly don't know what I could have done better other than
- more arousal with touching her legs and ass
- isolated her quicker (didn't spend so much time at the bars)
- kissed her at the bar after pool as soon as the game was over

Most of my framing was pretty good and I could get her after she comes back to my city. Though idk.

I think I'll invite her over for a bottle of wine in a week or so. For now she will go on vacation and hopefully think of me - but that's totally out of my control. Wondering if this specific circumstance would call for some alteration in texting post-date.

 

[Hue]

Took an introduction Krav Maga class to learn how to defend myself better. Too expensive / time consuming with my current schedule but I did very much enjoy it. Apparently I punch hard.

Just ordered testosterone boosters and cortisol reducers to do some biohacking & improve strength gains in the gym.

Had that black chick from Tinder over on Wednesday after Runner Girl had to leave. She is great at sucking dick.

We talked about sex, relationships, and guys/girls differences. I told her about what happened at the bar last week with that bitch being all, "no one here wants to fuck you!!", and she told me that it was 100% her being mad I wasn't talking to her - that no girl can get that mad at a guy for talking to her friend, and if anything she would be happy about it if they were actually friends.

These hoes..

Thursday

Went out last night with my coworkers and some very good friends. Had to juggle enjoying myself and showing my buddy who was leaving a good time. Opened two girls who were eye fucking me when we were playing pool. Was talking in one of their ears (very effective because this is a sensitive area and your lips on her ears makes it like foreplay to foreplay) and I almost kissed her in the middle of the bar. My instinct said to and I should have. After I didn't her ASD came up because she was obviously interested but had a boyfriend - then her friend started to mother hen her (which is different then the example above because this girl actually had a boyfriend).

Then 3 people opened my friends and I and this cute blonde girl started talking to me. I worked very fast and was like "who over here did you actually want to talk to?" and she said me, so I quickly and discretely escalated with touch and was grabbing her ass while talking in her ear, told her that I had to show my friend a good time for the rest of the night, and got her number for "later tonight" with all none the wiser. Probably 45 seconds total.

Though, when we got back to my place and my homies were smoking a lil somethin I called her and seemed like I had her, but she wanted me to meet her at this food joint with all her friends and I was in no way down for that. I finessed a little bit and she asked for my address. 45 minutes went by so I called her again and her and her friends were giggling and being flakey so I sent her something along the lines of, "hey if you can't hang without your friends I get it, no biggie. though you're welcome to come" to show outcome independence but still extend the invitation. No response. Eh, her loss.

Considering texting this chick I made out with / should have fucked outside like a month and a half ago... though I feel it'd be better if I just saw her out and pulled her like that...

 

[Hue]

Friday

Went out with coworkers - no memorable approaches. Made some friends with people I was introduced to, but because of the late start it wasn't all that fulfilling of a night.


Saturday

Got off mad early and attended a pregame with some coworkers and close friends. Really got to practice and see the results of Slow Burner game. Only speaking when opportune, and doing so in a charming, leading, or sexy way. Was leading the group by later in the night, with preselection and social proof building all the while. Combine that with eventually bailing on the group and hooking up with a girl at the bar I decided to go to and you get a value spike.

In line to an outdoor portopotty I "made a bet" about who would come out first, and that loser has to buy the other a shot. I happened to be right and so this blonde HB6 bought me a tequila shot and introduced me to her friends. She wasn't hot enough to pull / deviate course but it was still fun.

One of the girls we were with was starting to invest in me more and I think she was into me, but one guy seemed to have his eyes locked on her. To not make an enemy and to keep my options open I just continued my game and didn't force anything. Eventually they were making out at the bar. People kept buying me drinks but I made sure to get waters with them and not get too fucked up.

Eventually we left to a different bar and the group had started to walk into a lower energy place where we all would just be sitting at the table. I wanted to pull so just kept walking to a more populated place next door, and get in line to have some pizza. I cut the line and a few people started to talk shit, but I just held frame and next thing I know that sexy indian chick that I made out with pretty hard last month pops out of nowhere, looking cute and horny.

We were being touchy feely with eachother while we waited in line, and it totally saved me from the angry people I had cut. I had to finesse a little bit to get her away from her friends, and talk to her friends enough so that they approved of me, without making it too try hard or obvious I was just doing so to get to her.

When I do eventually pull her we're in a little doorway next to the street waiting for the uber. I did everything but kiss her, if you catch my drift lol. Then I make a crucial mistake. Hector had told me that when it's ON, micro-details start to matter. Instead of grabbing her hand and leading her to the car, I stepped out of the doorway and looked for the uber. Then, when I turn back to her, the arousal spike had ended and she started to walk off, her body language having gone from horny sex kitten to closed off bitch. I ran to the uber and told him to wait one moment, then ran back to her and asked what was up. She said she's going home with her friend and said so quite decisively. I threw a hail mary and said, "I thought you were my girl?" and she said, "I'm not your girl tonight." I just started to walk away immediately and got in the uber, and she called after me but I just kept walking.

Outcome independence is still proving to be one of the harder aspects of inner game, especially with really hot girls.

One part of me is saying persist, persist, invite her over for a drink and fuck her brains out, and the other part of me says she fucked up, her loss. I also wonder the effect of my emotional congruency and a clear display of leaving a situation not in my favor, as opposed to being non reactive (if I had been). Might make a post in general about it.

Fuck am I horny.

 

[Hue]

Sunday - Working With Girls & Gays

Slow days are always fun at work because you have nothing to do but hang out and let conversation carry on. While there is a constant sexual dialogue/jokes from the LBTQ majority I work with (and the heterosexual guys and girls, of course), we actually got into some cooler conversations beyond just banter. All the gay guys are essentially girls in my mind, at this point. They talk to eachother with feminine pronouns. It took me a while to understand their actual perception and reality, but working closely with these particular humans (lol) has been very insightful and fun.

I tried not to come off too sageish (one of my short comings at times) while we talked about if love is real or just an illusion (I said it's both), and to not come off to playery when I said that I fucked a pretty mature freshman and a woman who had a kid (separate dialogues) when some girls were trying to say older dudes shouldn't fuck younger girls unless it's them, and that guys my age should basically only fuck girls my age. What a load of shit lol. Hopefully it framed me as being sexually open minded rather than showing off trophies, as that's what I was going for.

One of my coworkers who I'm not interested in beyond banter / touching was being super flirty with me and it was a really good display of preselection. She kept grabbing my ass and I would either grab hers back, push her, hold her head, or shake my ass on her and she would giggle a lot. The one girl who's less experienced with guys (and as a result, extremely hot and cold with my flirting) went from * being a bitch to me --> holding my hand with flirty eye contact --> telling my coworker and I to "stop flirting!" *. This was all while we flirted more and more intensely throughout the shift (at this point she's asking me to fuck her, jokingly serious, while reaching for my ass lol).

What happened with the less experienced girl (who rarely gets dick, it's obvious) was she had me in auto rejection --> preselection made her want to have fun with me --> she goes for me and accepts my light flirting --> I didn't give her as much as the other girl because she's less fun and not very cute --> she vocally disapproves of our antics because of her jealousy.

Preselection is useful and a powerful tool, but too much leads to women sabotaging other women.

We're all going out this Tuesday for a last hurrah before two of our coworkers leave. One is a girl I've had my eye on but never get the chance to chat really (luckily we had that sexual / relationship dialogue last shift), and the other is one of my favorite gals who I'm really gonna miss actually.


Also had a solid Tinder convo with this HB7 blonde who I may be able to set shit up with next week.


Monday - Not So Great Texting

So, I was drunker than I thought on Saturday, and forgot that I got a girls number after talking with her and her friend about threesomes. I remember her being a cute brunette but #beergoggles. I texted her today to set some shit up and it went generally well - but I didn't want to take her to one of my usual bars for reputation reasons (it is indeed getting to that point with the staff there :/ so I don't want to go on a more formal date at one of these places unless it's super worth it). Although... that pizza place doooes serve margaritas..

Instead, I invited her straight over. She was iffy and then my phone died RIGHT when I was gonna text her back quickly to not let her emotions cement - and she said she doesn't know me and she won't just have a drink at a strangers. Fair, but now I either have to compromise on my frame (and my reasoning) or just reframe it as not a big deal, and that I remembered her being a normal, cool girl. Alas, I was ghosted after trying this.

Perhaps if I had done better during my oh so memorable approach I wouldn't have ran into this. Wish I remembered more :/


To double down in texting fuck ups, I texted Runner Girl before she got back from vacation like a fucking idiot. It was kinda late to text her, but either way she didn't answer. Now attainability is too damn high, so I have to ghost her until she goes on her second vacation and comes back to let her reset a little bit. *facepalm* AND I edited Hector's video on exactly how to text a girl in this situation (perfect example of wishful thinking from high value "prizes").


All the more reason to get better at pulling chicks the day I meet them. Not to say texting should be neglected - mine obviously needs some work.

As far as that indian chick goes, I thought about it and I think the only way I can reasonably pull her is if it's the same night I'm out with her. When I tried to fuck her on our coffee date last year, her deciding to not go back out with me was her rational mind, just as her last minute decision to actually not get in my uber was her rationalization.

But, fuck. On the other hand the alleged reason she bailed was because she was out with her friends... tough. I may do the call strategy, test the waters, and if it doesn't seem like a good idea maybe just use the call to clear the air and say I hope I see her out. That would both surprise her and leave her wanting to see me IF it worked..

- if it goes great I could see her that weekend and try to smash
- if it goes okay that would could make her negatively rationalize why I called her, or if I frame it right leave her intrigued
- if it goes bad / I'm ghosted I'll have just dug the hole further

Idk, I'm just feeling like trying new things in my game lately. If that's what I do I'll do it Thursday, if not then I'll just try to find a new girl that night. My intuition says don't call her.


Side Note - Maybe Stop Abusing My Organs

Time to start getting my shit together again though. I've been drinking a very high volume all summer and not putting in as quality work as I'm capable of (anywhere other than my server job). Also went to the doctor, who I'm 100% honest with about my life and he's very worried about what I'm doing to my body. White stuff = bad for your heart = occasional heart palpitations. Not something to consider as lightly as I have been.

 

[Hue]

Tuesday

Big outing with my coworkers last night. Was in a great flirty mood until my boss got in my face for not tipping the bartender enough. He yelled at me in front of everyone while we were enjoying ourselves and I mainly shut down my expressions, then explained myself as concisely as possible and didn't budge.

Unfortunately this made me paranoid about the older folk we were with and cracked my frame enough for it to shatter later on.

I had been talking about relationships and sex with this girl, and passed basically all her tests (the former kitchen boss who's leaving) then whilst starting the engines up later in the night had the older people sweep her away for shots - which I took as a slight at me for the thing with my boss earlier and/or cockblocking.

My egotism on the matter ultimately destroyed my frame, because as I was attempting to pull my coworker came up and offered her an uber - again I took it as girls cockblocking / me possibly being creepy and I froze up.

Right before this I was also explaining my paranoia to her like an idiot, she had no idea what I was talking about. In fact I was screening to see if she wanted to get a drink privately. I SHOULD have just offered to walk her home! God, fuck me.

So after I go onto privately call out the co-worker for "what she did" and she has no idea what I'm talking about. I was also mad (from being on shit that I just said I'd quit) so it was just fucking embarrassing.

Really dissapointed in myself right now. Feeling judgemental and self absorbed.

The kicker is because of how drunk everyone was, their large lack of focus on me, and how well I was posturing myself and mainly being quiet, mostly no one seemed to notice anything different.



Totally failed to remain outcome independent and follow the "do I agree with this deep down" rather than "can I get away with this" thing. I fed my ego too much.

Gonna meditate now.

 

[Hue]

Had chest pain almost all of yesterday - I've never been afraid of the possibilities of my indulgences on my health like that before, no more hard stimulants. Done. I'm already more or less a high functioning alcoholic so I need to kick bad habits one at a time.

Went out last night and controlled my drinking. Never got out of control and I remember everything, which was nice. I was focused on not being so "playery" and being more "lover" towards the women tonight. When I get there I see 3 pockets of people I know fairly well, so that I can surf social proof later as needed.

I'm greeted by my coworker (she's large, but funny and always a good time) who's with a couple other meh girls. I'm introduced and the girls all seem interested. I tease them about some shit I said to them last time I saw them and shake hands and hug people. One guy and I talk about this gay dude we know and how it took me forever to catch on to their use of pronouns, which the girls all laugh about. I try to keep the focus on them, and then eject to a different group.

The girls I almost had a threesome with are there, and they have me almost all auto-rejected as a player douchebag. The queen bee strongly dislikes me, I know for a fact. I just talk to the one I know for a while, then eject to a different group. I come back to them later and this one girl who doesn't really know me (almost hooked up with me the first time we met though - my preselection hadn't burst with them yet) is being a bitch and I just laugh at her. I go, "hey I think we met once before didn't we?" and she says "yea at [bar]. you were being annoying." and then puts her nose in the air and walks to the other side of the table. I just smile and turn to the girl I'm tight with and say "that's funny".

Shortly after I get up to use the bathroom and the same girl asks me, "hey Hue, will you get me a drink?" I just stare at her with a slight smile for a little bit and tell her no, then happily walk to the bathroom. I could here the girl I know turn to the bitch and say "no, he doesn't buy girls drinks..." right before I walk in. She's used to whipping guys, and if it weren't for my terrible reputation with this group I think her and I would probably have some fun banter.

I return to my coworker's girls and they're being much more drunk and flirty. I see the girls field hockey team and float over until one of them notices me. I try to talk to her but she won't leave her seat. Her sister comes up to me and is being overly flirty with me - she seemed pretty drunk. I still flirt with her back and next thing I know we're talking about bisexuality and I'm framing her as being VERY heterosexual, but a little bi with some touch. She was getting excited and her sister was trying to get her off of me, but she kept coming back. I would move us inches away from the group and it was going well, until she became glued to texting her friend for like 30s and I started to talk with other people. We went back and forth a few more times but it fizzled out.

Right after this the sexy ass bartender comes up to me and says she's buying me a drink. We barely talked, but she slapped me after the shot, so I slapped her back lol. Then we had a nonverbal push and pull war of hitting eachother and she started to play choke me. I put my hands on her neck and said "I'm a much better choker in private" and then backed off a little bit - she was obviously drunk but I had to make the decision right there of hypersexualizing and going for the pull, or continuing this push and pull dance. She's a tough cookie to crack, because even a little too much attention she assumes superiority, and too little and she's bored. Like micro-windows of opportunity. Unfortunately, I pulled off too strong and she left.

Then my coworker and her friends introduce me to a new girl who's obviously interested from the get go, but I didn't meet her at her energy level so our 15 min of playful conversation never got anywhere but that. Mid convo I did also open a random girl on the wall and got into a little bit of a deep dive before my coworker pulled me off of her for a shot.

It ended with a girl trying to hook me up with her friend and the friend not giving me enough energy to do anything with, so I left. Right before though I tried Hector's phone attraction thing and got a hard IOI from this blonde, but didn't jump on it.

Basically, I was around women the whole night and was very good at attracting them, but not good at separating and closing them. Going to focus more on moving and closing for these next approaches tonight. Decided against texting that indian chick.


Couple Takeaways
- One girl I was introduced to went on 7 dates with a guy, who she had kissed once. He bought her a fruit basket, and had recently invited her to a wedding (this guy is out of the fucking 40's) for their 8th date!! To help her out, I said she should take a snapchat of me kissing her on the cheek and post it as her story. She did and he was THE FIRST TO WATCH IT. Tough shit. My coworker eventually took her phone and sent a paragraph breaking up with him. Important note: the whole time this girl was LOVING the attention this guy was giving her, because it made he feel so superior to him. Even as she was texting him bitchy stuff like "k lol" after she replied to her "break up" text, she was beaming smiling.

- The guy I was introduced to asked me if he thinks he should bang my coworker since they've been tight for like 4 years but never did. I told him to do it, and he went on to do so. He also mentioned how he had been in a 4-some before, and I could tell the guy had some strong tools in game. Just an interesting observation. Not a pity fuck, more like a "I like you so much as a person I'll fuck you". Or idk, maybe the dude likes fat chicks.

- Acting calm and relaxed around girls will make them way less on guard when you're talking to them. As opposed to the gamey, higher energy stuff that I usually start with, this felt more natural. I'm still getting used to Slow Burn among certain circles and to make it work need to incorporate smooth transitions and build compliance, which I didn't do enough of.

- For a girl, if you can approach, lead, ask her home, and seduce her with confidence, that is all a huge compliment to her and very satisfying. But I'm starting to think it's satisfying in the way that what she is feeling is that "here's an awesome, hot guy, and he's confident in his decisions and actions. He wants me. He could have many, but he wants me because there's something in me that makes him sure of wanting me, and that makes me feel great". If I can learn to evoke that kind of feeling in the way I lead, converse, and close, well that's some powerful shit. It may be a matter of shifting my mindset to actually see these things in people.

 

[Hue]

Thursday
Had the dudes over for drinks, then went to my favorite dive spot. A day one of mine is recently single (after 2 years!) and is ready to start hounding again. Back in his old days he went from getting no pussy to literally swimming in it within just a few months - then his ex snatched him up for the remainder of her time at university. Now we have one last semester together >

My coworker came into the bar I was at and I started to game her, and considering my low investment texts with her earlier that day it was on. There was an obstacle though: her friend knows me from a few years ago when I was less attractive and had less game than I do now (this chick is also a notorious bitch).

So my wingman, MaddHatter, was mainly getting used to even going back out in the "single" mindset and I did most of the work talking to them. We had a good group out and the bar wasn't too chaotic so we were able to occasionally jump in and out of conversation. Normally it's good to remain in set, but this was doable given the context. It also helped with social proof, which helps with the bitchy friend.

At one point a girl I was with on Wednesday saw me and yelled "Hue!!!!" so I went over to her, which bumped up preselection, and then my coworker dipped out to the patio.

I go by myself to the girls, and make fun of them for being antisocial. I ask them what they're doing after and they want to smoke. I don't smoke, but say I'll join with the intention of taking like one rip then stopping (I get retardedly stoned everytime I smoke now), then pulling - or at the very least joining them for some type of after hours.

The bar is starting to close so those that are left are starting to pour out into the patio. My dudes ask what I'm doing and I tell them I'm going with the girls to smoke - and one of my dudes is like "you don't even smoke dude". With the girls not in ear shot I explain that's just what I'm saying to them and I turn to see my wing talking to the girls and exclaim "Hue doesn't even smoke!", like a fucking idiot. Shitty. I think it's because he was drunk because that's just retarded. Right after this they leave to the bathroom and then leave without me (so obviously they had some girl talk and talked one another out of it).

I try to push her over a few texts and say my buddy wants to buy some, then she said some BS excuse why she couldn't. I through a hail mary and stopped beating around the bush and got ghosted. Normally I wouldn't be so aggressive with my coworkers but my fucks are out the window in many ways of recent, plus she's leaving soon. Saw her on Friday night and she seemed somewhat avoidant so I'll be fully pulling out of that operation.

Friday
Overall, really good night. I was looking sexy as fuck, if I must say so myself. Red / black flannel, black jeans, and don't forget the chest hair ;P

Went out after work. Ended up having two drinks at the bar with the hot bartender's friend and worked Slow Burner well - played around with a little bit of byronic traits, as well as implicitly saying things about myself in a way that shows value (exuding traits rather than showboating victories). We had quite a lot in common and I enjoyed many points of the conversation. The woman, 35 I believe, told me that I was a "rare breed" to be passionate in both academia and the social arena I'm in. Though I did go a little too deep with the dive and talk about how "people aren't supposed to at a certain point of happiness", which is actually one of my more nihilistic thoughts that sometimes enters my consciousness and one that I'm uncomfortable even writing now. We ended on a good note, and it was very good practice.

Got to the bar with all my friends and had a great time, I started to get more energy and come out of the Slow Burn I'd been going with before - they invited girls and at first things were going super well, but then they directed almost all their attention to the younger, roudier lil brother of one of my dudes who goes to school with them. He also challenged the fuck out of me and I didn't fight back, instead I just held frame. Going to have to look into better dealing with aggressive challenges with guys so I have options.

We left to a different bar and I told my wingman to pick out a girl and I'd help him out. He didn't want to because he still has emotions for his ex (which I respect, but told him that it doesn't get any easier by waiting a week before you actually approach). I also had to explain that, while I think it's super important to listen to what your emotions are saying, that rationally speaking going out and getting new girls is the best approach. He agreed, but wouldn't pick out some girls - so I knew I had to just open someone and see if he'd follow.

Right after then we hopped to the original plans with those girls the young roudy dude went to (and him and his brother were fucking PLASTERED drunk), and I had a couple girls he was with open me, asking about this stamp on my hand (red lipstick kiss marks - great attention grabber). I totally hit it off with this HB7 brunette who I think I've seen out before and we were actually connecting pretty hard (both psychology and mindfulness), with some good flirting, decent compliance, and decent touch - but, I hated my positioning with the group, and I also knew I couldn't move them because their set up was too conducive to their plans (they had a table, drink pitchers, with more people on the way). I had to piss so I told her I'd be right back.

When I get back my wing is going for the girl now (which isn't really winging - I think this dude has to go out and get laid himself before he and I can work as a team) - and when I asked for what her name was (I forgot) he gave it to me but said we were going to have to compete jokingly. Kind of jokingly serious though.. which is kind of lame on his part...

I talk to another girl at the bar wearing this sexy dress and she is pleased to talk to me - the open went well, but then fell off right after and she subtly rejected me. I came back to the brunette who now had a cloud of guys around her and it was near impossible to reengage her in a calibrated way - she was the center of attention. When I finally did grab a chance, this dude gives me a hard look and goes, "hey! buddy! you're gonna have to leave. that's my girlfriend." I glance at her and she looks uncertain and somewhat afraid. Here's this guy she just hit it off with, and here's all of her friends watching, judging, and most certainly going to talk about it behind her back as it is. She freezes up, and let's the men figure it out.

Similarly to when my boss called me out last Tuesday, I turn off my expressions for a moment. I glance to my left to see that my friends have left as well - which puts me in a tough spot. I can't ride this out without it escalating, and then what do I get? I turn back to the boyfriend and simply go, "oh, you're her boyfriend? what's your name man?", and he repeats "yea I'm her boyfriend" and just stares at me. There's a pause and you can cut the tension with a knife, although the intensity is partially drowned out because of the loud noises and chaos that fill the bar. I simply ask again, smiling now, "what's your name brother? my friends were here earlier and we met eachother and we were talking". People stop paying attention, and the guy gives me an expressionless look.

I turn to the girl and throw a hail mary, and pull out my phone to get her number, suggesting that we talk about psychology sometime. She still has a look of anxiety in her face and agrees, then turns away from me and into the group without giving me her number, and is drown by her friends. I leave immediately. Now that I've revisited my memory, I actually met her the 1st time when her boyfriend was there (I've previously journaled this summer about it actually), then again at a different bar where I approached her and her friend came up right after - both interested in me before another girl grabbed me who I knew, and now this 3rd time. Hell, the guy might even remember me. Well, I respect him for putting something he saw in place, but I don't respect his cowardice in not allowing his girlfriend to make decisions for herself.

The rest of the bar is still there, so I poke around to see if my friends are in sight, then look for an approachable girl. I had been shooting the shit with this guy in the bathroom and made a favorable impression (funniest thing was we were joking about his custom made suit, then he immediately walks out of the bathroom and tells a group of chicks his suit is custom made to "demonstrate value" lol), and I saw him near a hot chick who was a little disengaged from the group. I went over and made a phonecall to my other friend who told me to meet up with him. Once done I try to engage the girl and she subtle rejects me, and I leave.

At the other bar my coworkers are there, but I'm not feeling the vibe. Get an asian chicks number, who ended up texting me at like 3 to go to an after party, but I responded too late and didn't capitalize. TOTALLY could have had an opportunity to fuck her had I seen the text. Since I was bored I debated going home and going solo - it was 1:30 and arguably a hard time to start sets with the kind of girls you actually want to go home with.

I decide fuck it, we're going to the popular bar and get in to immediately see MaddHatter and grab a drink with him. He's pretty wasted. I want him to get laid so I again offer to have him pick a girl and I'll help, though he doesn't. So I go off on my own and bump into a few different crowds of people, then see a hot brunette and start talking to her, then to her whole group. I didn't feel the vibe so I left to a different group of girls I saw and was warmly welcomed.

Not sure the exact point I entered this state but I was doing feminine game better than I ever had. No longer Slow Burn, but still with the calmness, confidence, and warmth that I was exuding the other night. I was catching up with a girl HB7 Brunette who I never actually knew all that well, with her friend next to her who I've fucked two friends of, and hooked up with more. I was being touchy, making fun of them, going back to being warm, and bringing a lot of energy to the conversation. A girl who I didn't know HB6 Blonde opened me during the convo and introduced herself. The boyfriend of the HB7 hovered around us until his GF introduced me, then I happily shook his hand and went right back to gaming his girl. I could see in my peripheral his body language becoming uncomfortable, but he just allowed it to happen. I was doing shit like putting her vape between her tits, grabbing her waste, and flicking her nose, for specific examples.

Then, this guy I don't know comes up to me and pulls me aside saying,

Him: Hey man, could you help me with something?
Me: Uh, sure. What's up?
Him: You're really good with girls. Could you talk to her (fat grenade) for a second so I could talk to that blonde you just met?
Me: Haha, umm. Yea, why not?

I flirt with this fatty for about 10-15 minutes, and turn to the guy and he's making out with the chick. The blonde eventually demanded I kiss her friend, and I joked around with them about it. Then one of the girls I was just talking to grabs me and I remember telling her, "wait I have to help this guy ". I went back until the girls were leaving. The fatty asks for my number and I say no, and she's confused and disappointed. Sorry lol. Don't hate the player hate the game.

I felt good, despite possibly missing my own shots hunting that night!

Unfortunately, the guy didn't close, because my friend saw the girls getting in an uber and him not, looking disappointed Perhaps if I had also joined in the (what would have been) group makeout he'd have brought her home. Not going that far with the whole grenade thing lol.


This feeling, I supposed I'll call it "being in state" has only happened to me on this level during that visit to my old school, where I wrote about being "In my element". Perhaps this is a matter of growth in finding myself. Perhaps this is a result of the social confidence I've built in my city, having been growing the "Rogue King" thing for quite some time now. Or maybe I was just in a good mood / the right amount of drunk. Who knows?

What's important is that I must recognize this as a feeling I experienced, rather than a divided part of who I "am" or "was".

Back to work!

 

[Hue]

Though I did go a little too deep with the dive and talk about how "people aren't supposed to at a certain point of happiness", which is actually one of my more nihilistic thoughts that sometimes enters my consciousness and one that I'm uncomfortable even writing now.

This is because I'm deeply insecure in that I don't believe I deserve a certain extent of happiness, because I continue to do things that I hate other people for doing.

But I can and will forgive myself, forgive others, and change myself to lead by example in what I find deeply important.