Get Pussy Or Die Tryin'

[Hue]

Thursday

Was at a coffee shop with my friend, and met a cute blonde. She was in an anti-male band, yet she was being very friendly with me and was clearly attracted. I made fun of her for being such a stark feminist and things were going peachy. I was introduced to her friend that started the band, we had light banter, and then they left to sit with some musicians. Right before I left I told them to find me at a different bar, and they said they might.

At the next place I get pretty hammered, and see some other blonde who's the alpha chick. She's not that hot, but I rationalized my drunk head to think alpha chick = good sex. I pulled her upstairs and had it in the bag - and then the feminist chick (the friend) see's me in the corner and starts trying to shame me for talking with this girl. It was insane. Like, I came face to face with one of those possessed ideology types and she was trying to guilt me just for talking (with sexual intentions, duh, but I don't owe either girl any promises). So the feminist steals her "friend" away and "saves her" proudly.


Friday

Great day. Started with some of the cooler members of the SweetBros, then leave to a massive day drink at a bar. I see my coworker and get introduced to her cute HB7 friend. We hit it off immediately and I invite them to the next bar with us. Things go pretty well, but eventually my coworker starts getting really heavy and telling me about therapy. I listened and gave feedback, but total mood killer.

Idk why I didn't get the HB7's number... something just told me it wasn't the move. I eventually tell her I think she's cute and she's cool, and then disappear into the crowd. I was drunk, yeah, but in total control of myself at the same time. I met some other girl and chase framed too hard, then asked her some fuckboy shit like "so are you gonna get my number or what?" and they ejected. Got her number before she left. Everything before that was money though.

Then on the staircase I see this HB8 blonde and she opens me, totally excited, recognizing me from the psychology building. She said that I was really smart and I laugh and say no I'm a total dumbass. I tell her I'll meet her upstairs, as I was using the bathroom, but couldn't find her!

Basically, I didn't capitalize with ANY of these chicks! Idk why - the drive just wasn't there.

My buddy is totally about to cheat / break up with his girlfriend and she's going crazy. I can't wait to fucking pull chicks with this dude lol in light of that situation.

We hang at my buddy's house then go to a shitty party. I was blacked out and don't really remember any of it. I eventually leave to a bar by myself (don't remember shit) and then I had a terrible moment. I don't understand this, but my brother saw me, and makes some joke, and I remember looking at him like "can you just leave me alone?" and then leaving the bar. And I started crying. I put my shades on to hide it as I walked home... I don't know what came over me.

Him and I have a shitty relationship and he used to control me a lot when I was younger.. it almost felt like we were 9 & 10 again in that moment. He texted me to make sure I was alright. So yeah.. that happened.


Once I got over myself I popped into a nearby party. I don't remember almost any of it, other than making out with this black chick in a bathroom.

Other than the slight breakdown, I had a really fun day though. I hope that this exemplifies what summer might look like.

 

[Hue]

April 2018 Summary

Grand master style was a fun little trial run. I plan to revisit that and really get down some of the phrases / attitudes since I definitely didn't get the holistic understanding from my first read --> trial.

Then Mini came out of nowhere, but at this point I was nearly black-out drunk. I don't remember a whole lot of what we talked about, but it took a lot of mental energy to pull myself together to even speak. I think I tried some romantic frame, and she kept asking about what I did over vacation but because I was so drunk I couldn't speak without tangenting. I think I asked her home but she gave me some excuse per usual - though I remember she was engaged and enjoying the conversation. She looked really cute that night. I texted her the next day to try to plan a meet up and she said she's going home for easter, so I sent her a pretty low effort text and got one back

I saw Mini the week after Easter Break and she looked almost afraid to see me. We done.

Got nudes from a HB8 Tinder girl this morning but she lives far away.

Lol and she texted me at like 12:00 AM last Thursday. Probably wanted more pics from my end.

I definitely advocate grabbing as much ass as possible.

1+

Last night I went out and fucked a HB6 Semi-Butterface lol. Great body, and a good fuck. We fucked for like 5 hours and then twice again this morning. I wanted to get my dick wet so I did. But now my dick hurts

She booty texts me at least twice a week now. Gonna have to slow down with her before feels sink in.

This keeps happening. Other men are becoming afraid of me talking to their girls. I haven't felt this kind of feeling before, but I'm cautious towards it. Since I know (as Hector talks about this in his book) that the anger they give me, the hate, is derived from fear.. it feels powerful. It is powerful. But idk, there are times that I reflect on my enjoyment of this power (the ego boost it gives me, knowing what's going on) and dislike myself for it.

Right before close his friend started screaming at me out of nowhere that it was time for me to leave and his eyes were fully dilated in hate.

I could see this being a slippery slope, especially in the next few years if I keep getting better.. but let's not get ahead of myself.

Then we went to his plug's house (who I know and I'm friends with), and I was sitting on his bed talking to this girlfriend. I don't think I busted a move on her, but the plug loudly kicked me out while smiling devilishly. Very odd. I texted my old roommate what happened the next day and didn't get an answer.

I saw my old roomy at the bar and tried to grab a word with him but he bailed. I've talked to a few people about his behaviors and they seem concerned. I can't even imagine what it would have been like had we lived together again.. probably wildly fun but also dark and overindulged.

My high energy got narrowed to being hyper-focused. We left to another bar and I don't stay more than 5 minutes - no one was there and I was socially exhausted. I was tired of talking and doing shit with people.

No more snow.

I'm not there more than 1 minute, and this HB8 gives me a sexy look. Wide hips, skinny waist, pretty face, and amazing lips. I immediately open her, and it's an immediate hook. Now I'm doing low energy. I seriously felt drawn to this girl. I wiggle my way into her getting me a beer, and seed in us going outside once we get the drinks and she agrees. We sit next to each other and the connection is just growing every second. I'm talking close to her ear and our faces are touching slightly - it was electric and dripping with arousal. She tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let her.

Overall, I'd say she's the highest quality girl I've hooked up with. I think we could have a date this weekend, we'll see.

She never hit me back. Good experience, though.

Though it took me basically all day to get back to this point. I've felt depressed most of today and spent a lot of today in bed. I also have a huge project due tomorrow that I haven't started yet.. I'm about to start it immediately. I can feel myself getting a little obsessive about pussy again because I'm seeing results again and want to push myself to my limits.

Ya the general theme of almost every this week was a slow build up of social momentum from Monday --> Thursday and then by the weekend I'm jumping out of my skin ready to socialize like crazy. I wonder how much of that has to do with Alcohol, sleep, diet, and social momentum itself.

I take notice of this and get touchy with her and our bodies on each other quite quickly, and chase frame the fuck out of her lol. Then, she kisses me! I guess my reputation at the bar she works has landed me some solid preselection, and/or the plausible deniability of having a concert hookup made her say fuck it. Plus I was looking pretty sexy (;

I texted her some low-energy, low-commitment stuff and got the same back. She probably is wary of player-tactics so might prove to be a little harder to get. I think if I see her and she's not AR'd I should be able to work with something though.

After she says no I throw the ball in her court. She sends me 5 texts back and I don't respond. Everyone is graduating bitch, I don't have time for that shit. If I lose her that's too bad.. almost everything up to this point said she would be a fun date.

She's not gonna text me to set shit up. Too bad.

Like, I came face to face with one of those possessed ideology types and she was trying to guilt me just for talking (with sexual intentions, duh, but I don't owe either girl any promises). So the feminist steals her "friend" away and "saves her" proudly.

Yea that was insane lol. Mildly entertaining though.

Basically, I didn't capitalize with ANY of these chicks! Idk why - the drive just wasn't there.

I mean, I had a lot of fun with all these girls, and a lot of fun with some of the guys I was with but.. I wasn't focused on getting laid. Had I decided to act, I think I could have easily had a lay on Friday. Shoulda woulda coulda.

My buddy is totally about to cheat / break up with his girlfriend and she's going crazy. I can't wait to fucking pull chicks with this dude lol in light of that situation.

Soon. (EDIT: lol damn that's creepy)

We hang at my buddy's house then go to a shitty party. I was blacked out and don't really remember any of it. I eventually leave to a bar by myself (don't remember shit) and then I had a terrible moment. I don't understand this, but my brother saw me, and makes some joke, and I remember looking at him like "can you just leave me alone?" and then leaving the bar. And I started crying. I put my shades on to hide it as I walked home... I don't know what came over me.

Him and I have a shitty relationship and he used to control me a lot when I was younger.. it almost felt like we were 9 & 10 again in that moment. He texted me to make sure I was alright. So yeah.. that happened.

There is some deep seeded issues with us. It may take some more maturing before we can both actually reconnect, if we ever can.

Once I got over myself I popped into a nearby party. I don't remember almost any of it, other than making out with this black chick in a bathroom.

At least I bounced back bitch!

Lays: 2 (both pieces of cake, though)
Makeouts: 4 (2 HB7's, 2 HB8's)

LR: That White Boy
FR++: Immediate Connection - HB8 Brunette
FR: Server Game - Intermediate Observations



Okay, time for new (and expanded, specific goals). School is basically over with so I can't really include that. Diet stays. Exercise stays. Finances stays...

My drinking is an elephant in the room and I don't know what to think about it anymore. Too many times this month I'd let myself get out of control. In fact, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that I'm chasing that feeling of being fucked up enough to be buzzing & charming (or at least thinking myself charming) before blacking out and that.. is fucking dangerous. I'm getting better reactions out of people than ever, but what does that even mean?

And because I feel guilty about it (because I know that this is... my vice I guess) it gives me this complex layer of emotions surrounding drinking. I'm afraid of myself getting so drunk that I do some serious damage to my life. And I'm running from my fear. What might happen if I don't get a handle on this now? This goes back to when I posted in Off-Topic around a year ago, What is an Alcoholic?

This is what I concluded then,

All this aside, I fucking love to party.

It's not that I necessarily love getting drunk... I mean sure, the buzz is nice, but at most parties at my age / in my social circles, what do people also do when they party? They drink. I usually prefer intellectually stimulating conversation to drunked bafoonery, something that grows stronger as I've gotten older. Obviously, drinking is not a requirement to celebrate (;

What I needed and received, was some outside opinions on the topic, since most of what I hear from my peers is that what I do / we do is fine and well. While I don't plan on going 100% sober for the time being, I do plan on pushing my foot to the breaks a bit more. Not going out one night of the week that I normally would to go on a date / study / make some $$ is a solid alternative, and provides positive and negative reinforcement (get laid, kill an exam, no left hook to my bank account, no hangover).

I can actually attest that, more than ever, I'm having fun when I'm sober. AND that my life when I'm sober has me highly active and working on tons of shit. I was offered beer at a recent hockey game and didn't drink - then had more fun than my family member that did (seemingly). I was at the bar a few weeks ago and tried drinking, got two beers deep and then stopped and went home. I think it still holds true, I love to party. I enjoy drinking when I party, too.

BUT, this doesn't erase the fact that I've been getting really, really drunk lately.

Okay. I'm gonna slow down. Keep Drinking as a goal topic, definitely. The fact I've been sitting here thinking about this for an hour+ is reason enough to keep it. I had "drink a water with every drink" a while back, but all I did was chug a water or two then buy my next drink. I should actually sit and hold a water and pace myself.


Adding In...

- Reading (book a week + privately documented report & reflection)
- Serving (find social psychology research to make better tips & construct Server Game)
- Coding (learn coding before summer ends, 3-5 hours a week)
- Approaching (Day Game cold approaching at the mall & street stops)
- Music (30 minutes a day dedicated to song writing.. I miss that shit)
- GRE (3 hours a week to GRE practice, as planned)

That gives me 10 dimensions. All possible with continuing to do privately documented weekly schedules.

 

[Hue]

Got a bad feeling about my coworker.. seems to be a little controlling / egotistical, and he talks a lot of shit. Hopefully nothing.

We had our senior crawl last night and many interactions happened. I had to take my exam in the heat of it, so didn't get the full experience of it /:

My main issue was lack of patience.


First girl I was talking to seemed to be into me, but when I saw her later she was difficult to position myself to bang and I wasn't patient, so I left to talk with my friends. Then I didn't see her again, so I basically gave up too early.

Another girl saw me and asked if I had a cig (this is a way girls open you. they don't give a fuck if you have a cig), and I did the hand hold test and she didn't let go, but then her friend saw that I was only interested in her and left. My girl gave her a look that looked like she was contemplating why that happened. I would imagine it's because the friend wasn't good looking and was annoyed with the lack of attention, or maybe she wasn't looking for dick and her friend was - which can be annoying to be out with people having different "plans".

Almost right after she left to another bar, and I told them we would meet them there. Dumbass me didn't get her number, and also forgot that saying "we'll run into each other there" can be interpreted as a calibrated rejection.

The girl who I hit it off with last Friday was at the next bar and I got her number this time, but then sent a sloppy text about "lines" as in lines of people that could easily have been interpreted as lines of drugs.. and could have been a rather unattractive text.

I'm getting better at paying attention to my own emotions and responses to other people. This one kid that is extremely low value (we think he's autistic) came up to me at the bar and I had kind of a blank face before ignoring him and going back to talking with my friends. And I'm gonna be straight up.. people have made this exact expression to me before. It's like flat out rejection of the person's involvement and place in your social bubble. No respect. It's been a while since that's happened to me, but it has before..

At a bar I was explaining an idea about the narratives people are told don't match reality and a kid goes "dude I wish I was you", and I don't know what to make of that. It didn't seem sincere, so that could mean it was either an insult, an ingenuine compliment, or a test of some sort. I brushed it off and didn't give it any energy.

At another bar we were all dancing and shit, and MadHatter's girlfriend introduces me to her friend for like the hundreth time. She's a fucking smoke, but whenever I start talking to her there's no energy and the conversation goes nowhere. This again, might be a problem with my patience. I'm ditching girls in the conversation quickly if I'm not feeling it and while this is good for instinctual game, I'm gonna lose lays and experience from not persisting or trying different angles.

Eventually no body was out except for me, I don't totally remember how it ended up that way (I was changing groups like crazy, probably about 6 total), and I approached two girls on a patio. I can honestly say I didn't really try with the girls, and I know fully well why they left (I didn't lead conversation and it just fell off - very simple mistake). Right after this dude comes up to me, spouting how he's a pick up artist and starts to tell me all about how "he knows women" and how he could help me. I asked him what he reads and he said RSD, but the conversation came off very much as "I'm the wise sage, you're the inexperienced pupil".

The guys' fundamentals (not just looks, I mean vibe, posture, etc) were just bad. Nonetheless, I talked to a guy with a more cool impression and got his number so we can game some other time, then left because I didn't like the situation's atmosphere.

Then I leave to another bar and a girl immediately introduces me to her boyfriend. I don't remember how my night ended, other than some time at an after party where I had a conversation about that "alpha aryan kid" who apparently got kicked out of a party for the same reasons I distanced myself from him. Which is troublesome, we were supposed to hang this weekend.

So, not a great day.. kind of felt forced.

But hey bitch, it's summertime! Got a fresh new haircut and snagged a girl's number on the bus today. Hindsight I should have pushed for instadate, but ah well.

 

[Hue]

Last night I was paired up with an HB8 redhead with solid, perky tits and beautiful blue eyes, and I fumbled on the deep dive. I did have a stellar recovery though.

So I didn't start approaching until I got back to my area, having been downtown earlier. My favorite bar was packed so I just got out of the uber and dove right in. I didn't even walk inside the bar before I approached - there was a conversation going on with a topic I was familiar with, so I hovered and then popped in with as much ease as I could.

This really cute chick starts talking to me from the group, essentially inviting me into the bubble, but then I didn't hook and got side tracked by there other, less than cute friend. I talked to her in a friendly manner, then said I was gonna get a drink and left.

Shortly after I approached two girls, one of whom I knew, and her friend was a solid HB7 brunette. I kinda just played around with them, because it looked like they were having a serious conversation. And I fucked up riiight at the end, because I ejected, instead of trying to change the conversation's direction. Honestly, I couldn't think of a new topic and blanked out. But RIGHT as I left, the brunette gave me a microexpression of interest. Then dumby me didn't find them again.

After this, I saw a girl from my HS sitting at the bar clearly trying to get piped. I plopped down next to her and she immediatley put her legs into me. I should have just payed attention to what was going on right in front of me, but instead found out she was also a Psych major, then tried to play a game of "read eachother's minds", and didn't work it correctly. First I joked, "you're thinking.. Hue is suuper cool" and she backed off, then I backed off a little bit, and it all fizzled out. I tried to get her to play along after that, and just couldn't reengage so I ejected.

Then MOMENTS later, this girl I fucked last summer sits next to her, and she knows I approach a lot of girls. In all liklihood she told her that I fucked her, so, probably negative preselection.

Shortly after I see a girl from the first set running and jumping around the bar, and I position myself so she runs into me. She's bipolar, apparently. Oddly enough this made me think she'd be a good fuck almost immediately. Kinda fucked up on my part, but eh...

Her friends are cautious about her going out for this reason, so I tell her I'll meet her outside, but then never went up to her again.

Boom. I wasn't reengaging sets as much as I could have been.

After this, I see my old coworker standing near some hot chicks and his girlfriend, and start to make it pretty obvious to him I'm tryna smash through non-verbals. I get introduced to the HB8 red head, and it's ON for like 5 seconds. But then she pulls off, seemingly for no reason. I can hear her talking to her blonde friend, who is paired up with a guy, say "you should just go home with him".

I kinda stand there trying to appear neutral / calm, when I could have reengaged my friend or done something else. I more or less blanked on what to do. Then, they leave for no real reason. I find them again about 5 minutes later and talk to the blonde who asks me, "do you come hear a lot?". Which might be reputation since this is more or less my, as my friends termed it, "breeding grounds" lol. I answer truthfully and say I love this place, and then I don't really remember what happened...

Next I remember I'm outside and my buddy runs up on me, and he is fully ready to game some chicks - his GF just got back to cincinatti and he's been distancing himself from her for a while. I'm down as fuck, and pumped he's tryna game again. I look around for another set and he finds two blondes but they're pretty mehh. Just not my type, I guess. I eventually join his set and try to talk to the other blonde, but she's being all "I'm sad ): " and when I try to talk she just goes and leans on the while, "I'm sad ))): " and it was clearly an act. This kinda annoyed me, and then I turn to my right and see the redhead HB8.

I walk up to her and spontaneously this comes to me,

"Hey, I'm not gonna lie I talk to a lot of girls, but out of every one of them that I talked to tonight you're the only one that it felt right even for a moment. You wanna go outside and chat?"

This injects energy into our bubble and she happily agrees, and her blonde friend looks pleased. We stand in line to get pizza, but then as I said I fumble on the deep dive. I don't think I was being energetic enough / putting enough into my fundamentals or eye contact, or something. But, then she runs off, comes back, I try to reengage (maybe I should have tried a new topic), she runs off again.

She also would say, "don't touch me" when I touched her arm, stomach, etc. which I knew was just a shit test. Though I'd back off and reengage later when I felt like it.


So, rough night. Nothing gained, except experience. But hey! That's how you bounce back muthafuckaaa


Now, off to the mall to day game! 10 approaches, let's go.

 

[Hue]

Friday night
Like no one went out. I hit up a lower-value group to hang, and was introduced to a couple new guys that a mutual friend knew who were actually pretty chill. We have fun at a pregame then go to this chicks house for a small party.

I did some "jabs" with a girl to see if she was interested and didn't get a whole lot so I mainly focused on befriending the guys I didn't know.

I also talked to this dude who had that "autistic" kid with him last tuesday and asked why he hung out with him. It came down to, in his words, nothing more than him feeling bad for him and so I explained to him that while his efforts are in good faith it's more or less not worth it for either party - the kid is a lost cause and it was never his problem to start with. I explained how I knew a very similar situation, and that there are alternatives to helping the "lost cause" friend, and you don't need to allow him to be the dead weight that he is. While there was a moment or two of the conversation being slightly uncomfortable, he genuinely thanked me afterwards and we both finished on a happy note.

When we called the uber to the bar I actually left with the guys I just met instead of my friends, in hopes I could solidify the acquaintance during the more packed trip. I can't remember the conversation exactly, but we definitely left with a better vibe than we started with.

At the bar (not very packed) I play a shitty game of pool, then see a girl from my HS and try to game her. I end up leaving with her (just her) to go to another bar, but then her friends caught up with us as we left, and took her to another bar because she has a boyfriend. It was a pretty fast pull, and I essentially used my social proof from HS to make things go forward. I honestly do think she was down, but her friends couldn't allow that to happen. I laughed really hard 5-10s after we broke apart and started walking different ways.

Then I pop into my usual place and don't remember a whole lot other than opening this HB7 blonde, and things going pretty well. She was a 25 y/o teacher. Eventually her sister (who was graduating, loud, and sassy) tried to cockblock, and I handled it but just giving her a smile and continuing touching / talking to the blonde. The blonde was down, but explained that she was with her sister the WHOLE weekend and shit. I set up a date in a very matter of fact, confident kind of way and the blonde agreed, but then I stayed too long after it was set up. I stayed to cement the emotions, then I should have left on a high note - but I remember a whisk of things fizzling out.

I did text her the next day to no answer. I worked for the entirety of Cinco de Mayo, really needed the $.. then today was graduation so there was literally no logistics anyways. A possibility why she didn't agree all around.. maybe I could have gotten to know her sister better. Though even this would have been a challenge because she was drunk, loud, and sassy lol. So whatever.

Mall Game
I'm disappointed in myself, because I didn't approach at the mall as planned - though I did go to the gym. I felt to weird in stopping people, but there was this ONE GIRL that was petite, hot, and walking very slowly. Was kicking myself all day on her. I will be going regularly this summer, that I promise myself. I'm gonna get better with the AA, which I thought I conquered in Austin but apparently not.

Work
Cinco de Mayo was mad fun to work, giving margaritas to everyone. No numbers though.

Then at work today I said something fucking stupid. The manager asked me if I could take a shift on Monday. I worked my ass off this weekend and am extremely drained, so I pondered it, but then said I think I have plans in the afternoon. She asked what they were and I slowly told her that I think I'm getting coffee with somebody as I started walking upstairs to clock out. Both her and my other girl coworker (I literally work with 95% girls & gay guys) asked almost immediately, "what's her name?? is it a date?? blaah!!" which could be slight interest or just general girl banter, but I basically said nothing. Then my manager goes, "what's his name?" as a joke and I laugh and say, "Dave!" just completely at random.

I didn't like how I dealt with this, and so I buried myself deeper once the other girl came upstairs. I told her after a quick work clarification, "nah but.. I don't kiss and tell" and she makes a weird face and goes "We.. didn't want to know anyways!" and I just got "suuuuure ;P".

The problem here is, and many girls are socially aware enough to have seen this behavior before, that me doing this was essentially like

- deflect talking about date
- realize that I made a non-sexual answer (coffee with a friend, possibly)
- clarify, "no, I'm going on a date, just so you know"

The latter there is very unattractive and makes it appear that I'm try harding / flexing / bragging, especially because it was after the initial conversation. Had "I don't kiss and tell" been my original answer then that'd have been fine, but this is me going out of my way to tell her that I don't kiss and tell.

But luckily, social circle gives you many chances. There's also a new girl who's an HB7 that I'd definitely stick it in.. so maybe we can get some summer loving going


EDIT
I keep thinking about the interactions of my workplace now. The other straight guy (great with all the girls there) is leaving, and I feel inferior to him. He likes me and we would fuck with eachother and have a good time. I'm a little disappointed in this because I wanted to study him more. But here's what I've got.

- either stoic focused on work, calmly explaining a new development, or smiling and happy go lucky
- enters all bubbles at their energy level, then builds up energy with smiles, jokes, and warmth
- touches everybody, first subtley, all the way to full out wrestling with girls
- makes games out of ideas (I told this chick who was freaking out about nothing "deep breaths hun bun, deep breaths" and he did the same thing, but "when I ooo (inhale) you go ooo, when I go ah (exhale) you go ah, ready?")
- owns basically every insult thrown at him and agrees
- muscular & well styled hair, good posture
- when he gives me shit it will be something like "go run your food" and is always harmless insults
- saturday he convinced the manager to do shots with me, him, and others which is way against the rules

I work with him Tuesday so I'll try to pay closer attention, it's his last day.

Then, I just realized this from Chase's last article on facial expressions / ticks, but I actually flinch to those I feel inferior towards. As a newer guy, I still don't really feel dominate (almost at all) towards the existing social circle in the social setting, and that I'm slowly moving into it (I only have this problem with work environments, but until new people come I always feel weird for a good while).

Everybody is super touchy at work, and I'm not used to that. Like straight girls just grabbing my arms, chest, and all this shit - and remember I'm skinny as fuck, and not exactly cut. When my coworker natural was around me and made a swift arm movement, I flinched away because I thought he was gonna hit me (when I was younger my brother would punch me with no warning when I wasn't paying attention and eventually I flinched whenever he was present.. on certain occasions I still find myself doing this for no reason but hand never thought about it until Chase's point in his article).

The bartender is an HB9 latina, and I'm still a bit flustered when we chat. She came up to me with smiles on saturday because I was decked out with Cinco de mayo gear, and tried to grab a pin on my chest, but I flinched. She goes, "what?? I'm not gonna bite you??" and was annoyed. Later she called me a white boy when she saw me dancing, right after I stopped, and I just kept walking and said "whaat? I can't hear you??" and smirked at her. I digress. Anyways, it made me realize that because I'm intimidated by her, I acted submissively.


Other Shit
Also, sometimes not all girls are great at flirting. For guys with some experience, this might sound familiar - or maybe I'm slightly overthinking here. I had thought about how I'd responded to Lipstick in the past, and then how girls have responded to me during approaches before. A girl is flirting with you, but it feels so forced and kind of irks you. I think this is partially because she did it in an incongruent or socially uncalibrated way, and something with HER vibe was off. Similarly, when you are trying to flirt, but maybe you being incongruent and for whatever reason the chick makes a weird face as she responds, it's because of that disconnect - whatever that context may be.

I'm pretty stressed because of a bunch of obligations and other things right now, so I'm ruminating.. but I wanted to get all this down before I forget to / just hope I internalize it without second thought.

 

[Hue]

Holy cortisol am I glad it's break.

That was a rough over-think everything session last night, not my worst, but rough. Thank god for meditation and sleep. I feel much better now and am focusing on my less-serious productive side (exercise, music, reading) for today.

But yea, I got something out of it. I hold a grudge against my brother for the way he treated me when I was younger because I know people are delicate when they're young & growing (it's been beyond brotherly roughness / assholishness, but I'm not getting into that), and I realized that it's the grudge holding me back, not the damage that was done or whatever. It's my weakness that is the problem, and my weakness is/was pinned to the idea that it was his fault and I was a victim - which (after all the cognitive dissonance and swirling, racing thoughts) boils down to a victim mentality.


So this morning I woke up and bumped into my hot neighbor - recognized that we were gonna run our leases soon, and tried to set something up. She said he has to study for a professional exam until this Saturday, but that we should do something (may have came off as platonic - that's what my gut says). Either way I snagged her number and I'll count it as a rep.

Dealt with a Tinder chick who wants a texting buddy, and I matched with that red head HB8 on bumble, but she's playing games and being a bitch so I sent her stoic texts and now I'm not replying.

Think I might post up at a coffee shop to hang out just to see if any hot girls roll up - I'm free today but don't know where to find people on a Monday night.

 

[Hue]

Ran into some old friends at a coffee shop on Monday, both there girlfriends were giving me IOI's. One of them I know I could cuck but he doesn't have a whole lot going for him so I ejected pretty quick.

Went to a concert last night and felt as though I was being used by the guy I invited (one of the promoters gave me free tickets). He was also flexing some of his "connections" and shit as we walked in. I knew the guys he introduced me to, cool dudes. They bailed after the show, and him and I went to a popular bar afterwards. Once at the bar I more or less tried to ditch my friend because I found other people I knew, and a really cute black chick.

I approached them with some opener I don't remember but they really liked it - and then they went on to tell me they go and visit Miami all the time. That they get a cab, pop out, and walk around until people approach them and invite them into parties. Kinda felt like bullshit but it was qualifying nonetheless. All these dudes were trying to grab her attention and I used sprezzatura to get their attraction. I wanted to keep trying to pull this chick because she was rubbing up against me with "incidental" touch, but my friend wanted to leave to an after party. So against my better judgement I got her number and left, saying we were gonna get drinks this weekend.

Woke up to a Tinder message from that HB7 black chick from last month, she wants a round two. Also matched with this chubby but hot goth chick (all her photos are sexy outfits or lingerie), and I'm not gonna lie I'm super fucking horny right now. May or may not hit it, I feel like I'm on a dry spell. Alek recommends just getting your dick wet to bounce back and gain momentum, and I might do that.

 

[Hue]

Work

This bitch that definitely was attracted to me during my first few weeks is being a bitch and talking shit now. Wonder if it's some form of autorejection from me not being interested in her.

The new girl is way cute. She looks like Jennifer Aniston, honestly. I had good things going for the first few hours of our first shift together, plenty of IOI's - then she brought up to me how she cheated on her BF, how she's kinda stuck in this city, and then out of nowhere she was like, "why does [douchey coworker] hate me?" and I feel like it was a test of some sort. Most of our conversation was platonic, but I used good fundamentals and deep diving. She kinda ignored any sexual frames I through out though. By the end of the shift I felt like things grew stale, but this might just be because it was the end of a long shift.

EDIT
This happened and I know I could have handled it better.
New girl: You know the funniest thing.. kind of look like my little brother
Me: Hmm, that's pretty weird
New girl: *stares* yea, it's mostly in the face
Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: Haha. Not a terrible suggestion..
Me: Well you're gonna have to show me a picture or two, new girl
New girl: Haha yea.. I can show you a picture

Gay dude set me up with a sexual window / chase frame window, and I feel like my answer could have been better.

Wednesday Night

Got invited to a party right after work. Rolled over and had fun. Introduced myself to a few people and made some friends for the night. There was one HB7, lets' call her Rose' who I just randomly decided to start talking to and I could tell she was qualifying herself to my expectations - matching the mold, so I decided to get a little more physical and ask if she had a boyfriend. We are both in the social sciences and love mindfulness (apparently). She said she was single, so I slipped a finger in the inside of her jeans and pulled her slightly into me and I knew it was on. We flirted and were touchy the entire night. After this I noticed that some girls who had been bitchy to me earlier started giving me IOI's, and all the girls at the small party were receptive to me.

There was a frat dude that seemed to know all the chicks and I befriended him as well. I felt very in control of myself and my interactions. We get to a bar and I'm shifting from person to person / girl to girl on the walk over. Once we're there I'm greeted by a bunch of people I know and it's a good time. There was a group of low value guys that were literally in line to talk to me (I know this sounds douchey but that's what happened), and my social proof was creating a snowball effect. I find Rose' again and she grabs her friend saying "hey this is [girl], I've been telling her all about you" and I have a flirty banter with them before jumping over to another group.

I come back around and pull Rose' closer into me and tell her I want to hang with her tonight, then move us over to a bench and slowly start escalating touch, feeling up her legs as we talk. I invite her home and she says that "shes not that type of girl" and I tell her I don't understand what she means - that the type of girl she is is one that I enjoy talking to. I even connect it to Taoism after some time (and from her responses I don't think she actually knows about it all too much). The connection is building and was getting really strong, then I throw on a yes ladder to put the icing on the cake. But she says "I don't go home with guys on the first date, I just don't". I persisted for about 20 minutes, changed the subject, came back to it, etc. but she wouldn't budge even after admitting she totally wanted to.

Then her drunk friend rolls to our bench and says there's a guy trying to pipe her up, but she's not going home with him. The guy comes over and says his name is Jerry, like the comedian Seinfeld, so I tool him and go, "tell us a joke!". Rose' laughs and asks him to do the same. So the dude actually does a bit of some deadpan humor which I laugh to but the girls are weirded out lol. I can't remember the conversation after but something comes up about him bluffing and the girls are like what does that mean?? and I make an assholish comment about how it means he's a pussy. The girls get excited by this and the kid just takes it, then starts to persist with the drunk chick. She tells Rose' like 20 times she's not gonna fuck him and then lets the guy walk her home.

I consider hypersexualizing at this point, but that could have gone bad given the social circle I'm a part of. I persist a bit more, explain that while I'm not giving her a now or never ultimatum, I am pretty sure that since this connection is here right now, and it would be next time we met, if we do, that there's no reason to not go home with me tonight - and she agreed. But, wouldn't budge, and then the bar closes down. As we're walking out I make one last try and grab her ass while I invite her home, and feel her getting turned on. She hesitates then says the same thing "I don't go home with guys the first time! We have all summer!". I pause and go, "okay, you seem to have made up your mind *turns away* (; take care" while our hands become more unlocked and she holds on. Last thing she says is, "don't forget about me!!"

She texts me at 3 am, "Dont forget about me" and I reply this morning, "forget about who? ;P". She just replied but to be congruent I'm not gonna text her until tomorrow / saturday.

 

[Hue]

Had drinks with a friend and saw a small show at a coffee shop. Went to a bar after and then my friend wanted to leave to another concert, but I stayed because of money & my buddy was coming to meet me later. The moment my friend left I returned to our seats and 6 girls were there. I make fun of one for stealing my seat and get it back, then open her. Cute petite HB7 brunette. She's also a psych major and I try the palm reading thing and bail on it quickly saying she has such tiny hands.

I deep dive her appropriately with her being a psych major and should have come up for air to relieve the tension, maybe joked around with her or chase framed her about something or other. Instead I dove deeper by asking what her fears were and she was a bit weirded out, so I pull back and then tell her to rotate her body a little bit and she complies. Then her friends steal her attention and I tell her I'll be back.

15 minutes later I start talking to her again, then her friends steal her for drinks and I feel a sense of ingenuity in how she asked it, and only a moment later her "best friend" tells me to leave because they're all friends with a few days left and I'm not a part of their group. Considering the navy seal extraction the other friend just pulled off, I listen because it wasn't worth the effort.

There was a girl showing off her legs and had these red shoes so I went up and said they were "red bottoms" like Cardi has, and she responses positively but then leaves to get a drink - she wasn't interested.

I think I only did one other approach? With social circle. A girl who my buddy fucked introduces me to a HB6 brunette who seems interested. Eventually I ask if she has a boyfriend.This might be worse than are you single? Because it potentially plants seeds about boyfriend zoning. She does, but I had been talking with her other friend about going to a date party with one of their sorority sisters and it was ambiguous as to if that girl cheated on her bf with me from the convo, and my girl was listening.

So I just go for it and ask how old her boyfriend is, then continue along the conversation, which implies that he's too old for her and I'm gonna try and fuck her anyways. Not long after my brother shows up and makes some really shitty joke about how I'm an inconsiderate family member to one of our extended family (just a really negative comment, not funny) and I stared him down and said "hey dude! that was really funny man!" and he dips out.

I went back to talking to my girl who still seems bubbly but shortly after the girl who introduced me steals her and I'm left there. My day 1 friend also showed up but he was acting weird and I didn't feel mutual respect so I get some food. There's a cute girl having a serious looking conversation on a bench and I interrupt and start talking to her. She seems interested, then a guy comes up and steals the conversation. I manage to steal it back, and then the dude sends over this weird guy to start talking with me and to not be a total dick I bear with the conversation.

When he leaves I turn to the first guy and say, "hey, buddy, what the fuck was that?" and call him out for sending the guy over to distract me. He maintains eye contact for a little bit but then looks down submissively after about 10s, and the girls look excitedly at us. Then the dude takes both the girls away, they were HS friends I guess.

I approach red bottoms girl on my way out and the guy she's with goes "oh, this was the red bottoms dude?" and I say something I don't even remember then leave.

Rough night... and in reflection I notice that I'm being a lot more aggressive with other guys. Maybe testosterone or something.

 

[Hue]

Friday
Friday had a pool party with some friends at an apt complex. A much larger group of black folk started to party there too, and a few of us engaged with them before heading back to the room for a quick pregame before bars. One of the dudes I was with (puts off a dumb fratty vibe) invited two meh chicks to come along with us, both were HB6's. We do a ton of Jager shots before we go out.

My one buddy that's with us just broke up with his girlfriend, and has been asking me for insights the whole time we've been together. I told him the quote I just read from Chase's old forum post, that "relationships are like pottery", and let him know that he's my day one, I'm here for his ass. And that my ass thinks his ass needs some new pussy tonight. He's down, but keeps hitting his wax pen and getting high as fuck. I told him that's gonna affect his game but he said he does what he wants. Fair.

Right before we leave we head back to the pool to grab our other friend (who's now blacked out) and he's talking to this HB7 black chick. I come up to them and she comes onto me "oh my god you're so cute". I pull her into me a little more and go "aww darling thank you" and we banter around for a bit with arousal spiking on both ends. I let her go and she walks around a little bit more, then when she makes her way back to me I pull her in again. I tell her how we're about to leave, but I'd love to see her again - and that we're gonna have to grab a drink another time.

She's all for it and I grab her number, but then keep holding onto her and grab her ass. She's in a swimsuit so it was great, I love me a black girl's ass. I'm getting a half chub at this point lol. Hindsight, I should have said, before we go, I need you to show me where the bathroom is and hooked up with her in the bathroom. I turn her around and put her ass on my dick, then look to my friends who are trying to get mr. blacked out to come with us and he's gonna stay at this party (ya we should have stayed), so they're ready to leave anyways. All that went down in about 4 minutes.

We get out and start walking to the bar. My one friend is stoned and completely silent. The dumber-jock kid and I are both flirting with the girls pretty heavily and kinda taking turns passing them back and forth with banter. By the time we get to the hipster bar I think he's getting the asian chick and I'm getting the red head. I'm starting to formulate how we're gonna split them up but nothings coming to mind. I also slow down on the alcohol so I have control of myself tonight.

Then some more feminist bullshit! All my friends go to the bathroom when we get to the bar immediately, I instead grab a beer and a water. When they come back, I go to the bathroom line, to see that everybody is waiting single file, even though there's two different bathrooms - the guys bathroom is hardly being used. So, I start walking infront of the girls, so that I can go to the guys bathroom. This chick stops me like, "what are you doing??", and I just say, "going to the bathroom" with a kinda of "what" tonality and facial expression. She goes, "why?? because you're a guy???". I say, "yes, I'm a guy so I'm going to the men's bathroom" and her and her friend start getting pissed. I ask them, "would you like to use the guy's room? if so, go right on ahead", and the two of them jump the line to the guys bathroom. I stand behind them confidently, and then kinda chuckle to myself about the situation. Right before the initial chick goes in, she apologizes. Then two girls walk out of the girl's room and say, "hey really sorry about that, we don't know them", and I just laugh and gesture them to carry on.

I go back outside to meet with friends - and now the girls want to go back to their dorm - one of them is an RA. Me, thinking that means we could split them up from there is down. We talk a bit more and mr. dumb jock says that he got a 4.0 last semester, which makes me think he might just be putting on the "dumb guy act" a lot of frat guys do. After we banter and finish our drinks we get there - and it starts to boil down.

From talking we find out that there's only one open room (the dorms are closed for summer) and one of the girls is sleeping on the couch, and the jock guy is not leading AT ALL anymore. I ask my girl to split with me and both of them are like "oh nooo - we're tied by the hip tonight". I tell them that we're gonna go back out (my stoned friend and I) and they're welcome to come. I even tie it down to the jock guy, like "hey, you three can stay here and we will just go back out, no biggie", because I started to think he was trying to pull a threesome. He just stalls and then finally says okay let's all go back out, now that the girls wanna come out too.

We walk to the old apt to finish off the Jager and I separate my girl more on the way there, deep dive her, and eventually grabbing her ass. But then the moment we get into the room and the guy with the chicks never come in. My buddy and I wait and do a shot, but then they never come in. We walk back out and they're nowhere to be found!

I think what might have happened is that dude knew a place he could bring them to smash in the apt complex and did - and was either just being a pussy or had some other issue with the dorm situation. Or idk, maybe some totally new prospect came up.

After this my day one and I got in a dumb drunk argument and I went home because I didn't want to be out while I was angry.

Work
That girl who was showing attraction is being more and more of a bitch. Red flag. Didn't see Ms. Jennifer Aniston. Some HS friends came in and I served their table, got one girl who I had never met very attracted but couldn't subtley set anything up with her as the bar was closing and literally the whole bar could have heard me - they were the last table and I weighed reputation as more valuable. Hopefully they'll be back because I've seen them in there before.



Got a whole lot going on this week with professional shit but plan to go swing dancing on Tuesday - should be fun. Also I have drinks with that black chick on Tuesday - but my dick texted her yesterday trying to gear up towards nudes and it's all quiet on the nudist's front as of now so we'll see.

 

[Hue]

Monday

My old drinking buddy came back into town and I had a pushback on a work assignment to decided to put everything off and party on a Monday night. We went way too hard and I regret not going home earlier. With his trajectory, I don't see this pattern stopping any time soon (we would typically go on week long benders whenever he'd be in town in the past) of me rationalizing an excuse to throw everything to the side to spend time with a good friend.

My other friend who I thought might be a sociopath earlier this year(?) actually revealed to me something along the lines of this, again. He's charming & dominant, and a times ingenuine, which sparked my distrust in him. I noticed that he never closes with girls that he games though and began to wonder why, so when we got a moment I asked him. He said that the psychological satisfaction of knowing he could, then choosing not to, is more of a reward than getting his dick wet is. And this dude is a full out, 100% BMOC natural - he's much better than me at social circle and had our bartender wrapped around his finger the entire night, we got free drinks and food because of him. In one way it made me think of a recent comment Seppuku made, that once you learn seduction you can use it for whatever you want - which can be applied here. At the same time the egotistical basis of what he explicitly said is troubling. Or he was rationalizing an inability to close. Doesn't change how I interact with him, but I wanted to make note of this.

Tuesday - FR++: No Eye Contact

I texted that black chick because our date was today and got her on the phone since she ghosted me from when I tried setting up a nudes. I reestablished a warm vibe with her over the phone then tried to get her over before she did shit with her friends, and had to persist a little bit.

When our date time rolls around it's pouring so I call her and just invite her straight over and she declines. I change the plans to another place and she agrees, then it stops raining and we go. I had to force myself not to double text / call and not chase, which was hard but probably served me later on.

I wait at the bar and when she rolls over we sit on the patio. Her fucking body.. god damn. I didn't notice from when I met her drunk. Then my first fuck up, I try to open the door and the bar's not open for another 30 minutes. I laugh at myself and invite her straight home, she says no and I persist, then say we're just gonna kick it on the patio for now. We chit chat and I start finding more out about her and using touch until the owners roll up and angrily say it's gonna be another 10 minutes (we were on their property). I use plausible deniability to say we'll wait at my house for another 10 minutes then come back.

We go to my house and sit on the couch, I have her take her shoes off. I get closer to her after pouring us a drink (all I had was watered down alcohol I saved from an after party, which I didn't remember wasn't even close to a substantial drink) and eventually line up a kiss. Her face goes stoic after I pull off, and I felt like it was her forcing herself - it didn't feel real. We talk some more and I go for another kiss and she pulls off after like 3 seconds. I was pulling too much and not using enough push so I back off after this.

The whole time, she won't look at me directly. She'd either face the TV, or dart her eyes away after contact for 1 second. It was really annoying, actually, but I maintained a warm, cool vibe and tone most the whole time. She tries to demand that I get rid of my droid and get an iPhone, and it was really dismissive and off - so I just laugh at her for trying to push that on me so dogmatically and eventually she cracks. I tell her to lay down with me and she won't (I had planned on going the Narrow J route and putting my dick on her ass, then starting to make out, but she stopped complying around here).

After pulling off hard at one point, I see her pull out a dollar for some reason I don't remember and I make fun of her saying she has to tip me for the drinks (me being a server). I get much more physical with her and have my hands up and down her legs. I pull her into me and bring up the interaction at the pool, and I can smell her musk and her getting wet, so I knew this was all just a face she was putting up for whatever reason. I go in for a kiss again and she pulls off almost immediately. I have her lean into me more on the couch and try to slip my hand down her pants onto her beautiful ass, and she removes my hand. I tried getting physical like this about 2-3 more times, and she keeps resisting, then starts playing on her phone. No eye contact still. I ask her, "so you're not to into the whole giving people eye contact thing, are you? (;" and she says it's just me, because of my eyes, and eventually that it's because they're so piercing.

There was a funny moment where she asked about my major and I explained that I fuck with people that go "can you read my mind?" when they find out I'm psychology and I pretend to cold read them then go "you.... are really into..... anal", and she lost it. Helped bring sexual energy back too, but she'd always go back to stoicism.

I pull off entirely because she's not complying, not letting me escalate, and generally making things very difficult. I put the glasses away and as I enter the bathroom tell her she's free to join her friends. I come back and sit next to her and say almost nothing as music plays. She asks me what a typical day is like for me and instead of using some sexual humor or joke (I start off by having a five-some with the Kardashians, then drink a bottle of champagne before work, you?) I answer her with some of my daily routines, then go back to ignoring her, and repeating she's free to head out.

She stands up, puts grabs her shoes and says "I'm so pissed", I ask why and she says "there's mud on my shoes", and I say nothing. She puts her shoes on then looks at me (extendedly, woo!) with this lustful, enthralled look and asks if I'm walking her out. I say, "oooh noow you're looking at me. you know where the door is" and go back to my phone. She smiles and kind of scrunches her face and goes "oookay you're being weird" and leaves. I say "nice talking to you" (regret that, don't reward noncompliance & resistance) and she walks out.

Maybe I'll invite her over again in a week if she doesn't text me.

 

[Ambiance]

Sup Hue,

Four pages! I was wondering when this day would arrive. Gets strenuous having to scroll down so much when I check out your posts lol

Your BMoC friend seems like an interesting guy.

About the black chick my thought is that you moved too fast. Which may have been your intention- I've purposefully moved what I thought was way too fast many times. If you weren't feeling experimental though, from what I can tell she wasn't comfortable when you made your move, and that kinda showed your cards which gave you an uphill battle.

I think if instead of going for the kiss you could have done something else that's more under the radar and would have turned her on giving you the power. There was once this one girl who was being difficult with me and I could kinda tell would resist kissing me, but instead I started escalating below her waist on a high note and kept doing more and more half nonchalantly and got her super, super horny to the point she was begging to kiss/fuck me. I orchestrated us to get alone, and then it was smooth sailing.

Plenty of other times I've been in your exact position and gone for kisses and fucked things up.

My thought is that there comes a point where you get advanced enough to pull back a bit on the move fast paradigm and get inside the girl's head and escalate accordingly. Your girl would have fucked you if she had been less in control.

Anyway, you're doing better than I am these days so I guess who am I to say what to do?! Hahaha keep it coming brother

Ambiance

 

[Hue]

Ambiance,

Four pages! I was wondering when this day would arrive. Gets strenuous having to scroll down so much when I check out your posts lol

Once I hit masterpimp god level I'm gonna have to make another journal, Before I Self Destruct, to learn handling reputation & keep up with the 50 Cent references.

Your BMoC friend seems like an interesting guy.

Yea he's pretty cool, but just not trustworthy - he was telling me last night in like 5th grade he learned just how much power he had messing with people and figuring out how to persuade / charm. Now that he's 22 those things happen on a different scale. He's buddy buddy with you until you're not needed, so I have to keep him at arm's length. As far as game goes, I've learned a great deal watching him.

Come to think of it I wouldn't be surprised if some of the people I used to be closer to keep me at arm's length because of how quickly I disappear when I'm out drinking with them (sometimes once the social proof is there and I'm locked in there's no reason for me to stick around).

instead I started escalating below her waist on a high note and kept doing more and more half nonchalantly and got her super, super horny to the point she was begging to kiss/fuck me. I orchestrated us to get alone, and then it was smooth sailing.

Yeah man I tried this and while she'd let me rub her legs / ass, whenever I started feeling up her ass below her pants she'd physically remove my hand. I've used this before and it can get really high arousal which has been the main basis of my game in the recent months.

To reiterate though, you were escalating like that in a public setting before getting her alone? I've seen this work wonders too because if you're discreetly getting her turned on it's your dirty little secret which is always fun.

My thought is that there comes a point where you get advanced enough to pull back a bit on the move fast paradigm and get inside the girl's head and escalate accordingly. Your girl would have fucked you if she had been less in control.

Yea, I'm thinking what my game might need right now is practicing some of Alek's gambits. Like really stealing their attention with a verbal + nonverbal combo with something like the mirror or getting really good at sex talk so that they start imagining wondrous things in their head.

Anyway, you're doing better than I am these days so I guess who am I to say what to do?! Hahaha keep it coming brother

Ay bro, I'm on a new girl dry spell so we're in a similar boat. Your semester is almost over right? Go big! Bang your professor during her next office hours!

 

[Ambiance]

To reiterate though, you were escalating like that in a public setting before getting her alone? I've seen this work wonders too because if you're discreetly getting her turned on it's your dirty little secret which is always fun.

It was a girl from work. We had this amazing vibe but she had just found out I had taken another girl from work out the previous week Half my escalation was in public when no one was looking, and the other half in the break room.

Funny story: I was fingering her in the coat room attached to the break room and this new guy who was obsessed with her came in and back where we were and started asking her all these questions meant to interrupt us. Meanwhile im standing beside/behind her with a finger in her ass. She was so red hahahaha

 

[Hue]

Funny story: I was fingering her in the coat room attached to the break room and this new guy who was obsessed with her came in and back where we were and started asking her all these questions meant to interrupt us. Meanwhile im standing beside/behind her with a finger in her ass. She was so red hahahaha

Love it lol. "Why is your finger in her ass?" - Sincerely new guy

Also that little box next to the Last Post username takes you immediately to the most recent post so you don't have to scroll & click through - thought I'd mention.

 

[Hue]

Wednesday

Met an old coworker at the bar (the one I almost had a threesome with). The other girl, HB9 Japanese instagram obsessed chick, has an interesting development. My coworker says that her and one other girl from their normally tight clique have more or less isolated themselves from the group, and then without warning of any kind said that they're leaving to Florida together. Both have been posting slightly stranger insta's (one girl posted a screenshot of someone texting them, "You are art") and allegedly dropping cookie crumbs of lesbianness for months.

I told my coworker I don't want to be judgemental and let her ramble mainly. My actual thoughts from a collection of stories she's told me about the girl & my own experience is that she's an attention seeking girl who gets lots of external validation (she would send mass texts at like 4 AM to play games with guys, she posts very alluring instagram photos, she's broken down on the phone to my coworker about how she wants to be with her, she only interacts with guys on the superficial level) who is probably lesbian / bi and uncomfortable with that, especially since the majority of her validation comes from orbiter guys, and this is somewhat a necessary growth for her in exploring her personal territory. I feel like a crazy person writing that out since there's so much I don't know about her personal situation, but if I had to guess.. that'd be the case

I had a lot of fun talking to her, and have noticed my general enjoyment of women has been increasing of late and I'm starting to appreciate them more.


Also then Thing 1 was at the bar and I spiked arousal by pulling her into me by the waist after having just talked about sex. with her after talking to her for about 20 minutes. I like her (personality) and she's hot. I know she wants to fuck me but she has a boyfriend, and I set up us going to a concert later this month.


Thursday

Went out with my Day 1 and the bar was an all out sausage fest. I started conversation with some fella who seemed more than interested to get to know me, then ejected to talk to a girl standing about 5 ft away. She was friendly and all, but she had a boyfriend who was actually brothers with the guy I was just talking to - so all that fizzled out.

We go to another bar and a girl from HS sees me and calls me over. I start talking to her and her hot friends, but then see one is a girl who I tried to get on a date last year after a new years party and felt the negative preselection immediately from her body language in reintroducing herself. Then my day 1 (quite tall and exceptionally good looking, but introverted & weird) jumps into convo and it's all eye on him, but then all he does is talk about himself. It made me uncomfortable (his interjection, seeing all the girls' eyes light up, as well as his conversational style) and so I stand around until they stop listening then go back to my other friends who are there.

One guys girlfriend in this group was giving me IOI's and I kinda just kept flirting with her knowing it might break into something, but treading lightly as to not bring attention to the boyfriend who I'm acquaintances with. Nothing ended up happening from it but the components were set up for a hook up (after party, her being annoyed with the bf, etc.) - the after party just got shut down mad quick.

There was one girl standing with a guy at the closing time of the bar, who then separated from him and was kinda standing there alone. Instinctively I walk up to her and ask her for her name, and she's happily surprised by my approach, explaining it's her birthday and her friends have left her. I start to shake away from more superficial topics and right then my day 1 walks up and overrides the conversation by talking about himself. We have no chemistry approaching chicks - and I have tried to give him suggestions and he doesn't like them. The uber was pulling up for the after party so I just hop the fence and leave him with the girl because she seemed interested. Found out yesterday he did not smash.


Friday (best night of the week)

I get invited to the girl's field hockey team for my school. They have tons of hot chicks and I've been to their parties before and almost hooked up with an HB8 before getting cockblocked by the mother hen. My two friends, Tuna & Clam are dating girls who are either on or know the team, and I'm just the cool sexy friend who get's pulled along. I have fun talking with Clam's girl but Tuna's gf doesn't seem to like me, but eh her loss.

We roll up to the party and it's medium energy, I come in low energy and kinda poke my head around to get a gyst of the vibe, then strike up conversation with some people playing games. I'm looking dope as fuck with a black denim button down, grey shorts, watch & necklace - also my new haircut is blossoming. They seem pretty focused on the game so I let them be and return to my group where we take shots. Then a new girl comes in and I introduce myself, and we establish an us against the world frame because we're both not on a sports team but at this party - minorities in the group.

The conversation stops when I ask for her name again, Lea, and she assumes I was trying to end it by doing so / she wanted it to end. I talk to some other dude that just rolled up and he's younger and it's very apparent. I ask him what all he does and he just keeps repeating shit like "living life, taking names, building fire, etc." without saying anything. In a friendly and amused manner I ask him what he means and he gets visibly nervous lol. I end up talking with him about relationships and say, "ah naw dude I'm single now too! It's fun!" and we were being quite loud by the conclusion of the convo.

I talk with the girls who's on music and put a dope new song on, and by the end of the convo she's giving me IOI's, but she's only an HB6 so I'm not down (yet lol). Another girl floats near us and I start talking to her too, and my mood and vibe is barreling forward with momentum. I jump over to a couch area with some newer people and make quick friends with the guys and girls there, so I'm in social butterfly mode.

We go over to another house party (the guys soccer team) and I was "leading the charge" with myself, Clam, and Clam's girlfriend so the guy at the door gets rather close to me and gives me the "who do you know here?" and I am unfazed, and happily explain I'm with Clam's girlfriend. He's being super serious (doesn't seem like a cool guy) and eventually lets me in - I just laugh it off and say I get it, I was in a frat too, you can't be letting rando's in all the time.

Then it get's really fun, and I spike my attraction with everyone at the party. This party is much more high energy and there's about 6 girls all dancing with one another pretty hard. I start busting out my moves and getting into the music, singing along and such, and this black chick starts dancing around me, so I spin around and basically doing a joking-grind on her. with my ass shaking in her direction. Now I'm locked into these 6 girls who I don't know dancing and we're all kinda bumping into eachother and being physical. I just let this build and keep dancing how I am, then when it feels right doing a joking-grind. Occasionally I would stop and talk with Clam's girlfriend and make fun of Clam for being such a buzzkill (he had stopped drinking and was sitting in the corner) and having a good time with her. At one point I asked the doorman to get me a beer and he did.

This spikes when I decide, fuck it, I'm grinding with this black chick. I start grinding into her in a way more sexual way, and lock in my legs with hers, facing her, and we basically just hump eachother. I end up grabbing her ass (a pretty nice thing) and boom - attraction spike. Right after this Clam tells me, "dude, that guy looks so pissed at you", referring to the doorman. I laugh at that because I know all the guys probably hate the attractive dude that comes out of nowhere, drinking their beer and dancing with their women - and I low key got off on it. Then I turn back towards the girls and I'm getting IOI's like crazy, and from girls who weren't really paying attention to me before. This is a product of us being social creatures and preselection as it's described - I got to see it again first hand.

I start talking with Lea again and things are going well (though I could have moved faster). I stop inside and see mother hen talking with a bunch of girls, and no one inside is giving me any IOI's. On the contrary, they seem annoyed with me. This is the other affect of spiking attraction, which was made even worse because of my near hookup with the HB8 last year that mother hen shot down. I see the effect and go back outside, and now everyone's gonna leave to a bar. Fuuuck, I was just getting started motherfuckers. We go to the bar and mother hen pull Lea aside and they stick to eachother like glue for the rest of the night.

Then I got too drunk, saw that I was getting cockblocked and left. My other approaches didn't work. It was odd because I felt aware of everything around me, but my body language and speech showed everyone that I was shit faced. Like I was operating a malfunctioning machine. I had one really sloppy number close to finish the night, the girl seemed pissed off when I handed her her phone back.

I get booty texted by Venezuela who wants to cheat on her boyfriend, go to her house and fuck her. Saturday morning she bought me food and dropped me off at home, then we talked about relationships, sex, and life at my house. She asked about my lay count (deflected) and my ex gf. I decide to tell her the story and she sits there and listens. It was nice to talk with a girl about the matter, actually. I know that me and her won't ever go beyond FWB's, and I tried to make it clear there's other women in my life (despite my dry spell).


EDIT:

Saturday I had a girl stop me in the middle of my shift and ask if she could have some water. She was a super cute HB8 latina. She was apologizing for my inconvenience, and with deep eye contact I told her, "that's alright, you're allowed to be thirsty", and whenever I filled up her tables waters she would stare at me hard. I really wanted to talk with her further but I felt weird doing it and ultimatley pussied out. Right before she left she was looking down, sad.

I wonder if I'm just too caught in my head about how I influence others (I definitely do that sometimes) but I wonder if this was just her way of telling me to talk to her with the intense eye contact and asking me for a water. Idk.

Anyways I'm trying to use more plausibly deniable innuendo to make the girl be the one making the sexual frames or ideation. "You're allowed to be thirsty" is a good example of this.

 

[Hue]

Just listened to Joe Rogan's take on working out and Franco's podcast on discipline.

Two major takeaways with these two things together.

1). I'm not disciplined enough. The dynamic Joe Rogan talks about, how when you tell yourself "fuck it" that breeds more "fuck it's" and your psychological & physical ecosystem starts to shut down. This is the same as a reply I made to Ree's post on revenge and how if you feed maladaptive behaviors they just continue to grow.

Last week I was supposed to "get my shit together" but instead went out on a bender and neglected my work during the beginnings of the week. My boss was pissed, deservedly.

2). The beast VS modern man thing that Franco talks about in his podcast, when I get off my discipline I regress back into the "beast" that I more or less was at my old school. The difference is that the modern MAN still can bring the beast out, and it made me remember when I was writing about how I polarized in the other direction and was being too much of a pussy, I tranquilized the beast more or less. My structure when I go out to try and get pussy isn't rule based - I'm just living my life and swinging the bat at pitches that come my way so there's less consistency as practiced seducers.

One main thing I need to do going forward is to make some strict rules, but to add them one at a time.

Too often I'll try to change a hundred of my variables at once and get so highly motivated "Ima do this, and Ima do this, and..." and then I'll go hard as fuck for a week, then not do at least 2-3 of the 7 things I said I'm gonna start doing in a week. So, one at a time. First MUST be exercise. Once I'm autonomous for 2 weeks of exercise, work, and research THEN I can become STRICT on other things, like coding/music/reading. Not to say I can't do those things for the next two weeks, but I can't make rules until I refine one behavior at at time. This is hows habits are formed.


Part of me knows, from my time as an intern for an addiction counselor that this is because I let myself say fuck it when my drinking buddy came back to town and we went really hard on a Monday night - that regresses to old behavior and just fucks up your whole week and I let that happen. I should have gone home earlier, and skipped the after party. I went to 4 after parties this week, like jesus fuck - it's not worth it! Lol. I'll take some time into my private journal tomorrow and lay down some rules, like start going out with the intention to not get stupid drunk (because if I can't have discipline to hold my liquor, I definitely don't have the discipline to not walk up to the after party next door).

 

[Hue]

Been going hard as fuck in the gym compared to my usual and starting to enjoy it again already. Going again as soon as I finish writing this.

HB8 Bartender Compliance Test
Last night I went out with my buddy and his bro to a bar. As soon as we get there the usual "see everyone I know" happens and I get all the high fives & blah blah blah. That HB8 bartender from the concert last month was there and looking sexy. I immediately give her a compliance test to stand outside with me and she says "no I need to get a water because I'm starting to get drunk" and I take a sip of her water and she goes, "and you need one too". I tell her to get me a water as I continue walking out which is another compliance test and me holding frame. She doesn't find me to get me a water, so the test failed. I wonder though, if "and you need one too" was her being like, "come with me" and I could have still held frame by continuing in my path and saying I'll find her in a second, then rerouting 5 minutes later or so and go up to her. I also feel like this move lowered attainability in the way I executed it.

"I'm walking to my car"
I had one other approach because I heard this HB7 latina on the phone like "I'm walking to my car right now" and not walking to her car so when she was done I tried to get a second with her, but she kept walking and moments later she was tagged up with some dude at the bar. She was bullshitting somebody on the phone which I presumed to be some orbiter or a boyfriend - with my recent fascination with cuckolding somebody I was immediately drawn to it.

Objectifying Me
My coworkers were at the bar and bought me shots which was mad fun - and once one of them was drunk they told me they had a "round table" of girls & gay guys about OBJECTIFYING ME (lolololol) and basically summed me up, talked about how big they thought my dick was (I told her I had a micropenis), who thought I was hot, etc. I was being touchy with one of the gay guys and the girl told me, "Hue stop he's literally getting an erection from you doing that" which I thought was hilarious - it's nothing to me to grab a straight guys ass, so it's nothing for me to grab a gay guys ass.. but apparently quite the opposite for the gay guy lol.



Then my friends I came with were looking to me for what to do because they're not autonomous at the bar like I usually am, and out of respect we go home around 1:30. Then my buddy left to buy more cigs and I was with his brother. They're literally the same person except his little bro is a lot more energetic and social (how I wish my buddy was) and I made the mistake of saying I liked him more because of this. Bad move. Not necessary, alcohol induced, and all it does is piss in the punch bowl. I hope that out of respect the brother doesn't tell him this, but that's unlikely because brotherhood is a strong bond where respect is typically the highest agent (unlike the case with my blood brother). With other people I wouldn't think a comment like this is that big of a deal but my friend in particular would take this as betrayal - he's very sensitive to interpersonal relationships. Then again I'm his closest friend so.. I digress.

My coworkers invited me out to drink with them tonight too, should be fun ;P

 

[Hue]

Bitch Shields Ain't Shit
One thing I forgot from Tuesday. Childish Gambino's new song, This is America is (one, amazing) kind of a mindfuck for me whenever it comes on - because I"ll start jamming and then realize the darkness that comes along with the song, and how I'm literally acting out the very phenomena Gambino is drawing in his art.

So at the bar I saw these two girls dancing when it came on, and wanted to know what they thought about the dissonance. I go up to them and ask the hot one what she thinks and she gives me a bitchy look and tone and more or less tries to block me out. I remain calm and peachy and turn to her friend and ask her what she thinks, and immediately the bitchy one's body language changes up and she invests more in the conversation. Bitch shield, detected. Wanted to make note of that - not all rejections are truly rejections.


"Jennifer Aniston" is a player
Found out that not only is my coworker not single, but that she's collecting orbiters like it's her job. Tuna is my coworker now and he told me that she wants to fuck him. I didn't negate what he said, but told him my thoughts on her - and the red flag of her telling me she cheated on her boyfriend. There's also a new guy that was just hired, also straight - I befriended him pretty easily. He loves to party and drink, so I think we'll get along - though when we went out he said he'd have one beer and had like 7 lol so proceeding with caution.

So J.A. comes to the bar we're at and just to test the waters I talk with her a little bit and tap her upper leg - she remains friendly but shortly after walks to another group of people. 10 minutes later it's me tuna and the new guy and she comes over to us and the new guy starts pouring all this attention into her. I leave and talk to some other people, then come back and she starts having a very similar conversation with the new guy that she had with me on the first day, and the same that Tuna said they'd had.

She dangles the possibility of getting with you, or a relationship window in front of you to make you chase. Then once you do she starts friend zoning you, occasionally dangling it in front of you again.

I stop feeding her much attention and later on in the night she comes up to me and does a really flirty arm grab then leaves - she's an attention seeking girl. So to smash I have to balance not giving her practically any investment and occasionally doing a jab of arousal / chase frames, etc.

Flirting With Fat Chicks
I met one of the other coworkers that I've somehow missed for 3 months at my job and had a cool conversation with her, she's obviously attracted, but she's not attractive and fat. She offered me some blow, and to come to an after party after the bars close. I said I'd maybe be down for an afterparty, though I didn't mean it as a sexual invitation. The bars close and she somehow got my number and triple texts me to meet up (saying my house, or hers), then calls me.

I know you're supposed to flirt with all girls, and I have been most recently - it's fun. Girls are fun. But, I essentially lead her to believe I wanted to fuck. I don't want to hurt her feelings or see the backlash of potential autorejection behavior as a defense mechanism.

Other Stuffs
I also approached two girls, one who wouldn't make eye contact and was being weird as fuck, another who said she'd come find me in the pool room, but when she came back I was talking with the weirdo and this turned her off. Both were HB6's. The bar we were at is an odd place, I don't think I'll be going back too often.

Then Tuna and I walk to his apartment and get in a semi-argument/discussion about what I was essentially describing as social calibration w/o using GC terms, and how statements are loaded with sub-statements. We drew a lot out of the discussion on people / life in general which is good, but he got mad at a few points possibly because I was "saging" him. We tight tho.


Goals for tonight
Going out again tonight and feeling great. Specific goal for the night: Open at least 5 chicks, and have at least 2 of them be a double set where I open the friend and say something along the lines of, "hey I just wanted to stop you for a second, your friend is really cute and I had to talk to her. You mind if I steal her a second?". I wanna see how that plays out. Also I'm going to a restaurant/bar later and I want to test the waters of going up to a table and trying to steal girls attention - may do that if the opportunity presents itself.

 

[Hue]

Thursday

I went out with some friends for beers, then margaritas. At the patio of the margarita joint I saw an older looking woman blowing bubble gum. She looked hot because of the gum so I went up to her and asked her if I could have some gum, then moments later told her I just thought she was cute. Turns out she's actually really into blowing gum, she's got a job selling art, and she leaves in a different city. We talk for about 10 minutes and I throw a sexual frame or two then ask her to get a drink. She doesn't drink, but would like to get tea/coffee. I get her number and return to my friends who think it's hilarious I just went up to a random woman like that.

The kitchen manager where I work see's me drinking and stops at the patio to talk (one of, like 5 people who I knew that happened to pass by). Her gay friend asks for my number and we all chat for a few minutes and she leaves. More on her later.

Then we go to another bar and I open some girl I've never seen because my friend is busy talking, and deep dive almost immediately. When my friend can chat again I tell him I'm leaving to a party and go.

At the party it's mostly sophomore chicks and a couple dudes, and my friend. Right when I walk in this kid is leaving the house shirtless, clearly having just been in a fight. I make note of it and go up to my friend, steal some liquor on the table, and head downstairs where everyone is playing games. Probably about 10-15 people total. I start trying out my affect on any of the girls and testing the waters, and the most receptive is the birthday girl.

We chat, flirt, and play pong. By the end of the game my hand had been above her ass (though not actually grabbing it) and she was cool with it, giving me more IOI's as things go along. I move her upstairs and actually isolate her on the couch, where I remember she was looking intensely at me. If I was going to pull I should have pulled then.

More people come in and the party continues with talking, cake, games, and the usual. Eventually my friend leaves - and birthday girl is still sticking on my side. The rest of the shit that happened can be found in my recent post in General about me asking her to come up stairs, her friend objecting, her coming up and then leaving. About 30 minutes after that I was using the bathroom and a girl walked in so I explored the upstairs a little more, then the birthday girl comes up too, right as the girl pissing walk out. I was near the stair case and there was shit all up and down it so I asked them to come over and look at it, because I thought it was weird.

The one girl leaves and then the birthday girl stays. I lean on the wall and talk to her, bringing up some subtle thing I thought was weird about the alpha chick's (crazy bitch who just started tons of drama with her boyfriend, claiming he hit her) behavior and she slowly goes, "yea that was weird", and goes back down stairs. I understand nothings gonna happen with her and I tonight so I go downstairs and find my (dead) phone where I left it on the chair. Right before I walk out I give the girl my number and leave.

The next morning I get texts accusing me of trying to rape her and the rest is found here.


Saturday

I was out of town the rest of the weekend but got home around 10 for a night out with my coworkers. It's all girls and me, with two other dudes. We go to a gay bar and I'm leading the pack, and as Alek described about people being sexually open there, it's totally true. We talked about dildo's versus dick flesh, lesbians, gays, me being straight (two non-coworker girls made CLEAR body language changes when it got brought up, as if they were blushing and looking down). The drinks at the gay bar were strong as fuck and I got drunk much faster than expected.

At one point everyone is talking except this hot brunette who looks annoyed (she has a boyfriend but seemed interested in me whenever we talked) and no one was giving her attention. I had tried to make a point to but never got the chance before we left to the next bar. At the next bar the bartender knows me and gives me a free beer, then a guy in the bathroom also knows me and offers me some of his free goods.

I go back to where my friend are and this HB7 blonde comes up to me with the sexiest fucking walk and says she knows who I am, that we went to high school together. I have no idea who this chick is and I'm really drunk - I don't remember what I said to her, really. I think I might have come off as condescending because she approached me in a high green light way and I didn't know who she was. Lost her though.

Then I ditched the girls I came with for some other coworkers who came through and they texted me angrily which I ignored. I don't remember a whole lot at the other bar either but it was fun with my coworkers. I'm really excited for this new social scene I'm gaining a place in and what lies ahead with us going out, as well as what I'll learn from hanging out with so many women all the time.


Sunday

All my girl coworkers are being touchy with me, and I noticed how often they test my frame now. It's really fun actually and I think this is great experience with frame control & shit tests. For example, I was lost in thought reminiscing about how I could have fucked this chick last night and I aloud say,

Me: Fuck.
Her: ? What's up?
Me: Just some shit from last night I just now remembered..
Me: I was hammered...
Her: Who did you fuck last night Hue? What'd you do?
Me: No it's what I didn't do.
Her: Oh. Who didn't you fuck?
Me: Some girl from my HS, I didn't know her.
Her: blah blah
Other Coworker: Haha what? (just hearing us) You were trying to fuck [first girl] last night?
Me: She wishes (;
Other Coworker: Haha ooh yeaa.
Her: Huh! Yea! I would break your fucking dick and tear it off!
Me: Awww.
Her: Blah blah I'm a crazy bitch blah
Me: Honey, that's so cute

Totally disarms her and makes her look insane. A shit test, though.

Another example,

Her: (different girl) Please please please take my close tonight Hue )))):
Me: No, I can't hun sorry.
Her: Why? What's your reason? Just take it.
Me: Internship, gotta work project.
Her: Pleeeease, I'll do anything.
Me: ...anything?
Her: Okay, well, I just can't do sexual favors while at work.
Me: But those are my favorite kind!
Her: Haha yea I know! Not that though.
Me: Ahh too bad. You know, I don't want one anyways.

Here I give her a sexual window and she takes it. Then I slightly screw up because of using the word, "but" because it makes it look as though I'm chasing her for sexual favors, so I backtrack and say. "I don't want one anyways". Not an optimal development, but these are the subtle differences that you need to get really good.

Then later on the other coworker was bringing up to me on separate occasions how:

1). It's her and her bf's 3 yr anniversary and she's pumped because she doesn't have to see her boyfriend. He's busy with some event and she sarcastically goes "oooh no, I can't make it!"
2). Her boyfriend never touches her and she loves getting her hair played with.

She's cute but a little too hefty for my taste, and not a great body shape. Point being she's dropping nuggets of information, or windows for me to dive into that could potentially end in something.

It just really seemed like today girls were testing my frame and dropping cookie crumbs of interest / touching me /etc. I even had one girl lightly push me on the wall with her hands on my shoulders and give me a super sexy look.

One thing I'm skeptical on that I did was while I was rolling silverware I had music playing and this song comes on and it's completely silent in the manager's office (it's a large office, but still) with just the kitchen manager and I in there. It's perfectly normal to be silent during silverware rolling / play music while you do it but...

This song fucking drips with sex and is about giving women orgasms. I think it's a great fucking song, but even with our backs facing each other you could feel the tension (not sexual, just TENSION). I forced myself not to change it as an experiment. Part of me also did it just to try and plant sexual seeds in her head because she's hot. I should note this isn't my main boss, but rather the kitchen's boss. There's no chance I could fuck my actual boss but because of the slight disconnect of our function I still consider it a prospect.


Tinder matched a high prospect girl who's only here for the summer. Will include texts if it turns into a LR or an interesting experience.


Other Shit

Putting together a post on my thoughts about the state of gender politics, culture, and how micro understandings of life create macro waves and influences. Too busy at the current moment to post it.