Get Pussy Or Die Tryin'

[Hue]

LR: 15 minutes at a Club


Just had a super weird Tinder date.

Matched with an Asian chick, she messaged first. One super cute picture of her and her adorable eyes. Clearly from China. Should have marked the red flag there, but responded anyway. Conversation was... confusing.. because she's not very great at english, and would often not respond to my questions with another question, where I'd go stoic or not respond. Then she asks for my number and we start texting.

I try to set up a date/time to get away from texting, and then all of a sudden she asks if I'm hungry. I was actually lol'ing at the dialogue at this point, it lacked so much focus. I take this as she wants to meet up tonight and within the next hour I'm at her apt waiting in the car.

When I see her I get out and, who could believe, she's not as cute as her 1 picture. About a 5, maybe a 4, honestly. Not a good looking girl. I hug her and she gets in. The conversation is awkward to begin with and she has strange mannerisms, so I take over the dialogue quickly and do a lot of the talking. We get to my house and listen to tunes. It did have some good moments where we'd laugh. I liked the few moments where you'd see a whisk of her culture / personality.

She wouldn't do the whole eye-contact thing. Like, she'd get so uncomfortable by eye contact with me that she'd put her hands over her eyes, or over mine. At first this was hilarious, but then it was like wow, you really can't handle any eye contact. The fuck?

Anyways we talk and I eventually say to myself "there's a girl at my house alone with me. I'm gonna have to try and fuck her".

I begin the sex talk and watch her perk up. Afterwards, a cascade of questions of if I'm a player, a "playboy", how many girls I fuck, how often I fuck, etc comes. I deflect, redirect, ignore, and exaggerate all of it and most of my answers get her laughing. All the while I slowly physically escalated to eventually engage in a pretty awkward first kiss after about 30 minutes of her being there. I pull off first, eventually go back and do some push and pull stuff until I get us into full out make out. Eventually I'm fingering her, and when back myself up to go into full "fingerblast mode" she tells me no sex. I probably could have kept going but was so meh about the whole thing I just pulled off entirely. Why bother?

She thanks me lol, and then I let things die down, try to get her to go home on her own, but eventually drive her home so I could pick up fast food on the way.

Good for reps, I guess? Idk I feel weird about engaging in that. New rule: get them to send a real time picture if her uploads aren't convincing. That way you aren't tied between being a total asshole (say I just drove away after seeing she wasn't as hot as her picture) and sticking to your standards.

 

[Hue]

Birthdays are retarded lol.

I get fired from my job to start the day, then eventually get dinner with friends. One of my dudes has been drinking for hours beforehand, and we get into a couple wrestling matches throughout the night. Apparently he came through my house to get his keys a few hours ago. Don't remember whatsoever. But, after watching this kid for long enough, I don't think he actually gives a fuck about me, or anyone that he is "tight" with, so fuck him! lolololol


But yea we get dinner then head back to my place. What's his fuck tries to fight me, then we sneak into this frat party. I'll be honest, I didn't do well with chicks. Something was bothering me. Also, my homeboy who's king of his frat let me bare witness to the realities of attraction. This dude has been bicep curling attraction for 4 years, and now that it's his final semester, you're seeing the RESULTS. We're standing there and boom, two hot chicks approach him, then 3 more, then 4 more, and suddenly we're standing there with a cloud of women.

I got nervous. I couldn't handle it, honestly! I didn't know the social circle very well, and my boy had such a tight grip on it. It's funny actually, when I get moments to talk to him about this shit. I've gotten pretty damn good at "Rogue King Cold Approach" where as he has gotten excellent at "Illustrious King Social Circle" (Hector depicted the nuances before finishing his book). Game recognize game.

So around midnight I do start vibing and I turn a lame dance floor into a lit session. In my chaos I picked up a girl on my shoulder and spun her around, people seemed to like that lol. The same girl is dating one of my best friends and she is friends with some girls. My homeboy is tryna hook me up, but I can tell they're not interested. They're gonna leave to a bar, and after getting a birthday snow shot to the face I just leave by myself to a different bar.

Hector has allowed me to review King of College (it's amazing, by the way), and I follow his rules/recommendations of going out alone. Worked LIKE A CHARM. Within 20 minutes, I'm pulling guys and girls to and from conversation, and I have my girl of interest fondling me. I would write up our entire conversation, but I was fucked up and don't remember it.

My problem happened when I tried to pull her, she was out with all of her classmates and felt obligated to stay. THEN, I made a stupid ass decision by talking to my only competition with this girl. All the guys were accounting graduate students - total fucking nerds, except for the one guy. That makes him the most dominate and leaderly of them all. Haha, actually another conflict of Rogue and Illustrious King. In my failed attempt to charm him, I lose the whole group the moment I leave to the bathroom - and thus the bitch.

I did try to go to the bar they said they were headed to. A fat bitch came onto me and then I lost my wallet lol. Found it today from the help of some stranger, thank god. I went to an after party after getting on myself about karma and a bunch of bullshit. Mostly good vibes, but some hints of weirdness for sure. It's always kinda that way with people that party form 2-6 AM.


Then this morning I woke up to a call from my mom. Got my shit for my bday figured out and then walked to pick up my wallet from the stranger. Spontaneously decided to go to a coffee shop near me, and opened two cute girls studying. I did pretty damn good. Mid way through I decide to reveal my intentions and tell one of them how cute she is. She's had a boyfriend for 5 years, so I just settle the rest of it with banter and leave. Very fun.

I'm in an extremely idgaf mood right now. Talking to people feels very enjoyable, and the subtleties of body language and communication are very prominent at the moment. Very interesting how learning works. When you study a subject for long enough, then leave and come back to the original material it reveals a totally different meaning. With the social arts, this is the same - but the cool thing is that you have a part in the "material" and have a part in manipulating it (intentionally or not).

So happy birthday me! Enjoy the fruits of the formality, despite its irrelevance to everything around you

 

[Hue]

I've been super busy, and not keeping up with my journal, and it's possible that has been a hindrance on my growth to some degree. At the same time I also have felt a growing confidence all month which was only shaken for the first time last night because I decided to hang out with a higher-status social circle which is a test of my sociability, charisma, and game.

This past weekend has been a little bender so far.

Thursday

I go out to a small rap concert and meet up with my homie in the music industry, and his friend, and HB7 who used to be his superior in the company. I'm wearing black pants and a grey + black shirt, and black shoes. My new look is a lot more dark and edgy than it used to be. When I get introduced to her, I immediately recognize the IOI's. The two of them are going on about work for a good while, and I don't get the opportunity to talk all that much. When I do I still see the IOI's popping out, but eventually they're talking so specifically about their old job I just ditch and go to the front of the crowd of fans to watch the artist.

When I come back they're separated and I talk to her one-on-one, and do a cold read about her being a more "go-getter" type of girl, and not being a pushover very often. She agrees, but then I push it in a bad direction by asking her what she thinks about feminism. I guess she went to an anti-rape rally, and isn't sure whether or not she identifies with it - I think I put her on the spot too much about a serious topic. I change the subject to her interest in music (she's a singer) then our friend comes back and we all chit chat again.

Then their favorite artist comes on and we go back to the crowd. Now the HB7 is drunk and being more open to the flirting, and there's some light touch and playing going on between me and her in between sets. Then she proposes we all get shots on her, and she starts qualifying herself a little on her musical ability (she had a feature in the instrumental playing and wanted me to know that). The artist finishes up and we head to the bar that I chose.

Once we're there we get drinks, and I flirt with some girl about harassing my friend and she opens up to me about her ex being at the bar and asks what she should do. I tell her she can A). ignore him or B). be a naughty little schemer and make him jealous. We play with the B). idea of a little while and then I eject to a different group. My buddy in the music industry tells me he wants to fuck the HB7, and that he thinks she's horny. He doesn't get laid a ton so I let him have it, which makes me more on the prowl.

I use some social proof and bounce between people - at one point getting introduced to this HB7 brunette with a black purse. My friend touches the pockets on my shirt and asks, "What the hell do you have in these???" in a joking but still challenging sort of way and I turn to the HB7 and tell her to guess. She says condoms, cigarettes, and weed. I tell her she's definitely right with one of them, then grab her purse and say "what the hell do you have in this??" in the same way as my friend. She, playing along tells me to guess. I say "grandma candies, tampons, and a huuge black dildo". She laughs and starts pulling things out and showing me what's inside, letting me hold some of the items. I put them in my pockets and she goes just to fuck with her, and low key hoping that she'll reach in my pants to grab them and accidentally grab my condom too.

A little fuzzy on the topics, but we're getting pretty damn close at the bar, and the tensions definitely there. Then I accidentally grab her tit trying to put my hand on her shoulder lol and I just go "hello" and continue as normal. She definitely liked that judging from her body language. I ask her shortly after to come get pizza with me and she says she needs to talk with her friends. Her friends are literally 6 feet from us, so I just say "okay and then we'll get that pizza" and she agrees. Then I say "okay 90 seconds, break!" and leave to the bathroom.

I don't see her when I come back and then leave to the girl I flirted with earlier. She's more engaged with me this time, and I'm lining myself up nicely to take her home. A lot of physical contact and she's showing me solid interest. Then her friends come along and break us up. They're all pretty average looking. I talk with all of them and charm two of them. Then I lose the first girl, and am there with the two I charmed. Something about the way the asian one is looking at me and the way the two of them were standing, my drunk mind conjures up "they want a threesome", and I start asking them how adventerous the two of them are. The asian looks at her friend, then looks at me, and says "we're both pretty adventurous", but the other one goes aloof, and then leaves shortly after. I had asked them if they eat haberneros, and was going to slowly build up the "adventurous" aspect until it was getting somewhere sexual. If she hadn't ejected it would have been adventurous --> sexual --> adventurous --> sexual --> etc. --> threesome.

Then some of my friends who used to play football roll in and sweep me up and we get drinks. They know the HB7 brunette with the purse, and when seeing that I knew her I say she was "grabbing on my tits earlier" and then watch her auto-reject. I think one of the guys used to fuck her or something, and then my weird chase frame being socially uncalibrated turned that opportunity off.

Eventually I say fuck it, try to bang the asian, she verbally tells me she's down, but then her friend cock blocks hard because she thinks I'm a player - I try to meet up after the bars and it fails. Oh well.


Friday

Got fucked up with my HS friends, then eventually roll to a bar and get a makeout that turns into a FU.

Right when we get to the bar I go up and see this HB7 brunette ordering drinks. She looks sad. She turns into me the same time I'm about to open her and we both say "Hi! " at the same time haha. We exchange names and she squeezes my hand. Immediate hook. I quickly find out her boyfriend just broke up with her, so she's here getting drunk with her friends and enjoying herself (aka looking for rebound dick). She had just ordered two beers, and I ask which one is mine. She says "well this was for a guy that I just made out with, but he left to go do something", so I take the beer and say "don't worry I'll fix your dilemma there" and move us to a wall.

We talk about relationships for a little bit (avoiding any negativity of it), and I frame an open-mindedness to sexual relationships and sexual liberation to some degree. Then I deep dive her (she's a video game nerd, surprisingly) and do an us VS the world frame about that and something else.. Idk I was fucked up. She ate it up though, I remember that. Pretty soon we're making out. She had pointed out the guy that she kissed before and I asked if he was a good kisser and she said no he was terrible, all while we're inching closer to eachother and then I go in for it, and pull off. After this her friend comes up to check on us and I leave a favorable impression.

Things are going great and we're vibing then out of nowhere she asks for my number. I give her an inquisitive look and say that's interesting. She wants to go back to her friends. The conversation goes something like me saying I understand the freedom in her choice but know that she'll have more fun with me. She does leave, then I come back to my friends who are salty that I ditched them.

At some point she by me and grabs my hand again, with her friend from earlier with her, looking at me a little more skeptically now. My friends are all fucking around and flirting with the bartender, and chirping the bouncers lol honestly being a little too provocative. Great times though. At some point I realize my mistake in giving her my number instead of the other way around and leave to find her. I find her friends, and then realize I don't know her fucking name anymore - but somehow remember her friends'.

Me: Hey [girl], where'd she go?
Her: Where'd who go? *other friend jumps in looking at my sooo skeptically*
Me: ....
Her: You forgot her name, didn't you?
Me: Yea.
Her: Okaaaay gooodbyeeee.
Other friend: *bitchy nonsense*
Me: Hold on. I remember your name which she said a couple times. We exchanged names once when we first started talking.
My bad. Could you remind me what it is?

This calms the friend (leader) down a bit, and then I talk to her and her boyfriend some. Turns out the other friend is bisexual and likes the HB7, and she's is also bisexual. Then I say THE STUPIDEST SHIT.

Boyfriend: Hey man haha I mean you could always go for the threesome
Me: Haha! I mean it wouldn't be the first time
Friend: Oooooh. You're soo gooood dude.
Friend: Hey, you should go talk to her though

I go over to her and talk to her, and she's more drunk than she was before. The other friend comes over and spits bitchy nonsense at me, and then all of a sudden the leader friend just goes, "Hue, you can leave now. Cya! Leave." and then all the guys they're with start hooting and hollering for me to leave. I turn to the HB7 and say, "well it looks like I'm being asked to leave. you take care though." and then blow a kiss to the crowd of drunk motherfuckers before going down the stares with a smirk.

Then we went to some club and I blacked. Only interaction I remember was this HB8 from last year (my friend's little sister) comes up to all my friends and is complaining about this guy that's creeping on her and apparently threatening her. We don't pay much attention to it, telling her that it will be fine. Right at the end she says to me "he knows that I live in [dorm]" and then ejects. I think she just wanted attention, honestly. But I could be wrong and maybe it is something serious. Fingers crossed the alcohol didn't cloud my judgement that severely.


Saturday

I meet up with my friend who I haven't seen for months. He's a player who pulls some real high quality chicks. Same guy that I was with when my ego got ripped in half last year. I just got clothes for my bday and was looking like a boss. Black bomber, red + black grain undershirt, black jeans. We pregame at my house then hit a bar, talking with some people in line. Things were going pretty well, and we find his friends at the bar, then uber to another, older, and higher quality bar. At some point my boy stops answering me when I ask him questions. Like, not giving me even cordial attention. It kind of fucked with me, because it made me feel like my questions weren't worth his time or something. This became even more noticeable with his friends at the bar, because now I'm an outsider. So I was in a weird space of "make new friends" which I'm normally pretty good at doing and "don't overstep your space - respect the fact you're an outsider". A lot of cognitive dissonance. By the end I had made connections with a few fellows, but some of the guys were still aloof to me as fuck.

I approached a couple girls at the bar, but they had boyfriends who were there with them. I saw a total smokeshow latina, but had too much anxiety to approach, given my circumstance. When we were leaving we started talking to this MILF about Brazilian wax treatment for like 20 minutes, invited her to an after party, but she declined.

From being around guys that were older, more social adept, pulled solid chicks, were well dressed (high social status crowd), I was able to watch them though which is a positive from the experience. I realized that, while I've gotten a lot better at picking up on SUBTLEY, these dudes are even better than I thought possible. Their EQ's are high as fuck.


Dominant guys that know how to work conversation, subtler facial expressions, simple verbal communication, "fun" topics, subtler body language, money, and don't easily hand out respect. And most of them are good at reading all of those thing too.


So for me, a dude that's used to hanging out with frats (top tier, sure, but still a very different space), the difference between quality and value becomes much more apparent. These dudes are high quality guys, and it can apply basically anywhere they go. Frats earn value because of what's expected in greek life, and there's a much longer timeline to build up value. Quality assumes value, basically. But value is subject to it's arena, whereas quality is not.

I'll probably ghost for a bit, maybe go out alone in some of these venues for a few weeks and learn the arts before hanging out with those guys again. Oh, and I lost my debit card, so I was a financial burden the entire time. If I go to chill with them again I'm gonna need to make up for that.

 

[Hue]

January 2018 Summary

New year new me. Lol bullshit. New year, more refined me. Since transferring schools one of my main internal battles was merging the reckless asshole of my freshman and sophomore years with the more focused worker of my HS, junior and senior years. I'm getting close at the balancing act, and it all has to do with maintenance.

January has been a great month for me on a psychological level at least. Stressful, but the better I become at being adaptable and accepting my present situations, the easier the stress is to deal with. If you're not breaking through barriers and having cognitive dissonance to some degree, you're probably not doing anything worth while.

January Goals

Diet - Increase caloric intake to 3200-3400 a day. Plan daily meals / use Notes app for calorie counting on the fly.

Exercise - Alpha Lion Workout. After Week 1 (starting 1/3 --> 1/10) make goal for end of the month (1/24 --> 1/31) for EXACT weight gains. Also, take 1.5 hour's for each workout. MAKE THE TIME. It's hard for you to put on muscle, and these long workouts are the most rewarding.

Finances - 30 * Number Weekly Shifts --> Savings Account, so that's 12-15 * 30 = 360-400 Dollars Saved in January. Before going to tables, try to switch on your genuinely friendly mode, instead of relying on fake smiles and bullshit.

Education - Finish The Alchemist, Maps of Meaning, and What Every BODY is saying by 1/31 (a book a week, but with the semester starting I'll knock off one. Plus Maps of Meaning is quite dense). Assign EXACT times for Internships, Research Labs, Library Study Times, and Classes in schedule. Take 30 minutes - 1 hour ON of work, and 15 minutes - 30 minutes OFF for break. No going home unless the schedule has been fulfilled.

Drinking - Pick 1 weekend day (Friday or Saturday) and one weekday (Tuesday or Thursday) to go out IF you have a desire to. Don't go out, to go out. Ask yourself, "Am I feeling extraverted?", "Do I have obligations this gets in the way of?", "Will I feel good about this tomorrow?"

Approaches - Technician ebook, followed to a T. Try out some new things at work as outlined by weekly schedule.

Diet: 7/10 - I have been eating a lot more food, and most of it has been protein. I didn't hit 3400 calories a day, and only did that on days that I worked out - but I have been eating much healthier.

Exericse 7/10 - I hit my mark and exceeded some of my marks on how much weight I'll be putting up. I worked out 4/7 days of the week almost every week. I could be better, though. I stay up to late, so I'm gonna start slowly fixing my schedule to go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, and work out before class. Then I can even fit in two-a-days if I find myself with more time! I got in 2 two a days this month, and felt the most sore afterwards, so that's good.

Finances 4/10 I got fired because of corporate policy, and don't have good cash flow right now. I applied to 2 places and am waiting to hear back. Just filled out another application, after writing that. While I didn't "Save 400 dollars", I do now have a 40 deposit to the savings every two weeks, and I make it 100 when I have financial freedom for the week.

Education 7/10 I read the Alchemist and What every BODY is saying. Maps of Meaning is literally a textbook, and I have too much going on write now to tackle it. After my immediate obligations (homework, work projects, exercise) then I will make time for that. I've been watching lots of Jordan Peterson's lectures in my free time (post work out / after class pre nap), and they've been both motivational and insightful - I love that man. My grades are all still A's a month into the semester, and I got an A- on my first exam

Drinking 5/10 I only went out 2 nights a week, for 3 of the weeks of Jan. My excuse for the first week was, fuck it, it's the first week, and this most recent week because I was just really feeling extraverted. I browned out twice, and actually don't remember going home once. So.. while I got better at FOMO, I still drink a lot when I'm out.

Approaches 5/10 While I do feel more socially confident, and my hooking points with girls at bars are better than they were in December, I abandoned the e-book after a few days. I just have too much going on to take that seriously right now. If I can get all of my goals into habbits, and THEN I still have time, I'll make a slot for the e-book. Taking this off the final score.


I'm confident in the classroom, and Hector's "being dumb" serious has been very eye opening for me. I'll admit it, I'm bitter towards dumb guys that get what I want. I think too much, and it paralyzes me. Because of an innate desire to want to be able to do it all (be successful but not work hard, be smart but be cool, get good grades but party all the time) I kind of go on sprees of specific things I want. Like I'll be studios as fuck until I actually feel smarter because I can unload a mental paragraph during an argument - or I'll go out a shit ton and shotgun approach until I feel comfortable / fuck chicks / make new friends. But when I get into my studios as fuck mode, I become blind to the possible condescending and critical nature that goes along with it. To me, being dumb or choosing ignorance (two different things) seems like betrayal of the truth, which gives me a complex about both adhering to who's actually correct and whether or not who's correct matters. It makes being adaptable more difficult because it conflicts with internal principle - and when I'm trying to apply certain principles to certain situations, the incongruency of those is both a mental hurdle for me and off-putting to others.

Nonetheless, I'm trying to simplify myself to speak on everyone's level. It's tough for me though, but I'm trying. I love the abstract and the nuance, and for me to delve into the simplification of shit just to get what I want is frustrating.


The date with Saleswomen was bad on my part because I...

- talked about myself too much (which turned into me qualifying myself)
- tripped and fucked up the sexual energy
- got embarrassed about tripping
- didn't go for her pussy when I had my hands inside her pants behind her ass
- didn't whip it out
- gave her the satisfaction of saying I enjoyed myself
- said something that alluded toward future plans (very unattractive)

So don't do those things. Badbadnotgood.

Everything building up to that was good though. For example,

Paying Attention to Instinct

My shift is almost over and I see a short, pretty blonde with a nice booty walking out the building. I stop and get her attention and catch a sparkle in her eye when we connect. Almost immediately I know that she's interested. I smile at her with a wave and say "excuse me", and she changes directions then works around a guy in front of her to get close to me.

I pitch her the line we all have to use, and see I have her full attention. This is rare for busy campus students with volunteer desks, we live on a very large campus and most have a ways to go before their classes. So, I get to her side and show her the flyer, using incidental touch with our bodies and our hands as I guide her through the pitch.

Then I back off, and ask if she can fill out the signature / survey. She's smiling at me now and agrees. As she fills it out I ask her how her day has been going. She finishes, then just stands there, with her body facing me, smiling, and we engage in small talk. I tell her how I love watching people walk by the stand, with all of their different emotions, and how their facial expressions rapidly change once my coworker and I start talking to them. Very interesting to me. I can feel myself getting excited (a little bit of blood started filling my pecker).

Dealing With a Shit Tests

Her: Umm. I don't know about that. How about another time?
Me: We could do that another time. No biggie if we don't. We could also sit here for a bit longer and you can enjoy your tea *sips coffee, turns body slightly away and looks away*
Her: Oh, umm, okay.

I lead conversation back into a thread from earlier (she mentioned she traveled abroad) and ask her where else. About a minute in she stops (my body language is still kind of turned off from her, she's probably feeling the withdrawal) and says, "hey! actually, we could do that today" with somewhat a worried look on her face. I smile nonchalantly and go okay, we will then, and continue the conversation.

...

We get to my house and I throw on music. I kiss her a few minutes into it after she shows me pictures on her phone and I tease her about it. A minute or so after I pull off, she asks me the famous, "do you ask a lot of girls you meet to get coffee?". I chuckle and say "every one that I meet", and she's giddy. I bring up the sparkle in her eye when she was walking bye, which charms the shit out of her. We kiss a little bit more then I pull off again.

Now shes showing me music (the stuff she has sex to). I find out she loves MDMA (not surprising with the music choice). So she's a party chick! I wouldn't have guessed at all first talking with her. I ask her, "if we hadn't had any obligations, and I asked you to get coffee right then and there, what would you have said?". She gives me a great smile and says she definitely would have came with. I ask her if she gives a fuck about the stupid shit people let get in the way of what she wants and she says usually not. I go in for a kiss again, and it quickly turns into a makeout. Pretty soon she's on top of me and grinding on my dick.

Rule of thumb for Tinder

Good for reps, I guess? Idk I feel weird about engaging in that. New rule: get them to send a real time picture if her uploads aren't convincing. That way you aren't tied between being a total asshole (say I just drove away after seeing she wasn't as hot as her picture) and sticking to your standards.

Don't let other guys take what's yours

My problem happened when I tried to pull her, she was out with all of her classmates and felt obligated to stay. THEN, I made a stupid ass decision by talking to my only competition with this girl. All the guys were accounting graduate students - total fucking nerds, except for the one guy. That makes him the most dominate and leaderly of them all. Haha, actually another conflict of Rogue and Illustrious King. In my failed attempt to charm him, I lose the whole group the moment I leave to the bathroom - and thus the bitch

Also, I'm not Rogue King - and I feel that referring to myself as that isn't appropriate. I'm trying to become a Sigma male. I'd say my mindset is almost that of one, but my results and outcome independence are not. I've been called a lone wolf by many, I live alone, I mostly walk to my own beat, and don't like listening to authority. But I also feel like being all "I'm an Alpha" or "I'm a Sigma" and "you're a beta bitch" are total manosphere fuckboyisms that are simply repellent to those outside the sphere.

I would review this weekend, but there's enough in there to get the picture.

1). Didn't move the girls enough / establish true hooking points with them
2). Didn't deal with cockblocks appropiately
3). Am not as socially calibrated as I'd like myself to believe
4). Displayed my inner fuckboy a bit too much





So in January I got a 35/50 score. 70%. Solid.

15 Minutes At a Club

One Lay, 1 hook-up (saleswoman) 1 make-out, 2 kisses, 1 date, probably.. 6 numbers.
My main area of growth this month has been emotional stability and reading people, I'm okay with the low numbers. February coming soon.

 

[Ambiance]

Re: January 2018 Summary

What up Hue-

You're doing a great job tracking your progress. Definitely was inspired about by your journal with how I'm conducting mine. Rating each of your categories is a sound idea. Dude, you're gonna have months where you hit 45+, just keep going!

I was pretty bitter about dumb guys having an "advantage" for awhile too. One way I reconciled this is learning that the guys who run the best dumb game are actually wicked sharp. And you can certainly let your intelligence shine through later. You can awe the pants off girl, once you've established that you're a dominant, primal guy and you've already fucked her or she's already decided she wants you, by showcasing some of your intellect. Not all girls care about intelligence, but when you're using your intellect to be 5 steps ahead of everyone girls will be a little intimidated (and very wet). The key is "winning", or dominating, not just having a beautiful mind.

With smarter/nerdy girls, you can hit attainability out of the park by coming across at the start as dumb and like a bro, and at the right time reveal that you have to dumb yourself down around all your friends and that you're actually quite smart. If she's attracted she'll swoon.

Keep it up brother!!

Ambiance

 

[Hue]

Ambiance,

I was pretty bitter about dumb guys having an "advantage" for awhile too. One way I reconciled this is learning that the guys who run the best dumb game are actually wicked sharp. And you can certainly let your intelligence shine through later. You can awe the pants off girl, once you've established that you're a dominant, primal guy and you've already fucked her or she's already decided she wants you, by showcasing some of your intellect. Not all girls care about intelligence, but when you're using your intellect to be 5 steps ahead of everyone girls will be a little intimidated (and very wet). The key is "winning", or dominating, not just having a beautiful mind.

With smarter/nerdy girls, you can hit attainability out of the park by coming across at the start as dumb and like a bro, and at the right time reveal that you have to dumb yourself down around all your friends and that you're actually quite smart. If she's attracted she'll swoon.

Thanks for the reply bro.


I do hang around with a good amount of "primal", fratty guys, and can honestly say that some of them are just playing dumb because of the very advantage low expectations gives them. They're smarter than they act/look.

My problem, especially from my pre-GC days is actually acting in a way that accomplishes this. I'm somewhat of a sapiosexual (I'm attracted to intelligence), but I can name a number of smart girls that picked the muscular "dick with legs" dummy over me - so this has jaded me. I thought that they, as smart, nerdy chicks, would find just as much attraction to intelligence that I did. Not at all the case.

Hector's article series reminded me of the game that "dummies" are playing and why being smart doesn't amount to anything if you don't wield your intelligence gracefully / use it in an understandable way. But like I said it's actually applying that understanding that's my very problem a lot of times - and I can get too caught up in idea rather than action. I need to remind myself that I'm smarter than the dumbo's, and if I want to learn their game, I know I have the intelligence to learn how to.

Chase's recent article, in addition to the idea of creating the contrast between whatever type of game the competition is doing reminds me that I've got a higher affinity to gain the skills/traits that women find attractive that our more primal friends might more or less clueless about, and can run a different, more adaptive kind of game than them.


Anyways (before I do exactly what I'm talking about and ramble about ideas for 6 pages), action action action --> results.


I'm in a bit of an obligation-scramble right now, but once I find some peace from all that I'm gonna start really writing down my observations and interactions more and start coming up with precise ways I could do XYZ. I appreciate the comments and inspiration man!

Hue

 

[Hue]

Decided to go out tonight because fuck it + no fap got me horny as shit.

Also had a major realization early today when flirting with my coworkers that girls are soooooooo mendable with emotion. You as a man, need to figure out how to control your emotion, AND THEN USE THE PROPER EMOTION FOR THE PROPER SITUATION. RECEPTIVE BITCH --> HYPE THAT BITCH UP AND FLIRT WITH HER AND THEN PUT YOUR DICK IN HER.


So I text Lipstick today (out of hornyness),

Me: hey Lipstick with the lipstick [lolololol she has a name], this is Hue (cute blonde guy) from a few weeks back, you busy?
Her: Hey! I'm actually at the gym right now

1.5 hours later

Me: (deciding to mix up my texting and be a little bolder than usual) niccee, get after it. if you're free later tonight let's grab a drink and chat

3.5 hours later

Her: I actually have plans to go out tonight already
Me: sall good I made other plans, have a good time
Her: Yeah you too!

I have a hunch as to what bar she's going to, and text by buddy, let's call him FlatBill if he's going out (he always wants to go out on Tuesdays). He does, and we meet up at my house for a drink before heading out.

Turns out he just broke up with his girlfriend so I'm not surprised he wants to go get after it. But, this ends up being a major spear in my game, my pull, and other things...

Anyways we get there and talk, the bar actually looks pretty dead for a good bit. We're posted up at a spot and, what do you know! Out pops Lipstick and her friend! I laugh to myself then move my friend and I to a more approachable spot. They end up hovering around us in like 10 minutes, so I open them with tapping her on the opposite shoulder (now one of my favorite moves).

We make banter about how we both made other plans, and for the rest of the time there is a chase frame war about who is stalking who. I say this is our date, now that we're here, and she accepts the frame. I "win" it, but then she keeps bringing up the chase frame war, something that flirty girls tend to do. This girl is a total flirt, which makes it hard for me to distinguish if she actually wants the D or not.

After... 3-4 minutes of this, and me introducing FlatBill to them, I decided to remove Lipstick and I from the situation. We go over to the other corner of the bar, and to my surprise there's a bouncer doing shit with them AND FUCK I JUST REALIZED I COULD HAVE FUCKED HER

So she starts asking me, seeing the somewhat confused look on my face with the bartender there, "do you have a plan? I thought you had a plan." And I tell her "yea... hold on" probably with a little too much hesitation, and ask the bouncer if he's occupying the table. He's not and we sit down, and I tell her to move closer to me. I should have escalated more from here but kept it to light touch and some leg locking.

She immediately presents a frame that we have 5 minutes. That this is "my chance". And I laugh at her, because this is such an obvious shit test. But, I still respect it by saying we have a "speed date" for the sake of humor, which cooould have been avoided.

Actually, fuck, I should have made her "my girl" after we came back to the group but..

Okay so I deep dive to the best I can for the circumstance, but I can tell that I'm not hitting the right targets. This girl has something, deep, deep, in her that she wants to tell guys so that they'll understand her, but I'm not hitting the right topic to open that canister up.

We have a fun banter about age, but then I don't take it back to deep diving appropriately. I also wasn't sexual enough verbally and relied on fundamentals and light physical touch rather than ramping shit up.

So we get back to the group and FlatBill is actually making the chick laugh, but when I listen to their conversation its mostly him talking about beer + some story from karaoke and I get the vibe her friend is being polite, and that Lipstick feels the same way.

I take the reigns of the conversation and Lipstick jumps in again about our chase frame war as to who is "stalking who" because now she claims to recognize FlatBill. FlatBill weighs in how he also recognizes her, and its' been months apparently of this going on, rather than Lipstick and I's "couple months". Different bar names come up. One bar just got shut down and converted into another one, and I ask if the new one is as cool as the first.

Lipstick is talking about all the different bars (party girl loves to talk about what the bars are like no way) and I decide to bring up the fact that my friend and I had a concert at X bar. Then FlatBill comes in and starts qualifying me about the event, and both the girls now want me to rap. I don't rap for people if I don't feel like it, and I didn't feel like it - then FlatBill says that my first 5 lines are the only good ones anyways (in detail, lol not just like how I put it) and I laugh like "yea dude, my lines suck after that!". This was a bad move in context, because the girls have no idea as to whether or not I'm actually good or not (... and well... (; ), and I just except the frame. But wtf FlatBill? lol why did you say that.

After this Lipstick starts saying shit like "yea! you need to rap TO PROVE YOURSELF TO ME!" and I just give her "lol wut" face before she pushes more then I tell her I don't rap unless I feel like it.

Then I feel that I need to get FlatBill out of the situation (partly selfishness, partly the fact that he's ruining the vibe I was presenting... I'm honestly better at solo than I am wingmaning), and see some people I know off in the distance, then start talking to him about the people. The group breaks in two, and I tell them I'll be back and leave.

I introduce my homie to the guys I know, and talk to them about xyz, talk to their girls, all good social proof and preselection. Right after this a bunch of people show up I know, which was fucking great social proof wise. Unfortunatley there weren't that many bitches out ):

I decide to pop back over to Lipstick, who's not at a table alone. I can't remember the dialogue exactly, but right after I got there FlatBill showed up, then Lipstick try to outframe eachother as to who is getting who a shot, and I eventually try to say fuck it, let's go, come on now (I was gonna get her a shot of water, then maybe a real one) and SHE WON'T BUDGE.

So I ditch and make friends with friends of friends for a good 20, because fuck you bitch.

When I am ready to comeback, I'm exiting a long conversation to FlatBill about his ex, about moving forward, about how no one is there to talk to, how the world is a cruel and lonely place, but how you can find meaning, hope, messages, and connection in this dark place we inhabit.

When I get there they're with one guy. I open her friend, who is looking sad, and I tease her like a dumby and get a bitchy response. So I recognize the stupidity of my actions and pop to Lipstick who is giving me shit about leaving the way I did.

SO I GET THIS MENTAL CONFLICT OF INVESTMENT WITHOUT COMPLIANCE AND PERSISTANCE FUCK LOLOL

Okay but I tell her about FlatBills break up, and boom, another guy sits down (they're now in pairs, and I'm intruding). She says that maybe we can do this another time (which might have been a shit test.... hard for me to tell now), and I push once more for compliance, get rejected, and flirt a bit more (which she flirted back to) and then finally leave.

Fin.


Man, I missed writing FR's...


Maybe next tuesday.

 

[Hue]

Review of last night's drunk FR

Also had a major realization early today when flirting with my coworkers that girls are soooooooo mendable with emotion. You as a man, need to figure out how to control your emotion, AND THEN USE THE PROPER EMOTION FOR THE PROPER SITUATION. RECEPTIVE BITCH --> HYPE THAT BITCH UP AND FLIRT WITH HER AND THEN PUT YOUR DICK IN HER.

A while back I wrote about how entering girls frames and enjoying the vibe with them was really showing for me. It had been dampened, but now it's reemerging - and I'm focusing on getting that rather than think of techniques or routines.

It is you creating the vibe, after entering the woman's bubble, then steering that vibe to sex that is seduction.



My friend, FlatBill is not a very high value guy when it comes to girls at the moment. He's banged about 5? chicks, and his ex girlfriend, honestly was low hanging fruit - and now he's wallowing in self-pity and self-hate. I noticed his vibe was not his usual and tried my best to get him socially geared up, since we were after all going out - and the best remedy for break ups is sex.

We make banter about how we both made other plans, and for the rest of the time there is a chase frame war about who is stalking who. I say this is our date, now that we're here, and she accepts the frame. I "win" it, but then she keeps bringing up the chase frame war, something that flirty girls tend to do. This girl is a total flirt, which makes it hard for me to distinguish if she actually wants the D or not.

Girls that are massive flirts are a challenge and that's in part why I didn't auto-reject her at several points in the night. The game you have to play is an advanced push-pull, where you'll probably have to eject a few times, and show many mixed messages. But above all you have to lead when you're expected to lead.

After... 3-4 minutes of this, and me introducing FlatBill to them, I decided to remove Lipstick and I from the situation.

I do that here which is good, but then I hesitated after seeing the table wasn't open, which was my first hit of lowered value.

She immediately presents a frame that we have 5 minutes. That this is "my chance". And I laugh at her, because this is such an obvious shit test. But, I still respect it by saying we have a "speed date" for the sake of humor, which cooould have been avoided.

While I can't think of something better I could have said, this gives the situation a less than optimal frame because it's expected to be short lived - plus I could have gotten way more done if I'd had more time. The deep dives can't really happen unless you have more time to delve in the topic, usually. When she did want to leave back to the group, I treated it like, "yea, lets go".

Actually, fuck, I should have made her "my girl" after we came back to the group but..

This is the frame I should have pushed. Me and her merging into our own bubble - and ditching my friend (or assuming he was good with her friend... which while unlikley judging by their body language could have been done). At the very least, doing this would have set me up for later - even if her friend ultimately was a legit reason she had to not come home with me.

I say this both in a analytical sense, and in my memory of her saying "Oh my god I don't even know what he's going for at this point" after the groups split in two. Because she agreed to move with me, she liked my dominance and leading, and I just didn't focus in on HER. Instead I spread my attention to the whole group dynamic, which more or less had already been dealt with.

That was my most fatal mistake. The rest of the time it was just shit tests and frame battles, which I won a couple and she won a couple. And, this girl being a flirt, might have even been using me as a value booster.

I DID almost salvage it when I found her alone at a table, but then I broke circle yet again - shortly after this I ejected, and when I came back two dudes had landed them at a table looking totally capable (or maybe I'm wrong, and they were just using them for drinks )

The only way I could salvage it now is by ghosting her then sparking it up in a week or two, OR take full advantage of the value I have with her and totally ditch my friends to fuck her when I see her out (which I will).

SO I GET THIS MENTAL CONFLICT OF INVESTMENT WITHOUT COMPLIANCE AND PERSISTANCE FUCK LOLOL

Lol. Yea ain't that a bitch. Push and lead till you get resistance, then back off / eject before trying again.


Takeaways:

- Don't get distracted
- Lead as much as possible, then back of / eject and come back if she's resisting
- Focus on your guys' bubble once she's hooked - as if it's just you two and no one else



I still don't know what to do about the rapping thing though... I might post in general about that.



Also, with the dudes I ran into, one of which is that high value guy from the weekend, I'm gonna call him Roach, rolled into the bar late and shit faced, and kissed me on the cheek. That dude is a lunatic when he's fucked up lol I fucking love it. I got the financial shit covered and befriend most everybody he was with. One guy that showed me no respect last weekend was there, and I made no attempt to talk with him. I'm not gonna chase his attention because he's in a dope scene - but I will learn the skills to handle people in higher value social circles.

 

[Hue]

Ex-Coworker

I'm walking into my research lab and out jumps this hot hostess I used to work with. We hug, I explain I got fired, and briefly talk about her internship. I feel like she's about to leave, and say, a little too quickly, "you wanna get coffee sometime?" and she says "yes! we should! you have my number" and begins leaving. I poke her hand and say "yes. I. doo... I'll text you " and we part ways. The old lady next to us laughed.

I texted her 2 hrs later and haven't heard back yet.. not sure.


Research Participant

I feel a connection with a girl in the study immediately. While the measurement device is being prepared, I write my name on a piece of paper and stick it in her hole for her arm coat. There was no other way I could have reached out given my circumstance. I wonder if she even saw it lol. I pray to god that it didn't fall out and my boss finds it - somehow pinning it to me. That would be fuuucked.


Interview

I had an interview for a job offering today. When the two girls (pretty damn hot) asked me why I was interested in their company, about 10 minutes in, I flat out tell them, "well, I was just about to leave the career fair, and I saw a bunch of people at your stand. And, there were a ton of cute girls there, so I haaad to go over to you guys", and they both laugh and get all giddy. Might have cost me the interview, but lol I would do it again.


I think I'm gonna go out tonight... but this will be breaking my drinking rule since I'm definitely going out this weekend. So to control for that if I do go out every other drink will be a water with a garnish.

 

[Hue]

Typed up my whole night after I got home, and in an effort to save it in case the server timed out (copy & paste) I deleted all of it. Drunk Hue was not happy and went to bed after.

Let's try again...


I'm throwing out names like candy in this one, because after looking at my FR's I just say my "buds, dudes, friends", and I'm trying to mimic Narrow J's writing and Hector's writing in KOC by assigning fake names to groups and people.

I meet up with my homie who texted me about going out. He's recovered from his addiction, but still can be a pain to go out with because of his neediness. He's also an introvert so he's not very into socializing on the level that I do when I go out. He also has insecurity about his game (which he doesn't really have) - so wingmanning is not really an option.

Lol why did I go out with him, then?

Idk we're tight, and I was gonna go out alone anyways.. so, it didn't hurt I guess.


We get to the bar and I get rushed by some dudes I know in a lower-status social circle. I hate referring to the social ladder like that, so I'm gonna call them the Lobsters (lol). I introduce my buddy and chat with them, getting a couple drinks and giving my friend shit. I was with one dude, Tuna, last thursday and let him have his girl that he thought he'd be closing with. He invited her home, and after he tried to bust a move at his apartment, she drove home.

If I had to guess what happened was I had her interested / excited, he thought the interest was geared towards him, and decided to go for it. So if I see her again I'll go for it, sorry Tuna. My old friend, King Krab (lol I'm in a silly mood with this fucking names) rolls up and we embrace. His girlfriend is there and he like fake-reintroduces me to her and I grab her hand and "dance" with her while talking to him. I turn to her and say "[girlfriend]! Your moves have gotten way better!" and she minunderstands me. I think she thinks I said "boobs" or "mood", because she just stares at me blankly.

I soon after eject and find another group I hang out with, the Shithouses, who have their own table and they welcome me warmly. These dudes hang out with their high-school friend group a little too much for my taste, but the chicks they bring in are hot.. so what eva. I introduce my friend and ball with them for a good bit. This girl approaches us and talks shit about our hockey team. I flirt/fuck with her and vibes are good - but she's not that great looking and eventually leaves on her own anyway.

Then I see a girl who I went on a date with last year. We lock eyes and I approach. I thought that I met her on Tinder, and stumble in conversation a litte bit about this, then rework it in and flirt with her. Her friend is hotter than her and I have her introduce me, and the bitch starts talking to me verbally and with sign-language. Wtf lol. I leave shortly after because that's just weird.

After returning to the Shithouses, I see my old coworker staring at me across the bar - with a sexy look in her eye. When I go up to her and talk though, the conversation doesn't get lifted up off the ground, and she's not reciprocating very much so I leave. Then I see my other old coworker, with the Asian girl I fucked in November? AWTHT. I talk to my coworker and shoot the shit - but she too, isn't very giving me that much back. I want to fuck AWTHT again, so suggesting shots seemed like a good idea until her ugly friend comes in and is like "Shots??? Shots??? Yea!!! Go get us shots!!!" and I start being an asshole, laughing at her, and saying I"ll get shots for the two other girls but not her. This eventually dissolves and no one comes with me up to the bar.

I do a lap and come back to the Shithouses, and there's a new cute girl at the table in a red dress. I start talking to her, find out she's a freshman who just rushed one of my favorite sororities on campus. Things start getting fuzzy here, but we start talking about 50 shades of gray! So I'm thinking its on, and our legs are touching. I tell her that I skimmed through it and it didn't seem enough like real life - which I think she took the wrong way. I should have phrased it like, "I skimmed through it.. having fun like that is much more.. sensual/enjoyable in real life". Instead I presented a negative frame about it. I asked what her favorite part of the book is and she wouldn't give me much.

Then at some point we stopped with the locked legs, and we didn't join back together. Things almost entirely fall off after this and I"m at a loss for words thereafter.

Some other bitch comes up and I try talking with her. Things start well, then fall off - no hook. She just wasn't interested.


I leave the table and shotgun approach a few times - each time a friend of the girl either cockblocks or shit test me and my drunk ass fails. I post up at the bar, and this HB7 is there looking drunk. She turns up and looks at me, and her eyes are filled with sex. I say "hello" with a smile and she pushes her body into me. Without thinking, I grab her ass and it's very nice.

But then I back off, her still leaning into me and tell her, "Look, I'd love nothing more than to slam my cock into you and fuck your brains out, but you're too drunk" which just gets her even hornier. Not 2 seconds later, one friend comes up to me and distracts me on my right while two of her friends come to both of her sides and eject her. From their perspective, the execution of removing her friend was masterful. Really, well done. But I wasn't going to do anything with her - and now I'm looking like a creepy guy trying to bang drunk chicks because I grabbed her ass.

To make things worse this group (full of hot chicks, btw) is friends with King Krab's girlfriend. Hella negative preselection and social value, sweet.

If there were any other approaches, they weren't worth mentioning. Oh, my coworker told me after I saw her again that AWTHT has a boyfriend now "and I should stop trying". Tight!


Really an awful night if you think about it lol. My vibe must have been off - that and I probably didn't follow Chase's most recent article to the best degree.


I've noticed, though.. that Bundle, Stripes, AWTHT, Spunky, and maybe a few others? all got boyfriends shortly after I fucked them. Right now I need to focus on getting my dick as wet as possible, but fuck, I really have to work on holding onto these girls. I think it's an attainability problem.

 

[Hue]

Friday night was a good time..

My HS friend (Keith) and I take advantage of the stellar weather and go to hang with my buddy's frat, the SweetBros. We hang outside a little bit before our homie Juggler decides we should go up to this girl's room and hang with her. Just us 3 dudes and her, it was an interesting and insightful time. Watching Juggler run circles on this girl with conversation all while provoking sexual frames and plant seeds for her friends was insightful. The girl asked him at one point, "how many of my friends have you fucked??" because the dude is a decently big player. In some senses, I'd call him a King, or at least a Prince.

I have Hector's rhetoric and vernacular running through my brain nonstop since I've been sick as a dog all day and not doing anything besides lying in bed, reading King of College and texting chicks lol.

Anyways we fuck around there and then go to a bar with all SweetBros and girls that they hang out with. I don't know a whole lot of people there but make a few friends, and disregard some super aloof guys that I tried to talk with. I stupidly mistook this one girl for my homie's sister a few times, and assumed she was teasing me when she gave me a different name - probably confused her a good bit but lol oh well. I'll fix that next I see her.

We get invited to go to another SweetBro's house, and this kid there does the weirdest shit to me. He's fucked up as shit, and apparently has been railing snow and pounding drinks for the past 4 hours. He comes up to me like "hey man! long time no see dude! I missed you!" and I don't really recognize him - but (and literally just like my buddy Juggler was doing to people at the bar last week) go along with it anyways. Not enough to fabricate some backstory, but I assumed that we'd hung out fucked up at a SweetBro party before.

Everyone migrates to a sorority annex, where things become a little more fun but a little weirder too. The kid I just mentioned is throwing out snow for everyone, and me, not knowing him, feel like I should throw him some bones for it. And, somehow, the kid decides that everyone BESIDES ME, gets some, after I make this gesture. Like I wasn't accepting his friendliness or something? I was paying into social value exchange rather than altruism? Idk. So weird though, after the way he'd been treating me up until this point.

So I say okay, fuck that, and hop over to another part of the room Juggler is at. He introduces me to this girl, Cali, and we immediately hit it off. We're talking to eachother in spanish, which Juggler doesn't know so he ejects. Then something comes up about sex and within 2 minutes of meeting eachother I've moved to to a couch with her on my lap talking about sex.

She asks for my number because she has a date party later, and I say something along the lines of "well we're already here together now aren't we?" but probably should have played it cool her to not be too excited with the prospect of sex. She says she has some margaritas in the fridge and we go to the kitchen. There's no one in there besides us, so I decide to go for a kiss and get a head turn, but she didn't do it in the rudest way. Kind of like "I want to but eeeeh I can't".

Later on my buddy Keith, now snowed up, confronts Juggler on "not being a good enough friend" to me and him. It was super entitled. Like, Juggler has a ton of shit going for him, and we still hang out somewhat regularly. "Don't get upset just because you're not getting the attention from him that you want, him having other friends and social scenes isn't betrayal, bro".

I'll admit, I still do have some external validation problems, but after seeing my friend act in the way he did, I saw the full picture of why I shouldn't do that type of shit. I do tell Juggler to not bullshit us though and be upfront if he's going to be doing other shit and that we can handle it. Juggler and Keith both compromise and Juggler goes onto thank me for mediating the conversation, saying "I should write a book" lol you flattering motherfucker. I practically took that straight form Hector, that's pretty hilarious.

Then some guys' girlfriend asks me to come sit with her, so I do (even though it's a oneseater) and we talk about almost nothing, so I leave, and then have a frat bro come up to me and confront me about trying to get with someone's girlfriend. Holy hell frat dudes, relax.

With these two things going on, and Cali no longer being there, I leave to another party Tuna had just texted me about. Not many girls there, and I basically was just a blacked douchebag smoking kids in beer pong and talking mad shit. Cali texted me but in my drunkedness I don't respond accordingly. Hindsight she wanted pipe. I'll set something up this week after Valetines day.

I do leave to some bars with Tuna and he's practically asking me to coach him. In my drunked stupor I tell him he reminds me of me when I was younger (he does), but I shouldn't have revealed this to him. Just makes it a weird dynamic. We try to talk to my old coworkers but he says some stupid shit while I'm not there and ejects. I roam around bars solo and drunk and barely remember anything before texting that chick from the club a few weeks back and fucking her at my house.




Saturday I tried to go out with my buddy, but around 11:00 at night I catch the stomach flu, and have been bed ridden all day


I do have a date with the girl I made out with at the bar two weeks ago? for Tuesday, and a party on Friday that I invited Saleswoman and Spunky to. Should be a good week.

 

[Hue]

Basically finished with King of College. For anyone that looks at this journal, I'll say this: read that shit. While Hector's experience is unique, anecdotal, and at times outlandish - some of the lessons conveyed through his stories and observations are timeless. It's a raw, no bullshit, an expansive account of social dynamics in college. If you study it, you'll have a fine grasp on the people around you and hopefully yourself as you evolve through your years. I wish that I had been born in the year 2001 and had just found it, so that I could have gone to college knowing what was going to happen before it did.


Now, a reflection on my first 2 years..

(Only partially to do with chicks, so if you don't give a fuck stop reading here)

My first semester in school I was a pretty focused student. I had a solid scholarship for going to the school that I chose, and wanted to keep it that way. My school was medium sized and expensive compared to most other schools in my state. I was placed into a small, fucking lame as hell dorm. Literally, it was the shittiest dorm you could be in. 78 people, compared to everyone else's 300-600 people. Networking took a huge hit from that - so I tried to branch out to other people's dorms to socialize outside of other shit (party's, class, bars, clubs).

By the time rush came around I had it "in" with two fraternities, but admittedly barely put myself out there during rush. I only went to 3 chapters actually. I was depressed at the time, more than likely because of growing pains, but largely because of a realization that who I was in high school didn't matter. I had expected people to "see my worth" rather than build myself up like I had in the past. It was some combination of a victim mentality, relying on external validation, lack of emotional connection, homesickness, and probably the large amount of drinking and smoking I had continued passed high school. I still have / do some of those things now, but to a much lesser degree than I am referring to.

When it was actually time to make a decision, one ambitious frat who was up an coming waited to hear back from me, and another druggy frat who was (while I didn't know it) on their downfall was throwing better parties. They let us get fucked up at rush events, where as this other one was going by the book. I saw one as a bunch of pussies, but the other frat just didn't seem to be ambitious to me. I was also contemplating transferring to my current school - so it was a touch decision to make. I almost just went to neither so I didn't get sucked in. After talking to some of my closest people, I made the decision to rush the drug frat. They had cooler, harder dudes, and a way better social scene than this newer one. It was a safer bet.

The semester of pledging was incredible, terrible, life changing, and destructive as hell.

I could go into a lot of detail about it, but it would be kind of pointless. I will say this: I learned very quickly, how preselection generally worked, how fake people can be, how people will attack / destroy you if you serve as a threat, and how to not give a fuck. If I wanted to, I could probably write a couple FR's/LR's. Maybe in the future I will haha there are some pretty decent stories.

One thing though, I'll always regret my decision to remain complacent and not step up as pledge class president when I obviously should have. We had 28 kids in our pledge class to start, but because of rumors and allegations that swirled around the school, most kids dropped and we finished with 19. Our first PCP (pledge class president) had just been removed because of fucking up supremely with a party and doing something weird with this girl. After hearing an ear about it from our "Pledge Educator", we were told that someone had to step up. This wasn't going to be an election unless two people went up. I had just made decent friends with another kid who was pretty well liked in the pledge class, pretty cool, and seemed chill. We had talked about how our current PCP was bound to be impeached, and that maybe one of us should. We both gave reasons has to why we'd be good.

Hindsight, our pledge class / frat could have gone better / grown more if I was PCP (get shit done, keep things stabilized if possible, no problem with calling people out) and he was Social Chair (more sociable, well known, and agreeable than I was). I felt an instinct to step up right in the moment they asked us to. I looked at my pledge brother, and he just went, stood up, and that was it. He was president of the pledge class, no questions asked.

We had just gotten chewed the fuck into that night, so motivation to improve was a little higher if you catch my drift. The weeks following that we worked way harder at getting parties together, finishing projects, and being timely with what the actives wanted us to do. Within a month, our pledge class had grown more in reputation and we started to bounce back from the degradation the following class had left us with. Things were very on the up. And I remember, my pledge brother got credit from most everybody. He went onto become the most popular, bang a lot of hot girls, and have natural social proof because people knew and saw him as a leader.

When people give you power, it can easily just turn into more power if the dominoes fall a certain way.

All the while I was getting mixed responses from most of the fraternity. Some guys liked me, some guys didn't. Not a great position to be in as a pledge - except our pledging got cut short. We got kicked off. And because of this, many of the pledges who didn't bond with the rest of the frat collectively (circumstantial or lack of effort) were seen as "step brothers". Basically the kids that weren't already seen as cool and popular were pushed even further into whatever boxes had already been created for them by shit-talking brothers (though technically, you create your own box) This taught me how to roll with the punches, but eventually because of my inability to learn from the way people operate and my victim mentality, I fucked myself. I thought I was generally smarter and more open minded than most of my "simple minded" brothers and this drove a lot of people to dislike me. My pledge class president and his clique have a sworn hatred against me now - and other than complete disregard to them, I guess I never handled it amazingly (definitely not optimally).

So, even though we had gotten kicked off, I had decided that there was no fucking way I was living in the dorms as a sophomore and did everything in my power to get off campus housing. What happened was I ended up living with serious upper classmen (5th years + 6th years (yes, they exist lol)) as a sophomore. There was one junior too, but he was bonkers and actually had to drop out. It was an insane semester. Lots of things going up my nose, and booze down my throat. I almost dropped out, actually. I had no inspiration other than partying, and so naturally I went fucking crazy. I learned a lot, socially, from that semester. Older girls would meet me and say shit like "this kids the shit and he knows it". I was cocky, vivacious, and direct. Girls were still kind of a weird for me to grasp and the older guys would give me shit about how much I over-analyzed situations / texts with them. I also had no concept of attainability for the majority of these years - except for the end where I became a little more romantic.

My pledge class on the other hand, stayed in the dorms. They had way less shit to do, not living next to the bars (and I lived NEXT to the bar) and didn't join me in my fun. I would invite them but they would rather smoke weed or study. During calmer times neither party wanted to walk across campus just to hang out, more times than not. So what that creates is and in-group, out-group kind of thing. People bond, even if its' over the most trivial shit. From that it became, my pledge bros, now much more timid than I was, not being able to keep up with me when I was out (having gained a new network and drive to be social as fuck), and them wanting to enjoy going out with eachother in general. They were for the boys, I was not.

As far as our party scene, it was the same thing. I now had access to older-brother parties (while I was still just as polarizing except amongst my housemates), and my pledge brothers had basically given up on that scene other than the pledge class president. Shortly after this dynamic began, the shit talking started. I definitely deserved some of it. In other ways I was powerless to it - they were always together, and I was always at my house. There were more reasons to attack than defend me, and this dynamic eventually snowballs. This, combined with some of my slutty behavior with sororities who had girls dating my pledge brothers, degraded my reputation a fuck ton.

By the end of the year, my now good friends (graduating 5th years and other victory lap seniors) would be gone, my frat was kicked off, many girls hated me (and loved me), I had no passion academically, and I was basically hated by half the fraternity. Oh, and I was still heartbroken as fuck about my ex-girlfriend who now goes to school there. So, I got the fuck out.

Before I left, I was really a totally different person than the one who came in. I had long, messy hair, went out 4 nights a week, every week, and went out alone a lot. Right in the last few months, things were just getting really cool with women and I. I had pulled some amazing girls based off nothing more than Wayne Gretsky's quote, "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" and some sexual directness, and was managing multiple hook ups a night with hot ass chicks, like HB8+. The kids in my frat that didn't like me would get SOO pissed when they saw me do it, too. Like, "How the fuck does HUUEE get HERR?" lol. Made me laugh. I had just then found the PUA community, too.

I wonder though. If I had decided to step up as Pledge Class President that fateful night.. what might have changed. Probably a waste of time to think about it. But I wonder if I'd have had what it took to unite the class before we had gotten kicked off, and change the course of the fraternity, or AT LEAST my time at the school. Or, lol fuck it, I'd have turned into the cocky fuckboy I was born to be for that period in my life, and I'm lucky it even turned out that way. Actually, yea! kinda! I wouldn't have opted out of the dorms if we hadn't been kicked off - and wouldn't have had any of that experience without access to the older guys' scene.

I wonder more.. considering that I had just found the PUA community, I was just entering my true Sigma-ness in that environment, girls knew who I was as a fuckboy (though some spoke about how I just love girls), and I did eventually find Girlschase, that following summer... what.. could have happened?

Who knows lol. In some alternative universe I'm having a 5-some in my living room.

I wanted to write about it though... reading King of College made it impossible not to reflect on my own experience.

 

[Hue]

I rolled out of bed, feeling better than flu-sick me last night. After forcing myself to turn in an assignment before it's deadline, pull together some outfit and make my way to class to study for my exam in the next.

For the class, I get there just before things begin for the test, and look down the aisle. I sit in the same spot, almost every day. Middle-ish of the 2nd row. There's two girls in the class that I've been playing cat and mouse with, but I definitely know which one I want. I don't see them for 2 seconds, then for whatever reason choose the 3rd row today.

I sit down in the first seat, look down at my bpack, grab a pencil and look up. The one I want is on the seat to the left of my vacant, usual seat, and the other girl is to the right of it. Coincidence? No fucking way.

Tried to time us up to walk out at the same time but the one I want takes too long so I leave.


Need to take my shot soon.


Also a girl in the other class heard me chuckle when she was talking on the phone to her friend about one night stands and how to get the guy out of your room. We had to go over questions and I turned to her and saw that sparkle in the eye. Today I didn't see her when I sat down so I couldn't find an easy window.

What would Hector do? Open her with something about how the teacher is always trying to get us to talk as classmates, so hey, this is me talking to you. jk I just thought you were cute, hey, I'm Hue.

Something like that

 

[Hue]

Was excited for my date today, but considering..

- I set it up on Friday night (she then probably went on to go out with her friends, one who's bisexual and actually serves as competition - and either way they overtly disliked me)
- There were ambiguous plans to what we'd be doing
- It's the day before Valentine's day, which creates multiple different pressures internally and externally for her

.. she decided to ghost me. I called her, and nada.


At work my coworker has been increasingly laying out windows of flirtation, sexual talk, and even cheating frames to me. Alas, she's my coworker, and barely a 7. I wouldn't. Just not worth it.

And out of the blue she texts me after work. Lol either I'm friendzoned (maybe in a good way though) or this bitch wants to cheat. My other coworker, as I got her number to invite her to a party tells this girl that she's engaged infront of me, RIGHT after I got it.

At my other work the PhD student, THIS HOT ASS WOMAN, introduces herself to me (though we've already met). I walked in like "aaayyy party people" and M smiles at me and says "heyyy", while the PhD student, turns to me, sparkle in her eye, and asks if she can be "a party people". I give her a flirty look like "only if you wannt tooo". Then I was talking about my class with M and about how our groups were really cool the first, and now they're less stimulating than before, and it's... losing.. touch, and the lady lets out this dramatic *sigh*, enough for M and I to stop talking and look at her. Things like that stand out to me, as though something in the conversation triggered it (not necessarily related to me or the actual subject, but the parallels).

Either my confirmation bias has lost any sort of off-switch, or I'm having a moment of clarity. Things are popping out left and right to me like this. Or maybe I'm just inches from breaking into full schizophrenic.


Then, TWO OLD GIRLS text me within the same few hours of eachother. "Hey." and "Hiii". Hahahaha, like, come fucking on ladies. One was a girl that I ball-in-court texted. I'm not asking her out, she can ask me out - she definitely wants BF material from what I remember. The other is my cute little FB from my old school. I texted her a little bit more and then said we'll have more fun recapping in person - I'll be visiting in two weeks. >8)


I'll try to find a wingman for tomorrow, if not I'll just go out alone as Mr. Sleezebag to the Lonely-Hearts Club that has karaoke night (the sorority bitches here are alll about it). I might text a fraternity buddy who's graduating this semester, he'd probably be down.

Worst case scenario I have two parties coming up this weekend. And I'm gonna try to rage with my SweetBro friends this Thursday and try to run into that blondey again, or her friends.


ALSO. I MUST shoot my shot with at least one of the girls in my class tomorrow, and make myself known, known to that brunette chick that gave me the sparkle eye in my other class, if I haven't already missed my chance.



Side note: I keep reflecting about my old days, and recognize myself in the mirror more, so to speak.. but I feel myself differently now.

My flame has been sparked once again, this time with a machine that can better handle it's intensity. I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself too much, but my motivation to succeed has returned > I think not working for a week or two, letting all that cortisol drain from my head a little bit has helped me quite a bit haha.

 

[Hue]

Wednesday

Class last Wed was cancelled. I saw the hot chick I want walking away from the building (me being late and not knowing it had been cancelled), walked by her, then ran back to her to try and talk. I got her name (again) and didn't pace her reality, which ended in an awkward hand touch by me, and her smiling as she left. Bad approach. Shitty timing.

That night I went out with Tuna and screened him for if I should tell him about GC. All the while this hot bartender he's friends with came over to give us drinks on drinks (he payed for all of mine lol, I owe him) and I flirted with her when given the chance. He asked me to come with him over spring break to this awesome festival in Texas, which pushed my consideration for telling him forward. We went outside the bar and I basically told him without telling him. So he knows what it's about, but not what it is.

Then, as we're talking about it, a HB7, HB6, and HB5 come up to us with french fries, and we start talking and flirting with them. They seem more interested in Tuna than me, and I just flirt with all of them equally. Eventually I decide to lead and take us inside to get a table and get drinks, where him and I split into our desired pairs. I start being a little more physical with the HB7 (petite brunette) and him with the HB6 (cute, thicc blonde). My girl is a little ball of fun, and so trying to pull her basically just breaks down to keeping her on a string and pulling her back in when the time is right, then qualifying her / escalating subtly with touch.

At one point the HB5 (who I just started talking to and trying to charm) is talking about going home, because her boyfriends not there. She wants to bring the blonde home, too. I reveal to her that I like her friend, and my friend seems to like her other friend. This puts her on my side of the fence for a while, and then the girls take a bathroom break, except I pull the petite brunette to me and get more physical, telling her that we should leave the bar together. My proposal wasn't direct as I'd have liked it, but it played in with plausible deniability. Given the HB5 cockblock.. er.. ability, this seemed necessary to me at the time.

All goes swimmingly when they come back, and the HB7 calls the HB5 and uber, then the girls stay with us. For a moment I thought my friend would lose his girl and I'd be taking mine (which frankly, I would ditch him in a heart beat if that were the case - he understands this) but at the very last second the blonde stays out with us.

We all start walking to my house and my girl sparks up a J out of nowhere lol, and I invite them to enjoy it at my house a few blocks away. She's not down, disappointingly. I persist and she asks for my number. I laugh then stick out my phone and have her put it in, then start walking to my house. She starts blabbering, "are you gonna call me? Why haven't you called me yet? Hue!" and I just give her a cheeky smile with a byyyeeeeee. Tuna keeps walking with them and texts me later that my girl really wants me to call her.

I did text her, and she made some goofy typo so I make fun of her. But her last text around 3:00 AM was just "Hey " and I think I should have booty called her...

When I try to set up the date she ghosted after a few messages.


Thursday

LR: Competing for Thicc Chiccs

I went out with my buddy who's president of a lower-middle tier fraternity. He seemed kind of preoccupied with his girls/guys, and I do what I can to be sociable and make friends. Pretty easy, because these dudes aren't all that charismatic. They were okay, though. There's a thicc blonde that he's sitting with who looks just like Amber. She has a certain look in her eye that says she's adventerous. I flirt with her the rest of the night.

Mr. President and I are eskimo bros with R and this comes up early on, giving me preselection with the thicc blonde. When we leave, it's fucking pouring out and I don't have any coat. The blonde does so I get up close to her and insert myself inside her unzipped jacket, proposing that this be how we keep me dry, plus she'll be getting wet anyways. If it weren't for the adventerous look in her eye I wouldn't have tried this because it would have been pretty damn uncalibrated. She loved it though.

We leave to the frat house, and then a smaller school-club party that Mr. President is friends with. Weird people at this party. I was uncomfortable and almost left. Mr. President, while a cool guy himself, definitely hangs with some odd crowds of people. I can relate to the dominance hierarchy that comes along with being with lower-quality groups, but I try not to do this very often because I get very little out of it and it basically just feeds narcissism. Or maybe I'm just cynical and there's an altruistic nature to his ways..

Anyways, we leave again to his frat house after some drinking games. At the other party I semi-deep dived the blonde, so now that we're in a closer setting I go for the full dive. She shows me the sparkle in her eye as I find out about her passions, why it relates to her family upbringing, and how she identifies as her own individual in her life's construct. All while escalating physically, slowly but surely. Then we go back to drinking games.

At one point, I seriously can't remember why.. I think she was kicking me about something in King's Cup? And I stopped her foot with mine and we have a little squat-wrestling match lol it was actually pretty fun and humorous. It got her all excited too.

I forgot to mention that this whole time there's a slight tension building up between Mr. President and I. It's a clear competitive nature for the girl at this point. He's trying to talk her ear off, and forgetting simple things like touch and sexual innuendo (something I've fallen prey too as well). It didn't hurt that her and I were the first out in never-have-I-ever, suggesting a naughty/adventurous nature to the two of us.

Then, I take a piss and she steals my chair, so when I come back I lay on top of her. Mr. President's friends leave, and then Mr. President takes a piss. I give her bedroom eyes and start making out with her - only to stop when Mr. President comes back. We keep sitting there and look at shit on her phone. I tease her a bunch about her bitmoji, and give Mr. President some shit about his, which he doesn't to a great job of handling.

Then, she get's up to pee, and I turn to Mr. President and ask if he's trying to fuck blondey. He looks slightly disgruntled/uncomfortable and says that "yea, we've known each other a while. tonight seemed like a good night to go for it. but hey, may the best man win!" with a smile at the end. I laugh and hi-five him. Right after blondey comes back and sits down with him, and he goes back to talking her ear off.

All I do from there is inch over towards them, and during moments Mr. President is distracted get more physical with blondey (I was now sitting on the arm of the chair) and eventually I'm feeling up her ass underneath her leggings.

Finally, it's time to leave and I realize that wait, even though I'm killing this shit, Mr. President's logistics murder mine (we're in his house), and so I say that the blonde has to help me run home so I can use her rain coat, like before. The thing is, I never actually used her rain coat before - I was still pretty soaked from the rain and that was only a quick thing at the bar. This is the beauty of plausible deniability. She agrees, we all go to Mr. Presidents room together, and then I laugh and hi-five him as her and I walk down the steps and out the door. Good game.

At the door I pull her aside and start making out with her, and she's getting super turned on. I tell her, as to avoid any LMR with logistical obstacles that we have three options, and I separate each option with 5-10 seconds of making out.

1). We hide and I fuck your brains out in a closet 2). Do you have any roommates? (she does, as I planned her to answer) 3). We're going to my single

With this I ruled out the least likely option to begin with, ask her a question about her own place to show her I might not even be down for that option, and then finalize our plans, with the last and only option which is my apartment - adding it the fact it's my single to not have her worry about any roommate troubles.

Easy as pie.

We go to my house and I don't let her in my bed till she's sucked my dick on her knees, then we 69 to reverse cowgirl, then I finish in her tight pussy in adapted missionary (she's on BC, not to worry).

In the morning her alarm goes off and I ask her if she would rather go to class or have gross morning sex with me and she smiles that same adventurous smile and we go at it.

Thicc or not (I'll admit, naked she was slightly thicker than I liked) morning sex definitely beats coffee. She had a great face, big ass, and great pussy.


Friday

I texted a ton of girls to try and have this party go excellent, but only saleswoman came. Before girls showed up it was just dudes getting rowdy. However, I felt out of place at the party because one of the hosts dislikes me, one is two-faced and doesn't actually like me, and I didn't know a bunch of guys there. Still, I made a few friends by the time bars rolled around. When Saleswoman got there, I immediately treated her like my girlfriend. I couple of guys tried to get with her, but me pulling her to the backroom for a quick make out, and having my arm around her on the couch showed everybody what was going on.

I befriended the girl she brought, but the whole point was to get preselection from other girls at the party (all of 2), and all the other girls I invited bailed. Took a hit to the ego. THEN I forgot to do an awesome trick Hector talks about in his book while playing pong, and then I didn't lead her away from the party. Hindsight, there was a doe-eyes point where that's what she wanted. While I'm talking with one of the guys I befriended, she came up to me, "hey, this is me saying bye" and I had an immediate hit of cognitive dissonance and scrambled a little bit, then said something awkward like "oh.. where you going. . oh... well,, the.. night is young ;P " and her and her friend giggled and said cya!

Fucked with me pretty hard.

Also, I like her. Rare for me, but.. she's just so cute, feminine, kind, and aaah idk lol. I'm not saying I'm head over heels, but. I like her. So there.


Then out at the bars I was with a bunch of associates, and very few friends. I felt alone, honestly. Even though I was surrounded by 20-30 people from different groups that are medium-high "quality" and all knew me and thought well of me as far as I know. I just didn't feel like I was part of anything beyond myself.

Eventually I leave to a club and somehow pull these two girls from dancing begging for attention to leaning up on me against the wall with me feeling up one of their tits, then inviting both of them to an after party (they agreed), only for some stranger to start walking with us to my house, and THEIR MOM picking them up from a town 45 minutes away to go home. There was actually an after party, too. That could have been a good thing.

Saturday

I spontaneously decide to visit my old school and see my old friends (or what's left of them). It was a good day - and it's nice to walk around and see people that are immediately EXCITED to see you. People that felt like real friends. Not a whole lot to report, girls wise. At the end of the night I had a makeout with some lesbian chick at the biggest bar there, and a couple other girls I flirted with but never hooked.

Monday

My lab-partner wants to fuuuuck (;;;;;

Tuesday

About to leave to a job interview, then class, then coaching session with Hector, then dinner at my house with Saleswoman

 

[Hue]

I'm incredibly incongruent with Saleswoman, and forgot to do simple things. I didn't kiss her within 5 minutes, and I tried to fuck her after dinner and hanging out for a while. I didn't escalate properly, and when I put my hand on her ass below her pants she pulled my hand out.

In my attempted job to stop scrambling with her LMR she tells me that she's been asshole'd, and she "likes nice guys". Great. I'm a nice guy in her mind. I just couldn't bridge the gap with her, and I couldn't hold strong frame. I was sloppy as fuck, I felt like a PUA magician pulling tricks out of his magic box at one point. It's partly a result of her being a timid, quiet girl and not giving a whole lot of feedback, partly because I like her, and partly because I was taking the LMR personally.

I'm not sure if we'll have another date - dinner was quite sloppy and even though we're about to graduate she seems to be boyfriend slotting me. Plus our connection is fading rapidly, and I've been given 3 chances at this point.



Deciding to go out that night was probably a mistake, but I did anyways. I opened Lipstick and failed to do what I said I would. Fuck me. I got physical with her and bantered, but I wasn't leading enough. Lead, lead, lead. "i will next time" isn't gonna cut it.

I opened two blonde girls and they gave Tuna and I banter by giving us fake names, but then Tuna said something uncalibrated and it kinda ruined the vibe, then I tried to salvage it, and failed miserably by making some joke about thier drink choice nd inserted straws into their beer so they could "actually blow bubbles" (spin off the beer name) and making fun of their drink choice. Niiiiice. lol

Two fat girls stared us down and I made a joke about how they wanted to eat us lol.

I ran into that HB7 and she wasn't giving me much to work with, then I left to a new bar and she responded saying "she just realized she didn't respond" so I called her and she replied "whats up". Not dealing with that. Tuna's girl has him boyfriend slotted. I told him, and he doesn't care. Can't see that going amazingly. But, hey, maybe it will and they'll hit it off.

 

[Hue]

Caved in with the discount and purchased OneDate yesterday. I'm yet to fully dig in, because the material is thick, but excited for what it will teach me. Debating if I should move the journal over there, but will probably just keep this one going and double post notable reports to share the failures/conquests with others.


Fun weekend.


Thursday

Turns out a group of my friends was also invited to the girls birthday party I posted about in General. I roll with them and have one good interaction, followed by multiple bad ones. My dudes get there, I greet the birthday girl and flirt with her (she's a big girl, but I wanted to make her feel good and we're friends), then play pong as girls that I know mingle toward and away from the table. Someone throws on this banger that I fuck with hard and so I pop over to the side of the room with this sorority girl who's dating my good friend. Let's call her Piper. I ask if she's the one that through the song on, and notice her hot friends. She says it wasn't but then introduces me to her ladies.

I greet both of them and turn my attention to the hotter one almost immediately. My handshake lingered a few milliseconds longer with her as well lol. She's a transfer student who just got a job showing off apartments to sell. I don't get that flirty but I do underhandedly call her pretty when seeing how she got the job. The tension had been building up as I create a scenario where she's selling the apartment to me, but then a really loud POP noise from behind us goes off and it also pops our bubble. I realized the tension was gone shortly after this and eject to preserve the first impression.

When I go back to my friends, Piper's boyfriend, MadHatter comes up to me and gives me shit for being a dog and talking to the chicks (annoying but only in jest). He says that Piper told him that her friend said "I've approached her 7 times, and asked for her number 3 times and totally creeped her out". What? No fucking way. Sure, I get blacked out and shot gun approach occasionally, but no fucking way did I approach the same girl 7 times. Then he says once was in a coffee shop. It wasn't until the next morning I remembered the encounter, but the thing is I never asked for her number. So this bitch is starting rumors in a couple of ways.

There's an entire section of Hector's book about Rumors and reputations management, and I probably played the wrong card in how I met the claim. My buddy just thought it was funny, but a few points in the night the girl I originally approached mean mugged me, and so did that girl that I quickly pulled from the bar last year. I admitted that I could have met her twice before, and possible met her blacked out and tried to get her number a separate occasion, but there's no way she's not exaggerating. Also, I couldn't think of anywhere I did that to a girl in a coffee shop, especially the way MadHatter was describing it. I decide to chit chat with Piper and then bring it up, and her face goes stone cold / bored when I do, simply saying "well, you have your life, and I have mine". All I said was "it sooounds like a rumor. Not a fan of those".

I try to approach the original girl again and she too, has gone stone cold. Perhaps they saw the negative preselection with Piper, or maybe it was them talking about the rumor. Who knows.

It's my other friends birthday so I leave to that bar and fuck around some. I invite two girls to kiss my buddy for his birthday but they decline in a bitchy way. No other notable approaches and the chicks there aren't that hot. Now a bunch of people are texting me to come to the bar the original party went to and I do. Once there I realize how drunk I've become at the other spot and have trouble keeping up with conversations. I leave home around 1.


Friday

We go to a mexican joint for margaritas and food with the boys, then leave to two parties. The first one blows, so we go down the street to a frat party. There's actually girls at this one, and the birthday girl from thursday is there and introduces me to this black chick. I flirt with her and isolate her and when sexual tension actually starts building she tells me that she's dating my friend. I don't at all act regrettingly about my slight advances, but do laugh at the irony because him and I always seem to go for the same girls (and have hooked up with two). The guy doesn't trust me, for some reason though, I get the vibe.

I eject and see 4th of July girl and flirt with her then walk away. When I come back to her she's far more excited to talk to me, similar to how she was when I first met her. Her friends are about to leave to the bar, and I ask if she's coming. She steps into me and says she'd rather do something else (fuck), and I go full sexual direct. "Okay, well we could go fuck eachothers brains out down the street. My apartment is right there." And she gets very excited but backs off as well, then comes back in but not all the way. Same reaction I got from Spunky. This is spiking in and of itself. You push hard, and shake her reality a little bit. If she's not fully ready for it, you'll have a mixed effect.

Her friends disapprove of me and I return outside, only exchanging some flirty glances with her thereafter. I talk with my friends, almost get in a fight with one drunk bastard who's always too physical and confrontational, and then right as we're about to leave to the bar 4th of July girl comes up to me and wants to fuck.

Things get weird here..

On the way to my house she says that her friends said she could do a whole lot better and that she should have someone that cares about her. I have been struggling with vulnerability, and decide this would be a good "experiment" to be vulnerable. When we're on the couch it's very clear that her body wants dick pretty badly, but her mind is holding her back. So, I basically show her that I want to have a connection with people as well, and I don't get why people can't just all connect and be cool with each other. Guys with girls, guys with guys, girls with girls (obviously this is very blue pill sounding, but in my drunk state I inspired her with espousing the belief). I tell her that just because I fuck girls and then don't see them after doesn't mean I don't care about them. The one night stand was an enjoyable experience we shared. Much more was said, I was really drunk and don't remember all of it.

It all comes across as a player that wants love too, but is stuck in his player ways. She says that me even saying it is just me being a player in and of itself. That my vulnerability is me playing her. But it wasn't! I decided to try out sharing vulnerability after not doing it for so long and being jaded from crueler people that take kindness for weakness. It satisfies her mind and we do fuck, but by the time we do I have whiskey dick and the sex is fairly bad. Lol. sooooo anticlimatic. We both agreed. I say we'll fuck in the morning and she calls me out on having sensitive morning wood from last time (wow she actually remembers me making fun of myself). We sleep together (her clothed, me naked lol) and when her alarm goes off in the morning she just leaves.

I texted her that I enjoyed seeing her and she doesn't answer. I think she just wanted pipe, but she had a mental barrier she wanted (not needed) to cross. It was odd, me, wanting to be vulnerable and deeper with people and her, getting tired of being kinda a slut with the timing of the matter. I cringed a little bit about the things that I said, but I did mean them and understand that like anything, things will pass.


Saturday

Date party that birthday girl invited me to on Friday. She set me up with a date, a bitch that I had tried to get coffee with in the past a few times. She flaked a lot, and now apparently has a boyfriend. There's still pussy I can get at this party though, is my mentality. I love dressing up for this shit. I looked fucking sick. Purple button down, grey dress pants, black blazer, midnight blue marblestone watch.

I get to the pregame before my date and talk to two girls who are on a "date" with eachother. I ask them if I can have their drink, since my date isn't here yet. When my date gets there we talk and I kind of try to move things forward, but not really? Like I would flirt and talk to her about topics she seemed to enjoy, but throughout the date she would break out of our bubble and look around at everyone. I think the whole time she wanted to be seen having fun with her date. It seemed her primary care was the social value I was offering rather than the date itself. Which makes sense, if she's serious with her boyfriend.

When my buddy gets there we start having way more fun and making jokes. I set up this joke with this girl who doesn't like her date about how me and my friend we'll each be half of her date to have one full date, and that we'll have to break into a threesome later on. Goes great. I just wish she was hot lol because later on when everyone is fucked up she thought that I actually wanted to fuck her. Her and the birthday girl actually gave me straight bedroom eyes and got physical with me. I was just trying to have a good time and dance / flirt with everyone.

There was a girl who I had hooked pretty hard and I started feeling up her ass but then they were leaving to go change. I didn't see it as a high possibility of me fucking her that night because her friend was visiting and she lived in the dorms. I got her number but couldn't find her later.

At one point my date and I were getting drinks at the bar at the actual party and I brought up how she had a boyfriend while getting more physical with her. Apparently he's a 30 y/o at the same bar she works at. I tease her about him not really existing because he's never around her sorority and that he's just imaginary and she responds strangely.. like.. she got aroused and submissive. Part of me thinks that in this moment, she totally wanted to fuck me. I didn't push physically enough, and I didn't isolate her in the chaos of the party. Yea.. I think I could have done it if I persisted harder and used plausible deniability. Ah well.

My buddy stops having fun once birthday girl starts being horny and trying to fuck us, so he leaves. I leave to a nearby bar next door, and sit there and text people trying to rally now that the party is over and everyone dispersed. I forgot how nice I was looking and its crazy how different people treat you.

I overheard these girls talking about something that interested me and I jump into their conversation. It's actually that older girl Tuna tried to fuck and failed from a few weeks ago. I try to flirt with both of them equally, but only really get reciprocation from one of them and made the silly mistake of trying to warm the other girl up rather than not reward her for being less flirty, and focus on the one. I was low key thinking about a threesome but I didn't focus enough on the girl of interest and lost them.

While I sit at a different part of the bar a fat bitch comes up to me and is so nervous she can't even get a word out and keeps apologizing. I don't know what to say and just kind of stare at her, maybe saying a few words here and there. She's just being super weird. Why did all the fat bitches want to fuck me tonight lol

I tried to open another group but it went poorly. I left to another bar with tons of people and almost pulled this HB6 but then a frat buddy of mine interjects and then she ejects. I had her locked down without a doubt, but fuck it. It would have been a quicky had I kept pushing.

I stumble home fucking wasted and go to an after party before finally crashing in bed. Woke up to some drunk texts with that first girl and I might get a drink with her. Matched an Asian on Tinder and got her number but she only has one picture so I must proceed with caution.

Debating on texting Saleswoman we'll see.

 

[Hue]

Interesting encounters last week...

My research lab (made up of me and 6 women) is getting to the point where I'm seeing polarization. Most girls openly flirt with me, one girl who I took on a date then left there to dry dislikes me (but she's low value, I don't care), and my bosses are starting to treat me a little differently. I get into full on flirting at times and forget the fucking door is right there, with my superiors no more than 15 ft from me and definitely in ear shot.

One girl basically tried to get me to ask for her number and we were having a undercurrent conversation about guys she likes and we played around with chase frames - but I didn't go for it because I want another girl there.

This other girl told me that she was recently single and I immediately sexualized conversation and changed the subject, and she basically gasped and smiled at me before eventually playfully flirting and me getting her number. Tried to meet up with her that weekend but she went out with friends instead and I didn't want to appear thirsty. I added her on Snapchat and haven't gotten an add-back.

So, maybe some time off will be good, or maybe I need to shoot my shot before break...


Thursday night I got a girls number and grabbed some ass but ultimately didn't move fast enough. My friend got mad at me for using him to play darts to have girls play with us - he just wanted to play darts and the girl he was paired with was like a 4. Get over it, bro.. you have a girlfriend anyway. Bonus points to me for not drinking all that much.

Friday night.... oh yea I pregamed at a friends' then went to a really lame party for all of 5 minutes. Eventually headed to the bars again with some guys I suggested leave with me and wingmanned with my buddy only for us to get drunk silly and my girl to have a boyfriend (also she was dumb as rocks and kinda hard to talk to). Got some messages from my buddy's girl about how hot he was - I guess he didn't close but definitely could have.

Saturday was a fucking daaay. Great time, hung out with some pretty fun people. Had a makeout with one girl, then her friends stole her. Then I was grabbing this petite chicks squishy booty until her boyfriend from the army came up and started talking mad shit. Oh and that sorority chick from a few weeks back is seemingly over me now. Also Stripes snapchat texted me and I tried to meet up then she went cold right before my phone died.

But yea I got way too drunk this weekend other than Thursday.

 

[Hue]

February 2018 Summary

Diet: 8/10 - Caveman diet in full force right now. A couple drunk nights I'll buy gyros, or my lab partners will bring in cookies and I'll indulge. But now my house is nothing but meat, greens, cheese, and beans. Some power bars. I all around feel healthier.

Exercise 6/10 - When I got sick my max weight took a hit (plus the cutting has me off). But I have been working out consistently and while I'm still scrawny my abs are developing as well as some areas of muscle tone. I would put I higher score but not time managing enough.

Finances 2/10 - I'm in financial shit right now and had to take money out of my savings. Had orientation for my new job today but basically floated with cash the whole month. Was pretty out of control honestly.

Education 9/10 - All A's. For exams I only got one A-, and one C that will be getting dropped. Not enough reading but have been watching tons of Youtube lectures.

Drinking 3/10 - It was one hell of a month to party but I drank too much. Fucked up my only go out 2 nights a rule thing pretty bad. Generally had a blast though.


Sooo.. 28/50, my worst grade yet I think!

I mean, looking at the whole thing I basically just emptied my bank account into alcohol...

Yea haven't gone full out like that (a month of pretty consistent drinking) in a while..


No more wingmanning with dudes that don't have good game. Tuna is an exception because he has good nights and girls seem naturally drawn to him. He just needs some guidance and he'll get there. Plus him and I are about to go away on vacation where I'm sure we'll have a good week. Flatbill I'm done going out with. He's easily my lowest value friend - I'm keeping our relationship to xbox and the occasional party / bar I'll see him at. I have sympathy for him and I want the best for him, but he holds me back when I'm with him in just about every way.


Lipstick booty texted me last Friday and I cold called her on Saturday to no answer. Like I said, it's gonna happen eventually.

I feel a connection with a girl in the study immediately. While the measurement device is being prepared, I write my name on a piece of paper and stick it in her hole for her arm coat. There was no other way I could have reached out given my circumstance. I wonder if she even saw it lol. I pray to god that it didn't fall out and my boss finds it - somehow pinning it to me. That would be fuuucked.

Lol. Never doing this again. Either talk to her as she's walking out of the study or apply an extra dose of abundance mentality. Just not worth it and super low likelihood she texts me.

I meet up with my homie who texted me about going out. He's recovered from his addiction, but still can be a pain to go out with because of his neediness. He's also an introvert so he's not very into socializing on the level that I do when I go out. He also has insecurity about his game (which he doesn't really have) - so wingmanning is not really an option.

Lol why did I go out with him, then?

Idk we're tight, and I was gonna go out alone anyways.. so, it didn't hurt I guess.

Likewise with Flatbill. When I go out with this dude I literally feel like I have to facilitate EVERYTHING he does. He is so unautonamous I can't handle it. If he gets invited to something we're doing, fine - or if there's set plans with other people we'll do it. I love ya man, but I can't spend my last semester with my dudes shackling me. We have plenty of time to kick it with other activities.

Really an awful night if you think about it lol. My vibe must have been off - that and I probably didn't follow Chase's most recent article to the best degree.

Went over the entire night with Hector and wrote it up in a separate place on my cpu.

She asks for my number because she has a date party later, and I say something along the lines of "well we're already here together now aren't we?" but probably should have played it cool her to not be too excited with the prospect of sex. She says she has some margaritas in the fridge and we go to the kitchen. There's no one in there besides us, so I decide to go for a kiss and get a head turn, but she didn't do it in the rudest way. Kind of like "I want to but eeeeh I can't".

She booty called me that night and I didn't capatalize. Then she probably remembered this interaction and reversed rationalized doing anything with me last weekend when I saw her.



Valentine's day week was interesting. So many IOI's. Really wish I did more with it even if it didn't matter. Though it was insightful seeing the behavioral effect on woman that I would have been totally blind to had I never started my journey with GC.


Ran into Mr. President this last Thursday and we're all good. Helped him wingman but he didn't see his shot when I left them alone.


Oh yea and Friday I saw Bundle, Policeman stopped her and we got lunch. She paid for my meal and agreed to get a drink. Things went really well but then she flaked... she actually did have a ton of shit to do but we'll see. I'm gonna push for either T W or Th for her to come over. Same with Saleswoman (last shot).



Idk if I recorded it all but this month I had....

2 lays (only one new), 1 bar hookup w/ foreplay, 1 bar make out, 1 house hookup w/ foreplay, about 4 numbers? and a whoooole lotta blue balls.

LR: Competing For Thicc Chiccs

Strengths --> flirting with all the woman, getting hook points at bars much faster than before, getting the gears unrusted with sex talk again

Weaknesses --> dealing with wild cards & cock blocks, staying sober enough to get the D in, and persisting properly

 

[Hue]

Last night went to a sick concert and got to network with some rappers, artists, and managers.

As my squad is about to roll out this girl starts talking to us. I float around the conversation then when my dudes break off from her I turn my slay mode on and start talking to her, quickly building arousal and touching her hands. I ask how she got into doing fashion with artists. And I quote her saying, "yea I mean what I've always dreamed of having was just being a part of a group with celebrities. just to be around celebrities like whenever I wanted and have that level of status". el oh el you groupie hoe. Didn't stop me from qualifying her on her fashiom sense and getting her number.

Side note. I had gotten her insta as everyone was handing those out left amd right, then left, then came baxk and set up coffee with her all within like 90 seconds. Shit like this can work if you set the vibe and the tone well enough in your first impression / set with her.


We went to a bar, I text Lipstick if I'll be seeing her tonight and she just replies "no." so I hit her back with an "lol". and end up seeing her later. I kiss her on the cheek and start flirting and trying to move her but per usual her lame friends are there and looking cockblocky.

At one point I did eventually move and sit with her for her alleged fuckbuddy to come up amd try and tool me. At first I ignored him, but then she didn't stay in circle with me so I tool him back, then she leaves and I look him dead in the eye with a combination of *wtf* face and laughing and say "do I know you?" and he looks down looking sad then leaves. I told her to come with me latwr and she wouldn't so I left the bar.

Oh and at one point this hoe wanted a shot from me but I could smell white girl flakiness on her and ejected. Later her friend came up to me as they were leaving with a lustful look and a tap on the leg, only for her friends to pull her away.




Today I did something pretty dope, but it could have been cooler.

The hot chick in my class had an open seat so I sit next to her. I was reading some crazy feminist article and go "bitch you're fucking crazy" as I sit down engrossed in my phone.

When class begins I ruffle through my bag, pretend I don't have a pencil, then turn to her and ask for one. She's happy to help. We don't talk the rest of class but at this point I have learned how to use attractive body language yo get her attention throughout lectures.

At the end of class she's playing with her hair a lot and syncs up the timing of us leaving. I tap her elbow as we start to ascend up the stairs.

Me: Gotcher pencil
Her: *looks at me, then submissively down and blushes*
Oh thanks.
Me: What was your name?
Her: Statsgirl
Me: Statsgirl, nice to meet you *touches arm*
Me: How's your day been so far?
Her: Oh it's been okay I've not really had my head on straight *lightly hits wall walking up steps*
Me: Ha I didn't mean to push you to the wall, my bad
Her: *blushes* Haha yea I can't really walk straight.
Me: Oh did you show up drunk to class? Ballsy.
Her: *looks at me looking unsure*
Me: Oh? *looks at her, assessing her pause*
Her: Ya my hearing isn't working today haha.
Me: Haha okay. Ya you missed it I told this joke about you being drunk because you can't walk straight. Super funny. Everybody laughed.
Her: *smiling* Ohooo got it
Me: *taps her back* Ya it was pretty awesome.

...

Me: Going anywhere for spring break?
Her: Home!
Me: And where, is home, Statsgirl?
Her: New Jersey
Me: Oooh Jersey. And so you just had to get outta there to come here? For picking school's I mean.
Her: Oh I just visited here and immediately loved it
Me: *thinking about whether or not to chase frame* I'm gonna guess.. you're a.. sophomore.
Her: Nope, freshman
Me: Ooooh a freshman. Interesting.
Her: Your?
Me: Senior. I'm actually retaking this.. wonderful.. class.
Her: Hahaha.
Me: She tries really hard to make it enjoyable. But the stats jokes and her.. peppiness, ah I can't get enough.
Me: And you're in here because?
Her: Well I'm a health sciences and waas gonna do psychology..
Me: Waas? Don't tell me this class sent you turning!
Her: For a minor. Now I want the double major with Psychology too.
Me: Really? That's awesome.
Her: Yea and I took a ton if stats classes in highschool.
Me: So this is easy peasy for someone like you. Nice.

...

Me: Where are you headed?
Her: I have a class in blah blah in an hour and a half.
Me: Mmmm. Okay. Very fun. Ya I'm headed straight to my next class.

...

Me: *walks very closely to her side, basically touching, speaking lower now* Well I'm not gonna lie..
Her: *highly attentive*
Me: I just thought you were cute and wanted to talk with you..
Her: Oho.. Thanks!!
Me: Yea
Me: We should get coffee sometime.
Her: Well I don't drink coffee but we can definitely do some together.
Me: I suppose we could share some waters together or something of the like (; *I actually got a quarter chub here*
Her: Okay!
Me: Well let me get your number then.
Her: Sure!
Me: *hands phone* What does your class schedule look like?
Her: blah blah blah blah blah
Me: A..
Her: What time? *body fully facing me*
Me: Let's do.. 2:30 or so.
Her: Okay!
Me: Cool, nice talking with you Statsgirl.
Her: You too!!
Me: Oh, and the name's Hue by the way (;
Her: ((:

$$$$$ That was fun.

Other people were looking in confusion and in admiration, it seemed. Felt like a boss.