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Girl with Boyfriend?

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
747
So I met this girl through a friend last week. We flirted and actually play wrestled a bit -- no deep diving though. I'm not a buff or muscular guy, just slim, so I don't know why she wanted to do that, but it was enjoyable. I basically just let her do whatever, and I think that was pretty obvious. I didn't really try to prevent her, etc.

Anyway, she has a boyfriend (dating for about a year I think), but I was like *fuck it*. I added her on facebook and sent her just a playful message about my back hurting and that if her wrestling is as good as her dancing.

I'm trying not to reveal too much; these boards are public and probably google searchable...

Anyway, a few days go by and she finally replies back about how she is a poor dancer and nice to meet me and enjoyed kicking my butt, etc. I sent about a paragraph to her, and she sent about the same amount of text back to me.

Question is... should I go for it? I'm thinking I'll use this current convo to ask her out dancing. But if I ask one-on-one, I feel like I'll get the inevitable "I got a boyfriend"? Should I just ask to get a group to go dancing and hope she brings out a hot, single friend?

Normally, I wouldn't consider this, but boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can get stagnant, and people will stay in them out of loneliness or whatever. I don't really know if she's just trying to be a friend or actually interested. Of course, I would never do this with someone married.

Like I said, normally, if a girl tells me she has a boyfriend, I drop it and move on. But after reading some GC, I wanted to try different things in my life.

Because I normally don't pursue girls with boyfriends, any tips? Or should I just drop this?

Thanks
 

Light

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
427
You need to test the water.

Take a dip in and find out how much she likes you. Use this opportunity to do some deep diving and ask about her relationship with her boyfriend.
You will get a genuine idea on how much she likes her boyfried, whether he is keeping her happy or not (especially if he hs keeping her sexually happy or not!)
A girl can be frustrated in a relationship if shes not sexually satisfied by her boyfriend. This is where you come in ;)

Key things to remember:
- You must move fast!
- You don't want to compete for the boyfriend role. You want to be her sexual lover. You have to let her know this in a subtle way.
- If you're not successful within the first two dates, then you risk the chance of being friend zoned already.
- Keep texting / facebooking to a minimum, none is better. Use them to set up dates only. Leave all the real conversation for the dates.

Things you can say to her if she says she already has a boyfriend: "oh thats ok... he doesn't have to know ;) "
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
747
Light said:
You need to test the water.

Take a dip in and find out how much she likes you. Use this opportunity to do some deep diving and ask about her relationship with her boyfriend.
You will get a genuine idea on how much she likes her boyfried, whether he is keeping her happy or not (especially if he hs keeping her sexually happy or not!)
A girl can be frustrated in a relationship if shes not sexually satisfied by her boyfriend. This is where you come in ;)

Thanks! You know... you're absolutely right here.

I don't know how I missed it, but I read this today during my lunch.

I definitely don't want to pursue if she's in love. I'm going to "test the water" to see how her relationship is going. I just assumed it was bad based on her interaction with me, but I honestly don't know.

Now, I just have to figure out a smooth way to find out...
 

Penguin

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
86
I've found that some girls have a "place-holder boyfriend" meaning that they prefer going out with an average guy than being single/alone, but will cheat as soon as a sexier guy seduces them.

The wrestling is a good sign as it was an excuse for physical contact with you. You could probably think of a good chase frame to do with that e.g. "We'd better not do any more wrestling in case you get too turned on ;).

I don't think the dancing date is a good idea because she said she is bad at dancing. Also she might not feel up to it on the day and flake on you. Get the two of you alone on a simple date e.g. drinks and quickly escalate. Bear in mind that the date has to be covert so that she is not worried about being seen by people she knows including her boyfriend.

I actually think it's better to NOT mention the boyfriend until she does. In cases like this, girls feel a moral obligation to mention their boyfriend so that they don't blame themselves for cheating (making it your fault :p). If she says "I have a boyfriend" have a line prepared to address this objection- Something like "He'll never know :)" or my infamous "He can watch if he likes...".

Definitely go for this- You'll be doing her a favour by giving her the satisfaction that her relationship lacks. Another benefit is most guys won't have the balls to go for a taken girl so the competition is less :D.
 

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
747
Penguin said:
I actually think it's better to NOT mention the boyfriend until she does. In cases like this, girls feel a moral obligation to mention their boyfriend so that they don't blame themselves for cheating (making it your fault :p). If she says "I have a boyfriend" have a line prepared to address this objection- Something like "He'll never know :)" or my infamous "He can watch if he likes...".

Haha, that's a really good line. Thanks. I'll have to remember that.

You guys have given me some good motivation and inspiration here. Also, if she does turn me down, I think I can just play it cool, keep the messages short, and build intrigue, so that if they ever breakup, I can then swoop in -- not be the shoulder she cries on, but the sexual guy hopefully. Either way, I think this will be a good learning experience.
 
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