- Joined
- Jan 17, 2013
- Messages
- 13
Oh boy, I have gotten myself into such a huge mess I don't know where to begin.
This situation is spread over 2 years and a bit. I met a girl in the first year, and was interested in her, but didn't pursue her because she had a boyfriend. We became great friends (in my mind), but a potential bf (In her mind). She was sending out all the signals, openly telling me she would date me, hugging me all the time, texting till the morning, blah blah. Well, around half way, we got into a big fight somehow, and we quit contact for a month. Month later, we made up, she broke up, but met a new guy. So for the next half year, both of us were just trying to pursue her. In the end, she asked me out (Terrible, oh Lord save me), and she said she would give me a chance. Well it went well, made out a little, and she said she liked me.
Then hell was raised in the form of work, overbearing parents and what not, and we just broke off. She went with the other guy, and I ignored her for a year, even though she tried to patch up, partially out of jealousy, partially out of consideration for her new relationship. Fast forward another year, turns out she was having a torrid time, guy was a total brute, abusive, yada. Broke up last November, and well, I did want to patch up at least as friends. Yeah, I know we shouldn't get back with our exs, but heck.
So at NY Day, I started talking to her again, texting her and stuff. She responded well enough, and said she wanted to start on a good note with people, especially me. So for two weeks, it was quite well, texting from day to night. She told me about how she was being hounded by the second guy, sending her emails every two hours, contacting mutual friends, and she blocked him. So much for him.
Then I messed up terribly, was flirting with her harmlessly, and not wanting to spill anything, until I accidentally blurted it out. She was right mad, or confused, and thought I had moved on. It was kind of horrible, a little like a repeat of our break up. She just said that she likes me (or at least she's not very sure), but she ''isn't sure about an actual relationship'', and since we were rebecoming great friends, why ruin it? So it was cold war for a few days, and I made the mistake of acting like a lovesick wuss, dropping her texts every so often. It was bad.
She also confided in me something she said she hasn't told anyone. That she has given up, or almost given up on finding love, because of all the hurt she has undergone, bad relationships, and that she doubt she was built for it. She said she hopes she won't wake up one day and regret that it was right in front of her the whole time. What does that mean? Am I just a friend to her?
But well, we patched up rather fast, as though nothing happened. But yeah another problem is my jealousy, I know I shouldn't, but I did make it known to her I was jealous whenever she was with male friends, which is just moronic. Giving her power and all. Urgh. (Good articles btw) And well, she said she wouldn't do anything to pique my jealousy after we quarrelled. but the day before, whilst we were texting, she just casually let it be known that she was on a date, and she was miserable cause the guy was boring, and well I called her, talked to her, and she seemed happy and willing enough to, even whilst on a date. I asked her out, and she kind of agreed, and said she'll find time in her schedule next week. But she keeps insisting on playing games? (Or am I wrong?) We were having a random conversation, and she said she was shopping, but ran out of money, and could easily get a sugar daddy, giggling all the time. It was just awkward, and she apologised. She knows I get jealous, is she playing a game?
Yesterday, she kind of surprised me by asking my boss to take me down to lunch just to meet her (didn't know until I got there) as she worked in the same place before. She was a more than a little flirty, teasing, touchy (swatting, pinching, hitting incessently) so I hope that's good?
I've been trying not to contact her so much to appear needy or so, but I don't know if I can salvage any of that. She clearly knows that I like her, and she can exploit that. Haven't spoken to her for two days, and she hasn't contacted me. I'm afraid that if I don't, she'll lose interest, but if I do, it'll appear needy.
What should I do about this whole mess?
This situation is spread over 2 years and a bit. I met a girl in the first year, and was interested in her, but didn't pursue her because she had a boyfriend. We became great friends (in my mind), but a potential bf (In her mind). She was sending out all the signals, openly telling me she would date me, hugging me all the time, texting till the morning, blah blah. Well, around half way, we got into a big fight somehow, and we quit contact for a month. Month later, we made up, she broke up, but met a new guy. So for the next half year, both of us were just trying to pursue her. In the end, she asked me out (Terrible, oh Lord save me), and she said she would give me a chance. Well it went well, made out a little, and she said she liked me.
Then hell was raised in the form of work, overbearing parents and what not, and we just broke off. She went with the other guy, and I ignored her for a year, even though she tried to patch up, partially out of jealousy, partially out of consideration for her new relationship. Fast forward another year, turns out she was having a torrid time, guy was a total brute, abusive, yada. Broke up last November, and well, I did want to patch up at least as friends. Yeah, I know we shouldn't get back with our exs, but heck.
So at NY Day, I started talking to her again, texting her and stuff. She responded well enough, and said she wanted to start on a good note with people, especially me. So for two weeks, it was quite well, texting from day to night. She told me about how she was being hounded by the second guy, sending her emails every two hours, contacting mutual friends, and she blocked him. So much for him.
Then I messed up terribly, was flirting with her harmlessly, and not wanting to spill anything, until I accidentally blurted it out. She was right mad, or confused, and thought I had moved on. It was kind of horrible, a little like a repeat of our break up. She just said that she likes me (or at least she's not very sure), but she ''isn't sure about an actual relationship'', and since we were rebecoming great friends, why ruin it? So it was cold war for a few days, and I made the mistake of acting like a lovesick wuss, dropping her texts every so often. It was bad.
She also confided in me something she said she hasn't told anyone. That she has given up, or almost given up on finding love, because of all the hurt she has undergone, bad relationships, and that she doubt she was built for it. She said she hopes she won't wake up one day and regret that it was right in front of her the whole time. What does that mean? Am I just a friend to her?
But well, we patched up rather fast, as though nothing happened. But yeah another problem is my jealousy, I know I shouldn't, but I did make it known to her I was jealous whenever she was with male friends, which is just moronic. Giving her power and all. Urgh. (Good articles btw) And well, she said she wouldn't do anything to pique my jealousy after we quarrelled. but the day before, whilst we were texting, she just casually let it be known that she was on a date, and she was miserable cause the guy was boring, and well I called her, talked to her, and she seemed happy and willing enough to, even whilst on a date. I asked her out, and she kind of agreed, and said she'll find time in her schedule next week. But she keeps insisting on playing games? (Or am I wrong?) We were having a random conversation, and she said she was shopping, but ran out of money, and could easily get a sugar daddy, giggling all the time. It was just awkward, and she apologised. She knows I get jealous, is she playing a game?
Yesterday, she kind of surprised me by asking my boss to take me down to lunch just to meet her (didn't know until I got there) as she worked in the same place before. She was a more than a little flirty, teasing, touchy (swatting, pinching, hitting incessently) so I hope that's good?
I've been trying not to contact her so much to appear needy or so, but I don't know if I can salvage any of that. She clearly knows that I like her, and she can exploit that. Haven't spoken to her for two days, and she hasn't contacted me. I'm afraid that if I don't, she'll lose interest, but if I do, it'll appear needy.
What should I do about this whole mess?
unless your talking devout Muslims, then none of the other religions matter and even then... It doesn't matter.... If you want to have a relationship with her that's what you need to do. I'll go as far as to say that's more than likely what she wants you to do. 
