Hi all,
TLDR: I'm getting 2-3 numbers a week from daygame but my number to date ratio is probably about 1 in every 6 - how can I increase it?
Process
This is based of my process
here. I'm seeding the date conversation on the 1st approach & following up with warm voice notes that say nice but random to meet you, what's your schedule like/ does that time & day still work?
Where things end
Girls either ignore the opening message (which I actually don't mind as they were just not into me). Or they respond nicely but we never nail down a day because they're flaky & non-committal e.g. saying they're free Friday but they don't reply when I try to nail down an exact time or most recently a student saying "I'll let you know as I may be tired after lectures" lol.
What I'm considering
Taking less numbers depending on how down she seems.
Qualifying girls out and saying "hey if you aren't fully single no hard feelings & it was nice meeting you anyway". Only issue with this approach is I'll lose out on girls who don't seem that interested but may pleasantly surprise me.
Alternatively I keep going as is
It may be that my number to date ratio is pretty normal and that's just part of the game.
Bonus Question
I'm considering picking up online again on the side as it's the only other avenue available to meet girls atm. If anyone is still getting results in a Western city, let me know what's working and how to make it super streamlined e.g. automation tools & best time's to get replies etc.
I like the level of analysis here.
I like that you wrote out your process.
And I think your number to date ratio is decent for the process outlined. That is 1 out of 6 numbers is a good thing in 2021.
Without changing your process or questioning your goals, I would focus on amping up the emotions during all steps of the process.
1) Your Outfit
My guidelines (for guys that are lurking)
- Don't smell like a bum, always smell good (wash your balls bro, and everything else.)
- Don't look like a bum
- Don't dress the same as other guys do in your demographic. (For me, that's guys wearing Jordans and Jerseys)
- If you want to look "normal" - make sure everything is better quality, better fitting, and better coordinated.
That is, most guys in the winter are dark coat + sweater + long sleeve shirt + mask + hat + jeans + boots. (usually no jewelry or other accessories - if he has them on, they're hard to see)
So instead of a grey/black coat - you go military.
Long sleeve button up? Go with a waffle shirt.
Mask - basic blue surgical? Buy something that coordinates
Even if you're wearing the same basic stuff, you need to look better.
Consider adopting an archetype rather than wearing a Ralph Lauren Polo vs a Walmart Polo.
How would a punk rocker dress for the snow?
A hip hopper?
A country music listener?
A guy that works in an office?
The goal here is that when she texts her girlfriends later, this cute Armenian Folk Dancer talked to her.
She has a way to describe you visually - which reinforces the impression you made on her.
Your clothes, your hair, your accessories, your physique, your word choice - they all tell a story, and the more it diverges from the norm, but stays within acceptable limits, the more memorable you are, and the more she can imagine/fantasize.
Peacocking and Dressing
Me personally? My fro is big and curly and girls/women want to touch it. So they remember how I look, I am an image in her mind. A lion's mane.
When I was younger and really hitting the clubs, I'd pick my t-shirts specifically. When it went from dance clubs to bars, a pink dress shirt with deep red silk knots would catch the eye and tell a story. A pink shirt is a point of contention among men and it often involves having to shut some random dude down - but that gives me an opportunity to AMOG in front of a female. Or if she get something to say, she'll say it, and that's an approach invitation disguised as a shit test....
I digress.
Making changes at this stage should bump up your conversion rate, because has more to think about, more to feel later on.
2) Approach (More Angle of Approach)
Not the way I would do it necessarily, but it's your method. And there isn't much
good emotion you can add here. You can certainly pop up and scare her, but that's less than ideal.
3) Openers (more first words than what I consider open)
What this describes are the first words you actually say to a girl. I don't consider this an opener, even though that might be PUA heresy.
In my experience it's rare that the first words
actually open the conversation because - what I consider an open conversation is the road to the social hook point.
If you're doing approaches in broad day light with a moving or already busy target (not the type that's standing around socializing) - in my experience - there's only high risk/high emotion first words.
YOU, STOP RIGHT THERE. FASHION POLICE...
OMG, YOU'RE WEARING A MINI SKIRT, ARE YOU FREEZING, LEMME WARM YOU UP...
Great if you're 20 and she's 19. I'm in my 40s and I would have a hard time pulling this on a chick in her late 20s/early 30s during the day time.
You can be creative here, but the ultimate key is what you have below.
4) Follow Up Conversation (How to get to the social hook point)
The social hook point is where she's become so involved in the chat, she doesn't want you to walk away, because she's getting so much emotional stimulation and engagement. She's not just getting it from you, she's giving it to you, and her acts of giving actually gets her more into it.
So this is very context specific.
But after your first words, after your sub-communications let her know this is a sexual/romantic approach (direct)/display of an interesting personality (indirect), she has a list of go to emotional responses for you to trigger and play with. (because in my reality, that's what this is. Showing up, pushing her buttons, getting her to want more of that)
But she must be lead, imo. You have to do the work.
AFC's ask questions.
Newbie PUAs use tactics (stories, jokes, cold reads, games, etc)
What happens here this post first words chat is the what makes her answer your texts.
In short this has to be the best 5 minutes of her day, week, month.
In my opinion, that's the goal you should be looking to. 300 seconds of her laughing, crying, shouting, jumping up and down, filled with wonder/dread/despair...and then returned to her normal state of being...with the idea that she can get more....if she hangs out again
This is where you'll make your most headway in turning that 1:6 (which I think is good) into 1:3
How you accomplish this is why it's Pick Up Artistry not Pick Up Science.
That said, whatever you do - you are going to plant an emotional seed.
- Call back humor
- Nickname
- "Anchor"
Whatever it is needs to be incorporated into the strongest part of your process. This will tie to step 5
4.5) The Number Close
I think you need to break this out in your outline, because it ties into
- time bridge by making plans, and the number is incidental
- de-escalate the emotions, get the number, and then time your next message to when she's in the same headspace
- devalidate her and escalate the emotions - "you're not gonna call" "Oh i'm so gonna call" -
5) The Follow Up Message (Switching from offline to online + time gap + tech)
No matter how good or hot you are, if she's young/cute/attractive she has more options than you (though probably not BETTER options than you because, let's face it, you're the shit and most other guys are losers)
She has more guys calling her. More social media pings. Her school, work, friends, family, pet, etc.
So when you hit her up again, using the basic text rules,
you want to tie back to the initial meeting. See step 4.
Over text, you want those feelings to come back, and in that moment hit her with a low effort way to meet up with you. Make it easy for her to say yes, and she's in a position
If it's a "formal" date like "drinks" or "coffee" - that puts pressure on her. That might be a good thing, might be a bad thing.
Dates/one on one meets = creates a flake possibility situation.
But if you have her come out to something where she doesn't feel will be the focus of your attention (and you're gonna be there anyway havngi fun), it might be an easier sell.
Just my thoughts, please feel free to criticize.
WIA