How to know if the girl is locked in or converted

[empath]

When Is a Girl "Locked In"?​

The consensus is that after sleeping with a girl three times, she is locked in, and you can relax a bit and shift her into chase mode.


But how do you know for sure that she’s locked in, especially if she’s a "normal" girl (not a nympho, etc.)?

What I Want to Know:​

• When can I chill out and stop feeling the need to meet her constantly?
• What behaviors indicate that she’s locked in?
• Besides sleeping together three times, what else helps solidify her investment?
• Does she become more compliant, or show other signs of attachment?

I basically don’t want to keep worrying that some other guy will swoop in. Ideally, once she’s locked in, I want her to come to me for sex instead of me chasing her.

 

[Will_V]

When Is a Girl "Locked In"?​

The consensus is that after sleeping with a girl three times, she is locked in, and you can relax a bit and shift her into chase mode.


But how do you know for sure that she’s locked in, especially if she’s a "normal" girl (not a nympho, etc.)?

What I Want to Know:​

• When can I chill out and stop feeling the need to meet her constantly?
• What behaviors indicate that she’s locked in?
• Besides sleeping together three times, what else helps solidify her investment?
• Does she become more compliant, or show other signs of attachment?

I basically don’t want to keep worrying that some other guy will swoop in. Ideally, once she’s locked in, I want her to come to me for sex instead of me chasing her.

The behavior of a girl who's locked in is essentially one where she is actively trying to advance the relationship on your terms.

The 'on your terms' part means she's very enthusiastic to have sex whenever you want, very amenable to all sorts of suggestions and hints, willing to go out of her way to see you or be with you, taking the initiative to try and help you and improve your life, and not argumentative. This is the most reliable metric of female commitment, in my opinion - how adaptable and pliable she is in and out of the bedroom. It's the ultimate female offer of "I'll be whatever you want whenever you want, just say the words". When she's losing interest or respect, checking out, or feels like she has you under her thumb, the first thing to go is this willingness and enthusiasm - it's basically impossible for a woman to pretend that she's this way when she's not. The funny thing is most guys never get this from her at all, so they don't realize how weak their relationship is to begin with, and are blindsided when it fails catastrophically.

The 'advance the relationship' part means she's doing the usual stuff like texting you often, trying to get you to do and say things that imply investment in her, and basically pushing and prodding you toward more and more commitment.

When you have these two things from a woman, I would say your relationship is on very solid ground.

But that doesn't mean it will stay that way. Women need to be in an advancing relationship, you can't just 'spin plates' forever as the redpillers suggest. She eventually needs kids and (as my dad likes to say) a retirement plan, and she knows she doesn't have forever to get the ball rolling.

And just because she's 'locked in' doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You still need to give her great sex, be a strong leader, pass her regular tests, and remain the sort of man that fills her thoughts through the days and nights. A woman's desire is never owned, only earned continually.

 

[Stark]

Locked in doesn’t mean she’ll drop all other guys from her roaster. It just means that you’re one of her top sexual options and possibly more.

Let’s say the girl is seeing another guy in addition to you and both of you are almost similar in what you offer her.
I’m assuming both of you make her cum everytime you meet and have sex(atleast in one of the sessions).

Guess who she will choose as she makes decision to go exclusive?

The one who cares the least (if she stays or leaves.)

 

[empath]

Locked in doesn’t mean she’ll drop all other guys from her roaster. It just means that you’re one of her top sexual options and possibly more.

Let’s say the girl is seeing another guy in addition to you and both of you are almost similar in what you offer her.
I’m assuming both of you make her cum everytime you meet and have sex(atleast in one of the sessions).

Guess who she will choose as she makes decision to go exclusive?

The one who cares the least (if she stays or leaves.)

I think then my question should be when will she start pushing for relationship herself and wanting to go exclusive with me.

I have had sex with her 2 times but she is a party girl and now when we were planning for 3rd time she was busy/tired.

I guess only option I have is to kickback and let her come to me.

Also, to contrast there were girlfriends who for no aparant reason dropped other guys themselve.

How do I trigger this in the girl consciously.


Even a girl I am seeing but slept with yet (she being a virgin and busy with studies) said it that she herself is stopping to talk to other guys.

 

[empath]

The behavior of a girl who's locked in is essentially one where she is actively trying to advance the relationship on your terms.

The 'on your terms' part means she's very enthusiastic to have sex whenever you want, very amenable to all sorts of suggestions and hints, willing to go out of her way to see you or be with you, taking the initiative to try and help you and improve your life, and not argumentative. This is the most reliable metric of female commitment, in my opinion - how adaptable and pliable she is in and out of the bedroom. It's the ultimate female offer of "I'll be whatever you want whenever you want, just say the words". When she's losing interest or respect, checking out, or feels like she has you under her thumb, the first thing to go is this willingness and enthusiasm - it's basically impossible for a woman to pretend that she's this way when she's not. The funny thing is most guys never get this from her at all, so they don't realize how weak their relationship is to begin with, and are blindsided when it fails catastrophically.

The 'advance the relationship' part means she's doing the usual stuff like texting you often, trying to get you to do and say things that imply investment in her, and basically pushing and prodding you toward more and more commitment.

When you have these two things from a woman, I would say your relationship is on very solid ground.

But that doesn't mean it will stay that way. Women need to be in an advancing relationship, you can't just 'spin plates' forever as the redpillers suggest. She eventually needs kids and (as my dad likes to say) a retirement plan, and she knows she doesn't have forever to get the ball rolling.

And just because she's 'locked in' doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You still need to give her great sex, be a strong leader, pass her regular tests, and remain the sort of man that fills her thoughts through the days and nights. A woman's desire is never owned, only earned continually.

What to do if she was doing this but suddenly pulled back.

Cause I fucked up somewhere before the emotional connection was solidified.

As in before talk of serious dating began from her side.

 

[Stark]

I think then my question should be when will she start pushing for relationship herself and wanting to go exclusive with me.

Once you lock her in and you’re clearly above her in terms of life-style and showing you off in front of her social circle elevates her - she starts pushing for girlfriend status . Provided she was not in a hoe phase while you met her.

If she’s still in the hoe phase(which this girl seems to be) , you need to be the most non-needy guy she ever met.
You would need to top the sexual experience on each meet.

She should clearly know(convey with your vibe and circumstantial evidence) that you’re banging other girls.

You pitch each meet but never build emotional bonding in an overt manner. That’s her task.

She’ll do that soon enough if you don’t put yourself in the boyfriend role early. If you do that she’ll next you. She’s looking for fun and unattached excitement at this point. Offer that by being the best lover she’s ever had. She’ll start getting needy for you soon enough .

And keep seeing her only once a week. If you push for anything more then you’ll lose her.

 

[empath]

Once you lock her in and you’re clearly above her in terms of life-style and showing you off in front of her social circle elevates her - she starts pushing for girlfriend status . Provided she was not in a hoe phase while you met her.

If she’s still in the hoe phase(which this girl seems to be) , you need to be the most non-needy guy she ever met.
You would need to top the sexual experience on each meet.

She should clearly know(convey with your vibe and circumstantial evidence) that you’re banging other girls.

You pitch each meet but never build emotional bonding in an overt manner. That’s her task.

She’ll do that soon enough if you don’t put yourself in the boyfriend role early. If you do that she’ll next you. She’s looking for fun and unattached excitement at this point. Offer that by being the best lover she’s ever had. She’ll start getting needy for you soon enough .

And keep seeing her only once a week. If you push for anything more then you’ll lose her.

Yeah in a hoe phase.

Recent break-up from a 2 year LTR.

I am her 2nd lover post it.

1st one she did not liked.

She pushed for the 2nd meet.

Now she is pulling back. (Probably busy)

Now how do I casually set up a meet for 3rd sex.

What worked first time was me playing hard to get.

But now I am a bit in negative compliance.

I tried setting up a casual meet 3rd time (twice but got negative compliance).

Still sent her a BIHC, she responded being busy with work.

 

[Will_V]

What to do if she was doing this but suddenly pulled back.

Cause I fucked up somewhere before the emotional connection was solidified.

As in before talk of serious dating began from her side.

It's very hard to say.

How locked in a girl is is a function of:

- The way you first met her
- The way you have sex with her
- The way you treat her afterward
- The way you navigate her tests (which are ongoing)
- The way she sees you behave in many different contexts
- The way you set frames and precedents in the relationship
- The path along which you allow the relationship to develop
- etc

It's not a binary thing of either she's locked in or not, or that at some point you just let go of the controls and everything keeps going smoothly.

She pushed for the 2nd meet.

Now she is pulling back. (Probably busy)

What do you think happened during/after the second time you slept together that shifted things in a negative way?

 

[empath]

It's very hard to say.

How locked in a girl is is a function of:

- The way you first met her
- The way you have sex with her
- The way you treat her afterward
- The way you navigate her tests (which are ongoing)
- The way she sees you behave in many different contexts
- The way you set frames and precedents in the relationship
- The path along which you allow the relationship to develop
- etc

It's not a binary thing of either she's locked in or not, or that at some point you just let go of the controls and everything keeps going smoothly.



What do you think happened during/after the second time you slept together that shifted things in a negative way?

Tuesday night

After 2nd meet of sex. I wanted her to stay over but she had work so she left.

So, I just slept being non-chalant, told her to close the door.

Sex was very passionate.

So while I was acting like a jerk. She still kissed me.

Then sent me a text she reached home safely.

Next day I guess some good moring text to which I reacted with a heart.

Wednesday night

I was sloshed with my buddies

To show her the party lifestyle. Sent the pic of venue.

She replied u seem high/having fun.

I replied too sloshed, good I am not with you
- she did not replied

Thursday

She just sent good morning

Not replying to my text.

I reacted heart to her text.

In evening she sent me a text. -Everything all right?

I replied nothing was out (playing cool)

I realised I might put her into auto rejection so

I asked how was her day.
Not replied.


Friday
We both were partying

I shared pic of my venue.

No reaction from her.

I texted her if she wanna meet lmk.

She said she is out.

I said I am out to, I mean once we both are back.

Saturday
She I was too late yesterday, lets meet today.

Ok

She time?

Me: Wait, having lunch

She: ok

Me: done with lunch wby

- no reply from her


After 5-6 hours.

At 11:30 if you are free.

She: whats the plan

Me: walk and drinks and lets see where it goes.

She: walking doesnt help legs hurt
she: i will stay home

Me: cool we can just sit if you want to

Promise not to hurt your legs further

No reply

Here I was getting needy

Me: Let the thought marinate

Me: wrote a short sensual poem

She:

Me: demons inside me want to go out or some poetic shit

She: tomorrow

Me: tomorrow I will be sane


No reply

Sunday
No reply from her.

I also did not text.

Monday

me: Ohh, I see...you seem to be very busy these next few days (around 4)

She: It's because of Companies work (instant reply)

Me: psstt... My personal nightmare (she read this, blue tick)

Me: I just started working on a new one today ( she did not saw this msg)