When Is a Girl "Locked In"?
The consensus is that after sleeping with a girl three times, she is locked in, and you can relax a bit and shift her into chase mode.
But how do you know for sure that she’s
locked in, especially if she’s a "normal" girl (not a nympho, etc.)?
What I Want to Know:
- When can I chill out and stop feeling the need to meet her constantly?
- What behaviors indicate that she’s locked in?
- Besides sleeping together three times, what else helps solidify her investment?
- Does she become more compliant, or show other signs of attachment?
I basically don’t want to keep worrying that some other guy will swoop in. Ideally, once she’s locked in, I want her to come to
me for sex instead of me chasing her.
The behavior of a girl who's locked in is essentially one where she is actively trying to advance the relationship
on your terms.
The 'on your terms' part means she's very enthusiastic to have sex whenever you want, very amenable to all sorts of suggestions and hints, willing to go out of her way to see you or be with you, taking the initiative to try and help you and improve your life, and not argumentative. This is the most reliable metric of female commitment, in my opinion - how adaptable and pliable she is in and out of the bedroom. It's the ultimate female offer of "I'll be whatever you want whenever you want, just say the words". When she's losing interest or respect, checking out, or feels like she has you under her thumb, the first thing to go is this willingness and enthusiasm - it's basically impossible for a woman to pretend that she's this way when she's not. The funny thing is most guys never get this from her at all, so they don't realize how weak their relationship is to begin with, and are blindsided when it fails catastrophically.
The 'advance the relationship' part means she's doing the usual stuff like texting you often, trying to get you to do and say things that imply investment in her, and basically pushing and prodding you toward more and more commitment.
When you have these two things from a woman, I would say your relationship is on very solid ground.
But that doesn't mean it will stay that way. Women need to be in an advancing relationship, you can't just 'spin plates' forever as the redpillers suggest. She eventually needs kids and (as my dad likes to say) a retirement plan, and she knows she doesn't have forever to get the ball rolling.
And just because she's 'locked in' doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You still need to give her great sex, be a strong leader, pass her regular tests, and remain the sort of man that fills her thoughts through the days and nights. A woman's desire is never owned, only earned continually.
