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LR  Long bad streak finally ended!

Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
Rant: Some of you here know that I was struggling for a long time after covid started and I was grinding a lot. My text game was horrible and if you read my previous posts you'll know I was in a catch-22 situation for a long time, not getting laid was killing my confidence and was making me needy and my neediness was not helping me get laid. So, that ended finally today!

Approach: After finishing work on Tuesday, being dog tired, half-heartedly went out. Just pushed myself to just at least go out. I normally take a certain route to go walking and finish a loop back home but just felt like taking a detour and went walking in a different direction. It was around 15-20 mins after I had left home, I saw a hot tall (taller than me) super-cute blonde wandering slowly at a distance. There were people sitting close to where she was walking and I was a bit hesitant to approach and waited until they were a bit out of sight from us. But she was just wandering there very slowly and didn't look like she'll move away anytime soon and I knew that I'll get into my head if I delay and just thought "fuck it" and went to her smiled and said "hey, you look super cute". She laughed very loudly and said "thank you" and kept walking. I continued "are you dutch?" and she said "why? Cos I'm tall?". I said "no, cos of your accent". She kept laughing and said "no, I'm German". I said "your accent sounds similar". She said "yes, they're actually quite similar". We walked around 100mtrs and I asked her to stop. We were talking standing near a traffic signal. I told her that I was in Amsterdam for nearly a year and she was a bit amused. Then she started asking about me and asked if I'm local and what I do. I told yes I'm local and talked a bit about my work and then she said she's studying to become a nurse back home and she's here on a working holiday visa. She came here 4 days ago. I asked what brought her here and she said "not sure, just exploring". I know a few words in German and I told you're a "verructus huun" (crazy chicken). She laughed and said "how do you know? But I'm exactly like that".

Bounce: I asked her what was she doing now? She said nothing. I suggested to grab a coffee at Starbucks and go for a walk. She was all ready to go. We went to Starbucks, I had a few coffee on my app, got her one and I got one for myself and headed out. I started walking towards the harbour and told her it's beautiful there and let's go there. She said she's been there but would be happy to go again. So, I said, no, then let's go to another place. As I was walking, there was a lot of accidental/deliberate touching. We went walking towards another beautiful view point and along the way asked about her traveling experiences. She said, she has traveled a lot of Europe but outside that, she's been to NY and said Spain is her favorite destination. Then asked me, what my favorite place was. I said Israel and she was amazed about my stories of Israel. I totally forgot that she was German and started talking about Jews etc. Then I asked if she's aware of Judaism? She said obviously since she's German. Then I laughed and said I totally forgot that. She was very captivated about my experiences in Israel but I slowly tried to move away from that subject since it was a bit sensitive. Then I asked what she does for fun. She mentioned that she liked hanging out with friends, learning about history, riding motorbikes. I said that's amazing and we talked a bit about all 3 topics and she was all captivated. I said, when you were saying those, in my mind I was thinking +10 points. She was very happy and said I quickly got 30 points. I asked if she smokes and she said no. She asked if smoking adds another 10 points? I said no, it would've got you -10 points. I told her about some of my friends who are addicted to smoking and how I find it so hard to hangout with them. She appeared very pleased and qualified a lot about why she doesn't like smoking etc. Then I looked at her hand and said "give me your hand". I took hand and said "you actually do have self control". She asked what does that mean? I said "your fore finger and ring finger are the same length". So you must be someone balanced in life. She asked me to explain more. I said, if your fore finger and ring finger are equal, you're somewhat balanced in life. If your fore finger is shorter than your ring finger, one has a lot of control on their mind and emotions and are generally dominant and if fore finger is longer than your ring finger, then they're generally submissive. She asked me, to show my fingers. I said I'm dominant and looked deep in her eyes. She put her head down and said, haha.. you're not hesitant to say that. I said no, cos I know I am. Since I had pushed too far, I slowly pulled away and changed the topic back to history and told her about how I loved visiting Rome and I'm a big fan of gladiator movie and went to see colosseum. She said even she has visited and talked a bit about Rome. We talked a bit about Cleopatra and how she knew 8 languages and I'm very fascinated about everything about her. She started qualifying saying even she can speak 4 languages. I said, then you're almost close to becoming the next Cleopatra and she loved it. She said she also has been to Pompeii. I told I haven't been there but I have watched a lot of videos related to Pompeii and what exactly stood out to me was how the city was planned to have houses of prostitutes arranged according to their class. She started laughing and said, of all the things that fascinated you, making strong eye contact. Then she asked me, what was that look? I said I see that you're pretending to be ignorant but I feel you're actually a different person. She asked me to explain. I said, those fall under "premium membership". She laughed and said that was actually a good one. Then it started to get cold and I was about to bounce her home and asked if she likes to drink but she said she doesn't like for the sake of it but she has a few odd drinks here and there. She continued saying "I actually have a phone call planned with my friend in Germany and I need to get back soon". I said "tell your friends that you met an amazing guy and they can wait but you don't want to miss this opportunity". She told, ya that's true. But how about meeting this amazing guy another time? I shook my head unamused with a smirk and took her number. We started walking again and continued talking about how I have so many friends in Germany and all the places that I know etc. I said I'll tell her more when we meet next time and we bid farewell.

Texting: Most difficult part of my game. I followed every rule in the book to the T. I didn't text her until next day afternoon. So, here is how it went:


Epic sex: Brought her from downstairs and she was giggling all the while in the elevator. Got home and once she removed the shoes, took her to balcony and I was a bit nervous. Chatted some random stuff for 5 mins and got inside. Poured wine for both of us and continued talking for another 2-3 mins and my nervousness was still kicking and I remembered all the numerous times I've fucked up by not going for it. So, made a strong eye contact while talking and touched her earing and said it looks nice. She didn't flinch and I knew I can go ahead now. Suggested to sit down and as we sat down, started brushing her hair for a few seconds and just went for the make out. Knew I had to pull away but she was too sweet to let go but I did pull away. Said, you're a good kisser and she said you're the same and I said I know, with a smirk. Then took 3 breaks before gradually amping the duration of each make out. Started nibbling her neck and ears. I think that was her weak point and she put her hand on my dick and started stroking it. Since she was wearing jacket, I hadn't noticed but she had massive boobs. I unhooked her bra with my left hand while squeezing her butt and making out. She sat on my lap on the couch and we made it for 20-30 mins with a few breaks in-between. If a girl is a good kisser, I'm not at all eager to penetrate. So, enjoyed making out and then she suggested we should go inside on the bed. I have suffered from premature ejaculation for most of my life. But during covid, I had time to learn everything relating to that and now I can go for hours and can finish only when I want. I have tried everything and finally I've found my recipe for endless sex with a lot of trial and error (can make another post altogether). I used every rule in the book of cunnilingus and gave her a few orgasms. I love going down on girls. I can eat pussy for hours. Anyway, she gave me an amazing bj for nearly 10 mins until her mouth started hurting. Then I went down on her again for around 10-15 mins and she came a few more times. Then I was all set to enter her. I have a wedge pillow which was inaugurated today. Went missionary to begin with, followed by cow-girl, doggy. Asked if she wants to try something new and she said, sure of course. I have kneeling chair which I wanted to experiment on and tried for 5 mins. Felt uncomfortable, so came back to the bed and went down on her for a few mins. Then she blew me for sometime while I used a vibrator for her to get off. I put on another condom and she said, I've already had 9 orgasms. I asked if she doesn't like it, she said she does like it but she's tired. Then I went to spoon her and thought I should finish off. I'm doing semen-retention and didn't want to ejaculate but she looked a bit suspicious that I'm not cumming. So, I decided to cum and then after spooning for 5-10 mins, shot a load of cum on her boobs and face. Accidentally I shot in her eye and she started crying and laughing at the same time. I orgasmed like it's end of the world. She cleaned up and came back and lay beside me for 10-15 mins and said she'll go back and I said, all good and got ready and sent her off near the main entrance.

She was gorgeous every inch and I couldn't stop complimenting her throughout our fucking marathon. I don't like to number girls. But hot or sexy is an understatement. I feel like a huge burden being lifted off of my shoulder after being dry for a year or longer. Feels good to write this after only having posted a lot of questions in the past. I've got a lot of help from this community and I'm really very thankful for that...
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,645
Rant: Some of you here know that I was struggling for a long time after covid started and I was grinding a lot. My text game was horrible and if you read my previous posts you'll know I was in a catch-22 situation for a long time, not getting laid was killing my confidence and was making me needy and my neediness was not helping me get laid. So, that ended finally today!

Approach: After finishing work on Tuesday, being dog tired, half-heartedly went out. Just pushed myself to just at least go out. I normally take a certain route to go walking and finish a loop back home but just felt like taking a detour and went walking in a different direction. It was around 15-20 mins after I had left home, I saw a hot tall (taller than me) super-cute blonde wandering slowly at a distance. There were people sitting close to where she was walking and I was a bit hesitant to approach and waited until they were a bit out of sight from us. But she was just wandering there very slowly and didn't look like she'll move away anytime soon and I knew that I'll get into my head if I delay and just thought "fuck it" and went to her smiled and said "hey, you look super cute". She laughed very loudly and said "thank you" and kept walking. I continued "are you dutch?" and she said "why? Cos I'm tall?". I said "no, cos of your accent". She kept laughing and said "no, I'm German". I said "your accent sounds similar". She said "yes, they're actually quite similar". We walked around 100mtrs and I asked her to stop. We were talking standing near a traffic signal. I told her that I was in Amsterdam for nearly a year and she was a bit amused. Then she started asking about me and asked if I'm local and what I do. I told yes I'm local and talked a bit about my work and then she said she's studying to become a nurse back home and she's here on a working holiday visa. She came here 4 days ago. I asked what brought her here and she said "not sure, just exploring". I know a few words in German and I told you're a "verructus huun" (crazy chicken). She laughed and said "how do you know? But I'm exactly like that".

Bounce: I asked her what was she doing now? She said nothing. I suggested to grab a coffee at Starbucks and go for a walk. She was all ready to go. We went to Starbucks, I had a few coffee on my app, got her one and I got one for myself and headed out. I started walking towards the harbour and told her it's beautiful there and let's go there. She said she's been there but would be happy to go again. So, I said, no, then let's go to another place. As I was walking, there was a lot of accidental/deliberate touching. We went walking towards another beautiful view point and along the way asked about her traveling experiences. She said, she has traveled a lot of Europe but outside that, she's been to NY and said Spain is her favorite destination. Then asked me, what my favorite place was. I said Israel and she was amazed about my stories of Israel. I totally forgot that she was German and started talking about Jews etc. Then I asked if she's aware of Judaism? She said obviously since she's German. Then I laughed and said I totally forgot that. She was very captivated about my experiences in Israel but I slowly tried to move away from that subject since it was a bit sensitive. Then I asked what she does for fun. She mentioned that she liked hanging out with friends, learning about history, riding motorbikes. I said that's amazing and we talked a bit about all 3 topics and she was all captivated. I said, when you were saying those, in my mind I was thinking +10 points. She was very happy and said I quickly got 30 points. I asked if she smokes and she said no. She asked if smoking adds another 10 points? I said no, it would've got you -10 points. I told her about some of my friends who are addicted to smoking and how I find it so hard to hangout with them. She appeared very pleased and qualified a lot about why she doesn't like smoking etc. Then I looked at her hand and said "give me your hand". I took hand and said "you actually do have self control". She asked what does that mean? I said "your fore finger and ring finger are the same length". So you must be someone balanced in life. She asked me to explain more. I said, if your fore finger and ring finger are equal, you're somewhat balanced in life. If your fore finger is shorter than your ring finger, one has a lot of control on their mind and emotions and are generally dominant and if fore finger is longer than your ring finger, then they're generally submissive. She asked me, to show my fingers. I said I'm dominant and looked deep in her eyes. She put her head down and said, haha.. you're not hesitant to say that. I said no, cos I know I am. Since I had pushed too far, I slowly pulled away and changed the topic back to history and told her about how I loved visiting Rome and I'm a big fan of gladiator movie and went to see colosseum. She said even she has visited and talked a bit about Rome. We talked a bit about Cleopatra and how she knew 8 languages and I'm very fascinated about everything about her. She started qualifying saying even she can speak 4 languages. I said, then you're almost close to becoming the next Cleopatra and she loved it. She said she also has been to Pompeii. I told I haven't been there but I have watched a lot of videos related to Pompeii and what exactly stood out to me was how the city was planned to have houses of prostitutes arranged according to their class. She started laughing and said, of all the things that fascinated you, making strong eye contact. Then she asked me, what was that look? I said I see that you're pretending to be ignorant but I feel you're actually a different person. She asked me to explain. I said, those fall under "premium membership". She laughed and said that was actually a good one. Then it started to get cold and I was about to bounce her home and asked if she likes to drink but she said she doesn't like for the sake of it but she has a few odd drinks here and there. She continued saying "I actually have a phone call planned with my friend in Germany and I need to get back soon". I said "tell your friends that you met an amazing guy and they can wait but you don't want to miss this opportunity". She told, ya that's true. But how about meeting this amazing guy another time? I shook my head unamused with a smirk and took her number. We started walking again and continued talking about how I have so many friends in Germany and all the places that I know etc. I said I'll tell her more when we meet next time and we bid farewell.

Texting: Most difficult part of my game. I followed every rule in the book to the T. I didn't text her until next day afternoon. So, here is how it went:


Epic sex: Brought her from downstairs and she was giggling all the while in the elevator. Got home and once she removed the shoes, took her to balcony and I was a bit nervous. Chatted some random stuff for 5 mins and got inside. Poured wine for both of us and continued talking for another 2-3 mins and my nervousness was still kicking and I remembered all the numerous times I've fucked up by not going for it. So, made a strong eye contact while talking and touched her earing and said it looks nice. She didn't flinch and I knew I can go ahead now. Suggested to sit down and as we sat down, started brushing her hair for a few seconds and just went for the make out. Knew I had to pull away but she was too sweet to let go but I did pull away. Said, you're a good kisser and she said you're the same and I said I know, with a smirk. Then took 3 breaks before gradually amping the duration of each make out. Started nibbling her neck and ears. I think that was her weak point and she put her hand on my dick and started stroking it. Since she was wearing jacket, I hadn't noticed but she had massive boobs. I unhooked her bra with my left hand while squeezing her butt and making out. She sat on my lap on the couch and we made it for 20-30 mins with a few breaks in-between. If a girl is a good kisser, I'm not at all eager to penetrate. So, enjoyed making out and then she suggested we should go inside on the bed. I have suffered from premature ejaculation for most of my life. But during covid, I had time to learn everything relating to that and now I can go for hours and can finish only when I want. I have tried everything and finally I've found my recipe for endless sex with a lot of trial and error (can make another post altogether). I used every rule in the book of cunnilingus and gave her a few orgasms. I love going down on girls. I can eat pussy for hours. Anyway, she gave me an amazing bj for nearly 10 mins until her mouth started hurting. Then I went down on her again for around 10-15 mins and she came a few more times. Then I was all set to enter her. I have a wedge pillow which was inaugurated today. Went missionary to begin with, followed by cow-girl, doggy. Asked if she wants to try something new and she said, sure of course. I have kneeling chair which I wanted to experiment on and tried for 5 mins. Felt uncomfortable, so came back to the bed and went down on her for a few mins. Then she blew me for sometime while I used a vibrator for her to get off. I put on another condom and she said, I've already had 9 orgasms. I asked if she doesn't like it, she said she does like it but she's tired. Then I went to spoon her and thought I should finish off. I'm doing semen-retention and didn't want to ejaculate but she looked a bit suspicious that I'm not cumming. So, I decided to cum and then after spooning for 5-10 mins, shot a load of cum on her boobs and face. Accidentally I shot in her eye and she started crying and laughing at the same time. I orgasmed like it's end of the world. She cleaned up and came back and lay beside me for 10-15 mins and said she'll go back and I said, all good and got ready and sent her off near the main entrance.

She was gorgeous every inch and I couldn't stop complimenting her throughout our fucking marathon. I don't like to number girls. But hot or sexy is an understatement. I feel like a huge burden being lifted off of my shoulder after being dry for a year or longer. Feels good to write this after only having posted a lot of questions in the past. I've got a lot of help from this community and I'm really very thankful for that...
Good job your texting much improved, but the key is that you had a STRONG interaction... i personally would not have waited a day to text to keep momentum, but really good opener following the in person conversational thread.... built on this momentum and new confidence and go out and game more...
 

StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
723
YES! Over here celebrating with you @Shawn
Hard work pays off.

Notice how far focusing on building a connection got you. Some solid technical moves in here, to be certain. But you never overdid it, pulling back to connection building as a baseline. Nice pacing of the whole interaction as well. Texting included. You had the lead the entire time. Moving things forward in a steady, calibrated way. Not pushing the interaction before it's prime, as maybe you have been want to do in past interactions.

For real though, dude. Always knew you had it in you, and positive you have many more.
 

Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
Good job your texting much improved, but the key is that you had a STRONG interaction... i personally would not have waited a day to text to keep momentum, but really good opener following the in person conversational thread.... built on this momentum and new confidence and go out and game more...
If I fail, I wanted to fail going to the other extreme of not being needy. So, I took a long time to text.

Strong interaction really helped and my next goal is to be able to have run a good text game even if there was minimal interaction

YES! Over here celebrating with you @Shawn
Hard work pays off.

Notice how far focusing on building a connection got you. Some solid technical moves in here, to be certain. But you never overdid it, pulling back to connection building as a baseline. Nice pacing of the whole interaction as well. Texting included. You had the lead the entire time. Moving things forward in a steady, calibrated way. Not pushing the interaction before it's prime, as maybe you have been want to do in past interactions.

For real though, dude. Always knew you had it in you, and positive you have many more.
Thanks bro.. stopping over-gaming was the key. I was being very conscious these days to cut all the unwanted fluff with everything I was doing and that helped massively. Went back to the basics and kept it plain and simple - Law of least effort.

Btw, wonder if the timing was right for me to send this text to her. I replied to her today morning after liking her text. Wonder if it warrants a response or it was a fuck-up or something else, cos she didn't respond to it:

 
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StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
723
Btw, wonder if the timing was right for me to send this text to her. I replied to her today morning after liking her text. Wonder if it warrants a response or it was a fuck-up or something else, cos she didn't respond to it:

Give it time. She might reach out
7 am might have been a little early to text, but whatever. rule of thumb in general don't text a girl before 10 am (of course there are always exceptions)
I might have waited a bit longer and said a bit more. The call-back humor is nice and sexy but morning after texts are for two things 1: Highlight how much fun you two had 2: Cement the feeling of connection. The call-back humor only really does the first but not the second. Just the joke feels a bit cold and distant. important to follow it up with something more sincere. Honestly, I often don't even do callback/innuendo humor at this moment (unless it just feels natural to do so). I already gave her the time of her life. This isn't really the moment to play it super cool. Not saying go overboard and be way too eager. Just important to let her know there is a genuine connection and not just a one-and-done total fuck boy vibe. Only making the joke definitely comes across as the later

Me texting her the next day at 5 pm "Basking in the memory of last night. It really was a joy spending time. No doubt you're having a restfull evening, Mary"
More often than not after a text like this, I hear from her sometime in the next couple of days (granted I fucked her brains out) "Hey, Stray dog! how's things?"

This article has a section about setting up second dates after having had sex on the first. worth checking out
 
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Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,927
If I fail, I wanted to fail going to the other extreme of not being needy. So, I took a long time to text.

Strong interaction really helped and my next goal is to be able to have run a good text game even if there was minimal interaction


Thanks bro.. stopping over-gaming was the key. I was being very conscious these days to cut all the unwanted fluff with everything I was doing and that helped massively. Went back to the basics and kept it plain and simple - Law of least effort.

Btw, wonder if the timing was right for me to send this text to her. I replied to her today morning after liking her text. Wonder if it warrants a response or it was a fuck-up or something else, cos she didn't respond to it:


Something I've learned, once you've had sex, she belongs to you. As long as you're warm, comfortable and make her feel secure, it's usually just a question of inviting her over again. Your cock has already made more of an impression than any words could at this point, and any hint that you're still gaming her (rather than just enjoying being with her) comes off as insecurity.

For that last text, I think something more personal and direct would have gone down better, the energy of that message is a bit ambiguous. The word 'negotiation' (negotiations are in the past now) and mixing 'peaceful and intense' might make it hard for her to understand what you're communicating.

Remember she just got banged and she's feeling vulnerable, wondering what's next, she wants to know that you liked her and are happy with her and enjoyed it.
 

Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
Give it time. She might reach out
7 am might have been a little early to text, but whatever. rule of thumb in general don't text a girl before 10 am (of course there are always exceptions)
I might have waited a bit longer and said a bit more. The call-back humor is nice and sexy but morning after texts are for two things 1: Highlight how much fun you two had 2: Cement the feeling of connection. The call-back humor only really does the first but not the second. Just the joke feels a bit cold and distant. important to follow it up with something more sincere. Honestly, I often don't even do callback/innuendo humor at this moment (unless it just feels natural to do so). I already gave her the time of her life. This isn't really the moment to play it super cool. Not saying go overboard and be way too eager. Just important to let her know there is a genuine connection and not just a one-and-done total fuck boy vibe. Only making the joke definitely comes across as the later

Me texting her the next day at 5 pm "Basking in the memory of last night. It really was a joy spending time. No doubt you're having a restfull evening, Mary"
More often than not after a text like this, I hear from her sometime in the next couple of days (granted I fucked her brains out) "Hey, Stray dog! how's things?"

This article has a section about setting up second dates after having had sex on the first. worth checking out
Something I've learned, once you've had sex, she belongs to you. As long as you're warm, comfortable and make her feel secure, it's usually just a question of inviting her over again. Your cock has already made more of an impression than any words could at this point, and any hint that you're still gaming her (rather than just enjoying being with her) comes off as insecurity.

For that last text, I think something more personal and direct would have gone down better, the energy of that message is a bit ambiguous. The word 'negotiation' (negotiations are in the past now) and mixing 'peaceful and intense' might make it hard for her to understand what you're communicating.

Remember she just got banged and she's feeling vulnerable, wondering what's next, she wants to know that you liked her and are happy with her and enjoyed it.
Damn, I didn't even think so much when I texted her that. I thought she'll just as well reply saying, "ya it was fun" or something like that.

Btw, I'm not looking for a GF. Doesn't sounding too serious give off BF vibes?

Anyway, what now?:confused:
 
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Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,927
Damn, I didn't even think so much when I texted her that. I thought she'll just as well reply saying, "ya it was fun" or something like that.

Btw, I'm not looking for a GF. Doesn't sounding too serious give off BF vibes?

Not really imo, again you've already taken her to bed, it changes everything, the main thing is for her to feel good about it while she waits for you to invite her again.

Anyway, what now?:confused:
Ignore it, just do whatever you would do if she had replied, making sure to be positive and confident. You've already taken her to bed! She's yours. She wants you to lead things now.
 

Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
Not really imo, again you've already taken her to bed, it changes everything, the main thing is for her to feel good about it while she waits for you to invite her again.


Ignore it, just do whatever you would do if she had replied, making sure to be positive and confident. You've already taken her to bed! She's yours. She wants you to lead things now.
Ok. When should I text her?

I'm thinking of texting something like, "Had a great time last night. Hope you were able to rest today". Sounds good?
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,927
Ok. When should I text her?

I'm thinking of texting something like, "Had a great time last night. Hope you were able to rest today". Sounds good?
I can't tell you exactly what to say. It has to come from you, and be consistent with the way you've communicated until now.

I think you're overthinking this. She should be chasing you now. OK it doesn't always work like that but it's your frame now to run with. She just got boned, either she wants more or she doesn't.

This is an opportunity to get out of scarcity mentality. You know you've got it in you now, time to consolidate your gains instead of veering into chasing mode.

Ps Personally I'd give it a few days and send her some nice message. In the meantime take what you learned and make some more approaches
 
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Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
I can't tell you exactly what to say. It has to come from you, and be consistent with the way you've communicated until now.

I think you're overthinking this. She should be chasing you now. OK it doesn't always work like that but it's your frame now to run with. She just got boned, either she wants more or she doesn't.
You're right, I'm indeed overthinking cos I'm not sure what to do. If I double text her, I'll come across as chasing and if I don't text her like you guys suggested, she'll go into auto-rejection thinking that I was just after a ONS. I don't want either of that to happen.
 

Zoro

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
1,122
You're right, I'm indeed overthinking cos I'm not sure what to do. If I double text her, I'll come across as chasing and if I don't text her like you guys suggested, she'll go into auto-rejection thinking that I was just after a ONS. I don't want either of that to happen.

One of the best things you can learn is how to be ok with the worst case scenario.

Obviously you really like this girl and for good reason, you two had great chemistry.

But anchor yourself in your own life. What can you focus on that is important?

I agree with the others, doesn’t sound like you have much to worry about, but that’s besides the point. “If you’re not ok spending time alone with yourself, how can you expect others to?”

Anyways congrats on finding this girl, she seems like a sweet heart. Well done.

A note on texting: it’s good to remember that jokes often rely on context, body language, and voice tone to convey its intention correctly. Text jokes can go wrong if you forget that. Your text would be fine said in person with a warm smile and bringing her in for an embrace and kiss.

Another note: I love taking role play too far like you have been doing with this girl. And I love it when the girl is willing to play along. However in my experience, most girls will tire of it much sooner than this girl did. So be mindful to calibrate that kind of witty humor.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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You're right, I'm indeed overthinking cos I'm not sure what to do. If I double text her, I'll come across as chasing and if I don't text her like you guys suggested, she'll go into auto-rejection thinking that I was just after a ONS. I don't want either of that to happen.
Shawn you did fine but yeah cut that thread cause you are overdoing it, bur that was not too bad study this post

 
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StrayDog

Modern Human
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Feb 23, 2022
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723
Btw, I'm not looking for a GF. Doesn't sounding too serious give off BF vibes?
Being warm and being serious are very different. What will give off boyfriend vibes at this point is not so much the quality you bring to the interaction (warmth) but how you pace things over the next month or so.

You're right, I'm indeed overthinking cos I'm not sure what to do. If I double text her, I'll come across as chasing and if I don't text her like you guys suggested, she'll go into auto-rejection thinking that I was just after a ONS. I don't want either of that to happen.
Like the other guys said, she is basically yours now. As long as you made the right impression, and you come with confidence and clarity, she will follow your lead. You don't got to worry about all this. Just give it a moment then hit her up with confidence and clarity.

You are slipping back into a chasing mentality. You were in the lead this entire interaction. Nothing has changed. Get your mentality straight bro. You are the fucking man and these women will move mountains to be by your side. She is eagerly awaited your next move, nervous she wasn't good enough for you. Her silence isn't a sign of rejection its a sign that she is so into you she is flustered and doesn't know what to do next. That's why you step up and take the lead. That's the mentality you gotta come from. If she senses that this is not the case, that's when she will start to second guess things. Stay solid, don't slip into insecurity. Everything is cool

Oh also, go pick up some more babes
 
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Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
One of the best things you can learn is how to be ok with the worst case scenario.

Obviously you really like this girl and for good reason, you two had great chemistry.

But anchor yourself in your own life. What can you focus on that is important?

I agree with the others, doesn’t sound like you have much to worry about, but that’s besides the point. “If you’re not ok spending time alone with yourself, how can you expect others to?”

Anyways congrats on finding this girl, she seems like a sweet heart. Well done.

A note on texting: it’s good to remember that jokes often rely on context, body language, and voice tone to convey its intention correctly. Text jokes can go wrong if you forget that. Your text would be fine said in person with a warm smile and bringing her in for an embrace and kiss.

Another note: I love taking role play too far like you have been doing with this girl. And I love it when the girl is willing to play along. However in my experience, most girls will tire of it much sooner than this girl did. So be mindful to calibrate that kind of witty humor.
Hey @J Wick , thanks for this. I really needed this wake-up call again. I'm normally a very cheerful person and if a girl seems interested, I'd be grinning ear to ear while talking and this sometimes would come across as kiss-ass. But since having had a lot of rejections and all my skills and confidence going down the toilet for a long time, in the recent days I had become a bit cynical and started to be cold-hearted. So, I'd have a straight face without much laughing except for an occasional smile or smirk. I noticed that this inadvertently started helping me in a way that girls would take me more seriously. When I did some introspection, I realised that it was because my non-reaction comes across as confidence. Also, I realised that girls want someone who doesn't want someone to make them "happy". This all affected my inner-game tremendously and also as @StrayDog pointed in one of the posts, I totally dropped all the overly game-y stuff, except for some basic skills.

Regarding taking the role-play too far, I agree. I'm guilty of doing this a few times. But I was aware of this now and dropped it during the interaction (see my text conversation) but she'd bring it back. So, I was playing along. But looking back, I think I over-did.

Shawn you did fine but yeah cut that thread cause you are overdoing it, bur that was not too bad study this post

Bro, I looked at the thread and its good. In all of the text samples, the girl got back to you with something after you sent the text with fire emoji.
However, this girl didn't get back with any. So, it made me over-think.

BTW, although I agree with other comments that I should've been warmer, its in my nature to become very warm and lovey-dovey very quickly and take it to the other extreme, which will scare the girl away. So, I'm conscious of not doing that. Anyway, if she texts back, I'll try to be warm for a bit and drop gaming for sometime, at least.

Being warm and being serious are very different. What will give off boyfriend vibes at this point is not so much the quality you bring to the interaction (warmth) but how you pace things over the next month or so.


Like the other guys said, she is basically yours now. As long as you made the right impression, and you come with confidence and clarity, she will follow your lead. You don't got to worry about all this. Just give it a moment then hit her up with confidence and clarity.
Ya, if she doesn't get back to me, I'll hit her up in a couple of days with just a normal text asking how her weekend went or something like that.

You are slipping back into a chasing mentality. You were in the lead this entire interaction. Nothing has changed. Get your mentality straight bro. You are the fucking man and these women will move mountains to be by your side. She is eagerly awaited your next move, nervous she wasn't good enough for you. Her silence isn't a sign of rejection its a sign that she is so into you she is flustered and doesn't know what to do next. That's why you step up and take the lead.
Ok, could be possible that she is flustered. Cos when she came to my place, she looked too nervous until I kissed her. When I was talking about other things, she didn't seem to care about anything and she just wanted me to go for it. I asked her "Do you sing?" and she was not interested in any of that and so gave me a very irrelevant answer. That's when I went for it and after that she became comfortable very quickly.

That's the mentality you gotta come from. If she senses that this is not the case, that's when she will start to second guess things. Stay solid, don't slip into insecurity. Everything is cool
Sounds good..
Oh also, go pick up some more babes
Oh ya, yesterday this German girl was in my head all the time. When I went out, I was just thinking of her and I saw a Latina girl sitting and approached her. Had a quick chat and got her number. She responded to me quickly to my text also. But I didn't get back to her since she was average looking when compared to the German girl. I think I'm in borderline oneitis. Thanks for the wakeup call bro.

If not for this closely-knit community, I'd have stopped gaming a long time ago..
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Bro, I looked at the thread and its good. In all of the text samples, the girl got back to you with something after you sent the text with fire emoji.
However, this girl didn't get back with any. So, it made me over-think.

BTW, although I agree with other comments that I should've been warmer, its in my nature to become very warm and lovey-dovey very quickly and take it to the other extreme, which will scare the girl away. So, I'm conscious of not doing that. Anyway, if she texts back, I'll try to be warm for a bit and drop gaming for sometime, at least.
Is not warmers, also the other comments that cause you had sex this is a closed deal is totally flawed, as per my post you don't have the girl till minimum 3 sexual encounters.... 1 does not mean anything....

Your text was uncalibrated, no the worst, but again you overdid the "meet thread" so yeah when you meet a girl you want to keep the follow up plus meet on the thread....... After sex you don't use a "meet convo thread follow up" cause you then overdoing it comes across as weird = not good for seduction.... Per my advice the ideal text was "text me when you get home to make sure you got home ok" if she driving or ubber or "that was hot 3 fire emojis"

does not matter fake try to not do things= neediness...... women are good at feeling vibes and neediness very difficult too mask.... you need to be stoic icy, it comes down with experience sometimes being needy works, cause after you fuck up so many times for being needy is when you become icy/stoic. to cut that learning curve you need to fuck a girl that becomes super needy and clingy with you, this is the best, cause after you experience couple of those, and couple of break ups you naturally will become icey/stoick no needy..... Some of the good seducers are scary as fuck like they have no heart or emotions, i don't recommend this but they naturally become like that after gaming which makes them lethal...

anyways, to proceed with this girl follow these 2 other posts (but again you can not be needy for real in your heart, cause she will feel through text)

 
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Calibration

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 21, 2021
Messages
337
Is not warmers, also the other comments that cause you had sex this is a closed deal is totally flawed, as per my post you don't have the girl till minimum 3 sexual encounters.... 1 does not mean anything....

Your text was uncalibrated, no the worst, but again you overdid the "meet thread" so yeah when you meet a girl you want to keep the follow up plus meet on the thread....... After sex you don't use a "meet convo thread follow up" cause you then overdoing it comes across as weird = not good for seduction.... Per my advice the ideal text was "text me when you get home to make sure you got home ok" if she driving or ubber or "that was hot 3 fire emojis"

does not matter fake try to not do things= neediness...... women are good at feeling vibes and neediness very difficult too mask.... you need to be stoic icy, it comes down with experience sometimes being needy works, cause after you fuck up so many times for being needy is when you become icy/stoic. to cut that learning curve you need to fuck a girl that becomes super needy and clingy with you, this is the best, cause after you experience couple of those, and couple of break ups you naturally will become icey/stoick no needy..... Some of the good seducers are scary as fuck like they have no heart or emotions, i don't recommend this but they naturally become like that after gaming which makes them lethal...

anyways, to proceed with this girl follow these 2 other posts (but again you can not be needy for real in your heart, cause she will feel through text)

Just thinking of her naked, gets me a boner lol.. From what you're saying, if it's a done deal, it's a bit disappointing bro.

I agree with you totally on being stoic. I got a lot more respect these days, after I stopped laughing because I had become cold-hearted.

One more thing I forgot to write in the OP was, when I asked her "do you sing?", She said no and asked me, "what am I good at?". Probably she felt I was over qualifying her. I said, "I won't tell but I like to show" and when I was banging her hard, I said "now you know what I'm good at". and she smiled. I don't know if it was a bit arrogant to say that. That's the only fuck-up I can think of, other than going on and on about the role-play.

Bro, don't get me wrong, I have gone through your posts multiple times, your website, answers etc and I have learnt a lot but somehow that good morning with sun emoji doesn't suit my personality. I don't know how to explain but I find it hard to send that. I think it depends on the girls also. If she's very feminine like Latin girls, they may like it but European girls may not be able to relate.

So on Monday (which will be more than 3 days by then), I'll just send "hey cutie (hand waving emoji)" which is also very low investment ping like you say in your post. What do you think?
 
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StrayDog

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Is not warmers, also the other comments that cause you had sex this is a closed deal is totally flawed, as per my post you don't have the girl till minimum 3 sexual encounters.... 1 does not mean anything....
totally agree that it is not a done deal, but disagree 1 does not mean anything. Actually counts for a lot. It becomes more about sticking the landing at this point, and while yes failure is a very real possibility, you are bargaining with a lot more chips on the table. This is definitely a good reminder from @Skills though, to not rest on your laurels and slack on your mack. The flipside of slacking of course being overthinking things. The main point I have been aiming to make is that you can be confident that you are in the lead position and, if you made the right impression, she will continue to follow your lead as long as it is made with confidence and clarity. And absolutely do not chase.
Your text was uncalibrated, no the worst, but again you overdid the "meet thread" so yeah when you meet a girl you want to keep the follow up plus meet on the thread....... After sex you don't use a "meet convo thread follow up" cause you then overdoing it comes across as weird = not good for seduction.... Per my advice the ideal text was "text me when you get home to make sure you got home ok" if she driving or ubber or "that was hot 3 fire emojis"
Calibration really is what is key here. How "warm" or "cold" you present yourself really depends on a number of factors. The girl, the quality of interaction you had, the note you left things on, the quality of connection you intend to build, the precedence that was built through the progression of your seduction, and so on. Sending a "warmer" text can work well in lieu of post sex breakfast and serve a similar function, but obviously doesn't apply for all scenarios. Sending a "cooler" text can work for some women and be off-putting to others, sending them into auto reject. I don't think being a bit more sincere defacto slots you into instant boyfriend territory or comes across needy. The key is calibrating, taking the lead with confidence, and using a style that is consistent with who you are and how the interaction went down. Plus, I think we can all agree that "that was fire 3 fire emojis" is warmer than "negotiations were peaceful and intense" not because of the fire metaphor, but because it actually speaks to the quality of connection you two had and is basically a more cool way of saying "I had fun spending time with you." where as "negotiations..." is just super ambiguous and doesn't give her much of an impression of how you really felt about the whole thing.
One more thing I forgot to write in the OP was, when I asked her "do you sing?", She said no and asked me, "what am I good at?". Probably she felt I was over qualifying her. I said, "I won't tell but I like to show" and when I was banging her hard, I said "now you know what I'm good at". and she smiled. I don't know if it was a bit arrogant to say that. That's the only fuck-up I can think of, other than going on and on about the role-play.
This is kind of what I am getting at when I am saying that your mindset is still off a bit. You are over here worrying "was this the right thing, was that the wrong thing" Sure it can be helpful to consider all these things. That's how we learn and grow. But what is really important is that you forge onward with confidence. Take the lead, and adjust as you go. There is really no way of knowing how every minute detail lands with her. What is important is results. If one strategy doesn't quite work, use another. You haven't lost her until you lost her, and even then she might come back. Think abundance. I mean, if you had instant date slept with this girl
I saw a Latina girl sitting and approached her.
would you really be so hung up on german girl. What if you had three, four other women lined up? It is perfectly reasonable to want things to keep going with her, but you gotta think big picture. Not only will that help with your game in general, but it also stands to make you more successful with her. This victory is a bit like a power up in a video game. There is a lot you can do with it but it only lasts so long. Use this success to build momentum. I understand that Latina might not seem as appealing right now but, and maybe she is in fact not worth it, but don't turn away from opportunities just because you found one good success. Use that power up wisely, until you just become permanently powered up.
 

TomInHo

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591
totally agree that it is not a done deal, but disagree 1 does not mean anything. Actually counts for a lot. It becomes more about sticking the landing at this point, and while yes failure is a very real possibility, you are bargaining with a lot more chips on the table.

Nah! 1 bang means nothing nowadays. Like @Skills said it takes at least 2-3 bangs until the girl becomes a regular. It's nice if a girl starts chasing after the first lay but honestly never expect it

This is definitely a good reminder from @Skills though, to not rest on your laurels and slack on your mack. The flipside of slacking of course being overthinking things. The main point I have been aiming to make is that you can be confident that you are in the lead position and, if you made the right impression, she will continue to follow your lead as long as it is made with confidence and clarity. And absolutely do not chase.

Don't get tripped up on the chasing stuff. Just be persistent

If you haven't heard from her in 2-3 days just send her a morning text or eye emoji. Then banter for a bit and soft close her on a high point to setup another meet

Calibration really is what is key here. How "warm" or "cold" you present yourself really depends on a number of factors. The girl, the quality of interaction you had, the note you left things on, the quality of connection you intend to build, the precedence that was built through the progression of your seduction, and so on. Sending a "warmer" text can work well in lieu of post sex breakfast and serve a similar function, but obviously doesn't apply for all scenarios. Sending a "cooler" text can work for some women and be off-putting to others, sending them into auto reject.

Always send a morning text after sex. It's when girls tend to feel the most vulnerable and you don't need to be fancy

A simple "Good times last night" does wonders and it's very rare girls don't respond to that

This is kind of what I am getting at when I am saying that your mindset is still off a bit. You are over here worrying "was this the right thing, was that the wrong thing" Sure it can be helpful to consider all these things. That's how we learn and grow. But what is really important is that you forge onward with confidence. Take the lead, and adjust as you go. There is really no way of knowing how every minute detail lands with her. What is important is results. If one strategy doesn't quite work, use another. You haven't lost her until you lost her, and even then she might come back. Think abundance. I mean, if you had instant date slept with this girl would you really be so hung up on german girl. What if you had three, four other women lined up?

I see what you're getting at @StrayDog but @Shawn just ended a one year dry spell. It's normal for him to be a little worried and not feel 100% confident

That's why we are here to help him to avoid making silly mistakes due to his emotions

It is perfectly reasonable to want things to keep going with her, but you gotta think big picture. Not only will that help with your game in general, but it also stands to make you more successful with her.

Of course think bigger picture. But him knowing how to lock in this girl is also part of the bigger picture

There is a lot you can do with it but it only lasts so long. Use this success to build momentum. I understand that Latina might not seem as appealing right now but, and maybe she is in fact not worth it, but don't turn away from opportunities just because you found one good success. Use that power up wisely, until you just become permanently powered up.

I agree. Can't put all your eggs in one basket with this girl. Always have to keep your options open because even if things work out and you can lock her in, you still don't know her

@Shawn do your best to get this girl locked in but still keep your options open for other girls. This is just the beginning
 

StrayDog

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Nah! 1 bang means nothing nowadays. Like @Skills said it takes at least 2-3 bangs until the girl becomes a regular. It's nice if a girl starts chasing after the first lay but honestly never expect it
For real, means absolutely nothing? I mean I get what y'all are saying but one solid dick down is still more than none. Sure she might not be chasing yet, but you are still a step ahead having never slept together. Especially if the sex was good. What am I missing here?
Always send a morning text after sex. It's when girls tend to feel the most vulnerable and you don't need to be fancy

A simple "Good times last night" does wonders and it's very rare girls don't respond to that
Thanks for simplifying. I can be kind of long winded sometimes...

I see what you're getting at @StrayDog but @Shawn just ended a one year dry spell. It's normal for him to be a little worried and not feel 100% confident

That's why we are here to help him to avoid making silly mistakes due to his emotions
Yeah, definitely not aiming to harsh on you @Shawn improvement is a journey. Lord knows I have a ways to go before mastery (y'all probably know that too). @Shawn your openness to my advice has really helped me grow. all you other cats who are just next level, that includes you @TomInHo, setting the record straight when I am off base, hearing me out when I come with an angle, answering questions when I am in the dark. Invaluable! So big up everybody. We kick ass


Of course think bigger picture. But him knowing how to lock in this girl is also part of the bigger picture
So true. It's all related
 
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