LR Long bad streak finally ended!

[Will_V]

Ok, now this gives me some insight on what really happened with this girl. After she cleaned herself up, she came back and slept on me and kissed me. Then she lay in my arms putting her head on my chest for 10-15 mins. I was tired and so was quiet and not talking. Perhaps she thought I want her to leave and so wasn't talking. She said she'll leave. I immediately said OK. I think she wasn't expecting that I'd be so quick in saying that. So, she quickly got up gathered all her stuff in a rush and got ready within 1-2 mins and I noticed her facial expression changed towards me and wasn't making eye contact anymore. I thought she was just tired. Then when I saw her off, she hastily hugged me and left. I think the last nail on the coffin was when she texted me that she reached home safely, I didn't reply to her text until next morning. I don't know why I didn't. Tbh, I was probably still playing games in my mind. So, I strongly think she went to auto-rejection. All I knew was, if you want to give a girl the signs that you're not looking for a GF is to not let her sleep overnight. There's so much wrong information out there that sometimes you get overwhelmed with confusion.

Sounds like auto rejection yeah.

Something to remember, the experience of after first sex is very different for men and women. As they say women hold the power before sex, men hold the power after. Both can enjoy it obviously but the dynamic is totally different after.

Sex is a woman's biggest asset, she relies on men wanting it but most can't have it. When she gives it, she becomes very vulnerable emotionally (because now you could just walk away after she has given you the greatest reward she can give, she's been emotionally and physically penetrated, and in the old days that might also mean being left with your kid) whereas you feel like a champ who just conquered egypt.

Remember how women call the exit the walk of shame? Whereas for a guy it's the walk of pride.

Point being, you have to show some extra care after if you want her to feel comfortable. Like I said before, I always invite her to stay over if I like her, and even if I don't I chaperone her to her uber if it's at night. I prefer to have a lot of women in the world who feel like the time they spent with me was the best through and through.

I also like to cuddle, talk (I like to ask her what was her favourite thing we did, tell her what I liked doing to her etc) and just generally be a nice guy and build rapport - I just showed her the beast, now I can be the gentleman.

There was one time I decided not to see a girl again (she said some weird stuff that made me think she might be a bit unstable) but the sex was great, I took her to her uber, hugged and kissed her, and didn't send her any messages. A couple of weeks later I ran into her near where I picked her up, we had a warm brief conversation, she looked sad but smiled and gave me the sweetest, softest hug that I almost regretted things, but we parted ways and that was that. It's how I like to do things.

 

[Calibration]

See this is where learning the ways of subtle communication can go both ways. You can communicate with her in subtle ways.

If you connect with her deeply before sex and develop strong rapport with each other, well that sub-communicates that you want her mind and soul, not just her body. You frame the interaction as the start of an unfolding deeper relationship.

If you are just fun and flirty, but don't really peel back each other's layers, that frames the interaction a little differently, the focus is more on the fun and sexual chemistry.

Make sense?

Also think about this, if she is attractive and you like her, and you have developed a strong connection, that girl is a good candidate to evaluate further for a long term relationship, if that is what you're looking for. And if you're not even avaliable for a long term relationshop, than staying away from building too much rapport and deep connection with girls you just want to be casual with is something to be aware of, because then you will unintentionally send these girls mixed messages and they will start to pressure you for something more long term or get hurt when the expectations you hinted at are not met.

This is what I was trying to discuss with @StrayDog yesterday. If on one hand, you're just being flirty and fun, it's safe to not give her wrong signals but it's also hard to seduce if you're not connecting at a deeper level. This was my main sticking point until recently where I'd just be flirting and being a challenge, teasing etc. Like that example of saying "Mars" when the girl asked me where I'm from. This was just to tease her and from my body language and facial expressions, she'll know that I'm messing with her. On the other hand, if I'm connecting with her deeply and making her feel like she's able to relate, it's easy to get her emotionally closer but I'll be moving more and more towards bf territory. Still not sure what's the right approach tbh. As @Skills mentioned, it probably also comes down to calibration at micro level and macro level.

 

[Calibration]

Sounds like auto rejection yeah.

Something to remember, the experience of after first sex is very different for men and women. As they say women hold the power before sex, men hold the power after. Both can enjoy it obviously but the dynamic is totally different after.

Sex is a woman's biggest asset, she relies on men wanting it but most can't have it. When she gives it, she becomes very vulnerable emotionally (because now you could just walk away after she has given you the greatest reward she can give, she's been emotionally and physically penetrated, and in the old days that might also mean being left with your kid) whereas you feel like a champ who just conquered egypt.

Remember how women call the exit the walk of shame? Whereas for a guy it's the walk of pride.

Point being, you have to show some extra care after if you want her to feel comfortable. Like I said before, I always invite her to stay over if I like her, and even if I don't I chaperone her to her uber if it's at night. I prefer to have a lot of women in the world who feel like the time they spent with me was the best through and through.

I also like to cuddle, talk (I like to ask her what was her favourite thing we did, tell her what I liked doing to her etc) and just generally be a nice guy and build rapport - I just showed her the beast, now I can be the gentleman.

There was one time I decided not to see a girl again (she said some weird stuff that made me think she might be a bit unstable) but the sex was great, I took her to her uber, hugged and kissed her, and didn't send her any messages. A couple of weeks later I ran into her near where I picked her up, we had a warm brief conversation, she looked sad but smiled and gave me the sweetest, softest hug that I almost regretted things, but we parted ways and that was that. It's how I like to do things.

I kinda like this approach but imagine a girl who gets railed twice every week from a new guy from tinder, do you think she'll like it when you're warm to her after sex?

A few months ago, I was browsing a BDSM community and it was free messaging. So, I just hit up a random girl who looked moderately approachable from her pics and bio. It was gross talking to her after sometime, she was into some dark stuff like fisting etc. She was telling me how she enjoys fisting. For a girl like her, do you think being warm would still be necessary?

Btw, we never know how someone is for a long time. This German girl I hooked up with was probably an exception where she was alright but some of the girls are so fucked in the head, you won't know what their fantasies and past is like.

Edit: I think I'm thinking too much unnecessarily. Just ignore my above message. I'll just do what you guys normally do I.e., suggest her to stay back if I liked her or won't if I didn't like. Simple. I won't get into the technicalities. It's just mental masturbation.

 

[StrayDog]

This is what I was trying to discuss with @StrayDog yesterday. If on one hand, you're just being flirty and fun, it's safe to not give her wrong signals but it's also hard to seduce if you're not connecting at a deeper level. This was my main sticking point until recently where I'd just be flirting and being a challenge, teasing etc. Like that example of saying "Mars" when the girl asked me where I'm from. This was just to tease her and from my body language and facial expressions, she'll know that I'm messing with her. On the other hand, if I'm connecting with her deeply and making her feel like she's able to relate, it's easy to get her emotionally closer but I'll be moving more and more towards bf territory. Still not sure what's the right approach tbh. As @Skills mentioned, it probably also comes down to calibration at micro level and macro level.

again, I don't think that being a bit warm and establishing a bit of a human-to-human quality defacto puts you in the boyfriend quality. you are thinking too binarily about this. All that being more relatable is going to do (if you have a good lover frame) is have her saying "wow this guy is really easy to get along with, but he definitely doesn't seem like boyfriend material."

In terms of picking women up and being concerned that you will come across too boyfriend and not lover, building some sense of connection is not what will do that. What does that is how you frame the whole interaction. Connection is fundamental to intimacy. it's just a difference between "this connection seems like it is leading to a relationship" or "this connection seems like it is moving quickly towards orgasms." Still connection either way

 

[Calibration]

again, I don't think that being a bit warm and establishing a bit of a human-to-human quality defacto puts you in the boyfriend quality. you are thinking too binarily about this. All that being more relatable is going to do (if you have a good lover frame) is have her saying "wow this guy is really easy to get along with, but he definitely doesn't seem like boyfriend material."

In terms of picking women up and being concerned that you will come across too boyfriend and not lover, building some sense of connection is not what will do that. What does that is how you frame the whole interaction. Connection is fundamental to intimacy. it's just a difference between "this connection seems like it is leading to a relationship" or "this connection seems like it is moving quickly towards orgasms." Still connection either way

I think I get you now. In a way, you're right in saying that I think binarily but I'd rather say, I used to think linearly or in one dimension. Like in steps. After A, I have to do B and then C and so on, regardless of whether the girl is prepared for the next step or not. Just following the process blindly and not really noticing where the girl is at. I've been thinking more and more about my interactions and these days I'm realizing my mistakes. Sometimes I have to go from A to B and then all the way to F and then come back to C or sometimes go back to A etc. Basically, calibrating to the girl and the situation. I've come to realize that Calibration is huge. It's the fundamental of seduction I think. I used to be too set on the process and just go with the steps which sometimes would come across as autistic to the girl. I was stuck a lot in frame control. Although frame control is important, not being flexible sometimes comes across as weird. Believe it or not, I wasn't like this before. Although I wasn't consciously aware how I was behaving, I at least used to behave normally. I was good with normal social interaction. After consuming shit load of seduction material and discussing a lot with people who don't understand game (not to blame them but it was definitely a factor in why I used to do what I used to do), my mind got fucked up. A good thing about learning game anyway is, I'm now aware of my behaviour which is good. I'm in control of my behaviour most of the times and in turn the situation. In the past few weeks, I've had a lot of realizations after discussing here with guys like you and others which I hadn't realised in the past couple of years.

 

[StrayDog]

Just want to note: I've been using the "morning *sunshine emoji* text that @Skills mentioned in this thread on a girl in rotation that was getting frustrated she always had to reach out to me first, and I just want to say it works like a charm. She has mellowed out a ton since I started sending that daily/every other day. I just sent it to two other girls on rotation (one is in another state right now) and they responded very positively. Imma use this from now on. Seems like a tried and true method

Also @Shawn sounds like you are really leveling up bro. Kind of like a musician who practices scales a ton but it's not quite music yet. Then one day it just clicks, he puts some soul into it, and it's finally music.

 

[hey_lover]

Great job! I also practice semen retention and the only solution I've found that works is faking an orgasm. Otherwise, they become insecure if you don't come or suspicious if you choose not to.

 

[Skills]

Great job! I also practice semen retention and the only solution I've found that works is faking an orgasm. Otherwise, they become insecure if you don't come or suspicious if you choose not to.

Faking an orgasm is silly, if you dont cum you gain tons of power in the dynamics and will make her try harder so silly the need to fake an orgasm

 

[hey_lover]

Faking an orgasm is silly, if you dont cum you gain tons of power in the dynamics and will make her try harder so silly the need to fake an orgasm

If you've made her come and you're satisfied with the intercourse, then you don't want her to try harder if semen retention is a lifestyle choice. In my experience, women become very annoying in their persistence to get you off and its unnecessary drama when you refuse to do so. Ideally, you would have a dry or body orgasm whilst reabsorbing the sperm, but failing that, faking one works to give her and especially you peace of mind.

 

[Skills]

If you've made her come and you're satisfied with the intercourse, then you don't want her to try harder if semen retention is a lifestyle choice. In my experience, women become very annoying in their persistence to get you off and its unnecessary drama when you refuse to do so. Ideally, you would have a dry or body orgasm whilst reabsorbing the sperm, but failing that, faking one works to give her and especially you peace of mind.

we will agree to disagree, i don't see the need to fake an orgasm, with trt i went through a period of taking tadanafil, to make veins thicker, it did cause me a sideeffet no to cum, i did not see the need to fake orgasm with multiple girls, no drama, no issues, increase investment an attraction.... You are making your own projection and profecy, i am cool and normal.... and they don't bother me, on the contrary is more investment an attraction and challenge and overcompensation...

There is not need for a cool secure sigma man, to have to fake shit! dude come on... silly!