LR Long bad streak finally ended!

[Will_V]

It's true that 1 shag is still in 'maybe just a ONS' territory, but my point is that you should treat a girl after sex as if she's yours and do not start gaming her again, and do start leading things confidently and calmly within the frame you expect her to fit into from now on. Really if she wants more, as long as you aren't doing anything ridiculously silly, auto rejection is your only real enemy. She's not going to be thinking 'I just took his cock and had 9 orgasms but if he wants more he's going to have to prove himself'. But she is going to be potentially thinking 'I don't normally do that (sleep quickly), I hope he can make me feel like it was the right choice'.

@Skills makes a great point about humor, another way to put it is that humor is a show, and you have to be thinking about how things are going to be once the show's over. Being able to just have a normal, no-nonsense back and forth is a very good thing to establish as quickly as possible, because sooner or later you're going to tire of putting on a show, and she's going to tire of playing along with it, but you'll both be relying on it too much and it will get awkward when it wears out its welcome.

 

[Skills]

It's true that 1 shag is still in 'maybe just a ONS' territory, but my point is that you should treat a girl after sex as if she's yours and do not start gaming her again, and do start leading things confidently and calmly within the frame you expect her to fit into from now on. Really if she wants more, as long as you aren't doing anything ridiculously silly, auto rejection is your only real enemy. She's not going to be thinking 'I just took his cock and had 9 orgasms but if he wants more he's going to have to prove himself'. But she is going to be potentially thinking 'I don't normally do that (sleep quickly), I hope he can make me feel like it was the right choice'.

@Skills makes a great point about humor, another way to put it is that humor is a show, and you have to be thinking about how things are going to be once the show's over. Being able to just have a normal, no-nonsense back and forth is a very good thing to establish as quickly as possible, because sooner or later you're going to tire of putting on a show, and she's going to tire of playing along with it, but you'll both be relying on it too much and it will get awkward when it wears out its welcome.

I will disagree, but is maybe context, when i say for example "you have nothing you have to game her from 0" is in the context that unfortunatly guys get comfortable post sex (a sample is a reflection of the answers in this post)..... again this was the case back in the days (about i would say 10 years ago)....

I made a post in nextasf couple of years back cause i could not understand this, back in the days you had sex you were good to go... About i believe 5 years back, i notice a change in dynamics, 1 time was not good enough, 2 times you were good but still not super solid close, 3 was the magic number...

So again when i say gaming from 0 is not to get too comfortable context were you slack off, you need to still kind of game (influence) till you achieve a second meet and bang...rinse was repeat till 3rd...

 

[Skills]

Just thinking of her naked, gets me a boner lol.. From what you're saying, if it's a done deal, it's a bit disappointing bro.

I agree with you totally on being stoic. I got a lot more respect these days, after I stopped laughing because I had become cold-hearted.

One more thing I forgot to write in the OP was, when I asked her "do you sing?", She said no and asked me, "what am I good at?". Probably she felt I was over qualifying her. I said, "I won't tell but I like to show" and when I was banging her hard, I said "now you know what I'm good at". and she smiled. I don't know if it was a bit arrogant to say that. That's the only fuck-up I can think of, other than going on and on about the role-play.

Bro, don't get me wrong, I have gone through your posts multiple times, your website, answers etc and I have learnt a lot but somehow that good morning with sun emoji doesn't suit my personality. I don't know how to explain but I find it hard to send that. I think it depends on the girls also. If she's very feminine like Latin girls, they may like it but European girls may not be able to relate.

So on Monday (which will be more than 3 days by then), I'll just send "hey cutie (hand waving emoji)" which is also very low investment ping like you say in your post. What do you think?

try it if you are comfortable with that, why the long wait of 3 days(totally destroyed momentum by you trying to look none needy), see why the morning ping with the sun reasoning, you are just saying morning every day vs waiting 3 days get it???

she has not reply to you at all after that last text, is unusual, the thing you did in the bedroom is fine bro, don't overanalyze that much.... Sometimes a girl may have a state change post sex and nothing to do with your actions.... we play an odds action game that is all but playing the high oddss game is not bullet proof (keep this in mind to make your life easy)...

i will say post sex she ghosting is unfortunatly a very bad sign of investment, so no clever pinging or line will fix this... I am more talking to you in general so you understand concepts for the future....

 

[Calibration]

try it if you are comfortable with that, why the long wait of 3 days(totally destroyed momentum by you trying to look none needy), see why the morning ping with the sun reasoning, you are just saying morning every day vs waiting 3 days get it???

Reason I thought I'll ping after 3 days is not for looking non-needy but to give her space. She arrived in my country just a week ago and maybe she wants to just explore and not get committed to anything, including FWBs situation. So, the longer I give her time, she may feel like she's not getting attached to me and I'm like a booty-call "so to speak". What do you think?

BTW, I thought again about the Good morning with the sun emoji and I think it's the most appropriate text in this situation for many reasons:
1. It cuts the thread of "negotiations.."
2. It'll solve anti-slut defence like @Will_V suggested. Until now, there was only attraction and connection at a physical level. So, maybe when she thought about it later, she felt like a piece of flesh. So, sending this will make HER feel like a normal human being
3. I'll also appear normal. You mentioned that my last text was weird and I think you're right. I haven't been talking to her normally, like how I talk to my colleagues, friends and family. So, it builds comfort. Most comments said, I need to be warm and it addresses that as well.
4. Reason earlier I didn't want to send this was because I thought it's a bit of an attraction killer. But the problem here is not attraction at all. There's already a lot of attraction. In fact killing some attraction may neutralize and balance it.

So, if I send anything like "cutie" or "sexy" now will only hurt for all of the above reasons. So, I'll send the Good morning and emoji but not sure if I should send it tomorrow or on Monday.
If she still doesn't get back after this, there must be something else but I have already invested a lot of mental energy on this and it's not worth it. I'll just cut the losses and move on.

 

[Skills]

Reason I thought I'll ping after 3 days is not for looking non-needy but to give her space. She arrived in my country just a week ago and maybe she wants to just explore and not get committed to anything, including FWBs situation. So, the longer I give her time, she may feel like she's not getting attached to me and I'm like a booty-call "so to speak". What do you think?

Bro! again the reason i was giving you a rebuttle to the morning ping, is to make a point you keep the texting even if minimal or low effort DAILY, vs waiting 3 days (though this is already damage control so i get the you waiting 3 days, but again we are here in damage control)... I was just explaining the why? get me

again, i am not a big fan of waiting days strategies not even day after or anything like that, i think momentum is very important.... Read this final post:

Calls & Texts - The importance of Momentum when it comes to Texting

First what is momentum: -The strength or force that something has when it is moving. : the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes. : the property that a moving object has due to its mass and its motion. Before I make my point i will...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Calibration]

Bro! again the reason i was giving you a rebuttle to the morning ping, is to make a point you keep the texting even if minimal or low effort DAILY, vs waiting 3 days (though this is already damage control so i get the you waiting 3 days, but again we are here in damage control)... I was just explaining the why? get me

Ok, I see your point. I thought momentum was applicable only for first text.

again, i am not a big fan of waiting days strategies not even day after or anything like that, i think momentum is very important.... Read this final post:

Calls & Texts - The importance of Momentum when it comes to Texting

First what is momentum: -The strength or force that something has when it is moving. : the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes. : the property that a moving object has due to its mass and its motion. Before I make my point i will...

www.skilledseducer.com

Bro, I already know your posts by-heart. I've read them a loooot of times hahaha

 

[Will_V]

I will disagree, but is maybe context, when i say for example "you have nothing you have to game her from 0" is in the context that unfortunatly guys get comfortable post sex (a sample is a reflection of the answers in this post)..... again this was the case back in the days (about i would say 10 years ago)....

I made a post in nextasf couple of years back cause i could not understand this, back in the days you had sex you were good to go... About i believe 5 years back, i notice a change in dynamics, 1 time was not good enough, 2 times you were good but still not super solid close, 3 was the magic number...

So again when i say gaming from 0 is not to get too comfortable context were you slack off, you need to still kind of game (influence) till you achieve a second meet and bang...rinse was repeat till 3rd...

Maybe it's just me and my way of doing things, if a woman isn't sold by the first night (that is, if she plays games or whatnot after sex) I'm just not as keen. My view is that she's never going to be on better behaviour than after the first night of getting dicked - imagine what she'd be like a few months in when the excitement dies down a bit!

I also personally find distasteful a woman who finds it hard to open up and take risks with me. There's nothing that makes me fall in love faster than when she has the courage to go for what she wants even if it means swimming across the river of her fears. Too many lame, self centred, low self esteem and low investment women in this day and age.

Sounds like what you're doing works for you though, I'm curious, do you do anything particular to get her locked in, or is it just a question of having sex multiple times?

 

[Skills]

Maybe it's just me and my way of doing things, if a woman isn't sold by the first night (that is, if she plays games or whatnot after sex) I'm just not as keen. My view is that she's never going to be on better behaviour than after the first night of getting dicked - imagine what she'd be like a few months in when the excitement dies down a bit!

I also personally find distasteful a woman who finds it hard to open up and take risks with me. There's nothing that makes me fall in love faster than when she has the courage to go for what she wants even if it means swimming across the river of her fears. Too many lame, self centred, low self esteem and low investment women in this day and age.

Sounds like what you're doing works for you though, I'm curious, do you do anything particular to get her locked in, or is it just a question of having sex multiple times?

^ yeah agree... But is not "playing games" sometimes people/women lose momentum, they get busy, you are competing with other guys, etc... Also yes there are women you hit it off on the first night, but not all... A way to get around 1 vs 3 fucks, is to have her sleep over and take her to breakfast in the morning....

 

[Will_V]

^ yeah agree... But is not "playing games" sometimes people/women lose momentum, they get busy, you are competing with other guys, etc... Also yes there are women you hit it off on the first night, but not all... A way to get around 1 vs 3 fucks, is to have her sleep over and take her to breakfast in the morning....

Great point, I always offer a girl to stay the night and keep me warm if I want to see her again.

 

[Skills]

Great point, I always offer a girl to stay the night and keep me warm if I want to see her again.

yeah this is a great strategy i need to ad to my post totally forgot about it... A lot of girls on purpose will not stay the night.....Cause they are scare of getting in their feelins, or they have to work, or they have kids etc.... so is not always possible, i love when they stay the night, cause in the morning i am super horny (testosterone at highest level) so i like to bang in the mornings...

 

[Calibration]

^ yeah agree... But is not "playing games" sometimes people/women lose momentum, they get busy, you are competing with other guys, etc... Also yes there are women you hit it off on the first night, but not all... A way to get around 1 vs 3 fucks, is to have her sleep over and take her to breakfast in the morning....

Great point, I always offer a girl to stay the night and keep me warm if I want to see her again.

Ok, now this gives me some insight on what really happened with this girl. After she cleaned herself up, she came back and slept on me and kissed me. Then she lay in my arms putting her head on my chest for 10-15 mins. I was tired and so was quiet and not talking. Perhaps she thought I want her to leave and so wasn't talking. She said she'll leave. I immediately said OK. I think she wasn't expecting that I'd be so quick in saying that. So, she quickly got up gathered all her stuff in a rush and got ready within 1-2 mins and I noticed her facial expression changed towards me and wasn't making eye contact anymore. I thought she was just tired. Then when I saw her off, she hastily hugged me and left. I think the last nail on the coffin was when she texted me that she reached home safely, I didn't reply to her text until next morning. I don't know why I didn't. Tbh, I was probably still playing games in my mind. So, I strongly think she went to auto-rejection. All I knew was, if you want to give a girl the signs that you're not looking for a GF is to not let her sleep overnight. There's so much wrong information out there that sometimes you get overwhelmed with confusion.

 

[Skills]

Ok, now this gives me some insight on what really happened with this girl. After she cleaned herself up, she came back and slept on me and kissed me. Then she lay in my arms putting her head on my chest for 10-15 mins. I was tired and so was quiet and not talking. Perhaps she thought I want her to leave and so wasn't talking. She said she'll leave. I immediately said OK. I think she wasn't expecting that I'd be so quick in saying that. So, she quickly got up gathered all her stuff in a rush and got ready within 1-2 mins and I noticed her facial expression changed towards me and wasn't making eye contact anymore. I thought she was just tired. Then when I saw her off, she hastily hugged me and left. I think the last nail on the coffin was when she texted me that she reached home safely, I didn't reply to her text until next morning. I don't know why I didn't. Tbh, I was probably still playing games in my mind. So, I strongly think she went to auto-rejection. All I knew was, if you want to give a girl the signs that you're not looking for a GF is to not let her sleep overnight. There's so much wrong information out there that sometimes you get overwhelmed with confusion.

cause there is context and nuances, no is not bad info... But there is a balance dude... Obviously if she sleep over is greater chance of bf possibility, but I don't care, you can mitigate that later, better than her ghosting.... Is not your fault after you bust a nut body said you reproduce, is normal for dudes to want cool down period, girls don't get this, but yeah sometimes you have to make an effort and give comfort after sex... so you don't make them feel fuck and dump... You are too obsessed with coming across needy and coming across as bf too much is fucking up your game, that is why we have an element of calibration...

 

[Calibration]

You are too obsessed with coming across needy and coming across as bf too much is fucking up your game, that is why we have an element of calibration...

Cos my failures are mostly related to my neediness. So, try my best to be aware of it but paradoxically, like you say it fucks up my game even more

About coming across as BF, it's because I've hurt a few girls in the past when I didn't have the balls to say what I wanted. Later I felt very bad about doing that. I don't want to do that again even if it means I fail getting laid. In the past year, I could've got a GF without going dry but I knew I'd be hurting myself and the girl if I got into a relationship. So, I let them pass.

I'm glad I have people here now to guide me

 

[StrayDog]

Cos my failures are mostly related to my neediness. So, try my best to be aware of it but paradoxically, like you say it fucks up my game even more

I am not sure about this. Not saying that that isn't the case sometimes, but other times it could possibly be the fear that you might be needy that is getting in your way. There is a difference between the two. A perfect example would be the situation you are in now. You are afraid you are being needy so you act super distant and cold and she auto rejects. It is also possible to send both signals to varying degrees throughout a seduction. hints of neediness, hints of aloofness. This comes across as very incongruent and often pushes women away. If you recall, a solid portion of your in-field failure was due to a lack of building connections with the women you approached. A sort of obscuring yourself. Like when a woman inquired where you were from and you said "mars." A good aspect of seduction is knowing how to open up in the right ways. Letting her know you enjoyed your time after sex isn't defacto needy, nor is it defacto sending boyfriend vibes. When done in good measure it simply lets her know that you feel her humanity and recognize the nature of the intimacy you two shared.

About coming across as BF, it's because I've hurt a few girls in the past when I didn't have the balls to say what I wanted. Later I felt very bad about doing that. I don't want to do that again even if it means I fail getting laid. In the past year, I could've got a GF without going dry but I knew I'd be hurting myself and the girl if I got into a relationship. So, I let them pass.

I get not wanting to lead women on, but I think having too many women pursuing you is a better problem to have right now than having them all go cold on you because you are too distant. Not saying you should be misleading, and yes do be aware of the signals you send. But I would be thinking broad strokes right now. Like, rather than thinking this small moment or that small moment is leading them on, focus more on the overall pacing, patterns, and signals you establish. Like how often you two meet up, what sort of activities you do when you meet up, and so on. Besides, it's often inevitable she catches feelings, so you might have to be prepared for this regardless

 

[Calibration]

I am not sure about this. Not saying that that isn't the case sometimes, but other times it could possibly be the fear that you might be needy that is getting in your way. There is a difference between the two. A perfect example would be the situation you are in now. You are afraid you are being needy so you act super distant and cold and she auto rejects. It is also possible to send both signals to varying degrees throughout a seduction. hints of neediness, hints of aloofness. This comes across as very incongruent and often pushes women away. If you recall, a solid portion of your in-field failure was due to a lack of building connections with the women you approached. A sort of obscuring yourself. Like when a woman inquired where you were from and you said "mars." A good aspect of seduction is knowing how to open up in the right ways. Letting her know you enjoyed your time after sex isn't defacto needy, nor is it defacto sending boyfriend vibes. When done in good measure it simply lets her know that you feel her humanity and recognize the nature of the intimacy you two shared.

You're right bro. I've put a lot of thought into this many times but I think it's in my subconscious mind to run away when I sense commitment. I self-sabotage trying to behave in a way to show that I'm not a long term partner and perhaps that sends wrong signals.

I get not wanting to lead women on, but I think having too many women pursuing you is a better problem to have right now than having them all go cold on you because you are too distant. Not saying you should be misleading, and yes do be aware of the signals you send. But I would be thinking broad strokes right now. Like, rather than thinking this small moment or that small moment is leading them on, focus more on the overall pacing, patterns, and signals you establish. Like how often you two meet up, what sort of activities you do when you meet up, and so on. Besides, it's often inevitable she catches feelings, so you might have to be prepared for this regardless

A few years ago before I knew anything about game or I knew anything about handling multiple relationships, I thought every girl would just be seeing one guy. There was this Japanese girl who I used to see only during the weekends. No texting or anything during weekdays. Just pick her up from her place on the weekend, bring her home, bang her, take her to a nice restaurant and drop her off home, until I saw her again next weekend. I felt that was bad what I was doing and told her I don't like to see her since I'm still not out of my breakup from my ex. I sounded like she was my rebound. She told me that I deserve to suffer and those words still ring in my head. It was not because she expected commitment even then but I broke off with her cos I felt she's just agreeing to this sort of relationship, thinking she's waiting for commitment even when I was not treating her well. I suffered very much with how she got hurt cos she was the sweetest girl I've met in my life. It probably has remained in my subconscious mind. She even offered to buy me flight tickets with all her savings to go see my ex who had cheated on me one last time and get a closure. Later I tried to explain it to her but she didn't want to listen to anything. Similar to her, I have a few more stories. So, I don't want all that again and since then I try to show that I'm not a long term partner from the very first time I meet them.

Anyway, like skills mentioned above, there are nuances which I'm not aware of. So I try to make it as blunt as possible from the get go. Glad there are right ways to do it. Hopefully, I'll learn them as I go.

BTW, you telling me that I was over-gaming was what brought me the realization of why I do what I do. So, I must say you helped me realize that in a way and now that I know, I can address it better.

 

[Zoro]

I was tired and so was quiet and not talking. Perhaps she thought I want her to leave and so wasn't talking. She said she'll leave. I immediately said OK. I think she wasn't expecting that I'd be so quick in saying that. So, she quickly got up gathered all her stuff in a rush and got ready within 1-2 mins and I noticed her facial expression changed towards me and wasn't making eye contact anymore. I thought she was just tired. Then when I saw her off, she hastily hugged me and left. I think the last nail on the coffin was when she texted me that she reached home safely, I didn't reply to her text until next morning. I don't know why I didn't.

If she auto-rejected, I think this right here was the reason. Some girls are very subtle in their communication and it's not easy to pick up on this stuff, you have to be a mind reader or very perceptive. But you CAN pick up on it. After all, you sensed it enough to realize in hindsight.

But as a rule of thumb, after sex comfort is important to women. They feel at their most vulnerable after sex.

For the subtle girls, it's good to just chat with them if you're unsure of their mood. Much easier to understand their mood once you get them talking a little. Literally asking them "how're you doing, what's on your mind?" can go a long way and be as simple as that.

 

[Calibration]

If she auto-rejected, I think this right here was the reason. Some girls are very subtle in their communication and it's not easy to pick up on this stuff, you have to be a mind reader or very perceptive. But you CAN pick up on it. After all, you sensed it enough to realize in hindsight.

I'm very convinced this was indeed the reason looking back at everything that happened until that moment. Relating to the Cleopatra's roleplay context, she said "Egypt is OURS now!". I just smiled and didn't say anything. I was still savouring the moments of the past couple of hours after waiting more than a year.

But as a rule of thumb, after sex comfort is important to women. They feel at their most vulnerable after sex.

I wouldn't have guessed that she'd still be vulnerable after that marathon sex with exchange of bodily fluids. I find it really strange.

For the subtle girls, it's good to just chat with them if you're unsure of their mood. Much easier to understand their mood once you get them talking a little.

She was very sensitive from what I know her. She wasn't playing a lot of games and shit-testing like crazy. She was super shy and I can empathize how she might have felt to walk 20 mins back home, tired and worn out in the cold, at night. Well, lesson learnt.

Literally asking them "how're you doing, what's on your mind?" can go a long way and be as simple as that.

Is that all you guys talk post sex? The ones I've had sex in the past were not this sensitive I guess. I remember 2 of them were very sensitive but for some reason they had to stay back the night.

 

[Zoro]

I wouldn't have guessed that she'd still be vulnerable after that marathon sex with exchange of bodily fluids.

It's uncomfortable to do, but imagine you're a woman getting railed by a dude. She has to trust you and open herself up to your dominance. She's just given herself to you, her most private part of her body, her whole body really. To allow a man to do that, she feels that you will treat her well and have her best interest in mind. If she senses that the persona you've shown her was just a facade to get her into bed, she might feel a little violated rather than enamored from the experience.

She was very sensitive from what I know her. She wasn't playing a lot of games and shit-testing like crazy. She was super shy and I can empathize how she might have felt to walk 20 mins back home, tired and worn out in the cold, at night.

Sounds like a very feminine type. I tend to date these types, and they feel best when you're a captain of the U.S.S. Relation-Ship. A good ship captain will be tuned into the workings of his crew and his boat, as well as the surroundings. Same goes with these types, having a pulse on the situation, her, your environment, and steering you both through experiences sexual, or not, makes them feel as home.

If you lead well, you will see her shine like sunshine and bloom like a flower. Can be high maintenance if she is emotionally unstable. If you find one that is level headed, marry that one or send her my way.

 

[Calibration]

If you lead well, you will see her shine like sunshine and bloom like a flower. Can be high maintenance if she is emotionally unstable. If you find one that is level headed, marry that one or send her my way.

Well, well, well.. this is what confuses the shit out of me. If she was sensitive only for this, would she be fine if she knows that she's one of the many I have down the line? She may be the best but if I can't give what she wants (commitment), isn't it better that I don't continue with her and hurting her even more in future?

 

[Zoro]

Well, well, well.. this is what confuses the shit out of me. If she was sensitive only for this, would she be fine if she knows that she's one of the many I have down the line? She may be the best but if I can't give what she wants (commitment), isn't it better that I don't continue with her and hurting her even more in future?

See this is where learning the ways of subtle communication can go both ways. You can communicate with her in subtle ways.

If you connect with her deeply before sex and develop strong rapport with each other, well that sub-communicates that you want her mind and soul, not just her body. You frame the interaction as the start of an unfolding deeper relationship.

If you are just fun and flirty, but don't really peel back each other's layers, that frames the interaction a little differently, the focus is more on the fun and sexual chemistry.

Make sense?

Also think about this, if she is attractive and you like her, and you have developed a strong connection, that girl is a good candidate to evaluate further for a long term relationship, if that is what you're looking for. And if you're not even avaliable for a long term relationshop, than staying away from building too much rapport and deep connection with girls you just want to be casual with is something to be aware of, because then you will unintentionally send these girls mixed messages and they will start to pressure you for something more long term or get hurt when the expectations you hinted at are not met.