Matheth's Journal

[matheth]

Today I went to a nightclub that opens every monday from 10 30 till 6am. This is great bc I didnt have any place to go out on mondays.

I went with the idea to talk to as many ppl as possible, and I kinda did. I talked to some random guy that had gone alone and later a trans girl joined us (who was also alone). They ended up being my "base" for the entire night which was good for morale but they werent exceptionally social ppl and they were also kinda weird. I dont mind tho bc im also weird and autistic.

I talked to a couple of other guys but I mostly felt like I got bad responses, I feel like I am in the "meh" stage of Socially hopeless. I tried learning some social rules additional but there was so much going on that I dont think I was able to pay much attention. I mostly focused on the venues and trying to watch as many interesting interactions as possible.

I noted that a lot of guys were much more aggressive and even some girls were pretty bold with guys they liked.

I thinkkk that a couple of girls gave me approach invitations but im not entirely sure. Both because I lack experience in the technical aspect but also because I dont have the highest self esteem yet. Let me give you some examples:
- A girl dancing on a set was literally bumping her back and her ass on my side quite a lot of times. The part of me that thought that this was just on accident and not an approach invitation rationalized it as "she was dancing quite energetically and I was standing kinda weird so maybe it was just that". But I dont know, I would like to have the actual experience of knowing that this was an actual approach invitation and also the self esteem to just assume it but im still not quite there
- I approached a set of 2 guys and 1 girl but one of the guys brushed me off. Later on the girl from this set got very near me and I think that maybe she wanted me to approach her
- A set of 3 girls who were very cute but I hadnt interacted with them came veryyy close to me (and particularly one girl). Around this time the trans girl from my "base" came and started talking to me and immediately the 3set went away. I think that the girl that got very near me wanted me to approach her but after seeing me talking with the trans girl she lost interest.

One of the things that I learnt, not only today but also the past couple of outings, is that socially inept people sticking to you can fuck up your game. It is not the end of the world and you can mostly ignore them but it is important to have a base of somewhat decent people who arent gonna clumsily get between you and a girl

Another thing that bothers me which could be a limiting belief is that im quite short (around 165cm or 5′ 5'') and this nightclub was filled with fucking skycrapers of 1.8m+ (5' 11''+), I dont know if im just being a pussy making excuses or it is just a reality that im gonna have a harder time approaching in chaotic venues with tall AF guys.

Positive aspects:
- I went out for around 4 hours to a nightclub venue which I dont usually do
- I got to know the vibe of a new place I can go on mondays
- I actually talked to more people than the days before and it was in a nightclub which doesnt allow a lot of talking either

Negative aspects:
- I didnt approach any girl I liked, I just stood like a retard lmao
- I chose a poor base which fucked up an approach invitation from a very cute girl
- my ears are ringing from the loud music

I dont wanna make another social rule today, mostly because already having gone out and socializing was quite enough for me and besides, I think that I learnt a lot of social rules intuitively.

 

[OldGuy]

Good work going out and socializing!
Of the three things you thought might be approach invitations, they all were.

 

[matheth]

Good work going out and socializing!

Thanks man!

Of the three things you thought might be approach invitations, they all were.

Fuck me man, I didn't expect them to be so bold. And even after reading several articles on approach invitations I have a hard time believing these girls are so direct. Will see what happens next monday

 

[bkw]

Good work going out and socializing!
Of the three things you thought might be approach invitations, they all were.

I agree. Especially the first girl who rubbed up against @matheth. Proximity for extended periods of time, especially if they are rubbing up on you or trying to get your attention, is a green light.

 

[matheth]

Ive been fapping a lot and yesterday i was too horny and ended up with one of these hookers. I thought i could replace them with fapping but i just get hornier and then when they send me messages i cant control myself


I read an article about masturbating and at one point it recommended to go full cold turkey. And thats what im gonna do. I definitely felt a drop of drive to meet new women today since Ive talked with guys mostly so it does affect my game and practise.

Today i talked with a lot of people, wasn't really aiming to establish a base or connect with ppl but rathwr talk with as many people as i can.

If i felt that the conversation wasnt going anywhere i would just eject myself which is something i wasnt doing before. I really wanna start focusing on chicks again since now im half avoiding them and half not having the drive but i really need to stop fapping and fucking whores if i want to really focus on this.

Positive aspects
- was feeling kinda depressed after relapsing yesterday but still went
- talked with a lot of ppl and dont feel as many inhibitions as last week to talk to new ppl
- since ive been going out a lot lately im starting to feel more at home since at any point i can look for guys I know and chat them up

Negative aspects:
- was very low energy, im part bc ive been going out a lot and not sleeping well but also bc i relapsed yesterday
- still didnt talk with any girls (at least purposely trying to make things happen)
- at one point i got social anxiety and started sweating like a pig which i dont like


As a bonus point i gotta add that i chatted up some guys waiting for the bus and we got along well. Im slowly loosing my social inhibitions and talking with anybody as if they were long time friends
Also asked for directions to a girl (im.pointing this out since I hadn't done it since ive started going out again last week)

 

[matheth]

So today I went out again, but this time to a different venue that Ive only been a couple of times with my coach and didnt get too lucky. I only approached like 2 or 3 girls (most of them I either really liked or just liked) and I also went on my own which is an improvement. I didnt feel any social anxiety most of the night.
Positives:
- Went out on my own to a relatively new venue, did fairly well
- Finally talked with girls with the intention to game them and not just being social
- I felt less pressured to be social and would usually just speak my mind, even being a bit nasty with a fellow guy and saying outta pocket things lmao


Negatives:
- a hungarian girl I had spoken to earlier literally stood right next to me for a couple of seconds but when i realized she started to go (fml)
- at the end of the night i was kinda waiting for more approach invitations but thats the only one I got.
- I got stuck with a "base" of guys which were just AFCs.

I read an article talking about how you should go solo and welcome discomfort, it was about going out with friends and how they can fuck up your night. Tomorrow I plan on going to 2 different venues 2 hours each and really trying to focus solely on gaming chicks.

PS: I think that I didnt get as many aproach invitations because of my outfit.

 

[matheth]

Here are the pics:

 

[bkw]

So today I went out again, but this time to a different venue that Ive only been a couple of times with my coach and didnt get too lucky. I only approached like 2 or 3 girls (most of them I either really liked or just liked) and I also went on my own which is an improvement. I didnt feel any social anxiety most of the night.
Positives:
- Went out on my own to a relatively new venue, did fairly well
- Finally talked with girls with the intention to game them and not just being social
- I felt less pressured to be social and would usually just speak my mind, even being a bit nasty with a fellow guy and saying outta pocket things lmao


Negatives:
- a hungarian girl I had spoken to earlier literally stood right next to me for a couple of seconds but when i realized she started to go (fml)
- at the end of the night i was kinda waiting for more approach invitations but thats the only one I got.
- I got stuck with a "base" of guys which were just AFCs.

I read an article talking about how you should go solo and welcome discomfort, it was about going out with friends and how they can fuck up your night. Tomorrow I plan on going to 2 different venues 2 hours each and really trying to focus solely on gaming chicks.

PS: I think that I didnt get as many aproach invitations because of my outfit.

Hey man, you're doing great! Keep it up!

May I ask why you're waiting for so many IOIs from girls? Why not just approach them? It's a bit of jumping-into-the-deep end thing that might really accelerate things for you. Maybe you could set approach count goals and see how they react? For example, are some nice? Receptive? Did they appear to hook, etc?

I haven't done any night game for years, but one of the biggest "ah-ha" moments for me was when I realized when girls were hooking in set. It really helped me identify interested girls, but I wouldn't have known that if I wasn't approaching and getting to see their reactions

 

[matheth]

Hey man, you're doing great! Keep it up!

May I ask why you're waiting for so many IOIs from girls? Why not just approach them? It's a bit of jumping-into-the-deep end thing that might really accelerate things for you. Maybe you could set approach count goals and see how they react? For example, are some nice? Receptive? Did they appear to hook, etc?

I haven't done any night game for years, but one of the biggest "ah-ha" moments for me was when I realized when girls were hooking in set. It really helped me identify interested girls, but I wouldn't have known that if I wasn't approaching and getting to see their reactions

I had just started again last week and wanted to first get into being social. But you're right, Im actually planning on today going and just hitting on chicks that i find pretty. im planning on doing at least 10 approaches, before i had the goal of "just be there" or "just talk to ppl". hopefully ill learn something else today!

 

[matheth]

So today I was planning on breaking up with a girl ive been seeing (the redhead from the bus) but we didnt. I told her i wasnt ready for a relationship and didnt know when i would be. She just accepted it and we will be seeing each other again like before. We went to eat and then back at my place to fuck. I didnt went out mainly bc of this but also bc it was fucking pouring like a mf. Tomorrow if the weather is better ill go do some daygame and at night some bargame.

 

[matheth]

I went out to daygame and it was quite empty, around 17 30 the place filled up

I sweated like a fucking pig and it made me too self conscious, i really hate hot humid climates bc i oversweat always. I guess one solution i can find is to just wear breathable clothes and dont even bother going out if its too hot.

I do feel pretty happy that i exchanged eye contact with a couple of girls and even asked one something random.
Im following a beginner article about daygame and it said to start with eye contact.

I realize that i could be just spam approaching and stuff like that but id rather take my time and do one step at a time.

This is the first daygame session i have since starting again and while I feel like I can do so much more, it was good enough for me to learn new things like making eye contact with pretty girls and maintaining it.

I also asked a pretty girl some directions in an avenue. This avenue was filled with aggressive beggars and I think that they fucked up the atmosphere because this chick answered very defensively. I hate those guys

In the evening i went to a party (which happened from 6pm - 12pm), i stayed there for about 3 hours and I talked with a lot of ppl, mostly guys but also a couple of cute girls. I had a hard time maintaining long conversations with the girls. I kinda feel like ive forgotten how to deepdive and need to relearn it. I also met up with another guy who is like straight up AFC who bitched in my ear for like 30mins until i got away to talk to other ppl.

After this i went to another bar that had a "global exchange event" and only talked to one girl, applied some kino, but she didnt seem too interested...

I definitely dont feel anymore like the absolute worst socially given that I found many guys (too many imo) that were among the most socially uncalibrated that I have ever seen, its truly amazing. I dont really know how to deal with them since they can sometimes bring the groups energy down just by being retarded. Like this one guy next to the last chick i was talking too wanted to play jenga and also smoke and started to fight against her because she wouldnt move away. I kinda wanted to say something but
- didnt wanna fight him
- didnt wanna appear like a white knight either


I grabbed this girls' hands and told her i really like her nail polish and I appreciate a girl that does her own nails, I think she kinda liked it but it didnt serve to escalate since she started talking to other ppl.

Positives:
- i actually got my first daygame session since getting back on track, which now feels harder than nightgame somehow (before it was the other way around)
- I gamed for quite a long time, from 4pm to around 12pm.
- opened many sets of girls, 2 sets, like a 6sets of 5 girls and 1 frenc guy, another 3 set and many more. Purely social tho


Negatives:
- when doing daygaming i changed objectives too many times and wasted too much time (first eye contact, then direct approach, then just directions), I ended up going for the easiest and most reasonable objective which for me is just eye contact and smiling.
- im still having bad conversations, either rushing to talk, stuttering, not listening, not deepdiving. I guess i dont really understand yet what i have to do to get a girl and im teying to figure it out (like I ask myself, would a girl let me smash if I deepdive her? If i sexualize a lot? If i show a lot of value?) I guess my confusion stems from the fact that I cant deepdive a lot during nightgame and Ive been doing more of this than daygame. **Venue calibration articles** might help me with this confusion
- I sweated so much that I started to smell, the area around my ass in my pants became wet af and I also became self conscious. I really would appreciate if anybody else has a trouble with this and dealt with it to give me some advice.

 

[matheth]

Funny fact: i walked so much that i got chapped thighs

 

[matheth]

So i got curious to know how many girls besides sugardaddy or whores I layed and its a higher number than I expected. These are my stats so far:

Total: 11
Daygame: 3 (bus, street, anime convention)
Online: 3 (facebook, instagram, tinder)
Socialgame: 3 (friend of a friend, theatre classes)
Nightgame: 2 (bar)

 

[matheth]

Today i went out and I approached around 4 sets

I went out with jeans and a pretty tight tank top.

1st one was two girls that were talking to each other. Only one was a 1 (following Chase's 0 or 1 rating system), and this girl would give constant glances to my shirt and muscles. Dont know if she was frightened by them, if she considered me to be socially inept for wearing such thing if she was turned on by them or just curious. We talked a bit but I didnt find a good way to make conversation and exited when they gave me a soft excuse (we were thinking about going home).

It was a pretty good start because I didnt waste any time and just got straight to talking with women. Only after this set did I engage other men.

2nd set was 3 girls and 3 guys, they were pretty receptive but only one girl was a 1 and she ejected quickly with the other 0s. I did met a pretty cool guy there who helped me have a base to go back to (and he seems to be a pretty good wing based on his social skills).

3rd set was pretty meh, the only good thing about it is that I figured itd be pretty easy but an AFC cockblocked me.

4th set was the most interesting. There were 3 girls, 2 0s and one 1 who i got closer to when some absolute social blackhole was making a fuzz with the other 0s. We started talking, deepdiving and she seemed pretty receptive. I applied a good amount of kino (making her touch my tattoo, touching her tattoo, when talking about a bodypart touching her in that same bodypart, and even touching her ear when she told me she had a scar).
She responded pretty well in terms of conversation, asking me questions in moments of silence and also touching me in my shoulder and chest.

At one point i started rubbing the side of her ass with my knee (she was sitting in a pretty tall seat and I was standing, looking her eye to eye) and she didnt back down. At one point her friends kinda left, but only for 10 seconds max, and she got even closer.

Now I feel like I couldve kissed her but missed the escalation window.

I do wanna ask if anybody wants to answer:

Should I have just kissed her even with her friends right next to her?

Positives:
- I opened a lot of sets with girls in them with the intention of seducing
- I got very close to kissing one girl
- i didnt feel any anxiety or social pressure


Negatives:
- i missed the escalation window, or didnt isolate properly
- this is a different venue and there werent a lot of girls to open, ive been told its kinda ass too
- while i did sexualize a lot and took advantage of the opportunities i saw I still feel I fell short and couldve done more
- i didnt ask for any social media

 

[matheth]

So yesterday i didnt go out but I did get another lay.

It was with an extremely hot 40 something yr old who I had met a week prior. Will post a lay report later

 

[matheth]

Today I went out to a regular bar which hosts a speed dating section and then its just a dancefloor + a rooftop bar.

I got extreme social anxiety and couldnt open any girls, I only talked to a couple.

I dont know if its that Im not that horny and didnt try hard enough or what but I just couldnt bring myself to talk to any girls.

I do have some inhibitions when talking at this particular bar since its more like a nightclub than a bar.

Positives:
- went out despite not really feeling it
- talked to many guys and some girls in the speed dating section
- i decided to go out with an extremely tight tank top that shows my muscles

Negatives:
- i got too anxious and couldnt talk to any girls during the second section
- the tank top that i wore made me look a bit gay and some gay guys hit on me, also i think it made women less attracted to me but i might be coping
- i stayed for 3 hours instead of 4

I just have a lot of anciety when going out to nightclubs. And i dont really know how to overcome it. People are much more agressive in these places than in the other language bar I go to and I just dont know how to deal with it..

 

[matheth]

As another positive, while i was in the bus I started looking very intensively at a girl and at one point she got very close. I couldve opened her but got AA