Ozz's Journal

[Grand Pooba]

Marty,

Ozzo:
ozzo wrote:
Eight approaches were done on transportation

You're a machine. In one day? Was this a business trip?

Yes, this was in one day, though not a business trip: I was in Florida for personal reasons. While I didn't do any approaches while I was there, the trip back was exciting.

I can empathize... superficial girls of this sort that are obviously "bad for me" nonetheless exert a gravitational pull because of their looks and bodies. What can a man do? I usually stay away though for fear of getting hurt!

I am sure superficial party girls are also one of the easiest ones to sleep with...the question is "how?"

My line is: "Nice?!" (Look away, enigmatic smile, pause, look her back in the eye) "Just wait till you get to know me "

Thank you, I'll have to remember this one.

This has to be the worst bullshit excuse... I've had things like girls telling me where they work and asking me to come see them there, but refusing a number. Waste of time.

Yeah, sometimes when they say an excuse like that, I return the most quizzical, confused look, like "are you really trying to tell me that, as if I believe it?"

-----



Bah...okay, it's kind of hard to admit this to myself, but I screwed up. I've been feeling kind of down lately, and haven't been approaching/studying this past week as priorities from a different side of my life have suddenly taken a far greater commitment of my energy. Yet, in the stress of it I smoked weed and watched some porn last night (after ~140 days). Huge mistake. This morning I woke up with what felt like a hangover, and nearly zero libido and strength to be optimistic and positive. Even though I know it's all bad for me in the long run sometimes the cravings take precedence and I can't resist. I've been here before, though, and I must reacquire that hunger to stop these urges. New focus: nothing ever again. I am done for good with porn, and I am going to stay away from MJ for at least six months.

I had a third date with one girl this weekend, and got her completely naked in the back of the car as we fooled around, yet again met my friend LMR. I had ED with her, which tells me that my inner libido is still not yet fully withdrawn from porn. She felt like men judge women that sleep with them too fast, though i told her over and over, both before the fooling around while we were having dinner, while in the car, and afterward, that I am not someone that judges, and it actually makes me feel bad when I can't give my partners what they want, after she had verbalized that she's really horny and hasn't had sex in a few months. I am not sure if I want to have sex with her anymore, as I have a sense that she seems more romantically inclined and could just end up getting hurt if she has sex with me.

I had another semi-date with a girl Saturday night; it turned more friendly over time, but I did learn a few very important things that will help me in the months to come. The most important is that I tend to come off to women as inauthentic, as she got the perception of me as someone with many, many layers that are hiding the beast underneath, that beast being who I really, truly am, the desire and ignition that drives my core. I've heard this several times in the past few months from different people, so it can't just be made up. I think my traumas from the past are unresolved issues that tend to keep me from attaining my goals, including more success with women; these traumas have also created a mask I wear that hides my true redeeming qualities, and this mask also pushes away potential partners. A second revelation is that I might be someone that subconsciously feels badly about my sex. When I thought about it, I suddenly realized that even though the vast majority of my prior partners have described sex with me as being at the low end "very satisfying" and at a higher end "awesome," "exciting," "passionate," and "unselfish," and even though I've tried to give them all the best experience I can, I also readily feel like in the moment I'm not doing a good enough job and that they're not actually satisfied; that they're just saying that to make me feel better. There's no logic behind this, except to verify my own subconscious feeling that I'm not good enough. And in believing this self-fulfilling prophecy, I confirm my own subconscious when women don't sleep with me. I think I'm damaging my interactions with women FROM THE OPENING, because I don't truly believe, confidently, deep inside, that she's going to get a ride of her life if she comes home with me. These inner issues are, incidentally, also directly connected with my progress in becoming a lover of women and following the process of How To Make Girls Chase.

I know it's bad to take dating advice from women, but I do also think these two ideas are long-term "inner game" issues I need to resolve.

In a culmination of everything, I've also been missing my ex-girlfriend quite a bit, but I also know I can't ever go back to that route. I've already scuttled the ship and there's only one way to go--forward.

 

[Grand Pooba]

How would you respond? Critiques are welcome.

Situation 1:
Call a girl you've already been on a date with, leave a voicemail saying that you thought of her (some inside story), that it's been a while (1 week) and we should get together when we have a free minute, what's her schedule like? She did not respond or call back.
My solution: I texted "Hey <name>, I hope your week's going well. Do you have plans this Thursday evening? Thinking we should get together again if you're free. =)"

Situation 2:
Met this girl at a meetup group last week on Wednesday, had good vibes going. Set up a verbal date with a girl for this Sunday, she said she wasn't sure and would get back to me Sunday AM and I got her number. I texted her about it Sunday morning, and never heard back. Two days later I get "Hey <Ozzo> - sorry I missed u Sunday! U didn't make it out to <group> last night."
My solution: I texted "Ah, sometimes professional life just occupies the path to these fun things. Thinking we should still grab that coffee, though. What's your schedule like the next week or two?"

Situation 3:
Met a girl at a holiday party last night, briefly were talking about work and I want to meet her both for networking but ALSO to go on a date with her. She had to head out right away almost, and was about to give me her email, but I had her give me her number instead. I didn't make fully clear my romantic intentions (no direct opener or genuine interest) and only talked for five minutes, but SHE made sure to touch me on my elbow (like a pre-opener) as she was saying bye. Does this mean anything?

I texted her two hours later "Hi <name>, nice meeting you at the holiday party, save my number...-Ozzo =)," at 10pm. I heard back this morning at 10:30am "Nice meeting you too! Sorry I had to run out of there!"
My solution: I want to text tomorrow, "Well, it's too bad we didn't have more time to get to know each other. Thinking we should grab a coffee soon, though, what's your schedule like the next week or two?"

What would you do?

 

[Grand Pooba]

I sent:

Situation 2: "Hey <name> - I got caught up in work last night =/. How's that schedule looking? ;-)"
too boring?

Situation 3: "Haha, I sense you have a penchant for fast adventure. How's your day been?"

and not too long after...

Her: Good! Just busy wrapping things up at work. How about you? In the midst of a job search, right? <seemed like a boring topic, so I switched it up>
Me: Great. Oh, you remembered! <chase frame, determine romantic interest> Yes...Are you always that good with remembering little things about men? <qualifying frame> How do you do it?
Her: I'm amazing?
Me: Oh, because you traveled to Pakistan, or because you're Californian? Or...? <trying to get her to qualify herself further>
Her: All of the above?
Me: Well...before you ran off into the night, I noticed you had rather alluring qualities about you; I'd like to get to know you better over coffee. What do you think?
Her: That sounds great. But I leave for California for two weeks this Friday. Maybe when I get back? <offers her schedule...kind of. I was debating sending a "I don't chase schedules" text>
Me: Maybe...hmm, I leave town as well, why don't we say sometime early January?
Her: Sounds good. I'll be back on the 5th
Me: Cool have a nice evening.

This sounds promising.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Interesting things happening lately. I've been less focused on meeting women and more focused on finding work, yet somewhere now (probably just temporarily...maybe it's the holiday season or the weather) women are more readily coming to me. I approached two girls on the trains today, one on the subway, and one on the train...and got BOTH their numbers within about 3 minutes and verbal commitments for coffee.

One of the text exchanges from a girl from NZ:

Me 1141: Hi <New Zealand>, nice meeting you on the train. Have a nice trip home... - Osman =)
Her 1144: Hey Osman, you too , good luck at your event today. <near immediate response...promising>
Me 1145: Thanks sweetie....When do you return from NZ? <goal: sexual frame with "sweetie," find out her schedule>
Her 1148: 30th Dec... I might have to take you up on that coffee idea <Oh, wow...direct interest at ME! When does this ever happen?>
Me 1159: Yeah? That would be fun, don't you think? Getting ahead of yourself before your trip though ;-) <goal: chase frame>
Her 1205: Yeah sounds good, haha yep just a little
Me 1209: It's refreshing to meet a girl who goes after what she wants. Till then... <goal: rewarding her for her interest, keeping intrigue till meeting date>
Her 1212: It's the swimmer in me haha, happy holidays. <is she offering value?>
Me 1213: Ha, same to you

 

[Marty]

This looks very positive, Osman... just for reference I've very seldom had that level of responsiveness (several texts coming back within a few minutes each time). Sounds good!

 

[Grand Pooba]

Hmm, I had another approach opportunity today where it didn't really occur to me at the time exactly how to do it. I may never see this girl again in these circumstances, which really irks me: she was giving me long, extended eye contact every time I saw her. We didn't exchange words...everything was non-verbal. I saw her a total of three times, and in one of those I happened to be walking past her with someone else, and turned my head towards her to find her looking STRAIGHT at me and staring as I walk past. It actually freaked me out a little and I smiled, then turned my head back and kept walking with this other fellow; on the way out I was also waving bye to her, and she smiled with her eyes and did two quick raises of the eyebrow before I walked out the door.

What were the circumstances, you ask? I went into an office today for a job interview, and the front desk receptionist (one of them) was the target!

Now, how could this have been done? She was at work, but there was practically no one in there. My interviewer was pretty much shadowing me around the whole time, and we also walked out together into the elevator as he was on his way home. This is when I waved bye and she gave me very strong eye contact. But...could I have said to my interviewer, "You know, I actually need to use the bathroom really quick, do you need to head out right now?" and, if he didn't wait for me, gone for the girl afterwards on my way out when he wasn't there and no one was looking. I could have gone to her and told her "you know, I'm really bad with directions...I know there's a separate elevator for the parking garage, do you think you can show me where it is? I don't remember..." and then maybe she'd accept and walk me down. As she's showing me out, I could have assessed for her number or suggested we grab coffee after work, in the elevator.

On the flip side, my interview did go well. Who knows if there will be a second chance.

 

[Grand Pooba]

I think I understand the difference between depressive/negative thinking, and positive/future oriented thinking. I caught myself today in a "why am I like this?" moment but stopped myself, and reversed it to "I have good things to look forward to in the future." I hope this continues.

FR yesterday: went to a coffee date, went back to the girl's place, and when I went for the kill she declined the lips but offered her neck and ear. So I went ahead and bit/nuzzled/licked and nibbled her neck and ear. Wants to see me again before going further, proposed coffee. She said I was nice... Huh?

 

[Grand Pooba]

Got laid Monday night, finally! Even though I've had a couple of LR-'s since breaking up with my ex just over three months ago, I haven't been able to have penetrative sex with any of them and mainly because of my own mental issues with getting turned on. I've read through the GC article on Performance Anxiety once again, and my core issues are:

- Being very hard on myself
- Building up pressure: the feeling of "I have to get hard now or she's going to be disappointed" takes over, as does the feeling of "I can't get hard and she's already probably disappointed, and I can't feel anything in my penis"
- Focusing on the wrong things: like described above, rather than focusing on a hot naked girl having fun with me and pleasuring me, I focus on my anxiety and how I'm not turned on and nothing will change. My emotions are negative.
- Being cold, anxiety ridden, and

Finally though, on Monday night, I actually had real sex again. It's been a "dry" three months and I'm glad I've finally changed it. Whenever I read on the forums of how someone's had a dry spell for a month or a month and a half (and that's a "bad" thing), I really get a little envious in some ways...the longest dry spell I've had lasted about 500 days, and before pursuing GC as a learning process typically I would be content and used to breaks of 3-6 months between partners. It was almost expected. Now, this just sounds terrible, and I feel like I benchmark myself versus others in some ways. As I have more success with women and am finding it easier to get them into my bed, and myself into theirs, I have the exact issues described in the article on Performance Anxiety...I'm not used to being in these crazy circumstances. A part of me really doesn't care as much about pursuit at this time.

This instance doesn't deserve an LR, because I didn't follow anything on GC. This happened quite consensually and accidentally, with a friend of mine in a meet-up group that I attend. This meet-up happens to have quite a number of very sexually open minded women, across various ages, all there trying to gain a greater understanding of the depth of their sexuality. Overall a really great crowd; anyway, I went for a coffee right after it with one of the girls, and I proceeded to describe to her what happened with me and the girl "Violet" on Xmas day (report here) pretty much detail for detail, including how I got performance anxiety, and we both flipped out and had panic attacks. She empathized with me and talked it through with me thoroughly, explaining that she's been with people like that as well, and that the girl handled it the wrong way. She then hinted that she can help me, and then straight up said she wants to give me a BJ, because "I can help you...and I love giving BJs." Umm...ok, am I really hearing this? I told her that was nice, that I'd enjoy that, but we'll see what happens.

Where it got interesting...we both left the coffee shop, and on the way to our trains at the city terminal the subway we were on stopped at a station for five minutes and just sat there. This basically caused me to miss my train by ONE minute, with the next one leaving in one hour. I realized this was going to happen on the subway and explained this to my friend and she said, "well...why don't you come home with me tonight?" I told her I'd see and think about it...lo and behold, at the terminal my train had left, and hers was leaving in twenty minutes...so I agreed to come sleep at her place instead, and she told me "ok, but I hope you don't expect anything. I have work early and I need to sleep," and I told her "yeah, I'm kind of tired too, let's just go with the flow and we can sleep."

Pretty much first thing when we get into her bed an hour later...we're naked and removing all our clothes. She dominated me...she pushed me down and said adamantly "no, you're NOT going to do anything, this is about YOU." Wow, what a turn-on...and yet while she gave me a GREAT BJ for probably a good half and hour and I was going nuts, I was limp as a noodle the entire time. I realize now what thoughts were running through my head in this time:

- I'm not turned on.
- I'm distracted.
- Why am I here?
- Is she upset that I'm not getting hard?
- Is she really enjoying it even though I'm soft?
- How long is this going to last?
- I can't feel a thing that will make me hard. I mean...I'm REALLY sensitive, and this feels GREAT and it's driving me WILD, but I have zero sensation and libido to get hard.
- Why is this happening? Why can't I feel my penis?

We spent a good hour and a half or so hooking up, and I spent a long time eating her out and fingering her to climax. Then we slept.

My lucky break came after we went to sleep and her alarm randomly rang at 5:00am. This woke both of us up, and after shutting off the alarm we spooned. I then suddenly, out of nowhere, felt myself getting harder, and harder, until finally I realized I was at 100%, and she was awake. I had her grab my penis and she got really excited, went right back to giving me a BJ. This time I could feel my mental process struggle again, and I started to slowly panic:

- Am I going to lose it? No, it feels fine...
- What's going to happen when she puts on a condom? So far it feels fine.
- I'm turned on but I'm not thinking about being turned on, and it's not going down.
- What is this energy? The BJ's feel great, but different now...less sensitive.

Soon enough she got on top of me after putting on a condom, and we fucked for a good 45 minutes or so in different positions. My mind was strangely clear--no anxiety, and I didn't even care or worry about me getting soft or getting her off, I was just in the zone and going at it. I didn't even focus on getting her off, just on doing whatever the fuck I felt like. And I think it only went slightly soft for five minutes of the 45.

She said in the morning "wow...that was really good. So good." Talking about the whole night. Thanked me. I went into a mopey state again, apologizing for not getting hard earlier, and she said "wow, don't worry about it...I had an amazing time, you're really good, and you're being too hard on yourself. Stop." She's definitely right, I'm thinking all the wrong things. Same as in the GC article on Performance Anxiety. It's in my head.

 

[Grand Pooba]

It has been quite some time since I've updated my journal. Things in my life have become a little more stable. I'm working once again and thus am going to restart cold approaching, starting this week. I actually already went out with a friend of mine on Saturday to approach women, and ended up with two phone numbers, neither of whom has responded to me yet.

On that aside, I've slept with four women since my last journal entry, of which three were brand new and one was an ex-lover. I am currently seeing two women in casual open relationships, a third is very fickle and flaky, and we'll see if she happens again, and the fourth seems to be pursuing a serious route with someone else instead. Either way, it's been fun, and through a lot of personal work I now know what success actually feels like, and I know how my body and state of mind feels when I'm in the mood to kill, so to speak. A large part of my work now is going to be maintaining consistency and getting results faster.

Repost from an older entry, to focus on once again:

Here's what I've studied:
Mental Toughness
"The Success Factor" - Projecting the X Factor, Vibe, Maintaining Good State Control
Frame Control
Being a Sexual Man
How to Use Sexual Frame
Chase Framing
Predict People's Behavior
**Sexual Tension**
ESP Model of Sexual Escalation
Attraction Has an Expiration Date
What Happens when you Don't Have Sex
Girls changing their mind
**Social Pressure**
Screening Logistics in Advance
Dealing With Failure
What To Do To Get Past a Sticking Point
Effort Aversion

To Do This Week:
Day 3 & 4 Technician Diagnostic E-Book
Using Compliance Tests

It is now time that I will do field work exclusively and set goals to achieve, and utilize/review what I've learned practically and see what I've discovered in process.

Interim Goals, now until Apr 5
Continue to Refine:
- Approach Anxiety
- Maintaining consistency in my approaches: this is a present problem, I have trouble putting myself into the right state ahead of time, and there is an inconsistency in my fundamentals with all my approaches as I do only a few parts of everything most of the time.
- The biggest issue is my voice, which I am working to permanently deepen and make sexy, but frequently when I don't think about it I use my regular voice which is higher pitched and prone to speaking too fast and mumbling especially in the beginning.
- Dampen initial nervousness and project sexy vibe at the outset. **Done**

Focused Improvement:
- Reaching the hook point
- Moving girls on the spot
- Compliance screening
- Focus on repartee: I will make two witty remarks within the first two minutes of meeting every girl, I will make two sexual/chase frames within the first five minutes.
- Focus on rapport: Talk more about emotions, keep conversations interesting by switching topics, convey being a sexual man, focus on her and keep myself a mystery. **Done**
- ONE week focused exclusively of three 3-hr outings focused exclusively on value (homework)
- Three outings focused on investment (homework)

Interim Longer Goals, now until start of May 2014:
Continue to Actively Pursue and Develop:
- Be a sexual man
- Chase framing
- Using sexual framing
- Building sexual tension
- Using social pressure
- Deal with failure and assess sticking points
- Three more outings focused on investment (homework)

Longer Term (start process now):
- X Factor
- End Depression
- Figure out how to go back to her place consistently (until I have my own place)
- Manage logistics ahead of time

 

[PrettyDecent]

Ozzo, dude, you're killing it!! Keep us updated!

Were those three girls all cold-approach? That's impressive, man.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Nick,

They were not really cold approach - two of them I have written about as my last two LR's. The third was entirely through networking.

It feels good to be having sex with multiple girls, but none are truly what I'm looking for.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Weekly Update - 3/10
Not such a good week. I was hoping for an upswing but it seems that it was quite the opposite. Three flakes and one which I probably will not hear from again.
I did not get a chance to cold approach this weekend. I will be studying and making that happen this week, though.

---

Girl 1 - K
Met her at a women's conference, where I was invited by one of the women to speak about relationships from a male perspective (I was one of twenty men or so). Anyway, got her number, very attractive and well dressed woman. Here's our texting:

3/1
Me 1434: K - hey! Nice meeting a fellow dark chocolate and strawberry enthusiast at the Course. Save my number...-Ozzo
HER 1454: It's a please to receive and meet you as well, Ozzo!
3/3
Me 1955: K - How was the rest of your program? Thinking we should grab that coffee soon; how are your evenings looking this week?
HER 2246: Hi Ozzo! Mondays are always so tough but I ended it well-just finished dinner w friends. Sat? Weekdays are tough bc of work and then I usually have dance class or pilates.
HER 2311: How was your Monday? Sat or Sun are better most weekends.
3/4
Me 0741: Pilates? No wonder you're in such great shape . Glad you enjoyed your evening; I attended a meetup. How about Sat around 4 or 6? There's a cafe I like called <CAFE> at <ADDRESS>. What do you think?
HER 1228: Thanks, Ozzo! Could we maybe shoot for the following week? I have a friend's bday on Sat and have dinner plans w friends that evening
Me 1301: Ha, I realized after texting you I'm going to a bday Sat night as well. I don't know what next week looks like yet. Sunday evening may also work, or we can figure it out later for nxt wk.
3/9
Me 2204: Hey there K, how was your party and dinner? Hope you enjoyed your weekend. How's your schedule looking for our plan?
HER 2242: Hi Ozzo - my apologies for the delay in getting back to you. In all honesty, my life is just too full right now. Wishing you a very lovely Spring and it was a pleasure to meet you last weekend.
Me 2304: K - Oh come on, it's like an hour of your time. What if we really hit it off?? I'm glad to hear your life is full, that's great! Pleasure meeting you too.

At the very end I decided to take a pass at persistence via text, using the template from NJ's persistence forum post. I don't think it's going to work and my best guess is it came off as being needy and unattractive, but at this point I also felt I had nothing to lose.

I am trying to figure out what I did wrong with this one. It seems to be a case that I, 1. let the attraction expire, and 2. did not send texts to try to get to know her even a little bit. Also, 3. my bolded/italicized text reply to her request for rescheduling probably was not smooth (in reading it again). It doesn't seem very well thought out. I wonder if instead of asking for a date again, I had just asked about her weekend, how that might have gone.

---

Girl 2 - M
Approached her at the main train station and she surprisingly gave me her number. This looks kinda sorta promising but chances are good that it won't turn into anything at all. I didn't get a chance to really seed investment or any sort of core attraction and chasing on her part.

3/1
Me 1746: M - hey! Nice meeting a fellow Washington DC "enthusiast" at Penn Station. Save my number...-Ozzo
3/3
Me 2205: Hi M, hope you enjoyed the rest of your weekend. Thinking we should grab coffee, what do you think? How's your schedule looking?
HER 2210: Hi stranger. How about sunday afternoon?
3/4
Me 0735: That works, 3pm Sunday at <CAFE> on <ADDRESS>?
HER 1650: How about 330? I have pilates until 3.
Me 1909: Sounds good, stranger. Enjoy your week!
3/8 - Saturday before date
HER 1224: Sorry stranger but I am going to have to cancel. I am swamped with work this weekend. Maybe another time?
Me 1438: Hi M. It's cool; do your thing and we'll reschedule later. -Stranger.

I plan to send this message:
"Hey stranger, how was your pilates class? Hope you had a nice weekend. How's your schedule looking for our plan?"

I used the format from the GC article "What to do when girl's flake?" Hope something happens here.

---

Girl 3 - C
This is my ex-FWB. I saw her again on Feb 15 and had a great time. That is documented here: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=5274

Anyway, I've been trying to get her out again and have not succeeded. I do not consider her a casual lover anymore. She usually responds to my text with one line (an implied "no") and then if I respond to it, I won't hear from her again. So I'm trying a new approach:

3/7
Me 1647: Hi C, how are you? What are your plans tomorrow/sat night? Come over, let's play.
Me 1647:
HER 1855: Lol you're ridiculous
HER 1856: Fucking arful week how was yours?
<I did not reply>

My mentor told me not to respond because she doesn't deserve my reply, and disrespected me in the reply that she gave (calling me ridiculous).

My mentor has recommended that I send her the same text every week or week and a half, and only reply if her answer is in some way a "yes." If it's any other answer, I should just not reply and wait a week or two until I send her the same message. I suppose at some point she'll figure it out. At the end of the day even though this is the girl that I like and the sex is great, she doesn't respect me right now (and probably won't) and I honestly am probably better off without her in my life.

It's a tough feeling, because I don't want to give up, even though she is bad and wrong for me and I KNOW IT. But I like the way she looks, and it's fun when we do hang out, and she's great in bed. AUGH. First world problems!

----

Even though I'm casually seeing two women I had forgotten how difficult and frustrating this whole process can sometimes be, when you're struggling with one point. I think I'm back to just trying to maintain attraction and keep dates. I am not content on either of the two women I'm with and I have so much work ahead of me on this road (though it's nice to be having sex regularly). This week was discouraging but I must continue. With spring and summer coming soon, I absolutely MUST make all efforts to become great at this as fast as I can. Is seeing these two women holding me back from my goals?

I have also noticed that I am terrified of approaching the type of women which I am most attracted to. I also don't see too many of them with guys that look like me, and even though some of my exes are this type it really limits my beliefs. I think one of the next steps is to challenge my beliefs, and approach only this type of woman and see what happens.

---

Flipside: Things are going swimmingly with my two casual lovers. They're quite happy and content and satisfied and I have them exactly where I want them.

 

[Marty]

Ozz:

Seems like you're doing well. Your correspondence with M couldn't be better, so far as I can tell... I particularly like the way she picked up even after ignoring your icebreaker: you must have made a good impression. Also your flake-handling was spot-on.

As concerns K, yes, I agree with you, you went completely off the rails. The bold, italicized text was a transparent effort to show value, and the final message, I feel, was beyond terrible (in person, with correct vocal tonality, it might have been different). I'd write this one off. Personally, I like to think I'd have failed to respond to the "could we maybe shoot for the following week?" text completely, and just picked up again a week later.

Great to hear that you have a little selection of lovers now

-Marty

 

[Grand Pooba]

Marty, thank you for reading and for your comments. I always appreciate your insight and your time. You're probably right that I should have ignored K's "shoot for another week" text. What are your thoughts on when and how to ignore that?

Weekly Update - 3/17
Some progress this week - I've been casually cold approaching every day or almost daily (between 1 and 5 girls typically). I'm mainly targeting Asian women, as this demographic I'm most attracted to yet also the most scared of approaching. I think that this focus will reduce my overall anxiety and strengthen my skills.
I went out to a bar on Saturday night to practice night game, and though I ended up with two phone numbers (and only talked to two women anyway), I was absolutely terrified of the entire process and method of doing it. I haven't felt so much anxiety in a long time. Unfortunately neither of the two women responded to my icebreakers.

It's also clear now that I need to make the most inroads and push myself the hardest in the night environment - cut throat, high competition, and go for quick pulls and lays.
Actually, yes, I'm at the stage where I have to work more on insta-dates and quick pulls. It's time.

---

Continued - Girl 2 - M
This girl suddenly popped back in the picture. I need advice on what to do, gents. I don't know how to respond to her latest message.

3/11
Me 1849: Hello stranger, how was your Pilates class? Hope you had a nice weekend. How's your schedule looking over the next week or so for our plan?
<no reply, I tried again a few days later>
3/15
Me 0825: M, hey! Never heard back on a day/time. If you changed your mind, that's cool too. Ball's in your court now, lady!
3/17
HER 2017: Sorry I have been kind of busy...

SURPRISE! What to do next?

---

Continued - Girl 3 - C
Things seemed to have bombed completely with this, and I probably have to walk away. Very unfortunate - I actually liked her a lot, but she's definitely gaming me and being very difficult, and I think it's just over. After not texting her back last week, I reached out again in this format:

3/13
Me 0854: I'm working 5min from you. Lunch or quick dinner today?
HER 1459: Shit sorry, just saw this. Prepping for a board meeting so here late =(
<I did not reply>
HER 1908: You in the city this weekend? <some chasing behavior, I should have treaded more carefully but bombed instead...>
Me 2250: I can be. Why don't you come over, we can hook up then go to city ... or just hook up in city, then hang out. <I followed my mentor's advice. IT WAS NOT SMOOTH!!!>
3/14
HER 0751: Ok that was zero sexy to <I think she meant "yo" at the end>
<I had two options here - either go with it and say something like "Yeah it was actually negative five sexy, but we'll have time for that when we see each other. Yes or no?" ...or the light scolding text, which is what I opted for>
Me 0927: Tell you what - I can't do the whole chasing thing. I'm really not good at it, and you keep trying to make me! But, I don't want to So, I'm leaving this on you - you plan a date and time, and let me know when it is. I'll meet you then or you can visit
3/15
Me 0840: Your game is exciting

So far no response. I think in this situation I should have just gone with it instead of my text. Judging from her lack of response I think I blew this out pretty hard. Very, very unfortunate, because I liked her, but I need to move on.

---

Now, onto new leads...

Girl 4 - E
Met her on a train in the morning. Spent 25 minutes deep diving and getting to know her. Got her number, then lost it because I forgot to save it. Doh! I happened to run into her again three days later, luckily. That time she fell asleep on the train and I didn't know what to talk about any more. I explained that I forgot to save her number, but she gave it back. I need to set up a date.

3/14
Me 1046: E - It was nice meeting you on <train> again this morning. Save my number...-Ozzo
HER 1100: Nice meeting u. Have a good one!
Me 1101: You too!

I don't see this going anywhere - she was a little flustered the second time I saw her, and pretty flighty. It could have been that she was tired and in a rush.

---

Girl 5 - N
Met her in line at a sandwich shop at lunch. I commented on her shoes, then asked her if she'd like to join me for lunch. When she said she's running back to the office, I told her the real reason I wanted to talk to her is because I thought she was very attractive and cute, and I'd like to grab coffee to get to know her. I asked her if she's single, and when she said yes I pulled out my phone and grabbed it. Then we parted. It took about two minutes.

3/12
Me 1658: Hi N, nice meeting you in line at <shop>. Save my number...-Ozzo
HER 1945: Hi. It's N! I'll save it.
Me 2150: Thanks, enjoy your evening!
3/13
Me 1850: N - Hey! How's your day been? Thinking we should get together for drinks or coffee soon. How's your schedule looking?
<no reply>

I think I send this one too soon. Probably another text sometime this week to remind her, and that's all I can do.

---

Girl 6 - J
Oh man, this one's interesting. Cute, petite chick, looked latina. I pulled her number in exactly one minute. She was standing in a lobby I was leaving with a friend, and I had to run out. But I stood next to her, preopened and commented on her shoes, and after she bit I asked her if she was waiting for her boyfriend. She said no, just a friend. I told her she's incredibly cute and I'd like to grab coffee, and then she agreed and gave me her number and told me her name is spelled the normal way. I then made fun of her about that, and definitely got her laughing a bit. I also made fun of where she lived, then parted ways.

3/12
Me 2148: J - hey! Nice meeting a Queens enthusiast in the lobby tonight. Save my number...-Ozzo
HER 1258: Hi Ozzo, I saved your number. Hope you're having a great day.
Me 1840: Hope yours was great as well.
3/15
Me 1621: Hi J, how's your weekend going? Thinking we should get together for coffee soon. What do you think?
HER 1803: Hi Ozzo, so far so good. Yes I think we should. How is your weekend?
Me 1817: It's going great, can't complain! How's your schedule looking?
HER 1911: Bz but tomorrow afternoon looks good. <I had to make a choice here - I had a lover coming over at that time, so I could either delay that or delay this girl. I opted for the latter>
Me 2046: Tomorrow afternoon's not the best for me; how's your evening around 6, or next week?
HER 2128: Next week better
Me 2146: When were you thinking?
HER 2155: Wednesday?
Me 2215: Sure, 8 at <cafe> at <address>?
3/16
HER 0058: I'm sorry for the late reply. I was at the movies with my girlfriends watching single mom's club lol and just got home. Sounds good I'll meet at <cafe> this coming wday. Nite nite. <WHAT IS THIS?? Is she investing?>
Me 0942: How was that movie? I haven't heard of it. Looking forward to coffee, J.
HER 1213: Movie was alright. About single moms lol. Didn't heard of it before too. Have a nice day!
Me 2131: Haha, I'm curious to hear more about it. Hope you had a nice Sunday, see you soon.
HER 2153: Ok sure we'll talk. I had a good day. See u soon. Take care.

She sounds extremely enthusiastic to meet me in her text exchange. Hmm...not really sure what to make of this. She sounds a little crazy and young, probably early 20's. I also don't like the "we'll talk" in her last text.

---

I had a date on Tuesday which while long and awesome, the girl told me she didn't feel a spark and wouldn't go home with me or see anything coming out of it (HAHA, how many times do you hear this one? I think about this now and it just sounds like a stupid test, but I probably failed because I played a nice guy that understood). I didn't push for anything that night, but I asked her why and she said I agreed too much with everything she said, and she doesn't want sex right now. Hmm, is this some kind of test? I told her I didn't care, I like her company. I could potentially try to get her out again, but it might be a waste of time because I bought into her frame.

I think my number close percentage is around 70-90% these days, which is really good. I've gotten a number of them within one minute of meeting the girl. I'm doing openers right in that respect. I need to move to more challenging assignments than just this.

It seems I've added a third woman to my selection of casual relationships, and she's a 33 year old hot, fit yoga instructor, and also seems to be totally down with seeing each other for an hour and them parting ways to live our lives. Not counting that process here because it involved some pre-selection and I went to her house and slept over for the third "date."
One of my other casual lovers has started becoming attached to me (I felt this energy from her), and when I brought it up she admitted it and broke down crying. I've told her exactly how I feel - that I like the time we spend and I don't want anything more than what we have, and I completely understand if that's not something she can handle with me. She has appreciated the honesty, and needs time to think. We'll see what happens with this one.