Problems to get 2nd dates, help!

[Skills]

Sorry but you need to read the entire interaction again. He asked her out a total of three three times and got a vague (= flaky) response each time: 1) What afternoons/nights are you free this week? 2) hey, I will go to X this weekend, do you wanna join me? 3) mm what about doing so in person, on the beach, with this sunny weather, this week.

If she was interested, she'd either have reciprocated or suggested an alternative plan, not give these vague, non-responses.

Overall she might be indulging him out of politeness or for the attention, either way the end result is that she's wasting his time, assuming his end goal is sex and not to make a platonic friend. And who knows, she might be banging some dude already, showing him the convo and having a chuckle. I've seen that myself plenty of times from former fk buddies. So, yes, I believe the label "time-wasting bitch" is appropriate. But I'm not suggesting the OP should be angry or bitter since he invited this kind of behaviour with his vague communication style. She might be a bitch to him, but a sweetheart to sb else.

It's ironic that I'm labelling her a "bitch" but you're insulting her intelligence. Unless she's very naive, she knows what he wants from her, so she's gonna see right through that. By appealing to her interests to get in her pants, she'll perceive that as weak and more likely to friend zone him. Ironically, she'd more likely be turned on sexually if he had said (in the club) "I don't give a fk about chess, I just wanna get in your pants." I guess this forum is heavily biased towards indirect game.


But you still risk allowing her to play along and waste your time in the end ... unless you're suggesting these examples work every time. At this point, I think he should just leave her alone and move on. It's a long shot, but his silence might motivate her to want to meet up more than any more texting would.

The problem with OP is exactly using bad strategy that produces bad results aka low odds bad texting I have seen dozens of the op scenarios on a weekly basis...

Opening with a ridiculous hard close, hi how does your schedule looks like crap that don't work.... she respond to horrible game bad, now she is a time wasting bitch... same girl meets me and tells me what are you doing this weekend due to proper strategy...

 

[ulrich]

Sorry but you need to read the entire interaction again. He asked her out a total of three three times and got a vague (= flaky) response each time: 1) What afternoons/nights are you free this week? 2) hey, I will go to X this weekend, do you wanna join me? 3) mm what about doing so in person, on the beach, with this sunny weather, this week.

If she was interested, she'd either have reciprocated or suggested an alternative plan, not give these vague, non-responses.

Overall she might be indulging him out of politeness or for the attention, either way the end result is that she's wasting his time, assuming his end goal is sex and not to make a platonic friend. And who knows, she might be banging some dude already, showing him the convo and having a chuckle. I've seen that myself plenty of times from former fk buddies. So, yes, I believe the label "time-wasting bitch" is appropriate. But I'm not suggesting the OP should be angry or bitter since he invited this kind of behaviour with his vague communication style. She might be a bitch to him, but a sweetheart to sb else.

It's ironic that I'm labelling her a "bitch" but you're insulting her intelligence. Unless she's very naive, she knows what he wants from her, so she's gonna see right through that. By appealing to her interests to get in her pants, she'll perceive that as weak and more likely to friend zone him. Ironically, she'd more likely be turned on sexually if he had said (in the club) "I don't give a fk about chess, I just wanna get in your pants." I guess this forum is heavily biased towards indirect game.


But you still risk allowing her to play along and waste your time in the end ... unless you're suggesting these examples work every time. At this point, I think he should just leave her alone and move on. It's a long shot, but his silence might motivate her to want to meet up more than any more texting would.

Ok, first welcome to the forums.

Second, in this place we have rules and one of those is respect your elders.
@POB is one of those. The guy knows what he is talking about and he is very helpful to the community so please don’t antagonize him like that.

I’ll just say you seem to have some pretty definitive ideas on how women act that don’t align to reality:
- She is asking questions because she is making you lose time
- She knows what he wants from her

Keep your mind open.

In my opinion, you seem to use “direct game” as an excuse to run a pretty common flavor of uncalibrated game — “I want to get in your pants” (seriously, dude??)
That thing makes you lose much many more chances than you believe.

The reason why “indirect” is favored here is not because it is superior, but because it yields better quality girls and requires (and in turn creates) a more complete skillset that will be needed in your quest to mastery.

Are you truly a master if you reject a girl you like at the first sign of inconvenience?

 

[ThePicker]

Sorry but you need to read the entire interaction again. He asked her out a total of three three times and got a vague (= flaky) response each time: 1) What afternoons/nights are you free this week? 2) hey, I will go to X this weekend, do you wanna join me? 3) mm what about doing so in person, on the beach, with this sunny weather, this week.

If she was interested, she'd either have reciprocated or suggested an alternative plan, not give these vague, non-responses.

Overall she might be indulging him out of politeness or for the attention, either way the end result is that she's wasting his time, assuming his end goal is sex and not to make a platonic friend. And who knows, she might be banging some dude already, showing him the convo and having a chuckle. I've seen that myself plenty of times from former fk buddies. So, yes, I believe the label "time-wasting bitch" is appropriate. But I'm not suggesting the OP should be angry or bitter since he invited this kind of behaviour with his vague communication style. She might be a bitch to him, but a sweetheart to sb else.

It's ironic that I'm labelling her a "bitch" but you're insulting her intelligence. Unless she's very naive, she knows what he wants from her, so she's gonna see right through that. By appealing to her interests to get in her pants, she'll perceive that as weak and more likely to friend zone him. Ironically, she'd more likely be turned on sexually if he had said (in the club) "I don't give a fk about chess, I just wanna get in your pants." I guess this forum is heavily biased towards indirect game.


But you still risk allowing her to play along and waste your time in the end ... unless you're suggesting these examples work every time. At this point, I think he should just leave her alone and move on. It's a long shot, but his silence might motivate her to want to meet up more than any more texting would.

Thank you guys for taking your time to give your analyses.

This particular case with this girl wasn't the main topic/issue of the post though, but just an example.

The main issue is that I have a TERRIBLE sticking point (I can't seem to get 2nd dates, at least not as many as I'd like to).

I don't really know what to do about it.

It's terribly frustrating.

I don't have any problems to get dates, and they seem very interested before and during the date, they will reply to my texts the same day of thr date, but then 2-3-4 days after, when I ask them out again, they disappear or they just dont have time (like the one girl I posted).

I am a Spaniard living in Poland. I've compared my "results" with other people, both foreigners and locals, and I seem to have a 1st-to-2nd date ratio just on the average or slightly above it.

Which indicates that Im not necessarily doing anything wrong, it's just Im not doing well enough.

Back in the days when I was in Spain, more or less 2 years ago, when I used to date girls there, my ratios were much better, the girl would always leave the date very engaged and willing to see me again, most of them would be the ones texting first after the date.
Same with EU-minded girls (Norwegians, Italians, etc).

Here.... I always have to text first (if not, most of them won't), and a large etc.

I don't know what to do :/

Has any of you ever faced a situation like this one?
What do you do to take your first dates to the next level?

 

[Baron]

Ok, first welcome to the forums.

Second, in this place we have rules and one of those is respect your elders.
@POB is one of those. The guy knows what he is talking about and he is very helpful to the community so please don’t antagonize him like that.

I’ll just say you seem to have some pretty definitive ideas on how women act that don’t align to reality:
- She is asking questions because she is making you lose time
- She knows what he wants from her

Keep your mind open.

In my opinion, you seem to use “direct game” as an excuse to run a pretty common flavor of uncalibrated game — “I want to get in your pants” (seriously, dude??)
That thing makes you lose much many more chances than you believe.

The reason why “indirect” is favored here is not because it is superior, but because it yields better quality girls and requires (and in turn creates) a more complete skillset that will be needed in your quest to mastery.

Are you truly a master if you reject a girl you like at the first sign of inconvenience?

If my post came across as a personal attack, that wasn't my intention. I was trying to address the ideas, perhaps it came off a bit strong. I'll try to keep the rules in mind.

As for direct vs indirect, I've probably run indirect game more times than direct game and we're talking 15+ years of being "in the community" so it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the concepts. I've dabbled in the full spectrum, from the most indirect form of indirect game (Mystery method etc) to ultra direct/"mode one hardcore" game (e.g. telling a girl "I wanna fk the shit out of you"). In my experience, being direct has a number of specific advantages, but that's a topic for a separate post.

She knows what he wants from her

erm, yeah, pretty much. Plus, he's a Spaniard living in Poland, where I'm also based. Southern European guys here have a reputation among the local girls of being hunters, especially in clubs, which would support her conviction.

She is asking questions because she is making you lose time

I don't know if she was asking many questions, I'd have to re-read the convo. But she was certainly wasting his time, or rather his strategy was causing her to, as @Skills points out above.

a pretty common flavor of uncalibrated game

I'd beg to differ. The majority of girls will tell you that most guys who approach them are anything but ultra straightforward, at least in the countries I've been. Yes, of course announcing your sexual desires in a straightforward manner can be uncalibrated, e.g. if the girl is already uncomfortable with your presence or if your delivery/body language is off. Again, that's a subject for another post.

Are you truly a master if you reject a girl you like at the first sign of inconvenience?

Inconvenience is one thing, knowing when to cut your losses and move on is another.

 

[Baron]

Now close your eyes and picture you and me walking in the sand....the weather is clear, sun is bathing our bodies with the right amount of warmth. We get closer and start to feel a soft sweat...temperature is hot, but still perfect. You are wearing your nicest bikini and looking super sexy. I take a look and your skin is glowing under the sunlight that's penetrating the shade from the tree leafs. All I can do is smile at you like a fool....just can't resist that feminine charm (devil emoji). We are chatting and having fun while sipping our drinks, swallowing the right amount of liquor to relax and enjoying life

OK, I see what you were doing here. I was wondering why the OP was talking about tropical islands and shit, hence the tone of my first post. But you've expanded it into a proper sexualised future projection. Obviously some of the vocabulary might need dumbing down if the texter or the girl isn't a native or fluent speaker of English (OP is a Spaniard living in Poland). Not my kind of tactic, but it's a huge improvement on what the OP was aiming to do.

 

[ulrich]

If my post came across as a personal attack, that wasn't my intention. I was trying to address the ideas, perhaps it came off a bit strong. I'll try to keep the rules in mind.

As for direct vs indirect, I've probably run indirect game more times than direct game and we're talking 15+ years of being "in the community" so it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the concepts. I've dabbled in the full spectrum, from the most indirect form of indirect game (Mystery method etc) to ultra direct/"mode one hardcore" game (e.g. telling a girl "I wanna fk the shit out of you"). In my experience, being direct has a number of specific advantages, but that's a topic for a separate post.



erm, yeah, pretty much. Plus, he's a Spaniard living in Poland, where I'm also based. Southern European guys here have a reputation among the local girls of being hunters, especially in clubs, which would support her conviction.



I don't know if she was asking many questions, I'd have to re-read the convo. But she was certainly wasting his time, or rather his strategy was causing her to, as @Skills points out above.


I'd beg to differ. The majority of girls will tell you that most guys who approach them are anything but ultra straightforward, at least in the countries I've been. Yes, of course announcing your sexual desires in a straightforward manner can be uncalibrated, e.g. if the girl is already uncomfortable with your presence or if your delivery/body language is off. Again, that's a subject for another post.



Inconvenience is one thing, knowing when to cut your losses and move on is another.

It seems I judged you wrong, @Baron. You have more experience than I noted.

Glad to have you around.

 

[ThePicker]

If my post came across as a personal attack, that wasn't my intention. I was trying to address the ideas, perhaps it came off a bit strong. I'll try to keep the rules in mind.

As for direct vs indirect, I've probably run indirect game more times than direct game and we're talking 15+ years of being "in the community" so it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the concepts. I've dabbled in the full spectrum, from the most indirect form of indirect game (Mystery method etc) to ultra direct/"mode one hardcore" game (e.g. telling a girl "I wanna fk the shit out of you"). In my experience, being direct has a number of specific advantages, but that's a topic for a separate post.



erm, yeah, pretty much. Plus, he's a Spaniard living in Poland, where I'm also based. Southern European guys here have a reputation among the local girls of being hunters, especially in clubs, which would support her conviction.



I don't know if she was asking many questions, I'd have to re-read the convo. But she was certainly wasting his time, or rather his strategy was causing her to, as @Skills points out above.


I'd beg to differ. The majority of girls will tell you that most guys who approach them are anything but ultra straightforward, at least in the countries I've been. Yes, of course announcing your sexual desires in a straightforward manner can be uncalibrated, e.g. if the girl is already uncomfortable with your presence or if your delivery/body language is off. Again, that's a subject for another post.



Inconvenience is one thing, knowing when to cut your losses and move on is another.

Hello Baron, thank you for your answer

2) oh WoW, you live in Poland too?, I am surprised how many people from this forum live in eastern countries haha where do you live exactly?

3) Does your direct-game work with Polish girls? I think direct game would have a higher likelihood of working well with EU girls or with EU-minded girls. That's why I am hesitant to use it here.

However, I suspect that if I had good logistics I could be banging many of these girls on the 1st date, with "implicit direct game" (To my surprise, most of them seem to agree to come to my place on the 1st date. I just say something along the lines of: "Okay so at X, at my place" "I know meeting at the guy's on the first date is against Polish rules though but Im a rebel"
Depending on how they react (if I see that their shields turn on despite of having agreed, thus increasing their likelihood of a flake, I'll just follow along with: "Remember that If you're not comfortable with that we can also meet somewhere else, no prob ")
We never end up agreeing to meet at my place thou, since as it always turns out, that they live too far away to make it viable. I definetily need to move to the center.

4) About that particular girl:

I should've added the times at which each message was sent.

I texted her 1-2 messages each 1-2 days, to which she replied within the same day, usually in less than an hour. (Im not saying that's an IO thou, it's just her texting style).

What I mean is, I wasn't really overinvested.

As for the chess thing, this is smth we talked about in the club and I was genuinely curious about.

Anyway, what happened with this girl is just an example of what is usually happening to me with all the other ones.

At the club we talked about emotional stuff and "connected". We also made out and stayed in a sofa hugging each other and talking about life.

When I had to go, she wanted me to stay and tried to convince me to do so in an affectionate way.

I invited her to my place and tried to fondly and affectionately convince her to come with me as well xd.

(She said the proposal was tempting but she didn't end up accepting it)

What I can't really figure out is where/how I am screwing up.

Maybe I was too straight and pushy to go for another date?

Maybe it's exactly what you said: they just see south-Europeans as hunters?

I could give you many more examples of this type of situations I am encountering.

If only I knew what I am doing wrong (or not well enough).


5) As for the tropical beaches:

Yeah well, I must confess that I didn't really know what to say and that's a canned line I usually use to open girls on Tinder (which has been working like magic).
It didn't really fit in this context, but you get the idea, I just wanted to ask her out in a nonlogical/emotional way.

Doing some projection would have been interesting, though I don't think that would've increased my odds too much.

(I already tested it with no results, thus the girls' objection can't really be my lack of text game)

 

[Baron]

Hello Baron, thank you for your answer

2) oh WoW, you live in Poland too?, I am surprised how many people from this forum live in eastern countries haha where do you live exactly?

3) Does your direct-game work with Polish girls? I think direct game would have a higher likelihood of working well with EU girls or with EU-minded girls. That's why I am hesitant to use it here.

I'm usually in Krakow and Warsaw, but mostly Krakow. I assume you're in Warsaw?

By "EU girls", I assume you mean Western European girls as Poland is in the EU Direct game works better for me as not many guys are doing it and being a short guy in my 40s, that helps me stand out. But by direct game, I DON'T mean walking up to a girl and saying "I just wanted to say hi" or "I just came to say you're beautiful" or some shit like that. By direct game, I mean communicating your intentions in an honest, unambiguous way early in the interaction. It could be in the opener or a few minutes later in the conversation. It could be in straightforward manner or it could be more "poetic", depends on the situation and your personality.

But women's nature is the same, I don't see why direct shouldn't work well in any country where 1) there's a healthy number of single females 2) there are no strict religious laws against non-marital/non-monogamous sex 3) the economy isn't so bad forcing girls to heavily prioritise stability and security

Maybe it's exactly what you said: they just see south-Europeans as hunters?

In the context of direct game, this doesn't matter as you're not trying to hide anything. My earlier point was that she knows you want to get in her pants, so pretending otherwise just makes you look weak and less sexually appealing, in my experience.

Plus, ask yourself, do you really want to have a harem of girls, each of them thinking they are your exclusive girlfriend? Be careful what you wish for. Personally, I don't like drama, I'd rather have each girl know exactly where she stands and that I'm probably seeing other girls. If I lose a few potential regulars by being too honest, so be it. But the "game" is in persuading them to buy what you're selling.

Yeah well, I must confess that I didn't really know what to say and that's a canned line I usually use to open girls on Tinder (which has been working like magic).

Well, if it works, good for you. I used to do a lot of Tinder, but didn't get the results I wanted. These days, I'm not a fan of it.

 

[POB]

OK, I see what you were doing here. I was wondering why the OP was talking about tropical islands and shit, hence the tone of my first post. But you've expanded it into a proper sexualised future projection. Obviously some of the vocabulary might need dumbing down if the texter or the girl isn't a native or fluent speaker of English (OP is a Spaniard living in Poland). Not my kind of tactic, but it's a huge improvement on what the OP was aiming to do.

I think you got it (kind of)

And please, no apologies needed...nobody here is a fucking snowflake.
Plus I know exactly where you are coming from (=lots of experience in-field) where sometimes those indirect tactics are just meh.

OTOH texting is a different story, especially these days. I would really love to just flip my phone and go "Hey X, I'm free at 9. Let's meet again" after a first date. But this is clearly low odds. And I don't do low-odds cause my time is very precious.

I know texting girls is boring and makes you want to shoot yourself sometimes, especially compared to day or night game. But if you got her contact and need to make a second appointment though messages, well, you need to be a little creative. Let's just remember we are talking about a very specific sticking point of the OP:
- getting second dates from texting

His texting style is non-existent and he was chasing after she rejected (because as I said before he asked her out at a low point of the interaction). A time wasting bitch", as you called it, would not even bother responding after 2-3 messages. Or would keep stringing him along without purpose.

What happened is what I said: she is just a regular chick who was resting that day and politely said no to a guy she doesn't know that well > he kept pushing like a puppy > her vagina got dry. He chased the wrong way and she lost interest. That's it.

The fix for the OP is simple:
- getting better at texting (adapting ideas THAT ARE PROVEN TO WORK to his own personality)
- figuring out where he is in the interaction before asking her out
- trying the 3 bounce method, which is a sure way to get laid fast in the first date

As a final note, I know for sure my texting advice got guys laid (even some very very hard cases).
Heck, I tried and tested it myself for almost over a decade...and I'm still willing to listen to different ideas and opinions on the matter.
Remember: we are all here for what works, not necessarily for what we like.

BTW, welcome to the community

Best

~POB

 

[Skills]

I think you got it (kind of)

And please, no apologies needed...nobody here is a fucking snowflake.
Plus I know exactly where you are coming from (=lots of experience in-field) where sometimes those indirect tactics are just meh.

OTOH texting is a different story, especially these days. I would really love to just flip my phone and go "Hey X, I'm free at 9. Let's meet again" after a first date. But this is clearly low odds. And I don't do low-odds cause my time is very precious.

I know texting girls is boring and makes you want to shoot yourself sometimes, especially compared to day or night game. But if you got her contact and need to make a second appointment though messages, well, you need to be a little creative. Let's just remember we are talking about a very specific sticking point of the OP:
- getting second dates from texting

His texting style is non-existent and he was chasing after she rejected (because as I said before he asked her out at a low point of the interaction). A time wasting bitch", as you called it, would not even bother responding after 2-3 messages. Or would keep stringing him along without purpose.

What happened is what I said: she is just a regular chick who was resting that day and politely said no to a guy she doesn't know that well > he kept pushing like a puppy > her vagina got dry. He chased the wrong way and she lost interest. That's it.

The fix for the OP is simple:
- getting better at texting (adapting ideas THAT ARE PROVEN TO WORK to his own personality)
- figuring out where he is in the interaction before asking her out
- trying the 3 bounce method, which is a sure way to get laid fast in the first date

As a final note, I know for sure my texting advice got guys laid (even some very very hard cases).
Heck, I tried and tested it myself for almost over a decade...and I'm still willing to listen to different ideas and opinions on the matter.
Remember: we are all here for what works, not necessarily for what we like.

BTW, welcome to the community

Best

~POB

Tbh I think op is a waste of time, all of these I noticed was advice to him in identical post back in April...he didn't take action..

 

[POB]

The main issue is that I have a TERRIBLE sticking point (I can't seem to get 2nd dates, at least not as many as I'd like to).

I don't really know what to do about it.

I gave you the fix above and below

It's terribly frustrating.

It is!

I don't have any problems to get dates, and they seem very interested before and during the date, they will reply to my texts the same day of thr date, but then 2-3-4 days after, when I ask them out again, they disappear or they just dont have time (like the one girl I posted).

Ideally, you should NEVER wait that long to get a second date. Usually it's the day after (or 2 days tops) where you set up logistics for sex.

I am a Spaniard living in Poland. I've compared my "results" with other people, both foreigners and locals, and I seem to have a 1st-to-2nd date ratio just on the average or slightly above it.

Good! Means you are doing it right.

Which indicates that Im not necessarily doing anything wrong, it's just Im not doing well enough.

You ARE texting WRONG for sure. Need a more grounded base to start to text better.

Back in the days when I was in Spain, more or less 2 years ago, when I used to date girls there, my ratios were much better, the girl would always leave the date very engaged and willing to see me again, most of them would be the ones texting first after the date.
Same with EU-minded girls (Norwegians, Italians, etc).

Different locations sometimes require an adjustment in tactics. But it's doable for sure.

Here.... I always have to text first (if not, most of them won't), and a large etc.

That's the norm almost everywhere. You had it easier it seems.

I don't know what to do :/

Has any of you ever faced a situation like this one?

Hundreds of times.
Get better and smarter at texting and your results are gonna skyrocket!

What do you do to take your first dates to the next level?

- one hour or less if she is from online
- kino her
- talk about sex in a funny non-judgmental way
- ideally you should not kiss if you are coming from online
- try the 3 bounce method as an alternative to skip second dates

 

[Baron]

But if you got her contact and need to make a second appointment though messages, well, you need to be a little creative. Let's just remember we are talking about a very specific sticking point of the OP:
- getting second dates from texting

I guess I'm of the mindset that if you shouldn't need to "game the girl" over text if your in-person game was really strong in the first meeting or date. If I succeeded in making her think I'm the most unique, sexual guy she's ever met, then trying to "game her" over text would be overkill.

A time wasting bitch", as you called it, would not even bother responding after 2-3 messages.

Actually, that would make her less of a time waster.

Or would keep stringing him along without purpose.

That's pretty much what she ended up doing.

talk about sex in a funny non-judgmental way

Yeah, this is key. Not sure about the "funny" part though. A bit of wit and innuendo can go a long way but being a dancing monkey is not seductive at all. I also think kino is overrated. I tend to have more success holding off the kino as talking about sex with minimal kino builds more sexual tension. Then just an intermittent light stroke of the arm or thigh is all that's needed to increase arousal.

 

[POB]

I guess I'm of the mindset that if you shouldn't need to "game the girl" over text if your in-person game was really strong in the first meeting or date. If I succeeded in making her think I'm the most unique, sexual guy she's ever met, then trying to "game her" over text would be overkill.

Yes, that's the ideal scenario. But even if you "blow her mind" on the fist date, next day some shit happens in her life ("oh, my cat hurt his nose", "my nail broke", "my sister is pissing me off") and puff, that initial reaction is gone. Now what you do? Trust your "awesomeness" to get her in front of you again?

Actually, that would make her less of a time waster.

Good point. But see below

That's pretty much what she ended up doing.

Because OF HIM AND HIS BAD TEXTING. She was not a time waster until her vagina got dry from his bland lines. Like Skills said, that same chick would go and ask a guy with good texting what he's up to on the weekend.

Yeah, this is key. Not sure about the "funny" part though. A bit of wit and innuendo can go a long way but being a dancing monkey is not seductive at all. I also think kino is overrated. I tend to have more success holding off the kino as talking about sex with minimal kino builds more sexual tension. Then just an intermittent light stroke of the arm or thigh is all that's needed to increase arousal.

Now you are nitpicking.
I'm not gonna comment on this thread anymore because we are running in circles now and I think my points are pretty clear.
If you are not adding anything new to the discussion, we will have to agree to disagree on some points and move on.

 

[Baron]

Because OF HIM AND HIS BAD TEXTING. She was not a time waster until her vagina got dry from his bland lines. Like Skills said, that same chick would go and ask a guy with good texting what he's up to on the weekend.

I already acknowledged Skills' assessment in an earlier comment. One man's time waster is another man's submissive horny bitch.

Now you are nitpicking.

Yes, it was off topic. I got carried away.

 

[Skills]

I already acknowledged Skills' assessment in an earlier comment. One man's time waster is another man's submissive horny bitch.


Yes, it was off topic. I got carried away.

look at this other dude is the same is cause if you fuck up the texting subcommunication it destroy her live perception of the interaction look at this:
https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/was-this-needy.24740/

 

[Baron]

Now what you do? Trust your "awesomeness" to get her in front of you again?

May sound like I'm nitpicking again, but my objective is not to show her how "awesome" I am. It's to get her wet. Even if the date doesn't result in sex, I want her to get aroused and intrigued thinking about me afterwards. So when it's time to text her, I don't need to do too much work to set up another date -- or she'll be the one texting.

But I take your point about situations which call for more "creative" texting, e.g. if I wasn't able to fully achieve the above, and of course "buyer's remorse" type situations where her social conditioning/logical brain takes over. I guess my reluctance to endorse some of those tactics is that they might look overly "gamey" and unnatural over text.

In such cases, I'd rather get the girl on the phone than do much texting. But these days setting up a phone call is almost like setting up a date. If you call out of the blue they tend not to pick up (plus, I don't want to set the precedent that it's ok to call each other out of the blue), and arranging a time to call can be a pain in ass.

 

[Baron]

look at this other dude is the same is cause if you fuck up the texting subcommunication it destroy her live perception of the interaction look at this:
https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/was-this-needy.24740/

I just read it. Your response was hilarious. Yeah, bad/needy sub-communication. The dude was being way too nice and accommodating. Been guilty of similar shit like that in the past.

 

[ThePicker]

I'm usually in Krakow and Warsaw, but mostly Krakow. I assume you're in Warsaw?

By "EU girls", I assume you mean Western European girls as Poland is in the EU Direct game works better for me as not many guys are doing it and being a short guy in my 40s, that helps me stand out. But by direct game, I DON'T mean walking up to a girl and saying "I just wanted to say hi" or "I just came to say you're beautiful" or some shit like that. By direct game, I mean communicating your intentions in an honest, unambiguous way early in the interaction. It could be in the opener or a few minutes later in the conversation. It could be in straightforward manner or it could be more "poetic", depends on the situation and your personality.

But women's nature is the same, I don't see why direct shouldn't work well in any country where 1) there's a healthy number of single females 2) there are no strict religious laws against non-marital/non-monogamous sex 3) the economy isn't so bad forcing girls to heavily prioritise stability and security


In the context of direct game, this doesn't matter as you're not trying to hide anything. My earlier point was that she knows you want to get in her pants, so pretending otherwise just makes you look weak and less sexually appealing, in my experience.

Plus, ask yourself, do you really want to have a harem of girls, each of them thinking they are your exclusive girlfriend? Be careful what you wish for. Personally, I don't like drama, I'd rather have each girl know exactly where she stands and that I'm probably seeing other girls. If I lose a few potential regulars by being too honest, so be it. But the "game" is in persuading them to buy what you're selling.


Well, if it works, good for you. I used to do a lot of Tinder, but didn't get the results I wanted. These days, I'm not a fan of it.

Yes, Im currently based in Warsaw !

Maybe one day we could even meet for a drink.

As for what you said about the direct game, I do completely agree with you. I thought by "direct game" you meant a different, more sexual and straight-to-the-point thing.

"Letting her know your intentions, either implicitly or explicitly" works really well, true, even if they're all catholic haha

And yeah the degree of directness might vary, depending on the girl/context.


With regards to Tinder, I don't know how efficient it might be for the 30-45 cohort, but for the 19-27 it has been working wonders (in terms of getting 1st dates) for me and other local friends.

In case it was ever of any utility to you, my tested line is as follows:

+Compliment smth special about the girl's profile (maybe she has a cute cat, a unique style, she shows she's smart, she speaks several languages, etc).

So: Oh, you speak Spanish, that's +5 points! Haha
Right after that:
How do you survive the weather here? Let's run away together ! *her name*

She: Where to? Hahah (90% of the times they'll reply 'where')

You: To some tropical warm beach, surrounded by mojitos and coconuts ! Haha
You: Obviously !
(The latter is a small joke not too many people get. It's just a sort of absurd humour. You can give her points if she gets it and laughs)

She: I am in

You: Cool! But first we gotta meet up for a drink this week , I gotta make sure you're cool hahaha.

She: Yes! (Or whatever)

You: let's find a day, what days are u free?

*you arrange the date*

You: Cool, let's keep texting somewhere else, what're the texting apps you use the most? See u there


The line has worked really well

First, It screens out all the girls who're on Tinder just for validation from the girls who're serious about going on dates.

Second, it sets the right frame from the very beginning.

Third, you can even automate the line hahaha there're even apps for that

Some high-interest girls might need more time to go out on a date, in these cases a week of proper texting will suffice.

Mid-interest girls will say 'they don't know when they're free' or similar bullshit.

I haven't had much luck with mid-interest girls so far.

Lately however, I've been trying a new approach with these girls, which basically consists in moving the conversation somewhere else and, for as long as the iron is warm enough (and thus they still reply), start to "qualify" them (a Bait-Reward dynamic), a concept from mystery's method.

Can't say anything about its efficacy to get dates out of these group of girls yet, I'll eventually see how useful it is, but I have the sensation it raises their interest.

We will see.

 

[ThePicker]

I gave you the fix above and below

It is!

Ideally, you should NEVER wait that long to get a second date. Usually it's the day after (or 2 days tops) where you set up logistics for sex.

Good! Means you are doing it right.

You ARE texting WRONG for sure. Need a more grounded base to start to text better.

Different locations sometimes require an adjustment in tactics. But it's doable for sure.

That's the norm almost everywhere. You had it easier it seems.

Hundreds of times.
Get better and smarter at texting and your results are gonna skyrocket!

- one hour or less if she is from online
- kino her
- talk about sex in a funny non-judgmental way
- ideally you should not kiss if you are coming from online
- try the 3 bounce method as an alternative to skip second dates

Perfect,
Thank you for all the feedback.

I'll definetily try out some of your ideas.

I gathered many more ideas and stuff to try out so I'll definetily need many more dates to reliably screen what works for me and what doesn't.
It'll be a long journey.


PS: my texting game is not always so bad. I guess some days I feel witty, some days I don't haha.

 

[ThePicker]

Tbh I think op is a waste of time, all of these I noticed was advice to him in identical post back in April...he didn't take action..

I did !
But 1) getting dates is not always so easy, I wish I had 30 days/month to reliably test everything
2) I tested stuff, but some things just didn't work. Thus gotta keep looking for ideas and 'tactics' to try out.