Problems to get 2nd dates, help!

[ThePicker]

Yes, Im currently based in Warsaw !

Maybe one day we could even meet for a drink.

As for what you said about the direct game, I do completely agree with you. I thought by "direct game" you meant a different, more sexual and straight-to-the-point thing.

"Letting her know your intentions, either implicitly or explicitly" works really well, true, even if they're all catholic haha

And yeah the degree of directness might vary, depending on the girl/context.


With regards to Tinder, I don't know how efficient it might be for the 30-45 cohort, but for the 19-27 it has been working wonders (in terms of getting 1st dates) for me and other local friends.

In case it was ever of any utility to you, my tested line is as follows:

+Compliment smth special about the girl's profile (maybe she has a cute cat, a unique style, she shows she's smart, she speaks several languages, etc).

So: Oh, you speak Spanish, that's +5 points! Haha
Right after that:
How do you survive the weather here? Let's run away together ! *her name*

She: Where to? Hahah (90% of the times they'll reply 'where')

You: To some tropical warm beach, surrounded by mojitos and coconuts ! Haha
You: Obviously !
(The latter is a small joke not too many people get. It's just a sort of absurd humour. You can give her points if she gets it and laughs)

She: I am in

You: Cool! But first we gotta meet up for a drink this week , I gotta make sure you're cool hahaha.

She: Yes! (Or whatever)

You: let's find a day, what days are u free?

*you arrange the date*

You: Cool, let's keep texting somewhere else, what're the texting apps you use the most? See u there


The line has worked really well

First, It screens out all the girls who're on Tinder just for validation from the girls who're serious about going on dates.

Second, it sets the right frame from the very beginning.

Third, you can even automate the line hahaha there're even apps for that

Some high-interest girls might need more time to go out on a date, in these cases a week of proper texting will suffice.

Mid-interest girls will say 'they don't know when they're free' or similar bullshit.

I haven't had much luck with mid-interest girls so far.

Lately however, I've been trying a new approach with these girls, which basically consists in moving the conversation somewhere else and, for as long as the iron is warm enough (and thus they still reply), start to "qualify" them (a Bait-Reward dynamic), a concept from mystery's method.

Can't say anything about its efficacy to get dates out of these group of girls yet, I'll eventually see how useful it is, but I have the sensation it raises their interest.

We will see.

By the way,
At first, when I moved here, I could barely get any dates from Tinder or other dating apps.
Indeed, in this section there're posts of mine from october complaining about how much it sucks and looking for answers haha
By testing and testing, I finally found what worked and now I can say I am satisfied with my results (with the amount of 1st dates I can get, not so satisfied with my 1st-to-2nd ratio yet though haha).

One feels happy when the problems to face are different each time, as it is a signal of progression.
I hope my next post is about "HELP! I am regularly dating too many girls, how can I kindly turn some of them down ? "
Hahaha

 

[Baron]

+Compliment smth special about the girl's profile (maybe she has a cute cat, a unique style, she shows she's smart, she speaks several languages, etc).

So: Oh, you speak Spanish, that's +5 points! Haha
Right after that:
How do you survive the weather here? Let's run away together ! *her name*

She: Where to? Hahah (90% of the times they'll reply 'where')

You: To some tropical warm beach, surrounded by mojitos and coconuts ! Haha
You: Obviously !
(The latter is a small joke not too many people get. It's just a sort of absurd humour. You can give her points if she gets it and laughs)

She: I am in

You: Cool! But first we gotta meet up for a drink this week , I gotta make sure you're cool hahaha.

She: Yes! (Or whatever)

You: let's find a day, what days are u free?

*you arrange the date*

You: Cool, let's keep texting somewhere else, what're the texting apps you use the most? See u there

Thanks, but it's better we don't use exactly the same lines on Tinder in the same city, haha. If this works for you, then keep using it. I'd just replace the last line with something like "Cool. Let's stay in touch via Whatsapp. Write me your number" or "Cool. Let's stay in touch via Whatsapp. Here's my number: " More assertive, plus every girl has Whatsapp in Poland.

 

[Baron]

How do you survive the weather here? Let's run away together ! *her name*

Do you use that in the summer too? Summers in Poland get pretty hot.

 

[ThePicker]

Do you use that in the summer too? Summers in Poland get pretty hot.

Hahaha
I just replace "weather" with "Heat"

 

[POB]

@Baron , just to clarify some stuff (this is why we were running in circles):

DAY/NIGHT GAME
- insta date
- always push for SDL or SNL
- you handle her objections/logistics/resistance on the spot
- build strong connection
- get number and texting later is a last resort if everything else fails
- good texting to reengage is desired (if SDL/SNL fails or if you plowed her just once)

ONLINE
3 bounce method
- bounce her 3 times to easy ASD
- build a strong connection
- push for SDL or SNL
- good texting to reengage is almost mandatory (if SDL/SNL fails or if you plowed her just once)

ONLINE
2-3 dates method
- 1st date of one hour or less, sex talk and kino, no kiss
- no need to build a strong connection, just arouse her enough without spiking ASD
- 2nd or 3rd date at your place for sex
- no push for SDL or SNL, only if strongly hinted by her
- 3 bounce is not required
- good texting to reengage is almost mandatory (if you plowed her just once)

 

[Baron]

just to clarify some stuff (this is why we were running in circles)

Not sure what this clarifies ... we were going in circles over the issue of the girl being a time waster. For me, she was a time waster because OP didn't get to the point and was being too vague. For you, it's because he didn't get creative enough in his texting. We both in the end agreed on the fact that she was being a time waster WITH HIM, not that she's a time waster with every guy she meets (unless she's a lesbian, that would be absurd).

However, I'm not at all suggesting that he would have got the date had he been more assertive and less vague in his texting. He may have just got a less delayed rejection, but at least she wouldn't have wasted his time. And there's no guarantee that he would have got the date had he followed your recommendations either. All we can assume is that his chances would have probably been higher had he followed either of our suggestions.