Sexually inexperienced men need time and exposure to receptive women to learn to sense and respond to receptive women's signals

[SunnyVibes]

Hmm, interesting.
Any advice for seducers who wear glasses?
Peripheral vision is limited.
I have tried contacts before and will probably switch over, but I can’t confirm if they work or not.
Also, I’m very used to doing the direct eye approach thing.
I got it from HTMGC and never really stopped at that lol.
I would love to try out subtlety for a size, but I am inexperienced, and the name of this thread is basically Newbies find it difficult to read signs.
Soooo…keep staring?

 

[Beck Bass]

Hmm, interesting.
Any advice for seducers who wear glasses?
Peripheral vision is limited.

I've used glasses since before I started doing pickup and always used them on seductions (safe for the sex, for the most part lol, though I can't remember if I ever had sex with my glasses on).

About the peripheral vision I know what you mean, but you just gotta get a feel for it. Just go out a lot and pay attention to your periphery, try to practice the classic elite eye contact stuff and the "approach invitations invitations" (the one where you kinda look at the direction of the girl but don't make eye contact, so she notices you). Eventually you will get better.

Will you ever go in the direction of a girl instinctivelly thinking she's super hot and then turns out she's not all that?
Yeah, it happens lol

But the practice makes your eye contact more callibrated and your interactions smoother, because people will percieve you as having a higher social awareness (and therefore value).
But, again, it's mostly down to practice, but it doesn't take that long to get a feel for it and become relatively better, much like posture and some other fundamentals

 

[Conquistador]

Hmm, interesting.
Any advice for seducers who wear glasses?
Peripheral vision is limited.
I have tried contacts before and will probably switch over, but I can’t confirm if they work or not.
Also, I’m very used to doing the direct eye approach thing.
I got it from HTMGC and never really stopped at that lol.
I would love to try out subtlety for a size, but I am inexperienced, and the name of this thread is basically Newbies find it difficult to read signs.
Soooo…keep staring?

Glasses aren’t a problem but unless your budget is extremely tight (your main expense will be the cleaning fluid), consider getting contacts anyway.

 

[Beck Bass]

Glasses aren’t a problem but unless your budget is extremely tight

Yeah, with all I said, though, bear in mind I expent quite some money at the time on some cool ass glasses... And I'm glad I did (still wear them after years, maybe time for a change?)

I was just passing by a store on the mall with my ex, and I saw those glasses, it was almost like they were calling for me. My old ones my parents gave me, and weren't that bad, but also not my style. I tried those and my ex said I looked cool, I looked at the mirror and I was like hell yes, spent like a month of my "earnings" as a broke intern on them.
Mine are a bit circular, but also kinda triangular, I can't quite explaing the shape lol, but they are big, makes my eyes bigger, deff.
You gotta experiment and see what glasses makes you look cooler and sexier, if you're gonna use them all the time, you gotta make sure this accessory plays in your favor (and it can have quite a positive impact in your look, just go look into some... porn with girl with glasses lmao)

 

[SunnyVibes]

Yeah, with all I said, though, bear in mind I expent quite some money at the time on some cool ass glasses... And I'm glad I did (still wear them after years, maybe time for a change?)

I was just passing by a store on the mall with my ex, and I saw those glasses, it was almost like they were calling for me. My old ones my parents gave me, and weren't that bad, but also not my style. I tried those and my ex said I looked cool, I looked at the mirror and I was like hell yes, spent like a month of my "earnings" as a broke intern on them.
Mine are a bit circular, but also kinda triangular, I can't quite explaing the shape lol, but they are big, makes my eyes bigger, deff.
You gotta experiment and see what glasses makes you look cooler and sexier, if you're gonna use them all the time, you gotta make sure this accessory plays in your favor (and it can have quite a positive impact in your look, just go look into some... porn with girl with glasses lmao)

 

[SunnyVibes]

I've used glasses since before I started doing pickup and always used them on seductions (safe for the sex, for the most part lol, though I can't remember if I ever had sex with my glasses on).

About the peripheral vision I know what you mean, but you just gotta get a feel for it. Just go out a lot and pay attention to your periphery, try to practice the classic elite eye contact stuff and the "approach invitations invitations" (the one where you kinda look at the direction of the girl but don't make eye contact, so she notices you). Eventually you will get better.

Will you ever go in the direction of a girl instinctivelly thinking she's super hot and then turns out she's not all that?
Yeah, it happens lol

But the practice makes your eye contact more callibrated and your interactions smoother, because people will percieve you as having a higher social awareness (and therefore value).
But, again, it's mostly down to practice, but it doesn't take that long to get a feel for it and become relatively better, much like posture and some other fundamentals

Gotcha

 

[Marty]

Women are extremely attuned to how much attention guys are paying them.

I recall reading or hearing from a guy a while back who said he would just go out and stare at girls everywhere he went, and if they stared back that was his invitation.

I am starting to get the impression that even when some women are not looking back at me or even are outright ignoring me, they are aware of my interest. I can’t put my finger on it, but it is somehow evident from their actions.

 

[Jan]

(male blue manakin birds, for instance, require 10 years of learning game before they get their first lay. Be happy you're not a blue manakin...!)

Blue manakin should be an official term for a dude who's been trying pickup for so long and still can't land his first lay!

 

[Marty]

I've been playing the subtle game with girls since... ever. Just staring at a girl gives up too much power. I want them checking me out, working to get my attention, before they get it. Or if they're not, at least pre-open them and get them feeling like they looked first.

So the good rule of thumb with approach invitations: if you're getting them, don't even acknowledge the girl unless/until you're going to approach. A surreptitious glance to check her out before deciding whether to approach can be okay, but no direct eye contact, no checking her out while she's checking you out, until you're ready to rock and roll

By contrast, @Hector Papi Castillo seems to be saying in a recent video (at 02:49) that it is okay or even beneficial to show interest openly. That's actually quite similar to the thrust of Chase's article Get Girls Chasing: Give a Little to Get a Lot. I realize that I'm most likely off-base, but it throws me and probably other beginners for a loop when we struggle to reconcile several pieces of advice that are seemingly in tension with one another.

For me personally, the more blatant method seems to work better. If I try to "play it cool", I usually get ignored altogether. I once whispered "I love you" into a girl's ear on our first date. Five years later, she still comes to see me around 3 times a year, for roughly a week at a time, and texts me every day. (Obviously that is nowhere near enough for me, which is why I am back on the forum, but it serves to illustrate the point.)

I'd be interested to hear the more experienced members' opinions on the staring vs. subtlety issue in the context of approach invitations. My fear is that if I'm not looking, I'm not going to notice the invitation in the first place.

 

[Chase]

@Marty,

You're going to see differences in advice based on different styles and personalities. Or even for different contexts.

Personally, doing the "show obvious interest in her before you approach her" thing for me sets up this whole dynamic where the girl starts playing coy, instead of chasing, and I get in there and am like, "Well, this isn't going anywhere now."

Hector seems to like that dynamic though. He shows overt interest. The girl plays coy. He pushes harder. Teases her, busts on her. Leans into it.

The best thing to say is, "Test out the different approaches and see which one best fits you."

Chase

 

[Pups]

I believe women mostly communicate interest within their body language.

I have a list of ways, including if their feet are pointing towards you, if they play with their own hair, if they apply lipstick when you are nearby, if they leave the nape of their neck exposed to you.

Another more subtle one I’ve learned is just a subtle pleasant glow about her entire silhouette. It’s a glow that she knows a guy she likes is nearby.

Women are always a challenge to read but with some practice you can hone in on their body language and other physical combinations.

 

[Marty]

The best thing to say is, "Test out the different approaches and see which one best fits you."

Thanks so much, Chase, I have been doing that. At the moment I am focusing on maintaining strong, confident, deliberate eye contact until an attractive woman breaks off, every time I go about town. Hopefully I will be able to do this without going overboard as you described in your article on the Need-Utility-Threat model when you went through a phase of scaring people! For the time being, while I am not yet getting results in the form of intimacy, I am at least getting visible, strong reactions, even if women seem a bit shocked; so I know I am doing something different at least.

Personally, doing the "show obvious interest in her before you approach her" thing for me sets up this whole dynamic where the girl starts playing coy, instead of chasing, and I get in there and am like, "Well, this isn't going anywhere now."

I fully understand the dynamic you are describing, on paper.

However, where I am afraid of slipping up is...

Experimenting with this with approach invitations in cafés over the years, where I do a lot of work, and don't always want to approach because I have things to do and am not trying to switch over into PU mode, I have noticed that if I ignore a girl giving me AIs, she just makes them more and more obvious, working harder and harder to try to get my attention, and eventually sometimes will open me herself (especially if I am alone, doing something artistic like drawing on my drawing iPad, and/or wearing the cute-and-sexy look). The moment I acknowledge her AIs, though, she switches over to more subdued AIs and to a kind of "anticipate approach" mode. This will sometimes reset if you then ignore her for a long while... say 45 minutes... then she may eventually start signaling increasingly hard again, and occasionally might approach... the rest of the time she just gives up and seemingly concludes you're not interested.

...I very much doubt that I would notice any of this as it was happening. I just don't have the peripheral social awareness developed to that level yet. Therefore, I would probably conclude that I was being ignored, and I would be back to square one.

@Chase, tell me: You mention in several places that you went through a phase of attracting passive attention. I get the impression that this was in an institutional environment (college?), where you saw the same people over and over in the course of a few months.

During this period, were you able to attract attention passively only in social circle, or also in public settings such as the street, parks, malls, etc.? How would you advocate gaining attention passively in this way as a man?

The reason I ask is that over the years I have done a lot of work on my fundamentals (dressing stylishly and attractively, remaining in good shape, being able to speak intelligently on any subject, maintaining a desirable downtown residence to invite women home, etc.) but I'm not sure how to "convert" that into female attention.

 

[Chase]

@Marty,

...I very much doubt that I would notice any of this as it was happening. I just don't have the peripheral social awareness developed to that level yet. Therefore, I would probably conclude that I was being ignored, and I would be back to square one.

That's the first thing you need to work on developing, then.

Otherwise all these signals will fly right over your head.

I suspect this is all much harder for some folks than for others. If you are naturally in a constant state of social attunement, paying attention to what everyone around you is doing, picking up on various signals subconsciously even when your mind is on something else, you learn this stuff fast. Some folks I have noticed just do not pay attention to this stuff nearly as much.

Folks with ADD and folks on the autism spectrum are two examples of lower levels of social attunement (both tend to be off in their own worlds/thoughts/focuses a lot, and less focused on other people; although it's a lot easier for one of these to tune in than the other if they try). There are probably others.

As an experiment you might want to spend some time laser-focused on people whenever you are outside for a few weeks or a month. Just try to read what the body language, eyes, and facial expression of every person you see is telling you. Which people are behaving nonverbally friendly toward you? Which people look like they are trying to avoid you? Which people look like they are in a bad mood and spoiling for a fight? Which people seem predatory? Which people seem like they might want to meet you?

Pay especial attention to anything that makes you go, "Huh? Why did he/she do THAT?" because those are the more obvious signs people are shooting at you that you have not been reading correctly until now. When you notice difficult-to-understand signs, really zero in on those. If you can't figure out what they mean, it might make sense to make a list of them and the context they occurred in on the forum for guys to give you feedback. e.g. "Woman with a confident walk locked eyes with me, licked her lips, then tossed her head and looked away as she passed me. What's that mean?" "Man squinted his eyes at me as he passed me then spit on the street away from me. What's that mean?"

@Chase, tell me: You mention in several places that you went through a phase of attracting passive attention. I get the impression that this was in an institutional environment (college?), where you saw the same people over and over in the course of a few months.

During this period, were you able to attract attention passively only in social circle, or also in public settings such as the street, parks, malls, etc.? How would you advocate gaining attention passively in this way as a man?

The reason I ask is that over the years I have done a lot of work on my fundamentals (dressing stylishly and attractively, remaining in good shape, being able to speak intelligently on any subject, maintaining a desirable downtown residence to invite women home, etc.) but I'm not sure how to "convert" that into female attention.

No, I got it outside of social circle too.

Social circle was the most pronounced/aggressive, because I was doing so much to attract attention and was so totally focused on "never check out anyone else, ever" that girls figured out they had to be REALLY aggressive if they wanted to get me to focus on them. (those years were both really fun when stuff like that happened, and really horrible during all the long, lonely periods between-times of waiting for stuff like that to happen)

But yeah, I'd get that elsewhere too.

I don't have a lot of clear memories of "stranger attention" as a teen, but one that stands out was on a cruise with my family. I hated wearing shorts and considered them embarrassing. My father forced me to wear shorts that day, so I messed my hair up crazy to hang in front of my face and ditched my glasses, hoping to make myself invisible / make it so no other cruise passengers would notice me or look at me. Instead that backfired and some really cute teenage brunette with her own parents seated at the same table as us for lunch started brushing her hair back like crazy, smiling at me, and trying to get my attention. I was just sitting at the table with my arms crossed scowling the whole time as I ate my ice cream with my hair hanging in front of my face and ignoring this girl while also thinking about how hot she was and wishing our parents weren't there, as if I would've done anything back then (I wouldn't have), lol. I probably looked like some kind of moody emo kid which I guess caught her interest. I remember it because after we left my father commented, "That girl at our table seemed to like you," and I just muttered back, "I know."

I think I have said this a few times before, but... I am not 100% certain how much of "get women/people to pay attention to you" is learnable. As far back as I can remember I have always attracted attention. I didn't start trying to deliberately cultivate it even until I realized I already WAS attracting a lot of positive attention, then decided, "Let's see how far we can take this... can we make people just be CRAZY TRYING TO GET OUR ATTENTION 24/7 LIKE SOME KIND OF ROCK STAR?!?!?!"

Doesn't matter how I am dressed, what I am doing, if I am trying to avoid attracting attention to myself... people just pay attention to me anyway.

That said, as a result of this, I have also spent a lot of time focused on figuring out what you can do to attract MORE attention and get more chasing behavior happening... so I do have articles on it here:

Tactics Tuesdays: Get Approached by Women

Yesterday evening I was out walking home, when I noticed a tall, thin girl with long hair and a good body in front of me, walking very carefree in heels, tight jean shorts cut off just below the butt, and a tank top, swinging her hips very sexy as she went. She turned around and looked back in...

www.girlschase.com

Tactics Tuesdays: Attention Grabs (to Elicit Approach Invitations)

Here’s an oldie but a goodie from the bygone days of Fast Seduction: Jay’s (Formhandle’s) pre-approach invitation male approach invitation, which used the (rather exhausting) acronym ‘pAImAI’. It’s a complicated-sounding name for a simple technique: behave in an attention-grabbing way that...

www.girlschase.com

Tactics Tuesdays: Where to Post Up in Bars or Clubs

Guys often post up in all the wrong places when they hit the club. This is the guide to posting up right: all the best spots to nail down in clubs. If you pick up girls in bars and clubs, one of the issues you will soon run into is where to post up inside these venues. You’re not going to be...

www.girlschase.com

You Need to Stand Out (If You Want to Get Girls)

The most attractive men stand out. But many men fear standing out too much; to do so is to invite criticism, exclusion, or attack. How do you stand out in positive ways, and not negative ones? One of the biggest early revelations for me, and one I discussed with our charisma course, which we...

www.girlschase.com

@Gunwitch has one on attention grabs here as well:

Attention Grabs – Make Girls Think They Invited YOU to Approach

Your normal go-to openers may be great, but they can be even better if you make her think SHE invited YOU to approach. It’s so easy you can start doing this now! Contents I. The Approach Invitation II. Induce Your Invitations III. How Does It Work? IV. Other Examples V. Get Her Attention VI...

www.girlschase.com

A related topic is pre-opening, which I started doing to get the attention of women who were too caught up with friends or drinking too much or too in a hurry, etc., to notice me first... since I noticed that women noticing me first led to better-on-average receptions than me going in sans first notice:

Pre-Opening

Opening (or engaging a woman verbally for the first time) in-and-of itself is a necessity, something that must be done 96% of the time when you want to meet a girl (if we imagine that about 4% of opening is done by women themselves). It’s unavoidable and inescapable. Different types of openers...

www.girlschase.com

@Teevster has written multiple articles on pre-opening:

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.1: The Pre-Opener

Being able to open girls and hook them in quickly is essential. These pre-opening tools will help calm your nerves and make the process smoother. So I listened to Gunwitch’s podcast, and in it he mentioned that passing through the hook-point – when you and the girl (or group) feel settled in an...

www.girlschase.com

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.2: Speaker-Centered Pre-Openers

Less pressure on her, more leeway for you. This simple technique lowers her defenses and sets you apart from all the ‘other’ guys. Hey, guys, and welcome back. So, previously I shared a quick recap of the keys to hooking a girl – or a group – into a conversation. Contents 1. Speaker-Centered...

www.girlschase.com

Pre-Opening Cheatsheet: Use These Before You Approach Her

Do a few things right before you approach a new girl, and you raise the odds your approach succeeds. Spot invitations, create invitations, screen, build micro-momentum, and more. Contents I. Pre-Opening Spotting Approach Invitations Inducing Approach Invitations Target Screening II. In-Field...

www.girlschase.com

Anyway, to a certain extent it absolutely is learnable. I have multiple testimonials from guys talking about how they started focusing on fundamentals and on looking for women's signals and it's like all of a sudden they just emerged out of nowhere. One of our video One Date testimonials is from a buyer who talks very excitedly about how he never saw women's signals before, but once he started to notice them and discovered they were everywhere, happening all the time, and that "If guys only KNEW...!"

Hope this helps some.

Chase

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think I have said this a few times before, but... I am not 100% certain how much of "get women/people to pay attention to you" is learnable. As far back as I can remember I have always attracted attention. I didn't start trying to deliberately cultivate it even until I realized I already WAS attracting a lot of positive attention, then decided, "Let's see how far we can take this... can we make people just be CRAZY TRYING TO GET OUR ATTENTION 24/7 LIKE SOME KIND OF ROCK STAR?!?!?!"

Chase regarding this, how much does it really translate to results with women?

I always wondered, because even when I seemed to get attention, I would go open and the whole dynamic would change to: Oh so you do like me? Cute, but don’t expect much more.

It felt a bit like there was no point to carefully pay attention to indicators of interest, since they didn’t translate much to results anyway.

It’s probably because after I approach my attention is on the girl, I just want to get to know her and especially if she has given me a sign of interest I do this faster, since I know that the attraction is there anyway. Then I suppose it feels like I am too eager.

Maybe I should change my mindset when noticing signs, because my immediate reaction is: Ok this one likes me, let’s do this. I think they feel I approach them only because I saw the sign and think it will be easy, so they try to make it difficult.

But it’s difficult to even use signs of interest with girls I really like, since I notice them right away, and if I don’t go to approach immediately, it feels like I am waiting around trying to find a chance to talk to them. I think they feel I am interested from the get go, so they don’t give any signs, and the more time I spend not opening the more unattractive I become.

I know I should just not pay attention to them that much if I want them chasing, but it’s difficult when I see hot girls around to not take a look and check them out. I started doing it to overcome the shy barrier of not looking at people and sexualising women, but maybe I should force myself to stop.

So I am wondering what is even the correct way to take notice of them, since being aloof doesn’t really work either. Is it bad to show when you look at them that they really excite you? I think with the hottest ones they just see it in my eyes right at the open or even before.

I guess advice can also be conflicting sometimes, since I know that both your approach and Hector’s work, that said they are different as you mentioned, so sometimes I am wondering whether for example I am not showing my desire in the right way, or I should just not even show it up front, and I go back and forth, with neither really landing.

 

[DarkKnight]

I want to add something here... which is more important for advanced guys I guess. Reading signs is not everything.. you will notice a lot of times girl who are into you or even very into you but not available. Sometimes this can create mixed messages scenarios like in social circle seeing the same girls who you know like you but have walls around them due to whatever reason/insecurity. This can cause you to get frustrated or overly invested in dead ends.

I think I am one of those guys who are incredibly attuned to their environment. In such cases I have learned to put the responsibility on the other side to change, by withdrawing. And sometimes these girls re-calibrate and you sense a shift and it is game on, recently a blonde 8 shifted to me after 2 years. I have sensed for two years that she liked me but she made it hard to get somewhere by barely interacting

anyway what I am saying is ... noticing the signs of girls can also become a curse or a burden. In the end even this , your own attunement needs to be calibrated for your sanity. I have much more inner peace these days after a period of micro calibrating and trying to steer every interaction into something beneficial. There is still mutuality which needs to be considered. I am just happy to say that I am more socially light these days.

for cold approach obviously this is less relevant because you are already testing for compliance from the get go. but with social circle it can become a bit of a carrot (her) before the horse (you) situation.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Chase.. I just read your article. And your proposed method of seeing if a girl is truly receptive or just baiting attention is testing how frequent the signs are that she gives.

Now I am not gonna say I know better than you, but I have had some wildly different experiences.

I recall I made that post where I vented that I do not trust AIs anymore, It was because a girl was heavily signaling me, she was in a big group, I adressed the group, she jumped forward, I joined their class out of "curiosity" we vibed very well but at the end of the lesson she acted evasive.. and I was fucking pissed off for losing an hour, I discovered that night as well that she had a boyfriend. The irony is that other girls opened up later on and even the instructor who was a chick and SMOKING hot was angered but became very forward because I had focused on that one other girl, she probably thought why I do not focus on her but in someone a bit more basic. You even negged me a bit in that post lol, but did give valuable and helpful contribution

Similarly I had girls act super dramatic and miffed that I do not see them or notice them, I have had girls acting very enthousiastic, I had girls acting very confident flirty (paradox of the flirty girl) but they were attention seekers. Another chick who I knew from social circle baited me for an entire year, only to pull a "gotcha", gave me serious unnecessary reputation risk after a minor move I pulled off, I gave a serious freeze out of I believe 18 months and only relented when she finally seemed broken about it, because I started to pity her after her 200th attempt to repair. But she also had signaled me heavily in the past.

Meanwhile I have had girls who gave me no signs at all, avoided eye contact but my gut just screamed she wants me to engage her and I open them and they are super receptive and incredibly happy that I am talking to them. Some really hot girls at this one , like one I recently met a very tall blonde with her own company and really impressive. Another a scientist, geeky girl with great fundamentals.

Point is, I do not feel that checking for how frequent the signs are sufficient to screen out who is serious and who is not. girls who dont even sign me turn out to be surprisingly receptive and incredibly happy/relieved or even auto-investing and going real hard.

For me the single one most obvious sign is this :
Is the girl unnecessiraly avoiding me, despite throwing out of signs. If there is, and I am controlling for autorejection, or social risk, thinking in her benefit, but if all these things are void, but the girl is doing evasive stuff despite the AIs , I know I am dealing with bullshit. That is for me the biggest sign. Unfortunately it does demand some probing and patience from my side.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Hey @Chase , thanks for the article/answer to my comment. Posting it here for everyone who hasn't seen it:

https://www.girlschase.com/article/should-you-even-respond-womens-signs-interest

What I realise after reading your descriptions of heavy and light signals of girls is that I have been indeed approaching a bunch of girls signalling only lightly, but this is mostly because I don't really remember any of these heavier signals happening.

Or ok, to be more exact, I have had them happen, but probably never from a girl that I would consider particularly attractive, and that I would want to approach anyway. Saying probably because I don't remember such a case, most of the times that I have noticed heavier signals, or other people have pointed them to me, they were from girls that I didn't find particularly interesting, to the point that I never even paid attention to them in the room.

So it is a question if this happens because I immediately notice the girls I am attracted to the most, so they realise it and don't feel the need to signal, or I am just not registering to them at all as an option to signal to. I am generally very aware of attractive girls around, so I don't believe that they signal me and I don't realise. I am keeping note of what they are doing, how open they are, what's the best opportunity to approach, so I would see it if they were signalling heavily in one way or the other.

That's why I mostly started not caring about signals, because if I don't see heavy signals from the girls I like, what is my option really, I have to go approach anyway, or just let them go. Not that this really works either, most of the times they clearly know I am in the area and are just not interested, but at least I am taking my chances, or I would have to settle for the girls signalling more.

 

[theReason]

For me the single one most obvious sign is this :
Is the girl unnecessiraly avoiding me, despite throwing out of signs. If there is, and I am controlling for autorejection, or social risk, thinking in her benefit, but if all these things are void, but the girl is doing evasive stuff despite the AIs , I know I am dealing with bullshit. That is for me the biggest sign. Unfortunately it does demand some probing and patience from my side.

So if she’s going out of her way to avoid you, it’s a sign you should avoid her; regardless of any AIs she may be throwing.

Is that what you’re saying in this paragraph?

 

[DarkKnight]

So if she’s going out of her way to avoid you, it’s a sign you should avoid her; regardless of any AIs she may be throwing.

Is that what you’re saying in this paragraph?

I dont need to avoid anyone, but yeah when someone keeps slipping away from escalation that isnt the best of signs in my book. Because there are a lot of girls who know how to bait with AIs and engage in their push pull.

 

[Chase]

@DarkKnight,

AIs are less reliable the more confounding factors there are in the mix.

e.g., if you are in a café, walking down the street, or waiting for a train and she is alone and everyone around you is strangers, her only motivation to signal you if she does is interest. So, in these environments, AIs tend to be fairly reliable signals.

OTOH, if you are in a nightclub and she is surrounded by 1.) her close friends then 2.) more people who sort of know her (orbiters, staff, other acquaintances), you have many more confounding factors mixed in. Girls who want attention to show off how popular they are can signal you hard to get you chasing and make them look good in front of their friends or make their boyfriend jealous. Girls who might REALLY LIKE YOU but fear looking like a slut in front of people who know them may signal very subtly or not at all.

We can say there is a "signal quality" aspect to approach invitations, based on the existence (or not) of those various confounding influences.

If you want a shortcut for how much to trust AIs:

• The less reason she has to show off, the more reliable the AIs; the more reason she has to show off, the less reliable the AIs.
  
  
• The less chaotic the environment, the more reliable the AIs; the more chaotic the environment, the less reliable the AIs.
  
  
• The less social context in the environment, the more reliable the AIs; the more social context in the environment, the less reliable the AIs.

Basically, AIs are for signaling men to approach in environments where the man might not approach the girl unprompted or might not have noticed her. But they get coopted by egoistic girls in situations where they can use AIs to attract men for showing off, while shier girls become less likely to use them in those scenarios.

I would also add, with the nightclub girl example, the way you avoid traps like that is to start off with compliance testing right away. If she is legitimately very interested, she will also be very compliant. If she is not compliant, you know it's not a reliable signal and you can swiftly move to someone else.


@ChrisXKiss,

Hey @Chase , thanks for the article/answer to my comment. Posting it here for everyone who hasn't seen it:

https://www.girlschase.com/article/should-you-even-respond-womens-signs-interest

What I realise after reading your descriptions of heavy and light signals of girls is that I have been indeed approaching a bunch of girls signalling only lightly, but this is mostly because I don't really remember any of these heavier signals happening.

Or ok, to be more exact, I have had them happen, but probably never from a girl that I would consider particularly attractive, and that I would want to approach anyway. Saying probably because I don't remember such a case, most of the times that I have noticed heavier signals, or other people have pointed them to me, they were from girls that I didn't find particularly interesting, to the point that I never even paid attention to them in the room.

So it is a question if this happens because I immediately notice the girls I am attracted to the most, so they realise it and don't feel the need to signal, or I am just not registering to them at all as an option to signal to. I am generally very aware of attractive girls around, so I don't believe that they signal me and I don't realise. I am keeping note of what they are doing, how open they are, what's the best opportunity to approach, so I would see it if they were signalling heavily in one way or the other.

That's why I mostly started not caring about signals, because if I don't see heavy signals from the girls I like, what is my option really, I have to go approach anyway, or just let them go. Not that this really works either, most of the times they clearly know I am in the area and are just not interested, but at least I am taking my chances, or I would have to settle for the girls signalling more.

I added an article this week addressing a comment with an issue similar to yours:

What Makes Women Signal a Man to Approach?

If you look good as a guy but women still don’t signal you to approach, what gives? In fact, there’s more that goes into women signaling than a man’s looks. Commenting on my article “Should You Even Respond to Women's Signs of Interest?”, Sami-88 asked about why, despite his excellent fashion...

www.girlschase.com

Let me know if that addresses it.

But even if you are getting clear signals from hot girls, you still need to approach sans signals regardless -- most girls will not signal heavily (some won't even signal at all) even if they are very interested. They are too shy, too self-conscious, too inexperienced at sending men signals, etc.

So the rule of thumb is: if she's sending you strong signals and they're likely reliable, go in. If she's not, but you want to approach her, also go in!

(also pay attention to gut feelings. Because so much of this occurs below the level of both the man's and woman's conscious awareness, a lot of the time you will get a sudden intuition that "that girl -- I NEED to approach that girl" and it turns out when you do she is very into you and compliant... can even be some girl you only see from behind -- a certain way she is moving her body, etc.; women change their body language in subtle ways when they are ovulating or horny, and the subconscious learns to pick up on these -- though again, only after you have made enough approaches that your brain begins to recognize all these subtle signs!)

Chase