Sexually inexperienced men need time and exposure to receptive women to learn to sense and respond to receptive women's signals

[gameboy]

So the rule of thumb is: if she's sending you strong signals and they're likely reliable, go in. If she's not, but you want to approach her, also go in!

Love this!

(also pay attention to gut feelings.

I completely agree. However, as a beginner like me, a huge part of the challenge is to distinguish "gut feeling" from "approach anxiety".

Anxiety can often masquerade as negative gut feeling, don't you think?

 

[DarkKnight]

Love this!

I completely agree. However, as a beginner like me, a huge part of the challenge is to distinguish "gut feeling" from "approach anxiety".

Anxiety can often masquerade as negative gut feeling, don't you think?

No, even when I was very inexperienced I always sensed when a girl likes me with a gut feeling. that something is up. Gut feeling is from your gut, anxiety is from your head

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I added an article this week addressing a comment with an issue similar to yours

Hey Chase, yeah I was reading it and I feel it's about what I was talking about more or less. I feel my issue is a mix of all these conditions described, so I should focus on each separately.

One thing I still have difficulty grasping, although I also read the other article regarding how energetic to be when approaching, is how exactly to be open and warm while remaining sexy and getting results. I even understand that trying to be very alpha or macho is not the point, that said I feel that when I get more social and energetic I become more goofy and less masculine.

Not sure if this is what girls think of me as well, but at least it hasn't given me many results. And I have tried both being very silent sitting at the bar mysteriously by myself, and having this Beckster energy. The one thing from his video I'd say I have not done that much is all the leading around and manhandling at the level presented, but I surely had similar energy, even focused on a girl, she just eventually wouldn't come home.

So it's a bit confusing, how exactly to be open, social and fun but without sacrificing the desired edge. Because it's really not obvious to me how girls will go from having fun talking and dancing with you to following your lead to bed. It seems that yeah they may get interested in you, maybe also want to talk and get to know you, but that does not have a direct translation to her feeling she would like to sleep with you.

And because this is a thread about signals, how can you even know if a girl that notices you and is open to getting to know you is not just a warm, social person herself without any sexual interest. Most of the time they won't signal heavily as you said, so should we assume that whenever they engage us when they are free not to, they have some form of interest? Because there was a point when I thought that every girl that talked to me for a bit more, or laughed with my jokes, or just looked at me somewhat longer was at least a bit into me, and then I saw how these interactions went and started feeling delusional and that they probably care much less about me than I think and are simply social/polite.

I do agree with the gut feeling though, I have surely felt it, and especially with how some women walk/move or are dressed. Only issue here is that even if they are ovulating and are open to meeting men, it doesn't seem to mean that they are also open to meeting you specifically.

 

[DarkKnight]

Yesterday... I number closed a girl I knew for 2 years. Works at a grocery store, the moment I saw her I knew she had a thing for me. First she acted evasive and I took it as being shy, then I thought perhaps reputation risk. Turned out she has a boyfriend. .. anyway she acted incredibly aloof to the point it became disrespectful (I am after all a customer). I froze her out and engaged her coworkers instead for I dont know 6 months or something

Then I mellowed down and acted normal and just became a customer. Previous week suddenly her entire vibe shifted and it was ON. But I could not close her among her colleagues. Saw her yesterday instead and I asked her if she was about to quit her job.. it would not be the first or last time a girl suddenly drops all walls because it is now or never and this is the reason they go green. She said yes, so my assumption was right, she is slowly quitting her job.

Anyway during the number close I sensed she was not entirely there yet. Something felt off and she ghosted. Which means I will freeze her out again

Anywah here I am coolly watching the signs gaming multiple girls (I am quite succesful these days, covid rust has worn off and get opportunity after opportunity) but this girl is flip flopping left and right and I am pretty sure I am reading her very well as I am also reading it when I correctly intuit she will dodge

Point is.. I dont believe approach invitations should be do or die moments where you psyche yourself out believing it is now or never. These days it almost feels like tinder matches that you never know what the girls agenda is or what she is really about

My discernation is this:
Girl gives AI? Approach her with curiosity but definitely dont put all the pressure on yourself. She hasnt done anything to prove herself yet

Girl gives AI and tries to arrange logistics or getting with you -> DONT FUCK THIS UP. this is a real escalation window and if you even slightly come across as aloof rejecting the girl will feel snubbed

 

[Chase]

@ChrisXKiss,

Hey Chase, yeah I was reading it and I feel it's about what I was talking about more or less. I feel my issue is a mix of all these conditions described, so I should focus on each separately.

One thing I still have difficulty grasping, although I also read the other article regarding how energetic to be when approaching, is how exactly to be open and warm while remaining sexy and getting results. I even understand that trying to be very alpha or macho is not the point, that said I feel that when I get more social and energetic I become more goofy and less masculine.

Not sure if this is what girls think of me as well, but at least it hasn't given me many results. And I have tried both being very silent sitting at the bar mysteriously by myself, and having this Beckster energy. The one thing from his video I'd say I have not done that much is all the leading around and manhandling at the level presented, but I surely had similar energy, even focused on a girl, she just eventually wouldn't come home.

So it's a bit confusing, how exactly to be open, social and fun but without sacrificing the desired edge. Because it's really not obvious to me how girls will go from having fun talking and dancing with you to following your lead to bed. It seems that yeah they may get interested in you, maybe also want to talk and get to know you, but that does not have a direct translation to her feeling she would like to sleep with you.

There are optimal energy levels to come in at.

But you should still be getting results sometimes at sub-optimal ones. The guys who are too bouncy still get laid, as do the guys who are too tough-guy alpha bricks.

IMO the ideal energy is

1. Sufficiently (calibrated) expressive and animated BUT
2. Deliberate, firm, strong body movements AND
3. Coupled with getting into her physical space and touching/leading quickly

Must be calibrated to the girl and the situation. Less energetic in slower-paced, less social venues. More energetic in higher energy venues.

A good question to ask is, "How energetic would I need to be to command the attention in THIS environment of a girl in THAT mood?" then do that, coupled with deliberate movement + proximity/touch/compliance/leadership.

And because this is a thread about signals, how can you even know if a girl that notices you and is open to getting to know you is not just a warm, social person herself without any sexual interest.

Chat her up and compliance test.

If she complies, keep going.

If you hit a compliance wall, use her as a warm-up / preselection and keep moving.

Most of the time they won't signal heavily as you said, so should we assume that whenever they engage us when they are free not to, they have some form of interest? Because there was a point when I thought that every girl that talked to me for a bit more, or laughed with my jokes, or just looked at me somewhat longer was at least a bit into me, and then I saw how these interactions went and started feeling delusional and that they probably care much less about me than I think and are simply social/polite.

Are you going for compliance?

Are you touching these girls?

Are you taking the lead with them?

Anything other than this is just trying to mind-read them, which doesn't give any actual information.

It's you just mind-reading your own mental projection of what you think is in their minds, based on a very partial model of their minds.

I do agree with the gut feeling though, I have surely felt it, and especially with how some women walk/move or are dressed. Only issue here is that even if they are ovulating and are open to meeting men, it doesn't seem to mean that they are also open to meeting you specifically.

Well, if your dick goes in them, then you will know!

If not... keep looking

Chase

 

[ChrisXKiss]

@ChrisXKiss,



There are optimal energy levels to come in at.

But you should still be getting results sometimes at sub-optimal ones. The guys who are too bouncy still get laid, as do the guys who are too tough-guy alpha bricks.

IMO the ideal energy is

1. Sufficiently (calibrated) expressive and animated BUT
2. Deliberate, firm, strong body movements AND
3. Coupled with getting into her physical space and touching/leading quickly

Must be calibrated to the girl and the situation. Less energetic in slower-paced, less social venues. More energetic in higher energy venues.

A good question to ask is, "How energetic would I need to be to command the attention in THIS environment of a girl in THAT mood?" then do that, coupled with deliberate movement + proximity/touch/compliance/leadership.



Chat her up and compliance test.

If she complies, keep going.

If you hit a compliance wall, use her as a warm-up / preselection and keep moving.



Are you going for compliance?

Are you touching these girls?

Are you taking the lead with them?

Anything other than this is just trying to mind-read them, which doesn't give any actual information.

It's you just mind-reading your own mental projection of what you think is in their minds, based on a very partial model of their minds.



Well, if your dick goes in them, then you will know!

If not... keep looking

Chase

Yeah it is true that the compliance part is the one that comes less naturally to me, probably because the first teachers I ever followed in seduction were mentioning attraction and comfort aka value and attainability a lot, but I don't remember them stating explicitly how to get compliance. Anyway, not to use it as an excuse, I just took a bit more time until I really came across the concept and realised it can be used more strategically. So I should focus on going for compliance, and adjusting what I do with the girl based on the response.

Also love the 3 part break down of the ideal energy. I should take a look at the deliberate strong body movements part, since I think I've mistakenly paired these with the tough guy persona in my mind.

 

[Chase]

Yeah it is true that the compliance part is the one that comes less naturally to me, probably because the first teachers I ever followed in seduction were mentioning attraction and comfort aka value and attainability a lot, but I don't remember them stating explicitly how to get compliance. Anyway, not to use it as an excuse, I just took a bit more time until I really came across the concept and realised it can be used more strategically. So I should focus on going for compliance, and adjusting what I do with the girl based on the response.

Compliance is the one most guys forget more than anything.

If you want to get good at it, an exercise you can try is to aim to get compliance from a girl within 30 seconds of talking to her, then aim to keep getting compliance from her every 2 minutes until the two of you are sitting down somewhere (then switch to every 5 minutes; back to every 2 once standing up again).

Will train your compliance up real quick.

Will also change the way you look at dealing with women when you discover it is a whole lot easier to lead women than you thought, and all you had to do was ask.

Also love the 3 part break down of the ideal energy. I should take a look at the deliberate strong body movements part, since I think I've mistakenly paired these with the tough guy persona in my mind.

Yes. Couple strong movements with expressive behavior and you have an electric mix of masculinity + approachability and playfulness. Very sexy.

Chase

 

[Kaida]

Thanks for the write up Chase!

Deliberate, firm, strong body movements

Any chance you can explain what you mean by “strong” movements? I think I’ve been stuck on this one for a while. Could never understand what it meant

 

[empath]

I guess same goes for sexually inexperienced womens also

 

[Chase]

@Kaida,

Any chance you can explain what you mean by “strong” movements? I think I’ve been stuck on this one for a while. Could never understand what it meant

Check out how Dwayne Johnson moves:

He's expressive but his gestures come to a sharp, decisive stop.

Compare his movements with the movements of the interviewer, which are what I would call 'softer' movements (no clearly defined stopping point for the interviewer's body movements).

Maybe you could call these types of movements "pointed" or "decisive."

Lots of actors use them. You will also notice many naturals move this way.

It is not just the hands either. Watch head movements, torso movements, etc.


@empath,

I guess same goes for sexually inexperienced womens also

For sure.

Young & inexperienced girls are totally retarded about reading guys' signals, lol.

You just have to walk them through the seduction.

Chase

 

[empath]

For sure.

Young & inexperienced girls are totally retarded about reading guys' signals, lol.

You just have to walk them through the seduction.

Chase

Sorry if its a derail but can you give some examples how to do it because i recently had dates with 2 different girl who had only one lover that is their bf only.

They were giving complaince but behaving very childish and silly kids where as experienced girls feel more womanly and this led i getting friendly vibes from them and they saying we can be friends or I am getting only friendly vibes till now. (Don't know if it was call to step up my game).

Kino was also hard with them I guess only very blatant crude humor I could have used because they were not picking up subtle chase/sex frames.

 

[Kaida]

@Kaida,



Check out how Dwayne Johnson moves:

He's expressive but his gestures come to a sharp, decisive stop.

Compare his movements with the movements of the interviewer, which are what I would call 'softer' movements (no clearly defined stopping point for the interviewer's body movements).

Maybe you could call these types of movements "pointed" or "decisive."

Lots of actors use them. You will also notice many naturals move this way.

It is not just the hands either. Watch head movements, torso movements, etc.

Ahh I see now! I realize I do that a lot sometimes.

I feel like there may be some nuance to it tho. I feel like always doing strong movements even in more chill environments (late game 1on1 imtimacy vibe with a girl) may come off ton deaf and dissimilar. Not sure if my example is the right one but hopefully you get where I’m coming from.

Is my read right?