I've been recording my outings but I didn't post them here because I was busy, so I have a ton of posts to catch up on.
2/29/2020 Saturday
Only did one approach because when I got there it was already dark and it was a Saturday night. but the venue itself was really promising for a Saturday night. Lots of dating coaches like to do bootcamps there. In fact, I saw an rsd coach shooting some infield footage for his student. It was honestly weird and comical seeing it happen in real life. The coach was pretending to be on a phone call while he held the camera down by his hip. I assume the student was also wired up.
Anyways, enough about them. The girl I approached was this cute Japanese chick. She was half receptive to my opener. Then, she was about to go into a Sephora, but I told her to stop for 2 minutes because I wanted to get to know her and she seemed interesting. (I can phrase this a little bit better next time but I'm just really proud of myself for getting her to stop and chat, since last month I would lose so many girls because they suddenly went into a shop when it's not like they had any actual time constraints). Anyways I learn that she's just visiting with friends for 5 days. I deep dive her on what she's studying and have her show me her necklace. Since she's traveling I could ask her if she wants to live in this city forever and when she says no, I can flirtatiously ask "and what if you happen to meet a really cute guy in (city)...would that make it more likely...?". I find out that she has dinner plans after so I suggest grabbing a drink later if she has time but she says she won't have time because she's traveling in a group. I let her go here but if I had done more flirting and built more arousal, I could've said something like "I'm sure your friends won't mind if you meet a cute guy for drinks once. In fact they'll probably be happy for you. " (Hector had suggested something similar on another field report and I think it could apply here)
3/1/2020 Sunday
Had one instant date with a Cambodian chick. I wrote about it here
3/3/2020 Tuesday
I went to a nearby community college. I passed up approaching an asian girl with a fat ass and really nice legs.
The
first approach was alright but the girl wasn't super invested until I started asking her about what she likes to do besides work and school. So she said snowboarding and she was starting to pay more attention after that but I let her go off to class and did not take down her number.
The
second girl just thanked me and went on. I could've asked her to stop and chat for 2 minutes, but who knows if that would've gone anywhere.
The
third girl was this really gorgeous asian-american student. She was dressed in just a white top and tight jeans but she had a really elegant and chill way of walking, and she had wide hips and a slim waist, but not too slim either. It was just the perfect hip-waist ratio. I can't explain it. And her hips swayed ever so slightly as she walked, but not an over the top sway(not like some fiery latina, although those girls are sexy too in their own way).
Me: Hey excuse me. I was actually just coming by from over there and I thought you were glowing...
Her: haha thank you (she automatically stops walking)
Me: So I just had to say hi
Her: Hi, nice to meet you, I'm B
Me: B, Skippy
Her: Nice to meet you
Me: [I blatantly check her out] Wow. What are you up to today?
Her: I'm just waiting for class to start I just got out of a meeting
Me: Oh what do you do?
Her: Um I'm in communication disorders so I'm going to Rome for the summer. For a study abroad
Me: Is it going to be your first time traveling abroad?
Her: does canada count?
Me: depends, where in canada?
Her: Vancouver so it's a little different. Have you studied abroad?
Me: Yea I went to china for a study abroad
Her: how was that?
Me: Oh it was great, everyone is really friendly if you're a foreigner.
Her: oh, I've never been. I would go just not right now haha
Me: yea. So was Rome your first choice then?
Her: well I havent really heard of another program besides the rome study abroad. so yea kinda. I mean I've always wanted to go to Europe
Her: So while I'm there I'll just travel everywhere else
Me: Oh yea you can just take the train and try all the exotic food.
Her: Hopefully while I'm there not everyone is prejudiced against like asians cuz of the whole virus thing.
Me: Oh yea haha
Her: But it'll be fine. Hopefully things will subside by then
Me: Yea if you walk around with a face mask they'll definitely...
Her: yea for sure they'll just stay their distance
Me: Even the pickpockets wont bother you
Her: You know that's true. I'll just start coughing a little and maybe they'll stay away from me
She asks me what I study and what I want to do so I make sure to play up my passion for it(which is true). Then I ask her what is something she really enjoys doing and she says travel and brings the question back to me. I talk about my yt channel a little bit. I ask her where she wants to travel and she says greece, and maybe she'll visit it when she is in europe this summer. She throws the question back to me and I say japan. The conversation moves to disney because there is a big disneyland in japan and I find out that she really likes disney and she realizes that was a better answer to my question of what she really likes to do. We talk about disney movies a bit, and transition to charlie and the chocolate factory (we were talking about whether classics are better than remakes) and then we talk about starbucks reserve (which kind of reminds me of charlie and the chocolate factory)
Then she shared some stories about costa rica. and I related by sharing my own stories of traveling. After a while conversation stalls and she picks it up asking me "so what are you up to today" and she asks me how I like my current uni and asks about how I like my hometown. She grew up in this state but she has family in georgia so she tells me about mudbogging when she was little. then we talk about virginia. I did tease her a little bit throughout the interaction. Like when she goes off to italy she'll come back as some wine snob. Eventually she has to go to class so I suggest we get wine some other time(she doesn't like beer, and neither do I actually) she's down so she puts in her number, and her
full name into my phone. I find out she lives on the east side of my city and she tells me about some good restaurants there and says maybe we'll go there sometime. I thought she'd come out on a date because she 1.stopped when I opened her 2. put in her full name 3. would actively carry the conversation forward. 4. responded to my ice breaker very quickly. But I was wrong...
Me[~10am]: hey [gurl], hope your class was chill yesterday! after I got home I skyped with an old classmate from [country]. It just felt so refreshing to reconnect. anyways, what's your schedule like this week to grab that food or drinks(but totally not beer?
Her: [responds at the end of the day]Hey sorry I've been at school all day
I'm so glad to hear about you reconnecting with your friend! I do have to disclose that I am seeing someone I just didn't/don't want to give you the wrong vibe. I'm always here as a friend if you need someone to talk to or grab a bite though!
Me[next day]: hey no worries, I understand
Her: thanks
you're a good guy
In two texts she managed to make me feel like a clueless 15yo all over again. wow. There were just a lot of factors that combined to make this rejection particularly painful (but it's chill now, this girl is
so last week) But I was thinking about this interaction, and it's true I wasn't building very much arousal. and I think she was the arousal type because she would actively help me out when I was teasing her. There was no actual flirting. A little banter,yes, but not enough. Also the conversation was very logical and factual. I didn't dig into the underlying emotions very much. We did share stories. but even then, not so much about emotions. Could also be that I'm overthinking this and she's just not sexually available right now(since she mentioned she's seeing someone...who knows how serious that is or if it's even true. She didn't call him a bf). I did feel like she was hard 'friendzoning' me in those two texts. So I don't think I did a very good job with arousal. Also I didn't touch her at all either. Also, I didn't ask for compliance! she naturally stopped on her own which was nice but maybe that's not enough actually.
I will post the remaining outings tomorrow