Skippy's Daygame Journal

[terminator92]

Background

Getting back after a 1-month break. I hadn't orgasmed since Saturday. I glance outside the window and notice a gorgeous girl walking by, wearing all black with black hair and sandals. I feel the desire and quickly get changed to see if I can catch her in time. I step outside, but she's nowhere in sight by then.

My Outfit:

F-bomb jacket. gray jeans, white sneakers.

Girl 1: Notice a cute black girl by the intersection. I wave to catch her attention and she removes her earphones.

Me: hey I just realized something...That is the second-best pink jacket I've seen all-day she says thanks and compliments me on my jacket too. I ask her where she's headed and she says shes going to the bank. I wish her a good day b/c I'm heading in a different direction.

The mistake is that I started talking to her after the walk sign had come on. So this wasn't really a stationary approach. Also, I don't know if the 'second-best' part is really registering with girls. They never ask who is the best...but I need to do more of these approaches before I can get a good idea of how they're responding.

I went back and reread Terminator's advice on this opening, and I realized I need to really make it clear, and that I need to work on the delivery some more and really think it through a little bit so that I'm not winging it so much. So I'll practice it a little bit before I go out, and I'll come up with 3-4 example s for different scenarios. Two things that I'm trying to figure out:

1. What to do if she just says thanks and doesn't ask who is the best
2. What to actually say about who is the best.

What if I just leave it at second best? and don't bother to clarify

Girl 2: (did this approach 11/25, aka today)

She looked like she was working at a pharmacy and I noticed her perky ass as she walked by. She stops at the intersection and I catch up to her. She was engrossed in a youtube video on her phone.

Me: Hey, I just realized something...That is the second-best all-blue outfit I have seen on anyone today.
Her: Thanks
Me: Second only to myself, of course (gestures at my outfit. I'm not wearing anything blue)
Her: Of course! (playing along) (she wordlessly shows me her phone, I don't know why)
Me: I'm glad you have a sense of humor, (signal changes, we start walking) what are you up to today?
Her: Just buying lunch
Me: Supporting the local restaurants, I see.
Her: yes (at this point she was back to her youtube video)
Me: Okay take care!

She was walking weirdly. First, she was on my left side, but it seemed like she was reluctant to walk with me when the signal changed and she switched to walking to my right side and did not match my pace, and kind of just hung back. Maybe I should've said "well, it's good you have a sense of humor, you're kind of cute actually" And maybe I should try out exchanging names sooner.

Girl 3
I did see the girl from earlier but she disappeared into an apartment building before I was able to catch up to her.

Girl 4
One girl got out of a car to drop something off so I waited a bit for her to come back but she ran back into her car again. I've missed a lot of girls this way and I could've approached another girl who was walking in a different direction instead, but I lost both of them in the process. In reality, I probably could've caught up to the other girl and opened her if she stops at an intersection. Note to self: Along this specific street, be aware that the window of opportunity is very low for these kinds of approaches.
What I did well:

1. Did an approach as soon as I got out of the house
2. I have a better idea now on how to run these openers.

What I could've done better:

1. I need to get more volume in now.
2. I got tired and feel completely drained right now. I only took 8000 steps though. I have to remember to either build up to it, if it's been a while, or stay active if I'm going to be away from the field. I was hitting the gym actually but I wasn't doing much cardio. So the next best thing is to make sure to get enough sleep.

Homework for next time:
Open with "that is the second best xyz I have seen on anyone today." If she doesn't ask just say "second only to me, of course ...but that can't be helped". Qualify her on her sense of humor, then exchange names and do a cold read. I also really liked this post by Chase: https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...ary-i-dont-enjoy-it-at-all.23805/#post-125726 and I want to make that a hw assignment at some point.

Yes, @Skippy I had the same problem when I first tried out the second best kind of openers. Firstly I needed to get used to this and then it is all in the delivery. It would be "I just saw you and had to say this (pause, kind of squint your eyes, with a cheeky smile, let the pause register and tension build so her attention is fully on you) second best ........ I have seen today"

But at the end of the day, its an opener if they say thanks and don't ask who was the best, it does not matter. You are in an interaction now and you should have other things to say. Having some Gambits, routines to cover the first 10-15 mins of an interaction works great or at least helped me a lot in getting consistently to the hook point before Covid put a halt to my approaches again. Also the approaches you did I notice were girls who were only stationary for a moment and then started moving again. Better to pick locations where you feel the woman is at least going to be stationary for 3-5 mins after you open. This of course would mean you will have to work a little harder to find them. But I feel it is better to have 4 approaches of at least 5-10 mins each than 10 approaches of just 1-2 mins in order to improve our Game. I shared a structure with @Beam recently that I had been using. I do not want to post it on the forum yet as I have not field tested it enough but I will share it with you in a private conversation so check your conversations. It maybe helpful and you can try it out and see how it works for you.

 

[Skippy]

Yes, @Skippy I had the same problem when I first tried out the second best kind of openers. Firstly I needed to get used to this and then it is all in the delivery. It would be "I just saw you and had to say this (pause, kind of squint your eyes, with a cheeky smile, let the pause register and tension build so her attention is fully on you) second best ........ I have seen today"

Got it, that makes sense. I'll keep that in mind and practice the delivery that way!

Also the approaches you did I notice were girls who were only stationary for a moment and then started moving again. Better to pick locations where you feel the woman is at least going to be stationary for 3-5 mins after you open. This of course would mean you will have to work a little harder to find them.

Yeah, that's true, I have not approached a girl that was legitimately stationary. It looks like I'm going to have to brainstorm a bit more in that case. Based on my area, bus stops come to mind, and I can think of a couple of those that could be promising. So I'll test them out tomorrow and see how it goes.

Thanks for the help!

 

[Skippy]

Today I tried out the bus stops but everything was dead this weekend. (Not a good enough excuse, because I did see a solidly stationary girl just standing and checking her phone, that I was about to approach but hesitated and by the time I gathered the courage and walked back, she decided to leave.)

I figured out a good way to post up near the bus stops, however. Since there is a conglomeration of 4 of them. I just stand at one as if waiting for the bus and subtly keep an eye out for any talent at the other 3. If so I'll walk over there and open. If not, I can just stay put and no one will give a shit.

Meanwhile, I did two approaches practicing the pause in delivery that @terminator92 explained. It's starting to come together now! One of the girls was this obese older woman (I just approached her b/c she was there and it'd be easy to practice delivery). The second was this cute black girl with a big ass. She was walking, but I just had to go up to her because she looked good. We exchanged names and she asked me why it was the second-best. I said "second to me, of course". "That's what I figured", she said. But in the middle of the interaction, her phone rang and she started chatting on that, while still walking with me...It was awkward. Then she went a different direction and completely ignored me.

I'm not sure what to do if the phone rings in the middle of the interaction. Usually, it'll kill the interaction completely. Tomorrow, I will test out the bus stop post-up and see how it goes.

 

[Skippy]

The bus stop post-up did not work so well because it was a Sunday afternoon, and things have been dead this weekend. BUT I think this should be fine tomorrow.

Still, I managed to approach one girl waiting for the bus. She was an aesthetician, which reminds me I need to figure out how to follow up the openers now. I heard 'anesthetician' at first so I was confused and thought she was the one who measured anesthesia doses or something. But she explained what she does. I could have followed up with "Oh so while I was standing here talking to you, you were probably just trying to figure out why I have such beautiful eyelashes, weren't you!" We were interrupted by the bus arriving, unfortunately.

I also realized that if I'm approaching girls at bus stops, I don't need to ask them what they're up to that day, because the only thing that will end the interaction is the bus arriving. (And that too, not necessarily). I could probably ask them which bus they're taking and figure out things from there. or I could say early on that I was just walking by, chat for a little bit, and then number close before the bus arrives. (come to think of it, I've done that actually)

I also found a nice bench that I could chill out at, and wait for a girl to pass by. This would be to supplement in case bus stops are dead at a particular time.

hbinterior: I have a date planned with her on Tuesday. It was supposed to be on Monday, but she texted me today saying she's going to the car dealership maybe tomorrow and was asking to reschedule. This is okay, actually. I can do a little more prep work then. I will study and practice the video that Velasco posted on the texting thread, about sexualizing the date:

Lemon: Haven't heard anything from her yet. I hope she doesn't text me on Monday night asking if I'm free Tuesday. She has a habit of texting me to schedule things last minute. I'm leaving to go home for the break in a couple of days so the window is closing.

 

[terminator92]

The bus stop post-up did not work so well because it was a Sunday afternoon, and things have been dead this weekend. BUT I think this should be fine tomorrow.

Still, I managed to approach one girl waiting for the bus. She was an aesthetician, which reminds me I need to figure out how to follow up the openers now. I heard 'anesthetician' at first so I was confused and thought she was the one who measured anesthesia doses or something. But she explained what she does. I could have followed up with "Oh so while I was standing here talking to you, you were probably just trying to figure out why I have such beautiful eyelashes, weren't you!" We were interrupted by the bus arriving, unfortunately.

I also realized that if I'm approaching girls at bus stops, I don't need to ask them what they're up to that day, because the only thing that will end the interaction is the bus arriving. (And that too, not necessarily). I could probably ask them which bus they're taking and figure out things from there. or I could say early on that I was just walking by, chat for a little bit, and then number close before the bus arrives. (come to think of it, I've done that actually)

I also found a nice bench that I could chill out at, and wait for a girl to pass by. This would be to supplement in case bus stops are dead at a particular time.

hbinterior: I have a date planned with her on Tuesday. It was supposed to be on Monday, but she texted me today saying she's going to the car dealership maybe tomorrow and was asking to reschedule. This is okay, actually. I can do a little more prep work then. I will study and practice the video that Velasco posted on the texting thread, about sexualizing the date:

Lemon: Haven't heard anything from her yet. I hope she doesn't text me on Monday night asking if I'm free Tuesday. She has a habit of texting me to schedule things last minute. I'm leaving to go home for the break in a couple of days so the window is closing.

Great work! Approach more stationary girls. Also one thing, at what point did you ask her what she does? I feel another thing that I and several others who started off with direct daygame get into the habit of is asking questions about her too soon. I had to work hard to break this habit. When I was Improv ing (winging) all my conversations, I used to need to know these things to then build off them, but girls are not willing many a times to tell you their name, what they do etc. so early or they do so in a guarded manner wondering why this guy is so sold on her or so interested in her so soon.

Imagine if a girl or even a really attractive girl came up to you, complimented you and started asking you your name, what you do, what you are upto now etc. You would think "This is fishy? What's the catch here? Is she a hooker, am I getting scammed? Why the fuck does she want to know all this?" It feels like she wants something from you. Its the same for girls, so even if you are going direct and start with a compliment (which I don't suggest by the way. Or start with a very light compliment) pull it back and go into some routines or gambits or conversational threads which can make her laugh, intrigue her or make her curious or just let her know you are a normal social guy without giving off the vibe that you want something from her. The vibe should be "hey check this out......" or "you know what happened to me............" and you should be enthusiastic and caught up in what you are saying which will then cause her to think "who is this guy?" In fact nowadays I don't ask her what she does, her name etc. till she brings that up.

That's what Bacchus writes in his daygame articles as well. He gets her curious so she asks him his name, where he is from etc. I have been following these guidelines and they work. It just requires more work and thought from your side than asking her questions and trying to build off that. In fact try an exercise work on structuring the conversation in a way where she asks you where you are from or your name etc.
Go out approach girls and talk to them and your only aim is to talk to them until they ask you a personal question.

Try it out and this will help you improve your verbal game a lot. In fact don't even start with a compliment, instead the compliment will now be something you can use after she asks you a private question. Then you can notice something about her suddenly and say "Btw I just noticed you have really nice........"

 

[Skippy]

Go out approach girls and talk to them and your only aim is to talk to them until they ask you a personal question.
Try it out and this will help you improve your verbal game a lot. In fact don't even start with a compliment, instead the compliment will now be something you can use after she asks you a private question. Then you can notice something about her suddenly and say "Btw I just noticed you have really nice........"

I love this idea for an exercise! Last year I was doing a no phone numbers, only instant-dates challenge to get the girl to hook strongly and this reminds me of that. During the break, since I won't be able to go out, I will prepare some stories, gambits, and baits to build intrigue and learn how to follow up the openers. I will become a master baiter...

That's what Bacchus writes in his daygame articles as well. He gets her curious so she asks him his name, where he is from etc. I have been following these guidelines and they work. It just requires more work and thought from your side than asking her questions and trying to build off that. In fact try an exercise work on structuring the conversation in a way where she asks you where you are from or your name etc.

Yes, looks like I'll have to read his stuff more carefully and actually practice it. Today I reread his daygame articles on how to follow up with the openers and the related ones linked inside.

Also one thing, at what point did you ask her what she does? I feel another thing that I and several others who started off with direct daygame get into the habit of is asking questions about her too soon. I had to work hard to break this habit. When I was Improv ing (winging) all my conversations, I used to need to know these things to then build off them, but girls are not willing many a times to tell you their name, what they do etc. so early or they do so in a guarded manner wondering why this guy is so sold on her or so interested in her so soon.

Yeah it was pretty much how I followed up my opener. Usually, I'll do it as a cold read or something. Or usually, I'll follow up with "what are you up to today" to get an idea about logistics, and then a cold read. But I don't really have a solid plan for following up and I usually just have to go off of what she says and try to banter off of that

 

[Skippy]

Today's Outing 11/30/2020

Today, I walked around for about an hour and a half at the bus stop hub. I saw a lot of cute girls walk by but none stopped there. Err maybe there was one but I missed her. Then, on my way to a local Walgreens I saw a cute girl at a bus stop so I stood by, but didn't approach. The plan was to make some comment about the bus times and then follow up with saying something about "where I used to live" and see if she would bite on that. But I never ended up saying anything. Then the granny sitting next to me asked me about the bus times and I helped her out. At that point it felt weird to engage the girl in a conversation when there's already one opened up with the granny. Eh whatever.

Maybe that hub isn't the best for cute girls, but I know that occasionally there are some stunners at another hub. So I'll keep scouting these spots and also play around with different times, although the best options would be in the evening when it's already dark.

But I just realized that learning to open girls at bus stops is a really useful skillset. For example, you could just go to a bus stop near a college campus or a shopping district or downtown and you'd find lots of attractive girls waiting for the bus. It will be really interesting to see what happens with the game after covid.

I might also want to try out early morning as well.

 

[Skippy]

I will be pausing daygame for about a month because of winter break, but hopefully in the meantime I will think about my process so that I can hit the ground running when I get back. Theres a lot of new techniques that I want to try out

As for my current leads

hbinterior: well the date didn't go so well, so I'm thinking this will be a cold lead. I'll ping her in a couple weeks, but I'm not anticipating much.

Lemon: She never got back to me about whether she's free. Let's see if she reaches out at all during the break. I don't plan to message her during the break because I basically sent her a ball in your court text last time so if I message her I don't want it to come across as chasing.

 

[Skippy]

Well, Fuck. Today was rough.

Lemon told me she had started seeing someone else and that it was exclusive. It's probably for the best because I didn't want a committed relationship with her. Better to end things like this before you get too attached and end up dating someone for 5 years who is not 100% your ideal kind of girl.

But it means I have a lot to learn in the department of sex and relationship management. I wrote about it here with my thoughts on why things happened the way they did.

Spoiler: Here it is if you just want to read about it in the journal

I had just gotten back from winter break so I texted Lemon to see what was up and to try and get her over. basically, she said

Her: Hey, I should've said this earlier but in the time that we weren't talking, I met this other person who I recently became exclusive with and I wanted to be honest with you instead of just ghosting you because ghosting people is messed up and you deserve better than that. I also did have a lot of fun on our dates- I'm not just saying that, I do mean it. I'm glad our paths crossed and I hope this year is way better than last year for you!

Me: Hey Lemon, I understand. It was great meeting you too and best of luck with everything :kissyface-emoji:

I have to admit, that really stung. Especially because she told me on our 4th date that she wasn't looking for anything serious and that she 'wasn't looking for a boyfriend'. While I was relieved because I didn't want anything committed with her. I thought that she would probably change her tune after fucking for a couple more months. I guess I did catch some feelings for her.

And I thought I had done almost everything correctly in terms of the management (sex on the first date, anal on the 4th, she initiated meeting up twice. and I think I took her virginity) I personally thought my sex performance was decent. We went for 3 rounds of sex each time, I was dominant(lots of growling, and hair pulling, and ass spanking), and I tried to add some variety to the sex. She told me she thought about me when she masturbated. The main negative that I can think of is that she didn't cum at all, BUT she still hadn't learned how to cum on her own and she had recently bought a vibrator to figure that out. So I dunno if that would've been the issue.

So yea, my ego took a walloping today. To think that she picked some other dude after all that.

Now I'm trying to figure out what went wrong so that I can learn about retention. This girl was seriously cute and I definitely think about her when I'm horny, but she's not girlfriend material both physically and background-wise (she's almost at that level personality-wise). So ultimately this is a wonderful learning opportunity.

Possibilities:

• Maybe Timeline with my traveling messed things up:
  • We went on 4 dates over a period of 2 weeks.
  • Then I didn't text her for 2 weeks and I was away visiting family for another 3 weeks.
  • She never texted me in that time period and I never texted her either.
  • I finally get back in November after about 6 weeks of no contact. She's flirty over text and responding at her usual rate, but she can't meet up for some reason that week.
  • I go home for winter break. We don't contact each other at all while I'm away
  • Meanwhile, she's home all alone for the break since her family is away. (about 6 more weeks)
• Maybe I used Pablo's Silent Text method incorrectly. I was trying to always let her initiate texts and as a result, she initiated texting for the 3rd and 4th dates. However, after that she stopped initiating texts and so after not hearing from her for about 6 weeks, I caved and decided to text her. maybe that was a mistake. Pablo warned in his article not to do it and I did it anyway thinking this was an exception and that it was unlikely she had met someone so soon during covid. Maybe she went into auto rejection and stopped initiating because I didn't text her and maybe I needed to be even warmer with her in person.
• Maybe too much of a lover, not enough provider traits--The thing is, she already said she said didn't want this relationship to be serious way before I left to go traveling and all that. So maybe it means she did not see this lasting very long already. Also, she's 18 and I'm 26. Maybe the age difference was too much for her. And given the fact that I was maybe a little aloof over text gave her that impression. Also, I was much more sexually experienced than her. Maybe she saw me as too much of a fucboi.
• Maybe the sex was not that great? Honestly, I'm skeptical. Kind of doubt it would be the main reason since she came back for more.

One thing that I will definitely implement is if I'm going to be away traveling, I should make sure to see a girl right before I'm leaving and give her really good sex.

Other than that, I'm not really sure where the main fuckup was, so I'm looking forward to hearing other perspectives on this. And also let me know if I need to expand on anything, or if anything is unclear.

In other news, I will be shaving my head again! My family pointed out that I was potentially getting a bald spot. I figure it doesn't hurt to try minoxidil and see what that's like but in the meantime, I'd also like to try out the shaved look for a couple months. I personally like it but I haven't spent enough time doing day game with it. Some girls say I look even more handsome with it, and some say I look like a gangster.

Anyway, For the next 3 months or so, daygame will not be my main focus because I have to work on getting an internship and strengthen skills for a career after I graduate. That, and my dissertation, and my online business are my top 3 priorities right now. But daygame is solidly in 4th place. I will probably still go out and approach, but I don't know if I will be able to go every day, like I did previously. And no, I'm not graduating this school-year but I'd like to be on top of things for when I do actually graduate next year.

I will think of a good approaching schedule that allows me to still get a few reps in each week.

 

[Skippy]

Getting back in the swing of things. I need to be doing approaches to keep in good spirits. I'm reassessing whether to bump up daygame to 3rd place on my list of priorities. It cannot be 1st or 2nd, at the moment, but either 3rd or 4th place makes no difference.

And since my 'perceived abundance' is low at the moment, I think it would be good to try Chase's 4x30 challenge. I'm not sure if I'll be in town for all 30 days but I can do it from now until whenever.

Today was a slight cop-out since I was only attracted to 2 of the girls , but the other 2 were good practice for stationary sets.

Outfit: white oxford shirt, black jeans, gray-white bead bracelet, blue facemask with ties decoration, white sneakers. I'm trying to lean towards sharper outfits b/c I think they look good with my new 'do'. I wish a had some blazers b/c they would look really good but I do have a top-coat that has a similar squaring around the shoulders and it goes really nicely.


Girl 1(Yesterday): Moving set, cute blonde with a big butt. I complimented her on her bags b/c they had dogs on them. She's receptive, I try some reality pacing by describing how a pet dog really completes the family environment. Imagine everyone sitting on the floor playing cards and the dog is just chilling there with everyone. Feels very comforting. Stayed on the topic of dogs too much, I think. Anyway she had to go buy groceries. So I just wished her a good day. I also realized I should've sprinkled intrigue baits because she wasn't asking me any questions, although she was friendly and chatty.

Girl 1: Moving, she smiled when I said hi, I complimented her on her face mask, she thanked me but wasn't interested in talking and kind of walked away from me.
Girl 2: Too chubby for my tastes, but fuck it, practice. She was standing by a bus stop, I just asked her how long until the bus arrives and she said she was actually waiting for a ride.
Girl 3: She's on her phone walking. I compliment her on the outfit she thanks me but is unreceptive. I remember gunwitch's article on ejecting too early so I exchange names and cold read that she seems like the creative type. She just gives 1-word answers and doesn't look up from her phone.
'Girl' 4: More of a granny, but I needed to practice making conversation at the bus stop and I couldn't see any attractive girls. This was okay actually. I started by asking about the bus and dropped some baits about how 'where I visited last week had no busses' and also some baits on how my job is wfh. It seemed to work and we talked about where we would travel after covid is over. I'm glad I thought to transition to an imaginative question (although I could've worded it more imaginatively)There was a bit of a language gap but it was okay.

I'm feeling more approach anxiety when I try to use RPO's or Meta Pace openers, so I'm going to baby-step them. I think those are the main skills I'd like to work on, for the time being, Finding good stationery sets is a challenge. Bus stops in my area do have the occasional attractive girl, but it's sporadic. Grocery stores would be a better idea but I will need to first figure out how to baby step approaches there. Because it's a new venue and therefore AA is higher right now. And I might wait until after covid for that. idk, maybe it's not a big deal. My city is doing even worse than before with covid though.

Skills to Learn (to anyone reading: Feel free to add suggestions about this list):

• Reality Pacing
• Meta Pacing
• Milton Model for nlp
• Adding Intrigue and baits.
• Approaching in grocery stores (Big Maybe)

 

[Skippy]

Background​

Today I thought up of a reality pace opener for chatting up girls on this one specific street that I frequent. It's a main street with a mix of cafes and shops and public transport hubs, so it's just a really unique area. I know I need to be looking at other venues too for the stationary chicks, but this is what I came up with so far.


Keep in mind, the vibe is still a little laid back. The walkways are wide and it's not crowded. I would catch up to her and walk next to her for a second, engrossed on my phone, look up, and then I would nonchalantly open with:


Me: Hey, I just realized something....
Her: (removes earphones)
Me: Have you ever noticed how when you walk on [W street] you always feel more...adventurous?
Her: Yea
Me: Like you might be just planning to go for a walk or run some errands... but as soon as you step outside and take in all the unique buildings and the blend of different cultures, and the sunny day, it makes you optimistic and you feel like anything is possible.
Her: yea
Me: what's interesting is, before I moved here I used to live about 5-10 minutes away and the vibe was definitely not like that. Over there it was kind of humdrum (This is me trying to bait her a little, to get her to ask where I used to live)


My Outfit: Red and Blue floral bomber jacket, white v-neck, gray jeans, white sneakers, gray face mask, gray+white bead bracelet (I used to get tons of instant dates when I hit up tourist spots in this outfit pre-covid)


Girl 1: Attractive Asian girl wearing tight jeans, showing off nice legs and a nice butt.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: Hey, I just realized something.
Her: (removes earphones)
Me: Have you ever noticed...walking down [W street] always happens to put me(should've said you, oops) in a very adventurous mood
Her: Oh yea haha
Me: Yea! It's something like...you could be doing the most mundane thing, like going on a walk or running errands, but there's something about the blue sky and how things are spread apart
Her: Yea for sure!
Me:...and you see all the different buildings
Her: it's a nice street
Me: And it's interesting because before I moved to [district] I used to live maybe 10 minutes away
Her: uh huh
Me: and I didn't get that feeling whenever I went out
Her: ohhh. That's good you're in the right place then!
Me: yea...
Her: Oh this is my stop (she turns to go into a restaurant)

Girl 2: ABG-type, wearing all black, and black yoga pants. She stops when I open her, a good sign. EDIT: I forgot to add, she had that sparkle in her eyes when she talked to me. I need to remember to do something like that. It's very charming.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: Hey, I just realized something
Her: I'm sorry?
Me: I just realized something
Her: yea?
Me: Have you ever noticed—maybe it's just me— but whenever you're walking on [W street]...
Her: mhm
Me: You'll always feel really adventurous...for some reason.
Her: Oh...yea I mean well I definitely like it...it's cool
Me: Like you could be going out for the most mundane reasons like for a walk or running some errands, but something about like all the different buildings makes you feel really optimistic, like anything could happen, and really carefree because it's sunny outside too.
Her: yea
Me: Yea it's just interesting because back where I used to live...It's only like 5 min away but it doesnt feel like that at all. The vibe.
Her: Yea [City] definitely changes from like one street to the next
Me: Yea
Her: Yea haha
Me: Have you lived here for a while.
Her: No I just moved here a month--not a month, maybe like a year ago. but I'm like not from super far away, I'm actually from a beach town.
Me: [area]?
Her: Uhhh it's like xyz beach area?
Me: Ohh okay. I've been there, Last time I went there I saw santa clause at the beach b/c it was thanksgiving.
Me: I've actually lived here for a while, about a year or so, but it's just something that I've always noticed
Her: It's always kind of exciting to kind of look at stuff
Me: What are you up to today.
Her: oh I'm just on the phone haha
Me: just on your phone
Her: yea haha sorry (no idea what she meant here)
Me: well okay, take care!
Her: yea see you!

So she wasn't asking any questions in return but she was trying to contribute to the conversation. I think she was just a little nervous. I could've followed up with an imaginative question. "Imagine you were to get away from it all and go on a proper adventure. And also suppose you won the lottery so money was not an issue, where would you go?" And also I kind of ended up in boring question territory at the end. These reality pace openers are fun stuff though!


I also realize I need to practice my delivery of these a bit, especially my tonality and pacing.

What I did well:​

1. Actually tested out some reality pacing. I was pleasantly surprised by how receptive the girls were(not that I doubted this tech or anything but it never ceases to amaze me). and I also had a lot of fun with this

What I could've done better:​

1. I'm not sure just yet how to transition this kind of interaction to a number close. We were both standing and talking, which means I need enough content for about 5-10 min of conversation. This also shows why it's even more important to qualify her so that way I can justify wanting to see her again.
2. Practice delivery, get the pacing down slower and a little more deliberate. Speak with a more resonant voice.
3. Was a bit short on time and didn't hit up any stationary sets. Maybe one girl was standing by a bus stop, but I think she was with her dad.

Homework for next time:​

Try out more of this RPO tomorrow. In the future, I'd like to make a reality pace for bus stops and one for grocery stores.

 

[Skippy]

Background​

I don't think I will be able to religiously follow the 4x30 approach schedule as there's just a lot on my plate, but I will go out every day for 1-2 hours, and then spend 1-2 hours typing up a field report. And whether I'm going for the upper or lower end of that will depend on my schedule that day. Also probably head home early if I manage to get in 4 approaches before then. But it seems to be taking me longer to get that target in.

My Outfit:
Olive green v-neck and black jeans etc...

Girl 1: Slightly older woman walking her dog. Wasn't too attracted to her but I went in for the practice

Spoiler: Convo

Me: Hey! I just realized something
Her: yes
Me: I'm wondering if it's just me or if you've noticed this too
Her: uh huh?
Me: I've noticed that whenever you're walking down [W-street]. For some reason it always makes you seem more...adventurous.
Her: oh...well yea its quite a world down [w-street]. Is that what you mean it's like an adventure everytime?
Me: Yea and also like it makes you feel a little more adventurous. Like you could be going out for the simplest of reasons just going on a walk or running errands... And then you see all these colorful buildings and all the mix of the businesses run my different cultures—
Her: Absolutely
Me:— And it just makes you feel...i dunno... more open-minded—
Her: Oh totally thats why I live here! I walk down this street every day. Seeing this building being built has been wonderful (points to building... and mentions some architectural stuff about it)
Her: So yea I agree with you, it's an adventure
Me: Is that why you moved here then?
Her: uhh...That's a deep question. UH Sure! That's why I stayed here!
Her: Uh are you new here?
Me: Not really, actually.
Her: Cause most people don't think like that haha
Me: I know! It just struck me...why do I like going out every day for my daily walk. And I was thinking, and part of it is, like, you know, you get to let your thoughts wander and it's relaxing, but also I think part of it is just this neighborhood.
Her: Oh! oh! absolutely! no like you couldn't make up this shit. See this wasn't on netflix, this stuff, like...


We talk a little bit about a tv show where this area actually shows up

Her: plus I like living here because it's like the city but not quite
Me: Yeah everything is wide unlike for example 5th avenue in ny where it's swarming with people. ( meant to talk about cramped-ness here instead)
Her: And it's also a bit to do with the time
Me: Do you feel like it's changed since then too? —I know for some periods it was pretty dead
Her: Oh yea absolutely, I actually , my work office is like off [v-street] so I walk down here all the time so I feel like I've seen the evolution of the [w-street].
Me: I started doing wfh during the pandemic—
Her: well yea I wfh too, just literally only go out to pick up the mail.
Her: Also, what do you do? if you don't mind me asking
Me: Take a wild guess!
Her: oh god. I don't know! Uh sales, you're way too friendly
Me; No..I don't do sales... Do I come across as a salesman
Her: No no but you're just really open and friendly. It takes a certain person
Me: Yea actually, I teach.
Her: Okay! well there you go! That makes sense! Okay okay

I talk a little bit about how I'm in grad school and TA for classes as part of my stipend arrangement. Then I learn that she's a manager of some design team—explains how she knew about the architecture stuff earlier. If I wanted to smash, I could've said something like "Oh that's cool, no wonder you have a very self-assured way of speaking. I like girls who have that kind of inner confidence" to qualify her. Then I felt like I was just walking with her too much so I asked where she was headed and said I was going the other way to buy groceries. She was very bubbly and wanted to shake hands(but couldn't due to the situation) and said she hoped she'd see me around. If I wanted to I could've said "Oh actually you seem...pleasant. How about we continue this conversation over a bubble tea some other time"


What's also nice is that she was the one asking me questions mostly.


Girl 2: She was a little standoffish and mumbled.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: Hey! Excuse me(no reaction from her), I just realized something...I'm wondering if I could get your perspective on this too.
Me: So.. have you ever noticed how when you walk down [w-street]...you feel more adventurous?
Her: not really
Me: not really...
Her: smells like smoke a lot. (mumbles something else) (Unfortunately we did get hit with a cloud of smoke a few seconds earlier)


Here I expected she'd stop for the signal but she kept walking while I was still standing. It was awkward but I caught up to her anyway. yolo

Me: Okay, here's what I was thinking. like you might be going for the most mundane reasons like going on a walk or running some errands, but you see all these interesting buildings and you see these mix of different cultures like x-businesses or y-businesses. And the weather is really nice. So it makes you feel... almost optimistic, like...anything could happen...Do you know what I mean?
Her: Yea...kinda
Me: Yea it's interesting b/c it really wasn't like that where I lived where I used to live which is only like 5 minutes away from here.
Her: mumbles something (maybe she was asking where?)
Me: I feel like all the different neighborhoods in [city] they have their own charm to them.
Her: ...
Me: Have you always lived in [district]?
Her: yea, essentially. I have to turn here though so bye!

It was a little hard to hear her because she was mumbling through her mask. And I took her to be initially unreceptive. But if I had more time, I wonder if I could've shifted her mindset. These two interactions give me an idea of how I can modify the RPO. Instead of the main theme being "[w-street] makes you more adventurous" I could switch the theme to "[w-street] makes you feel like you're going on an adventure" From here it's very easy to switch to the topic of travel. and I think this modification might actually be more relatable to girls anyway. But the downside is maybe it doesn't inspire them to 'act more adventurous'


I'm starting to see the beauty of these openers which is that they can take a girl's state and mold it to whatever you want it to be. This is probably why you can get increased consistency with them.

What I did well:​

1. Dropped some wfh baits about what I do. That seems to be working better than the "where I used to live" baits.

What I could've done better:​

1. I didn't try and edge the conversation towards travel
2. I should've approached more attractive girls, but I missed the opportunities.
3. I could've tried building more intrigue by not answering questions directly, but in todays case, I was worried the woman would drop the question b/c she might think it's too sensitive. I guess that doesn't matter since it still builds intrigue.

Homework for next time:​

1. Try the modified RPO next time
2. Reread gunwitch's article on ejecting too early
3. Think of an RPO for bus stops by this week, ideally.

 

[Skippy]

Today I didn't do any approaches unfortunately. My plan was to go out for an hour and I passed up two sets where the girls were walking towards me, since they're not my focus. I'm also not entirely sure if I approached them before. Also, I missed a couple possible leads b/c they were too far. One girl was standing around and in hindsight, I could've opened her. Lame excuses, I know. I'll do better tomorrow. But seeing these girls in booty shorts today has boosted my motivation to get my shit together in all aspects of life.


Duality of Seduction techniques
One of Chase's recent newsletter posts was really interesting on how getting the girl to qualify is 'dual' to making a girl feel liberated. Like they're on opposite ends of the same spectrum. I thought about this and realized there's a lot of this kind of duality going on. So far I can think of

Sex Talk vs Chase frames
Indirect vs Direct
Intrigue+immersion vs Banter+flirting
liberation vs qualification


These are just my initial vague thoughts and categorizations on the topic. It's a work in progress

 

[Skippy]

Background​

Did 2 approaches with the RPO and got 1 number.

My Outfit:
Gray v-neck, black jeans, gray sneakers, gray-white bead bracelet. blue with white polka-dots facemask.

Girl 1:
Pale brunette with a really nice ass and legs. When I got closer I realized she was actually a bit older. But she sounded single. I should've tried to close.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: Hey! Excuse me! I just realized something...Have you ever noticed...how...whenever you walk around [my district] it always feels like a mini adventure?
Her: ah Maybe! I dunno!
Me: cuz, let's say you're just going for a walk or something mundane, like running errands...and you look around and you see all these different unique buildings, and the—ignore the trash—(we just passed by a huge homeless dump)
Her: [giggles]
Me: —but then you see all these different [x businesses] and [y-businesses] and the good weather and it all just puts you in a more...like... adventurous state of mind...like almost anything could happen. or you're feeling more optimistic.
Her: I mean yea I guess when you put it that way, it is nice, aside from the trash. It is a nice area.
Me: It's interesting because when I moved here...where I used to live before...I didn't have that same kind of ...uh...opinion. That same kind of feeling.
Her: Do you mind me—where did you move from
Me: Oh so before I used to live by [place]
Her: Ohh got it.
Me: yea just somewhere that's really close by but um...still not that same kind of vibe.
Her: oh yea I've never actually lived by there
Me: what parts of [district] have you lived?
Her: Mainly just [This district]
Me: Oh you sound like a local then
Her: Oh no I moved from out of state to [district] and have lived here ever since. I'm local enough I guess?
Me: I mean I didn't live her originally either, I moved here too
Her: How long have you lived here?
Me: Take a wild guess
Her: 2 years?
Me: yea a little over a year and a half. I think because we switched to WFH recently, going out for walks has been ...probably one of the more unique things that you do because you don't have many reasons to go outside
Me: But I would say, speaking of adventure. After the pandemic. I can't wait to actually go somewhere and travel.
Her: yea. I guess yea when you think about it. This is as much of an adventure you could have right now.
Me: yea. So let's say you could go on an actual adventure, and travel somewhere. And let's say you also won the lottery...so you're not worrying about money. Where would you go
Her: ooh that's a good question. Well...I've always actually wanted to go to Japan and I haven't yet. And it could be anywhere at this point.
Me: Why...japan?
Her: That's a good question. I guess I visited countries in europe and south america but never...any country in asia. None whatsoever. And it seems like japan is the closest plane ride from here.
Me: Yea I could see why Japan is appealing though because you could picture yourself walking around all the neon flashing signs
Her: Yea!
Me: That's what I think of, when I think of japan....And lots of crowds
Her: What about you? Where would you go?
Me: I've always wanted to go to SEA
Her: mmm
Me: I've traveled to China,and spent a few summers but never places like Thailand and Singapore. It's got this nice tropical vibe and you could go to the beach.
Her: Yea that's a nice destination
Me: Yea and I think with travel. It's kind of like...if you live in place, you have the same thought processes. You see the same people and have the same ideas. But...when you travel...it's like you're a completely different person. Or you could be if you wanted to.
Her: hmm
Me: Do you know what I mean? No one knows who you are, and nobody expects you to behave in a certain way. It's honestly probably really free, really liberating to travel.
Her: yea, that's a good point.
Me: So have you been doing wfh or do you have to commute.
Her: So...I used to work from home before the pandemic. So that transition was easy, tbh. Compared to other stuff such as not being able to meet with other people during the weekend.

She has to go to a post office so she turns the corner.

Girl 2 hbdiane: Diane is not her real name, but there's a connection. She had long curly hair and nice curves everywhere.

Opened with the mini-adventure rpo she stops to chat for a bit actually. Immediately says "really, you feel that way? How long have you lived here?" As I start describing the experience she glances at her phone for a sec so I just ask if she's in a rush. She's getting a car rental so we continue walking. (In hindsight, this was dumb. I should've just kept talking instead of interrupting myself)

She says she like my optimistic perspective and right as she said it a big pile of trash appeared lol. She mentions another area that's a little bit more peaceful which is more her vibe. She finds her car and as she's saying by asks for my name. So we exchange names.

Me: yea you seem chill
Her: thanks you too!
Me: If you'd like we could get a coffee sometime.
Her: Uh I would be down, but b/c of covid idk, I guess we could get it to go and go to the park [goes into a long description of a coffee shop and nearby furniture store]

As I'm putting down her number, she compliments me on my bracelet (hehe) and asks me about it. We chat a little bit more about where she has lived in the past and she asks me what I do. Afterwards she says ttyl and she goes to the car. In hindsight I should've pinned down a time in advance.

I sent her an icebreaker text an hour later so we'll see where this leads.

What I did well:​

1. Transitioned into the topic of travel
2. Went for a number close

What I could've done better:​

1. I need to reinstall the ABC mentality and number close all of these girls.

 

[Skippy]

Background​

2 approaches, 1 wechat contact

My Outfit:
Gray marl v-neck(very tight-fitting), black jeans, white sneakers, gray bead bracelet, blue facemask with bowtie patterning.

Girl 1:
Tall Asian-American chick, with a nice butt. Start my mini-adventure RPO. She agrees that it's an adventure and that she just goes around here to do people watching*(I could add this topic to my RPO)*. I could've said that where I used to live, there used to be a district where just all the hipsters congregated and that was great for people-watching. She had to turn the corner and abruptly left. I'm not sure that she was too keen to begin with.


Girl 2: Chinese girl wearing a creme colored sweater and brown pants.
Me: have you noticed how walking around [district] is like its own mini adventure?
Her: Really? haha I live here actually
Me: (continues with the rpo)
Her: yea haha that's right
Me: It's funny b/c where I used to live, before I moved here, was not like that
Her: —where did you used to live?
Me: Take a wild guess!
Her: I have no idea! I guess somewhere west coast
Me: That's right actually, I used to live by [nearby college area]
Me: that place was much more residential
Me: I'm guessing you lived here for a while then?
Her: I actually just moved here in December for my new job
Me: oh I see. Yeah ever since we switched to wfh, it has been easier to just go out for a walk to enjoy the area
Me: But once this whole pandemic is over, it would be nice to go on an actual adventure. You know, to go traveling.
Me: So you for example, lets say you could travel anywhere you wanted and you also won the lottery so money is not an issue. Where would you go?
Her: I would actually visit a bunch of places and stay there for a little bit and then move on.
Me: So like a digital nomad?
Her: Yea
Me: That's honestly the dream
Her: hahaha
Me: Yea you could live in each place for a bit, experience the culture and the parts that make each place nostalgic and then you could try another place whenever you wanted.
Me: In fact, being a digital nomad is like the ultimate form of freedom. You're free to live wherever you want to live and also... you're free to be whoever you want to be, because if you're living in a country for a while, everyone knows you, everyone expects you to behave a certain way. But if you travel around, you're free from judgement, you can be whoever you want to be
Her: yea...

I change the subject to what brings her to [city] and we chat about how she came here for a new job and how she moved from Indiana and thought it was mostly boring (sorry, people from Indiana!) but she said she liked the animals, so I qualified her


Me: I like people who like animals actually. Because it means they're compassionate usually....or maybe you just like the cute ones.
Her: haha yea mainly the cute one
Me: I don't blame you though. My cousins recently got a dog...have you ever had one?
Her: Yea
Me: well imagine you're sitting around with your family playing cards on the floor and the dog is just chilling there and you can pet the dog while everyone is laughing and playing. It's just such a comforting feeling
Her: yea! hahaha

She starts asking me a bunch of questions about what I do, where I study and says that she knows some people who go to my school and she asks me about my specialization. (Ohh, maybe this was a social frame grab or was it just a strong hook?) I use this to transition into talking about Flow and how I like my major because it allows me to tap into that feeling of flow. (I could've followed up with asking her what puts her in flow)

I ask her if she likes what she does and she's not that keen on it and so I ask her what she would do instead. She says either stay at home and read books or start her own business. I ask her what she's up to right now and she's just heading home. I mention I'm going nearby to the market and she relates saying she discovered another market too. From there the conversation transitions to where she's from (China) so I relate with her a little bit saying I spent a few summers in China and she asks me about that. Then the market arrives so I tell her it was nice chatting with her and ask if she wants to continue over a boba sometime. She waffles a bit and says she's really busy with work and she's not sure if she's even going to stay in the city much longer. I propose we just exchange wechat and keep in touch. She's a little surprised that I have wechat (typical) and she adds me.

I think what was missing from this interaction, is she didn't really open up very much. I would say she hooked solidly, but I probably needed to try something like contrasting and listing to get her to talk more so I could build similarity. I do think my framing and immersion seemed to hit well because she was emphatically agreeing and asking a lot of questions about me. The scenario description with the dog and everyone playing cards is a great way to transition into the topic of connection. Lastly I think this interaction was missing investment and qualifying.

I sent her an icebreaker and she replied. But since she was waffling on meeting up for bobas, I'm not sure how to get her out. I only exchanged wechat under the frame of 'so we can keep in touch'.


Old Leads: texting w/ hbdiane

Me: Hey hbdiane, it's Skippy. Nice meeting you today
Her(the next day): hi Skippy, it was nice to meet you. How was the rest of your adventure yesterday?
Me: oh it was pleasant : ) I ended up visiting a [grocery store].
Me: hope you enjoyed your excursion to [place]. I wonder if it's crowded these days

No reply. I probably botched that. Maybe I should've just gone for the soft close "oh it was great! looking to start a bold new one involving coffee and parks soon...but I might need a companion for that"

What I did well:​

1. Setting traveling frames was nice
2. Setting the comfort frame with dog was nice too and it seemed to get her asking me a lot of questions, but I'm not sure if there's any utility. Maybe she'll just associate me with comfort as well.

What I could've done better:​

1. I still have to figure out how to build intrigue.

Homework for next time:​

1. Try out the tourist frame gambit (from Bacchus's article) basically, flesh out what I have so far for that
2. Build more rapport with the golden question and contrasting and listing

 

[Skippy]

I read this article https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-get-past-sticking-point. I learned that while it's good to be meticulously writing field reports and analyzing my interactions, I also need periods where I just stop reading theory, and stop writing field reports and just keep approaching and let my current knowledge become ingrained in my intuition. Then once I feel the itch, I can resume analyzing and studying again.

I've gotten so used to writing field reports that it feels weird to do a daygame session and not write a field report afterwards, but I will try that out for the time being. Maybe for a week or two.

My main sticking points are converting numbers into dates(it happens if I put in the approaches, but I would like to increase the ratio so that I get more frequent practice) and converting dates into pulls (this is the big one . I've been on about ~20 dates and instant dates from cold approach and only pulled once)

 

[Skippy]

Outing (3/11/2021)​

I was out of the game for most of last month. Still busy with the internship hunt. But I realized I'm just going to have to figure out a way to balance everything, because there will always be something urgent coming up. Thankfully, I have an idea on how to make it work, which is to just pretend I'm working a 9-5 and go out to do approaches after those hours. I will try to be more efficient with writing field reports. So I'm looking into different options.

On the bright side, in about 4 weeks, I'll be able to start going to my old hunting grounds Hopefully that will help me get my volume back up.

My goal was to go to a grocery store and spend most of my time there. The one I chose today was crowded and had a lot more talent than I was expecting.

My Outfit:
Black skinny jeans, purple long-sleeve crew neck, textured overcoat.

Girl 1: Street Approach: Older Korean woman (I would estimate mid-30s). She was really receptive to the mini-adventure RPO, and would say things like "Really! that's really interesting that you think that!" but she also didn't really understand English, and would misunderstand what I was asking and answer something else. I didn't really have a chance to follow up much on the opener because her office came up pretty soon, but she lingered while saying bye so I suggested we continue the conversation another time. But she said she was a CPA and was "really busy b/c it was tax season". So I left it at that

1. I should've persisted, but also I was feeling pretty indifferent about her.
2. It was a bit too short of an interaction to qualify her before number closing, but I would've qualified her on having really "cheerful and friendly vibe...I bet you're also an open-minded and nonjudgemental person" but also...it's unclear she would've understood me.

Then I went to a supermarket where I saw a bunch of approach opportunities and capitalized on none of them.


Girl 2: Short-haired Asian girl wearing a long coat.
She glanced at me as she exited the supermarket, lugging a heavy bag of groceries. This was too fast that I didn't react in time, so I just thought I'd try and catch up to her and open somehow(Maybe use the mini-adventure RPO). But I never did catch up to her, and she crossed the street and I didn't want her to think I was following her, so I turned back to the supermarket as planned. Next time, I could try a "Hey you do you know who you look almost EXACTLY like" opener. This still requires me to react quickly though.

Girl 3: Alternative Asian chick
I was entering the alcohol section and we locked eyes immediately. But I was surprised that she looked that attractive. I think I broke eye contact first, and didn't really have an opener to use.

Girl 4: Black girl checking out wines
I hesitated for too long and the opportunity was gone. I need a good RPO for the wines section, something like "Hey I just realized something! Have you ever noticed how when you're browsing the wines you see a bottle that looks familiar and it takes you back to the time when you first tried it?

And the follow-up...."And isn't it interesting how certain things have a way of triggering nostalgia? Like say you had to pick a drink that brings back the most nostalgia or the most happy memories...what would you pick?"

What I did well:​

1. Explored a new supermarket. I live within walking distance of lots of supermarkets.
2. Actually made an approach, and went for the close, even though I didn't think it would work well.

What I could've done better:​

1. When it comes to opening girls at the grocery store, don't try too hard to get the perfect angle or the perfect pre-open just yet. Aim to actually make the approaches. Instead of the 3-second rule, use the '1.5' second rule.
2. Have different RPO's with follow-ups for different sections of the grocery store so you're not hesitating so much. So I got one for the liquor/drinks sections. Since there's a lot of potential sections to make RPO's for, I'll keep in mind any time I have a missed opportunity that I'm kicking myself over and I'll craft an RPO for that section in the grocery store as needed.

​

I know that if I keep trying to approach in supermarkets, I can eventually break that mental barrier and supermarkets might just end up becoming my most lucrative spot. I had that experience with the tourist trap where at first I struggled to even get any approaches in, but then it became the place where I would consistently get instant dates, pre-covid. I need to get in 5 more approaches this week.

 

[Skippy]

Background(3/12)​

Only did two approaches, but I finally opened a woman in the grocery store. I passed up 5 opportunities to open girls because I hesitated too long. Good news, I actually ran into 5-6 opportunities in the grocery store that I could've legitimately gone for if I had just opened my mouth. No having to speedwalk 4 blocks just to catch up to a girl.

And this grocery store is pretty maze-like, so if I'm careful, I can do a handful of approaches without causing a scene.

My Outfit:
Blue racer, purple crew neck, gray jeans.

Girl 1: Korean girl with long hair

I fucked up the preopen and she was also pretty icy. I walked past her and looked above her head first, but accidentally looked at her eyes, and she caught me looking at her. I opened with my mini-adventure RPO. I also wasn't smiling with my eyes.


Me: I just realized something...
Her: [removes her earphone]
Me: I just realized something and I was curious about your perspective on this
Me: Have you ever noticed how walking around [place] is like a mini adventure?
Her: yes
Me: [continues with rpo]
Her: yes [puts back in her earphone lol]
Yea so that went nowhere.

Then I went to the grocery store and after missing many opportunities to open girls by hesitating for waay too long, I decide to just open some random older Mexican woman, just to force myself to do it.

Girl 2: Older Mexican woman at the wine section
Me: Hey I just realized something. Have you ever noticed how when you're shopping for wine, you see a bottle that looks familiar and it brings you back to the first time you've had it?

She opens up and tells me how she doesn't really drink too often but after visiting France she got into it a little bit more. I drop some bait by saying "I really enjoy drinking wine on a cold wintery night...where I used to live it would snow a lot". She bites and asks where I used to live and I had her take a guess. I kind of started clamming up but there were many promising avenues to take this interaction. For example, I could've cold read her being open-minded and adventurous for picking up an interest in wine


Grocery Store RPOs:

1. [General setting, works in most aisles, needs field testing though] Have you ever noticed how when you go grocery shopping, you might make a list and have a plan for what to buy, but when you get there, you see all these interesting options and all of a sudden you're in a mood to explore, investigate, and try something new! ...Honestly, I would say grocery shopping can be pretty relaxing when you're not in a rush and in some ways it can even get you to engage your creative juices.
   1. This needs a good follow-up question though.
2. [Wine section, needs more field testing ofc] Have you ever noticed how when you're shopping for wine/alcohol you notice a bottle that looks familiar and it brings back memories of when you first had it?...Yea it's interesting how some things can bring back nostalgia right? Like suppose I were to ask you this: if you had to pick a drink that brings back good memories or nostalgia, what would you pick?

What I did well:​

1. Finally did a grocery store approach!

What I could've done better:​

1. Less hesitation on all of those chances

Homework for next time:​

Do one grocery store approach on a girl you're genuinely attracted to.

 

[Skippy]

Background​

I haven't masturbated in 6 days and I'm going to try and go 90 days without masturbating. Mainly because last month I watched a lot of porn (but did not masturbate to it, thinking that it was okay) However, I found out that just watching porn and not orgasming is even worse. So I decided to also quit fapping and let my brain 'reboot' (sex is still okay though). I was worried that my libido had diminished. I think my erections weren't as strong, although I could probably rub one out if I had to.

After 3 days I was feeling a lot of sexual desire and sexual energy. This is pretty typical for me. I'm not sure about the erections though. I never really kept track of this stuff before but I vaguely remember I used to pop random boners more often.

Anyways it's been 6 days and I usually don't make it this far. I want to see what the effects are if I quit it for 3 months and only rely on sex to get off. I will give updates on this experiment.

Today I went to a different supermarket and didn't do any approaches there. It's unfortunate because there was this really cute girl that glanced at me twice, but I kept hesitating too much and she would move to a different aisle before I opened my mouth. Also saw a lot of girls with great asses there and it just increased my desire further. After wandering the supermarket for an hour. I paid and decided I would at least do one street approach before it got dark.

My Outfit:
Hazel-colored contact lenses, white racer jacket, purple 'noise' crew neck, gray jeans, gray ultraboost sneakers, bead bracelet.

So the colored-contacts are only because my main pair had a tear in it and this is my only backup, but I'm curious to see if it affects anything.

Girl 1: She was originally walking towards me and as she neared I realized she was gorgeous. So I pretended to look straight ahead and then turned around to go after her. I gave her about a two-block distance before going after her so when I did catch up, it would just seem coincidental.

I pass by her, look above her head, then make eye contact and say

Spoiler

Me: "hey I just realized something"
Her: [Looks surprised/confused but doesn't say anything otherwise]
Me: Have you ever noticed how walking around [district] is like a mini-adventure?
Her: yea...??
Me: Yea, cuz, I was just thinking. I didn't feel this way where I used to live before, but when you're walking around you see all these interesting buildings and there's like the x-businesses and the y-businesses...and then all just put together makes you feel... a little more open-minded, a little more creative.
Her: okay yea, I could see that
Me: yea? But you don't sound like...that's your first thought
Her: no
Me; no...well then how would you describe it?
Her: umm...It's one of the few urban areas in [city], there are parts of it that are creative, but it just depends on like what your frame of reference is.
Me: I guess compared to my frame of reference, this is more...urban than where I used to live. But, especially when I need that extra bit of creativity for my work, I do go out for walks and I find that helps. (I think here it was a better idea to focus the conversation more on her. I was trying to talk about myself to drop some intrigue baits but, she wasn't sufficiently hooked, so probably she wouldn't bite on the intrigue baits yet. So there's two main threads she mentioned which is creativity and 'frame of reference'. I should've taken either one of those and gone with it. For example, "since you mention frame of reference, isn't it interesting...how the people of different cities have their own unique ways of expressing their artistic side?" I could compare and contrast the ways from this city and 'where I used to live' and then transition to asking her what she does to express herself)
Her: alright, well I'm headed to [store]

and she turns into the store. Okay I run into this issue a lot, where the interaction is abruptly cut short because the girl was planning to turn into a store or something.


At first, this girl seemed a bit skeptical of me, but she seemed to be warming up, and so I think I could've changed that (this reminds me of another girl I opened a long time ago who was frosty at first but after building some similarity with her, she really warmed up)

Conclusion​

When I got home, the frustrations of today made me really fucking motivated and really determined. All this extra sexual energy created a burning desire to not only take more action but also to manage my time effectively and to get my shit together. I'm itching to go out again.

What I did well:​

1. Used labeling to get her to open up a little more "it doesn't sound like this is your first thought when it comes to this city"

What I could've done better:​

1. Keep working on the grocery store approaches! Instead of waiting for the girl to notice you, meander about the aisle and when you are next to her, pick up something, count to 3, and say "hey I just realized something"...wait for her to turn and look at you... then continue with the RPO.

Homework for next time:​

Test out grocery stores Sunday evening (b/c streets are usually dead) and get in a good grocery store approach.

 

[Skippy]

Background​

Today was a decent day in terms of Approach Anxiety. Did two approaches, did the grocery store approach, and one moving set approach. Whole outing took 90 min. Not bad. If I can go out each day for groceries and do one approach on the way there and one approach inside, I'll have 14 approaches a week with just that.

My Outfit:
Blue racer, matching face mask, purple crew neck, gray jeans, gray sneakers, hazel contacts.

Girl 1: I used my mini-adventure RPO. She turned out to be a high schooler, unfortunately. The good thing is that I didn't go direct. and since we were walking in the same direction, I switched to Social Skippy instead and just chatted with her a bit until we were parting ways.

I went to the grocery store and it was mostly couples. I saw a brunette in yoga pants in the soy sauce aisle. She notices me as I walk past and moves out of the way. I examine some bottles nearby and then open: fkn finally.
Girl 2:

Me: Hey I just realized something. Have you ever noticed how when you're grocery shopping, you might have a shopping list, but then you see all the interesting options and it makes you want to explore and try something new!...do you know what I mean?
Her: I know, right! I was just at costco the other day and bought so much more food than I planned to haha
Me: yea honestly grocery shopping is actually relaxing when you're not in a rush
Her: yea I feel like most people are always in a hurry these days (around this time her body language moved to wanting-to-continue-shopping)
Me: yea it's a fast-paced city

So I'm realizing that it's easier for conversations to unravel in grocery stores. In this case, a better idea would've been a follow-up question, like "are you planning to make anything interesting this week?" lame, but whatever, might as well explore a bit and see where this leads. Actually any follow-up question is a better idea because otherwise there's no reason for her to keep talking. Right now, I'm happy to be getting the grocery store approach in. Another thing to consider is my body language. For example, if I don't face her fully at some point, she might think it was just a passing comment and dip out. So I want to test that out as well.

I'll aim to get in a few more reps before I seriously tackle the question of how to get her to hook.

What I did well:​

1. Actually did the open.
2. Had less hesitation.

What I could've done better:​

From reading the latest posts on the forum, particularly by Kvothe, Phoenix, and Bacchus. I'm getting more ideas on the approach/pre-approach mechanics. So it seems like when opening moving sets, there are a couple of ways to actually stop the girl. One is you just open over your shoulder and stop walking. and the other is you walk a little bit ahead of her and slow down and she gradually will slow down as well. And then you stop. I need to try those out next time, because so many of my interactions were cut short because the girl's apartment building or shop arrived.

And then there is the important idea of engineering it so that she feels she saw you first. Kvothe mentioned in his journal how he would start the interaction with "hey...[waits for her to acknowledge]" and so on. He mentions a better way is to just go into the whole thing like "hey, I just realized something" or dropping the use of the word hey altogether. I think that's a really neat observation and I also want to make that adjustment too.

Homework for next time:​

One grocery store approach